Technicolour Yawns & Big Al’s Comment (Fish and Sh*ts).

Sunday. I thought 4.31 am was a bit unfair this morning after last night’s efforts. Now I’m wondering if it wasn’t revenge for publishing. Mike says I’m terrible about him on the blog and would probably repeat the accusation later in the day if only he could get up. I worked on the mail until 6.00 am then having decided on breakfast today I went through to the kitchen. The fish were first or maybe I should say the tank and the snails were since I could not see the fish anywhere. I was looking through the front of the tank for ages. Then, leaning over the sink to wash my hands I glanced in through the side glass and my little Houdini albino was in sight. It showed him at he far end beyond the food and up close to the glass. Scratching my head ( and getting splinters) I moved back to the front. Not a sign of him. It didn’t make sense that he’s invisibly head on but fully visible sideways on. I moved to the side and again nothing. More scratching, more splinters. I couldn’t ( and still can’t ) work it out. Is he an optical illusion or a magician? I don’t know, but I know he worries me. No wonder I don’t sleep at night.

I took all my meds and then had a cigarette to time the pre-food one. I reasoned that if I had breakfast and lunch I could work the calories off and having fulfilled the diabetic tablet need for the day, I needn’t have any tea. As the cigarette was coming to an end I stuck two doorstep slices in the toaster and made a coffee. I’m having a few problems with the toaster at the moment . There doesn’t seem to be a degree between the pale and interesting and the cremation amen  stages. This morning the toast looked like it lived in a very cold climate with no sunshine.It was quite crispy though so I was happy to slather my butter all over it. No jam today in deference to my attempt at healthy eating which half an inch of butter provided obviously. See, with science what goes around comes around. Last year butter was bad for you but laying one chemical short of plastic on your toast was fine. Today it’s the reverse. One day my hats will be back in fashion if I wait long enough. Half a millenium perhaps?

I put the plate in the sink to wash later and took  my coffee back to the bedroom. Since I know we’ll be going out at some stage this morning I thought I might as well be as up to date as possible. There was a relaxed atmosphere in my room since I could start giving a bit of thought to Christmas and could look for ideas on ebay. I didn’t actually come up with any but accidentally of course I did see lots of things I liked. At about 9.00 am I got dressed so I didn’t inconvenience Mike when he got up. At 9.45 am when he hadn’t I made a coffee and took it through letting him know it was almost 10.00 am.. It took a while but he did eventually make his way to the lounge. He let me know he hadn’t gone to bed until 4.00 am as he’s been catching up on episodes of shows he liked. I felt so guilty about waking him up then- not. I didn’t harass him of course but I’m  sure he got some kind of message when I looked at my watch every 30 seconds or so.

We were out for 11.00 am. First stop was Lidl to see if they had any teeshirts like the ones I bought the day of the blood test. No joy but it was great to get a leaflet with special offers coming up. Mike ran me to Aldi next where I picked up another brochure but we didn’t buy anything in there. As time was getting on we decided to head for lunch. The Ivy is a straight run along the Coast Road but we’d have to detour home for sweets………unless, we nipped into another supermarket in Flint to get some which we did. When we got to The Ivy young Rob was outside burning rubbish so there must have been a new delivery inside. We left him some sweets and went in. Tariq was behind the counter and came round for a hug. The place was very quiet which we decided was probably because there was a football game on the TV until about 2.00 pm. We had plenty of chance to chat, or in his case moan that we’d brought sweets again. He put his phone on to open the internet for Mike to see the reports on the game as it’s his favourite team. I had a wander round looking at the new gift stock they had. Tariq made our coffee and Shella came through to take our order.She’s still not very well. Angie appeared though I’d wondered whether she was in at all. She gave Mike and I a kiss each. I shan’t wash again.  Mike says “What’s new there then?”such charm.

We had lunch which for me was BLT’s today ( I found I’d forgotten my tablets) then Mike ran us home and collected his suitcase. He left on the next stage of his weekend journeys. I came through to the bedroom and just started on the emails again which had piled up since 10.00 am til nearly 3.00 pm. At 6.00 pm I had a short break to have some of the tea I said I wouldn’t need this morning. Since Mike had left me with a full lemon meringue tart I felt obliged to have a large piece of that. Then two hours in front of the TV (more asleep than awake) before coming back through. I’m reasonable up to date though I’ve saved the best till last. I’m going back to those now. I hope you all have a Great New Week.

Monday. 3.19 am and I was ready to get my a**e into gear. Or so I thought. If I’d known what was coming I’d have stayed in bed. Why didn’t you warn me? I paid a visit to the loo and decided it was definitely cool this morning so I detoured via the lounge and turned the thermostat on. Then back to my room to start the mail. It’s started as a crook free day, hallelujah. Just plenty to enjoy , comment on and re-tweet. There are some astounding blogs and amazing people out there. One ape man who shall remain nameless (unless he chooses otherwise) never seems to sleep in his quest to promote books, authors and opinions on both. My friend Sally seems to spend 24/7 in promotion or in entertaining and appears to have more arms than she should in order to accomplish this. Maybe it’s the Spanish air.

