Tag Archives: Oscar

The Unkind Heart & Africa Goes.

Sunday. I know I turned my light out last night a little after 12.15 am. I could hear the film Mike was watching until I drifted away. I woke up again at what I think was 3.00 am but The Sleepless One who Shall Not Be Named swears it was 3.15 am. What’s a quarter of an hour between friends. When I went to the loo not long after I swear someone was asleep though he swears not. I started on the mail and by 5.45 I was almost there and decided I could probably go back to bed for a while. I did nod off and enjoyed a few hours sleep only to find when I got up it was all of 6.21 am  and to add insult to injury that 30 minutes or so had collected me another 42 pieces of post. Still, it’s a Sunday, I have all the time in the world, why worry. I saw to the fish at 7.00 am, took my meds and made myself a coffee. I carried on working , commenting, liking, thanking, in my own little world when all of a sudden an apparition appeared at my door. No, not the ghost of Oscar but Himself. The man who can’t get out of bed without three calls from the alarm clock, a shout from me, a coffee and a bolt of lightning from Zeus himself. It’s 8.21 in the a.m. and he’s trying to give me a heart attack. you can tell he knows what he’s doing to me because this breathless wheeze escapes his mouth that makes him sound like Muttley.

I’m in such shock I let him make his own coffee. I’m thinking of having another mouthwash, purely for medicinal purposes you understand. He chooses that moment to dash off to the bathroom so I just carry on working. The forecast for today is quite good and Mike suggests a car boot. I like the idea but suggest not going to the big one as the ground will be sodden underfoot after yesterdays downpour. Instead there’s a smaller one fairly local which is on hardstanding so he agrees to that.We get out about 9.15 am and arrive about 9.40 am. There aren’t as many stalls as I’d hoped and the best bargains might have gone but there’s plenty left. We hit one stall and buy some books, 4 each from a young lady who said she didn’t think she was going to sell any of her books today. Mike said she just hadn’t had discerning readers up till that point as he chose 4 Stephen Donaldson’s, I chose 4 Terry Brooks. I picked up the obligatory picture frame as nowhere would be the same these days if I didn’t buy a frame. I think I’ve more frames than wall now. A couple more books and then something like a doorbell that plays a wicked tune and says Beware at the end because it reminds us of the Addams Family. Finally a computer/office chair which is leather and looks unused. We were done and decided we needed a coffee.

We headed for Flint and stopped at my favourite shop for chocolates on the way. Then a few minutes in a shop with SALE written across the windows of course. Finally we got to Temptations for a drink. He was very disappointed that Ceri wasn’t there to argue with. We enjoyed the drink anyway as it was awfully warm outside and with the chair in the boot we couldn’t have the roof down. So, we took the goodies home swapped chairs. unpacked the rest of the stuff locked up again and took the old chair to the skips. Once disposed of we headed off to the Ivy for lunch and to see if Tariq and the family had managed to get their holiday after all. Mike’s earlier attempt to kill me finally caught up with me in the car. They had managed to get away and we were both pleased. Despite the weather it was busy there and poor Angie was suffering, rushed off her feet and very warm. She refused all offers of help from us though. At least she had help in the kitchen. We got our drinks and lunch followed not long after. As usual we enjoyed it very much. Because things were so busy we decided not to hang around so expecting to get away without any argy bargy I went to pay. I hadn’t reckoned on Angie who was adamant I should pay the bill and nothing more who hadn’t reckoned on me who said I always leave a tip to show my appreciation and Suck It ! I won I’m glad to say. If they weren’t worthy of a tip I’d be a lot meaner.

We went home and Mike loaded the car with his suitcase in preparation for the next stage of his journey, to make his Dad suffer like he does me. He tried to persuade me to go to bed but it was a case of Talk to the Hand. I knew there would be a lot of mail. I waved him off and came back where I bumped into a neighbour and then came in and started work. 173 (Thanks a lot peeps) which kept me going until 5.45 pm when I needed a break. I took a tablet and had a piece of toast then turned on a film I’m sure they said was by Quentin Tarantino. A young orphan living in a Paris railway station winding the clocks unknown to anyone else. I’m afraid I was done by 6.45 and gave up. Back into battle. At 8.00 pm I went through to take my tabs and found I’d left the fish tank light on. They were out and didn’t seem to mind me seeing them. I turned it off with abject apologies and came through again for the night. I’ve kept apace with the messages so far but have broken off for this so I don’t knmnow how things are now. I’ll go and have one last effort.

We interrupt this broadcast with a Newsflash. Due to the pleading of the Lord Daud fan club, yes both of them The Snail and East Of Malaga I now have to shock some of you who have a delicate spirit. They require proof that I have indeed purchased and genuinely worn my Mr Men lounge pants. I am going to spare you as much as I can but it was necessary to take a selfie of just one leg. Look away now Ethel.

Stand near the fridge so you don't overheat (laughing).

Stand near the fridge so you don’t overheat (laughing).

Monday. It was 5.12 am today. I consider it a lie-in and a treat.I know I’d been dreaming and as I went through to go to the loo I leaned in to the big bedroom to say something to Ju. It was deflating to see the bed empty and for a second or two I didn’t understand. I suppose it’s just as well Mike wasn’t there or I may have woken him burbling some nonsense or other. Going back to the bedroom and the new computer chair that also catches me out because I go to lean on the arm as I’m used to doing and it’s about 6 inches lower.I fall over. There was such a lot of mail today that when I went through at 7.00 am to see to the fish I had barely dented them. I went through the usual routine and took my coffee back to the bedroom. ( actually now I’m out of bed I should call it the office and make it sound grand).

I’d wrapped most of it up by 9.15 am and went to get washed and dressed so I could take my prescription to the chemist’s. It was really warm out and I was sorry not to have changed to sunglasses. The poor girl I saw in the shop was really warm. Taking a slow walk back was pleasant despite knowing more mail would be waiting. It was. Not a major problem though as today’s pace was going to be slow. At 11.00 am I knocked off for a break and went to see what was on the goggle-box. Sometimes there are interesting programmes on like Who Do You Think You Are. I’m not sure I got as far as turning it on before I nodded off. It was only for 35 minutes but was very welcome. I took my pre-lunch tablet and put some new potatoes on to boil. Cold meat, coleslaw, tomato and wonderful new potatoes. I even managed to stay awake for my antiques prog.

After that it was time to hit the mail again until 2.00 pm when I received a text from Yvonne to say my niece, Mike’s daughter was on her way. She’s over from Poland on a short visit and seeing everyone she can. I have a rough idea how long it takes for a car to get here from Chester so I went outside to meet the car when it was due. Lisa and her son Alex got out and I was amazed how much he’s grown since I last saw him. A quick hug and back inside for drinks and in Alex’s case, liquorice allsorts, chocolate biscuits and an ice lolly. Lisa and I had a good catch up on the rest of her family, especially her mother, and also on her pregnancy since she’s been for a scan. I now know the sex of the baby and can tease Mike since he doesn’t want to know. They stayed with me until almost 5.00 pm then headed off on their next visit. It was lovely to see them.

