Sunday. My night was very short but the darkness certainly wasn’t. When I first grudgingly got up it was pitch black but once I remembered to turn the computer screen on things improved no end. I sorted the mail and answered the comments on the blog before heading off at 8.am for my coffee. As I came back through I decided to get dressed in case Mike got up soon. I know he’d actually turned the TV off early last night and I could see him seemingly fast asleep when I nipped to the loo before midnight. It seemed a good idea to perhaps ‘tweak’ a few of Yvonne’s poems and print them out to see how they looked so I made a start but was ready to see to Mike’s coffee when he wrote. The trouble I had….last week I’d replaced an ink and something had gone CLUNK I couldn’t see what it was but the printer still worked though with a terrible background noise. Today I had to change another ink after the first printing. It took ages to get the new ink in, and then even longer to shut the lid. As I printed the second poem off something seemed not right at all, there were two pink whales instead of bluey-black and on the third I had a pink dragon though I could get away with that as it was female. By number four I’d lost the last three hairs on my head and had a pink black widow spider. I didn’t print more, just designed and saved them. Next week I’ll have to test Ju’s old printer which hasn’t been touched in a couple of years. Throughout all this Mike hadn’t moved a muscle except the one that he uses to snore which was in overdrive. At 10.10 am I took a coffee through and got a grunt. I became engrossed in some more mail and at 10.50 still just am, he finally appeared looking like death’s ugly brother. It took some doing to motivate him to be ready to go out at mid-day. We decided to head back to the cafe from last week, The Ivy Emporium because the reception had been so nice. Things hadn’t changed. The owner is an exceptionally nice man and I can say the same about his wife, (not that she’s a nice man you fool, just that she’s nice), I managed to have a good natter about Titterton’s pork pies and about Heaton Chapel where we’d both lived. Also today there was a waitress and didn’t Mike’s eyes light up when he saw her. What did mine do you ask, never you mind. When I went to pay at the end of the meal she complimented me on my beard, Mike corrected her and said it was a food retainer. Things went from bad to worse at that point with the jokes ( mainly at my expense of course) and we left there laughing. As she’s a budding writer I left my email address in case she needs any help. Mike dropped me off at home as usual and left to visit his father and this week his sister who’s birthday it was yesterday. We joke about how much older than me she is. You would only find the rest of my day boring, I know I did. Mail and TV in the main and all I remember is a Sherlock Holmes. Now time for a bit of book.
Monday. It didn’t take me long to realise I was still tired this morning. Once the mail was up to date at 7.am I saw to fish and tabs and sat with a coffee in the lounge but keeping the light off. No sooner had I finished the drink than the soft sawing sound of my Zzz’s were drifting though the room. I was away. It was light when I woke at 8.30 so I made another coffee, a bit stronger this time and went back to the computer. Once up to date again I got dressed though I’d no intention of going out today. The wind and rain were awful. I played yo-yo all morning between my chair and nodding off, and my computer to keep abreast of the mail. I had one late morning that told me we used to communicate but she’d had to change her profile, if I would like I could see the latest ‘dirty’ pictures of her on the new profile. Why she thought I’d be interested in looking at pictures of an unwashed woman I don’t know. For lunch I had a shepherd’s pie, I hope he never finds out who pinched it. Almost immediately afterwards I was asleep again. That didn’t last too long as the cigarette I was smoking burned my finger and dropped to the floor. Even so, I bet it was just ten minutes before I was away again. I didn’t see a complete TV program all day. At a few minutes to 8.0pm I came through to catch up on mail and hopefully grab an early night. No matter the sleep I had today I’m still yawning. Unfortunately there’s been a lot of mail and most of it very interesting so I’m just past 11.0 pm now. I’m determined to have a short read then try for sleep. I need better weather tomorrow in order to meet Yvonne.
