Kinky Boots.

I’d say it’s fairly well known that men make mistakes when they don’t think things through. Sometimes one mistake leads to another. Let me share with you a story about a man who did just that. Let’s call him oh, David just for fun.

The year was 1987 and it was during the summer months when the sun was out that David took a bus ride along the coast to the Queen of Resorts town of Llandudno, that’s ‘Clan did no’  for those who don’t speak the oldest living language of Europe. ( See, I try to be educational as well). Getting off the bus at what was then the delicately named place of Bog Island because the public loos were underground with the entrances on an Island which divided the road in two, David checked there was no egg on his chin ( no flies open), crossed the road and started looking in the shop windows. I have no recollection of why I mean David had gone to Llandudno that day  but he does remember that it was early and the shops were only just beginning to open.

David must have been at that end of town for some specific reason and there must have been an appointment or he wouldn’t have found himself looking in the window of a ladies shoe shop. But as (bad) luck would have it there was a sale starting and in the window was the most glorious pair of boots he just knew his wife would adore. What’s more they were down from £160.00 to £45.00 which is mmm, mmm  a lot. Without hesitation he dashed inside. They turned out to be half a size bigger than his wife took but she could just wear thicker socks couldn’t she? He paid and the boots were packed in a nice bag with all bits of confetti. David supposed they must have thought they were for a wedding.

Business concluded, David wandered wherever he needed to go before taking another bus home . He knew there would be a hero’s welcome and if I have to be brutally honest he was probably a little too full of self-congratulation. On arriving home David presented his wife with the parcel. ” What;s this ?” she asked. “Just a little gift I wanted you to have” I he replied. “What have you been up to David?” she asked, whereupon he realised the first mistake he’d made in not thinking things through, wives are always suspicious of spontaneous gifts. ” Nothing sweetie” he replied, “I just saw them and thought you’d love them.”

“Wouldn’t you like to put it to one side until my birthday next month?” she asked as he realised mistake number two in that he’s have to remember that ,and buy another gift. Kicking himself he answered ” No, I want you to have it now.” His wife unwrapped the parcel and covered the floor in the loose confetti earning him a glare for not warning her after she’d Hoovered up. At last she reached the gift and in place of the expected look of joy was one of puzzlement.

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“How lovely” she said, “but it’s the end of June David and the sun is shining. It’s not pantomime season yet where I need thigh high boots to slap.” So came the next lesson , he hadn’t bought appropriate to the season  and also that all women can be snarky when they want. He plunged into a blustering explanation that the boots were almost exclusive and no-one else would be seen wearing them, to which she agreed but in a very smug way. She was also not convinced about the wearing thick socks to help get over the size problem though he thought he presented a perfectly reasonable argument.

Julia gave David a kiss and took the boots away. He thought he’d seen the last of them. But, in the winter of 87 and a few winters thereafter the boots made an appearance. They looked fantastic below an maxi or a midi or even over jeans. Over the subsequent years there were many more pairs of boots with riding boots and a sheepskin pair being the most seen until they were thrown away eventually and replaced. Maybe he just stopped noticing in the end. But this year 2013 in sorting out clothes, shoes and boots to be given to charity shops , 26 whole years later the boots came to light again. They’ve undergone three property moves but never been thrown away and are still wearable.( In David’s opinion anyway). I really think she must have liked them after all.

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43 Comments

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43 responses to “Kinky Boots.

  1. Dear David,
    Thank God, in His infinite wisdom, He gave Mankind MEMORIES! Your Memories of your lovely Julia will keep you going until you meet again.
    I bet she LOVED her boots.

    Best wishes,
    Michael Phelps
    Miami Shores, Florida (The U. S. Colony)

    • Hi Michael. We never manage to retain the memory of how to stay out of trouble though do we? I have some great memories to cherish which I’d swap for one last conversation and one hug from her.
      I hope you’e well my friend, Regards, David.

  2. Another wonderful story, David. I love that we’ve all gotten to know Julia through your books and now through your memories!

    • Thanks so much Normandie. She was an amazingly kind though long suffering soul who had to put up with me for many years. I wonder how you guessed I was writing about us? LOL. Hope you’re both well. xx Hugs xx

  3. She could not help but love them. See how you brightened her life?

    • That’s very kind Virginia. I don’t know how she put up with me. Especially as I used to buy her flowers sometimes to make sure she thought I was capable of being up to something. Nothing like keeping her on her toes.
      Sending Huge Hugs xx

  4. Oh so true… if Julia hadn’t liked the boots they would have found their way to the op shop for sure [and David may have puzzlingly seen another woman wearing them], rather than getting the outings and long term space in the cupboard they did.
    Remember, in fashion, everything that’s old becomes new again. I suggest David holds onto the boots and the memories:)

