Tag Archives: Oscar

Serene Sunday & The Wanderer Returns

Sunday. I was up for a while in the dark  of the night but not ready to start work so after a couple of cigarettes I went back to bed. I slept until almost 7.00 am. When I did climb out of the pit it seemed so peaceful I couldn’t find it in me to rush.  After the traditional nip to the loo I worked on a few messages and then at 7.30 decided I’d have breakfast today. I had the last of the cornflakes and then conscious of our rules about food waste, put the crumbs from the bottom of the box in the bin. Tonight I could kick myself when I think the crumbs could have gone outside for the birds and maybe I’ d have caught some nice photographs. After feeding the fish ( what a humanitarian I am) I had my morning meds then took my coffee back to the bedroom and into battle. It seems bankers in Nigeria and Burkino Faso work Sunday’s too. So it seems does a fake talktalk team who say my account will be cut off within 48 hours unless I fill in some forms to get a new code to replace my password. Yeah right, I think I’ll risk it thanks.

When I next looked at the clock it was 10.05 am and I hadn’t even got dressed. Big decision time, should I bother? Yes, I should make the effort really. So today it was my Robin Hood impression, green jeans and a green hoody. The mail was finished by 11.00 am so I went through to the lounge and sat checking I had enough cards for this month’s birthdays. April and May are heavy months. A little later I took my pre-lunch tab and microwaved myself a roast beef dinner of which perhaps the nicest thing that could be said was, it was hot. I indulged myself in a small pudding afterwards then before settling down, washed the cutlery I’d used. Such heavy work. I couldn’t settle to anything on the TV but wanted a break from the computer. I could see smoke coming from somewhere near me and was afraid I’d fallen asleep smoking gain so I was frantically looking around until I realised the cigarette was in my mouth. I knew I must be tired so I put it out and fell asleep.

I moved between bedroom and lounge all afternoon, keeping up with the mail and looking for something to watch. There were little bursts of sunshine when an antiques programme came on but nothing special. I had some ham and coleslaw for tea with a couple of baps then finished off the strawberries and cream. I found a CSI NY to  watch and then decided to stay for the Star Gate film that I assume started it all, with Curt Russell. Have to say I preferred the chap who played the squad leader in the TV series. It was fairly entertaining but once it was over my patience with TV was done and I came back through to look at the mail again. I’ve been able to take my time with both mail and blog tonight which has been great.

Bank Holiday Monday. It’s 3.32 am. I swung my legs out of bed thinking “I’m not missing this” and hovered almost the full minute before the clock changed again. Yes, the room really is that small. If I counted as I walked from one end to the other I’d be there before I finished One. The width is even worse. Being a pedantic beggar, Oscar was not very happy when I used him to prove the old adage about there not being enough room to swing a cat, and I wasn’t even at the end of his tail. I never understood why that cat hated me so. As this is like a double Sunday I wasn’t too chuffed with the time  but there wasn’t much choice. I did feel cheated at the lack of sleep though since I’d only finished reading just before 1.00am. Maybe my trading partner arranged it thinking my mind might not be clear as I read the latest missive.

Good Day,

we are sorry, for the delay of your contract inheritance payment worth of $10.5m USD and all the Inconveniences. The management of the bank with the instruction of the President and the new appointed ministers after yesterday meeting are to use this opportunity to inform you that we are very surprised to see that you have not received and confirmed your fund since it has been approved for payment to your account since early this new year 2014. Choose any of the following payment methods:

(1) ATM Card/Master Card
(2) Diplomatic Delivery (Cash Payment).
(3) Telegraphic wire transfers

Regards,
Mr Ben Sule.