Next it was back to the dread machine again for an hour. I wanted a break for tea and a little TV so knocked off from 6.00 to 8.00 pm. Unusually for me I watched the news about what’s happening with the plane crash in the Ukraine. I’m devastated for the families of all those killed. I hope they release the bodies soon and treat them with some dignity. I also watched another Antiques Road Trip with two good participants so it was good. Finally at 8.00 pm I turned the box off, took my tablets and came through. I’ve been battling to get straight ever since. Time to have a last go at it before getting some sleep as I’m due out tomorrow to see Yvonne and Reuben.

Tuesday. A 3.50 am day. My pattern seems to have gone to heck just lately but at the end of the day I get up when I get up and that’s that. One day I’m going to surprise Mike and stay in bed longer than him. I started work on the mail and kept an eye on the clock, though I wish I’d taken it with me when I’d gone to the loo. One eye doesn’t improve your aim. At 6.00 am I went through (early) to see to the fish and one of the plecs was dashing about like a mad thing as though he had ants in his pants. At least he settled down to eating when I put the algae wafer in. The plecs are usually very laid back.My favourite fish of all,time (  sorry Olive) was Zippy who I had in a 6 foot tank. He was a rescue pangasius and grew to over 18 inches while I had him. He had to be rehomed with someone with a bigger tank still. He was a catfish and as you can tell from his name was rarely still. But he loved the timbre of my voice ( mahogany in case you want to know) and would come to the edge of the tank for me. So beautiful

Pangasius shark

Pangasius shark

Olive on the other hand was an oscar I had in a tank in my bedroom. She had a face only  a mother ( or me) could love with a big bottom lip like she was sulking.Very, very powerful musculature. She was about 8 inches long when one night I woke to a crash and she’d jumped, thrown the double lid off the tank and landed on the bed with me. She was actually bleeding from contact with the lid but she survived. If I was working and ignoring her she pick gravel from the bottom of the tank in her mouth and spit it at the glass until I paid attention. A few words, a stroke and she was fine again for a while. On the other hand Ju had Ollie, Olive’s nemesis in a tank in her room. They were hell if kept together. And he’d wait for Ju to put her hand in to clean the tank and he’d go for her. More than once he drew blood the little so and so, but Ju adored him.

Olive. Ollie was darker with black streaks.

Olive. Ollie was darker with black streaks.

Ju had 7 tanks in total with all sizes of fish from a 20 inch catfish to a half inch neon. Eventually her arthritis + caused so much trouble she couldn’t manage anymore and we rehomed the fish and the tanks bar the small 32 x 12 x 18 tank I have now with the last 5 fish.

Anyhoo, I fed the monsters, had a piece of toast, took my meds and brought a coffee through. It was now about 6.30 am so I washed and dressed. I shot through the rest of the post as quickly as possible so when 7.25 came I was almost there. I put ‘puter into a deep sleep, got my backpack on , grabbed the bag of things I couldn’t get in the backpack and headed off for the bus stop.  I was there in plenty of time as the bus was late. The usual driver wasn’t there but hearing someone chatting to this driver I found out he’s on a fortnights holiday in Sunny Scotland. The journey wasn’t bad in that we made up the lost time but that meant a very jerky Brands Hatch journey. Then when we reached Chester the man turned left instead of right and lost me completely. Eventually I got off in the main street by M & S and had to rush to meet Yvonne. At least she’d gone to the cafe when I said I was late and wasn’t waiting at the bus terminal. I was glad of my latte when I got there. Reuben was smiles all round at fist but a little tetchy later and it looks like apart from having been poorly his mouth is under assault from new teeth again. At least he was fine for me while Yvonne looked at all the new stuff I’d bought him. There were the usual moans to ignore of course.

We left there and went looking round H & M where for once I didn’t find anything for him. I didn’t in NEXT either though I did manage to get Ugo something, and stroppy madam bought herself something. We shopped for food, had a nice drink sitting outside a cafe, I had a milk shake. Eventually I did find something for Reuben and for Yvonne too and two more things for Ugo. Nothing for me today though. After the last shop I decided to go home while Yvonne went and got ready for work. She was swapping the care of Reuben with Ugo at the door of her work and Ugo was coming with him to me. When they arrived Ugo brought me the jacket that Yvonne had scored over me with. A match for last weeks waistcoat. Wonderful, but now I have to start plotting again. Ugo bought a chippie tea, I had sausage with mine, also gravy and mushy peas. I was very careful with the eating as it now looks as though I’ll have a mouth ulcer next. I think I’m run down even though I haven’t stood in front of Mike.

They left about 6.30 pm and I attacked the 184 messages and am still working on them without even a quiz tonight. Do I hear an Awww?

Wednesday. It was an amazing 6.05 am today, nearly 6 full hours with no middle of the night visits. It didn’t help clear the mail though. At 7.00 am I went through to th kitchen having barely made a dent in it. The cory and two of the plecs were waiting so I didn’t keep them waiting long.  I had some toast and my tabs then as usual took my coffee back to the bedroom. The coffee seemed to have the opposite effect to it’s reputation,  I was continually leaning forward and nodding off over the keyboard. It was so bad at 8.00 am I even went back to bed and did fall asleep. I was back up at 8.35 am though. Thst little boost didn’t do the job and I was still nodding so decided it was time for some fressh air and went to Pauline’s for my TV mag.  I did feel better when I came back but I was back dozing at the desk before 10.00 am. If a man falls asleep at his desk and there’s no-one around to hear him, does he really snore? Of course not.

The mail was roughly up to date by 10.55 am so I went and sat in my chair in the lounge. Big mistake, its hot today and the sun is streaming in. Within minutes I’m asleep again, When I finally come to it’s lunchtime and I turn on the TV for the antiques show while I eat. I wash the pots and sit down again.  There’s a very strange feeling in my chest like something about to happen but I’m not sure what. The pain isn’t like my angina and the tightness isn’t there. A quirt of my nitro doesn’t do much except give me a headache but by then I’m asleep yet again. It was gone 2.00 pm before I went back to the computer and Oh No, the inbox is full again. I had to stay there until 5.15pm before I got up to date. A few minutes after I’d finished Lee arrived.He’ working from home at the moment and really under pressure. Dil and Matt turned up about 5.30 pm so the crowd all here. I wait until the quiz on TV finished before I bring the card table out and crikey, that hurts. I can’t let Dil do it ass he’s hurt his back and he’d have to move if I got one of the boys to do it.

I decided we’re playing Yahtzee first and that turns out to be a big mistake as my brother who whinged about losing last week gets 3 yahtzees in the first game. While I score less than 200 points having lost my bonus up top, his score is over 600. We play four rounds of this with each of us starting in turn. I did manage one Yahtzee in total but no-one can catch Dil up. The game took quite a while and as we finished Dil suggested Cribbage in pairs. We managed 3 games with Dil and Matt taking 2 to Lee’s and my 1. So perhaps not my best night at games but at least there was some laughter when Lee obviously making allowances for the rate of inflation starts counting Sixteen for one, sixteen for two……. because he’s a novice at crib there was some hilarity when we came out with One for his knob and two for his ball and bat. From now on I think we’ll stick to plain counting. They all left at 9.30 pm and I tidied up and washed pots before coming through to do battle. It’s been hell. The pain is still there, the pain of losing never goes away and now I think I’ve got RSS in my wrists from typing. I hope you all had a nice Wednesday.

