Unanswered phones and How to diet-then not.

Sunday. I rose at 5.30 am today as I deserved a lie-in. My brain must have known it because it refused to release my leg muscles until that time. I’m really grateful it held similar control of my bladder. I pratted about with mail and answering blog comments until about 8.00 am then headed to the kitchen to feed the fish, deal drugs and to compound the hard man image, make myself a cuppa. I even used Columbian coffee ! Back to the mail and I was shocked to hear Mike’s alarm go off at 9.00 am on a Sunday. He never sets the alarm on a Sunday since he usually relies on me with a crowbar. But, despite my worries that he might be leaving before lunch and had forgotten to tell me, he just ignored it as usual.

When I finally heard him stir. I made him a coffee and left it on his side table and returned to my room. I was checking out a few things on Ebay. He wandered through and sat on the edge of my bed checking card tables out with me. Neither of us could believe the price some people are asking for something half the UK couldn’t throw out fast enough a few years ago. Some were asking over £50 which in $ is,  a heck of a lot. Card games and board game are just not the fashion anymore and it’s a shame as it brings families together to insult one another while now you just throw insults at a screen to no response. I’ve marked 2 to follow.

By 12.15 I’d pointed to his suitcase so he could get dressed, packed and ready to go out. I thought it might be nice to visit with Reuben and the tooth so Mike offered to drop me off on the way to his dad’s after lunch. So Mike rang Yvonne and had to leave a message. We lunched at The Blossoms and ( really sorry Catherine) the lamb was delish though Mike had loin of pork this time. Still no response from Yvonne so he tried the home phone then Ugo’s phone with no joy. After lunch Mike ran me back home and left on his journey. It turned out later they’d been out with phones off and attended a meeting about football.  Treats will have to wait till Tuesday. I spent the afternoon and evening alternating between the TV and my mail until boredom drove me to bed. I have one of those books I can’t decide about but can’t put it down.

Monday. It was a late night. It was also an early morning so give me a nudge if I drop off please. Just not hard enough so I drop off my chair. Quite a bit of mail first thing so for once I hadn’t finished before the usual kitchen visit. I brought my cafe crema back and continued on. The turnover of jobs in Burkino Faso is phenomenal, either that or the bank there has more than one ( crooked) financial director. I only say this because two of them want me to assist in scams today. Two unfortunate families have died in plane crashes leaving two separate multi-million USD accounts unclaimed. One director wants to award me 40% for laying claim to the account and one wishes me to accept 30%. I’m not sure I could appease my conscience for less than half. By 9.30 am my yawning was starting to annoy me so I went though to the lounge and nodded off in my chair for an hour. It doesn’t feel as decadent as going back to bed.

About 10.30 I came back through and got dressed. Just as well as the chemist knocked at the door a few minutes later. I wouldn’t have wanted to answer the door in my dressing gown, not that my dressing gown has a door…………I digress. Finishing up my mail for the morning I went through to see what I could have for lunch. Lucky me, baked potato and beans ! Though I did have some roast pork with it.  After washing up I watched an antique show and then decided to sort out my coins into the new case MuJo had bought for my birthday. That took a fair while and managed to keep me awake. There was a reasonable looking film on a little later so I went tpo see how the card tables were doing on Ebay. I’ve put a bid in on one that ends at 9.30 pm tonight.

For tea I had a toasted bap, two pieces of malt loaf ( very small) and a small sugar free chocolate mousse. Then I stopped messing round and have 4 Cadbury’s dark chocolate fingers. Mmm Mmmm. I saw Law and Order, an episode I’ve not seen before then came through to work again. So far no rejections on the poems but the edit isn’t over yet. I’m really looking forward to seeing the idea(s) for the cover too. Well, nothing more to report today so I’ll wish you all Goodnight.  Hugs

Tuesday. When I first woke this morning I checked to see if it was raining before making a decision as to whether I’d go out. It was, but not enough to give me cause to stay in all day again or to let the antisocial element in me keep rising to the surface. So, I did all the things I usually do first thing, dealt with my mail, I saw to the fish at 7.00 am and took my drugs and made a coffee at the same time.I took the coffee through and refreshed the mail, there were only 7 more so I got washed and dressed to be ready to go at 8.00 am for the bus. By that time I was able to leave my inbox clear.

