Daily Archives: May 31, 2014

BFG Forced Feast &The Anvil Chorus

Sunday. In contrast to yesterday Mike’s alarm went off at 7.00am. I didn’t leave the computer straight away as I was mid letter. I’d been there since waking at 5.15 am and was making good headway. It was as well I didn’t rush as there was no movement stronger than turning the alarm off and turning over from his bedroom. At 7.15 am I went through to the kitchen to see to the fish and have some breakfast. Even the noise of the fish singing “Why are we waiting?” had no effect, on him at least. As for me it unnerved me badly so I was accidentally dropping spoons on the floor as loudly as possible. I returned to the mail complete with coffee after my Shreddies                ( Sponsorship Nestles?). There still wasn’t too much and by 7.30 I was done and lay down on the bed for a few minutes. At 8.20 am I heard Mike’s footsteps padding along to see why I wasn’t up. Kindly he didn’t disturb me so as he turned back to go to the loo I followed and got his coffee ready. When I asked why he’d set his alarm for 7.00 am he said it was because I’d mentioned a car boot possibility yesterday. In actual fact I’d asked the weather forecast for car boot weather but anyway, I didn’t even bother asking why if he’d taken the trouble to set it he didn’t take the trouble to get up.

Two coffees later it’s 11.00 am and neither of us has gone to a car boot. In fact neither of us has bothered to get washed and dressed yet. Mike’s been running me through allocating ringtones to specific people on the new ( old) phone Anton sent me. An HTC Wildfire and so confusing. He’s added Viber to it which is like skype and gives free calls and texts to other viber users. He’s added zedge which is great because that’s where I’m downloading music for the ringtones and it also has a variety of wallpapers and live wallpapers, even some games for FREE and that’s a favourite word of mine. We decided we’d better make the effort and get ready to go out for lunch. I got the bathroom first. We discussed where to go but I think it was a foregone conclusion so at 12.00 midday we set off along the coast road for Gronant. The Ivy was busy, nay bouncing with people but lucky for us the people we threw out of our seats were much smaller than us. Tariq was not able to stop and talk but I’m really pleased for him. So far the year has been quiet and it’s just picking up nicely. Two youngsters ( in their early 30’s) who’ve been working clearing some ground for Tariq joined us for coffee but had to leave at 12.30 pm to catch a bus. They have a long journey home.

Lunch was great as always and today Tariq didn’t even argue too much when Mike told him it’s easier to put the difference in the tip box and maybe save up for a Christmas meal for the staff. He even agreed and I didn’t have to run to leave. As we were on the way back I noticed the youngsters still at the bus stop and pointed them out to Mike. On second thoughts perhaps sticking an arm in front of the drivers face isn’t a great idea. ” Shall we pick them up and take them to Rhyl” he asked. As this is where they would have to change buses I thought he had a point and agreed. Fortunately there was a road to our right where Mike could turn round. We drew up beside them and I got out and tilted my seat forward for them to get in. Somehow my seat was so far back that the young lady couldn’t find room for her legs so we struggled to correct the seat. We made it and Mike entertained them with his humour on the drive. If we hadn’t picked them up they’d have been waiting another 40 minutes. We dropped them in Rhyl and their bus to Denbigh was in the depot so no waiting around.

Mike asked “Which way home?”, I shrugged and we tossed a mental coin deciding on the pretty route. Part way we came across a road we hadn’t taken before and decided to try it. Up into the hills with some fabulous views of the Dee Estuary to The Wirral ( England). Through some small villages till we eventually hit a road we knew of old and came home. Mike stayed long enough for a coffee before departing for his Dad’s and then later tonight back to Rugby. I came on the computer to catch up which took till nearly 5.00 pm when I went to sit in the lounge. It was only when it came time to eat that I realised Mike had gone and left the other half of last night’s (HUGE) BFG. He has no consideration at all for my dietary needs nor my expanding waistline and is forcing me to eat it all myself. It’s such a struggle I may have to finish it at supper. It’s been a case of back and forth to the lounge playing catch up with mail as I want to see the results of the Euro MP elections later tonight.