I worked till 6.00 am then went on my first major task of the day, feeding the fish. Yet again none were in sight at first but after I’d fed them and gone to see to my meds I glanced back and the Albino was out surveying his territory. I turned back round just so I didn’t miss my mouth with the tablets and drink of milk and then I made a cup of coffee and some toast. The toast I ate in the kitchen watching out for more of the piscine ( not a French swimming pool ) members of the household. I dropped the plate in the sink till later and took my coffee through to the bedroom as my office is known.  I started work again and realised I didn’t feel exactly right. That was my last thought until almost 7.00 am when I woke up in my swivel chair. Luckily the keyboard was retracted or who knows what I might have written to whom. I had to go through to sit in the lounge and despite having just woken I nodded again. It happened on and off until about 9.00 am when I took myself in hand ( in a nice way) and dressed to go to the shop.

Coming back, I put new bread in the kitchen. Notice I didn’t say fresh…there doesn’t seem to have been a delivery yet. I went back to try and catch up on mail but while doing so my head was up and down as I nodded off. At 11.30 I left determined to prepare lunch and ended up having liver and onions with a few micro chips. I followed this up with a small slice of lemon meringue on which I’m about to lay a mountain of blame. I took my tray to the kitchen and washed up. I’d just finished when there was a knock at the door. My heart pounded and my brow sweated as I opened the door. It was the warden from last week who’d kindly come to bring me the details of the lady who might come to clean. I let her in and she had a few minutes with me. I thanked her and saw her out. No need for her to come this Friday now. I immediately emailed Yvonne and asked if she could speak to the lady for me to see if she has vacancies for new clients. At this point I knew something was not right with me. Yvonne got back in touch and said the lady wanted to meet me and Yvonne had arranged for 4.00 pm tomorrow so I’d better make sure I’m back from Chester so I can psych myself up to open the door when I see her coming. We’d just reached that point when I knew I was about to greet my lunch again.

I made it to the bathroom by the skin of my teeth and made technicolour yawn everywhere. Once finished I had to clear that up. I was hot and clammy and came back intending to lie down. Instead I remembered there was a backlog of mail to clear. As I sat down in the chair the urge came again and it was a case of flying to the bathroom, skidding on the floor ( which helped) and ejecting every meal for the last week I think. I really felt rough and again had to go to the lounge to sit in my chair and sleep. When I finally woke up I was able to come through to start work as long as I put my trainers on for a run. As it happened I didn’t need them. I had to miss some of my TV to catch up but it was worth it. When I did go to watch a quiz I slept again and only woke up in time to see my last antique programme.  Once that was done I came back through and tried to concentrate on the pile I’d left undone and the fresh in, 118 in all The post is up to date as near as I can and it’s now 11.30 pm so I’m going to be in bed well before midnight. Tomorrow off to see Yvonne and Reuben. A bad forecast for the morning but they’re talking maybe 15 degrees. Wet ones.

Tuesday. Well it had to happen sooner or later, I didn’t remove myself from bed until 4.33 am, the day’s half over by then, after all we have 24 hour shopping now. I removed my trousers from under the mattress where they’d been pressed and made the bed. A quick nip to the loo, a quick nip to the thermostat and an even quicker nip back as it was quite nippy. Just one attempt at a con today and that’s a message from a bank I don’t bank with feeding me the usual garbage about my account being suspended until new details are received. Well, take my advice, don’t hold your breath waiting for my answer. Though if you want to make my day, ignore my advice.

I didn’t mention it last night but when I turned the fish tank off  ( I told it I had sweaty feet) the albino wasn’t looking too chipper. He seemed to be leaning to one side though I suppose it could just have been a nonchalant pose . I decided to go through at 6.00 am and turn the tank on ( I told it I lied last night, my feet are fine) to see if I had a corpse. I’m happy (?) to report I haven’t. He seems quite well and his usual indifferent self. I’d gone through early so that I had plenty of time to get ready for my bus at 7.45 am. I had my meds, made a coffee, got washed and dressed then settled with my coffee to clear as much mail as possible. I was really doing well too as the time approached. At 7.30 am I left the house having picked up a bag for Yvonne which included a big 17″ x 11″ picture of Reuben I love of him on the phone. I wanted to find a frame for it so they could hang it up at home. I let her know when I was on the bus and asked where we should meet. She replied  “The Costa at the top of town.” I was a little puzzled, “Erm, which is that?” I asked, “I’m not sure what you consider the top of town.” There was no response by the time my journey was over so as they were not at the bus stop I had to make my best  guess. I was walking along when I heard a desperate voice calling “Dad”, I looked round and there she was barreling towards me with the pushchair. Reuben was waving and grinning like mad.

