Shock and disaster

For some time I have been telling you about the cancer within the family. My wife has pancreatic cancer and the prognosis is poor though she seems to be holding things at bay at the moment. My nephew was recently diagnosed with cancer of the larynx and had a worrying lump in his chest. The chest lump turns out to be thickened tissue which is a relief  but the throat is more of a problem. He’s lost his voice almost totally but the hospital say that the cancer is currently not aggressive. Because of that they want to hold treatment until it starts being aggressive and becomes a problem as they can only treat the area once with radiation. If they do it now and it fails with the cancer then becoming aggressive, they’ll have no treatment to use. I don’t understand how there can only be one treatment.

My ‘brother’ is a friend I’ve known for 35 years. We have always been close and the news some time ago that his daughter in law had a form of leukemia was devastating. I haven’t mentioned her because she was finally given the all clear this year after a bone marrow transplant. She was doing well apart from a few minor blips when her temperature soared and she had to be admitted to hospital to bring them down. She was i hospital just over a week ago but released next day and my brother was able to come home for a long weekend. We saw him on Saturday and he was his usual cheerful self. On Monday he travelled to Manchester to visit his elderly (but sprightly) father before finally going back to his son’s yesterday. Today she was again readmitted with a high temperature.  We had a shock call from Michael a short while ago to say she’d passed away. Kirsty leaves behind many people who love her and will miss her for the beautiful natured person she was. Hardest hit of all will be her husband and two young children who will find this hard to come to terms with. My heart goes out to them all.


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40 responses to “Shock and disaster

  1. Oh! David. I am soooooooooooo sorry for you and yours. What a tragedy. tears and hugs.

  2. Thanks Niamh. I know it’s part of life and I should rejoice that I knew her but all I can think about is ‘Those poor children’. Life is so unfair sometimes when someone my age survives someone young enough to be my daughter. I hope you’re well and things are looking up for you. Someone nice deserves a bit of good luck.

  3. David, my heart and prayers go out to you and all of her family. May you all find comfort and joy in the morning.

  4. Thank you Normandie. As kind as ever. I hope you get to sail and find a fair wind in your sails.

  5. I am sorry David. Nothing I can say will truly help right now and I know that. Just know that my thoughts are with you and Ju. Our family has been touched by the dreaded C word so many times that I feel your pain in my own small way. I’m sending the biggest, warmest hugs I have 🙂

    much love,

  6. Oh David I am so sorry. I just don’t have words. I’m sending you so many hugs. My thoughts are with all of you.

  7. I will be thinking of you and your family, and sending you many hugs. That is awful news.

  8. I am so sorry for the death of that poor woman, and I am praying and sending prayers for comfort and healing for everyone suffering. Such a tragedy. I hate cancer.

  9. Wow. That’s awful. I’m sending you and yours well wishes and good thoughts. Cancer is a horrible thing. It sure doesn’t discriminate, does it? Thinking of you all!

    • Thank you Kimberly. Your best wishes are appreciated. Yes, cancer is horrible and seems to wriggle in unwanted wherever it can without any logic. Every day I hope for news of a new cure. Sometimes it’s just too late.

  10. Painful. Will ask God to give you and your family all the strength in the world to bear the loss! 😦 Hugs!

  11. clicking like seems inappropriate but just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you your friends and family at this terrible time

  12. Food Stories

    Oh my gosh … I don’t even know what to say … Thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  13. David,
    So sorry to hear of your loss… You and yours are in our thoughts
    All the best from

  14. Oh David I’m so sorry. I really don’t know what to say. My prayers are with you.

  15. I have been terribly sorry to hear about the passing of Michael’s daughter. I have only heard about it today, from Julia. Few things can be more tragic than the sudden death of such a young mother and a wonderful person. My condolences to the whole family.

  16. dadblunders


    The loss of a loved one is devastating on a family. I would like to offer my condolences and I will keep them in my prayers.

    I know the children will miss their mother without doubt and it will be a very trying time in the coming months. I am sure that her spirit will stay alive through them and she will always soar high because of the love they shared.

    I almost didn’t click the like on your post. I finally decided to click the like button out of respect and remembrance.


    • Thank you Aaron. You’re right about losing a loved one, it’s simply devastating and though it does take a long time you learn to live with it.No doubt the children will always keep her in their hearts, I know everyone else who ever met Kirsty will. And the children will have their Dad Anton for strength and to remind them of how special their Mum was. Thank you for your good wishes and I appreciate you clicking the ‘like’ button as I know what a difficult choice it is sometimes.
      I very much enjoy your blogs about Xander and the new experiences for both of you. May you go from strength to strength together.

  17. One of my greatest fears has always been that I might become terminally ill/die while my children were young and unable to care for themselves. Thankfully, health prevails thus far but news of this nature drives home the fact that we can’t count on tomorrow so had better make the best of today.

    Please pass along my condolences to Michael and family. I pray God will be with them in this, their greatest hour of need.

    My thoughts are with your family as well, not only as you mourn the death of a friend but as you struggle with the cancer prevailing in your own family.

  18. Thank you Norma. Yes. life is very unpredictable and downright unfair sometimes but we don’t always have choices. I’ll gladly pass on your condolences to Michael and I very much appreciate your kindness to us as well.You’re very kind. Hugs

  19. Owen

    Hi David, do you think this has anything to do with Chernobyl, the cloud from which passed over north wales, didn’t it?

    • I hadn’t given it any thought till now Owen though I know it did pass over Llanddulas and area. But too many imponderables like a lifetime’s smoking habit for instance. i haven’t heard of any higher than usual incidences of Chernobyl causing cancer related problems here but maybe I should check. Incidentally, are you a Southid or a Gog as they call us?

      • Owen

        Hi David,

        I’m from Barry, but I have lived with my Thai wife in her remote village in north-eastern Thailand (Province of Uttaradit) for eight years.

        I took to writing late too because there was nothing else to do up here except watch the rice grow and it stretches as far as the eye can see.

        I love it, though I do get cabin fever after six-nine months and have to go to a ‘big city’ for a week, but within that week, I want to come back.

        Just can’t win, eh 🙂

        All the best,

      • My father came from Ystrad Mynach in the Rhymney but I’ve never lived in South Wales.Truth to tell I’ve never even visited though it’s an ambition. I can imagine watching rice grow may just produce a little tedium from time to time so breaking out for the big time must be pleasure. I can’t tolerate being away from this village for long either but until recently I couldn’t tolerate leaving the house much either. Writing must be a natural progression for us after creating a life inside our heads to compensate for the rice growing and it’s Welsh equivalent.
        I’m sure you must still feel Hiraeth so I send you greetings from home.

      • Owen

        Thanks for the greeting from Wales, David.
        I do miss Wales sometimes, I haven’t been there for six years, although we are hoping to go in September, if I can get Neem (my wife) a visa.
        Barry is not the sort of place you’d miss though.

        People have been asking me for eight years how I can live in a village where no one except my wife and me speak English (and my wife’s command of English is far (50%?) lower than it was through lack of practice)? My Thai is poor too, although I try.

        I have always replied that you have to learn to live in your head. Most people did/do not understand, but you just said the same! You are the only other person that I have heard use that expression, ‘though I don’t meet many people.

        i think that you must be right: after years of living in one’s head, you have to break out or reach out in another way and for us that was writing.

        Nice to meet you.

        Now back to promotion.


  20. My deepest condolence for the loss, David.Prayerfully.

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