A Tablet too big to Swallow & Clock That

Sunday. Un-flipping-believable. After the excitement of last night and counting the generation down from me in my nephews house (Shudder) I woke up this morning at 3.51 am. By the time 6.00 am came round I was almost up to date with work and considered trying a kip in my chair for an hour. Ha Ha, the gods do like to extract the Michael don’t they. I accidentally refreshed the mail box and between 4.00 and 6.00 am there were a further 73 messages. Don’t you lot ever sleep?  I carried on until    7.00 am then feeling rather grumpy ( yes Grumpypants time again) I went to feed the fish. My attitude was that they’d better behave today if they wanted to be fed. They did, they were. I took my meds, decided against breakfast so just made a coffee to take back to my room with me. There’s not much chance Mike will want one yet.

At 8.00 am Mike’s alarm went off surprisingly. I don’t know whether he had visions of a car boot this morning but though the sun is out there’s a real nip in the air. I needn’t have worried, he turned the alarm straight off and turned over. I just carried on working. I was actually just coming to an end at 9.30 am when I heard him padding out of his room. I hope he remembered his slippers as he cut his nails in the lounge last night and maintains they’re tougher than mine. I made him a coffee and listened for the screams. He showed absolutely no interest in getting dressed or doing anything. I’d had a session of getting a song (or 2?) stuck in my head and couldn’t remember who it was by. I’d had no luck at finding it using the lyrics (I thought) I had and thought I’d try accessing his extensive musical brain catalogue ( Heaven knows there’s nothing else like sense that comes from up there so maybe the catalogue is true). Anyway. I told him thus…… It’s a pop record, in my head it sounds like it’s someone like Paul Young. all I seem able to remember is it roughly goes ‘Let my people go’, then there’s a chorus like ‘In the hands of the children’. I may have got two songs mixed up though. His brain was no help at all so he decided to repeat the lyric search I’d done and brought up lots of songs with ‘Let my people go’ in them. He played them all from Paul Robeson onwards asking “Is this the one?” to which I’d answer “Does that sound like a pop song?” Like a dog with a bone he wouldn’t let go. I went to my room and did a search of ‘In the hands of the Children” and came up with No Parlez by…Paul Young. It was the song but I’d certainly invented the Let my people go bit.

By now there’s no time to do anything so I asked if on the way to lunch we could call into somewhere just to price up their bookcases. “Sure” he said” all you have to do is tell if you want to do something.” “I’d rather ask, and I just did” I said. “Of course we can then”I got back. So at 11.30 am we finally got dressed and just before midday headed out. The cheapest bookcase there (though very nice) was £130. I’ll be going back to Argos I think. After there we headed straight off for lunch. Poor Angie looked a bit harassed and said there’d been a bit of a rush on. I don’t know if it’s something we said but things were quiet soon after we walked in. I placed the chocolates on the counter and she asked if we wanted the usual drinks.

Our regular seats were free so we were able to settle with the menu, though to be honest I would have preferred a meal. The drinks came and I took my pre-food tab and made ready to order. I’d asked Mike twice what he wanted but he seemed to be lost in space somewhere. I reminded him I’d had the tab and must eat within 15-20 mins so he snapped out of it and ordered. I was going to have some healthy bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches until Mike reminded me I’d probably have a sandwich at teatime so I had a big breakfast with an order of chips to share with Mike . It’s his fault. Tariq came over and had a few laughs with us then seeing the sunshine outside we went for a pre-lunch smoke. You really wouldn’t think the morning had been miserable with rain it was really hot in the sunshine. We came back in and ate. A lovely meal though for me it was very filling today. We joked around a bit more with Tariq and Shella then I got Angie to do the bill on the till while Tariq was otherwise occupied. I left plenty. Thinking that was that we started to leave and Angie came over to try and make me take the change despite my argument that I leave it as a tip. I’m having to run from her now too.

Mike ran me home, put is suitcase in the boot hugged me and left. I went straight on the computer. I was focusing when I jumped out of my skin as the door opened. It was him again. He’d only reached the end of the road before the urge for the loo hit him. He’s piggin’ lucky I didn’t hit him too. I worked till 5.00 pm and then went through for a break. I had some tea which I can’t describe to you or I’m likely to get arrested by the health police. Diabetic bah! I saw there was a film at 7.20 so came back to work until then. I sometimes don’t know why I bother.I think it was called Little Nick and ‘starred’ Adam Sandler. I didn’t last till 7.45 pm. I’m going to be polite and say Not my cup of tea rather than use some of the words I think it deserves and which might shock me if I use them. By 8.00 am I was back in here so tonight I’ve done the blog early and then I can do some mail but call it quits whenever I want to read.

Food gone, plate next!

Food gone, plate next!

See Mum, I've licked the pattern off it.

See Mum, I’ve licked the pattern off it.


Monday. Gordon Bennett, what’s happening?  It was 3.58 am when I looked at the clock this morning. I blinked and it was now 4.50 am. I was more tired than I had been the first time I looked. It’s obviously heavy work blinking. Yet I was in bed for 11.00  pm last night. I grant you I was reading but even so……  I made a strong start on my mail by deleting the first two in the queue when I saw they were addressed to ‘Dearest’ which is an indication that someone is out to con me.I wonder who told the conmen that it’s an appropriate form of address from one person to another and a male at that. Still, maybe that’s what bank managers in Burkino Fasso actually do to their customers. “I’m sorry Joshua Dearest but you can’t have a loan, how about entering a fraud with me. Oops no, you’re not in the UK are you. Bugger off.” I paused for a break at 6.15 am to fool the fish . When I turned the light on I had a shock, the fan tail was in the corner staring at me, and right next to him was his twin. It took me moments to realise I could see him from two different angles but I bet you he knew all along. Probably trying for twice the food.

