Monthly Archives: June 2012

Penny and the Day of Reason.

I thought for a change I might introduce a part of my other website to this one since many people here won’t have seen the other side of me and may  not have met Oscar the unelected alarm cat from my books who has his own blog. By the time they finish this, they may be glad of that fact. Oddly enough the blog post I’m going to share was not written by Oscar even though it appears on his blog. It was written by Amy the de-facto leader of the rats who sometimes nips in and writes when Oscar’s not looking.

So, here you are, I hope you enjoy it. If not,  blame the Rats not me !

Penny and the Day of Reason   http://lorddavidspage.weebly.com   Oscar’s Blog 27.06.2012

The humans ( whom that daft cat calls Longlegs) went out quite early this morning. It’s possible they had something on their minds since it seems they forgot to feed Oscar before they left. We could hear him bemoaning the fact for a long time. It doesn’t matter quite as much for us since the houses we have inside the cage are edible and we can go longer without liquid refreshment than a camel. Two minor points here I should mention, don’t expect your rats to exist on anything but edible houses any more than you’d like to exist on a diet of nothing but potatoes, and, don’t think because we can do without liquids that you shouldn’t offer us a cup of tea when you have one. I enjoy one anyway.

Oscar’s moaning was getting beyond a joke so when he wandered close enough I called him.
“What d’you want Rat” ? he asked.
“Now now pussycat” I replied, ” just wanted to know if you need help.”
“I’m hungry” he said, “what can you do about that”?
“Well, remind youn that the housekeeper Grizelda will be here in an hour” I said.
“But I’m hungry now Amy and I can’t open the packets myself” he whinged.
“I think we can help then” I told him, “but you’ll need to open the cage door since the catch is on the outside.”
“I can do that” he responded “but can I trust you, and what would you want in return”?
“You can if you behave, and how about peace between us.” was my answer.

Oscar undid the catch on the door at the bottom end of the cage. Since it was a simple hook it didn’t tax his brain too much. The door being open it was but a short jump to the floor. I told Priya and Bernie to stay and guard the cage and took Penny with me. This concordat may have been reached with Oscar but I wasn’t sure he could overcome his base instincts and Penny was my watchdog. As Penny hit the floor Oscar reached out a paw and clamped it on her back. “And you Rat had better behave or there’ll be trouble.
I was ready to pounce and tell Oscar this wasn’t a good idea when Oscar removed his paw and started walking away. “Follow me rats” he said.

I heard Penny mutter something about payment and the Pied Paper but didn’t quite catch it. We followed the cat. It was a short distance to the room where his dishes were.
Once there Oscar pointed out a box full of foil sachets. “I need one of those” he told us
“and I prefer the ones that are the colour of apples.”
I jumped up onto the small table where the box was and checked inside. Oscar wasn’t much help since there was a red beef one and a green rabbit one inside. With a 50% chance of being right I pulled out a beef one. “Is this it” I asked.
“Yes, that’s it, like an apple as I told you.” he said.
I dropped the sachet to the floor in front of Penny and asked her to open it which she did with ease using her teeth to cut away the top. I picked it up and held it over Oscar’s dish where it slid out easily. He moved towards the dish without a word and started eating. Penny moved forward and nipped Oscar’s tail.

Oscar leapt a foot in the air and almost choked on his food. “Why?” he spluttered.
I looked at Penny for an explanation, “Yes why?” I asked,” I thought this was a day of reason.”
“It is ” said Penny, ” and the reasons were he put his paw on me and he didn’t say thank you for opening the food.”
As we walked back to the cage leaving a bemused cat behind us, I decided maybe I should re-evaluate my opinion of Penny.
We shall have to see if the agreement between Oscar and I stands.

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Perception and Joy

It has long been my belief that in most cases people have a perception of the people they talk to on the internet as being the people they are in reality. I have to say that it’s not usually true as we all have a public persona and very often a private one too. I can verify that to my cost I’ve found that the two persons can be very different.

Today Julia, Yvonne and I met someone I’ve ( we’ve) been speaking to on the internet for quite a long time. In all tht time I’ve found her sweet, charming and very thoughtful. She’s also delightfully young and though some people may disapprove of a friendship between a young girl and someone my age, it’s strange what writers of all ages have in common. And yes she’s a writer, a very good writer with one book under her belt at the age of 17.  http://www.amazon.com/Antiserum-Part-I-Patricia-Carrigan/dp/1426948263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1340551442&sr=1-1&keywords=patricia+carrigan

Anyway, back to the plot. Young Patti lives in California and under normal circumstances we’d never get to meet. Huh, in all honesty I’d never expect a youngster to want to meet but fate lent a hand. Patti was accepted to represent her State as a ‘People to People Student Ambassador’. As such she’s visiting the four Countries of the UK on a whistlestop tour. She asked if we could all meet and here we were today with the chance of half an hour together. This was history ! How often do internet penpals get to meet in real life? So Julia and I got in the car this morning and headed for the City of Chester wondering what kind of  a person we’d be meeting, how different from the persona we knew. I expect she was wondering the same and as young as she was and in a strange Country ( It’s England that’s strange not Wales of course) may have worried that she’s be stuck with some awful people until her coach left.

