Losing Breakfast, Saving Lunch/ A Disadvantage of Living Alone.

It’s always a delight for me to recount my week to my friends and if all has gone well maybe raise a smile or two. Thank you for taking the time to share this with me and provide a comment of your own. I will always try to respond with a Hug for the ladies, and whatever is acceptable for the men.                                                                                       Here’s the week in view……..

Sunday. I’d been disappointed on Friday to find on going into a shop for something advertised in their brochure that I can’t read because it wasn’t due in till Monday. Knowing I couldn’t get to the shop then I managed to persuade poor Michael that a little burst of shopping this morning might just find an alternative. He fell for it hook, line and sinker and got ready by half past ten which for him is DAWN or thereabouts. There was no way I’d find what I wanted in Flint but I did manage to get my Christmas list down by another two gifts. I keep the list on my desktop so I can update it when I get home, turning red all the items I’ve actually got. It’s more red than black now. There was still a good half hour before lunches would start at The Blossoms so we went for our usual coffee at Temptations. He had his usual banter with the girls and as usual I crossed my fingers that we wouldn’t get banned. We went for lunch. As we walked in the young man ( Carl?) behind the bar saw us, said hello and asked if we wanted the usual drinks. We both thought that was great. We settled on a lamb dinner which was excellent but towards the end a large family group came in and as the group contained young children was very noisy with items of cutlery ringing on the floor with some regularity. It’s a very small dining room so we were all sitting closely and the noise and proximity got too much for me. I had to leave so telling Mike I was going for some fresh air and a cigarette (????) I paid and left. I may have to find somewhere with more space or stop eating out. Michael left soon after to go to his father’s by which time I was turning any drink I picked up into a shake.I spent most of the rest of the day staring at the TV screen.

Monday. Time to catch up on all my emails. I’m trying to decide which one of the marriage proposals to accept when it occurs to me that I may have to learn another language, throat singing or the ululation of some African tribe. Maybe I’ll stay a widower a while longer. Anyway, two out of the five psychics have said now isn’t the time for rash decisions. How they’d seen the state of my skin I don’t know. It always amazes me that the psychics write to me since they should really be able to predict my responses and save themselves some time. I confess that apart from trying to answer the ‘sarky’ comments of one of my regular correspondents who shall ‘meekly’ remain nameless, the day was pretty boring.

Tuesday. Courage ( or stupidity) gripped me this morning as I found myself at the bus stop complete with backpack containing gifts for Reuben. Stupid in as much as I decided to go for the early bus at eight-ten when the bus stop was crawling with children. Courage because I didn’t walk away. The school bus came and whisked them away leaving just three of us at the stop. I started breathing again. The bus arrived and I struggled on to find the disabled seat at the front was free. I grabbed it (before it ran away), sat down and applied my earphones to listen to music and ignore distractions. The distraction soon arrived. A young lady with pushchair got on and sat next to me. That was fine, but the baby, now in the gap in front of me obviously wanted to play. For twenty minutes I had to play visual hide and seek with a child getting shriller by the minute. At least she was a happy little bunny so I didn’t mind. She got off and distraction two arrived. The man sat next to me despite the free seats available. Was my nutter magnet working again? No, he didn’t speak but Lord how he smelled. It’s just as well I don’t eat breakfast or everyone would have known what I had. How he didn’t notice me going blue from holding my breath I don’t know and he must have heard the explosions of breath as I had to give up. I bathe every 6 months even if I don’t need it but this was a ten year man without a doubt. The bus crawled but eventually we got there and you’ve never seen a disabled person clear the hurdles as fast as I got off the bus.  Yvonne met me with Reuben in his pram and I asked to go for coffee. The nearest was a Pret a Manger which looked clean and roomy. Yvonne went to the counter while Reuben snored and I watched him. She came back and passed me  a latte. Quite a big glass so I put three sugars in. We were talking all the time as we do when I saw Yvonne take a sip if her flavoured latte. “Mm” she said “this doesn’t taste very much of what was promised.” I lifted my own mug and the smell of whatever it was hit me. “There could be a reason for that” I told her. We swapped and I added just two sugars this time in view of the sudden diet I was going on. She tasted mine and I saw the grimace. She never did finish that drink……. After some shopping ( c’mon, what else did you expect when I’m with Yvonne) we went for lunch. I took Reuben to the table as Yvonne stayed in the queue to order. Reuben woke up. A few smiles and Yvonne arrived with lunch and with water to heat his bottle. The idea was that she’d feed him while I ate then we could swap. His eyes were following my every mouthful and I swear he tried to distract me with a fake High Five so he could pinch a piece of pie. It didn’t work. I finished and took him on my knee. His grip on my beard told me his milk and my steak pie weren’t even in his eyes.

