The Unkind Heart & Africa Goes.

Sunday. I know I turned my light out last night a little after 12.15 am. I could hear the film Mike was watching until I drifted away. I woke up again at what I think was 3.00 am but The Sleepless One who Shall Not Be Named swears it was 3.15 am. What’s a quarter of an hour between friends. When I went to the loo not long after I swear someone was asleep though he swears not. I started on the mail and by 5.45 I was almost there and decided I could probably go back to bed for a while. I did nod off and enjoyed a few hours sleep only to find when I got up it was all of 6.21 am  and to add insult to injury that 30 minutes or so had collected me another 42 pieces of post. Still, it’s a Sunday, I have all the time in the world, why worry. I saw to the fish at 7.00 am, took my meds and made myself a coffee. I carried on working , commenting, liking, thanking, in my own little world when all of a sudden an apparition appeared at my door. No, not the ghost of Oscar but Himself. The man who can’t get out of bed without three calls from the alarm clock, a shout from me, a coffee and a bolt of lightning from Zeus himself. It’s 8.21 in the a.m. and he’s trying to give me a heart attack. you can tell he knows what he’s doing to me because this breathless wheeze escapes his mouth that makes him sound like Muttley.

I’m in such shock I let him make his own coffee. I’m thinking of having another mouthwash, purely for medicinal purposes you understand. He chooses that moment to dash off to the bathroom so I just carry on working. The forecast for today is quite good and Mike suggests a car boot. I like the idea but suggest not going to the big one as the ground will be sodden underfoot after yesterdays downpour. Instead there’s a smaller one fairly local which is on hardstanding so he agrees to that.We get out about 9.15 am and arrive about 9.40 am. There aren’t as many stalls as I’d hoped and the best bargains might have gone but there’s plenty left. We hit one stall and buy some books, 4 each from a young lady who said she didn’t think she was going to sell any of her books today. Mike said she just hadn’t had discerning readers up till that point as he chose 4 Stephen Donaldson’s, I chose 4 Terry Brooks. I picked up the obligatory picture frame as nowhere would be the same these days if I didn’t buy a frame. I think I’ve more frames than wall now. A couple more books and then something like a doorbell that plays a wicked tune and says Beware at the end because it reminds us of the Addams Family. Finally a computer/office chair which is leather and looks unused. We were done and decided we needed a coffee.

We headed for Flint and stopped at my favourite shop for chocolates on the way. Then a few minutes in a shop with SALE written across the windows of course. Finally we got to Temptations for a drink. He was very disappointed that Ceri wasn’t there to argue with. We enjoyed the drink anyway as it was awfully warm outside and with the chair in the boot we couldn’t have the roof down. So, we took the goodies home swapped chairs. unpacked the rest of the stuff locked up again and took the old chair to the skips. Once disposed of we headed off to the Ivy for lunch and to see if Tariq and the family had managed to get their holiday after all. Mike’s earlier attempt to kill me finally caught up with me in the car. They had managed to get away and we were both pleased. Despite the weather it was busy there and poor Angie was suffering, rushed off her feet and very warm. She refused all offers of help from us though. At least she had help in the kitchen. We got our drinks and lunch followed not long after. As usual we enjoyed it very much. Because things were so busy we decided not to hang around so expecting to get away without any argy bargy I went to pay. I hadn’t reckoned on Angie who was adamant I should pay the bill and nothing more who hadn’t reckoned on me who said I always leave a tip to show my appreciation and Suck It ! I won I’m glad to say. If they weren’t worthy of a tip I’d be a lot meaner.

We went home and Mike loaded the car with his suitcase in preparation for the next stage of his journey, to make his Dad suffer like he does me. He tried to persuade me to go to bed but it was a case of Talk to the Hand. I knew there would be a lot of mail. I waved him off and came back where I bumped into a neighbour and then came in and started work. 173 (Thanks a lot peeps) which kept me going until 5.45 pm when I needed a break. I took a tablet and had a piece of toast then turned on a film I’m sure they said was by Quentin Tarantino. A young orphan living in a Paris railway station winding the clocks unknown to anyone else. I’m afraid I was done by 6.45 and gave up. Back into battle. At 8.00 pm I went through to take my tabs and found I’d left the fish tank light on. They were out and didn’t seem to mind me seeing them. I turned it off with abject apologies and came through again for the night. I’ve kept apace with the messages so far but have broken off for this so I don’t knmnow how things are now. I’ll go and have one last effort.