How many more different ways are they going to try? Do they honestly think that 10.5m might just have slipped someone’s mind? Maybe I should ask for the cash payment.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       I worked on mail until 5.45 am and decided to try for another sleep. I’m hardly in a rush today. Oddly enough it was a struggle but I did drop off and only woke up again at  6.50 am. I went straight through to the kitchen to feed the fish. I even saw my lone(?) assassin and he looked bigger. I had some Ricicles and then brought my coffee through. More mail had mounted up but as some was personal it took a while to write responses and then add comments to a few blogs so it was almost 10.00 am when I had my first break from the chair. Despite it being a bank holiday, I still had to mop the kitchen floor. It doesn’t feel at all like a Monday. I got a text frrom Mike to say he’s home safely and will hopefully see me soon. I have my fingers crossed for this weekend.

I did a little more work then decided to knock off at 11.15 am. Something mind numbingly boring came on the goggle box but I was just using the noise for company. At midday I had one of the cottage pies I never wanted to see again then settled with an antiques programme for an hour before nodding off . When I finally roused it was back to seeing to any post and there was quite a bit of it. I stayed until 4.00 pm and returned to the box. I don’t know how I can cope with this social whirl. Being a bank holiday there were a few films about so I watched ‘Voyage of the Dawn Treader’ for a while then turned over for ‘National Treasure’. I don’t care for Nicholas Cage as an actor but the storyline was fun. Later I had ‘I Robot’ before coming through to finish the post and the blog. A fairly typical day a la Maison Prosser. Tomorrow will be spent with Yvonne and Reuben so the work will mount up during the day and there won’t be time for TV in the evening. Help !

Sleepy Boys.

Sleepy Boys.

Bedroom Tallboy

Bedroom Tallboy

Tuesday It was a 3.05 am day and no amount of cursing or pleading was going to change it. The computer hadn’t cooled down from earlier and loaded quickly when I turned it on. Looking at what was there I wished it hadn’t. Marriage was proposed, at least I assume it was as I’m fairly sure some of the things one woman proposed aren’t legal outside marriage in on small island of Antarctica and are illegal inside marriage in the rest of the known world. I blushed and hurriedly added another layer of clothing and a safety mask.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             The fish were looking very smug when I went through at 6.30 am to turn their light on and feed them. I wanted breakfast before going out , but they must think I was doing it for them.  I had a bowl of cereal then took a coffee back to the bedroom. Before hitting the mail again I decided to get dressed in something a little smarter and less bulky. I’d made a decision to go to Yvonne’s on an early bus today, at 7.40 am before school children came to the bus stop and while there weren’t many people about. I’d promised to text Yvonne when I was on the  bus knowing she’s expect me on a later bust to arrive at 9.30 or 10.00 am. I had my fingers crossed when I promised though. I left the house at 7.25 am and was at the bus stop just in time for the T1, the bus that goes  more convoluted route but gets there quicker. It’s usually just an hour. I was actually in Chester at 9.30 and on my way to the coffee house. I was honestly going to text her when I was sitting down and say ” Take your time, just let me know when and where you want to meet.” She beet me to it, panicking because she hadn’t heard from me and she ended up dashing even more. I took a slow stroll to where we were meeting, just ready for a wee and a refill of coffee.

We had a good old wander round Chester and stopped for lunch about midday. I had a baked spud with beans. A couple more shops and we started heading for home. I hadn’t been feeling too bright, and the shock of finding green salad stuff on my plate must have been responsible for what happened next. I bent over double with pain from an angina attack. It took my breath away and this time couldn’t be properly hidden. Anyway we eventually made it home and as Yvonne ttries to egt Reuben to have a nap I tried to do some emails whist watching Despicable Me II and fighting (unsuccessfully) the noddy bug that was hanging around the room. I’d nod off, wake up quickly and say something I thought would indicate I hadn’t been to sleep but was not related to anything at all. The emails were a beggar, I had 82 and got down to 14 which then shot up to 73 and by the time I got back tonight was at 107. Ugo got home about 6.15 pm and quickly changed before running me home with Yvonne and Reuben. He has one of my sprays in the car but I was OK. When we were close to home he pulled in front of the chippie and got out to order. I left to go and open the front door and get the kettle on. My diet was well satisfied by the sausage and chips with curry sauce that he got me. Yvonne was sticking to her diet and had nothing until she gets back home and has home made soup . She was dischuffed when Ugo had 2 chocolate puddings even though she made them, and even more dischuffed when it was time to go and I passed her the two tubs of Remy Martin brandy ice cream I bought her at the weekend….. The diet says NO, NO, NO.