Monday. When I got up at 4.45 am I couldn’t go back to sleep but I knew I wasn’t done with bed. It’s not by coincidence the computer and the bed are side by side in my room. Well, it is really but that doesn’t sound as dramatic. I’d finished with the first batch of mail by 6.30 am and thought sleep was a possibility so rolled over onto the bed. I woke at 7.10 am and the fear of retribution sent me hurrying to the fish tank. They all seemed a little laid back today as though they didn’t mind. Nevertheless I carefully put food in, closed the lid and backed quietly away. I had my tablets etc. made myself eat some toast and took a coffee back through with me.  By 8.45 am I felt maybe another ten minuted would be OK and I was out until nearly 9.30 am. I must have been bitten by a tetse fly. To make sure I couldn’t go back to bed I got washed and dressed before carrying on with the mail. I see there are many worried Brits today by the results of the European Elections. We had a very poor turn out which might be one of the reasons the UKIP made so many advances. On the other hand it maybe that they did well because some of their policies resonate with voters. The other parties will ignore this possibility at their peril. At this rate the whole of Europe will soon be far-right and will be walking in jackboots over any country not keen on joining the EU. I personally am not a fan of the EU in it’s present incarnation and would have preferred it stayed a trading group. Since politicians always feel they know what’s best for us without consultation there aren’t too many options open and that drives people to the far right parties.

Anyway, back to the story. I carried on with emails until just gone 11.00 am then went to position myself before the goggle box for a break. To be honest I didn’t focus any attention on what was actually on but just used it for company. About midday I had a text ( on my new phone) from Yvonne asking if they could call in and take me for lunch ( no prize for guessing where) and I said fine as long as I could treat them. Expecting arguments later I got changed as they’d be here about 1.00 pm. I nipped out to the One Stop, expecting Pauline to be close half day ( she wasn’t) to pick up some chocolates to take with me. Once back I made sure the messages were up to date. Ugo et al arrived about 1.15 pm ( like a woman he’s ever fashionably late) and pulled up outside giving his horn a quick honk to let me know. I was prepared and wasted no time in going out to the car. I pulled my tongue out at Reuben a couple of times much to his delight and got in. Fifteen minutes later we were there. It was crowded again but miraculously my chairs were free. Angie had her hands full but found time to say hello. Tariq was playing waiter again and was also busy but still found time to say hello to everyone. I’ve never yet seen him not smiling. We all ordered and I settled on a chocolate milkshake and a quarter pounder with chunky chips. It was all great though Reuben felt the floor needed decorating by his. After eating Reuben had his usual wine dance on my lap as in he crushed my grapes again. Those feet come down with a wallop.

Before we left I got to the counter first and gave Tariq far too much money so I could accept some change but still leave enough for the meal. Then I had to face a barrage from Yvonne about not letting them pay.Simple, she’s only just returned to work and wages aren’t back to normal yet. I said goodbye to Angie with a kiss                ( cheek only you lot), said goodbye to Shella and then Tariq came round to hug us all. We drove home, I had time to pass Yvonne a bag of things I had for her and Ugo before they had to leave so he could work at home. I spent an age getting up to date again before relaxing for a while in the lounge. 7.30 pm I came back through to keep ahead of the game before going back through to watch a film between 9.00 – 11.20 pm. One last pass at the messages and time to do the blog and it’s time for sleep.

Tuesday. It was a 4.34 am start today but it didn’t last long. By 6.15 am I had a free show of stars dancing before my eyes without having to pay for a ticket. I couldn’t hear the music though due to the pound of blacksmiths practising the anvil chorus in my head. It was a even more difficult to see the computer screen as my head was viewing my nether regions ( somewhere in the Baltic I’m told) as I tried to stave of the nausea. I managed to text Yvonne to say I wouldn’t see her today before I turned off the light and dropped onto the bed. I came round again about 9.00 am able to see but the head was still pounding. I stayed on the bed relaxing for a while before going through to apologise to the fish and ask them to blow bubbles quietly, take my meds and bring a coffee through to finish the emails off.  It took a while but once done I was able to get dressed and go to Pauline’s for some bread and ciggies. When I got back I sat in the lounge with a drink and just fell asleep till lunchtime. Since I’d missed breakfast I was a bit peckish and it didn’t hurt to move my head so I made something to eat. I know it’s more accurate to say my microwave made me something to eat but I did have to prick the bag and wash the potatoes first. Lunch over I managed to clear a few more messages before plonking myself in front of a Homes in the Country and falling straight back to sleep. When I woke up it was to a knock on the door as the chemist delivered a fresh lot of goodies to make me high, low, sugar free or whatever else they do. I put them away until Friday’s Russian Roulette with Drugs Day and went back to messaging the world.