A little more shopping on the way home, obviously only because we had to pass the shops anyway. At home Yvonne made me don a Christmas hat so she could take a few photographs for my Christmas cards. I carried Reuben round the room with frequent stops at the mirror which seems to fascinate him. Ugo arrived home and after half an hour was ready to run me home. We chatted all the way then stopped at a Chippie so he could get some tea to have at my place. He mustn’t have heard me whisper “no thanks” as he got me a portion of chips for my tea too. With threats that they’d see me Sunday and take me out for a meal he left. No time for anything but mail for the rest of the evening barring one quick break for the new Mentalist episode.

Wednesday. During the course of the morning I received several parcels from different couriers and the post office. These interruptions of course spoiled all my courting of the varied age ladies who deem me proper to look after both themselves and their personal finances. I was so close to completing my bank details for them to deposit finds on several occasions but another knock on the door put paid to that. Such a shame, I could have used the money to buy a bell. Don’t for one minute think I’m ignoring my psychic’s advice not to be rash but I reckon we have time to mull over things before the marriage plans are final. I’m thinking I may have to join a religion or perhaps even start one that allows me to enjoy so many wives. The millions we’ll have will of course enable me to buy a suitable place to house this new harem and hire a doctor to keep an eye on my heart as well as one for my brain. The aforementioned parcels are of course part of my Christmas campaign which is going very well this year. Yvonne thinks I may be going a bit over the top ( “as usual” she says) but this is a good chance to spoil people.However if I carry on like this there will be no room here and I may have to invoke the Sanity Clause to get me to stop. It’s not that I spend a fortune, it’s that I like to find unusual but suitable gifts for people. For instance, I’m sure Reuben will appreciate the baby alligators instead of rubber ducks in his bath. See what I mean, I’m thoughtful.                                                                                                          Tonight was excellent. Dil and Matthew came for their weekly game and then my nephew Lee turned up too. My cup runneth over but I turned the machine off before the floor was flooded. We had two games of Scrabble which I won ( Hint…always hide a q and u up your sleeve till you see a treble word space available) and two games of Balderdash which they allowed me since I lose all the Absolute Balderdash games we play. I won those games too and was able to wave goodbye to them with a smug grin on my face. At least until I was reminded I didn’t win  thing last week with my brother taking most of the honours. I waved them off, washed the pots and came through to start my evening mail which kept me going till 11.15 pm.

Thursday. This morning I woke to pouring rain and howling wind. No, it was genuine wind outside, not the surfeit of beans type you were imagining. The horror was I had to go out in it. Not very far I grant you but ‘A’ for effort please. How am I ever going to be rich if I don’t keep up with my lottery tickets? While I was out I nipped (now that’s a term not often associated with me) to the Post Office cum Chemists. I needed to return a watch I’d bought my brother and which he brought back last night as the minute hand didn’t work. I was tempted to point out the other two did but he’s four inches taller than me and plays a nasty game of Scrabble. Anyhoo, I posted it off and on my way out saw a great bargain on a bottle and food warmer. I suppose if I can’t use it Reuben might.  As I got home I met someone in dark clothing with a hint of red and was relieved to find out it wasn’t the Salvation Army band but the postman.He was trying to bend a parcel to get it in the letterbox. I relieved him of it but couldn’t manage it either so I just carried it in. I polished the rain from my glasses to better see what it was and saw it was from Amazon. Strange, I haven’t ordered from them recently. The x-ray vision and guesswork not being up to scratch I opened it, cleverly opening up the side of my thumb in the process. Muffling the weeping and wailing I applied a plaster ( band-aid). The content was a book I had ordered from Ebay as part of a group for Yvonne. She wanted them for Christmas but I said I couldn’t give her second hand gifts for that. I shall have to hope she thinks the attempt to bend it to fit the letterbox is why it’s second hand so she’ll accept it early.