Tuesday. After getting up early and seeing off the mail which included two notices about unexpected use on the Barclaycard I don’t have, I got dressed and sat nervously deciding about going to see Yvonne and Reuben. Do I go now and force myself out the door or sit and think about it a bit longer. It’s not raining so I decide to strike while the iron’s hot, or more accurately before I turn chicken, cluck, cluck. Texted her to say meet me at ten or would you prefer I came straight to the house. She answered ten was fine and told me where the new Costa Coffee House is. Within ten minutes I cursed my memory when I found the kids were back at school and the bus stop was jammed with them. Before I was able to turn round and go back their bus arrived and I was surrounded by about six million excited, chattering pushing and shoving
monsters little darlings. My own bus drew up and I all but collapsed on the step but I saw the driver lower it for me to make it easier. I swiped my card and occupied the disabled seat ( seat for the disabled, there’s nothing wrong with the seat itself). I got out my MP3 player to avoid conversation and relaxed with my eyes shut. I got through two songs and the battery ran out so I covered where the red light would be and sat swaying like Stevie Wonder so no-one would know. A very tense hour and a quarter later we arrived and no-one had tried to speak to me. With my sense of rhythm they perhaps thought I was having a fit so stayed well clear. The young lady on the seat behind me did help me get my haversack back on though. We went to the Costa and I gave Yvonne the new outfit I’d bought for Reuben and the flower stickers I’d bought to go on the hallway wall ( only if she wanted). Lastly I brought out some of the poems I’ve been doing for Reuben’s book after deciding some of the ones I did for Yvonne may not be suitable. I was OK she loved them. She started a diet today to get rid of the residual baby fat so there were no cakes with coffee today. We enjoyed a wander and a further drink before lunchtime though this time she had water with slices of lemon. I gave Reuben some of his milk. As we walked on afterwards to get some bread to take home we picked up a few bits here and there. After getting the bread and emptying the baby food section and fruit section we stopped for lunch……well I stopped for lunch. Yvonne asked for a pot of tea for me and a bacon roll( a good swap some my say) but was told I could have a cup or a mug and there was no bacon left. I settled for a mug and had a pastie. A few minutes before we got up to leave the waitress brought sausage and bacon sandwiches to the table next to us.Guess where I won’t be going again. One more shop on the way home and I found a great pair of shoes in the sale for Ugo. It’s a shame I see so little of him. I watched the monster while Yvonne made me a cuppa at home. We’d been 6 hours shopping, she’s a terrible girl leading me astray like this. Ugo arrived home about 5.30 and by 6.00 was ready to run me home stopping on the way for chips which just he and I enjoyed much to Reuben’s dismay.I was able to give them some gifts I’d picked up on Saturday but couldn’t carry this morning. The usual moans ensued…………yada, yada, yada. After they left it was straight to the computer to find 149 messages waiting. A big ouch. It was getting on for midnight before I was able to stop.
Wednesday. A terrible night last night, I couldn’t get to sleep as I was constantly getting cramp in my feet and had to keep walking around. I felt like Marley’s ghost. It must have been at least two before I was able to try again and succeed. So I lay my head down and at a quarter to five my bladder decided it was time for another walk. That woke me up. So I had 39 messages brought over from last night, I’m so glad I didn’t refresh then plus 78 of this mornings. I’d almost finished when I left to do my morning ritual at 8.00am. I followed up by getting ready to go out to the chemist and to pick up some fresh baps from Pauline’s. The bread I’d got yesterday was awful. While out I decided not to cook a meal but to get a ham salad bap for lunch and a pastie or sausage roll for my tea. That actually worked out well for me today and I think I might add the ingredients to my shopping list and do that as much as possible next week. The salad will be good for me and OMG I feel faint, what’s wrong with my brain? I’ve actually spent most of the day on the computer apart from lunchtime after which I managed an hours sleep but as usual at 5.00 I came through for The Mentalist. I’d seen it before so turned over for the Great Antiques Road Trip. I couldn’t help laughing at the experts who bought goods to take to auction which they promptly made a loss on, all except the last item, a picture frame the expert had paid £100 for. It looked like it may go for £50 when there was a sudden surge in bidding and it went for £300. He ended the day with a profit. Another antique program Flog It followed that and I watched as I ate my pastie and some pineapple pieces. It was just after that Dil and Matt appeared like two drowned rats. The weather has been awful all afternoon again. I’m glad they live atop a hill too. We had two games of Scrabble as usual but I could only
cheat my way to a win in one. Then it was time to bring out the Newmarket Board we’d recently made, raid Reuben’s copper jar and teach Matt how to play. I swear he must have been a professional gambler in a previous life. It took a while before I started showing a profit. Next week I’m hoping for Nomination Whist but Matt wants to teach me poker. After they left about 9.30 and yes it was still raining I came back to see to messages. Barclay’s are obviously worried about the activity on my Barclaycard but I’m not worried as I haven’t opened an account since this morning. However, I am frankly getting worried about two other things. 1) One woman is getting very blatant in wanting to know if I want some ‘FUN’ with her but she didn’t leave an address, and 2) Some poor soul in Africa has lost her husband and is now dying herself. before she goes she wishes to entrust to me the £2,000,000 her husband left as she knows I’ll be sure to pass it on to deserving churches for her. I’m worried the amounts are getting so much smaller these days, is it really going to be worth my while, and why should she think I would pass it on to churches when I’m the most irreverent person you can imagine. Right, two mins to midnight, I’m going to have a quick read.
