Sunday. I’m an early riser but even I like a little lay in on a Sunday when there seems no need to rush. For all the humorists in Valhalla or on Mount Olympus, I don’t consider 4.07am to be much of a lie in. But I dragged myself out of bed nonetheless knowing if I got a head start on my emails I could be finished in time to make Mike a coffee when he gets up about 8.00 am, I heard him turn the TV off ready for sleep just gone 11.00 pm last night so he should be rested. I was right that I finished by 8.00 am and went through to feed the fish and take my tabs. Lifting those to my mouth is my daily exercise now. I made myself a coffee and went to sit in the lounge. It still seemed quite dark but I didn’t turn the light on as it enables me to people watch. Ha, like there’s anyone out there this morning on a rainy Sunday. I finished a ciggie, took a sip of coffee and lay back for a couple of minutes with my eyes shut. They must have been glued because the next thing I know is it’s 9.30 am. Still no sign of Mike so I have a quick tidy up as my nephew, his wife and my great-niece are coming after lunch. At ten to ten I make a coffee and take it through to Mike telling him it’s almost ten. A grunt, a groan and a hand reaches out for the mug, I move it just out of reach and depart.”Ugh, wassup” reaches my ears. Back through to my kennel to get dressed and sit down with more mail.I come fully awake when my one-liner friend sends her batch of messages, if I’m not on form she’ll pounce and tear me to pieces with her wit. A friend who’s computer has been down returns and I’m glad to see her. Lots of adverts for things that can still be delivered for Christmas if only I order them before midnight. Showing great restraint I almost didn’t. I’m just finishing when I hear the patter of tiny feet, no it’s not mice, it’s Captain Caveman finally surfaced from his pit. I head back to the lounge. Mike’s just telling me he worries about me being alone and lonely when he’s gone. I ask him if we can get married as there’s a competition to win a prize for your husband worth £650. That stopped the conversation dead. Then there’s a knock at the door, a shout of hello and in trooped my nephew ( David the Decorator) followed by his wife holding a rather green looking girl at arms length. It appears my great-niece was car sick in a projectile way. One team directed to the bathroom to clean her up a bit and David grabbed a bucket to clean his car and the car seat. He says he’s not been round as he’s been embarrassed about the hiccup with the phone line and internet. I told him it gave me a great blogging piece and not to worry. I bear no grudge since it was quite funny. It seems they were on their way to Chester to see Santa and decided to bring the presents on their way when this accident happened. They decide to take her home to change her clothes and perhaps go to nearer Santa for her. Such a shame. As it’s now 11.45 or so, it’s time to think about lunch so we get our shoes and jackets on and head for the car. “Where are we going?” I ask. “Get out of my head you” was the answer, and “you decide.” Since it’s usually my decision I forced the issue and we went to the Bells of St Mary at Gronant. I love a carvery. I chose the roast beef ( how unusual) and
loaded up with had a few potatoes with loads of carrots and peas. It was really nice. On the way back Mike dropped me off and for a change he even slowed the car down before heading off to his Dad’s. I’ve spent the rest of the day alternating between mail and Christmas films on TV along with a few episodes of Dinnerladies starring ( and written by) Victoria Wood. Great stuff. Now it’s time for one chapter and some missing sleep.
Monday. It was another early rise this morning but you can tell Christmas is approaching because the emails are slowing down a lot. Plenty of people still blogging though so I was occupied until 8.00 am when I went to see to the fish. I took my time getting dressed as my nephew and his wife won’t call early. Midway through the morning I went to see if the corner shop had any barm cakes but I’m still out of luck. They’ve only got bread fingers and they’re just not as nice. While out I decided not to cook today and bought a ham salad bap for lunch. It was very tasty, even with the greenery and without salt. I was tempted to add coleslaw to it but when I opened the fridge everything just spilled onto the floor. I say everything but this damn fridge only just holds the butter and the milk. Add anything else and it starts to scream. I settled sown with another version of The Christmas Carol and was starting to nod when the front door opened and a Hello was followed by two drowned rats entering.The weather has been pretty bad this afternoon with rain and high winds but being inside left me unaffected. I was really lucky that Lee and Jen stayed with me for a couple of hours and even had a game of Scrabble. After Jen managed to get her Q on a triple word score the game became quite close but having thee benefit of being the scorer I clung to victory. After they left I settled with my emails and stayed in my room until 11.00pm when the front door opened again and Mike arrived, also drenched. It was time for a break anyway so I made us both a coffee while he told me all about the happenings since we last saw each other a day an a half ago. Half past midnight and I turned in to a promise from Mike that he’d be up early for the shopping tomorrow ( strictly speaking it’s today now).