I don’t seem to be able to paste a video for you tonight, Sorry.

 

Thursday. I repeated the 6.05 am again this morning. This time there seemed to be less effort staying awake doing the mail even though there was another boring message from Burkina Faso  about my millions and a clever one purporting to be from MBNA on behalf of Virgin credit cards. It might have fooled me if I’d had an account with them. The fish seemed quite happy to see me at 7.00 am which is worrying, I know where I am when they’re angry with me- usually a long distance away. I had the usual toast and my tablets then took the coffee back to work. At some point I got dressed and went for fresh baps. Oh my, it’s like being in the middle of the Nevada Desert with the sun beating down unmercifully on my head and me crying out for a cooling drink, but the pubs aren’t open yet so I go home instead.

I wasn’t sure if someone from the chemist might call this morning so I didn’t hesitate much to open the front  door part way. It was a mistake. There were two people, an elderly gentleman and a very pretty lady who did the talking. She’s been before so bear this in mind. As always the conversation started pleasantly, as always I retreat into an utter wreck, shaking and stuttering for Britain. That I’m in difficulties and distress must be obvious. Trouble is I’m not impolite so even if I could have said “Get lost” I wouldn’t. I’m sure there Jehovah’s Witnesses are lovely people out of uniform but it seems once they don the jackboots everyone is fair game. At some stage I was asked some innocuous question to which I was able to answer “But I don’t believe in God” though you’ll have to add a lot more random D’s and B”s to that sentence to get the gist of how it sounded. She asked whether I was perhaps an evolutionist then to which I was able to nod though at this point I was more inclined to go for the Glasgow Kiss in which I’m sure Seumas can educate you. The , “We’ll go in a minute and let you get on” was followed by reading some passages from the bible which were meant to show God was responsible for building my bungalow and for the landscaping. After leaving me some booklets to look at they finally left and my doorstep was clear. I bet if someone was coming from the chemist they took one look, laughed and ran off. I’ve  known them for over 5 years and would have been able to talk yet these people tried to make me talk despite the obvious difficulties. I told you to bear in mind the woman had been here before. I managed to tell her last time how difficult it is for me to face new people, to talk to them. I hardly ever open the door to them s I’m beggared if that fella from Burkina Faso ever hand delivers my cash. Yet because this woman , this church, feels the need to invade people’s space they’ll come again and again. Little wonder that people can be rude to them. I swear I’m going to reopen the Buthidar church and go into competition with them. A ‘One Size Fits All’ anti-religion where tolerance, respect, equality, love and above all Hugs is the order of the day.

For lunch I had bangers, new potatoes and peas. I watched the first medal in the Commonwealth Games fall to a Brit (OK, she was English but there were no Welsh contestants). It was for the triathlon and she was magnificent. Then it was back to work to make up for my unscheduled stop. I did have an hours sleep to try and help me recover from the discomfort I’m in and perhaps it worked a bit. I worked again except for a gap to have some tea and a break from 5.15 pm to 7.20 pm but no, I wasn’t eating all that time. I came back through to try and keep abreast of the mail ( Oh, I shouldn’t use that word in my state of health- to keep up with the mail is better). I needed to make sure I could  get the post done before having a read. I also want to see if I can understand why youtube is not posting to here anymore.

Innocence -USE

Thinking hard

 

Still having problems with youtube videos I’m afraid.

Friday. It was a 5.54 am day so the times are still hovering around the 6.00 am mark. Perhaps whoever does the book-keeping for the Gods realises they’ve been making an error for a long time and are trying to make it up to me before I go up and complain. As it happens this favour has put the pressure on a bit with mail but we’ll bypass that. The pain in my chest has receded even more it seems. There isn’t much tightness there either now. I still don’t feel like going out and the urge to dress is missing. I worked until 7.30 am before going through to feed the fish, I tell myself it isn’t because I got carried away and forgot but that they’ve had a couple of late nights since I got carried away and forgot.

Being Friday it was also time to do the weekly tablets ( yes, I’d forgotten that too) so I decided to save time by not having breakfast. I’ll just have to remember to eat tea. That took me until 8.30 am when I was able to go back to work with my coffee. I suddenly remembered that my nephew is coming this morning to collect my African art so I break off to go and take it off the shelves and replace it with all the board games that have taken up station next to the cupboard recently. I leave everything laid out neatly on the settee for him as I don’t know how he’ll want to pack it. I decide maybe I’d better get dressed after all but it can wait till I have my breath back so I sit at the computer with the mail for a few minutes that become half an hour. In fact I’ve not long been dressed before he arrives bringing his wife and little girl with him. I haven’t seen them in a while. Of course I’d covered up most of the available seating so we had to find bags to pack everything into. I offered drinks and they got to looking at the now famous photo wall. The photos made us touch on a couple of sore subjects which aren’t easily solved. I was also reminded that next Saturday I’m invited to a party to meet the Great Niece I didn’t know existed until recently.

They left before lunchtime and I had a further go at the mail before breaking off to make something to eat. A small beef joint and some new potatoes today but I couldn’t finish it all. I watched a little of the Commonwealth Games and then my antiques show before deciding to have a snooze. Oddly no text from Mike yet.That came at 1.30 pm and woke me up I’m glad to say. He’s on his way so I’d better make sure the mail is well under control before he gets there so I don’t have to love him and leave him. Given the usual 3 hours I expect him about 4.30 pm. After that time I start to panic but I don’t want to text and disturb his driving. I was in and out of the pit working a lot while waiting. In the end he arrived after 6.00 pm because of traffic problems. We gassed, put the world to rights and watched TV. Then it was time for the ritual hairwash and my shower. The pain was a little more prominent so Mike helped me dry off, at least he said that’s what he was doing when he kept flicking the towel at me. The worst of it was I’d had to sit down on the karsie by then ( lid down people).

I made us a sandwich which we followed up with dark choc ices and we carried on blethering until 9.00 pm when it was my cue to depart. I’ve made a good hole in the mail and managed to do the blog and it’s not yet midnight. Yay, I’m off for a read. Night all.

Saturday. Things must be getting back to normal since it was a 4.59 am day despite having read till well gone midnight last night. Mike was up even later than me watching something on TV . I didn’t even have any wanderings in the middle of the night so was more than ready to get out of bed when I woke. Because I’d finished a little early last night there was an accumulation of mail from yesterday to finish before I got to today’s.  Not that I was too worried as I felt OK at that stage. At about 6.45 am I went through to the kitchen to shine a light on my fishy friends and to take my tablets. I was on my way out to check I had enough tabs to take out in my little pillbox when Mike’s alarm went off. I turned on my heel and went back to make a drink for him.  Once done I followed the well trodden path of taking it through and a little louder than necessary, announcing it’s arrival.I checked the pillbox and went back to the kitchen to get my own drink and to empty the bins. Yeah, I nearly emptied the damned things all over the floor when I saw this apparition sitting in Mike’s chair, holding Mike’s coffee and having the cheek to light one of his cigarettes. Not even a second alarm. The little beggar even had the impudence to smirk at me. I almost changed my mind and emptied the rubbish over him except I didn’t fancy the job of cleaning up afterwards. Instead I asked him to put new bags in the bins while I took the full ones out. Then I put the recycling bags out , washed my hands and nipped back to my room to check the mail. Just 6 so I rattled them off and took my drink through to the lounge to keep Mike company ( If it was really him).