Arriving in Chester we parked up, collected Yvonne and headed for the City centre. We knew the route Patti would be taking and started off from point ‘B’ to point ‘A’ hoping to intercept her on the way. We reached point ‘A’ just as she texted to say she was waiting at point ‘B’ for us. That meant she had given up on the guided tour of the historic remains to get there. Round we turned and went back. The place of meeting is a very old house now an information centre and cafe. There is a large yard to the front. As we reached it Patti was at the far side waiting by the gate. She saw Julia enter and dashed over to hug her and then me ( Yes, I know I should have been first but she’s quicker than me).

What followed was a delightful half hour in which it was proved that some people are the same on and off the net. They really are that nice. I will say that it there was an Olympic event for talking she’d have been a contender but in fairness my chauvinism tells me she’s young, she’s female and perhaps she only had half an hour to get it all in. Patti is a lovely, honest and genuine person and it’s a privilege to know her and call her our friend. Having spoken to her mother and to her ‘evil’ twin I can see the whole family is like that. Maybe my perceptions will have to undergo a sea change and I should start to believe that people are after all as they portray themselves rather than Patti being the exception that proves the rule.

As well as making her family very proud of the way she represents them her State should be equally as proud that she’s letting the world see the kind of young people they produce. For anyone interested in her (brilliant) book, I should add that Patti donates half her royalties to a burns unit. Not many authors can claim that.

Compassionate authors giving back. Join. MAKE A DIFFERENCE http://rabmad.com

 

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Resiliance and Fakery

There comes  a time when the wind blows strongly enough and long enough that the bent tree will break. I think I’m all but at that point this morning. Julia has been suffering a little over the last few days but has been determined that she’ll carry on without the chemotherapy tablets so that hteir side effects won’t prevent her reaching and enjoying the wedding standing on her own two feet.  She’s an amazing woman my wife.

I’d been thinking (maudlin fool) about the list of casualties I’ve suffered to this evil disease. My mother died after a  mole on her leg became cancerous. my father had cancer of the larynx. My sister died of a rare blood cancer. Now Julia with this terrible pancreatic cancer. When it couldn’t get any worse it did. A message from my  nephew’s wife tells me he has pre-cancerous cells in his throat and a suspicious mass in his chest. He will be going for MRI scans early this month. Life is notoriously unfair as David has a young family.

I have a friend of many years who is suffering from breast cancer which has also resulted in heart problems . Since she already has MS I would have thought life had loaded as much as it could onto her but no, recently I’m told another nasty side effect manifested itself. And this is a woman who’s chosen to work all through everything thrown at her.

If ever there was a time to curl up, this is it. But I found I’m quite resiliant and couldn’t offer help to any of them if I did curl up. What a temptation it is though.

While there is no comparison in the way I feel about this news and the next incident, it still leaves me depressed. A friend whom I worked closely with on exposing frauds in our midst emailed me some links to the worst of the ones we exposed who seem to be doing quite well thanks to youtube self-promotion videos. We had the pleasure in the past of putting some bad frauds out of business in the ‘Fake Title selling’ game and warning people not to buy from them. There’s always a degree of satisfaction in that. But two have always stood out for me. One who was involved in the selling of fake titles but who was careful not to be named herself, and the other just a parasite who lies to gain the confidence of people so as to be invited to events.

Number 1 is called ‘Princess’ Karen Cantrell. I add the Princess in inverted commas because she has now changed her name by deed poll to include that. Most people will think it a title but it isn’t. And that’s despite the fact that she used to call herself Princess before the name change. She has gone from calling herself a Princess of Aquitaine and being involved in selling titles to there and also to Livonia and another obscure country. From there she joined forces with a man who decided to declare himself the King of Man ( The Isle of Man) by creating a foolish pedigree for himself. She was awarded the Title Countess of Man and called herself that for a while. Quite a demotion for a Princess. She also created a fake order ‘The Well of St. Maughold’ in order to sell more titles to the unsuspecting.

Now on the latest self promoting link she calls herself Her Highness and is supposedly a member of the elite of the so called Ghassanid Kingdom which hasn’t existed for centuries. She has so many fake titles and fake orders it’s a surprise she can stand. Worse still, she has at least one membership to an order which is real but which I’m sure would be rescinded if they knew her history.  http://youtu.be/S9H0nkXln5s

Number 2 is perhaps for me the worst. She calls herself Lady Grania Mountbatten and has  various fan sites on Facebook ans well as her own sites in which she exclaims her parentage and her historical line as well as links to the current Royal Family with links back to Charlemagne. This woman is a parasite who likes to be invited to your functions which she graces with her presence.

Grania is supposedly the daughter of Lady Iris Mountbatten and her first husband Captain Hamilton O’Malley. Now the only problem with this scenario is that they didn’t have children together. And, if they had, there would have been no titles since their father was a commoner. The children would have been called O’Malley.