Tuesday. Christmas Eve. Lawks a mussy, I slept until 6.39 this morning. That’s a lie in and a half. There were only 64 messages which I rattled off in no time, at least 6 were cons about problems of some sort or another about bank accounts I don’t actually have. One of them even purported to be from the people I do bank with. My number 1 rule is ‘If it doesn’t bear my actual name it doesn’t get opened’. I was just making myself a coffee at 8.00am when I heard Mike’s alarm go off. He must have been serious about getting up early ( by his standards) after all. Unfortunately I’d washed, dressed,
had a game of snooker, and made a second coffee before he came out of his bedroom. I made his drink and went back to check if there was more mail.There was, finally my Ancestry account is sorted and I can work again. Mike got ready and we left. On the way I sent Lis a text to see if she was home so we could drop off the presents for Christmas and for the birthday she’s enjoyed yesterday.I had emailed her with greetings but no response so she must have been busy. There was no response to the text either so when we finished shopping I texted her beautiful daughter Charlie.Mike and I went to Kassidy’s for a cuppa and a bacon butty while we waited. No point in going home too soon just to come out again. Charlie answered her Ma might not have her mobile handy as she was in the kitchen prepping for tomorrow. Charlie herself will come see me after Christmas. We just reached the car when Lis responded that she was in and putting the kettle on so we headed in her direction. It was really wet out this morning and driving along the car kept getting deluged by the car in from going through all the puddles instead of avoiding them. Steam was coming from Mike’s ears and for a moment I thought he was going to overtake and slam the anchors on. No doubt he’d have very politely told the other driver something about road courtesy. Luckily they turned ff and we did the rest of the journey without further mishap. We had a lovely hour or so with Lis before coming home with the shopping. At home I managed to confirm that I’m as thick as painted. Why buy things to have a little buffet on Friday today. There’s not an iota of room in he fridge for trifle, gateaux, Quiche, pies, sausages, sausage rolls or scotch eggs. I daren’t turn the heating up no matter how cold it gets now. We started watching Frank Capra’s A Beautiful Life. It wouldn’t be Christmas without that yet one channel is showing cowboy films rather than anything seasonal. My friend Jonathan, a really nice young man I used to work with called to exchange gifts. He’s always a welcome visitor but I haven’t seen him since the funeral. We had a good natter before it was time for him to continue in his Father Christmas delivery role. I made a meal which we ate on our knees watching the goggle box. Later on I had a shower ( yes, I know, two in the same month, shocking) before we settled to watch the film Paul. I managed to get Mike to go to bed so he’s ready for Santa’s visit and the joy of Christmas morning. I decided to do this blog and finish my mail before reading a chapter and sleep.
Wednesday. Christmas Day. I was up early enough this morning to clear what little emails there were. It gave me chance to see to the fish ( an extra sprinkle for Christmas) and sit with a coffee in the lounge to start opening presents. I’d open one and prepare a text to send in daylight and for those I have no mobile number for I could dash back to my room and send an email. I felt very adult and organised. I’d just about finished when Mike got up and came looking for his coffee. It must have been his inner child ( he’s never grown up) and the excitement because he made it under his own steam by 8.30 and yes, I’m talking a.m. here folks. We exchanged gifts and I started unwrapping one when he snatched it out of my hand and told me that one plus two others were to be opened tomorrow but wouldn’t say why, despite me pointing out it’s an odd thing to give a Christmas gift, wrapped in Christmas paper that can’t actually be opened at Christmas. Some of you may remember the saying I claimed as a favourite. All the World’s Queer save Thee and Me, and even Thee’s a Little Queer. Well, he’s the Thee it’s talking about. I was however allowed to open two. One from Rose Mike’s lady friend, part of which was a very unusual memo pad and the other was from himself and was a really nice cardigan. I was tempted to rip half of his sack of gifts back and declare a postal strike but to be honest it was his turn with the coffee. He seemed delighted with his gifts though one was not in 100% condition but he says a bit of superglue will fix it. For lunch I did Mike roast lamb and myself beef.I preheated the oven for the roast potatoes which came in their own tray and were covered on goose fat. They went on gas mark 7 and were in for an hour and a half in total as they didn’t seem to brown at first. Yet the couple of parboiled sweet potato roasties seemed ok. I also did sweet potato mash and this should interest one of my friends, cauliflower and broccoli too. Everything was fine except the roast potatoes which were raw. Perhaps I should have started a week ago. After lunch we settle to cabbage out and watch films. It was nice not having to disappear to the computer for a while. Teatime came and we had a cold collation but halfway through Mike jumped up and left. He returned after a while claiming stomach ache as though I’d tried to poison him at lunch time. At my suggestion he went to lie down and I threw the rest of the evidence away. He did get up and join me again but was still not up to par.About 10.00pm I told him to go watch the film in bed and I came through to deal with mail. Not a single con-man working today it seems. It’s now half eleven and time I said goodnight. I want to read a little more to get closer to my new Pratchett.