With a little gentle cajoling and some outright sarcasm I got him to get ready to go out and we beat our previous best by a few minutes arriving at the Supermarket by 8.05 am. After getting the jackpot on the ATM again we started shopping. There wasn’t a great deal to do but there was a lot of ground to cover so it took a while. We had a coffee afterwards and mine was one of those cold frappe ones with loads of ice so he sat watching me like a hawk hoping I’d get brain freeze. From there we headed to Flint as I’d heard one of our shops has a special on furniture at the moment and I was hoping to get a big brother for the micro bookshelves I bought recently. No joy I’m afraid but we both came out with some unnecessary clothing that was too good a bargain to miss. Then it was time to witness the sexual innuendo and affectionate banter between Mike and our Ceri in Temptations. I swear there are customers on a Saturday morning who just go in to listen to those two charge their horses at each other in joust. It’s almost like peeping through the nets at something naughty happening on the lawn only to find the nets are too thick so you end up having to imagine it. She’s an absolute dream though and so funny.

From there we went home to unpack. I was hoping to see to the mail before we went out again but somehow we ended up on Facebook trying to befriend Ceri and finding she doesn’t have a friend request box anywhere and believe me we looked. I’ll have to wait till we see her and ask her to befriend me instead. By the time we’d both given up in disgust it was time to go for lunch and we were looking forward to finding out if Tariq managed to get the family passports sorted in time to go on holiday. He appeared delighted to see us when we walked in and came round the counter to give us hugs. I still don’t know many men who aren’t afraid to do that. After that Shella came out and passed me a bag which contained some sticks of rock they’d brought back after I’d joked with Tariq about it. I didn’t expect they’d be able to get rock abroad and so was only teasing him. We all burst out laughing but I managed to get a hug and kiss from Shella. I put the chocolates on the counter for Angie, she’s done a great job while they were away. Tariq made our drinks and took the food order while Mike and I went outside into the beautiful sunshine for a cigarette. Lunch didn’t take very long when we were inside. Afetr we’d finished we had a long chat with Tariq and then Shella came to talk to us too. It’s like going to a friends house for lunch. Fortunately as it came time to leave I was able to give the money to Shella who doesn’t argue with me even though she passed it to Tariq I was OK as he was busy with someone else.

As we left I was expecting to head home to do my mail but Mike expressed a wish to go to Llandudno to see our friend. I could hardly refuse so Mike phoned him and turned left out of the gate. The journey was a little short of an hour and we got there to listen to the story of the woman upstairs who’s harassing him for having a dog when she has a cat.I used the term woman instead of lady as I’ve heard some of the language she uses which puts me to shame. We decided to go out for a drink instead of sitting inside in all the heat. That’s probably the last time today I’ll rub it in about our weather . We got to a parking space and walked round to a cafe where I ordered a milkshake it being to warm for coffee…I thought. The sun was shining down but this Queen of Resorts is famous for being a windy city and it’s reputation was well deserved today. The wind was colder than the milkshake, I held the cup to keep warm. When we finished and defrosted, moving back into the sunlit streets without wind it was glorious again. We dropped Brian off at home again and started our own journey so we arrived back at about 6.00 pm. I’ve been in here ever since apart from a ten minute break to wash some pots and to put Ju’s new flowers into vases for her. It’s now getting late.

At the Zoo

At the Zoo

At the Zoo 2

At the Zoo 2

 

Banana Boat Song Anyone?

Banana Boat Song Anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Serene Sunday & The Wanderer Returns

Sunday. I was up for a while in the dark  of the night but not ready to start work so after a couple of cigarettes I went back to bed. I slept until almost 7.00 am. When I did climb out of the pit it seemed so peaceful I couldn’t find it in me to rush.  After the traditional nip to the loo I worked on a few messages and then at 7.30 decided I’d have breakfast today. I had the last of the cornflakes and then conscious of our rules about food waste, put the crumbs from the bottom of the box in the bin. Tonight I could kick myself when I think the crumbs could have gone outside for the birds and maybe I’ d have caught some nice photographs. After feeding the fish ( what a humanitarian I am) I had my morning meds then took my coffee back to the bedroom and into battle. It seems bankers in Nigeria and Burkino Faso work Sunday’s too. So it seems does a fake talktalk team who say my account will be cut off within 48 hours unless I fill in some forms to get a new code to replace my password. Yeah right, I think I’ll risk it thanks.

When I next looked at the clock it was 10.05 am and I hadn’t even got dressed. Big decision time, should I bother? Yes, I should make the effort really. So today it was my Robin Hood impression, green jeans and a green hoody. The mail was finished by 11.00 am so I went through to the lounge and sat checking I had enough cards for this month’s birthdays. April and May are heavy months. A little later I took my pre-lunch tab and microwaved myself a roast beef dinner of which perhaps the nicest thing that could be said was, it was hot. I indulged myself in a small pudding afterwards then before settling down, washed the cutlery I’d used. Such heavy work. I couldn’t settle to anything on the TV but wanted a break from the computer. I could see smoke coming from somewhere near me and was afraid I’d fallen asleep smoking gain so I was frantically looking around until I realised the cigarette was in my mouth. I knew I must be tired so I put it out and fell asleep.

I moved between bedroom and lounge all afternoon, keeping up with the mail and looking for something to watch. There were little bursts of sunshine when an antiques programme came on but nothing special. I had some ham and coleslaw for tea with a couple of baps then finished off the strawberries and cream. I found a CSI NY to  watch and then decided to stay for the Star Gate film that I assume started it all, with Curt Russell. Have to say I preferred the chap who played the squad leader in the TV series. It was fairly entertaining but once it was over my patience with TV was done and I came back through to look at the mail again. I’ve been able to take my time with both mail and blog tonight which has been great.

Bank Holiday Monday. It’s 3.32 am. I swung my legs out of bed thinking “I’m not missing this” and hovered almost the full minute before the clock changed again. Yes, the room really is that small. If I counted as I walked from one end to the other I’d be there before I finished One. The width is even worse. Being a pedantic beggar, Oscar was not very happy when I used him to prove the old adage about there not being enough room to swing a cat, and I wasn’t even at the end of his tail. I never understood why that cat hated me so. As this is like a double Sunday I wasn’t too chuffed with the time  but there wasn’t much choice. I did feel cheated at the lack of sleep though since I’d only finished reading just before 1.00am. Maybe my trading partner arranged it thinking my mind might not be clear as I read the latest missive.