It was a close call outside as to whether I changed my mind as the nearer I go to the bus stop the more people there seemed. I was slow as I was carrying a fairly heavy bag today. It helped as a bus arrived to remove the kids and as I drew close to the stop my own bus drew up. I let the three others who’d been waiting for it get on before me so I didn’t feel hemmed in and then settled in a single seat so that no-one could sit next to me. I’d forgotten my mp3 player but found it easy enough to rest my head on my crutches and close my eyes. The journey took from 8.10 until 9.30 and Yvonne was waiting for me as I got off. Reuben was fast asleep in his pram and I was warned he was grumpy. We headed for the Costa where we could grab a rooms settee and pull the pram in to the side of the table without obstructing anyone. As I got rid of my coat Yvonne went off to order coffee and toast. While she was at the counter Reuben woke up and smiled. I got him out.

Yvonne brought the coffee over followed by one of the staff with toast and little pots of jam.Reuben was having the time of his life bouncing around on my groin area trying to give me ‘mumps’. I buttered a bit of toast, added jam ( his first time) and passed it over. There was the usual grimace when anything goes in his mouth ( except fingers) and then he chewed away merrily. We both allowed him little bits of toast till all was gone except for the sticky pieces all over my jumper and trousers. Maybe she’ll let me borrow one of his bibs next time. From Costa we headed for the Shopping Precinct. I managed to get Yvonne some nice photo frames and a new warm coat. I was rather hoping to find a brown top like a cardigan or fleece for myself so we went into an H & M where there was a lot for Reuben but I wasn’t lucky. We left there well laden down and had a wander round a few other shops. At lunch time we went into a small cafe we know and I  ordered bangers and mash with a cup of tea while Yvonne had a Tuna pasta. She started feeding Reuben his packed, or maybe that should be pouched, lunch but he didn’t seem too impressed. He was blowing raspberries and sharing a good proportion of his lunch with us. Yvonne gave up.

Our lunches arrived and with that Reuben’s interest in food suddenly revived, So, by the time we’d finished he’d had his first mashed potato and grave, along with his first real pasta sans tuna which they can’t have this young. After the meal we went to one last store to look for my top. I was very lucky and found something. I got it one size too large so everyone thinks I’ve lost weight. Reuben was lucky there too with some fantastic outfits in the sale. I’ve bought all 6-9 months today as he’s at the last point of his other size now. We walked slowly back to Yvonne’s where for the first time today Reuben started being a little cranky. Yvonne tried to get him to sleep to no avail at first so I had him doing the Riverdance in my lap. Eventually he wore me out and Yvonne had him back to try again. Instead I found myself nodding off and waking myself up with a big snort, much to her amusement. At least Reuben dropped off for a while.

Ugo came home and after changing we all headed off to bring me home. We stopped for my bread on the way and then for chips which we ate at home. Reuben didn’t seem impressed with his tea again but he did fare better with the melon and grapes for afters. I did Ugo some chocolate puds and he almost wept when Yvonne asked for a sample when he had a full spoon and again when we suggested letting Reuben just try a wee taste. Just before they left I let Ugo know that I’d given Yvonne a memory stick with the family tree on it and to make sure she didn’t lose it. He suggested she probably already had since it had been over an hour. Since h=they left I’ve been a good boy, glued to my screen. 167 emails awaited me plus and award I had to sort out and of course this blog. t’s now well gone midnight and I am about to give up, Midway through the week tomorrow ( today) and my brother’s birthday. I hope you all have a Great Day.

Wednesday. When you’re talking atrocious weather you’re talking what I woke up to this morning. I’d woken a few times in the night to crashing noises but managed to drift off again. At 4.45 I woke up thinking a bomb had dropped the boom and crash was so loud. When I got up to check the house all seemed OK but through the kitchen window I saw the gaping maw of a wheelie bin with a big No 8 on the side. Oops, that’s mine. I was glad it was a little early for passers-by as I nipped out in my dressing gown to wrestle it back into place. It was pouring with rain and the threatened 100mph winds kept trying to tear it from my grip. I managed to get it back on the step where surprisingly my little food bin was still standing.

I came back in shivering and looking like a drowned rat ( sorry Penny and Priya). After rubbing a towel on my head for about 30 seconds to dry what remains of my locks I started on my messages. Of the many blogs I follow some stand out for their attention to the unfairness of victimisation. One which had made me cross last week was about making abortions illegal in a certain country in Europe.It seemed to me a retrograde step taking women’s rights back quite a way. Yesterday there was a blog by the quite brilliant E.B.de Mas on his blog http://pinkagendist.wordpress.com/ on a similar subject , women’s rights.  This followed posts he’s done about homosexuality which includes how gays are victimised and again the retrograde step some places are taking to remove gay marriage from law. Having myself written pieces on how young people have been hounded to death for their sexuality and how one Church promoted the idea of physically chastising children as young as 5 yrs if they stood in a gay way I decided to blog again about the Buthidar movement where Religion is forgotten or at least placed behind the idea of living together in peace and some harmony. In the past this has created some controversy but today the support has been quite overwhelming.