Friday. Ah, the rain has stopped. Just as well since I forgot bread yesterday. From 5.15 till  almost 10.0 am on my emails seemed to take forever. I just put my coat on to go for the bread when post dropped on the mat. Almost as much rubbish as some of my emails so it went in the bag for recycling. To be on the safe side I decided to nip to the loo before going out. You could say I was in full low when there was a knock on the door. Damn, I thought “Won’t be a minute” I shouted, having learned the hard way never to shout “Coming” gain only to find some random woman at my back watching me pee. Naturally I had an hour bladder this time and by the time I’d finished and washed my hands and opened the door, no-one was there. I got my crutches and went out. There on a neighbours doorstep stood a man knocking. Taking a chance I asked if he’d just knocked on my door thinking he might be the gas man ( No, still nothing to do with stomach upsets). It was in fact a courier and yes, he’d just been to mine but said he hadn’t heard me shout. Strange because I hadn’t mentioned I had shouted!  Some kind of delayed ESP perhaps. I took the box he had and signed for it, Rasputin seemed appropriate today. I knew what it was and just popped it back inside the house and went to gt the bread. Twenty minutes later with the help of some very blunt scissors I had my Trivial Pursuit open. YAY. Wednesday nights will be great from now on. My nephew is far too young to remember anything from the original game and I’m hoping my brother has maybe forgotten it all except sports.  I had a reasonable bing meal at lunchtime, managed to clear my mail by 5.00 pm and caught an old episode of The Mentalist. I keep getting confused as to who is with who now and why Rigsby has a baby but no wife. After that I decided to have a shower. I know it’s a month early but hey, live dangerously and believe me I know of what I speak. I suffer from Unstable Angina( which just means it can come on at anytime without exertion). One thing that triggers it is often putting my arms above my head so ballet, playing Dervish and washing my hair aren’t easy. Someone else usually washes it for me but Michael isn’t here this weekend. I’ve developed a knack for putting my head low almost between my legs ( the better to kiss my ass goodbye) to do the actual rubbing/scratching but unfortunately I also have a talent for losing my balance.You can guess the rest. Moments later I was on the outside looking in holding a very sore forehead and feeling the mat beneath me get wetter and wetter where I’d knocked the shower door open.In again, rinse, groan, and out. Hang mat over door, don dressing gown and grab chest while running for nitro. I’m better now and going trough to watch a sexy lady dissect the bodies of the poor unfortunate deceased. Purely for educational purposes of course.

Saturday. Ah well. The weekend has arrived. Up with the larks, that is if the larks like being up in the pitch black at 4.45 am. I know my lovely niece Karen will be taking me shopping this morning. I almost said escorting but that  sounds like I need supervision and surely I’m not that bad. Am I? No, of course not, chances are it’ll be me stopping her spending. Anyway, I’ve chance to do my mail since she won’t arrive until between 7.30 and 8.00. Let’s see if I’ve any marriage proposals in the meantime. Well, the easy answer is no, but I have been propositioned which is new. This girl is all for happy times and swinging. Is there a circus in town I don’t know about? I answered “No” anyway since she suggested taking my breath away and I need all I’ve got to keep breathing. A text at 7.20 tells me Karen is on her way. Picking up the bags from the kitchen and I see the floor really needs a good clean. I’ve plenty of time to run a mop over it before I go. I actually made it over half way before my genius for being a klutz kicked in and I upended the bucket trying to pull it across the floor just using the mop. I always wanted an indoor pool just not here, not now. I had just finished getting the worst of it up when Karen arrived. I’ll leave it to dry while I’m out though I don’t know whether the little lagoons under the washer/drier and the fridge will do so.On the way out I put out the bins, the big one now has the old microwave in and I hope they don’t open it to check.                                                                                  8.00am at Asda and we have to walk the length of the car park because someone forgot to put my disabled badge in my coat pocket. Tut Tut Karen. ahem. She heads for the potatoes but I call her back and say I don’t need them this week. Instead we start by selecting two bunches of flowers for Ju which Karen will arrange beautifully when we get home to avoid it looking like it was done by a blind man. Before we reach the food I need some enveloped for Christmas cards and then I see some baby clothes. Soon I have a pair of dungarees, matching tee shirt, fur lined hooded coat and a pair of tiny boots. Karen who pointed them out has nothing and stands there smirking. I look at the gents clothes but NO, I will behave. But nearby is a sale stand and Karen tells me they have nothing like it in her store. I get a double bed set for just £4  and two big cushions at £2 each. Then candles, heck where did all the space go and why is Karen laughing at me? We finally reach the food and in an effort to show I’m a single minded shopper I fling four bing meals into the trolley. Karen catches them as they threaten to slide off. I get 4 cream cakes ( just in case of visitors). two boxes of chocolates, bread, milk, coffee, pop and two tins of fruit. This is ridiculous Karen, what have you been filling the basket with, oh, just pass me two boxes of dark chocolate fingers and a pack of the chocolate gingers please. Right, ready for the till. Karen unpacks her stuff from the trolley and it doesn’t look any smaller. She places it on the conveyer belt and put a barrier up for me which I try to remove but she won’t let me. The girl is vicious. I unpack my stuff which seems to take a while. I find a skirt Karen picked and manage to hide it behind my other stuff. Finished and now nearly £100 lighter Karen goes to buy her lottery tickets while I check my receipt to see why the till doubled all the prices…it didn’t! We head off but stop on the way home for a coffee and to lighten the load by one box of chocolates.Karen had a Chocolate Indulgence and had to photograph it in case no-one believed what I’d got. I just had my latte. Two more quick shops which were ll her fault anyway as she looked for coffee creams and we went home. In four hours the floor looks a little drier and at least we don’t have to paddle now. Karen does the flowers and then after another fight heads off. Another book has come for Yvonne which I unpack.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  During the course of the day I’ve kept up to date with my emails. Had a Cumberland Pie for late lunch, fallen asleep in front of the TV and designed the second of my Christmas cards. The bins are back in and the microwave has gone. Next thing is to check the lottery and ring them to tell them where to send my winnings I promise I’ll send postcards.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             I wish you all a Wonderful Weekend and a Great Week to follow. Cwtch. xx

