Am I magnetic?

I was unwell. 2.15am and I decided the coughing was keeping me awake so I  wandered through to the kitchen for some cough medicine. I kept the lights off in order to avid disturbing anyone. By anyone I mean Julia of course since I would be unwell and injured should I disturb her sleep. I could see Oscar asleep on the bed and hoped he would stay there rather than follow me in the hopes of food. Passing from the hall into the lounge I heard a sound and in the limited light I saw Penny leave her place on the bottom of the cage and as if by magic she appeared stuck to the bars of the cage, legs spreadeagled  and staring at me. A little further into the room and  ‘Zoom’ stuck to the front of the cage was Bernie. I ignored them as best I could and entered the kitchen.

Medicine taken and hopefully preparing to do it’s job of settling my chest and allowing me to get some sleep. I left the kitchen. As I entered the lounge again I saw Amy fly across the cage and attach herself to the bars too. The speed of flight of these rats is tremendous, and wherever I moved their eyes went with me. I know the song well and have often heard it in the daytime hours. It goes. “Feed me, feed me and feed me to the tune of  PJ Proby’s ‘Hold Me’. I crept over to the cage and gave them each a small chocolate button. All three took it with no problem and dropped to the floor of the cage to eat it. I left the room and went back to bed. Surely I’d  sleep now?

I must have dozed off but it can’t have been for long as it was now 3.10am and I awoke to another coughing fit. More cough medicine was required. I went through to get it when the same thing happened. It was like I was magnetic and as soon as I Crossed the threshold it happened again .Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Three bodies spread themselves in an orderly fashion on the bars with Bernie constantly chattering, food, food,food. Three chocolate drops later I took my medicine and retired yet again. It was to no avail and so I ended up writing emails instead, trying very hard to avoid the appeals of the latest psychic who knows just what my life needs if only I’ll stop ignoring her, get in touch for my free reading and then start to enjoy some of the riches coming my way. Lady, if they’re coming my way I’ll just wait for them to arrive and it will be a pleasant surprise unspoiled by your predictions and the ridiculous fees you no doubt want. Anyway, the writing made me thirsty and knowing I wasn’t going to sleep again I decided coffee was the order of the day. I crept along the passage to the lounge and sidled round the corner toward the kitchen door. As quiet as the proverbial mouse except within the hearing of rats. The magnet was on and three faces appealed to me to end their starvation. Hard nosed I ignored them and went to make the drink. As I came out from the kitchen, the mug with the mug, there the poor souls still were, exactly where I’d left them. I had no choice since I couldn’t leave them like that. I turned and grabbed a handful of cornflakes from the kitchen and spent ten minutes feeding them to whichever face got there first. You are a greedy mare Penny and Bernie is copying every move you make.


So now you know.All this talk of magnetic personalities is true. Mine is one of them. But. for heavens sake don’t tell the RSPCA or they’ll take the girls away thinking I mistreat them dragging them to the side of the cage like that.




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18 responses to “Am I magnetic?

  1. All I can say is that if you exhibit such overt signs of animal magnetism be sure that Lady J keeps her equine friends at a safe distance. A late night trip through the house could be a far more dangerous thing if it wasn’t just the tiny girls flying towards you…. 😉
    If you are delivering delicious morsels with every trip I can’t see you getting better any time soon, those greedy little beings will be praying fervently for your continuing ill health!
    Hope you feel better soon 🙂

    • I think I’m safe there Metan since the equine friends don’t come indoors overnight ( much to Lady J’s disappointment) and since I sneeze, I don’t approach too near during the day. My biggest worry is Oscar. What if he flies through the air at me because he has no bars to stop him? I can just imagine his grip now.

      • I expected that the equines are more of an outdoor pet, I was just worried about what might happen when something of that size smacks into the windows as you are walking past! Oscar on the other hand will leave deep furrows in the walls as he is irresistibly drawn towards you. Maybe you need to start wearing a heavier gauge dressing gown….

  2. I’m having visions of Daud’s magnetism at work outside – badgers, squirrels, rabbits, foxes, horses, cats, dogs, ferrets….all following along behind him in hopes of cadging a treat. He will need pockets as big as saddle bags. People will stop and stare, pointing their mobile phone cameras at the Pied Piper of Barsetshire 😉 [hmmm…not such a bad marketing strategy that one].

    In the meantime stop coughing and go see the doctor! Yes I know that over the counter cough medicine tastes yummy but it’s time for some not so yummy pills.

    – big hugs-

    • Nag, nag , nag, and no I don’t mean horses. I have got new antibiotics and more steroids. If I grow boobs I’m blaming you !
      Zo far it seems the powers of darkness are at work only, during ze day I repulse everything animal and ze people. Do you suggest I bathe more often?

  3. But you should have known — His Lordship’s animal magnetism is the talk of the British Isles!

  4. I shall take to wearing armour at night.

  5. Ain’t that the tooth.The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

  6. This post me me smile 🙂 xxx Huge Hugs xxx

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