Strange days come, Strange days go.

It’s been a funny old day. Things started OK at the usual time. I got up about 5.00am and turned on the computer while I nipped to the loo. ( No, I didn’t take it with me).

Coming back through to the bedroom after venting Niagara, I started on my messages. There were 71 since just gone midnight. If I ever catch that little epostal God on his own………  Anyway, quite a few turned out to be duplicates from Gather. I usually answer the first one I come to and delete the others. I confess to not knowing whether that’s protocol or not. Maybe I’m meant to answer them in every group that posts them but that seems highly redundant. The others I ignore are those that get me steamed as it’s too early in the day to throw things at walls. If I disturbed Lady J’s beauty sleep she’d throw me at the odd wall.

About 6.30 I grab a sachet of cat food ( I get peckish about then) and take it through to the kitchen where he currently sleeps, stopping only on the way to offer milk drop to the rats and a yoghurt drop to the degu ( she’s much more up-market). Kettle filled and on ready to clean Oscar’s dishes it’s time to take a handful of cornflakes through to give then girls their first nibble of the day, just to save my fingers being their first meal later. Things are still going to plan at this point, so I wash Oscar’s dishes, empty the new sachet into one side and water to the other. Then I remember he need some olive oil for his coat. It already been pointed out to me that smearing him in it isn’t going to wwin mr prizes from Oscar, Lady J or Oscar’s Amazonian Transylvanian vet. Therefore I take a capsule of the damn stuff and pierce it with a knife tip. These are not soft gelatine capsules though, they’re armoured and have little warning notices sticking up from the surfaces saying Verbotten. Mmm, I don’t remember olive oil being this red before.

I slammed down the offending dishes and applied a plaster (bandaid) which immediately floated off as I belatedly washed my hands. “Oh Dearie me” said I, and promptly remembered that the rubbish collection day has changed to a Saturday. I apply a new plaster (bandaid) and take the bins, one refuse and one kitchen waste, plus one bag of newspapers, one of glass, one of plastic bottles and the tin can one outside ready for the men. Hands wash, plaster floats off, another oops and one more fresh plaster. Now it’s time for medications. What joy, two sprays, one anti biotic, 6 steroids and 8 other tablets and a partridge in a bloody pear tree. Then on with the kettle again because it’s my turn. One more tablet for 20 minutes before a meal so I pour out my coffee and check the time. Nearly 8.00am so I’ll risk an early death and get Julia up.She’s not a morning person these days so I pretend it is the right time and ask if she’s coming to get the girls out to play. I get a big smile and a nod and I’m safe. I put her a cup of tea out ready and nip back to the kitchen to put the toaster on.

Ah, a nice cup of coffee, a piece of cool toast and two final tablets as pudding.(Oh joy). Through to the lounge to sit beside my beloved . I swear there were two pieces of toast on the plate when I came in , oh and what’s that? Well, that is Amy foraging in my pocket for a packet of tissues. What a clean rat you say. Well actually these are for her doily making lessons while her sister Penny has run off with the other half of my toast. Not to be thought greedy I’m sure Amy will get a share when Penny’s finished licking the butter off it. They’re having half an hours fun and frollicks on the couch. I demolish what’s left of my toast and feeling a little guilty give the other two who are still in their cage a chocolate drop each. Julia in the meantime takes Saffy the degu out and places her inside a large plastic ball to roll around the floor hitting as many ankles as she can. And believe me she can. If she wasn’t such a sweetie we’d be a degu free zone by now. There’s no malice in her at all. She doesn’t bite and loves human interaction- hence the ankles I suppose. Penny is by now nudging me and being the subtle little thing she is, I bring my coffee cup over, ilt it slightly so she can drag at the lip and spill it on me before daintily dipping her hands in and bringing them to her mouth.

Almost 9.00 now so Julia is ready to put the girls back in the cage ready for the second crew, the youngsters. I nip to the kitchen to wash my plate now devoid of toast. Damn, another plaster.