They left at 8.00 am and I came through to attack the mail and this blog. I hope your day has been half as entertaining.

Wednesday. Another very early morning at 4.32 am so I thought I’d make enough noise to wake the birds on the roof, they do it to me when I have a lie in. Perhaps I should have felt sorry for them as it was raining quite fiercely. I turned the computer on and started work.                                                                                                                              There were quite a few personal emails today but there was plenty of time. One in particular grabbed my attention. A good friend suggested perhaps I  could ask you for a favorite song and I could put that on the blog for a change. That sounds quite a nice idea as we all get to learn a little more about each other. So, today’s song was suggested by my good friend S.J. Sprague, author of A presence in Russell County http://www.amazon.com/Presence-Russell-County-Organization-ebook/dp/B009QFC5GW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399449660&sr=8-1&keywords=sj+sprague and the next book in the series Mulberry.

A Presence in Russell County

A Presence in Russell County

 

Mulberry.

Mulberry.

Here is the song         

As usual I worked until about 7.30 then went to see to the fish and my own breakfast. I’d have given a lot for bacon and eggs instead of cereal. I took my coffee back to the bedroom to finish the first batch of mail then decided to shut my eyes for ten minutes in my chair. It was 9.15 when I shut my eyes and 10.15 when I  opened them again. Before refreshing the mail I decided to walk to Pauline’s to collect £8.10 I won on the Euro lottery and spend it straight away on a packet of baps, my TV mag and a BFG as Matt is here tonight and it was his birthday Monday just gone. I know I bought some new biscuits at the weekend for him but I don’t really know his tastes. I stocked up on ciggies while I was there. Back at home I worked up until lunchtime again and had a Shepherds’ Pie, well it’s a change. I watched a reasonable film on the TV then after lunch I put another one on and immediately zonked out. I’m sure the snoring must have ratted the windows I was so deeply gone. When I woke it was a different film altogether. I knew It was catch-up time with the mail again. I worked until 5.10 pm then watched a quiz until the visitors arrived. Matt was laughing at the BFG as I made drinks. Dil got the card table out and set the Scrabble board out. As we started I asked Matt for some of the BFG to eat during the long waits between goes. He and I had some but Dil didn’t bother.Within a few minutes Matt had opened the box of Fox’s biskwits and believe me it didn’t get shut again. It was like having an army on the march through the room. Only cos’ I was distracted Dil won the first match. I must have been distracted during the second one too. However, the game of Nomination was different and I put up just enough of a fight to scrape home. We must have taken longer playing tonight as we had to stop there so they could go home. Dil said he’s off next week and they maybe able to get here earlier.

It was the usual tidy up and washing of pots once they’d left me. I came through to 87 messages which has taken a long time. I’m done tonight and must finish this ice lolly and get to bed.

Thursday. Great News. Mike is coming late tonight , Bad News, he has to leave Saturday.

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5.10 am and I flung myself out of bed to catch the runaway horse. All I caught was the nail of my little toe on the chest beside my bed. Ouch multiplied. I bore the pain with grim determination and worked my way through the blue fog that had suddenly appeared in the room until I was out and on my way to the loo. After a piddling ten minutes I went back and turned the computer on. Hmm, quite a few again, you lot were busy last night. One of the first messages of the day,

My name is Danielle Huck the Senior Executive of SAVI CASH ACCESS London, United Kingdom. Mrs Margie swope an American citizen invested the sum of £430,000 (four hundred and thirty thousand British Pounds), she died January 2012 of cancer and her wish was to donate the invested funds to CHARITY. Your assistance is needed to help disburse these funds, please get back for more information. Regards Danielle Huck Managing Director SAVI CASH ACCESS.                              