We had a discussion about where to go and settled on a pub chain that does  breakfast. Reuben was determined to hold my hand which made walking a little difficult, I looked and felt like Queasimodo ( sorry, not feeling too sick) as I trailed along the road crutch in my left hand, and Reuben’s hand in the other with the crutch trailing behind. Once in the pub he came out of the pushchair for a hug and then showed me how well he can walk without support. It’s fantastic to watch for the first time. Though had I but known it I could have seen it three days ago on Facebook and heard his Dad squealing like a little girl at the concert of the current boyband. After breakfast during which Reuben redecorated the place even though it wasn’t needed, we went off to find the frame and were lucky straight away. We headed for another shop to find an all in one ski-suit for Reuben. He’s not taking up Winter sports but Yvonne wants him to be warm. We didn’t find that but I did find an all-in-one waterproof that seemed quite padded so I bought that with a couple of other things. Off to the supermarket to get some bread to take home next then off to another clothes shop where we found the lift out of order and we were out of luck. We had a coffee on out travels and hit another couple of shops before it was time for me to say goodbye. This brought howls from Reuben and I’m told they lasted all the way home. Poor Yvonne.

The journey home was uneventful for the most part though I didn’t get the seat I liked until we reached Holywell. When I got off the bus it was just gone 2.00 pm and I dreaded going home. Why? because I’m a coward. At 4.00 pm the lady I hope will be going to clean for me two hours a week is coming to meet me. It feels like I’m going to be interviewed. Until then I need t work on getting the messages down. I was doing quite well with that job until 3.55 pm when I turned my bedroom light off so she couldn’t see the state of the room. I went through to the kitchen to watch out for her and even then wasn’t sure I’d open the door. But I did. I sounded like an idiot with all the stuttering but it was OK because she’s a naturally garrulous lady and I didn’t have to say much. I think I passed muster as she’s starting with an hour on Friday and then will do an hour on Monday. She’s even going to do some i**ning for me at some stage. She’s been relieved of doing my bedroom as I can hardly get in here never mind anyone else. If she sees this room she’ll never come back. Lounge, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and the hall should do for now. She left before 5.00pm so I had the last quarter hour of my antique show while I had a french stick sandwich for tea and some malt bread. Then as good as gold I returned to work until 7.00 pm.

When I turned the TV back on for my next antique show I was surprised to find that one of the experts and his celebrity came to visit the Lourdes of Wales, St. Winefride’s Well which is slightly higher up the hill than me. Between Greenfield and Holywell. As a place of Pilgrimage maybe some of you have even visited and drunk the waters. It was an enjoyable programme and both sides made a profit for Childline which is good. Then it was back here again for the night to play catch up which I’m about to do again with the mail.

Wednesday. 4.28 am this morning and it was helped by the fact that my letter opener (dagger) slipped off the end of my desk to land on the bed. I must have been dreaming about giant spiders as that’s what I thought it was. As it happens I’m just lucky when I counted my toes they were all there. The news operators in the UK have been warning that there will be a plague of giant spiders due to the mild summer and that at this time of year they come indoors looking for nookie with the females who’ve been on their webs. I personally would be happy to shell out a little something if they want to try a hotel. The thing that preys on my mind is that this exercise just results in many more spiders being born and possibly within the confines of my home.

Though the disturbance had left me wide awake earlier on I began to feel I hadn’t had quite enough sleep. You’ll realise my deductive powers are second to none when I explain what fist gave me a clue. I woke up with my head at right angles to my body and I was looking down at my lap. This seemed to be happening about every 30 seconds or so and was a dead giveaway. One time I must have gone a little further forward than is advisable and my head was being supported by a bottle of pop. I came alive to it. There was little I could do as 6.00 am approached but go and feed the fish. Big Al was there to greet me when the light went on and I spoke nicely to him to see what the chances are of re-establishing our relationship on a friendly footing. My guess is that turning round and swimming off to a corner constitutes a no. I took my drugs and decided that breakfast would be a good idea so I wouldn’t need a meal at tea time and was prepared for Games Night. I just had a couple of pieces of toast and thoroughly enjoyed it until I took my two after meal tablets with my coffee. The heat gave me the toothache from hell for a while. Mind you, that’s where all toothaches come from isn’t it.

I took the rest of the coffee back to the bedroom and worked for a while but by 7.00 am I was yawning so much my top lip brushed my eyebrows flat. And that was behind my glasses! I went through to sit in my chair in the lounge. I fell asleep again and didn’t come round until 8.15 am. A bit more work then I got washed and dressed ready to go to Pauline’s for bread. I was there by 9.15 am today and the stock was limited but I was lucky and found some baps to keep me going. I wasn’t long back at home before the postman came and brought my special purchase of the other day, the hush hush one, and another parcel I needed as well. I just carried on working once I’d checked and stored them, I needed the post as low as possible today.