We interrupt this broadcast with a Newsflash. Due to the pleading of the Lord Daud fan club, yes both of them The Snail and East Of Malaga I now have to shock some of you who have a delicate spirit. They require proof that I have indeed purchased and genuinely worn my Mr Men lounge pants. I am going to spare you as much as I can but it was necessary to take a selfie of just one leg. Look away now Ethel.

Stand near the fridge so you don’t overheat (laughing).

Monday. It was 5.12 am today. I consider it a lie-in and a treat.I know I’d been dreaming and as I went through to go to the loo I leaned in to the big bedroom to say something to Ju. It was deflating to see the bed empty and for a second or two I didn’t understand. I suppose it’s just as well Mike wasn’t there or I may have woken him burbling some nonsense or other. Going back to the bedroom and the new computer chair that also catches me out because I go to lean on the arm as I’m used to doing and it’s about 6 inches lower.I fall over. There was such a lot of mail today that when I went through at 7.00 am to see to the fish I had barely dented them. I went through the usual routine and took my coffee back to the bedroom. ( actually now I’m out of bed I should call it the office and make it sound grand).

I’d wrapped most of it up by 9.15 am and went to get washed and dressed so I could take my prescription to the chemist’s. It was really warm out and I was sorry not to have changed to sunglasses. The poor girl I saw in the shop was really warm. Taking a slow walk back was pleasant despite knowing more mail would be waiting. It was. Not a major problem though as today’s pace was going to be slow. At 11.00 am I knocked off for a break and went to see what was on the goggle-box. Sometimes there are interesting programmes on like Who Do You Think You Are. I’m not sure I got as far as turning it on before I nodded off. It was only for 35 minutes but was very welcome. I took my pre-lunch tablet and put some new potatoes on to boil. Cold meat, coleslaw, tomato and wonderful new potatoes. I even managed to stay awake for my antiques prog.

After that it was time to hit the mail again until 2.00 pm when I received a text from Yvonne to say my niece, Mike’s daughter was on her way. She’s over from Poland on a short visit and seeing everyone she can. I have a rough idea how long it takes for a car to get here from Chester so I went outside to meet the car when it was due. Lisa and her son Alex got out and I was amazed how much he’s grown since I last saw him. A quick hug and back inside for drinks and in Alex’s case, liquorice allsorts, chocolate biscuits and an ice lolly. Lisa and I had a good catch up on the rest of her family, especially her mother, and also on her pregnancy since she’s been for a scan. I now know the sex of the baby and can tease Mike since he doesn’t want to know. They stayed with me until almost 5.00 pm then headed off on their next visit. It was lovely to see them.

Next it was back to the dread machine again for an hour. I wanted a break for tea and a little TV so knocked off from 6.00 to 8.00 pm. Unusually for me I watched the news about what’s happening with the plane crash in the Ukraine. I’m devastated for the families of all those killed. I hope they release the bodies soon and treat them with some dignity. I also watched another Antiques Road Trip with two good participants so it was good. Finally at 8.00 pm I turned the box off, took my tablets and came through. I’ve been battling to get straight ever since. Time to have a last go at it before getting some sleep as I’m due out tomorrow to see Yvonne and Reuben.

Tuesday. A 3.50 am day. My pattern seems to have gone to heck just lately but at the end of the day I get up when I get up and that’s that. One day I’m going to surprise Mike and stay in bed longer than him. I started work on the mail and kept an eye on the clock, though I wish I’d taken it with me when I’d gone to the loo. One eye doesn’t improve your aim. At 6.00 am I went through (early) to see to the fish and one of the plecs was dashing about like a mad thing as though he had ants in his pants. At least he settled down to eating when I put the algae wafer in. The plecs are usually very laid back.My favourite fish of all,time (  sorry Olive) was Zippy who I had in a 6 foot tank. He was a rescue pangasius and grew to over 18 inches while I had him. He had to be rehomed with someone with a bigger tank still. He was a catfish and as you can tell from his name was rarely still. But he loved the timbre of my voice ( mahogany in case you want to know) and would come to the edge of the tank for me. So beautiful