I’m not sure if the reduced amount is supposed to make this more believable than the usual cons and they’re still trying to appeal to people’s greed. Well the latter bit was right anyway, given that figure I can’t guarantee after what I’ve already disposed of that the whole sum would go to charity unless you believe charity starts at home. I worked until 7.30 am, did the rounds and brought my coffee back. I spent until 9.40 am clearing the decks then went out…….Oh yes, I did dress first. I needed to get my lottery tickets done for tomorrow and get some extra milk in for Mike’s visit later. I also needed to nip to the chemist to see if they had any iodine. I was surprised that some staff didn’t even know what it is, but everyone knew they didn’t stock it. It seems not many chemists ( if any) do so at home again I bought some on ebay, making sure I didn’t buy from Thailand or the Ukraine. It’s actually coming from Stockport and I held myself back from asking if they’d send a few Titterton’s pies with it. Such willpower.

For lunch I had another shepherds pie knowing Mike wouldn’t eat it because it had carrots in. Instead I sacrificed my bacon and a black pudding if he says he’s hungry. However he has to find them first. I’d had a short nap when my phone went off and it was Lis asking if I was in. I told her I’d ask and lo and behold I was. She arrived about an hour later which was about 2.15 pm and I thoroughly enjoyed my hug. She should come at least twice a day. We chatted while I made coffee and she was telling me that she’s had  a chest infection which is really rare for her.How we both were became the subject of the conversation for the next few minutes and it was a case of ‘My antibiotics were bigger than yours’ until her phone pinged. It was a message from her daughter in law asking Lis to pick her grandson up from school. Our visit was cut short but I took some boxes to her car as a friend is moving and grovelled at her to post a letter for me.

Back inside I got stuck into the mail again to bring it up to date. It’s my Big Bang Theory night and also a double bill of Person of Interest. If possible I’d like to see both this week. At 5.15 pm I watched my quiz before Law and Order which I hadn’t seen before. Back here to get up to date again and I think it will be like that until midnight.

Mike arrived at 9.45 pm and we’ve been chatting about his trip. He had a great time and knowing it might upset me he’s kept the stories of his conquests of the fair sex to a minimum. So, it’s midnight and I’m able to come to bed.

Friday. I lied and so did he. The stories of his conquests came thick and fast. Casanova stood at the bedroom door so long it was gone 1.00 am before he left and nearly 2.00 am before I got to bed. Needless to say his stories didn’t make it easy for me to sleep though eventually I did. Dalmations if I didn’t wake at 5.13 am though. It was with reluctance I got up and went for a wee. When I got back I tried to go back to sleep but Mike was driving the sheep home in his room with a fanfare. A full troupe of Morris Dancers sticks a’clicking and bells a’jangling wouldn’t wake him. I gave up and turned the computer on. There was nothing major to deal with so I was on automatic pilot as I worked towards the 7.00 am break when I foolishly allowed myslef to look one of the fish in the eye. i had to listen to a list of grievances ranging from boring food, inadequate lighting at night ( none), to squatters who don’t pay rent ( striped snails). Eventually I managed to get away by shouting “Look over there” and running as they turned to follow my finger. I had some breakfast and took my coffee back to the post room.

Mike eventually got up and wished me Good Morning before asking “It is still morning is it?” I had to admit it was and wasn’t quite 9.30 am which for Mike, unaided is a bloody miracle. It only took 2 coffees to motivate him to move as well so we were out of the house by 10.15 am. We took a ride into Flint to do my shopping a day early with him leaving tomorrow. Then we went for a coffee and he got a great greeting from Ceri at Temptations where we had a drink. I think she’d missed his gentle teasing like someone misses migraine. It’s painful but at least you know your head’s still there. I managed to find a pair of trainers in the next shop to replace a pair I found the heel has come away on recently. Then we went to Farmfoods for ice lollies. I had to buy a BIG carrier bag there. We took the shopping home and put it away. I hadn’t bought flowers this week as the others seem to be doing well. They might even do better if I remember to apply fresh water tomorrow I suppose. I spent a few minutes doing some messages then suggested we went for lunch.