Thursday. Boxing Day. After mail this morning I made myself a cuppa, took my drugs (No Seumas, matron wasn’t here) did my drug tray for the week and decided to let Mike have a lie in. As it was already 8.25 I decided 5 minuted would be enough so I made him a drink and hoped the smell would wake him. It didn’t, so af half past I called gently, ” Fire, Fire, get out while you can”, that shifted him, he turned over. A reminder every 30 seconds not to forget his coffee ( well he was oblivious as to the gap) finally roused him and he coughed his way to the lounge. In order to save my delicate ears I beat a hasty retreat to my bedroom to dress. Earlier this year I bought a suit at a bargain price so today I donned a new shirt, good waistcoat and the suit.The not so subtle hints made Mike get ready and he went and brought the car to the door to load up.Until the boot was full I didn’t realise how much we had. He’s such a shopaholic. Of course since Yvonne had asked me to pick up some cream we head to call in at the big Supermarket
sale on the way. I was able to get some real bargains ready in reserve as gifts. We reached Yvonne’s and unloaded the car. Having her cream meant it took ages. Inside the house we saw she was very busy making the buffet so Mike and I had a coffee and played with Reuben who though very tired seemed happy enough. My nieces arrived and in the process of hugs and kisses I somehow lost control of Reuben and he ended up in Karen’s arms. I always said she was devious. The buffet went really well though she’d made enough to feed an army ( or Mike). Then it was into present swapping. I was spoiled again by everyone and they all seemed happy with the gifts I got them. I had a lovely jumper from Ugo’s mother which I must write and thank her for. We took turns at entertaining Reuben and when it wasn’t my go I nodded off. Some terrible people with no consciences took pictures of me. How cruel. Latea afternoon and Mike and I prepared to depart and so did my nieces. As I slipped my suit jacket on I found I’d got a security tag under the collar. I’m amazed I didn’t set any alarms off this morning as the supermarket was where the damned suit came from. I no longer have the receipt of course so I’ll have to take it in to get the tag removed and they’ll have to believe I didn’t pinch it. Tonight we had tea followed by a long relax with a Percy Jackson film.Pure escapism. Then back to you and your messages I’ve missed during the day. Just 91 today. I’ll be in bed for midnight……just.
Friday. Before anyone gets the idea I’m always the instigator of shopping let me tell you that Mike decided to go shopping this morning for a pair of slippers. He’s been coming here for years barefoot but suddenly he needs slippers. It’s not like I keep broken glass on the floor all the time. Since Mike and his bed have this almost unbreakable attraction for each other, it was almost 10.00 am before we got out and since my brother and nephew are due early afternoon I say we’d better get a trot on. He decided that locally will do today and go further tomorrow if we have no luck. Anyway we try two shops in Flint with no joy and decide to have a coffee. After the first sip my phone rings. It’s Dil and Mike has nipped to the loo so can’t answer. Now it’s the battle of the texts. “Where am I” Dil asks. “Flint” I say, “where are you?” “Outside your house” he replies, “had to come early to leave early.” “Home in about 15 mins” I tell him, ” No rush, I have Matt for company” is his last thrust. With impeccable timing Mike returns from the loo and chatting up Ceri. I finish my latte and tell him I’m popping next door then we need to get home but he can finish his coffee in peace. At the next door shop my luck is in, they have slippers and just one pair in the right size ( unless he wants Gorilla feet). Bearing the prize I return to the car to meet Mike and we come home. As we arrive Dil and Matthew get out of their car and come in with us. We get out coats off and Dil explains why his time is limited, because he’s babysitting his grandson later, my little brother is a granddad !! I get the table out we use for gaming and start setting up when Dil asks when the drought is going to end. All the subtlety of a brick duck. I make drinks like a good little Jeeves. That done I take my place for the first Scrabble. My mind is hazy and I can’t remember if I won the first or the second game. If Mike reads this he’ll tell me I won neither. We had two games of Balderdash and I think two people cheated to win, neither of them was me. We had one game of crazy 8’s and the God’s were continuing to laugh up their sleeves. Even my young nephew who has only played the last couple of weeks showed me his heels. All I can say is there had better be some VERY large Lottery wins in my future or the blood sacrifices
end start! Dil and Matt had to leave so Mike and I cleared up and made a light meal which we enjoyed whilst chatting about random thoughts. (For Yvonne……. we polished off a big BFG afterwards. For my Aussie food conscience……no we didn’t). Before I knew it the time was almost 11.00 pm and typically I had loads of emails before getting to my book.