I had my tablets etc and a slice of toast then decided to take my coffee through to work. OMG, a flippin’ great Septimus crossed my path. It was bigger than that one in the cave on Harry Potter. Bigger even than a tarantula. My hands already shake but have you ever tried jumping on a chair while carrying a coffee? It was like trying to contain a tidal wave within my mug. But, no need to polish the floors for another month, I didn’t spill anything even though the liquid would have kept the dust down. I looked around carefully to make sure the Septimus was not between me and the door and legged it. Well, that was the kick start my heart needed this morning. The problem now is can I get through to the kitchen or the lounge without being caught. Unless I actually see it outside and believe me it could open the front door without help, there’s not much chance of sleep tonight.

At 9.00 am I took my prescription request to the chemist. They often have new people and today there was a young Asian boy looking rather lost. I didn’t have the heart to ask for help though I am worried. There were only 4 items on my request and I’m sure there are usually much more. I’m sure I seemed to be OK for other stuff. Sometimes the prescription requests come back and show the date an item was last issued. That’s great as I can just reorder everything I had to order on the same date last time. The dates were missing this time. I do get confused with my drugs I’m afraid, I take so damned many. The sun was shining despite a poor forecast. Things change so quickly, a few days ago it predicted storms for Tuesday but now it says showers and some sunshine. I’m not going to see Yvonne and Reuben tomorrow so I shall be dry regardless unless it rains all the time Pauline’s is open as I need fresh baps.

I worked until lunch-time then sat watching my Antiques programme with a lunch of braised beef, new (Welsh) potatoes with carrots and peas, followed by a Rolo pudding. After I washed the pots I went back to work until 2.15 pm and thought I’d watch NCIS. I recall seeing little bits of it through frequently closing eyelids. It was a struggle in which I gave way far too easily. It was almost 3.20 pm before I woke. I decided to work on until I was up to date then see if there was anything I wanted on the box. I was up to fate at 6.45 pm. I had the last half of an old Big Bang Theory ( but luckily their best one) and then put on a Murder She Wrote for no other reason than the other choices were worse. At 8.00 pm I was actually glad to turn the box off and come through to battle on. I’ve been reading some amazing information about WWI and the forthcoming celebrations(?)  http://dearkitty1@wordpress.com  has done many posts on it and other subjects, she’s never been known to be boring. There was an excellent one on Nurse Edith Cavell for whom there is to be a £5 commemorative coin. Anyway, plenty to go at. I’ll finish here and go attack it afresh for one last burst.

Tuesday.Before you ask it was 3.47 am today. I got out of bed wide awake and laid into the messages but by 7.00 am I was flagging. How nice a kip would have been just at that moment, but certainly not while the fish wait to be fed. For all I know Septimus is theirs and I don’t want to wake up with him covering my nose and mouth as a warning. That was the spider decider so I went and fed the fish. It seemed pointless going in and not taking my meds which in turn seemed sill to take them and not take the food one so of course I had to have breakfast which led to two more tablets so I had my coffee and went back to my room. By  now of course I’m totally revived or maybe it’s more honest to say I’m totally spooked about Septimus in case he’s here still moving furniture around. There was no rush to get dressed this morning either since I’m not going to see Yvonne and Reuben. My get up and go has got up and gone.

At 9.00 am I dress and take a walk to Pauline’s for fresh bread and 100 other essentials. It doesn’t take too long and I’m back before the postman comes but heck, no parcel. Unless the van comes later I’ll have to be patient until tomorrow. Odd as it might seem I don’t treat myself very often so this tablet sees a big departure for me. I’m hoping it will stop me having to fret about mail when I’m out. Because this doesn’t have 3G Mike tells me it can’t be used as a phone, I can’t tell you how glad I am about that. The postman does bring me a questionnaire from the local Council though about upgrading their properties. Last year the tenants voted overwhelmingly to stay with the Council rather than a Housing Association. I think the Council were hoping to lose the properties because of the money some of them have to have spent on them and the costs of ongoing maintenance.

A message from Yvonne says she had to shop for a birthday gift without me and she didn’t enjoy it. Honest, I don’t pay her to say these things but I agree, mooching round the shops is better in company. At 12.00 pm I break off for lunch and have some micro chips with some chicken breast and coleslaw. I was able to have one of my nice fresh baps with it and make a great chip butty. Once the antiques programme was done at 1.0 pm I decided to come back to work until 2.15 pm the watch NCIS. I celebrated the decision with a Bourneville Ice Cream lolly. Mmmm, dark chocolate. A choc ice on a stick. I only just made NCIS but saw the title and slept through the rest. It was bound to be a repeat. So it was nearly 3.30 pm before I surfaced again. This time it didn’t take long to catch up so I guess half of you were also having siesta. By 5.00 pm I was able to go and see a new quiz on TV but I was also keeping an eye open for Ugo and Reuben as they’re coming for tea from the Chippie, and NO, I’m not indulging. It was about half an hour later they arrived and I could see through the window ( I must stop cleaning them) that Reuben was fast asleep against his dad’s chest and Ugo was pushing his trolley along. I went to open the door and help. As soon as I spoke to Ugo Reuben stirred, opened his eyes and grinned at me……….in the kind of Oh Goody, a new victim kind of grin. I helped them inside and Reuben was quite happy in my arms as we toured the mirror wall and the wall of photographs. Then like Kali, she of the many arms, he had my glasses. I had to be so fast to rescue them.

Ugo said the chippie was closed so they must be on their hols to China again.He said he could have a (mumble) Wok  later if I could tide him over.

