Rhyme and Reason?

In my post on April  11th I mentioned how difficult I’ve been finding it to locate certain things.  I was starting to wonder if Ju was sending me a message. For instance, when we cleared the garage , Yvonne, Ugo and I created piles for me, the Hospice Charity shops and for Muriel/John ( hereinafter called MuJo). When MuJo came I took them round to the garage, we’d found literally boxes of Ju’s horse figurines and I wanted her to have her choice. I’d put some watercolour paintings to one side for John as I know he likes them, but could they be found? Not a cat in hell’s chance. Either they’d evaporated or some wild rats have discerning taste in nest decor.

Whenever Christmas rolled around Ju would clear the decks to make way for the decorations. My collections on display would disappear and I’d be told they’d be back when the decorations were packed away. That never seemed to happen just as last years tree never seemed to re-appear. The loft ( please God I don’t have to clear that out ) must be full of Christmas trees and collections of old inkwells etc. But, the thing that had most puzzled me was Julia’s laptop bag. It and it’s contents had faded into thin air. I’d torn clumps of hair from my rapidly receding widow’s peak trying to find them. I tried to follow Ju’s logic as to where it would be since it wasn’t actually with the laptop which naturally enough was tucked down beside the settee. OK, I had to admit defeat as women’s logic was always beyond me.  But in wanting to give things to the family to remember Ju I have a niece who crafts and that bag contained lots of crafting DVD’s.

On Thursday when Yvonne was with me I’d gone to the pantry and a flash of yellow had caught my eye. I visit the pantry multiple times daily for the accoutrements to cooking or to deposit rubbish in the bin and before Thursday- Nada, but there it was, the flash of yellow. Reaching through the accumulated brushes, ancient hoovers, pan stands and a lightbulb collection that would do a lighthouse justice, I grasped the object in question and out came the upside down laptop bag complete with the DVD’s I wanted. Checking through there was no sign of the also missing tablet bought some months ago. Back to the pantry I went and soon had it in hand. I’m not sure if it still works, or how it works and will have to rely on my nephew’s expertise. He’ll tell me if it’s a toy I need or whether someone else can use it better. The DVD’s will now be able to go to a good home too. But PLEASE someone, explain to me the logic behind having a laptop bag, upside down in a pantry of all places and why it chose to reveal itself at that moment. At some stage I may have to explain to someone why I didn’t decide to look in there purposely as they wearily tap their feet and say, “Huh, s’obvious innit?”.


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33 responses to “Rhyme and Reason?

  1. Julia continues to keep you on your toes. 🙂

  2. it sounds like a bit of a joke on you, doesn’t it?

  3. For a few years I constantly railed at my mom for dying. I also stormed the heavens to get her to do miracles for me. Nothing. At one point she said, “Figure it out yourself.” My daughter was getting married and my grand daughters did not get their dresses tailored. It was the last minute and I had to hem them. The sewing machine needle broke. I had not used that machine in years. I went to the ironing area hoping to find the iron on basting tape to hem the dresses.There was none. As I turned to leave, on a bookcase top that I walked past several times a day, was a green box full of sewing machine accessories including many needles. I KNOW my mom put it there. (Or, at least, directed my eyes to it.)

    Your reminders of Julia are a blessing. Even if they tick you off.

    • Honestly they don’t tick me off Virginia. They puzzle me and confuse me but ultimately entertain me. I’m sure she’s even more entertained herself by my looking for things though in all the wrong places according to her brand of logic.
      XXXX Huge Hugs xx

  4. I have the tendency to put stuff in odd places too. I don’t mean to, I just get caught up in the “tidying up” and the logistical nightmare caused by moving this-back-to-there and that-over-to-this-pile. Sometimes I try out new “storage spaces” then I forget where I put them when the owner comes looking for the item. Usually, this is an experiment on another family member’s stuff, in a frustrated attempt to keep the stuff off my floor. So I understand this post totally both from your point and hers! It was just a move-and-mix moment, and she either was trying out a new space, or used the bag to move something in there and forgot to take it out again, or had it in her hand and something caught her eye and she dropped it, thinking to pick it up again later. I would love to videotape the actual amount of item moving one does in a day, it must be staggering!

    • You just gave me a moment or to of deja vu Lorene. Ju had little periods of mass tidying up too and would clear the coffee table of things she thought shouldn’t be there ( perhaps they shouldn’t). The thing is, when you noticed it/them missing, she’d never have any idea what she’d done with them.I used to say I didn’t mind my things being moved if only she’d tell me at the time and say where she’d put them. The coffee table has three drawers. Two for Ju and one for me, so logic dictates I’d go to mine first to find the note with the telephone number I needed desperately. Useless exercise, her feminine logic defied me time and again, mind you, it defied her too.
      Huge Hugs xxxx

  5. lol – Lady J set up an exercise regime for you David! I’m sure I read somewhere that searching for things burns lots of calories. 😀