Thursday. Though I did rise early I felt I wasn’t quite ready today so about 6.30 when the mail was done I leaned over slightly and was back on the bed. Next thing I knew it was 7.40 and the fish were sending mental messages not to forget them. To save myself being confronted by a very large unhappy fish one day I didn’t. I’m kind to spiders too just in case I ever meet the eight foot queen who knows how her subjects have fared. In this life it doesn’t pay to take chances. Good advice for my Aussie friends there. After ensuring my good karma for the rest of the day I took my meds, arranged the meds for the rest of the week and then made myself a Columbian Coffee I haven’t yet tired of my toy and the varieties I can buy though many of the tastes are indistinguishable to me unless it’s a crema and I can look forward to a silly moustache. I don’t know why as I already own one of those. That meant I didn’t get back to my mail until about 8.30 by which time some poor postman with too many in his sack had dumped another 87 in my box and I’m sure they weren’t all mine. Regardless of that I worked my way through them even dumping the ones with titles like ‘Hey baby, we could have a real good time’ as Balderdash just isn’t as much fun with 2 players. It was gone ten o’clock when I checked the lottery and had my hopes dashed, there are two rich people with £54,000,000 each in France and Spain now. I wonder if they can read begging letters in English? I decided I’d better get ready to go out and buy the Eurolottery ticket for Friday despite the prize being just a measly £12,000,000. I suppose it would do if I’m careful. I bought three scratchcard as well and won £2 so I’m not sure if that’s a sign my lucky streak is starting or a sign I’ll end up bankrupt. At home again I did a couple more poems with appropriate clip-art for Reuben but I can’t print them out until I get off my backside and check out this other printer. That’s a good job for the weekend if Mike comes. For lunch I had two baps with corned beef, tomato and coleslaw the effect of which I suppose was a little spoiled when I had a Kitkat for pudding. I turned TV on but couldn’t concentrate so I decided to examine my eyelids from the inside for a while. An hour later I slunk ashamed back to the computer for the next round of punishment. By 4.30 I was starting to nod over the keyboard so left the last couple and retired to the lounge. I was in time to see my antique experts repeat last night’s errors of judgement and make stupendous losses again. The evening flowed past in a jumble as I missed about twenty minutes of Law and Order Zzzzing then turned to Murder She Wrote which was plain boring. At 8.00 I gave up and came back through, changing into my dressing gown and have sat here since then with messages and post comments. Time for one more poem then a bit of Sir Terry Pratchett before trying to sleep.
Friday. I woke this morning with the distinct impression I’d heard nightingales. The main arguments against this are a) I have no idea how a nightingale sounds and b) It was a bit off it’s Berkeley Square patch up here. There is no shelter from the flood, no wellingtons small enough for their feet and I doubt you’d get a sou’wester that size either. So why a nightingale you ask, and the only answer I can think of is these poxy dreams are trying to tell me something. I’d take a pad and pen to bed to record the dreams if it wasn’t likely that the writing time would probably coincide with the time I’m supposed to be asleep. Once I’d done battle with my messages first thing I followed my usual routine then came back to writing some more of the kids poetry- acceptable versions- I’m doing for Reuben. I have so many questions about publishing a small book of poetry with illustrations in the form of clipart like is the cost of producing books with pictures very expensive for readers to buy? Is it better to do a paperback, a hardback or even a board book? I’m hopeful an old friend of mine will be able to answer my questions from her vast store of knowledge.I’m even a bit confused about the best size since I’ve been doing the work as A4 so far. I wonder if something like this may be more acceptable to a traditional publisher or whether I should just continue with the pattern of self-publishing I’ve done with my other books. Maybe I should just concentrate on one copy for Reuben alone. Anyway, I think I managed 3 more before returning to the messages and catching up. I went to get two pints of milk in case Mike decides to come and ended up buying two bottles of wine. I don’t even drink??? Naturally I clanged all the way home and drew a few looks and knowing nods from the locals. Lunchtime came and I had a small braised steak and mash and settled down with the TV for an hour. I went straight to sleep, did not pass go and did not collect £200. I was woken by a sound from my phone ad saw my eyes had been closed for about twenty minutes. A message from Mike ‘On my Way’. I shot off back to my room again as there’s no way I can