Pangasius shark

Olive on the other hand was an oscar I had in a tank in my bedroom. She had a face only  a mother ( or me) could love with a big bottom lip like she was sulking.Very, very powerful musculature. She was about 8 inches long when one night I woke to a crash and she’d jumped, thrown the double lid off the tank and landed on the bed with me. She was actually bleeding from contact with the lid but she survived. If I was working and ignoring her she pick gravel from the bottom of the tank in her mouth and spit it at the glass until I paid attention. A few words, a stroke and she was fine again for a while. On the other hand Ju had Ollie, Olive’s nemesis in a tank in her room. They were hell if kept together. And he’d wait for Ju to put her hand in to clean the tank and he’d go for her. More than once he drew blood the little so and so, but Ju adored him.

Olive. Ollie was darker with black streaks.

Ju had 7 tanks in total with all sizes of fish from a 20 inch catfish to a half inch neon. Eventually her arthritis + caused so much trouble she couldn’t manage anymore and we rehomed the fish and the tanks bar the small 32 x 12 x 18 tank I have now with the last 5 fish.

Anyhoo, I fed the monsters, had a piece of toast, took my meds and brought a coffee through. It was now about 6.30 am so I washed and dressed. I shot through the rest of the post as quickly as possible so when 7.25 came I was almost there. I put ‘puter into a deep sleep, got my backpack on , grabbed the bag of things I couldn’t get in the backpack and headed off for the bus stop.  I was there in plenty of time as the bus was late. The usual driver wasn’t there but hearing someone chatting to this driver I found out he’s on a fortnights holiday in Sunny Scotland. The journey wasn’t bad in that we made up the lost time but that meant a very jerky Brands Hatch journey. Then when we reached Chester the man turned left instead of right and lost me completely. Eventually I got off in the main street by M & S and had to rush to meet Yvonne. At least she’d gone to the cafe when I said I was late and wasn’t waiting at the bus terminal. I was glad of my latte when I got there. Reuben was smiles all round at fist but a little tetchy later and it looks like apart from having been poorly his mouth is under assault from new teeth again. At least he was fine for me while Yvonne looked at all the new stuff I’d bought him. There were the usual moans to ignore of course.

We left there and went looking round H & M where for once I didn’t find anything for him. I didn’t in NEXT either though I did manage to get Ugo something, and stroppy madam bought herself something. We shopped for food, had a nice drink sitting outside a cafe, I had a milk shake. Eventually I did find something for Reuben and for Yvonne too and two more things for Ugo. Nothing for me today though. After the last shop I decided to go home while Yvonne went and got ready for work. She was swapping the care of Reuben with Ugo at the door of her work and Ugo was coming with him to me. When they arrived Ugo brought me the jacket that Yvonne had scored over me with. A match for last weeks waistcoat. Wonderful, but now I have to start plotting again. Ugo bought a chippie tea, I had sausage with mine, also gravy and mushy peas. I was very careful with the eating as it now looks as though I’ll have a mouth ulcer next. I think I’m run down even though I haven’t stood in front of Mike.

They left about 6.30 pm and I attacked the 184 messages and am still working on them without even a quiz tonight. Do I hear an Awww?

Wednesday. It was an amazing 6.05 am today, nearly 6 full hours with no middle of the night visits. It didn’t help clear the mail though. At 7.00 am I went through to th kitchen having barely made a dent in it. The cory and two of the plecs were waiting so I didn’t keep them waiting long.  I had some toast and my tabs then as usual took my coffee back to the bedroom. The coffee seemed to have the opposite effect to it’s reputation,  I was continually leaning forward and nodding off over the keyboard. It was so bad at 8.00 am I even went back to bed and did fall asleep. I was back up at 8.35 am though. Thst little boost didn’t do the job and I was still nodding so decided it was time for some fressh air and went to Pauline’s for my TV mag.  I did feel better when I came back but I was back dozing at the desk before 10.00 am. If a man falls asleep at his desk and there’s no-one around to hear him, does he really snore? Of course not.