Newsflash: I hope you didn’t hear the scream. I’m typing carefully as my hands are shaking. Septimus just walked in here!!!! Don’t ever try jumping onto a revolving chair. I managed to drop the lid of a spray can on him and slip a business card underneath. He’s now safely outside in the wild, able to terrorise cats, dogs and anyone who walks past.

Returning Reuben to his father I made him a small meal and a cup of coffee. As he was feeding Reuben at the same time I went and scanned some photographs Ugo had brought with him. I managed to sneak a ciggie in too. Then as I finished I took them a block of chocolate to share.Reuben is so close to walking now that sometimes when he lets go of your hands he doesn’t realise he has no support. It’s time either to ban him or move everything out of his reach. Ugo is at the point of fixing gates at home and putting soft corners on things. When they left sometime before 7.00 pm and I’d waved them off ( meaning made sure they’d gone) I at and watched an ancient Murder She Wrote before coming in to work. And there’s plenty of it so please excuse me while I get back to the mail.

Wednesday. I woke at 1.26 am . I was so thrilled that when I got back from the loo I had a little party. Nothing too much, just a drink of pop and a ciggie but at my age that’s enough excitement. I did go back to bed and try again and the next think I knew it was 6.05 am. Whit woo, a lie in! I celebrated further with another visit to the loo and strolled back to turn the computer on.It really didn’t take long to realise what a mistake the stroll was since the mailbox was straining at the seams. “So what” I asked myself being a free agent with nothing on …I’ll rephrase that to no  activities planned in deference to the readers who still follow knock-knock jokes and think tit and bum are hilarious. Oh yes, that’s me isn’t it. I only managed half a dozen messages before it was feeding time at the zoo, or aquarium to be more precise. I wasn’t late so they were obviously not unhappy with me today.

After I’d taken my meds I brought a coffee back to the bedroom and really ploughed into the mail. I was concentrating so hard I nearly shot out of the chair when the postie knocked on the door.It was bound to be something good with him knocking. It’s not ESP that tells me who’s there it’s the orange of the top he wears that gives it away. Two packages, the new tablet and the memory card I’d ordered for it. I stripped the wrapping in no time flat, undid the box and got the tablet out.I went to put it on charge as suggested but it was almost there anyway. In went the memory card and I turned it on. My only complaint despite it being a cheap model was the instruction booklet which was far too small and very thin. Once on I decided to download my pho.tolab app since I find it hard to work it on the phone. Problem was I had to get on the internet first. Therein lay a problem because it was asking for passwords and I had no idea what it wanted. Working very slowly I understood it wanted my internet password from the ISP. It was a long time before realisation hit. Then it wanted my google password so I had to search for that. Eventually I got there and downloaded that app and one more. I was happy now.

Back to work and no more skiving. I worked until lunchtime then had a break. Only coming back through at 2.00 pm. By 3.30 pm I was up to date for now and went to tidy the lounge before my Wednesday visitors. Back here at 4.30 pm and again I shot out of the chair when someone knocked on the door and then came in. It was Lee, nice and early. I went through to join him and get him a drink. Then, before anyone else came, he showed me how to work the camera and where to find the picture. Then on the desktop he showed me how to circumvent this problem wordpress has created with youtube downloads. I’ll be trying it in a minute. Dil and Matt arrived at almost 6.00 pm so we set up for playing as I made them drinks. We reverted to the original scrabble game first and it must be the longest game I’ve ever played as there was so much chatter and laughter.The laughter came to a sudden halt when I threw a tantrum over losing. It was Matt’s game. In fairness I should point out he was also doing the scoring for me since everyone thinks my shaking hands are hilarious. On to nomination next and poor Lee had to leave when we’d barely started as he’d promised his wife to be out just a couple of hours. A bit of jiggery-pokery and confusion about deals left me the winner there by a HUGELY convincing margin. I’m not bragging though in case winning has a detrimental effect on my health. My friend Laurie points out I had angina last week when winning and they may be connected but I’m more likely to believe that my brother will kneecap me. I made another drink while we set up for crazy 8’s. Dil started well, I was succeeding towards the middle but at the end Matt won. Yes, it was the scorer again.

Dil and Matt left just gone 9.30 pm so it was a quick tidy up. A wash of the pots ( just the dirty ones, not all of them), my evening meds then back to my room to hope I’ll see my bed before midnight. I think I’m just going to make it.

Thursday. A slightly more normal 4.23 am today. I know from the past with Julia that I often stop breathing while asleep and can suddenly wake up with a big gasp. I do remember doing so and it came as no surprise today when a friend suggested sleep apnoea might be one of the causes for my waking so early. Maybe I’m just afraid to go back to sleep? Ach, living alone isn’t easy sometimes. On the one hand there’s no-one to drag me off the computer and tell me I’ve been there too long. On the other, eating alone, especially my own cooking is no fun.

I started on the emails which were plentiful, all the while glancing over at the tablet thinking how nice it would be to get a play with some photographs since that was one reason for buying it. I made a bold decision, I have two email addresses, maybe I could open the second one on the tablet and answer them from there. I determined to do so as it would make answering them on the go easier. As soon as I reached a point of being up to date with the first batch, which turned out to be 6.15 am, I went to see to the fish (early) and fooled them, took my meds, had the usual toast and made a medium roast coffee to take through and made a start. It didn’t take long to open my google mail account and start answering the mail there. Some was a duplicate of what goes into mu normal mail so I was able to delete that and by 8.00 am I felt I deserved a little treat. I know I could attach my tablet to the computer and download some pictures but instead I copied what I wanted and emailed them to myself. Working on the bigger screen was fantastic, so much easier than the phone. Here’s what I started with.