In the UK we have a biscuit called a Wagon Wheel. Not the type of thing to get you very far in the Wild West but a nifty snack here. Having lost my toast I decided ‘Why not’? And took one through to enjoy with whatever coffee I’d been left. Bernie (Bernadette) and Priya are  out now and are having a mad half hour running back and forth. I’m a very generous person and still feeling a little guilty that I hadn’t shared my toast with them ( well not all of them and not willingly anyway) I decided to offer them a nibble on the edge of my Wagon Wheel. Bear in mind that these have a diameter of about 4 inches, have a biscuit base, a layer of marshmallow and jam (jelly U.S.) and are then coated in chocolate, they’re not the lightest biscuit in the world. Both girls step up to the plate and the next thing I see is Bernie, arms open wide gripping the biscuit, back legs pounding away in the opposite direction from my mouth. Believe me, with the speed of light my hand descended from above and relieved her of her load even as she took a flying leap to get behind a cushion with it. You could sense her disappointment. With  firm grip I offered it again and dejected they both had a little nibble and left me to it.

Playtime with the girls can be real fun though having Bernie nip inside your dressing gown and then rappel down the cliffs from shoulder to tummy using your skin and her claws as brakes can be hell on earth. Priya is much quieter and more gentle but is learning rapidly. They were returned to their cage ready to sleep during the day and Saffy was released from the ball and returned to her cage to carry on digging the escape tunnel. My mistake with her de-luxe home was to buy a metal cage with a plastic base. I forget the rodent teeth though I can see for myself the progress she’s making. Ju and I get dressed ready to go out since her brother is coming later and we’re picking him up from the bus station in town.

The pick up accomplished at 12.00 we decided to go for lunch. The special today was roast lamb dinners. Chatting away to the owner the waitress came to see what we wanted. I ordered the drinks than 3 roast dinners. Why? I don’t like lamb much and had been going to order a very healthy, diabetic conscious sausages, bacon, egg, ships and beans along with a reproving look from Julia. Instead I order lamb????? I’m not going to lie. It was well made and the meat was very tender. I grinned and bore it.

A visit to another nearby town for a quick shop and a latte and we were home again. I’d promised to do some photographs for my brother in law so came through to the computer and the next 87 messages while Ju put the kettle on ( didn’t suit her) and placed Saffy in her ball. Eventually 3 days later I was able to join them in the lounge and passed Terry the pictures. I noticed Saffy’s cage still open but no sound of her rolling around looking for ankles to wallop. Before I could ask I caught a glance out of the corner of my eye of this little nonchalant beastie  just strolling across the lounge floor not a care in the world. Somehow she’d managed to bang off, or unscrew ( I know which my money’s on) the end of the ball. Because she’s not intimidated by us at all she doesn’t run away but her little bottle brush tail just disappeared under the settee as Ju got down on the floor rustling a bag of yoghurt drops. “Look what mummy’s got for you” she said. “Prison” thought Saffy and carried on walking. Oscar had been lying on my chair arm up to this point and now took notice, He saw Saffy taking her constitutional and did what all brave pussies do, he went rigid with fear ( ever since Penny ran up his back leg) and shot out of the room. It took quarter of an hour to entice her out from under an armchair mainly because we all thought she was still under the settee.

At 5.00 we took Terry home and let the cast members settle down. When we got back at 6.00, Oscar was asleep on my bed, the furthest point from the lounge. Saffy was just widening the escape shaft in hut 18 and the girls were just starting to rouse themselves. Ju and I sat and watched an hour of Big Bang Theory and relaxed.





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26 responses to “Strange days come, Strange days go.

  1. Sounds like a long day, too! Glad you survived…

  2. Ah Daud this is the funniest update you’ve done in a while!!!! I’ve been sitting here, chuckling and laughing the whole way through. What a lovely way to start a dreary Sunday morning. [mine, not yours!]


  3. dadblunders

    I am so glad I am not the only one that starts there day so early and finds so much humor! I have often wondered if it the act of getting up early that allows one to see clearer and more humor in their daily events.