At 12.00 pm I made myself pizza and chips but the chips had ‘Chip Shop Curry Sauce’ on them and it’s been ages since I’ve had them. I watched an antiques show and managed to stay awake to the end. But I did pinch half an hour afterwards checking my eyelids from the inside. They seem fine. I worked hard all afternoon until 4.30 pm then knowing Lee could arrive at any time I put it to rest. I did have a couple of questions if he arrived early though regarding my search engines and my linked email accounts. I put on The Antiques Road Trip until someone arrived but saw it to the end at 5.15 pm.  Dil and Matt arrived a little after 5.30 pm and Dil says his back is much better though not right yet.  I made drinks and stocked Matt’s biscuit supply up then got the games table out and the Scrabble. A text from Lee came which said he couldn’t make it this week which I’d guessed by  then. Being self-employed doesn’t mean you can always please yourself. We played two games. I won the first with the ease that comes so naturally to me, cough and then was doing really badly in the second until I got a 7 letter word which gave me the game as well. Two -Nil to me and I was cock of the walk but not stupid enough to crow too loudly about it with it being Two onto One in the kicking stakes. We started Nomination Whist and I started OK-ish but the others were in the same boat. Then all of a sudden I couldn’t get a call at all and I was lagging badly. Matt ended up winning. I just sulked. Dil helped me put hings away then they left at 9.30 pm leaving me to tidy up a bit and wash the pots. I took my tabs and went through to the bedroom.

The mailboxes were full (rats!) which means a long night. Among all the messages was this one from   Mrs.Belinda Azuke Djante.

Hello.

I don't want to be hurt again after the death of my husband. I really need you to help me and my little kids, but i am afraid of betrayals. Please is this medium safe for us? and are you sure i am safe with you? before i can explain more to you. Waiting for your reply soon.

Mrs.Djante.

Doesn’t it sound like we’ve been in close contact before ? It’s ridiculous. No one would forget something like that, what do these people gain by sending letters like this? And the address from which it came, bishal.debbarma@ymail.com  which hardly seems like the address/name of the person  supposedly writing. Any minute now though and I expect to be accused of breach of promise.

I hope you’ve all had a great day.. Tonight I’ll leave you with something from the classics for a change just to show you I have an upmarket side with my chips.

My  nieces Karen and Joanne have just returned from holiday.

Who said I have a big ass?

Who said I have a big ass?

Jo on film

Jo on film

Thursday. OK, I’ll admit it. It was a positively decadent 5.12 am today. I strolled to the loo despite the level of fluid rising behind my eyeballs as my hand flicked the outside light on in error. I had to wait until I reached the bathroom in order to turn the light on there. I came out a very drained but much relieved person. First job was to turn the computer on and go to the bank to find out if the man will laugh at me when I hit the cash machine at the weekend. I don’t want him to grab my card and cut it up in front of my eyes. We’re old friends my card and I. It was OK, my pension was in.

There were no treats for me this morning. Just the rubbish ‘You need to contact the bank Urgently’ and ‘Please don’t ignore this’ cons where I don’t even have accounts. It was straight to spam for those. There were also a lot of posts from friends and fellow bloggers whom I admire greatly. I’d love to mention them all but I’d b up ll night and I’d run out of space. Needless to say you’d know who they are if you saw the tweets and re-tweets I do each day. There isn’t one I wouldn’t recommend from those who blog to help writers of every genre through to those who either blog on Politics in general or the problems in Arabia with specific stories. There was plenty to keep me occupied this morning but I broke off at 6.30 am to feed the fish and to have some breakfast. In the fish tank there seems to be a general truce towards me which is the stance I’m taking rather than accepting they have nothing but disdain for me. Tablets, breakfast and coffee done I cast a sad look back at the tank, tuned the kitchen light off and went back to my bedroom.

I kept working steadily and diminishing the queue bit by bit. At about 10.00 am I thought it time to get washed and dressed and then went to Pauline’s to get my lottery tickets. I’m afraid last night’s was another no no. I can’t understand why they keep ignoring me like this. The postman didn’t call today but when I got home Mike texted to ask if I had visitors today, he meant MuJo. When I replied in the negative he announced he was coming over today. I cheered which must have surprised the neighbours a bit but I carried on working too. More post was coming in all the time as I can see it is now. At 12.00 pm I went through for lunch and got a new text from Mike, “On way, see you about 2.00 pm.” I did myself an easy pizza and micro chips ( yes again) and watched my programme. By the time it was over and I’d washed the pots I found I was tired. I contemplated staying in my chair but I knew I had to get the post even before I could do that. I just reached that stage when the door opened and in walked Mike at 2.15 pm.