  6. I bet Julia was having a real laugh while you looked in all the logical places for the bag!
    I have absolutely no idea why she would keep it in the pantry, but I can easily see it swept up in a big clean one day, she couldn’t be bothered putting it where it should be and just finding a convenient spot for it where she was. Not that I do anything like that of course… not at all… 😉

    • Oh I totally believe you ( not). Of course she was laughing at me failing the Husband Exam she set me. How I ever passed the 11+ I’ll never know unless it was with male examiners.
      Massive Hugs Metan. xxxx

  7. Hi, David,
    On a different note, it is not uncommon at all for the loved one who has been left to carry on (you!) to lose or misplace things constantly for months after the loved one’s passing. This happened to my son and me after his father’s death. I swore it was like our house had been invaded by those little people called The Borrowers in those books I used to love as a child! I think this happens because as you are sorting through things, moving this to there and that to here and all of it to someone else’s arms, you might even be putting things in odd places momentarily and not even be aware of doing so because your mind is so absorbed and overwhelmed with processing all that has changed in your life. And then months later you will find one of those items, and you’ll wonder how it ended up there!

    It’s also too easy to give things away at first that later you will wish you had kept. Just something to tuck into the back of your mind. I know that certain items are special to other people, but when it comes to just give-away stuff, like what would be sent to Goodwill, sometimes it’s best to just hang on to it for several months and see how you feel about it then. Those items might develop a kind of endearment to you, and you’ll be glad you kept them.

    Just some thoughts on this Sunday afternoon. Cheers and hugs, Janet 🙂

    • Dear Janet, are you suggesting I’m absent minded instead of just senile? I haven’t been the only one searching for the missing laptop bag since I even dragged the mail-man in to look as well as an innocent passerby. I know you women stick together but even after death? I know she’s playing with me like a cat with a mouse.
      Seriously, I’m quite sure I’m capable of doing just as you say and will probably rediscover many items I’ve mislaid recently in the future, but this one was too big to miss.

      I’m trying to keep things I know were close to Ju’s heart or that I associate most with her but there is just so much and I’ve had help in making decisions rather than just acting and maybe upsetting myself or anyone else. I thought allowing others momentoes was better than just hoarding things greedily and refusing to let go. It hasn’t been easy.
      If you find you have had the borrowers there, do me a favour and don’t ship them over. I’m sure I haven’t finished turning things up that I’ve lost without a fresh wave of disappearances.
      Sending Huge Hugs xxxx

  8. Maybe she didn’t do it on purpose. I’ve lost my own things before and God knows how or why I’ve put them in the places I did, but… I did. It could be there is no rhyme or reason to why women do the things they do sometimes 😉 Your Ju sounds like she was an intricately interesting woman and her mental filing system might have been a mirror of such a life.

    ((((big hugs to you)))

  9. Catherine Johnson

    Oh Ju will be laughing at you, David. That’s really funny. I wonder how it got in the pantry.
    My parents vleared there loft out recently each time Helen or John visited who could scramble up there. It’s going to be full again soon though since my brother is moving abroad. All change again! Glad you are bring kept on your toes. Take care :0)

    • I’ve never been in any doubt about where my place is Catherine.It’s wherever I’m told naturally.
      How/why it got to the pantry is beyond me but I’m sure Ju enjoyed every moment of the search. lol
      Huge Hugs

  10. Great post David! Good to know Ju can still surprise you!

  11. Doesn’t everyone keep their laptop bags upside down in the pantry? Where else would they go 🙂

  12. It sounds a bit like our place, where everything is where you’d least expect it!
    Hugs, David!

    • That’s exactly what it’s like Margaret . It’s really difficult knowing where to start looking for something. Whatever happens you’ll probably find something else first that’s not in it’s place.
      Huge Hugs xxxx.

  13. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to send deepest sympathies to you, I’ve just caught up with all your beautiful posts about Julia’s passing – wow, that poem she left you all was very moving xx

    • Please don’t apologise. You’ve obviously had your hands full with the wedding. The bride looked beautiful,( obviously mirroring her mother) and I know the day went well from your blog. I’m so pleased for you.
      Thank you for the comments about my posts on Julia. No doubt there will be many more. I agree the poem was very moving but she always knew how to tweak my heart strings to prove I have one. I miss her very much but will always remember now what a very lucky man I was for so many years, a lot, but nowhere near enough.
      xxx Hugs to you xxx

      • We had a wonderful day, every day should be that good, wedding or not, I’ve never known a bride have so much fun and laughter and that’s just how she wanted it. We’ve had too much serious in our lives to not make the most of an opportunity to jump for joy 🙂 I hope writing and being in the blogging community has been of some comfort to you.

      • I think the fact that so much laughter was there on the day will make it all the more memorable for everyone. I hope the memories will keep you all jumping for joy for a long time to come.
        Blogging has been a great comfort to me because he community has been ultra supportive. I’m grateful to and for the wonderful friends I’ve made out there in every corner of the world. ( Just a minute, the World is round, how are there corners?????).
        Huge Hugs to you. xxxx

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