I got dressed around the 8.00 am mark and dealt with the fish and my morning fixes, drugs and coffee. The rain was still belting down and the wind howling. I’d just returned to the computer when there was a horrific sound outside. Opening the front door against the pressure of the wind I saw a neighbours large wheelie bin dragging along the floor leaving a trail of binbags behind it. Believe it or not this person is even older than me so I had to dash out again, my slippers immediately filled with water and pull the bin upright while trying to pile the bags of rubbish back in. I’m not kidding when I say the force of the wind didn’t make it easy to return it to their front step.

By lunchtime I was starving and the baked potatoes and beans were very welcome. After eating I decided to stay and watch Sheerluck Holmes in an old episode and promptly nodded off. An hour and a half later I woke up wondering why Sheerluck wasn’t still on. I worked through my mail in the afternoon then had some pineapple for tea and settled to await my brother’s arrival. I didn’t have long to wait. He strolled in about 5.30 pm and caught me unawares. I’d actually been listening to the wind and wondering if he’d risk the journey. Dil was alone since Matt has a viral infection of some kind. Lee sent a text saying he couldn’t make it as the weather is so bad. Dil an I started with a couple of very close games of scrabble which I just managed to pinch both times. The smirk was wiped off my face at the end of Nomination whist and again when we played Crazy 8′s where I think I reached the 301 mark before he reached double figures. Redemption only came with our last game, Cribbage at which I pipped him to the post.

After he left it was straight back to the computer to deal with the 128 messages from you all and then to blog until 12.40 when I finally drew a curtain on the day. I’m still going to have a short read first though.

Thursday. This morning all was quiet. I couldn’t hear the rain nor the Banshee howling, head on, roof rattler of yesterday. It was still dark ( as it often is at this unearthly hour of 4.45 am ) so I’ve no idea if it’s wet outside or not. As usual I turned the computer on as I passed on my way to bladder control head office or wee sittee. There was a ton of mail again so someone loves me. I was amazed at the support on yesterday’s blog. When I first mooted the Buthidars on Facebook some years ago I actually had people working in different countries to create groups to promote the Hugs and a Worldwide Hug Day. More seriously we also had individual members skilled in various jobs who were prepared to offer help and advice from how to avoid an arranged marriage to giving advice on where to seek benefits in different countries. All was going well until a Christian fundamentalist from the US accused me of stealing good Christian souls for my Church. I was obviously the Devil and no amount of reasoning that we did not have a Church to steal souls into, worked. So beware, you know who you’re dealing with now and though my horns may be cute they’re meant to lead you astray. I moved the group from Facebook  to its own site but a failure to raise any help from Universities to promote a special day at that time had the group fizzle out. The story of the Buthidars is still out there in cyberspace though.

When I went to the kitchen at 8.00 am the sun was shining and the ground was dry.Until I opened the washing machine and remembered I hadn’t set the dry cycle last night. Damn ! Not too bad though and I set the frier going. (Freudian slip, I meant drier obviously). I spent some time setting my tablets out for the week and then took a drink back to the bedroom. I got washed and dressed then had my coffee moving a little further down my mail list. I wanted to go out as near to 9.00 am as I could so the bread man had time to deliver but no-one else had chance to buy the white baps. I managed it and got my new lottery tickets at the same time. Not that it would do me much good as yesterday lunchtime there were three separate appeals for money in monthly amounts and I know there are different ones daily. I do give to charity by direct debit but I’ve made a few one-off donations from these appeals. Now I’m skint. I know they’re meant to give us a conscience and I know they’re meant to make us feel huge sympathy for the causes. They work and I do, But I can’t help wondering how much is spent to make and place these adverts. I’ve really had to harden my heart.

I came back from my successful mission 4 baps the richer and immediately got back to work. It took me all morning to reach a point where I thought I could break off for a while. Because I’d been at it so long I went for speed at lunch time and the diet was thrown out. I had ham and microchips with some coleslaw and sliced tomatoes. I spent half the lunch break trying to swallow past the lump from today’s adverts for a child with malaria and a child starving. I turned over to a music channel instead, Sorry Sherlock. The afternoon nap saved me from much of that but it was shortlived when there was a knock at the door. I could see green through the glass and thought it was a nurse or someone from the chemist but when I opened up it was one of the wardens checking there was no damage from yesterday. I thanked her.