I think Mike was as excited as I was to be heading for The Ivy even though he said it was restless leg syndrome. He’d tell me anything. When we arrived I let him walk in first to give Tariq a surprise. It was actually me that got one. Obviously we both got a hug and Mike was questioned about the holiday, but Tariq passed me a package when I sat down.  It didn’t take me long to open it.

Pops and Reuben by Tariq

Pops and Reuben by Tariq

I was and am thrilled. Tariq broke off from speaking to Mike to ask if I really like it, as if there could be any doubt. “I just wanted to do something for you” he told me. I was overwhelmed. It’s about 12″ x 16″on canvas on a 1″ thick frame. The photographic studio is open now and any locals wanting a sitting need just go along. He’s a great photographer and puts you completely at ease. Mike and I ordered drinks and dinner. The coffee’s arrived first and I was enjoying mine which I put on the table as soon as I’d taken my before food tablet. A certain person who shall remain nameless was so jealous of my picture, nudges the table and sent my drink flying. Not his, or hers as the case may be, but mine. The floor had to be cleaned but the picture was safe. Shella came to say hello and I was able to thank her again. I still haven’t got over such kindness. The meals came and I moved to another part of the room to eat in case that was thrown at me too.

We had a great natter with them both before we left, me with my prize in a donated carrier bag made out of water(coffee) proof plastic. There were the hugs which I find so important before we were out the door and I’d given Mike the money for lunch today so he could argue for a change. Tariq has a way of sounding as though he’s being hard done by if he has to accept money. We drove home and the first order of the day was to hang the picture which we ( Mike ) did successfully and which prompted me to fill a frame I’d been given for my birthday and hang that too. The wall looks very different tonight.

I spent until 5.15 pm doing emails then watched a couple of quizzes with Mike before getting him to wash my hair and taking a shower. Another quick email session followed by another quiz. Can you guess we like them? A natter, a couple more programmes then I’m talking to myself again as he’s fallen asleep in the chair. I packed him and his restless leg off to bed and came through to work.                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The first music guest on my show is Laurie Smith of http://laurie27wsmith.wordpress.com  Laurie has a great and varied blog that welcomes visitors. His choice…………

and from me..  

Saturday. It wasn’t a great night. Not much sleep and when I did there were no dreams where I was undressing a delectable..No, stop torturing yourself like this. Concentrate on being a monk and being halibut. You’re mumble mumble years old, it can’t hurt. I finally got up at 5.50am and on my trip to the loo noticed Mike was spark out so I just got stuck into work. Knowing I wasn’t feeding the fish today I didn’t rush but when I heard a noise like the rutting of wild boars at 7.15 I went towards the lounge and there was Michael grunting half consciously as usual. I can’t understand why when we shop on a Saturday I have to fight to get him to leave his pit but when we have no need to rush he scares me by getting up unaided and then stops me from working. I put the kettle on , put the light on in the tank ( and saw both assassins), ignored the fish, took my tablets, made his coffee as the kettle boiled and had some Shreddies ( the cereal, not some underpants) for my breakfast.

At about 8.30 we were both dressed and raring to go. Neither of us could think of anywhere to go to though. In the end I asked for a quick trip to our local Tesco Supermarket to get some coffee pods and my baps. We did that and picked up a few things we didn’t need and left. Mike asked what I’d like to do next instead of making a decision himself so I responded that as long as it included a cuppa I didn’t mind. I get very dry. He suggested we go to Kassidy’s where we haven’t been for ages and I agreed provided I had chance to pick up some chocolates for them first. We wen’t to another Supermarket, Lidl where I got the chocs and w spent a while looking round. It only took two mins and we were back on track and sitting it Kassidy’s ready to order. Mike’s coffee came with a breakfast and oddly enough my pot of tea did too but since I’d already had breakfast this was a brunch. Mmmm bacon. It was nice to see Si again after so long.