I watched my antiques programme and then a couple of quizzes, had a little tea to take my second set of food tabs and watched another Antiques Road Trip. Tonight one of the two experts was an auctioneer I just cannot get on with. He may be one of the nicest people around but his mannerisms are most annoying. Fortunately his opponent was another auctioneer who is a really nice person and a perfect gentleman and their team members were divided the same way so I had no problem egging the nice side on to win…which they did. I envy them the amount of time they get to spend with antiques, especially art nouveau pieces. I had one and a half hours back on the computer while I watched the season finale of The Mentalist which was not as absorbing as usual. Now I’m back in here to finish off the mail and do the blog before hopefully getting a decent night.

Wednesday. I’m going to apologise in advance and ask you to excuse me tonight. I did nothing of any interest during the day bar sleep and catch up on emails. Lee arrived at about 5.15 pm so we chatted as I got everything ready and we awaited the arrival of his dad and brother to catch the end of their quiz. They missed it, arriving at 6.00 pm as it finished. The traffic had been bad it seemed. I made the drinks. tea for Dil and a coffee for Matthew. Lee and I already had our drinks. We had two games of scrabble of which I won the first ( Thanks Elaine for xu and za ) and Matt won the second. I had to leave the room for a minute and when I returned a decision had been made that we play Balderdash next, my heart soared only to come down to earth with a thus when I was told it was Absolute Balderdash they wanted. No wonder Lee was sniggering, I’m useless at it. They have 6 categories on a card among which are Dates, People, Letters and Film Stories. Dates might include things like 5/8/1887 and the answer will be The day a Mountie was suspended for not wearing his dentures to work. Letters may be DSPCD and will  be as daft as Dundee Society for Professional Car Dealers but the films one is my worst nightmare. They’ll give a film title A Wish Too Far, which I struggle to create a plot for and then the answer will be as obscure if not more so that the synopses provided by my opponents. Matt ran away with the game tonight. I just seemed to choose his answers constantly. Lee had to leave after that game ( probably before I killed him) so the three of us had our usual game of Nomination Whist at which I excelled tonight.I confess it was sheer luck but who cares how you reach the end as long as you do. I always wonder how Dil can thank me before he leaves after a win like that. Mind you, I wonder sometimes why he bothers to come at all, and Matt too, you’d think he’d have friends his own age he’d rather be with. I’m so glad they do come though. We packed up and they left me to wash the pots and tidy up before heading for the computer to catch up on all the outstanding mail and this blog. I still might make it to bed before midnight though.

Thursday. It was a funny old night. I managed to get to bed by midnight-just, but wanted to have a read to relax. I turned the light off at 12.50 am ( Yes, I’d put the book down by then) but struggled to get off. I remember seeing 1.37 am on the clock then I must have dropped off. This truly awful noise of a bagpipe playing Scotsman being strangled woke me up. It was 2.10 am and looking out of my window to take advantage of a security light I saw a cat serenading his girlfriend from the comfort of my garden wall. I was tempted to throw a shoe but I’ve lost them to one legged itinerants before like that. A bucket of water wouldn’t have reached so I relied on as savage a hiss as I could manage and it seemed to work. Either that or his girlfriend wasn’t responding. I nodded off again only for the birds to start their chorus at the ungodly time of 4.45 am. They just laughed at my attempts to have another hissy fit. I was half tempted to give up and start work but I knrw I needed more sleep yet so when the little beggars paused to take a breath I put a pillow over my head and nodded off until 6.05 am.

I visited the loo then came back and turned the computer on. I emptied my ash tray and lit my first of the morning as I started the mail. I broke off at 7.10 to go for breakfast and found I’d had 5 cigarettes in that hour. I always knew it was worse when on the computer as you don’t notice you’re doing it. So, I fed the fish thinking what a shame I no longer have Big Bill to come greet me. I had my meds then some breakfast and took a coffee back to the messages. There were quite a few to do but there was no rush. I knew I’d have to go out at some stage for bread and maybe milk but of prime importance, the Lottery tickets. My weekly dose of hope. It reminded me I hadn’t checked the Tuesday Euro ( won £5.10p) and the Wednesday Lotto ( won zilch). When I got dressed and went out to Pauline’s at 9.45 am I told her I’d come to clear the till. I want a really nice win in order to take a holiday.