The mail was roughly up to date by 10.55 am so I went and sat in my chair in the lounge. Big mistake, its hot today and the sun is streaming in. Within minutes I’m asleep again, When I finally come to it’s lunchtime and I turn on the TV for the antiques show while I eat. I wash the pots and sit down again.  There’s a very strange feeling in my chest like something about to happen but I’m not sure what. The pain isn’t like my angina and the tightness isn’t there. A quirt of my nitro doesn’t do much except give me a headache but by then I’m asleep yet again. It was gone 2.00 pm before I went back to the computer and Oh No, the inbox is full again. I had to stay there until 5.15pm before I got up to date. A few minutes after I’d finished Lee arrived.He’ working from home at the moment and really under pressure. Dil and Matt turned up about 5.30 pm so the crowd all here. I wait until the quiz on TV finished before I bring the card table out and crikey, that hurts. I can’t let Dil do it ass he’s hurt his back and he’d have to move if I got one of the boys to do it.

I decided we’re playing Yahtzee first and that turns out to be a big mistake as my brother who whinged about losing last week gets 3 yahtzees in the first game. While I score less than 200 points having lost my bonus up top, his score is over 600. We play four rounds of this with each of us starting in turn. I did manage one Yahtzee in total but no-one can catch Dil up. The game took quite a while and as we finished Dil suggested Cribbage in pairs. We managed 3 games with Dil and Matt taking 2 to Lee’s and my 1. So perhaps not my best night at games but at least there was some laughter when Lee obviously making allowances for the rate of inflation starts counting Sixteen for one, sixteen for two……. because he’s a novice at crib there was some hilarity when we came out with One for his knob and two for his ball and bat. From now on I think we’ll stick to plain counting. They all left at 9.30 pm and I tidied up and washed pots before coming through to do battle. It’s been hell. The pain is still there, the pain of losing never goes away and now I think I’ve got RSS in my wrists from typing. I hope you all had a nice Wednesday.

I don’t seem to be able to paste a video for you tonight, Sorry.

 

Thursday. I repeated the 6.05 am again this morning. This time there seemed to be less effort staying awake doing the mail even though there was another boring message from Burkina Faso  about my millions and a clever one purporting to be from MBNA on behalf of Virgin credit cards. It might have fooled me if I’d had an account with them. The fish seemed quite happy to see me at 7.00 am which is worrying, I know where I am when they’re angry with me- usually a long distance away. I had the usual toast and my tablets then took the coffee back to work. At some point I got dressed and went for fresh baps. Oh my, it’s like being in the middle of the Nevada Desert with the sun beating down unmercifully on my head and me crying out for a cooling drink, but the pubs aren’t open yet so I go home instead.

I wasn’t sure if someone from the chemist might call this morning so I didn’t hesitate much to open the front  door part way. It was a mistake. There were two people, an elderly gentleman and a very pretty lady who did the talking. She’s been before so bear this in mind. As always the conversation started pleasantly, as always I retreat into an utter wreck, shaking and stuttering for Britain. That I’m in difficulties and distress must be obvious. Trouble is I’m not impolite so even if I could have said “Get lost” I wouldn’t. I’m sure there Jehovah’s Witnesses are lovely people out of uniform but it seems once they don the jackboots everyone is fair game. At some stage I was asked some innocuous question to which I was able to answer “But I don’t believe in God” though you’ll have to add a lot more random D’s and B”s to that sentence to get the gist of how it sounded. She asked whether I was perhaps an evolutionist then to which I was able to nod though at this point I was more inclined to go for the Glasgow Kiss in which I’m sure Seumas can educate you. The , “We’ll go in a minute and let you get on” was followed by reading some passages from the bible which were meant to show God was responsible for building my bungalow and for the landscaping. After leaving me some booklets to look at they finally left and my doorstep was clear. I bet if someone was coming from the chemist they took one look, laughed and ran off. I’ve  known them for over 5 years and would have been able to talk yet these people tried to make me talk despite the obvious difficulties. I told you to bear in mind the woman had been here before. I managed to tell her last time how difficult it is for me to face new people, to talk to them. I hardly ever open the door to them s I’m beggared if that fella from Burkina Faso ever hand delivers my cash. Yet because this woman , this church, feels the need to invade people’s space they’ll come again and again. Little wonder that people can be rude to them. I swear I’m going to reopen the Buthidar church and go into competition with them. A ‘One Size Fits All’ anti-religion where tolerance, respect, equality, love and above all Hugs is the order of the day.