My Sister,done for my Nieces.

My Sister,done for my Nieces.


My Nieces.

My Nieces.

It was great fun but I now had a backlog in my normal email box. There will be more playtime I’m sure as soon as the boss (conscience) isn’t watching. I was doing pretty well by 9.30 am and got myself dressed and trotted (HA) off to Pauline’s for ciggies, fresh baps and my lottery tickets. Somehow a renegade box of Maltesers jumped into my hand too, I thought I’d better buy them. At home again I made a concerted effort to finish the mail in both boxes and allowed myself one last play.

Mike reflected in the eye of his pet Dragon.

Mike reflected in the eye of his pet Dragon.

I forced myself to stop and went to get fresh bedding out for his arrival tomorrow. I’ll change both beds first thing in the morning I think. Lunchtime was fast approaching so I did a couple of things in the lounge  then made myself pizza and chips (micro) with a fresh bap. Tomorrow I’ll make myself behave and have some new potatoes instead or maybe a cold meat salad ( I just threw that in to appease a friend who hates my eating habits).My Bargain Hunt was on so I sat and enjoyed that while I ate. After I’d done the washing up I came back to my chair to finish the programme and just slept the meal off instead.

After waking I had a lot of catching up to do again which was fine since I felt I”d already cheated on the day. I just took my own sweet time and worked until I was done. Since it was almost 5.00 pm I called a halt and went to watch a new quiz called 21 Questions I’m trying to get the hang of since I see the same faces popping up daily. It looks like they might be on a week at a time to give them all opportunity to reach the jackpot point. I find it quite unfair as they work their way to that point amassing money as they go but are asked a question at the end to see if they can have half that amount or answer more questions to be able to win the whole amount?? It seems a lot of extra work to win a modest £2500 or so that you think they’ve already won. After that it was another repeat of a recently shown  Law and Order so I turned over to another quiz against a team of TV quiz winners like Mastermind and Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The challengers didn’t win. I started an interesting programme about women running trains during WWI but didn’t see the end through closed eyelids. I came to (guiltily) at just after 7.30 pm and came straight back through to catch up onn mail and leave you with today’s post. I hope your day has been as pleasant as mine.

Friday. Jumpin’ Jehosaphat  it was 6.17 am today. I know I was reading late last night but this is like twice my normal sleep time. I though I’d gone into hibernation but believe me there were no nuts in bed. Mike’s been telling me to grow a pair for years. I had a short bast at the post before going through to the fish. I didn’t have time to notice if they were sulking or happy today as it was time to do my drugs and I was anxious to see whether I’d cocked things up. Things seemed to be OK so I’m guessing I didn’t. I have to hope there’s enough for another week of the ones I didn’t do this week.  Having wasted so much time I decided not to bother with toast and went straight for the next stage, taking a coffee back to my room. 

Surprisingly the mail wasn’t as heavy as I feared but it turned out to be stuff that required attention and couldn’t be deleted straight away. I didn’t mind as many of them were from friends whose blogs I follow.By 9.30 am I was almost on a par so was able to go and make Mike’s bed and but a load of washing on then come back and make mine so I had a second load for tomorrow after I’ve changed tonight. I’m afraid that despite countless lessons my bedmaking skills must still be comic. I drifted through most of the morning playing catch up and reminiscing about the days I was nimble enough just to play catch.

Lunchtime came and I opened the packet of bacon I’ found in the freezer. It promised 6 rashers which in all honesty there were, no argument about that. However they’d been sliced with a razor blade and I think looking at a match would crisp them up. I put some new potatoes on, set the bacon under the grill and opened a tiny tin of beans. It was delicious. I washed the pots and settled down to siesta. I did have the antiques programme on in case I stayed awake. Ha ha what a comedian. I was away in zero seconds flat. The soft hum of Z’s drifting through the room for a couple of hours. Catching up on emails took a bit longer after that. I broke off at 5.00 pm for a sandwich  and stayed to watch the quiz that confused me yesterday. I’m still confused…You win an amount in a quiz. Why would you then answer questions to allow you to leave with half your winnings? More questions to leave with what you should already have won and more questions to try for double the amount but one wrong question means you get nowt! I then watched another quiz just for the heck of it before going back to the mail for a half hour. Up to date once again I decided to go for a shower. I just checked my phone first and found a message from Mike saying he”d be here within the hour. I’d just typed a message back when he walked through the door. Perfect timing. I put the kettle on for him then he washed my hair before I had a shower. I went through to join him while he told me about his week.

At 9.00 pm I left him to watch a comedy while I came back top assault the mail and the blog. It’s hard going sometimes but the new blog is picking up a bit. I hope anyone interested in writing a piece reflecting their opinions on world peace, bullying or taking care of the planet feels free to do so unless that point of view is pro-war or offensive towards others. Hugs.

Saturday. 4.24 am saw me heading for the loo wide awake. It really was just as well since my hands were shaking quite badly this morning.When I started the mail I had to keep going back on my responses as it looked like my keyboard was stuttering. It was Ggggggggood Mmmornnning, oh heck it’s lunchtime now! There was no point in going back to bed as I wanted to be as clear as possible before we went out. I managed Round 1 by 6.30 am and went through to the kitchen. Yes the light went on early on the fish tank, but I was kneeling on the floor and reached up for the switch as I wasn’t going to feed them today. I backed away carefully before standing up so I didn’t have to face them. First job after that was to clear the bins as it was a main collection day. Recycling, tins, plastic bottles, paper/card, glass and food are collected every week but the household rubbish is collected fortnightly.  I dealt with all the little bins into the big one and then got everything out being very careful not to make a noise- like it would have made the slightest difference. Once I came back in and washed my hands I was able to take my meds including a food one. I decided on a piece of toast for speed as I had no idea what time we’d eat.I had a cigarette to eat up some of the time I needed before eating and put the toast on as I made my coffee. 