Good Day,

we are sorry, for the delay of your contract inheritance payment worth of $10.5m USD and all the Inconveniences. The management of the bank with the instruction of the President and the new appointed ministers after yesterday meeting are to use this opportunity to inform you that we are very surprised to see that you have not received and confirmed your fund since it has been approved for payment to your account since early this new year 2014. Choose any of the following payment methods:

(1) ATM Card/Master Card
(2) Diplomatic Delivery (Cash Payment).
(3) Telegraphic wire transfers

Regards,
Mr Ben Sule.

How many more different ways are they going to try? Do they honestly think that 10.5m might just have slipped someone’s mind? Maybe I should ask for the cash payment.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       I worked on mail until 5.45 am and decided to try for another sleep. I’m hardly in a rush today. Oddly enough it was a struggle but I did drop off and only woke up again at  6.50 am. I went straight through to the kitchen to feed the fish. I even saw my lone(?) assassin and he looked bigger. I had some Ricicles and then brought my coffee through. More mail had mounted up but as some was personal it took a while to write responses and then add comments to a few blogs so it was almost 10.00 am when I had my first break from the chair. Despite it being a bank holiday, I still had to mop the kitchen floor. It doesn’t feel at all like a Monday. I got a text frrom Mike to say he’s home safely and will hopefully see me soon. I have my fingers crossed for this weekend.

I did a little more work then decided to knock off at 11.15 am. Something mind numbingly boring came on the goggle box but I was just using the noise for company. At midday I had one of the cottage pies I never wanted to see again then settled with an antiques programme for an hour before nodding off . When I finally roused it was back to seeing to any post and there was quite a bit of it. I stayed until 4.00 pm and returned to the box. I don’t know how I can cope with this social whirl. Being a bank holiday there were a few films about so I watched ‘Voyage of the Dawn Treader’ for a while then turned over for ‘National Treasure’. I don’t care for Nicholas Cage as an actor but the storyline was fun. Later I had ‘I Robot’ before coming through to finish the post and the blog. A fairly typical day a la Maison Prosser. Tomorrow will be spent with Yvonne and Reuben so the work will mount up during the day and there won’t be time for TV in the evening. Help !

Sleepy Boys.

Sleepy Boys.

Bedroom Tallboy

Bedroom Tallboy

Tuesday It was a 3.05 am day and no amount of cursing or pleading was going to change it. The computer hadn’t cooled down from earlier and loaded quickly when I turned it on. Looking at what was there I wished it hadn’t. Marriage was proposed, at least I assume it was as I’m fairly sure some of the things one woman proposed aren’t legal outside marriage in on small island of Antarctica and are illegal inside marriage in the rest of the known world. I blushed and hurriedly added another layer of clothing and a safety mask.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             The fish were looking very smug when I went through at 6.30 am to turn their light on and feed them. I wanted breakfast before going out , but they must think I was doing it for them.  I had a bowl of cereal then took a coffee back to the bedroom. Before hitting the mail again I decided to get dressed in something a little smarter and less bulky. I’d made a decision to go to Yvonne’s on an early bus today, at 7.40 am before school children came to the bus stop and while there weren’t many people about. I’d promised to text Yvonne when I was on the  bus knowing she’s expect me on a later bust to arrive at 9.30 or 10.00 am. I had my fingers crossed when I promised though. I left the house at 7.25 am and was at the bus stop just in time for the T1, the bus that goes  more convoluted route but gets there quicker. It’s usually just an hour. I was actually in Chester at 9.30 and on my way to the coffee house. I was honestly going to text her when I was sitting down and say ” Take your time, just let me know when and where you want to meet.” She beet me to it, panicking because she hadn’t heard from me and she ended up dashing even more. I took a slow stroll to where we were meeting, just ready for a wee and a refill of coffee.

We had a good old wander round Chester and stopped for lunch about midday. I had a baked spud with beans. A couple more shops and we started heading for home. I hadn’t been feeling too bright, and the shock of finding green salad stuff on my plate must have been responsible for what happened next. I bent over double with pain from an angina attack. It took my breath away and this time couldn’t be properly hidden. Anyway we eventually made it home and as Yvonne ttries to egt Reuben to have a nap I tried to do some emails whist watching Despicable Me II and fighting (unsuccessfully) the noddy bug that was hanging around the room. I’d nod off, wake up quickly and say something I thought would indicate I hadn’t been to sleep but was not related to anything at all. The emails were a beggar, I had 82 and got down to 14 which then shot up to 73 and by the time I got back tonight was at 107. Ugo got home about 6.15 pm and quickly changed before running me home with Yvonne and Reuben. He has one of my sprays in the car but I was OK. When we were close to home he pulled in front of the chippie and got out to order. I left to go and open the front door and get the kettle on. My diet was well satisfied by the sausage and chips with curry sauce that he got me. Yvonne was sticking to her diet and had nothing until she gets back home and has home made soup . She was dischuffed when Ugo had 2 chocolate puddings even though she made them, and even more dischuffed when it was time to go and I passed her the two tubs of Remy Martin brandy ice cream I bought her at the weekend….. The diet says NO, NO, NO.

They left at 8.00 am and I came through to attack the mail and this blog. I hope your day has been half as entertaining.

Wednesday. Another very early morning at 4.32 am so I thought I’d make enough noise to wake the birds on the roof, they do it to me when I have a lie in. Perhaps I should have felt sorry for them as it was raining quite fiercely. I turned the computer on and started work.                                                                                                                              There were quite a few personal emails today but there was plenty of time. One in particular grabbed my attention. A good friend suggested perhaps I  could ask you for a favorite song and I could put that on the blog for a change. That sounds quite a nice idea as we all get to learn a little more about each other. So, today’s song was suggested by my good friend S.J. Sprague, author of A presence in Russell County http://www.amazon.com/Presence-Russell-County-Organization-ebook/dp/B009QFC5GW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399449660&sr=8-1&keywords=sj+sprague and the next book in the series Mulberry.

A Presence in Russell County

A Presence in Russell County

 

Mulberry.

Mulberry.

Here is the song         

As usual I worked until about 7.30 then went to see to the fish and my own breakfast. I’d have given a lot for bacon and eggs instead of cereal. I took my coffee back to the bedroom to finish the first batch of mail then decided to shut my eyes for ten minutes in my chair. It was 9.15 when I shut my eyes and 10.15 when I  opened them again. Before refreshing the mail I decided to walk to Pauline’s to collect £8.10 I won on the Euro lottery and spend it straight away on a packet of baps, my TV mag and a BFG as Matt is here tonight and it was his birthday Monday just gone. I know I bought some new biscuits at the weekend for him but I don’t really know his tastes. I stocked up on ciggies while I was there. Back at home I worked up until lunchtime again and had a Shepherds’ Pie, well it’s a change. I watched a reasonable film on the TV then after lunch I put another one on and immediately zonked out. I’m sure the snoring must have ratted the windows I was so deeply gone. When I woke it was a different film altogether. I knew It was catch-up time with the mail again. I worked until 5.10 pm then watched a quiz until the visitors arrived. Matt was laughing at the BFG as I made drinks. Dil got the card table out and set the Scrabble board out. As we started I asked Matt for some of the BFG to eat during the long waits between goes. He and I had some but Dil didn’t bother.Within a few minutes Matt had opened the box of Fox’s biskwits and believe me it didn’t get shut again. It was like having an army on the march through the room. Only cos’ I was distracted Dil won the first match. I must have been distracted during the second one too. However, the game of Nomination was different and I put up just enough of a fight to scrape home. We must have taken longer playing tonight as we had to stop there so they could go home. Dil said he’s off next week and they maybe able to get here earlier.

