The Agony with no ecstacy

It has been a hard few weeks since Julia was formally diagnosed with cancer. My daughter and I, family and friends have all had to endure hearing that they can’t operate to remove the tumour because it has grown round some major blood vessels in the pancreas. We’ve seen Julia in pain and watched as her doses of morphine have increase every few days as her body has adjusted to the current dose. There have been slow release tablets, liquid morphine. tablets you place under the tongue and currently patches like those worn by smokers trying to quit. She still has to take the liquid morphine and the doses and frequency have increased.

But here we are on August 23 rd. The day the chemotherapy starts. Everyone hoping for a miracle, no-one knowing what’s going to happen.

On Sept 8th Julia will have a keyhole operation by a great surgeon who will cut the nerves to the part of the pancreas where the tumour lies….or lay at the last scans. That should help with the pain but is dependant on the cancer not having grown since the last scans or not growing any further now. If it does happen then there will be pain from the new growth area. This operation is irreversible and scares me. If there is no longer any feeling there, how will we know if anything happens there again assuming the chemo manages to shrink the tumour now?


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8 responses to “The Agony with no ecstacy

  1. Oh David and Juila my heart goes out to you both ,I was hoping the scans would not find cancer but thank god for modernday technology. I have never met you personally just through the internet but the humour helpfullness and stoicisim you have both shown has trully impressed me .
    I sincerely hope all goes well on the 8th and that the chemo therapy does its job .
    Big Hugs from me


  2. Oh David – the hard times you guys are having that are so NON-deserving. My heart breaks for you and your family, but I’ve vowed to stand strong with all of you from across the pond. Sending tons of love, (((hugs))), flowers, and chocolate. ~Janet~

  3. My dear David (GL to me),
    Words cannot express how much I wish I could make it all go away for you and Ju. The two of you will continue to have all my thoughts and prayers and my emails too… and mom’s as well since she seems to have developed a friendship with Ju. I know We’re accross the world but on google Earth it’s just a little ways, I can walk it with my fingers… right? It’s a small world and it seems you have many dear friends in it. I’m very proud to call myself one of them, even if I’m one of the more odd ones..hmmm?
    Give Ju a gentle hug for me then Oscar a careful scratch. ;-P

    big hugs,

  4. Piroska

    I keep you in my prayers everyday…I can do no more, I can do no less. Giving it to a higher source to help carry any burden is the best way to help get through a difficult time. Sending love, hope, prayers and positive thoughts to you both ❤

  5. My father has prostate and my mother has just been diagnosed with throat cancer. My thoughts are with you.

    • I realsie this sounds like one-upmanship of the worst kind in a game of poker but I lost my parents to skin cancer and cancer of the throat so my thoughts are with you too Johnny and I’m grateful that there have been so many improvements and advances since then for your parents.

  6. David, we’ve only ‘met’ informally through Janet Beasley, but my heart goes out to you. I remember all too clearly last December when my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had already metastasized to the liver. The uncertainties, the unknowns, the fears…. Your world feels like it is spinning out of control with the brakes on. A definite contradiction. Yet, the rest of the world goes on…. You and your family are in my prayers.

    • Thanks so much Rosie. We don’t know if Ju’s liver is affected yet. There’s something there but too small to tell. This new op she had on Thursday to cut the nerves by the pancreas may stop her feeling the pain caused by the tumour growing round the major blood vessels, we don’t know yet as the hospital where they did the op discharged her yesterday totally dehydrated and very sick. She was back in our own hospital last night on drips again. Poor lamb is in distress as half her veins have collapsed from constant usage and it’s now hard to get a line in.
      I have a lot of hope that things will be better from now on. I pray that things are doing well for your husband and that all of you are feeling positive. My very best wishes go out to all of you along with Hugs.
      David. xxx

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