Are you really Santa Pops?

Are you really Santa Pops?

I'm a natural !

I’m a natural !

Bathtime Baby

Bathtime Baby

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71 Comments

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71 responses to “Losing Breakfast, Saving Lunch/ A Disadvantage of Living Alone.

  1. Liking the full beard and the santa hat! Cute pic of you two! Have a great week!

  2. I had so many comments to share, such as Michael’s late rising being similar to my daughter’s and how I can appreciate your difficulty eating next to a loud family group with young children. But then I saw that gorgeous photo of you with Reuben. He is absolutely precious. Oh, and I’m jealous that you are ahead of me in the Christmas gift shopping department. I’ve far more black than red to date. (((hugs)))

    • Curses ! This has to stop, I’m publishing pictures that are leading to my own downfall here.. Michael will be pleased he slipped through the net again though.
      I aim to be taking a leisurely stroll through December while everyone else battles in the stores. I love it when a plan comes together.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  3. I haven’t been around much lately and so have missed your epistles. Great that you are getting out and about again. Hugs from NZ keep up te positive thoughts.

  4. I hope your present bearers don’t read your blog, or you will spoil their gifts! The shower episode left me sympathizing but, sorry, giggling as well. A great sit com scene. Sadistic of me I know…

    • No, I think I’m safe thanks. At least I warrant some sympathy this week instead of the usual hilarity on it’s own.My head at least thanks you for that. There are times I think I’m living in a kind of sitcom written by someone from The Three Stooges who loves all the eye poking, head slapping fun of slapstick. Just what percentage sadist are yoiu?
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

      • HAHAHA, I live in the same world. My mom says I cant walk and chew gum at the same time. So I laugh with you, having tipped over many times, fallen with air time in front of others and generally made an idiot of myself wherever I go!

      • Well I’m obviously able to multi-task. I can wash my hair AND fall at the same time.Making an idiot of myself wherever I go is nothing new either, Julia always said everyone should have a hobby Lori. Keep laughing sweetie.
        xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  5. I never thought about it, but now that I see you wearing the hat, you do appear to be one of nature’s Santas, Uncle!
    Either that, or one of nature’s Gandalfs 🙂

  6. David, you are funny. The way you told about your shower episode had me laughing out loud. You seem to have come through it okay, and I’m glad of that.
    Be well. Blessings.

    • Thanks so much Lynn. How is it my misfortunes causes so much hilarity amongst my friends? I expect sympathy, cakes, get well cards but end up with laughter.
      I’m fine though.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  7. Beautiful photos. You are looking well.