    I try to eat heart smart most of the time. i would much rather have the sausage, eggs and bacon (yummy.) I thing God made them taste so good as a way to balance how bad they are for us. He knew they would be bad for us so lets make them taste even better. It is the equivalent of the forbidden apple. One bite and we could be expelled from life. I definitly see the humor in that….its not fair that something that tastes that good should be that bad for us…..sigh


    • I think finding humour is down to who you are Aaron, some people get up grouchy and then stay that way without breaking a smile. Of course because I like my kneecaps I mention no names. I also have to eat heart smart and diabetes smart but once in a blue moon ( we get a lot of those in Wales) I have to taste bacon. Of course I’m convinced eggs must be good for us so I discount those.
      Sunday mornings should actually be the Official day for Bacon and fried egg Sandwiches as that would carry us through the week but neither the Church nor greetings card manufacturers seem as convinced for some reason.

      • dadblunders


        I hadn’t even considered trying to make Sunday the official day for bacon and eggs. I wonder if any of the churches have ever been petitioned on this idea? It might actually help them to increase congregation sizes. It could ultimately be a good thing for all involved. They save souls and we get a day with bacon and eggs. It could be a winning combination (much like the Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s in the United States)

        As far as the greeting card companies go, all we have to do is convince local politicians to set aside one day of the week as “Remember bacon and eggs day.” If we work hard enough I am sure we can globalize it within weeks. Once it globalized the greeting card companies will have no choice but to follow suit and offer a card for that special day of the week! It is a winning idea for all involved! 🙂


      • For heavens sake Aaron, lets have a bit of hush. We’re in on the ground floor and you’re giving the marketing ideas away already.Firstly we need to create a Brand New Church which is based on the idea of our Bacon/Egg Brekkie and carries the best of all religious principles. There must be an alternative to pork bacon of course so we can be all-inclusive and of couurse you and I hold all the in-house catering rights. Secondly we have to nip out ( yes that’s it, get Xander’s shoes on too) and buy shares in a greeting card firm. Get Xander to draw pictures of bacon and eggs for the first designs. I may never have to work again! Oh yes, that’s right, I don’t actually work now do I ?

  4. Sounds like a rather eventful day to not even have left the house. Some days are better than others.

  5. Food Stories

    Absolutely hilarious … so glad you told us what a plaster was or I would have never figured it out … happy Sunday 🙂

    • Thanks so much. I’m trying very hard to remember that I’m not writing for just a Brit market now. So plasters+bandaids, braces+suspenders and my waistcoats + vests. Then my wife’s purse is a wallet and her handbag is a purse and don’t get me started on cars………. Anything I don’t explain properly, I have a low fee translation service. LOL.

      • Australian and Brit are almost interchangeable! I would park my car near the gutter and get my handbag out of the boot. I walk up the footpath to the shopping centre to buy some jam for my sandwiches and a biscuit to dunk in my tea. 🙂

      • Sometimes it’s as though I’m speaking a different language to the ‘Cousins’ ha ha. Though I remember one of our comedians returning from ‘Oz’ with a few words where we hadn’t quite joined all the dots.If I remember rightly you have either a brand of or the generic name for condoms that’s the name for a brand of sticky tape here in the UK. It was funny thinking of the reactions after going into a chemist ( Sorry U.S. -Drugstore) and asking for a roll of ************ to do a parcel.

      • 🙂 and if an Australian man told you he was wearing suspenders it would be because he was confessing his cross dressing tendencies! Suspenders are what a woman wears to hold up her stockings.

      • Quick lessons for the U.S
        Car Bonnet – Hood
        Car Boot – Trunk
        Jam – Jelly
        Jelly – Jello
        Waistcoat – Vest
        Vest – Slip ?( men’s undershirt)
        Braces – Suspenders
        Suspenders – Advice above….

      • And they drive on the wrong side too! 😉

  6. Nice to see Wagon Wheels are delicious in the UK too and quite frankly I am pleased to hear you consider it breakfast food, despite the fact it is wildly inappropriate.

    • Ah. Metan. You eat what you can get for breakfast when you feed the last of the cornflakes to the ‘Girls’. In fact you only buy the cornflakes for the ‘Girls’.
      My excuse is that after I lost my toast I thought something like that would make less mess. Am I sounding convincing yet just in case any little ears are tuned in?

  7. It’s great to read your wonderful humor…it NEVER disappoints. 🙂 Sending tons of ❤ (((huggers))) and chocolates for everyone!!! xoxo

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