I decided against jam today but slathered the toast in butter till my moustache gleamed. I took the two after meal torpedoes and carried my coffee very carefully back to the bedroom. to listen for Mike’s alarm.I’d flicked the kettle before I left the kitchen ( It’s seeing a lawyer and suing me for physical abuse). I’d just parked my bum when the alarm went off. He wasted no time stopping it. I made his coffee and took it through rallying my cheeriest “Coffees up bro.” That went down like a lead balloon eliciting little more than a grunted “Bggr off.” Not totally unexpected I went back to work and waited for the second ring. It wasn’t forthcoming so at 7.20 am I went through again to point out the coffee was getting cold. The response was better with lots of sitting up and lying down and a “righto” somewhere in there. I left and returned to work again. At 7.40 am I made a decision to try one last time and if it didn’t work I’d just leave him. He obviously needed the sleep. This time I just called from the door, “Too late, the drink’s cold bro.” He sat up, swivelled somehow and swung his legs out of bed. All the time chunnering “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t know it was so late, oh dear, sorry, what is it?” I only had two mesaages left to do so I finished those and went through to the lounge where he was sitting, cold coffee in hand lighting a cigarette.

We got out of the house by a miraculous 8.05 am and reached the shops in virtual silence. I did keep checking to make sure he hadn’t nodded off again. The expedition itself didn’t take too long as I’ve decided food must be fattening and I’m giving it up. We had time for a coffee before we left for the next step. I needed a couple of things from Flint and so did Mike so we parked up and for the sake of the loo went for a drink at Temptations first. I ordered and passed over the chocs to Trudy while Mike paid his visit. From there we went to pick up the things we needed. That’s two shops and we hadn’t reached the second one before Mike was off again. I took my time so we could go in together when he got back. When we’d got what we wanted we headed for the freezer shop for ice lollies etc. Mike helped me by picking a few items he fancied to then told me I was the one putting the stuff in the freezer at home. Heartless beggar.We got home, unpacked and put away- yes, I did get freezer duty. Then I went back to work on my mail while Mike fiddled with my phone for me and watched a little TV. Time was getting on when I was down to my last few emails so I checked to see whether Mike was ready for lunch. We left. We were almost there when I checked my phone and found a message from Tariq to sat he’d finished Mike’s coffin…..ie, a coffin shaped set of shelves for Mike to display his collection of Dragons on. It was almost the first thing we saw in a side room when we got there. Wonderful job. Mike is thrilled, except for the fact they’re too big for the car built up as they are and will have to be undone.

Lunch was fantastic as always. We didn’t have much chance for chat as the place was pretty heaving. Yay but we did arrange for the shelves to be taken down for transport purposes. If it comes to that we could go early and do that in the morning. We came home by a pretty route and stopped of at Jackson’s Nurseries to look at their gift section. Mike’s daughter has admired his clock at home and if she’s to have it he needs to replace it. He’s specific in that it must be a large one and this is the best place I can think of. We had a good look upstairs and nothing at all so headed downstairs ( a slope actually) and I just said, “Hey bro, clock that” as I pointed at a huge one, big enough that he’s need a reinforced wall, and to be sitting a hundred yards back to read it. £135.00, forget that then. We actually saw some great ones but he felt the cheapest at £50.00 was too much for a battery operated clock. He may be right. We had a drink and came home.

I worked for a long time and went through for a break at 6.00 pm but Mike was lying on his bed. He did join me though. I stayed until 9.00 pm then had to excuse myself for work and I’ve been here ever since. Still some mail to go so I’ll wish you all a Happy week to come and send you Hugs.

Tea Party

Tea Party

Reub 1


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68 responses to “A Tablet too big to Swallow & Clock That

  1. Why do you have blog notifications sent by email? Total nuisance.

    Last thing I would ever do. I keep emails to the bare minimum.

    If you bought an iPad you could synch it with your iPhone and piggyback off it for internet. Or get a SIM card for it although I’m not sure why you would do that.

    Otherwise I don’t understand tablets. I certainly avoid taking them 🙂

    Have a lovely weekend, well, Sunday at any rate.

    • Blimey, talk about blinding me with science.
      First silly question. How else am I to know when someone has posted a new piece on a blog I’m following? Or made a comment on mine?
      I don’t have an iphone by brand and don’t want to bankrupt myself with buying an ipad. The phone is mainly for emergency texts or witty banter whereas the tablet is for emails on the move and for playing with pho.ne lab at a decent size.Horses for courses really.

      I wouldn’t mind avoiding the taking of tablets but this one was so cheap it’s worth it to make me look cooler than I am.
      I’ll try to enjoy my Sunday though the weather is miserable at the moment I’m hoping it brightens up in case the transportation of Mike’s ‘coffin’ means having the roof down to transport it.
      I hope your Sunday is just as you wish it and pain free.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

      • Er using the WordPress Reader? It has occasional blips but it’s much more convenient than sifting through a load of emails. As for comments, using the little orange message notification thingy top tight on the wordpress reader toolbar, next to your photo avatar. You don’t even have to visit the blog. Just read the comment and reply in the box. Which is exactly what I’m doing.

        I was surprised iPads were relatively cheap, considering they are Apple. I think I read somewhere that an iPad mini with a SIM card is the best option if you don’t have an iPhone. As you say, horses and all that. I use the phone for the camera, texts, phone, emails, weather, calculator and sneaky peaks at blogs on roaming. I use the pad at home on the sofa as it’s easier than using the laptop, so for blogging, and working (editing). Before the bbc cottoned onto the fact that I was in Gib, I used it for TV with iplayer.