I’m sure you’re not interested in my tea or the rest of my evening which as usual was divided between the TV and here. There were no spectacular messages to report. I’ve finished this before 11.00 pm and I’m going to curl up with a book now. Ooh, before I go remind me to tweet about my first book which is on the cheap today on Kindle, goes up a little on Saturday and then reverts to its proper price on Monday. It’s a little test to see if it tempts anyone.  Night all.

Friday. D’you know what time I got up this morning? Go on, guess. Ah, you can do better than that. It was 3.33 am. That’s a new version of ‘Not a Happy Bunny’ time. I nipped to the loo as I was fed up of skipping and by the time I’d started, stopped, started,stopped, started and stopped again I was wide awake. Awake enough to realise it was best to finish on a stop and walk away. The computer was ready to go when I got back so going back to bed wasn’t an option. I must get out of the habit of turning it on as I pass. I found I needed an early start anyway as my mail box was full again. I am grateful for all the comments I get and retweets but so many sneak in the minute I go to bed that there were 37 alone between 11.00 pm and midnight last night. Then of course there were this morning’s ones.

As 8.00 am approached I paused to see to the fish before they came looking for me. I took my morning meds and found I’d forgotten  last night’s batch so I dropped them in the bin so no-one knows and made my coffee. I had a birthday card to go and I’ve just not had the weather to go out and buy a gift the last few days so the card read…… Dear Mattie, Hope you have a wonderful Birthday. I got you a gift token but forgot to enclose it before I sealed the envelope. Huge Hugs, David. I wonder how long I’ll get away with that one.

Back to the mail and I’m still heartened by the response to my Buthidar blog. If I can get everyone who comments or retweets to include a Hug in their mail and the people who receive it do the same, the world should be covered in hugs by next weekend and maybe they’ll spill over into reality. Well, you can’t blame me for wishing can you? It’s worth repeating that I honestly believe we could have peace if enough people wanted it and maybe we could concentrate on the planet and it’s needs then. The mail took most of the morning but a parcel was delivered at 11.10 am and just at that time I came over very tired and retreated to the lounge . I wanted to nod off and I tried to nod off but it just wouldn’t come. I sat listening to the rain being beaten against the window by the savage wind outside instead. At midday I gave up and made lunch..veggies please look away now. I had my baked potato(s) and beans but added some bacon for a change. I didn’t even mind that it was smoked which I’m not keen on. It was wonderful.

I had another hour on the computer after lunch before deciding to watch a film on TV. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention but after about fifteen minutes I realised I’d seen it. Most sensible people at this point would have found another film or maybe put on one of the hundreds of DVD’s they’ve bought and not watched. Did that occur to me? Did it heck, I just allowed my eyes to glaze over and nodded off. At about 3.00 pm I woke and wandered through to keep the mail up to date. I’d caught up somehow and wandered through to open a tin of chineapple punks when my phone burped. A message from Mike to say he was on his way from our friends after dropping some boxes off there. I quickly ate the pineapple and had the last slice of malt loaf then sat watching an antiques show until he arrived which was about half an hour later. I made him a coffee, we hugged and waited for the programme to end. He then told me all about his week in which he has to include the notches on the headboard just to tease me, he knows I’m a monk. I’ve been halibut for years now. Then he moans because I tell him to read the blog to see what I’ve been up to. Have to keep the numbers up don’t I in case WordPress ever decide to showcase me.

Mike washed my hair this evening and I had a shower. A blessing for mankind Mike called it akin to an annual pilgrimage. There were a couple of CSI NY on which we both like then a Law and Order special victims unit where both of us knew who the baddie was before the police. Then it was time for me to come back to this box. A friend of mine has kindly offered to put Reuben’s book on Lulu for me and I’m trying to find out what format she wants things in from me as well as making a final decision about size. I’m favoring A4 to give a child chance to open the book on the floor and the writing will be a good size, but a bit smaller may be better. Plenty of messages going back and forth. It’s almost 12.30 am now so it’s either good morning or goodnight to you all depending where you are.I’m up for an early shop in the morning if I can raise the undead from his pit. Hugs to you all.