It was the usual tidy up and washing of pots once they’d left me. I came through to 87 messages which has taken a long time. I’m done tonight and must finish this ice lolly and get to bed.

Thursday. Great News. Mike is coming late tonight , Bad News, he has to leave Saturday.

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5.10 am and I flung myself out of bed to catch the runaway horse. All I caught was the nail of my little toe on the chest beside my bed. Ouch multiplied. I bore the pain with grim determination and worked my way through the blue fog that had suddenly appeared in the room until I was out and on my way to the loo. After a piddling ten minutes I went back and turned the computer on. Hmm, quite a few again, you lot were busy last night. One of the first messages of the day,

My name is Danielle Huck the Senior Executive of SAVI CASH ACCESS London, United Kingdom. Mrs Margie swope an American citizen invested the sum of £430,000 (four hundred and thirty thousand British Pounds), she died January 2012 of cancer and her wish was to donate the invested funds to CHARITY. Your assistance is needed to help disburse these funds, please get back for more information. Regards Danielle Huck Managing Director SAVI CASH ACCESS.                              

I’m not sure if the reduced amount is supposed to make this more believable than the usual cons and they’re still trying to appeal to people’s greed. Well the latter bit was right anyway, given that figure I can’t guarantee after what I’ve already disposed of that the whole sum would go to charity unless you believe charity starts at home. I worked until 7.30 am, did the rounds and brought my coffee back. I spent until 9.40 am clearing the decks then went out…….Oh yes, I did dress first. I needed to get my lottery tickets done for tomorrow and get some extra milk in for Mike’s visit later. I also needed to nip to the chemist to see if they had any iodine. I was surprised that some staff didn’t even know what it is, but everyone knew they didn’t stock it. It seems not many chemists ( if any) do so at home again I bought some on ebay, making sure I didn’t buy from Thailand or the Ukraine. It’s actually coming from Stockport and I held myself back from asking if they’d send a few Titterton’s pies with it. Such willpower.

For lunch I had another shepherds pie knowing Mike wouldn’t eat it because it had carrots in. Instead I sacrificed my bacon and a black pudding if he says he’s hungry. However he has to find them first. I’d had a short nap when my phone went off and it was Lis asking if I was in. I told her I’d ask and lo and behold I was. She arrived about an hour later which was about 2.15 pm and I thoroughly enjoyed my hug. She should come at least twice a day. We chatted while I made coffee and she was telling me that she’s had  a chest infection which is really rare for her.How we both were became the subject of the conversation for the next few minutes and it was a case of ‘My antibiotics were bigger than yours’ until her phone pinged. It was a message from her daughter in law asking Lis to pick her grandson up from school. Our visit was cut short but I took some boxes to her car as a friend is moving and grovelled at her to post a letter for me.

Back inside I got stuck into the mail again to bring it up to date. It’s my Big Bang Theory night and also a double bill of Person of Interest. If possible I’d like to see both this week. At 5.15 pm I watched my quiz before Law and Order which I hadn’t seen before. Back here to get up to date again and I think it will be like that until midnight.

Mike arrived at 9.45 pm and we’ve been chatting about his trip. He had a great time and knowing it might upset me he’s kept the stories of his conquests of the fair sex to a minimum. So, it’s midnight and I’m able to come to bed.

Friday. I lied and so did he. The stories of his conquests came thick and fast. Casanova stood at the bedroom door so long it was gone 1.00 am before he left and nearly 2.00 am before I got to bed. Needless to say his stories didn’t make it easy for me to sleep though eventually I did. Dalmations if I didn’t wake at 5.13 am though. It was with reluctance I got up and went for a wee. When I got back I tried to go back to sleep but Mike was driving the sheep home in his room with a fanfare. A full troupe of Morris Dancers sticks a’clicking and bells a’jangling wouldn’t wake him. I gave up and turned the computer on. There was nothing major to deal with so I was on automatic pilot as I worked towards the 7.00 am break when I foolishly allowed myslef to look one of the fish in the eye. i had to listen to a list of grievances ranging from boring food, inadequate lighting at night ( none), to squatters who don’t pay rent ( striped snails). Eventually I managed to get away by shouting “Look over there” and running as they turned to follow my finger. I had some breakfast and took my coffee back to the post room.

Mike eventually got up and wished me Good Morning before asking “It is still morning is it?” I had to admit it was and wasn’t quite 9.30 am which for Mike, unaided is a bloody miracle. It only took 2 coffees to motivate him to move as well so we were out of the house by 10.15 am. We took a ride into Flint to do my shopping a day early with him leaving tomorrow. Then we went for a coffee and he got a great greeting from Ceri at Temptations where we had a drink. I think she’d missed his gentle teasing like someone misses migraine. It’s painful but at least you know your head’s still there. I managed to find a pair of trainers in the next shop to replace a pair I found the heel has come away on recently. Then we went to Farmfoods for ice lollies. I had to buy a BIG carrier bag there. We took the shopping home and put it away. I hadn’t bought flowers this week as the others seem to be doing well. They might even do better if I remember to apply fresh water tomorrow I suppose. I spent a few minutes doing some messages then suggested we went for lunch.

I think Mike was as excited as I was to be heading for The Ivy even though he said it was restless leg syndrome. He’d tell me anything. When we arrived I let him walk in first to give Tariq a surprise. It was actually me that got one. Obviously we both got a hug and Mike was questioned about the holiday, but Tariq passed me a package when I sat down.  It didn’t take me long to open it.

Pops and Reuben by Tariq

Pops and Reuben by Tariq

I was and am thrilled. Tariq broke off from speaking to Mike to ask if I really like it, as if there could be any doubt. “I just wanted to do something for you” he told me. I was overwhelmed. It’s about 12″ x 16″on canvas on a 1″ thick frame. The photographic studio is open now and any locals wanting a sitting need just go along. He’s a great photographer and puts you completely at ease. Mike and I ordered drinks and dinner. The coffee’s arrived first and I was enjoying mine which I put on the table as soon as I’d taken my before food tablet. A certain person who shall remain nameless was so jealous of my picture, nudges the table and sent my drink flying. Not his, or hers as the case may be, but mine. The floor had to be cleaned but the picture was safe. Shella came to say hello and I was able to thank her again. I still haven’t got over such kindness. The meals came and I moved to another part of the room to eat in case that was thrown at me too.

We had a great natter with them both before we left, me with my prize in a donated carrier bag made out of water(coffee) proof plastic. There were the hugs which I find so important before we were out the door and I’d given Mike the money for lunch today so he could argue for a change. Tariq has a way of sounding as though he’s being hard done by if he has to accept money. We drove home and the first order of the day was to hang the picture which we ( Mike ) did successfully and which prompted me to fill a frame I’d been given for my birthday and hang that too. The wall looks very different tonight.