For lunch I had bangers, new potatoes and peas. I watched the first medal in the Commonwealth Games fall to a Brit (OK, she was English but there were no Welsh contestants). It was for the triathlon and she was magnificent. Then it was back to work to make up for my unscheduled stop. I did have an hours sleep to try and help me recover from the discomfort I’m in and perhaps it worked a bit. I worked again except for a gap to have some tea and a break from 5.15 pm to 7.20 pm but no, I wasn’t eating all that time. I came back through to try and keep abreast of the mail ( Oh, I shouldn’t use that word in my state of health- to keep up with the mail is better). I needed to make sure I could  get the post done before having a read. I also want to see if I can understand why youtube is not posting to here anymore.

 

Still having problems with youtube videos I’m afraid.

Friday. It was a 5.54 am day so the times are still hovering around the 6.00 am mark. Perhaps whoever does the book-keeping for the Gods realises they’ve been making an error for a long time and are trying to make it up to me before I go up and complain. As it happens this favour has put the pressure on a bit with mail but we’ll bypass that. The pain in my chest has receded even more it seems. There isn’t much tightness there either now. I still don’t feel like going out and the urge to dress is missing. I worked until 7.30 am before going through to feed the fish, I tell myself it isn’t because I got carried away and forgot but that they’ve had a couple of late nights since I got carried away and forgot.

Being Friday it was also time to do the weekly tablets ( yes, I’d forgotten that too) so I decided to save time by not having breakfast. I’ll just have to remember to eat tea. That took me until 8.30 am when I was able to go back to work with my coffee. I suddenly remembered that my nephew is coming this morning to collect my African art so I break off to go and take it off the shelves and replace it with all the board games that have taken up station next to the cupboard recently. I leave everything laid out neatly on the settee for him as I don’t know how he’ll want to pack it. I decide maybe I’d better get dressed after all but it can wait till I have my breath back so I sit at the computer with the mail for a few minutes that become half an hour. In fact I’ve not long been dressed before he arrives bringing his wife and little girl with him. I haven’t seen them in a while. Of course I’d covered up most of the available seating so we had to find bags to pack everything into. I offered drinks and they got to looking at the now famous photo wall. The photos made us touch on a couple of sore subjects which aren’t easily solved. I was also reminded that next Saturday I’m invited to a party to meet the Great Niece I didn’t know existed until recently.

They left before lunchtime and I had a further go at the mail before breaking off to make something to eat. A small beef joint and some new potatoes today but I couldn’t finish it all. I watched a little of the Commonwealth Games and then my antiques show before deciding to have a snooze. Oddly no text from Mike yet.That came at 1.30 pm and woke me up I’m glad to say. He’s on his way so I’d better make sure the mail is well under control before he gets there so I don’t have to love him and leave him. Given the usual 3 hours I expect him about 4.30 pm. After that time I start to panic but I don’t want to text and disturb his driving. I was in and out of the pit working a lot while waiting. In the end he arrived after 6.00 pm because of traffic problems. We gassed, put the world to rights and watched TV. Then it was time for the ritual hairwash and my shower. The pain was a little more prominent so Mike helped me dry off, at least he said that’s what he was doing when he kept flicking the towel at me. The worst of it was I’d had to sit down on the karsie by then ( lid down people).

I made us a sandwich which we followed up with dark choc ices and we carried on blethering until 9.00 pm when it was my cue to depart. I’ve made a good hole in the mail and managed to do the blog and it’s not yet midnight. Yay, I’m off for a read. Night all.