    • Thank you lovely Virginia. You mean the first two photographs of course where I ‘star’ still, though my grandson’s picture is pretty good too! He’s becoming a natural little poser now.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  8. Had to leave a comment today, David as not only did I enjoy your post hugely but love the photo of you and Reuben. Watch out for more of those’ widows on the hunt next week. 😉 x

    • Comments always welcome Carole but especially those that mention my Reuben. I want a widow free, con artist free zone next week. Messages from real millionairesses still welcome though!
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  9. You look like a proud PaPa. And I have to say, your beard is almost as good as Doug’s! Well done for braving the bus. I loathe going out and getting the bus, also. But we will brave sitting next to all sorts of people or things at the thought of a grandchild at the end of it. Don’t they make our hearts sing? Hugs to you.

    • I wish I hadn’t cut the beard back a couple of months ago as I might have been in seasonal work now.Has Doug had any offers or does his retain colour? Thank you, every step towards the bus is a chance I’ll just turn round but Reuben and a shopaholic daughter await me at the other end.
      xxx Huge Hugs Niamh xxx

      • He is often mistaken for Santa! And what is it with our daughters? I was never into shopping, but I like tagging along now.

      • He has my sympathy except now when it won’t be said with derision. Yvonne would claim she got the bug from me as Ju hated shopping so I can’t make up excuses about just following her.
        xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  10. I sympathise about the bus… I caught one home on Wednesday afternoon which must have been cleaned with the world’s most pungent disinfectant. I ended up feeling very sick and with such a bad headache that I had to go to bed and didn’t emerge again until Thursday.
    I think the hat is really you, by the way!
    xxx

  11. Sometimes I have to wonder what cleaning products they use.There must be a nice, simple but effective one they could make at home that doesn’t bring on migraines. The only thing missing on the hat is ‘Bah, Bumhug’ I think,
    xxx Massive Hugs Jan xxx

  12. Gosh David, I’m glad you’re okay. Great pictures as always!
    “Nutter magnet” — now I finally know what the trouble is… If you ever figure out how to de-magnetize them, let me know… because someone slipped me one decades ago. At least now I understand why the wack-a-doodles keep finding me.

    • Thanks Teagan but I’m invariably OK except for maybe dented pride. Oh poor you, whoever slips those magnets to us doesn’t know what they’ve done. They attract wack a doodles from several counties the minute you leave the house.I’m searching for a cure as we speak but I think the magnet softens out hearts at the same time.
      xxx Massive Hugs to you xxxx

  13. Ah, life. Not for the feint of heart.

  14. you look very like Santa! A very dashing Santa! I also wonder why the prices of things double at the check out. I know I’ve added it all up in my head. however, I do give used books as presents! My one vice (that I will admit) is going to a fabulous used book store, with prices that make it difficult to resist. also the owner has a small crush on me (well all his women customers)….and always throws in a few books for free! If I find a vintage astronomy book, or rare local history…. it’s a present! (you can oddly microwave your books to get the musty smell out but don’t wing it! I melted the first book I tried this method… all the glue holding it together melted and I had a page puddles. But no smell!)

    • Ah, you’re straight on my Christmas card list for that comment. I’m preening. I add up my shopping as I go round and it’s usually at least half what it was.I think I’ve just arrived on the opposite of sale day. It did surprise me how little food I had. I will give second hand books and I’ve got one for my brother in law that’s out of print.But, if I told Yvonne I was willing she’d never have let me give her the books now.It’s getting to be that I have to be devious to win the odd battle now. I think I’ll pass on the microwave lesson as I’m not ready to buy another one just yet. This one isn’t 2 weeks old.
      xxx Hugs Galore xxx

    • Oh thanks for the tip Kittynh! I didn’t know the microwave would remove the musty book odor. I’ll have to look into that.

      David, you have such smart friends!

      Hugs all around,
      teagan

      • I know that Teagan, I have you.
        I don’t understand though how a youngster like you knows songs by the Doors that only Old Farts ( my daughter’s term) likeme usually know?
        xxx Cwtch xxx

  15. Well I for one appreciate your hugs and always smile when I receive them, love the description of Reuben attempting to pie mug you, they d reach a stage where they try to make you feel guilty that they are on a liquid diet, however in years to come they then make you feel guilty after they have driven you to one, 😀

    • Hi Paula, based on what you say and of past experience with his mother I’ve decided to pre-empt things and start on a liquid diet now. The practice will be good for me. I’m glad you like the hugs, I don’t think there can ever be enough of them out there and some always slip through the cracks..
      xxx Hugs Galore xxx

  16. Hi David!

    I don’t mean to compare, since Angina is way more serious, but when my bursitis is bad, I can’t wash my own hair too, so I know how complicated that can be… And I seem to attract bad-smelling people on buses and trains… I can never understand why on earth they find the seat beside me so appealing when there’s plenty of others available… I have a pretty sharp sense of smell, so sometimes I notice that others are not even bothered by the stinkiness and I’m there almost suffocating.