Back at home the postman called and brought me some stylus pens to use on the new ( to me) touch phone. I’ll have to make sure there’s one in each jacket so I’m safe whatever I wear, either than or get my fingernails cut since they don’t work on the screen. I worked until just before 11.00 am and went through to the lounge. Within moments I was well away and only woke when I let rip a real snort which scared the life out of me and the window cleaner both. I’m sure he thought I was dead up to that point. After all, who sleeps at that time of day. It was time to make some lunch. I decided to settle on pizza and micro chips today. A strawberry yoghurt to follow and I was a happy man. I washed the pots and watched half my antiques programme before going back to the mail. Someone wants to know if I’d like to invest in a third share of a treasure map. It’s Nazi gold that was stored away as the war was ending it seems and may be with valuable paintings looted  taken for protection from various homes and museums during the war. £5000.00 can get me a third share of millions ( less a few expenses- like hiring honest smugglers I expect). I’ll have to give this one some real thought before I say Sod Off I don’t have £5000.00. I had a happy time in here until 4.30 when I went through for my usual programmes. I’ve been back and forth a bit to see to mail since then and I’m on tenterhooks as Mike hasn’t been in touch to say if he’s still coming so we can say goodbye to Daniel tomorrow at Temptations. I’m going to watch a film no just in case he is coming so I’ll be ready with a drink for him. See you later.

Right, I finally had to text him in case he was coming in the early hours but it seems he’s not coming until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest now. Wish I’d known a bit earlier. Still, I can go to bed now.

Young Love

Young Love

Happy as Larry

Happy as Larry

 

Friday. The cat must have decided no to face the big snake again and allowed me to sleep this morning until 5.20 am. When I did wake there was the sound of birds and the lack of a sound of rain. Perhaps a little early for me to expect sunshine though. After nipping to the loo I turned on the computer and went straight to the forecast. Possible light showers, but for the weekend- sunshine and warmth. I can cope with that. I spent the morning wrapping up the mail ( nice paper and pretty bows) and tweeting as much as I could for my fellows as I’d no idea what time Mike would be free after taking his grandson to the doctor’s. At 11.00 am  I got the usual text, ON WAY. “Great” I replied, “call in for some baps and milk on the way please.” That’s so a certain idle beggar didn’t have to go out. I had at least got dressed. At midday I had a ham bap for lunch with a packet (small) of cheddars. I followed that with a strawberry youghurt ( part of my 5  a day) which was in turn followed by a chocolate mallow and a sleep. I didn’t kip for long as my brain knew the remarks that would follow if Mike found me like that. I went through to keep as up to date as possible before he arrived.

That event happened at 1.50 pm when he came in swinging my milk like there was a butter shortage. I made a coffee for him and provided a ham bap to keep him going then we went off to say our goodbye’s to Daniel. Mike had said he was due to finish at 4.00 pm but Manager’s Perks were in play. When we arrived at 2.40 pm he was practically out the door. We both shook his hand ( though not at the same time) and I asked Mike to pass over the card we’d done. Mike said I had it. Typical ! Mike asked Daniel where he’d be working and said it wasn’t so we could get the card to him, it was for future use so we could harass and insult him. We stayed long enough for a coffee, had a look for another pair of shoes for Mike, which we didn’t find and came home.

I did a little more mail then we watched an Antique Road Trip . I guessed he was probably peckish by then so I made him a meal of new potatoes, lamb shank and petit pois. For some reason we sat chatting and half watching TV until 9.00 pm when I decided to come through and concentrate on the mail . I realised I’d forgotten all about a shower and in that case didn’t want to sit with myself. I reached a point where I thought I could risk a short break and while Mike was watching football and went to take a shower. Before I did Mike broke off from the game ( kindly I thought) as full time had been called and washed my hair. After the shower I came through to get into my lounge (lizard) pants and a t-shirt and take up where I left off. It’s now getting late and I fancy a quick read before getting up for shopping. So I bis you all goodnight and sweet dreams.