Saturday. It was back to 4.20 am today and not having a bursting bladder meant I could plough straight into the messages. Surprisingly there were less than 60 and quite a few were either adverts or things that didn’t require much action. I was quite far down the list at 5.00 am when I nipped to the toilet. Being as quiet as I could be I walked o tiptoe so as not to disturb Mike but as I opened the bathroom door on my way out I was met by an apparition. I was scared witless ( a short journey) and almost needed the loo again. A grunt along with an arm that swept me out-of-the-way told me someone else had a greater need and not wishing to get the mop bucket out I let him go. It was too much to hope tat he was up and staying up and the futility of that dream was proved moments later as I heard him go back to bed and recommence snoring.

Once I finished the mail at 5.30 I made the mistake of refreshing the screen and ended up with another 57. Grumbling under my breath I made a start. News to cheer me, the poems are almost edited and the pictures are fine. I believe we’ve even made a decision as to book size, almost, perhaps, maybe. The title of the book which was kindly created by our friend http://roughseasinthemed.wordpress.com has only undergone a slight change to please me and credit will be given where due. ( On pain of death- which I decided against as the alternative was better-life). I hope things will be completed before another week is out and I can present Reuben with his own book. Of course I daren’t let him touch it yet or I may as well have presented him with confetti.

This last batch was competed before 7.00am and I had time to dress before Mike’s alarm went off . I took a coffee through and told him it was there. “Yes please, thank you sir, Oh kind sir thank you.” was the response I got from his sleep. Obviously that’s the best time to talk to him but fair play, he did make a move. Of course it was still almost 8.oo am before we left. I dithered about putting the rubbish out as the rain was foul and there was still some wind about ( he’s not well you see) but I risked it. We shopped. We were actually out of the store by 9.20 am and heading for Flint where I needed a last couple of things. No Saturday would be complete without banter of course so we stopped for coffee at Temptations. I wonder if when they named it they knew just what temptations would take place. Mike not only shares his sexual exploits with us, he openly advertises Ceri’s even when he has to invent them which is all of the time. She enjoys every minute of it, or so he tells us.

Back home we unpacked the shopping and then Mike let me catch up on my mail so there wouldn’t be too much waiting for us when we got back from our next trip. First we stopped off at Abakhan Mill to look at some green baize for the card table. In with all these materials at about £4 per metre we find the baize at coppers short of £30 per metre. So guess who didn’t buy that then. I shall choose another covering or hit Ebay. Then we stopped for lunch at the Ivy and as we walked in Tariq asked if I’d sign my books for him. “No problem” I said. We had a laugh with him, with the (nice)  Cat Lady and the Sophisticated lady who were all on duty. With the genuine humour and the kindness there it’s no wonder the atmosphere is as good as it is. I’m so looking forward to seeing the rest of the building in the proposed units . I want it to be around a long time. If I ever get brave enough to venture forth on my own Kassidy’s, Temptations and The Ivy Emporium will be my destinations. If people ever want to do guided tours of the places in my books they’ll be taken there. Shella wasn’t in today so no chance to say hello to her. Mike and I both settled on One Sausage and egg bap and One bacon and egg bap each ( he’s a copy cat) and what a lovely change from baked potato and beans. The time came to pay and Tariq brought the books out for signing. He wanted to give us lunch free in return. I almost didn’t sign. He could go bankrupt at this rate and I won’t just lose a cafe I’ll lose a friend or two.

On with the journey taking the coast road so we could  see how savage the sea was. I’ve seen it worse but I wouldn’t like to have been out today. This constant rain is demoralising. We reached our friend Brian’s and he looked better than usual. After a cuppa he was taking us to see his new ground floor flat that he moves into on Monday. We were both impressed as despite being a one bedroomed place it’s really spacious. We had a good look round and then returned to the carnage that’s his current home. It’s three bedrooms which he can’t enjoy since having had a stroke last year. We’ll go on Monday and help with the move.

At home later, I spent an hour or so catching up again so I could have a couple of hours with Mike watching TV. I confess as he fiddled with the laptop I was studying my eyelids from the inside again. Still that only lasted half an hour and I was my usual sarcastic self in no time. He maintains I’m caustic and sarcastic in my sleep so he can’t tell the difference now. We had a companionable evening which was nice up until it was time for me to come through and finish for the day. He followed me and caught me eating two dark chocolate ginger biscuits.  The sad eyes and the two foot knife convinced me I should offer him one despite him not offering me a bite of either of the TWO pizza’s he’d eaten earlier. That’s life, or mine anyway.  I wish you all a wonderful week and Hugs Galore. xxx……………………………………………………………………….

Happy Home Knit.

Happy Home Knit.

The Little Man

The Little ManCover 4

 

 

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