    Have you watched The Mentalist episode 6 already? I’m dying to comment!! Can’t wait for the next episode!! 😀

    Oh, and as usual, in love with Reuben all over again… This boy is so cute and has the most melting smile!!

    • Hi Renata, angina may be more serious sweetie but I couldn’t call the difference in levels of pain. I had bursitis ( elbow) a couple of times and wouldn’t want to revisit it. So you’re another poor soul with the nutter magnet. As I said to Teagan before, it must com with a kind heart as we never seem to chase them away. But a whole bus !! Why next to me?
      What’s going on here. Are you getting a new episode every day? I’m sure I’ve only seen No3 and the next is due on Tuesday evening. If you’re already far ahead of me you might as well comment in case I miss it. What’s been happening?
      I’m going to speak to my Union, this is the most rank favouritism. My blog, my words, my photographs. I smiled on one the first time in years but do I get a mention? No Sir. It’s the Reuben show and I feel like his ugly brother.
      ( Well OK, ugly grandad then) but no-one says I’m cute……
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

      • Ha! I just can’t wait so I find… well, means to watch new episodes! 😀 You have no idea what’s happening! My heart stopped for a while yesterday, watching episode 7. But I can’t spoil it to you… I’ll wait until you see them all, then we’ll comment!

        And well, I’m sorry, but what can I say? It was all about you, my dear, until you introduced us to this prince! 🙂 Now I only have eyes for Reuben…!
        Hugs

      • I watched episode 4 last night when they found out the FBI agent was killing off Red John suspects from Patrick’s fake list and when we find out there is a secret group throughout all the agencies claiming to be after Red John, Tiger, Tiger. All exciting stuff. I think they work for Red John or why kill the FBI agent in a dodgy faked escape attempt when he may have helped Patrick at some stage.Feel free to tell me if I’m barking up the wrong tree Renata.
        I’m heartbroken to think I’ve been usurped already, the prince is only just 3 months old. Stabbed in the back by a baby and yet yesterday he had huge smiles for me and no mention of taking my place.
        I still love you all regardless though,
        xxx Hugs Galore xxx

  17. Catherine Johnson

    Yes cute pic! Fun stories as usual, David. Do you not have something on your email that filters all the spam into a spam folder? Then you can click one box and delete the lot without reading them. :0)

    • Hi Catherine, thank you. No, my email just warns me when it thinks something is SPAM so I needn’t bother with it, but it has been wrong.The SPAM I wa talking about was WordPress responses that the WordPress prog has taken before it reaches me. Blogs do seem to get targeted a lot.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  18. -grin- You know I’ve just realised that your weekly updates read a LOT like a serialized version of your books. 😀 No wonder they’re so much fun! And of course those pictures of Reuben just light up the page. I wouldn’t have thought it possible but that baby is getting cuter by the week! And…is that diet working David? Dare I say you’re looking a tad leaner…-runs away-

    • Ah, as usual you’re just like Mary Poppins, giving me a spoonfull of sugar before offering me the venom to drink. Thanks for saying the bulletins of me nearly reaching my death bed weekly are fun. But you’re right about Reuben. And it’s lovely watching him focus more and flashing huge smiles right past you…… As for my figure, how kind., my new diet is to wear more black and remind me to thank the little Chinese girdle maker would you? The best purchase I ever made- the girdle, not the Chinese maker.
      xxx Sending Massive Hugs xxx

      • Ah hah…the Chinese girdle maker. Maybe you could introduce us. I’m already into black but something is still missing. 😉

      • Very well, his name is wxf785ad but please don’t ask me to say it. His garment No on Ebay is 111073639506 and comes in an excellent range of colours though of course you already know Black beats them all. It seems to be plated like an armadillo which is just what I required and is working well if you noticed the new sylph like me. Hiding behind others in a photograph is still preferable though and I follow the Hitchcock rule, ‘Never stand sideways’.
        xxx Cwtch xxx

      • lmao – thank you, I’ll give wxf785ad a tinkle. And yes, the Hitchcock rule most definitely applies!