Saturday. Things must be getting back to normal since it was a 4.59 am day despite having read till well gone midnight last night. Mike was up even later than me watching something on TV . I didn’t even have any wanderings in the middle of the night so was more than ready to get out of bed when I woke. Because I’d finished a little early last night there was an accumulation of mail from yesterday to finish before I got to today’s.  Not that I was too worried as I felt OK at that stage. At about 6.45 am I went through to the kitchen to shine a light on my fishy friends and to take my tablets. I was on my way out to check I had enough tabs to take out in my little pillbox when Mike’s alarm went off. I turned on my heel and went back to make a drink for him.  Once done I followed the well trodden path of taking it through and a little louder than necessary, announcing it’s arrival.I checked the pillbox and went back to the kitchen to get my own drink and to empty the bins. Yeah, I nearly emptied the damned things all over the floor when I saw this apparition sitting in Mike’s chair, holding Mike’s coffee and having the cheek to light one of his cigarettes. Not even a second alarm. The little beggar even had the impudence to smirk at me. I almost changed my mind and emptied the rubbish over him except I didn’t fancy the job of cleaning up afterwards. Instead I asked him to put new bags in the bins while I took the full ones out. Then I put the recycling bags out , washed my hands and nipped back to my room to check the mail. Just 6 so I rattled them off and took my drink through to the lounge to keep Mike company ( If it was really him).

With a little gentle cajoling and some outright sarcasm I got him to get ready to go out and we beat our previous best by a few minutes arriving at the Supermarket by 8.05 am. After getting the jackpot on the ATM again we started shopping. There wasn’t a great deal to do but there was a lot of ground to cover so it took a while. We had a coffee afterwards and mine was one of those cold frappe ones with loads of ice so he sat watching me like a hawk hoping I’d get brain freeze. From there we headed to Flint as I’d heard one of our shops has a special on furniture at the moment and I was hoping to get a big brother for the micro bookshelves I bought recently. No joy I’m afraid but we both came out with some unnecessary clothing that was too good a bargain to miss. Then it was time to witness the sexual innuendo and affectionate banter between Mike and our Ceri in Temptations. I swear there are customers on a Saturday morning who just go in to listen to those two charge their horses at each other in joust. It’s almost like peeping through the nets at something naughty happening on the lawn only to find the nets are too thick so you end up having to imagine it. She’s an absolute dream though and so funny.

From there we went home to unpack. I was hoping to see to the mail before we went out again but somehow we ended up on Facebook trying to befriend Ceri and finding she doesn’t have a friend request box anywhere and believe me we looked. I’ll have to wait till we see her and ask her to befriend me instead. By the time we’d both given up in disgust it was time to go for lunch and we were looking forward to finding out if Tariq managed to get the family passports sorted in time to go on holiday. He appeared delighted to see us when we walked in and came round the counter to give us hugs. I still don’t know many men who aren’t afraid to do that. After that Shella came out and passed me a bag which contained some sticks of rock they’d brought back after I’d joked with Tariq about it. I didn’t expect they’d be able to get rock abroad and so was only teasing him. We all burst out laughing but I managed to get a hug and kiss from Shella. I put the chocolates on the counter for Angie, she’s done a great job while they were away. Tariq made our drinks and took the food order while Mike and I went outside into the beautiful sunshine for a cigarette. Lunch didn’t take very long when we were inside. Afetr we’d finished we had a long chat with Tariq and then Shella came to talk to us too. It’s like going to a friends house for lunch. Fortunately as it came time to leave I was able to give the money to Shella who doesn’t argue with me even though she passed it to Tariq I was OK as he was busy with someone else.

As we left I was expecting to head home to do my mail but Mike expressed a wish to go to Llandudno to see our friend. I could hardly refuse so Mike phoned him and turned left out of the gate. The journey was a little short of an hour and we got there to listen to the story of the woman upstairs who’s harassing him for having a dog when she has a cat.I used the term woman instead of lady as I’ve heard some of the language she uses which puts me to shame. We decided to go out for a drink instead of sitting inside in all the heat. That’s probably the last time today I’ll rub it in about our weather . We got to a parking space and walked round to a cafe where I ordered a milkshake it being to warm for coffee…I thought. The sun was shining down but this Queen of Resorts is famous for being a windy city and it’s reputation was well deserved today. The wind was colder than the milkshake, I held the cup to keep warm. When we finished and defrosted, moving back into the sunlit streets without wind it was glorious again. We dropped Brian off at home again and started our own journey so we arrived back at about 6.00 pm. I’ve been in here ever since apart from a ten minute break to wash some pots and to put Ju’s new flowers into vases for her. It’s now getting late.

At the Zoo

At the Zoo 2

 

Banana Boat Song Anyone?