I spent until 5.15 pm doing emails then watched a couple of quizzes with Mike before getting him to wash my hair and taking a shower. Another quick email session followed by another quiz. Can you guess we like them? A natter, a couple more programmes then I’m talking to myself again as he’s fallen asleep in the chair. I packed him and his restless leg off to bed and came through to work.                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The first music guest on my show is Laurie Smith of http://laurie27wsmith.wordpress.com  Laurie has a great and varied blog that welcomes visitors. His choice…………

and from me..  

Saturday. It wasn’t a great night. Not much sleep and when I did there were no dreams where I was undressing a delectable..No, stop torturing yourself like this. Concentrate on being a monk and being halibut. You’re mumble mumble years old, it can’t hurt. I finally got up at 5.50am and on my trip to the loo noticed Mike was spark out so I just got stuck into work. Knowing I wasn’t feeding the fish today I didn’t rush but when I heard a noise like the rutting of wild boars at 7.15 I went towards the lounge and there was Michael grunting half consciously as usual. I can’t understand why when we shop on a Saturday I have to fight to get him to leave his pit but when we have no need to rush he scares me by getting up unaided and then stops me from working. I put the kettle on , put the light on in the tank ( and saw both assassins), ignored the fish, took my tablets, made his coffee as the kettle boiled and had some Shreddies ( the cereal, not some underpants) for my breakfast.

At about 8.30 we were both dressed and raring to go. Neither of us could think of anywhere to go to though. In the end I asked for a quick trip to our local Tesco Supermarket to get some coffee pods and my baps. We did that and picked up a few things we didn’t need and left. Mike asked what I’d like to do next instead of making a decision himself so I responded that as long as it included a cuppa I didn’t mind. I get very dry. He suggested we go to Kassidy’s where we haven’t been for ages and I agreed provided I had chance to pick up some chocolates for them first. We wen’t to another Supermarket, Lidl where I got the chocs and w spent a while looking round. It only took two mins and we were back on track and sitting it Kassidy’s ready to order. Mike’s coffee came with a breakfast and oddly enough my pot of tea did too but since I’d already had breakfast this was a brunch. Mmmm bacon. It was nice to see Si again after so long.

We came out of Kassidy’s each asking the other what we should do next. In the end it was decided we’d pay a visit to Jackson’s the Garden Centre and Gift Shop where I’ve been lucky to get some fantastic gifts from in the past. With birthdays on the way I’m on the look out. We had a nice ride there as the sun was out and the rain had stopped. After a good look round interspersed with Michael disappearing for ‘tinkles’ we decided to fill up so he didn’t get dehydtated.  Mike went to the counter to oder and I left him to decide between a chocolate or a strawberry milk shake. He was having a banana one. He looked very smug on his return and when the drinks were delivered some time later I could see why. Since he hadn’t been able to make the decision for me, I now had a mixed chocolate and strawberry. It wasn’t actually too bad. I did enjoy making those disgusting sounds at the end when the straw hit the froth, and so did Mike, digusting child. We chose to go home after Jackson’s so Mike had time to relax before he had to go home. We both watched a bit of TV and both slept through the end of it. I helped carry his luggage to the car, after checking for silverware and then waved him off.

I spent two hours on messages then at 6.00 pm went through to watch an old Star Wars film then an episode of the Tomorrow People saga. I still haven’t fully made up my mind about that one. At 9.00 pm I cam through to get the mail up to day and the blog. I leave you with the last song of the week and some photographs. Don’t forget to let me know if you want your favourite song on. Hugs to all.

By the Ducks

By the Ducks

 

Happy as Larry

Happy as Larry

Clean Baby

Clean Baby

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Colour returns to my life.

OK. If you want to be pedantic, yes, yellow is a colour. But it’s not the colour I prefer and anyway Julia always says yellow makes me look ill which must be why all my yellow shirts disappeared when they went down for the wash. Anyhoo, as usual I procrastinate to fill as much space as possible. It’s a miracle. Had I not see it with my own eyes I’d have had trouble believing someone could change colour in the way Julia has. On Friday we went shopping and as we sat down for a coffee in the supermarket  ( one day they should open a cafe ) Yvonne said “You’ve got some lovely colour back to your cheeks Mum”. She was right too, Julia’s cheeks were back to normal and this time she couldn’t say it was because I’d slapped her either.( though I’m not sure where her either actually is).

My chest has been terrible recently and I’m afraid to let Ju know that it’s partly her rats, partly her degus and partly her cat Oscar who has taken up residence in my room and is actually sitting staring at me now as if to say “Get on with it Longlegs”. OK. OK. I have COPD and the brain of an idiot since I still smoke so I can’t blame the animals totally but the condition has steadily worsened since they came to live here. I only mention this because Yvonne with wedding plans up the yazoo still found time to tell Ju she should reconsider the animals. Bless her. On Thursday after scrabbling on the floor for runaways (my fault-again) we finally got the degu babies to the pet shop for sexing. Not that they needed much help since they seem to have been trying it out for themselves before I threw  a towel over the cage in case the vicar came. They were days over 4 weeks old. My prediction was two girls and three boys. I blanched when the girl came out and announced four girls and one boy. From the activity in the cage I’d say there were some confused females in there. Any way we arranged to leave the boy behind to be adopted. The girl then asked what we wanted to do about the girls and I panicked as I’d told Ju she could keep any females t keep Saffy company. In the end she chose to pass two girls to be adopted too, though we’re pretty sure a member of staff who was also looking for a female ( female degu that is) will take them. So now Saffy has just two babies left and she seems less harrassed. I can’t say the same for me though since Saffy rolls around in her big ball tapping  slamming into ankles and now there are two smaller balls rolling round at the same time. If I ever get bored I can go bowling. This is Saffy’s third ball. Number one she ate a small hole in and broke the joints where it holds together. Number two she ate a hole in big enough to escape through and this one which was only bought on Saturday she’s managed to chew through the majority of the pieces that the ends clip on to. Another day or so and the end won’t fasten and ball number four will be needed. I wish they made them from see-through steel.

Yesterday (Sunday) we took our wedding outfits to Yvonne’s ready for the big day. If she forgets to take them to the hotel they’re staying in Friday night  we’re in trouble. On Thursday we have the rehearsal, on Friday we’re booked at a spa where I’ll sit in the hot tub all day while the girls have terrible things done to them by the staff.

On Saturday, THE BIG DAY, Ju will drop me at the hotel as they go off for hairdo’s so I can change at leisure and practise my speech. Then I get to ride in a Soft top Rolls Royce to escort my beautiful daughter to get married.

But that’s a tale for another time.

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Strange days come, Strange days go.

It’s been a funny old day. Things started OK at the usual time. I got up about 5.00am and turned on the computer while I nipped to the loo. ( No, I didn’t take it with me).