      • Life for me has been difficult recently. I turned sideways at a bus stop and half the waiting people sank to their knees screaming about an eclipse ( cheek), the other half just said, “Will one of you stand aside so we can get on the bus.” And that was when I was wearing the girdle. If only I liked celery more…….
        xxx Massive Hugs as always xxx

      • -cough- -snort- -cough- Oh dear….

  19. Aaah this is where Santa Claus’ younger handsomer brother got to. That explains the efficient and early shopping, and the spreadsheet. It runs in the family. I had no idea the Claus family was Welsh, but there you go. I can see Reuben going into the family business – the cap suits him 🙂

    • Wonderful, another flatterer on my Christmas Card list this year.Oz has just redeemed itself in my eyes after the last slander about my size. This time next year I’ll be able to go into proper competition to the Claus family and give old Santa a break. I’ll train Reuben up to succeed me once he learns the spreadsheets, in the meantime, his father is teaching me how to do them.Shopping almost done this end since there were last minute additions to the list.
      xxx Sending Hugs Galore xxx

  20. With all the coming and going, shopping and eating and handling domestic disasters I don’t know how you have the heart –
    or the time to write a blog !!!!

    • That’s easy Valerie, don’t sleep and only eat once a day.The blog has become my excuse for not having time to write books any more and in fairness I don’t know whether I have more domestic disasters than the next person but maybe I just like whinging more. The blog has brought me so many wonderful friends that if odd things didn’t happen I’d be forced to invent them.
      xxx Huge Hugs to You xxx

  21. Gede Prama

    Thank you for writing which is quite good and best wishes always, and greetings

  22. You look dashing in your Santa hat, as does young Reuben. On the faraway day when I visit you there in Wales, we will have to have a game of each Scrabble, Balderdash, and Trivial Pursuit. No one will play with me here, because I always win. (Well, hubby can best me at Trivial Pursuit). It’s a long way to go for games, but I’m up for it. 😉 Especially if I can try a cream cake and chocolate gingers. I’m very curious about those. 😉

    • Thank you Kind Lady. Is that dashing as in Errol Flynn, or dashing as in a hurry? I already know which one for Reuben though he doesn’t have the moustache. When you come for a game we’ll have to go to Tir Hwnt i’r Bont for a cream tea before settling down to play. I should win easily when you start to nod off after eating.Noyt so sur about letting you near my dark chocolate gingers, you might like them and win some at scrabble.( shiver).
      xxx Cwtch xxx

  23. Entertaining story and wonderful photographs!

  24. CJ

    Egads, man! You are, ahem, dare we say, a DANGER to yourself!?! Yikes! Better check into some of those wedding proposals BEFORE you win the lottery.. good thing little Rueben is there to keep an eye on ye! Stay off the shower floor! Be well! Big and tiny hugs, CJ and Mousie
    XXXxxxXXX

    • It’s not too bad as long as I don’t start becoming a danger to anyone else.I don’t think the wedding proposals are for me, not sure the air in Burkina Faso will suit me as I go looking for the money from my bank account. Maybe when someone from Wales applies who really has the millions to start with……..
      I’ve noticed the only thing Reuben keeps an eye on is my food and I don’t think I trust him.
      Good idea, I’ll stop showering.
      Massive Hugs back to you and my tiny pal. xxx

  25. Your posts always put a smile on my face that lasts all day. Thank you, David. BTW, love the full beard and Santa Hat photo. 🙂

  26. Reblogged this on Seumas Gallacher and commented:
    …My pal, Lord David Prosser produces blog posts longer than the usual -hold-my-A.D.D-style patience for reading, but his stuff’s so good, I never notice that … enjoy >:))

  27. What a great picture of you and Reuben.

    It sounds like you have had an entertaining week as usual and I’m sure the shopkeepers love to see you coming, especially when Xmas is coming and you actually intend to buy things! I love the thought of rubber crockies rather than duckies for Reuben’s bathtime. 🙂

  28. Yes, I’m told shopkeepers ring each other to say my wallets in town. Erm, who mentioned rubber crockies? I’m not mean, he can have the real thing. Lets see how long people prefer his picture to mine then !
    xxx Huge Hugs to you all xxx

  29. ooohhh… I lost you on my ‘puter 😳 and was get worried. Thought you may have run off with one of those “saucey” ladies… 😯 xxx

  30. Monday sounds like a fun day. So many proposals to consider. 😉

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