We came out of Kassidy’s each asking the other what we should do next. In the end it was decided we’d pay a visit to Jackson’s the Garden Centre and Gift Shop where I’ve been lucky to get some fantastic gifts from in the past. With birthdays on the way I’m on the look out. We had a nice ride there as the sun was out and the rain had stopped. After a good look round interspersed with Michael disappearing for ‘tinkles’ we decided to fill up so he didn’t get dehydtated.  Mike went to the counter to oder and I left him to decide between a chocolate or a strawberry milk shake. He was having a banana one. He looked very smug on his return and when the drinks were delivered some time later I could see why. Since he hadn’t been able to make the decision for me, I now had a mixed chocolate and strawberry. It wasn’t actually too bad. I did enjoy making those disgusting sounds at the end when the straw hit the froth, and so did Mike, digusting child. We chose to go home after Jackson’s so Mike had time to relax before he had to go home. We both watched a bit of TV and both slept through the end of it. I helped carry his luggage to the car, after checking for silverware and then waved him off.

I spent two hours on messages then at 6.00 pm went through to watch an old Star Wars film then an episode of the Tomorrow People saga. I still haven’t fully made up my mind about that one. At 9.00 pm I cam through to get the mail up to day and the blog. I leave you with the last song of the week and some photographs. Don’t forget to let me know if you want your favourite song on. Hugs to all.

By the Ducks

By the Ducks

 

Happy as Larry

Happy as Larry

Clean Baby

Clean Baby

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Colour returns to my life.

OK. If you want to be pedantic, yes, yellow is a colour. But it’s not the colour I prefer and anyway Julia always says yellow makes me look ill which must be why all my yellow shirts disappeared when they went down for the wash. Anyhoo, as usual I procrastinate to fill as much space as possible. It’s a miracle. Had I not see it with my own eyes I’d have had trouble believing someone could change colour in the way Julia has. On Friday we went shopping and as we sat down for a coffee in the supermarket  ( one day they should open a cafe ) Yvonne said “You’ve got some lovely colour back to your cheeks Mum”. She was right too, Julia’s cheeks were back to normal and this time she couldn’t say it was because I’d slapped her either.( though I’m not sure where her either actually is).

My chest has been terrible recently and I’m afraid to let Ju know that it’s partly her rats, partly her degus and partly her cat Oscar who has taken up residence in my room and is actually sitting staring at me now as if to say “Get on with it Longlegs”. OK. OK. I have COPD and the brain of an idiot since I still smoke so I can’t blame the animals totally but the condition has steadily worsened since they came to live here. I only mention this because Yvonne with wedding plans up the yazoo still found time to tell Ju she should reconsider the animals. Bless her. On Thursday after scrabbling on the floor for runaways (my fault-again) we finally got the degu babies to the pet shop for sexing. Not that they needed much help since they seem to have been trying it out for themselves before I threw  a towel over the cage in case the vicar came. They were days over 4 weeks old. My prediction was two girls and three boys. I blanched when the girl came out and announced four girls and one boy. From the activity in the cage I’d say there were some confused females in there. Any way we arranged to leave the boy behind to be adopted. The girl then asked what we wanted to do about the girls and I panicked as I’d told Ju she could keep any females t keep Saffy company. In the end she chose to pass two girls to be adopted too, though we’re pretty sure a member of staff who was also looking for a female ( female degu that is) will take them. So now Saffy has just two babies left and she seems less harrassed. I can’t say the same for me though since Saffy rolls around in her big ball tapping  slamming into ankles and now there are two smaller balls rolling round at the same time. If I ever get bored I can go bowling. This is Saffy’s third ball. Number one she ate a small hole in and broke the joints where it holds together. Number two she ate a hole in big enough to escape through and this one which was only bought on Saturday she’s managed to chew through the majority of the pieces that the ends clip on to. Another day or so and the end won’t fasten and ball number four will be needed. I wish they made them from see-through steel.