Nursery play

Nursery play

Saturday. Look, if you must have a cup of tea get it now. I want to be sure you’re sitting down before we start. My lawyer says there’s no chance of conviction for causing you injury after that warning. I’d finished my mail by 7.00 am this morning and gone through to the kitchen. First job turn the light on the fish tank, then turn the kettle on. That had chance to start boiling while I dealt with the chemist shop before me. It didn’t take long to boil so I made a coffee for Mike and took it through to his room. “Coffee’s up ” I called as usual. “RightfinethankyouverymuchassoonasIhavemyhaton,tattoos” came the reply so I left him to it. I made my own coffee in the wonder machine which his fussiness doesn’t like and went back through to my room to refresh the mail. I was about to start when I hear a strange sound, it rung a faint bell of recognition in my head but I couldn’t place it.I went to check . It’s at this point you need to be sitting or just skip this paragraph. Michael was walking through to the lounge and his alarm clock hadn’t even rung !!!! His eyes were open and he was carrying his coffee. He was even wearing clothes so as not to scare the horses.

Having got up without the clock and without force by me didn’t seem to have helped much as it was still almost 8.00 am before we left the house. I thought we’d decided that we’d go shopping at Morrison’s at Broughton then head to Broughton Retail Park to see if we could find Mike a pair of shoes like he got last week but in a different colour. Perhaps I should have included the car in the discussion as it headed straight for Broughton Park.  Because the bulk of shops weren’t open I decided to do most of the shopping at Tesco’s instead. We managed to knock a fair few things off the list and headed for the tills. We loaded the conveyor, Mike in his OCD lines and me in my more haphazard way of heaviest to the front, lightest to the back. We both packed the bags ready opened in the trolley then as I said I’d nip to the downstairs loo Mike said he’d take the shopping to the car. I suggested we meet by the door so we could go upstairs for a coffee and for Mike to check out the TV’s. He agreed. I stood by the door for an age till I saw him outside enjoying a cigarette. He’d forgotten. I left him to finish the ciggie and follow me upstairs which he did and shot past me saying he was headed for the loo. I headed for the cafe to order the drinks.

Mike returned from the loo before I’d been served and took over. As he came over with the drinks, he saw me pocket two sachets of sugar that I’d found lying on the table. He told me I’m a tea-leaf and he’s going to report me. We finished the drinks and looked at TV’s, some good offers but not quite what he wanted so we left and continued the journey looking for his shoes. No joy there either. A stroll back to the car and we headed off to Morrison’s to get the last of the main shopping, and much more importantly, the brand of cigarettes we both smoke. From there we headed for Flint to restock my ice lollies, the pizzas and the micro chips. Strangely we didn’t go for coffee at Temptations today. We headed home instead and Mike had a coffee after we’d unpacked the bags. I started work on my emails and Mike did Julia’s flowers which took 4 vases today. It was getting a bit late now at gone 1.00 pm so we headed off for lunch.

When we arrived at the Ivy dear Angie, my sophisticated lady was looking harassed. It seemed quite busy even though our eats were free. It was a couple of minutes before we saw Tariq who came over to give hugs and to tease Mike saying he’d hit problems with a top for a fish tank he ‘s been making. He whispered in my ear that it wasn’t true, before telling us to follow him to his workroom. It was a beautiful job and Mike was rightly thrilled but hen he got a taste of my medicine when he asked Tariq “How much?” You can imagine Tariq’s reply from the problems I have with him every week. We went back through to the cafe and I put in the order for the meals- plus puddings and drinks. To try and circumvent problems later when the bill gets lost I asked Tariq to let me pay now. £5 he said. Suggesting he look for the other brain cell I put £20 on the counter and said any change is a tip. The man is amazing. Things in the cafe eventually became quieter and Angie looked lass stressed than earlier. I’m glad a s she’s a nice lady. Mike and I enjoyed the main meal and I went to the counter to pick up the puddings. No-one was around for a few minutes until the lovely Shella came through.We had a few minutes conversation before Tariq came back and dished up the pud. We had that then said goodbye to Angie before leaving. No sign of Tariq so Mike left a payment for the tank lid with her. Sneaky. On the way we found Tariq in one of his workrooms at the back of the building so we didn’t miss our goodbye there.

We had a few minutes in an antique shop on the way home then continued our journey to relax. At least Mike did while I can to catch up on emails before a programme I wanted at 6.00 pm. I stayed there until 9.00 pm when I came back to make sure I had time for emails and the blog this side of midnight. I’ve managed it.

Hope you all have a Wonderful Week.

Driving mISS cRAZY

Driving mISS cRAZY

Food Giggles

Food Giggles

 

 

 

It's hilarious Ma.

It’s hilarious Ma.

Mr Innocence

Mr Innocence

 

Another pint please Barman.

Another pint please Barman.

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