Both partners married again and Hamilton O’Malley and his wife had children, one of whom was called Grania.  It seems at least she gets half her parentage right but chooses to insult her real mother by ignoring her. Grania also claims to be Queen of Germany  and Baroness Burrishole, the latter entitling her to a seat in the House of Lords. Since Irish Baronies aren’t entitled to sit in the British House she’s still not getting her facts right. There are other things she gets wrong too but for me the biggest insult is her claim to be related to the late Lord Mountbatten murdered by the IRA some years ago. She dishonours a good name and a proud family as well as duping all those who believe her wild claims.

http://courtoftheroyalhouseofmountbatten.webs.com/ladygraniaspedigree.htm      http://courtoftheroyalhouseofmountbatten.webs.com/apps/profile/65738476/

I hope you don’t get drawn into the web of deceit woven by  this poisonous pair.

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Introducing Oscar and the Girls.

Many of you will have heard me mention Oscar, my unwelcome alarm cat who ( according to him) is the star of my books.  Recently Julia’s interest also turned to rats and quite a few of you must know about them too.  What you may not know is that Oscar has had his own blog for some time in order to share his adventures with his legion of fans. The girls have also managed a couple of short blogs when Oscar’s attention has been elsewhere. Some would say Oscar is scared of the girls but having already felt the damage his claws can do, you won’t find me saying it. ( At least not where it can ever be proved). Just at the moment there seems to be a very uneasy truce between them and since I don’t have to referee a truce I wondered if some of you might like to meet Oscar.

Therefore I’m going to post some of his last blog with a link so you can finish it off if you wish. I’ll do the same for the girls as I certainly don’t want to get on their bad side. If you enjoy it, it would be great if you left a comment to let me know since some say Oscar deserves his own book.

Night time Adventures.             

The heat from above has been shining down for a few days. It’s actually made me quite sleepy. ( I refuse to say a little dozy since I know the Longlegs sense of sarcasm works well on remarks like this). It was my feeling a little sleepy that got me into a mess, well that and the terrible mistake My ‘The Him’ made for which judgement will be rendered.

So, the heat made me sleepy and I curled up inside a flower bed to relax. Before My ‘The Him’ went to his sleeping place he closed and locked the clearway. He had not noticed me ( or so he said), had not called me ( as he thought I was in) and didn’t bother to check. You can understand my decision to play Solomon here can’t you.
It started to get darker and cooler causing me to think I should go back inside and settle down on My ‘The Hers’ sleeping place and spend the dark time guarding her as I usually did. But on rousing myself and moving over to the clearway I found it closed. I called out but to no avail. I walked round the building to see if a small clearway was open but I found none. There was light from My ‘The Hers’ room but it seems she could not hear me sing either. I’m reluctant to try at His clearway since he throws things at the slightest sound. You really wouldn’t believe he doesn’t recognise my voice after all these years.

The woods lie very close to home and some very inviting rustling sounds stirred memories of my great hunting days when I was wont to leave my Longlegs superb gifts every day. Surely I had lost none of my skills and I needed to occupy my time before returning home to find the clearway open again.

From Oscar’s Blog   http://lorddavidspage.weebly.com

 

Introducing the Family..   

Hello again every one. In case you’ve forgotten my name is Amy and I’m leader of the Rat Pack. After having been a little unhappy over the name the humans refer to groups of my kind, I’ve decided that Rat Pack sounds quite cool and compared to some sounds quite reasonable. After all I wouldn’t want to be part of a ‘Murder of Crows'( and believe me that’s quite fair because their sound can be murder on the ears). A ‘Dissimulation of Birds’ doesn’t sound all there does it? How about a ‘Chatter of Budgerigars’ that one’s true enough, a ‘Clowder of Cats’ that one means nothing unless Clowder means nasty, a ‘School of Dolphins’ makes them sound intelligent, a ‘Skulk of Foxes’ Hmmm, reasonable that one, a ‘Mischief of Mice’ and sometimes people refer to us that way as well. But in the end I think Rat Pack will suit me very well thank you.

Sometimes settling into a new home is difficult but there have been no major problems here after teaching the humans ( a Pack?) that my teeth are quite sharp if they try to handle me and sometimes just when they stick their fingers through the bars. After all, if you stick fingers in to offer treats we have to bite, you mustn’t be surprised to be bitten if you stick them in treatless and expect us to notice.
Anyway, I want to introduce the family. Obviously there’s me and like most of my kind I’m very intelligent and very underestimated. But there are exceptions to every rule I suppose so here’s Penny. She’s my sister and I love her dearly but she’s not the brightest jewel in the box. Fortunately she’s playful and very affectionate so the humans don’t notice.

From Oscar’s Blog 31.05.2012  http://lorddavidspage.weebly.com

I hope you enjoy the extracts enough to want to return to the blog on a regular basis. He has quite an archive if you want to go back to his previous work. Enjoy.xx

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