deal with messages once he arrives and I don’t want tons for tonight. At 2.05 he arrived, his afterburner was still hot as the three hour journey had taken 2 hours 10 minutes. A clear road was the only explanation my raised eyebrow got. My brother Dil had bought me some top quality ground coffee for Christmas so I took it through to the kitchen, demanded Mike got on his knees to me and make him search the cupboard for my cafetiere. It’s a very small size and has a knitted cardigan just like me. I made him a coffee and parted with a biscotti then went to sit in the lounge with him. I’m pretty sure he finished his coffee before he fell asleep (How rude) which was just before I did likewise. The trick is to wake first and then when he apologises for being so rude you can claim the moral high ground without being caught. A little later I did roast beef, boiled new potatoes in a herb butter and garden peas for tea which we shared though I could only have a small portion having eaten a meal already, then I had a great big barm cake to mop up the gravy. We watched our usual quizzes before I went for a shower and left Mike putting extra holes in my new belt ( bought Tuesday) even though he kept insisting the belt didn’t need more holes but an extension. He’ll pay for that. I stayed up chattng and watching Body of Proof until 10.00 when I had to excuse myself. 101 messages awaited me which I’ve managed to finish. No reading tonight I think, it’s almost time to get up again.
Saturday. I’m pretty sure I managed a full ten minutes sleep before it was time to haul my weary ass out of bed. (I did warn him he was taking up too much room.) I nipped to the loo and could hear Mike driving the sheep home with a vengeance. Still, I’ve no time to do anything about that now, my audience awaits. It was actually a nice manageable amount this morning and I was finished, washed and dressed before 7.00am. I was enjoying a drink when Mike’s alarm went off It went on a bit longer than usual before I heard it crash to the floor but I was pretty sure he was awake so I made his coffee and took it through. Wrong, he was back to sleep. “Coffee’s up” I told him and left, knowing that his alarm is on a ten minute repeater.At quarter past there was no repeat alarm and no sound of movement so I headed back to his doorway and called in “Don’t let your coffee get cold Bro.” All I got in return was “Leave me alone, alone, alone” like some demented echo but I knew he’d heard me. I saw to the bins and braved the pouring rain to put the recycling sacks out too. At 7.30 I had one last go, “Coffee’s cold now Mike” and then moved away fast before some language tainted me delicate ears. Within minuted though He did join me. I did a last check of my mail and found one from Apple to say someone had just downloaded a game on my account in Taiwan did I need to change my password. I tried but at first it refused to accept my D.O.B so I had to say I’d forgotten my sign in so they’d send an email I could link to. Apple are a pain, they must have been breached because I don’t use the account online. I’m forever getting messages to say I need to change my password which I do but never through the link in the message. We did the shopping but after a late start had to play catch up. We managed pretty well and were able to have a drink in Flint complete with sexual banter as usual. While shopping I’d bought a lot of salad stuff with the intention of having salad baps for my lunches next week. I realise Australia is in shock at the news but wait for this, I also bought myself a Breville Blend Active. I thought it might be nice to make myself some fruit smoothies or milkshakes. Can anyone tell me if chocolate is a fruit or a vegetable please?
After we unpacked the shopping at home we went for lunch so we could deliver some gifts to friends at Kassidy’s. It was nice to see Chris and be able to say we were sorry about her Dad’s passing. From lunch we wen’t to Colwyn Bay to see our friend who it seems is unwell again and has had a few falls. We had a nice couple of hours with him and went to visit my niece Karen to see her latest decor idea using things from the film The Wizard of Oz. It’s looking very impressive. Leaving her to get ready for work we came home . I plowed into my mail while Mike rang my phone company to see if he could get me a better deal and their TV package.I ended up a couple of pounds better off a month and got the extra. We had tea, watched an odd programme on sounds followed by a remake of The Tomorrow People which I remember from years ago. Mike had to go out to meet an old flame and I’ve come back through to spend my Saturday night in my usual fashion (You slavedrivers). Before I go, I’d like to leave you with a rare photograph of Nikita Kruschev.
One further thing….. The beautiful Virginia Llorca of Fine Whine http://www.dittymac.blogspot.co.uk/ sent me a picture today which she maintains is me ! I’ll leave it to your good selves to be the judge of her outrageous libel. As If I couldn’t find a rhyme !