    • If I (sorry HE) holds on to the boots for too long he’ll start drawing funny looks from people. Maybe it’s time to let them go to someone else, maybe even a pantomime Prince. It would be strange to see another woman wearing them but the Lion deserves an outing.
      xx Hugs xx

  5. Them boots were made for walkin’…… how can one pitch such a gift? The bravery alone to buy such a “bad ass” item is worth keeping the boots for the memory! Perhaps your daughter could take them out for a stroll now and then…. 🙂

  6. Or perhaps she was just particularly fond of the young man who gave them to her? 😉 Lovely story David.

  7. Phew! With a title like that I was a little afraid that the story attached to the boots was going to be the shock ‘David’ got when he realised that the boots were from a shop where the main part of their merchandise was ummmmm…. kinky.
    I had visions of inappropriate boots stashed in the back of a cupboard because you were both too embarrassed to return them!

    I am pleased to see that Julia kept the boots, clearly they were special to her otherwise they would have been sent to a more appreciative home long ago. 🙂 maybe Yvonne might like them, especially with that story attached to them.

    • Perhaps that might have made the story more interesting Metan. I could easily have wandered into one of those shops that caters for ahem, ‘Trannies’ and I probably wouldn’t have noticed as I was the only customer at that time of the morning.
      The boots would be more like boats on Yvonne as they’re a size and a half too big.
      Massive Hugs to you. xxxx

  8. Awww… I’m with the others David! Don’t throw them away. Remember there’s a grandchild coming soon. Nothing kids love more than rummaging around in the attic/basement/garage/shed and discovering wonderful artifacts from pre-history [meaning anything that came before them]. Besides those thigh boots will be in fashion again soon. 😉

    Please keep these stories coming! -hugs-

  9. Wonderful, heart warming story!
    And with boots as the star of the tale — it’s always in fashion.

  10. A very sweet story, David. Thanks for sharing this memory.

    • I confess it’s nice to reminisce like this and not be told to stop waffling by everyone within earshot. I remember so much of Ju’s warmth that the stories where I leave her puzzled ( typical man) are fun to share.
      I send you Hugs galore.

  11. Thank you so much, David, for sharing your so sweet memories of Ju with us. I wish you’d save the boots too, but I’m kind of a hoarder when it comes to mementos, so… Many hugs!

    • I look at things and remember the time we got them or the time she wore them and find it very hard to part with them. Yvonne and my nieces Karen and Jo kept me out when it came to the clothes and gave masses away to charity but I know things got saved like the suit I got her for the wedding and now hangs in Yvonne’s wardrobe. I have an Edwardian dress I bought which I can’t seem to get out the door. Most of the shoes/boots have gone now but the Kinky Boots are still here as is all her riding gear. I know the memories wiil remain even if I let them go but I just can’t do it yet.
      Huge Hugs to you Renata. xxxxxx

  12. Great boots. I am certain she loved them.

  13. Great story, David. I think she might have liked them all along too. After she’d finished vacuuming the confetti 🙂

    • Thanks Pete. I was never quite sure how I got the blame for the confetti stuff on the floor, after all, I didn’t put it there. You can’t remember everything can you.
      All the best to you.

  14. I think your lovely Julia treasured those special boots from you… just I would if my husband, Skip, bought them for me. Whether I liked them or not… they would instantly become ‘precious’ once he gave them to me. I think that is what happened with your lovely Julia. She kept them because they did indeed… mean something. Just as I would do with anything Skip got for me. :))) I’m so honored you came to visit my blog, not only that… I’m honored to have you as Friend. Gloria

    • Thank you Gloria, that’s very kind. I’m honoured. Yes, I think Ju did treasure the boots since they were quite an early gift in our marriage, and though I tease her unmercifully in my blogposts she was never anything less than gracious and grateful for her gifts. I was just grateful she stayed with me so long but I’m greedy enough to have wanted longer.
      Very nice to meet you Gloria,
      xxxx Hugs xxxx

      • It’s very nice to meet you, also, David. :))) I would be exactly like you… about being ‘greedy enough’ to want Skip always in my life, if he weren’t here. That’s ‘pure love’, don’t you agree? ‘Lovely Ju’… that’s beautiful, David. :))) Gloria

      • Yes Gloria, I agree that’s pure Love and I don’t shy away from admitting how I feel about her. I can understand you wanting to hold onto Skip. She really was my Lovely Ju. xxx Hugs xxx

      • David, that’s the way Skip is toward me… and I always listen with a soft glow in my heart. Like you, he doesn’t mind who knows it. I recognized that about you… your words reflected how you really felt about your Lovely Ju. My heart loved that. :))) That means you are also, like Skip, a very special man.

      • Shhhhh, don’t say it out loud you’ll ruin my reputation. xxx

  15. Memories are precious. Remember the good times. 🙂

    • I always try Margaret. There are certainly plenty of them. I went to that room to start changing the bed for visitors this weekend and saw the boots in a corner. They just make me smile. xxx Huge Hugs xxx

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