        Thank you. I hope so too. No pain, no gain happens to be true at the momnt. To get flexibility I have to do exercises which involves some discomfort.

      • Well I never, and I mean never, knew about that little box on the wordpress toolbar.I was almost going to tell you I don’t have a wordpress toolbar when I realised where you meant.You really are au fait with all this technology stuff aren’t you.I’ma bloody neanderthal in comparison. Thank you.
        I forgot to say I use the camera for pictures too and the handy thing is I can email them to myself from there or to someone else.But, I can use the tablet as a camera too since it has one front and back…no selfies I promise but it’s there if I ever get the courage to skype. Like you the phone gets used for other things except a phone because I don’t physically speak to people yet except sometimes face to face. The tablet is easier than a laptop for working from my knee and it’s great for getting music on.
        I’m sorry you lost your BBC iplayer, that’s mean considering Gib is a dependency.
        Yes, physio can be a pain but hopefully not case you pain. It’s going to be worth the discomfort to regain flexibility but nothing more than discomfort I hope.
        Have a Wonderful week Kate. xxx Massive (Virtual) Hugs xxx

  2. That was a truly delightful diary post, David. I’m glad you found some creative fun with the pictures. (I’m still envious that Mike got to see himself as a cat… and now he sees himself in the eye of a pet dragon. Some people are too lucky. 🙂 )
    However, i admit that i kept hearing the music from “Jaws” and expecting Septimus to plop down again. Mega-hugs!

    • Hi Sweetie, thanks so much. Yes, I’ve had great fun with the pictures. I just tried to get your picture from your site but it kept changing to the Atonement one or I might have experimented with you as a cat/Tiger and sent it on.
      I don’t mind you hearing the music from Jaws, but please don’t bring Septimus back, I doubt his temper would be good at being unceremoniously dumped in the rain.
      xxx Mammoth Hugs xx

  3. Ooohh that Septimus will give me nightmares tonight! We get very large spiders called ‘Huntsmen’ which are not really dangerous to humans if you don’t count the heart attacks they cause. Shivers. Enjoy your new tablet that you don’t have to swallow!! xx

    • I’ve started building a moat around my bed so Septimus can’t get close again at night.If I met one of your huntsmen spiders I’d be off like a shot. I’m happy not to kill spiders but that doesn’t make them welcome guests.
      The non-swallowable tablet is giving me a lot of pleasure so far for very little outlay. Next thing is to verify if I can use it on the bus for emails.
      Have a great week Ardys. xxx Mega Hugs xxx

  4. Quite the week! You have such awesome adventures!

    • I think Mike would say I have such piddling adventures magnified and he’s probably nearer the truth. It’s tongue in the cheek time all the time here.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  5. What a throwback – Georgy Girl really lifted my mood for a dismal grey Sunday morning in August. You should really try the C-PAP machine for sleep apnea. It changed my stepmother’s life! Big bises xx

    • Listening to The Seekers reminded me just how much I liked them. Judith Durham had a great voice.
      It’s dismal, grey and very wet here too this morning. Ah well, can’t complain so far.
      If getting the C-PAP machine means visiting a Doctor, it’s off my list until I have no choice in the mater. Usually my daughter makes an appointment behind my back.
      Cwtch. xxx

  6. The pictures you create are really good, keep it up.

  7. I’m longing for the day that Reuben gets to do his own face painting with Rolo Pudding and Bournville Choc ices….can you imagine?!! and I love your photos – the one of your sister with the stars is brilliant, what a clever idea. I get WP notifications sent as email too – that way I know for sure that I won’t miss any posts from my favourite peeps. Have a stunning week, David. Massive Hugs and muchos amores to you! xxxoooxxx

    • You don’t really think I’m going to introduce Reuben to Bournville choc ices do you? My freezer door would never be shut. No, they’re MINE all Mine.
      Thanks Lottie, I’m still enjoying playing with pictures like that.
      I wish you the happiest of weeks.
      xxx Multi Cwtch from Wettest Wales xxx

  8. I’m flooded with emails, too, but so set in my ways that I can’t myself changing anything. 🙂
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  9. You certainly receive a lot of emails David. I don’t think I could cope with that number. You’ll need your own secretary one of these days. The Burkina Faso fraudsters use of ‘Dearest’ does not sound like an effective strategy to me. If I went to my bank and was called Dearest I would close my account there and then. Your ordeal with Septimus sounded terrifying.

  10. I do the e-mail thing for posts too because I never remember to check the reader. I don’t follow all the blogs via e-mail though but even with that I have problems with my numbers. With regards to checking comments some of them don’t seem to appear in the box, but…

    • I’m so glad I’m not alone. It can be a pain though,keeping up to date with posts yet I wouldn’t dream of losing anything.or anyone. I just need to be a bit more up to date at the weekends.
      xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

  11. Thanks so much for the Gene Pitney video – another much loved but forgotten oldie – and the kat video! But what is a Septimus? I assume some kind of bug?