Coming back through to the bedroom after venting Niagara, I started on my messages. There were 71 since just gone midnight. If I ever catch that little epostal God on his own………  Anyway, quite a few turned out to be duplicates from Gather. I usually answer the first one I come to and delete the others. I confess to not knowing whether that’s protocol or not. Maybe I’m meant to answer them in every group that posts them but that seems highly redundant. The others I ignore are those that get me steamed as it’s too early in the day to throw things at walls. If I disturbed Lady J’s beauty sleep she’d throw me at the odd wall.

About 6.30 I grab a sachet of cat food ( I get peckish about then) and take it through to the kitchen where he currently sleeps, stopping only on the way to offer milk drop to the rats and a yoghurt drop to the degu ( she’s much more up-market). Kettle filled and on ready to clean Oscar’s dishes it’s time to take a handful of cornflakes through to give then girls their first nibble of the day, just to save my fingers being their first meal later. Things are still going to plan at this point, so I wash Oscar’s dishes, empty the new sachet into one side and water to the other. Then I remember he need some olive oil for his coat. It already been pointed out to me that smearing him in it isn’t going to wwin mr prizes from Oscar, Lady J or Oscar’s Amazonian Transylvanian vet. Therefore I take a capsule of the damn stuff and pierce it with a knife tip. These are not soft gelatine capsules though, they’re armoured and have little warning notices sticking up from the surfaces saying Verbotten. Mmm, I don’t remember olive oil being this red before.

I slammed down the offending dishes and applied a plaster (bandaid) which immediately floated off as I belatedly washed my hands. “Oh Dearie me” said I, and promptly remembered that the rubbish collection day has changed to a Saturday. I apply a new plaster (bandaid) and take the bins, one refuse and one kitchen waste, plus one bag of newspapers, one of glass, one of plastic bottles and the tin can one outside ready for the men. Hands wash, plaster floats off, another oops and one more fresh plaster. Now it’s time for medications. What joy, two sprays, one anti biotic, 6 steroids and 8 other tablets and a partridge in a bloody pear tree. Then on with the kettle again because it’s my turn. One more tablet for 20 minutes before a meal so I pour out my coffee and check the time. Nearly 8.00am so I’ll risk an early death and get Julia up.She’s not a morning person these days so I pretend it is the right time and ask if she’s coming to get the girls out to play. I get a big smile and a nod and I’m safe. I put her a cup of tea out ready and nip back to the kitchen to put the toaster on.

Ah, a nice cup of coffee, a piece of cool toast and two final tablets as pudding.(Oh joy). Through to the lounge to sit beside my beloved . I swear there were two pieces of toast on the plate when I came in , oh and what’s that? Well, that is Amy foraging in my pocket for a packet of tissues. What a clean rat you say. Well actually these are for her doily making lessons while her sister Penny has run off with the other half of my toast. Not to be thought greedy I’m sure Amy will get a share when Penny’s finished licking the butter off it. They’re having half an hours fun and frollicks on the couch. I demolish what’s left of my toast and feeling a little guilty give the other two who are still in their cage a chocolate drop each. Julia in the meantime takes Saffy the degu out and places her inside a large plastic ball to roll around the floor hitting as many ankles as she can. And believe me she can. If she wasn’t such a sweetie we’d be a degu free zone by now. There’s no malice in her at all. She doesn’t bite and loves human interaction- hence the ankles I suppose. Penny is by now nudging me and being the subtle little thing she is, I bring my coffee cup over, ilt it slightly so she can drag at the lip and spill it on me before daintily dipping her hands in and bringing them to her mouth.

Almost 9.00 now so Julia is ready to put the girls back in the cage ready for the second crew, the youngsters. I nip to the kitchen to wash my plate now devoid of toast. Damn, another plaster.

In the UK we have a biscuit called a Wagon Wheel. Not the type of thing to get you very far in the Wild West but a nifty snack here. Having lost my toast I decided ‘Why not’? And took one through to enjoy with whatever coffee I’d been left. Bernie (Bernadette) and Priya are  out now and are having a mad half hour running back and forth. I’m a very generous person and still feeling a little guilty that I hadn’t shared my toast with them ( well not all of them and not willingly anyway) I decided to offer them a nibble on the edge of my Wagon Wheel. Bear in mind that these have a diameter of about 4 inches, have a biscuit base, a layer of marshmallow and jam (jelly U.S.) and are then coated in chocolate, they’re not the lightest biscuit in the world. Both girls step up to the plate and the next thing I see is Bernie, arms open wide gripping the biscuit, back legs pounding away in the opposite direction from my mouth. Believe me, with the speed of light my hand descended from above and relieved her of her load even as she took a flying leap to get behind a cushion with it. You could sense her disappointment. With  firm grip I offered it again and dejected they both had a little nibble and left me to it.

Playtime with the girls can be real fun though having Bernie nip inside your dressing gown and then rappel down the cliffs from shoulder to tummy using your skin and her claws as brakes can be hell on earth. Priya is much quieter and more gentle but is learning rapidly. They were returned to their cage ready to sleep during the day and Saffy was released from the ball and returned to her cage to carry on digging the escape tunnel. My mistake with her de-luxe home was to buy a metal cage with a plastic base. I forget the rodent teeth though I can see for myself the progress she’s making. Ju and I get dressed ready to go out since her brother is coming later and we’re picking him up from the bus station in town.

The pick up accomplished at 12.00 we decided to go for lunch. The special today was roast lamb dinners. Chatting away to the owner the waitress came to see what we wanted. I ordered the drinks than 3 roast dinners. Why? I don’t like lamb much and had been going to order a very healthy, diabetic conscious sausages, bacon, egg, ships and beans along with a reproving look from Julia. Instead I order lamb????? I’m not going to lie. It was well made and the meat was very tender. I grinned and bore it.

A visit to another nearby town for a quick shop and a latte and we were home again. I’d promised to do some photographs for my brother in law so came through to the computer and the next 87 messages while Ju put the kettle on ( didn’t suit her) and placed Saffy in her ball. Eventually 3 days later I was able to join them in the lounge and passed Terry the pictures. I noticed Saffy’s cage still open but no sound of her rolling around looking for ankles to wallop. Before I could ask I caught a glance out of the corner of my eye of this little nonchalant beastie  just strolling across the lounge floor not a care in the world. Somehow she’d managed to bang off, or unscrew ( I know which my money’s on) the end of the ball. Because she’s not intimidated by us at all she doesn’t run away but her little bottle brush tail just disappeared under the settee as Ju got down on the floor rustling a bag of yoghurt drops. “Look what mummy’s got for you” she said. “Prison” thought Saffy and carried on walking. Oscar had been lying on my chair arm up to this point and now took notice, He saw Saffy taking her constitutional and did what all brave pussies do, he went rigid with fear ( ever since Penny ran up his back leg) and shot out of the room. It took quarter of an hour to entice her out from under an armchair mainly because we all thought she was still under the settee.

At 5.00 we took Terry home and let the cast members settle down. When we got back at 6.00, Oscar was asleep on my bed, the furthest point from the lounge. Saffy was just widening the escape shaft in hut 18 and the girls were just starting to rouse themselves. Ju and I sat and watched an hour of Big Bang Theory and relaxed.

 

 

 

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