Mike ran for the loo while I made his coffee. Then he lit a cigarette with a look of absolute bliss on his face. “Over two hours in the car without a fag” he said. “Why’s that” I asked. “Because Anton told me the car loses £1000 at resale time if it’s a smoker’s car.” I remembered then he’d come in his new car with the red leather seats. We’ll see how long it takes before he breaks the 11th Commandment of Thou shall not smoke in my car. After coffee he asked if there was anything I wanted to do shop wise and I explained what my current quest is. We headed for Flint to see if I’d have any luck. I didn’t but we were able to go for a coffee at Temptations and annoy Ceri and Trudy who were serving this afternoon. Mike and I are different like chalk and cheese, when he says something rude and suggestive to a woman they love it. If I tried it I’d be in a police cell in no seconds flat. I just don’t have it which is why I couldn’t chat a woman up. Yet I have a great sense of humour ( don’t argue, I do!) and I’m reasonably tall…… OK that’s about it but I promise I keep my head down so I don’t scare the horses.

We came home again and I went back to work until 4.30 pm and the antique show was on which we watched together. A little more work until 7.00 pm while Mike was shouting abuse at the laptop and trying to get information on Salvador Dali prints. His sister is going to get him some for his birthday to replace some that were lost some moons ago in an acrimonious split with a partner. I stayed with him until 9.00 pm when as usual it was time to come and make headway before bed. It’s now time to go back to it and see what can be cleared.

Today at the park.

Today at the park.

Friday. OK, here’s the thing. I’m a light sleeper. I know I’m always up early and raring to go ( well that’s what goes on my c.v. anyhow) but if I need to nod off again at some stage I can. It was 3.18 am this morning but when I was flagging a bit about 7.00 am I lay down and tried to relax and found the sty full of pigs grunting and snorting in ‘another place’ wouldn’t let me. And even worse, one (at least) of the pigs could talk, or to be more precise, chunner, and seemed to be grumbling a lot. I tried for a full half hour but it was like working in a sawmill. I gave up and went to talk to the fish. To be fair, after I’d turned on the lights and dropped some food in, Big Al stayed politely to listen to me telling him how we were friends. As I paused for breath he shot off , hit the far side of the tank and started barging his own reflection. Somehow I don’t think he’s too impressed with me. The plecs?  Well I’m now convinced they have no brains. They’re like a herd of cows, placid until it’s either food time or milking time.

After taking my meds,  sprays and having breakfast, I took my coffee back to my room and carried on working. At 8.00 am I was surprised to hear Mike’s alarm going off as we’d made no plans for his day of rest. I wasn’t sure if it was an error so I prepared his mug and as he hadn’t got up,  I left it. After 10 minutes it went off again so obviously not a mistake. I made his coffee and took it through with the usual cheery bellow, Coffee’s up. There was some kind of grunt, grunt, snort code which might have passed for thanks but I’m not holding my breath. Last night we had a disagreement about who was lead singer in a band, Mike was determined it was one person and I was as determined it wasn’t. Eventually I was proved right but I didn’t expect an apology as I remember being told “I don’t do sorry”. I wasn’t mistaken.

Mike got up and went through to the lounge. I did a few more messages before joining him. He checked to see what I wanted to do this morning. All I could think of was a certain Christmas present I wanted to get. “No problem” he said and by 9.00 am he was ushering me to the car and over to Broughton Park. When  we arrived I needed a wee again and left Mike looking around at the items in question. As I came back I was greeted with “Is this what you’re looking for?”, and it was, exactly that. In no time at all he’s solved my problem. We celebrated with a coffee and then went shopping for some food. We followed that up with a look round another shop where I got a couple of small things before we headed home. Mike even took the country route most of the way as he knows I dislike expressways.

Back at home I made Mike a coffee and left him looking at the maintenance manual for the car. He’s found a button and doesn’t know what it’s for. I came to see how bad the message damage was from my absence. It was bad. Before starting I reminded Mike of the impending arrival of my new cleaner and of his need to depart lest he gets underfoot. He phoned a friend and arranged a visit. I started on the backlog and just waved him off when he went. First day and my lady wasn’t on time but I don’t know if she’d timed the walk to here from home or from her previous job. I’m flexible so it’s OK really. When she does arrive we settle on the kitchen and the lounge as jobs for the day. I’m not expecting too much as it’s only an hour and I don’t know what she’ll manage.Having this problem with strangers, I left her to it but did say to let me know if she needed anything and I’d pick it up this weekend. There was nothing on the pad later on. Towards the end of the hour I came back though to pay her and to see what had been done. The work surfaces in the kitchen and some polishing in the lounge it seems but I wondered how much time had been spent on trying to repair the handle that runs across the door of my oven that was broken off on one side where she’d used it to get up from the undersink cupboards. I have no problem with accidents and forgave the damage easily enough. What I’m note sure about is the time wasted.