  12. Oh, David, I’m so glad someone mentioned the Reader to you–and the comment bubble that pops up. I know you say you’re a bit set in your ways, but this just may help a teensy bit with the overwhelming amounts of mail you receive. It certainly would be nice for you to spend less time on your computer and more time with your creative photo work. I promise, once you get the hang of it, it may be just the thing you need.
    And YIKES on Septimus. Egads I’d never sleep.
    Cheers to you, David! xxoox

    • It does sound good though I guess I’d still be trawling through the rest of the mail, and still dealing with the WordPress bubble, just inn two different places now? If it frees up some time I’m in favour of it though.
      I did think of keeping Septimus so I had help moving the furniture but anything that moves faster than me I’m wary of- that’s most of the world then.
      xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

  13. Hi Dave, Having a bit of crap day. Nice to read your stuff. It’s very comforting.

  14. If only you could put Septimus to work answering emails… 8 arms/legs would get in done in no time. I’m sure he/she means no harm, just hanging out with Uncle David like all the cool kids do 🙂
    Loved the cat & budgie pic… and free to air TV. I can’t get my head around paying for TV. If there’s nothing on free-to-air, it costs me nothing to do something else.
    I use a combo of emails and reader, depending on time available. I find the email notifications handy to keep track of posts from blogs I follow, and the delete button handy for everything else.

    • If I didn’t have solid bone between my ears I might have thought of that as a perfect solution. Maybe I’ll just have to work four times as fast now instead. You’re probably right that no harm was meant but Uncle David gets nervous when the scary kids hang out with him…that includes Reuben now I’m told he’s taking his first step alone!!!
      The cat and budgie entertain me whenever I see it but maybe that’s also because it’s a favorite record.I won’t pay for TV either since I already pay via the TV licence to the BBC. I don’t mind finding something else to do…like more emails.
      I always found emails a good way to keep track of the blogs I follow, maybe I just follow too many? I do love my delete button.
      Hope you’re both well and finding Taylor’s Arms time.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  15. David, what great pictures of your sister (for your nieces), and of your nieces! “Georgie Girl” makes perfect background music for the pictures, too. And I’m still smiling at Reuben holding up the empty bowl–it’s like a scene from a Dickens novel–“Please, sir, may I have some more?”
    Hugs for a great week, David.

    • Thank you Marylin. The niece who saw the picture asked for it to be printed even though it made her cry. I bought some nice frames on Saturday and put them in. I liked the fun one of them too.
      Listening to the Seekers again was great. I tend to forget how good they were.
      Reuben makes a good Oliver doesn’t he. I wouldn’t refuse him unlike the Beadle but that’s because he scares me.
      I hope you have a wonderful week as well.
      xxx Humongous Hugs xxx

  16. Maggie Thom

    I thought I was an early bird but you have taken it to a whole new level. Have you always been someone who got up before 5:00 a.m.? Great week, thank you for sharing. Hugs for a new wonderful week.

    • Hi Maggie, No, I was always early, maybe between 5 and 6 but this last year it seems to have been silly. Still, it’s not hurting me and I am getting the mail done so it’s not all bad.
      xxx I wish you a Wonderful Week with Hugs Galore xxx

  17. Catherine Johnson

    Coffin shaped shelves whatever next lol.

  18. Wow! What a week! You know, I plead guilty! I just can’t keep up with all the SN stuff! 🙂 Wishing you well, David.

  19. laurie27wsmith

    Talk about coffins, when I worked at the RAAF base as a civvy we worked out of the old guard house. They had a coffin in there to be used when practising for funerals. Went looking for my relief late one night and found him fast asleep in the coffin. He died 6 months later from cancer. No connection to his bed of choice but it felt a tad spooky. Spiders don’t survive in this house, if the Geckos (lizards that live inside) don’t get them then Lorelle does with a newspaper. Years ago I woke up with a huntsman spider doing push ups on my face, and he covered half of it. Over 53 years I’ve been bitten by a Funnel web spider, quite venomous and about 9 times by red back spiders. They’re cousins to the American Black widow spider. Then we have the white-tailed spiders that live in gardens. Their venom eats flesh. So if it’s an arachnid it’s out.
    Your pictures look great David, especially Mike in the dragon’s eye. Good to see you’re getting some technology happening. I’d like an ipad but I’ve pushed the envelope with some new camera equipment and getting novels printed this year. Next year maybe. 🙂
    How’s the old body handling sugar Mate? I see you nod off a lot after meals. Is it the medication? We can’t have you sleeping all the time when you should be entertaining us with your diary you know. 🙂
    The fish probably saw Septimus you know, that’s why they’ve been quiet. A great collection of music, pictures and family news again David.
    Hugs of the huge manly variety.

  20. I can’t bring myself to kill the spiders but if I had what you have over there I’d be sending for Lorelle and her newspaper now. I’m actually quite jealous I don’t have either a Lorelle or a hand gecko.
    How the heck have you managed with so many bites?If I’d been bitten by a funnel web I think I’d have died for a heart attack…aren’t they the ones that also hide in the loo? Even the thought is freaking me out.
    This isn’t an ipad Laurie, it only cost £43.00 and has a 9″ screen. There’s so much comes out of China much cheaper than the ipads and yet they make those too. Manipulating my pics on this has proved great fun but you can do it on an android or iphone too if you have one.
    I think the body is doing OK with the sugar but to be honest it’s been a long while since I had it checked. As for the kipping, I’m not sure whether it’s all the drugs or just the lack of sleep at night……… from writing the diary.
    I thought Septimus might have worked for the fish but maybe you’re right they saw him and started being quiet.
    I’m glad you liked the pictures and the music, I always hope my choices are acceptable.
    Returning Hugs of the same variety Laurie, take care of yourself please.