Saturday. I rose at 5.10 am and woke about twenty past.The night seemed to have been very short but as Mike would have reminded me had I dared get him up, “It still is bloody night you wazzock”. There were 13 emails that had come in before midnight which shows I had been so desperate to finish last night I hadn’t refreshed. There were 61 since midnight. Does no-one out there sleep? The next time someone writes a book about zombies they can say what they do when they’re not chasing normal people- they’re sending messages to me. I’d just stood up after finishing the last one at 7.00 am ( no, I didn’t refresh again) when I heard Mike’s alarm go off. Very strange at this time. I saw to the fish and made myself a cuppa since I knew the alarm wouldn’t have moved him yet. Five more minutes and it repeated. A curse, a groan and a grumble followed and Mike lumbered out in their wake. No slippers on despite our success yesterday. Not having a death wish I decided it wasn’t an appropriate time to ask about them. Instead I woke him up in the armchair and passed him a coffee.Getting washed and dressed seemed appropriate so I headed in that direction. As y screen came to life I quickly refreshed and found just 14 more messages which I thought would take no time. In fact 10 could be deleted. 1 answered quickly and three needed a more detailed response. I nipped through to see what stage Mike was at and woke him up in the chair again and pointed to his coffee. For the next few minutes he drank as I was back in my bedroom hopping up and down on one leg trying to get dressed and answer messages at the same time. I was hitting the keys so hard they were probably reading braille at the other end but I made it. Coats on and rubbish bins out we left to go shopping. Amazingly we were there by 8.10 am and Mike grabbed a trolley while I begged at the cash machines. Inside my first port of call was the veg for some sweet potatoes. Mike’s first port of call was the loo so thrusting the trolley at me he ran. I started walking slowly on. It was disappointing to see that the sports jackets I’d seen the other day with elbow patches and reduced to a mere £20 had all gone. That will teach me to strike while the iron’s hot. Reuben was well served though with some new outfits. Mike caught me up and teasing him I said ” I’m not saying you’re short but I just got you some new outfits with Tazz on.” Not in the least fazed he said “I told you to stick to animal from now on”. I hadn’t prepared a shopping list and we seemed to move round quite quickly this morning. So much so that we were out before 9.20 am. We headed off for a coffee with one slight detour to a Lidl to check their specials. I managed to get Reuben a lamp to fascinate him. We had our coffee and banter in the usual place and I picked up a few spare gifts for birthdays etc before heading for home. Mike nipped out to post a letter for me that I’ve forgotten twice recently while I unpacked the bags. I was bringing the rubbish bags bag as they hadn’t been collected when I saw the postman had been. It was just a card to say he had a letter that requires a signature but as I wasn’t in he’s take it back. I can either go collect it on Monday or have it redelivered on Tuesday. I plumped for the latter before thinking how long I have to sit here wondering what the hack it can be. We had lunch then Mike left to meet an old ”friend’ and said he’d be back tomorrow. I flitted with my time between messages and the TV until late afternoon when I got a message asking if I was open for a visit. It was Charlie, daughter of my friend Lis. They both arrived about 6.00pm and Charlie had made me a batch of shortbread fingers. I do like shortbread. We had a nice visit ( well I did) with coffee and good natter. I was disappointed when they left but knew they were going to a party at Charlie’s brothers. They were even good enough to take some snack food I’d bought for a buffet yesterday that never got touched. I started watching one of the Bourne films before coming through to start my mail and the blog ready to annoy you all around midnight. Nowhere near done in time.