When she’d gone I obviously had a look at the jobs I would no longer ave to do and found myself washing down one of the kitchen worktops near the toaster of all the accumulated crumbs. I couldn’t understand why a second room had been started when the first wasn’t finished. I ended up mopping the kitchen floor and then hoovering the lounge. On Monday we’re changing from one hour on two days to two hours on one day and barring accidents we’ll be able to see whether we suit each other. I’m going to write today off as a bad experience for us both. Mop bucket put away I returned to work until 4.30 pm when the antique programme started. Mike returned not long afterwards so we enjoyed it together though we both had moments where keeping they eyelids apart was a problem. Following that was more antiques, a quiz, a Big Bang Theory and a hairwash for me then a shower. Mike decided to have a shave then before we saw a sports quiz, Mastermind and then Would I lie to you. Leaving Mike to channel hop then I came away to start catch up operations again and to arrange with Yvonne that we get together on 26th to celebrate Mike’s birthday in case he’s missing either the weekend before or the one after his 65th. I’m having such a laugh that he’s older than me. He’s having such a laugh that he gets his pension on his birthday whereas when I’m 65  just 14 months after him I have to wait an extra 9 months (so far).

Two more pictures from my nieces holiday. Karen prefers to be the other side of the camera.

The Shrinking Girl.

The Shrinking Girl.

Retro Jo

Retro Jo

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enFn8MbVFtk

Check out the animals towards the end.

Saturday. The day I could do without I got a real treat. 5.01 am before I woke and got up.I might not have made it even then had my brain not been receiving messages from my bladder. In fairness I’d read until gone 12.30 am and took a little time to settle down. After the loo I started on my messages to try and clear the box before going out. I’d actually all but done by 6.30 am when I decided it would be a good time to feed the fish. It was nothing short of miraculous that when I lit up the tank, Big Al was there and looking almost friendly. I smiled at him and as I did he turned around and moved away with a trail of something attached to his rear end following him behind. I got the message. I want it clear now that I did not start this war but I have the food to finish it. I took my meds and made myself a drink to take back to my room. 

I was just moving away from the computer having for the moment caught up. It was time to do the bins. I emptied the one in my bedroom and was just passing Mike’s door when his alarm went off.  I paused to make him coffee and take it through. My cheerful greeting didn’t get a favourable response but nothing was thrown at me and the air wasn’t blue so there was hope. I returned to work and had done the food bin and the main rubbish bin and put fresh bags in. I took the bags outside to put in the dustbins and walked both to the kerb. Then I collected all the recycling bags and put them out too. When I came back in there was still no movement from Mike and it was likely his alarm had been turned off a second time. “Don’t forget your coffee bro, it’s going cold.” I called. “Righto, righto, thank you OK, right” he answered, and snuggled in a bit further. I toddled off to wash my hands before going to finish my coffee in the bedroom and just do the last few messages that had arrived. At lest I heard Mike make a move. I knew it was him ‘cos he knocked something over, the oaf. Needless to say it was gone 8.00 am before we left home this morning. Still. by treating all the other traffic as a minor inconvenience we weren’t much later than usual arriving at the Supermarket. I was glad none of the police cars had been able to keep up.

The hole in the wall was showing adverts for a burger chain and when I put in my request I did wonder whether I was playing for a cash jackpot or a steaming burger on a bun. I was lucky, I got the cash option. Inside we headed for the veg aisle ( yes, I do go there) to get some sweet potatoes then off to choose some flowers for Julia. Next were some pens for Angie as her daisy pen has run out now. We moved further into the shop all the while eyes darting round looking for Christmas present ideas. I’m much less spontaneous than I used to be  and seem to need to go out shopping now with specific people in mind. This morning I hadn’t and could settle on nothing. I think maybe I need to make sure the two 65th birthdays are dealt with first. My sister in law is a nightmare to buy for though I have now got the jeggings I know she likes, or will have when I get home. We finally reached the food section or I did as Mike left to nip to the loo. He chose to leave me by the Specials aisle so when he got back there were quite a few boxes of chocolates in the basket and the room for actual food was diminishing fast. To be fair, he did catch me up at the meat section and I had bought some.

After we’d finished and gone through the check out we had a coffee. I decided to have an iced one or what Mike calls my brain freeze. Warm drinks are still causing my exposed nerve a wee problem. I could see Mike watching me very closely waiting for the moment when the headache would begin, it was really difficult to disappoint him and carry on drinking while some sadistic madman drove a spike through my brain. When he finished his coffee it was great to put my drink down and claim to have had enough because the cream was too thick and rich. We drove to Connah’s Quay where we haven’t been for a while so Mike could see if they had any suitable giftwrap and a card for his grandson’s birthday. He managed to get both so happy now we drove to Flint for a coffee at Temptations. Since we had a teasted toecake as well I used that to soak up a lot of my drink so the heat didn’t get to me. At this time I should like to point out that the stories of me being a shopaholic are greatly exaggerated. I have been near two branches of my favourite shop this morning without going in and without displaying any real withdrawal symptoms other than maybe the odd twitch. After teasing Ceri as much as possible we left and picked up some pizzas- no chocolate ice creams, and maybe jut a small BFG from the frozen food shop before heading for home.