    • laurie27wsmith

      I was just sitting here and thought, hang on, I haven’t heard back from David. SO I went to my comments page and found that you’d answered but it never appeared on the system. So I haven’t been ignoring you Mate. I’m lucky to have a Lorelle and a rolled up paper. 🙂 I was bitten on the finger by a funnel web when we first came to Oz. My finger looked like a prize pork sausage within ten minutes. The old man, in his infinite wisdom said, You’ll be fine. The next day I had a thin red line up my hand and a pus filled bite. Apparently nothing that a sugar and soap poultice wouldn’t fix. The ones that hide in the loo, along with green frogs are Red Back spiders. I’m glad your ?pad is going okay, I think the chinese make just about everything electronic. Lack of sleep doesn’t help David and I don’t think it’s from writing the diary. 🙂 I feel better now that I’ve logged in Hugs back at ya and take care David.

  21. Gene Pitney. Wow, how old am I! 🙂 I see you’re keeping to your busy self. Take care, David and enjoy the rest of the week.

    • Oh heck, you could claim you know it because your parents played it but I remember him from the off.
      Thank you Mary J, I will. I hope you have a Great Week too and I send xxx Hugs Galore xxx

  22. Willy Nilly

    At the risk of causing your inbox to blow a blustery gasket, I had to comment that your blog of weekly existence makes reading a top pick on my list of things to do. Smiling, even laughing to the point of losing my dignity, has become a regular habit. I enjoy this immensely, hopefully, not at your expense. 🌞

    • I would consider it to be more at my expense if you said you were laughing along with the fish, but as it is I shall say thank you very much and take it as a great compliment. Unless of course you’ve taken a dose of nitrous oxide at the time whence I’ll scream ADDICT!
      I’m grateful that any reader makes a comment but it’s nice to know I’m the cause of some mirth since such is the intention.
      I’m most grateful, and I still love the walking stick.

  23. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    David Prosser is a wonderful supporter of other bloggers – he also has a compelling series The Barsetshire Diaries which involves fish, insomnia and a slice or two of humour. Thanks David for all your support here and on Twitter..

  24. Hi David,
    Thank you so much for including 4 Non Blondes, I loved that when I was younger and used to listen to it all the time. A brilliant song.
    If you like the Rolo puddings then you should try the Pots of Joy puddings, so tasty I cant resist when I see them in the shops.
    How are you after you spider paying you a visit? I did find it very funny how you explained about him visiting you, I still jump a mile if one runs across the living room.
    I am so glad I have found you and your posts through blogging. I love reading your posts, its such a ‘me’ time when I switch off and can just enjoy reading about your week. Thank you, your writing gives us so much enjoyment.
    Well I hope you can get a decent night sleep soon,
    Take care of you,

    • Hi Kim. I knew I liked the song but I couldn’t remember who did it. I was glad to include it.
      I’ve looked at the pots of Joy but the rolo’s have been on a special offer in ASDA for ages. I’m sure I’ll get round to them but my favourites are the Cadbury’s twin pots with the buttons. Talk about my second childhood…I wish I’d left the first.
      My heart has recovered a bit now though it was touch and go at the time.I had to be reasonable brave in front of Mike when it came to the lounge but I’d have run much faster than you if it hadn’t been between me and the door when it came to the bedroom.
      You really are a delight Kim and very good for my ego. I’m so pleased you can still enjoy my waffling. Mike says I should give it up as it’s taken over my life.
      I got nearly four and a half hours last night so I should be celebrating now really. Trouble is I haven’t finished the mail or the blog. Oops.
      Look after yourselves
      xxx Huge Hugs to all xxx

  25. thevanbrown

    David, you take “agenda” to a higher level. LOL!

  26. Have I ever mentioned you are a man after my own heart when it comes to our musical tastes? LOL! I absolutely LOVE Gene Pitney! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWF3Y2VEl2E <<>>
    I’d never heard this particular song of his that you put up…I liked it! I like everything he ever did, I think…no such thing as a bad song of his.
    I nearly died laughing at the caption about the baby licking the pattern off of his plate..
    Hugs galore Lord David, xxxx CJ and Rodent xxx
    PS: Mousie didn’t care for the cat at all! I wonder why?

    • I’m surprised you hadn’t heard that Gene Pitney song before though I suppose it could have done better for him over here. It was a big hit.
      I’m glad you enjoyed the caption, I love to hear you laugh.
      What a shame Mousie didn’t like the cat which proved to be gentle with it’s enemies.I wonder how he’ll get on with the next one then?
      xxx Massive Hugs to you both xxx

      • Mousie find felines positively repulsive…no cute, fluffy, or seemingly harmless little kitty video will ever change his little rodent mind. Of course, I really can’t judge him harshly…I can’t say for sure whether he’s a truly tasty morsel that cats cannot easily resist or not…Morguie thinks he IS exactly that…sooner or later, kitty won’t be able to to help itself, and have its way with him, or maybe just a taste.
        I’ll stick to pizza. 😛

      • Having a definite fondness for rodents of the Mousie and Ratty variety, I think I’ll stick to Pizza too.
        xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  27. Alex1651Knju.Wordpress.Com

    I think that what you said made a great deal of sense.
    However, think about this, suppose you wrote a catchier title?
    I ain’t suggesting your information isn’t good., but what if you added a title to
    possibly get a person’s attention? I mean A Tablet too big
    to Swallow & Clock That | barsetshirediaries is kinda vanilla.
    You might glance at Yahoo’s home page and see how they create news headlines to get viewers interested.
    You might add a related video or a related pic or two to grab people
    excited about everything’ve written. In my opinion, it could make your posts a
    little livelier.

    • Many thanks for the advice.I’ll certainly look at making the titles catchier but I’m not much of a news person. I always try to have related pictures in the blog but not videos as I don’t have the facilities for making them and I’d have to know that an opportunity to create one was coming. By the time I was ready the opportunity would have passed by.
      Not sure I could make the posts livelier since I lead a very boring life really but I appreciate your interest and the advice you’ve given.

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