Penny and the Day of Reason.

I thought for a change I might introduce a part of my other website to this one since many people here won’t have seen the other side of me and may  not have met Oscar the unelected alarm cat from my books who has his own blog. By the time they finish this, they may be glad of that fact. Oddly enough the blog post I’m going to share was not written by Oscar even though it appears on his blog. It was written by Amy the de-facto leader of the rats who sometimes nips in and writes when Oscar’s not looking.

So, here you are, I hope you enjoy it. If not,  blame the Rats not me !

Penny and the Day of Reason   http://lorddavidspage.weebly.com   Oscar’s Blog 27.06.2012

The humans ( whom that daft cat calls Longlegs) went out quite early this morning. It’s possible they had something on their minds since it seems they forgot to feed Oscar before they left. We could hear him bemoaning the fact for a long time. It doesn’t matter quite as much for us since the houses we have inside the cage are edible and we can go longer without liquid refreshment than a camel. Two minor points here I should mention, don’t expect your rats to exist on anything but edible houses any more than you’d like to exist on a diet of nothing but potatoes, and, don’t think because we can do without liquids that you shouldn’t offer us a cup of tea when you have one. I enjoy one anyway.

Oscar’s moaning was getting beyond a joke so when he wandered close enough I called him.
“What d’you want Rat” ? he asked.
“Now now pussycat” I replied, ” just wanted to know if you need help.”
“I’m hungry” he said, “what can you do about that”?
“Well, remind youn that the housekeeper Grizelda will be here in an hour” I said.
“But I’m hungry now Amy and I can’t open the packets myself” he whinged.
“I think we can help then” I told him, “but you’ll need to open the cage door since the catch is on the outside.”
“I can do that” he responded “but can I trust you, and what would you want in return”?
“You can if you behave, and how about peace between us.” was my answer.

Oscar undid the catch on the door at the bottom end of the cage. Since it was a simple hook it didn’t tax his brain too much. The door being open it was but a short jump to the floor. I told Priya and Bernie to stay and guard the cage and took Penny with me. This concordat may have been reached with Oscar but I wasn’t sure he could overcome his base instincts and Penny was my watchdog. As Penny hit the floor Oscar reached out a paw and clamped it on her back. “And you Rat had better behave or there’ll be trouble.
I was ready to pounce and tell Oscar this wasn’t a good idea when Oscar removed his paw and started walking away. “Follow me rats” he said.

I heard Penny mutter something about payment and the Pied Paper but didn’t quite catch it. We followed the cat. It was a short distance to the room where his dishes were.
Once there Oscar pointed out a box full of foil sachets. “I need one of those” he told us
“and I prefer the ones that are the colour of apples.”
I jumped up onto the small table where the box was and checked inside. Oscar wasn’t much help since there was a red beef one and a green rabbit one inside. With a 50% chance of being right I pulled out a beef one. “Is this it” I asked.
“Yes, that’s it, like an apple as I told you.” he said.
I dropped the sachet to the floor in front of Penny and asked her to open it which she did with ease using her teeth to cut away the top. I picked it up and held it over Oscar’s dish where it slid out easily. He moved towards the dish without a word and started eating. Penny moved forward and nipped Oscar’s tail.

Oscar leapt a foot in the air and almost choked on his food. “Why?” he spluttered.
I looked at Penny for an explanation, “Yes why?” I asked,” I thought this was a day of reason.”
“It is ” said Penny, ” and the reasons were he put his paw on me and he didn’t say thank you for opening the food.”
As we walked back to the cage leaving a bemused cat behind us, I decided maybe I should re-evaluate my opinion of Penny.
We shall have to see if the agreement between Oscar and I stands.

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “Penny and the Day of Reason.

  1. Lmao – Go the Girls!

  2. Imagine if Oscar and the girls really teamed up against you humans. Just sleep with one eye open from now on to be sure you’re safe, ok… :)

    • Sleep. what’s that? I stopped doing that ages ago after Oscar tried sitting on my face after I’d forgotten to fill his dish. Any more animals move in here and I’m going to live in the garage. I just realised, Ju’s worked this out well. She buys them and I get to look after them. Maybe it’s humans I should be more wary of.

      • Maybe you should feed her credit cards to the girls. It might slow down any future additions. Either that or you will suddenly find you have a frighteningly large line of credit at the biggest pet shop in town.

        Hmmm… maybe you should start buying your own pets. Giant arachnids? Man-eating snakes? Of course then it would only be fair for Lady J to start looking after your new friends in return for the efforts you have put in for hers!

      • Feeding her cards to the girls is a great idea. Maybe they could even make a new house out of them. As for buying my own pets, that wouldn’t work as there’s no space left to house them anymore.She used a shoe horn to get the last fish tank in.

  3. I’m not a huge fan of anthropomorphism ~ but I enjoyed the twist in this tale! ;)

    • Very kind. The stories didn’t start out to anthropomorphise but Oscar as the ‘hero’( his opinion) of my books needed to be seen to rule my world with his ways and I had no idea how to get into the head of a cat. Since this was intended to entertain my wife only originally it wasn’t too bad but I was persuaded to blog him and it seemed to go from there. Then came the girls and they demanded equal rights for rats with cats………

  4. avril wilson

    Hi David loved your tale of Oscar and the rats ,very true and funny Rosso is slumped on my lap as I write sometimes resting his paw on the touchpad causing the curser to go mad !!

    I now live in England Hampshire and my new email address is avwils@hotmail.co.uk
    Avril

    • Hello Avril, thanks for the kind words. Beware, Rosso may look slumped but he’s probably taking everything in ready for when he starts his own blog.When did you move to England? I hope you’re settled there and happy. My email is mikproju@talktalk.net if you want to tell me the story of what brought about the move. Hugs

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