Once we got there Mike opened the front door and we found a package on the floor. As I swept in after him with my share of the shopping bags I found a note from the postie to say two more parcels were at my neighbour Bert’s. I stuck the note on one side and forgot kit as we unpacked the bags and put things away. We’d just finished that and Mike had nipped to the bathroom ( a bladder the size of a gnat) when I remembered the note and taking a box of chocolates as thanks went to collect the parcels from Bert who is the most helpful man. To be honest I could guess what was in the one already in the house but had no idea what was in these two. I couldn’t remember what I’d ordered recently ( yes, I know I should read the blog) and even if I did, nothing was due before Wednesday next week. Anyway, back indoors Mike came and sat on my bed and opened two of the parcels while I opened the other. As expected the one through the door was (at last) the correct case for the tablet with a hole for the camera in the right place. The other two turned out to be the jeggings (previously mentioned) and a new key safe which Mike had said he’s put up for me if I got it. At that point I needed to do a little ( a lot) of catching up but it wasn’t meant to be. We started looking at something on ebay and time ran away with us. Mike disappeared for a few minutes and I left feedback for the items received. There was a call a few moments later and I followed the sound to find Mike had worked out the code to open the old key safe on the wall outside and I hadn’t needed to buy a new one at all. It was through gritted teeth I asked why he hadn’t decided to do this last week before I had bought the new one- AND left feedback.

It was time to head for lunch. Chocolates and pens in hand we left. Traffic only brought on a few minor swearwords of frustration from Mike and his frustration a few minor swear words of exasperation from me. The car park seemed very busy when we got there. It would have been good for custom if they’d gone inside. Our seats were still vacant which was great though if they hadn’t been there would have been cause for complaint since we supplied our own Reserved sign. It was Tariq on the counter at that moment and we got a smile and a wave. The place is going rapidly downhill when he can’t abandon his other customers to hug me though. Soon enough we saw Angie who made our drinks and took the food order while Tariq was running around serving. The Rob appeared and he was serving too. It was getting to be more staff than customers. I knew things were seriously wrong when I’d ordered a baked potato with beans accompanied by two (holding up 4 fingers) pieces of bacon, and it only came out with two. Mike thought it hilarious. It was just as well as I was quite full afterwards. Mike disappeared with Tariq afterwards to talk picture frames for his art posters. I sat there fighting off sleep. When they returned it was time to go and the day got brighter as Tariq came to give me a hug and Angie came to give me a kiss.

At home again it was straight into battle and there were over 160 messages since 6.45 am this morning. It was now 2.30 pm. I had to work until 5.50 pm to get clear before I could join Mike. I know I made us some tea and I know I remember a couple of quiz shows but it seems Somnos caught both of us as some point. When I came round for the umpteenth time and realised it was 8.45 pm I literally flew from the room to start again. It’s taken an age to catch up. I hope you’ve all had a Wonderful week and are heading for a Great week full of peace, love and most of all Hugs.( Yes, including you men. Brave it out, it won’t hurt).

The Turtle Hat. Both father and son want it, who will win?

The Turtle Hat. Both father and son want it, who will win?

 

 


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42 Comments

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42 responses to “Technicolour Yawns & Big Al’s Comment (Fish and Sh*ts).

  1. I LOVE. Witch queen. Great resonant bass beat.

    Hmmm cleaners. My mother and my partner both fell in the trap of ”the cleaners coming so I must clean first’.

    Hugs to the albino.

    • Ah yes, a great record. It was great to hear it again.
      I was in the trap of cleaner been, must re-clean afterwards.

      I tried, but he won’t come close so I just blew a kiss from you in his direction.
      Hugs to you though.xxx

  2. Your early week was really “hurting my feelings” with that lemon meringue… Ugh… i sooo miss lemon meringue pie.
    Sorry you had a day of tummy trouble, but it sounds like you recovered quickly. Maybe the con artists are stressing you into tummy trouble. Stress does that to me lately. But meringue does even worse… And now everyone knows me far too well. (I’m terribly allergic to eggs.)
    Big Al. LOL. You really need to make a comic book of that albino fish. He’s definitely got super powers. Mega-hugs! 😀

    • I’m so sorry sweetie. It wasn’t intended. At least I didn’t buy one this week. I’m not sure they use real eggs in the mass produced freezer ones, probably powdered. Would that be bad too?
      I did recover quickly thanks though I’ve had a couple of close calls since where I felt I was going to be but wasn’t. At least that takes my cooking out of the mix so it could have been stress.
      And talking of stress, there’s Big Al.Is that his Super Power?
      I hope nothing upsets your stomach from now on.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

      • Oh just teasing you David. You’d never hurt my feelings. (But no powdered eggs either.) Big Al? Well he can turn himself invisible by turning sideways, teleport in an instant, and don’t forget that hypnotic stare. 😀

      • There must be plenty of non=egg delicacies we can tickle your palate with Teagan. As for Big Al, maybe he just hasn’t been hugged enough yet, I’ll win in the end. I have delicate ways, ie, be nice or get flushed down the loo and take your chances down there. 😀

  3. Sorry to read about the gastro upset. They are grim. Had one myself a couple of months ago and was sure I had lost most of my organs in the process. Gratefully it didn’t last long. Have a great week, David. xx

    • I know what you mean Ardys and I sympathise. Still, I decided mine must be organs I could do without and I certainly didn’t want them back. I hope we’ll both be OK from now on.
      Thank you, I’ll try and have a great week but I wish you a Wonderful one.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  4. Sorry about the “trips to the bathroom” which is never fun in that aspect! Lemon meringue pie sounds fabulous. It might be on my menu this week. My son’s favorite, too. Have a great week, David, and stay well and safe.