Yesterday (Sunday) we took our wedding outfits to Yvonne’s ready for the big day. If she forgets to take them to the hotel they’re staying in Friday night  we’re in trouble. On Thursday we have the rehearsal, on Friday we’re booked at a spa where I’ll sit in the hot tub all day while the girls have terrible things done to them by the staff.

On Saturday, THE BIG DAY, Ju will drop me at the hotel as they go off for hairdo’s so I can change at leisure and practise my speech. Then I get to ride in a Soft top Rolls Royce to escort my beautiful daughter to get married.

But that’s a tale for another time.

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Strange days come, Strange days go.

It’s been a funny old day. Things started OK at the usual time. I got up about 5.00am and turned on the computer while I nipped to the loo. ( No, I didn’t take it with me).

Coming back through to the bedroom after venting Niagara, I started on my messages. There were 71 since just gone midnight. If I ever catch that little epostal God on his own………  Anyway, quite a few turned out to be duplicates from Gather. I usually answer the first one I come to and delete the others. I confess to not knowing whether that’s protocol or not. Maybe I’m meant to answer them in every group that posts them but that seems highly redundant. The others I ignore are those that get me steamed as it’s too early in the day to throw things at walls. If I disturbed Lady J’s beauty sleep she’d throw me at the odd wall.

About 6.30 I grab a sachet of cat food ( I get peckish about then) and take it through to the kitchen where he currently sleeps, stopping only on the way to offer milk drop to the rats and a yoghurt drop to the degu ( she’s much more up-market). Kettle filled and on ready to clean Oscar’s dishes it’s time to take a handful of cornflakes through to give then girls their first nibble of the day, just to save my fingers being their first meal later. Things are still going to plan at this point, so I wash Oscar’s dishes, empty the new sachet into one side and water to the other. Then I remember he need some olive oil for his coat. It already been pointed out to me that smearing him in it isn’t going to wwin mr prizes from Oscar, Lady J or Oscar’s Amazonian Transylvanian vet. Therefore I take a capsule of the damn stuff and pierce it with a knife tip. These are not soft gelatine capsules though, they’re armoured and have little warning notices sticking up from the surfaces saying Verbotten. Mmm, I don’t remember olive oil being this red before.

I slammed down the offending dishes and applied a plaster (bandaid) which immediately floated off as I belatedly washed my hands. “Oh Dearie me” said I, and promptly remembered that the rubbish collection day has changed to a Saturday. I apply a new plaster (bandaid) and take the bins, one refuse and one kitchen waste, plus one bag of newspapers, one of glass, one of plastic bottles and the tin can one outside ready for the men. Hands wash, plaster floats off, another oops and one more fresh plaster. Now it’s time for medications. What joy, two sprays, one anti biotic, 6 steroids and 8 other tablets and a partridge in a bloody pear tree. Then on with the kettle again because it’s my turn. One more tablet for 20 minutes before a meal so I pour out my coffee and check the time. Nearly 8.00am so I’ll risk an early death and get Julia up.She’s not a morning person these days so I pretend it is the right time and ask if she’s coming to get the girls out to play. I get a big smile and a nod and I’m safe. I put her a cup of tea out ready and nip back to the kitchen to put the toaster on.

Ah, a nice cup of coffee, a piece of cool toast and two final tablets as pudding.(Oh joy). Through to the lounge to sit beside my beloved . I swear there were two pieces of toast on the plate when I came in , oh and what’s that? Well, that is Amy foraging in my pocket for a packet of tissues. What a clean rat you say. Well actually these are for her doily making lessons while her sister Penny has run off with the other half of my toast. Not to be thought greedy I’m sure Amy will get a share when Penny’s finished licking the butter off it. They’re having half an hours fun and frollicks on the couch. I demolish what’s left of my toast and feeling a little guilty give the other two who are still in their cage a chocolate drop each. Julia in the meantime takes Saffy the degu out and places her inside a large plastic ball to roll around the floor hitting as many ankles as she can. And believe me she can. If she wasn’t such a sweetie we’d be a degu free zone by now. There’s no malice in her at all. She doesn’t bite and loves human interaction- hence the ankles I suppose. Penny is by now nudging me and being the subtle little thing she is, I bring my coffee cup over, ilt it slightly so she can drag at the lip and spill it on me before daintily dipping her hands in and bringing them to her mouth.

Almost 9.00 now so Julia is ready to put the girls back in the cage ready for the second crew, the youngsters. I nip to the kitchen to wash my plate now devoid of toast. Damn, another plaster.

In the UK we have a biscuit called a Wagon Wheel. Not the type of thing to get you very far in the Wild West but a nifty snack here. Having lost my toast I decided ‘Why not’? And took one through to enjoy with whatever coffee I’d been left. Bernie (Bernadette) and Priya are  out now and are having a mad half hour running back and forth. I’m a very generous person and still feeling a little guilty that I hadn’t shared my toast with them ( well not all of them and not willingly anyway) I decided to offer them a nibble on the edge of my Wagon Wheel. Bear in mind that these have a diameter of about 4 inches, have a biscuit base, a layer of marshmallow and jam (jelly U.S.) and are then coated in chocolate, they’re not the lightest biscuit in the world. Both girls step up to the plate and the next thing I see is Bernie, arms open wide gripping the biscuit, back legs pounding away in the opposite direction from my mouth. Believe me, with the speed of light my hand descended from above and relieved her of her load even as she took a flying leap to get behind a cushion with it. You could sense her disappointment. With  firm grip I offered it again and dejected they both had a little nibble and left me to it.

Playtime with the girls can be real fun though having Bernie nip inside your dressing gown and then rappel down the cliffs from shoulder to tummy using your skin and her claws as brakes can be hell on earth. Priya is much quieter and more gentle but is learning rapidly. They were returned to their cage ready to sleep during the day and Saffy was released from the ball and returned to her cage to carry on digging the escape tunnel. My mistake with her de-luxe home was to buy a metal cage with a plastic base. I forget the rodent teeth though I can see for myself the progress she’s making. Ju and I get dressed ready to go out since her brother is coming later and we’re picking him up from the bus station in town.

The pick up accomplished at 12.00 we decided to go for lunch. The special today was roast lamb dinners. Chatting away to the owner the waitress came to see what we wanted. I ordered the drinks than 3 roast dinners. Why? I don’t like lamb much and had been going to order a very healthy, diabetic conscious sausages, bacon, egg, ships and beans along with a reproving look from Julia. Instead I order lamb????? I’m not going to lie. It was well made and the meat was very tender. I grinned and bore it.

A visit to another nearby town for a quick shop and a latte and we were home again. I’d promised to do some photographs for my brother in law so came through to the computer and the next 87 messages while Ju put the kettle on ( didn’t suit her) and placed Saffy in her ball. Eventually 3 days later I was able to join them in the lounge and passed Terry the pictures. I noticed Saffy’s cage still open but no sound of her rolling around looking for ankles to wallop. Before I could ask I caught a glance out of the corner of my eye of this little nonchalant beastie  just strolling across the lounge floor not a care in the world. Somehow she’d managed to bang off, or unscrew ( I know which my money’s on) the end of the ball. Because she’s not intimidated by us at all she doesn’t run away but her little bottle brush tail just disappeared under the settee as Ju got down on the floor rustling a bag of yoghurt drops. “Look what mummy’s got for you” she said. “Prison” thought Saffy and carried on walking. Oscar had been lying on my chair arm up to this point and now took notice, He saw Saffy taking her constitutional and did what all brave pussies do, he went rigid with fear ( ever since Penny ran up his back leg) and shot out of the room. It took quarter of an hour to entice her out from under an armchair mainly because we all thought she was still under the settee.

At 5.00 we took Terry home and let the cast members settle down. When we got back at 6.00, Oscar was asleep on my bed, the furthest point from the lounge. Saffy was just widening the escape shaft in hut 18 and the girls were just starting to rouse themselves. Ju and I sat and watched an hour of Big Bang Theory and relaxed.

 

 

 

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