    • Thank you Mary J, it wasn’t a fun day. The lemon meringue was great but this week it’s back to BFG unless I behave and persuade Mike to take it home when he goes. I hope your son gets his favorite though from your menu.
      I’ll stay well and safe sweetie. I wish you a truly wonderful week ahead.
      xxx Hugs Galore xxx

  5. Hope the cleaner works out.

  6. I agree with Teagan on the series about Al…It’s a problem that sometimes our body decides to change without telling us and things we used to eat quite happily suddenly have a bad effect, but sometimes it’s impossible to know. Let’s hope the cleaner works out…Good luck with finding the presents for the 65th birthdays. Ah, and thank for Mozart. Always a treat.

    • If Big Al wants a series he can come and write it himself. I had enough problems with the cat.
      Yes, my body rebelled and I faced a future of just ordinary foods, but now…. there’s no-one to stop me.
      Let’s hope the cleaner works…….
      The 65 th gifts are in hand now (at last), next stop Christmas.
      xxx Massive Hugs Olga xxx

  7. All right David, I’m going to give this blog entry a LIKE purely because of the Redbone video. I love that song. It’s one of the tunes that I used to bellow in the back of the eighteen wheeler trailers that I’d unload back in my warehousing days.

    Many thanks for the good grin.

    And I absolutely HATE when good food goes bad. Cream sauces are a no-no for me these days – and the pecan pie that I always loved is now way too rich for my weak-ass stomach acids.

    • Aw, that would have been a great echo chamber to sing Witch Queen in. I’m glad I found something there to please you. You’re welcome to the grin.
      Sorry the food is getting too rich for you, it’s like we’re becoming babies again.

  8. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    I made the mistake of beginning to read Lord Prosser’s weekly ship’s log (more twists and turns than a Rubik’s Cube) whilst coffee was brewing – as the weather a bit nippy now and not into the iced format a new pot has just been brewed and emptied. As usual an entertaining look into the life of an Ebay, Antique, fish (with and without chips) brother loving guy whose mission in life is to encourage all of us to hug more. He kindly referred to me this week and you may call me Octopussy (you will have to read the post to reassure yourselves that I use the term relevantly!)… Thanks David and huge hugs XXX

  9. Sorry about your stomach problems, David, but loved the videos! Oh, and that sofa your niece is on, OMG, I need one! 🙂

    And man, laughed way too much with this sentence- “I didn’t remove myself from bed until 4.33 am, the day’s half over by then” 😀 I wake up at 4:30 am everyday, so I kind of agree with you.

    Hugs!

    • Thanks Renata. I’m glad the sickness has gone now. I’m glad you liked the videos, they’re some of my favourites. And, I liked the settee too but I’m not shipping off to Spain to bring it back.
      If I get up as late as 4.30 I feel like I’ve indulged myself and should really have been working for an hour.
      xxx Massive Hugs to you xxx

  10. Ugh. There is nothing worse than tossing your cookies. I can handle gobs of pain–cut off one of my limbs with nothing more than a spoon and I can manage, but talking to Ralph on the Big White Phone? No way. I’m toast.
    I’m so sorry to hear about the worst part of your week, David.
    On the other hand, I’m happy to hear you’ll have some help, and maybe a little company with the cleaner. Fingers crossed it works out.
    And extra big hug this week. xxoox

    • That’s it! I must have had toast that morning and it’s that caused me to hound Ralph on the phone. Right, I’m going back to the lemon meringues now then.
      I admit, even tat is never the worst part of my week as it gives me a subject to write about, no, the worst part of my week is the boredom.
      Since I have major probs with strangers I wouldn’t be looking for too much company with the cleaner, and since the stress makes me stutter worse that George V I doubt the cleaner is going to want to concentrate on translation or sentence ending in my company.
      Tanks so much for the Hug which I now return with compound interest which I understand to mean they must be kept behind barbed wire.
      xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  11. Hey David, glad you’re feeling better.I want to take that cleaner to one side and give her a bloody good talking to. I really feel for you. I missed that thing I was bidding for on ebay (It was a vacuum cleaner). I meant to go for the kill, as you advised, but got too absorbed in watching the telly, and got to my computer five minutes too late. Still it was a bit pricey. So I don’t mind being such a twit. Have a good week.

    • I hope last week was just fist day jitters so this morning will go smoothly. She should be able to manage the bathroom/loo and to hoover a bedroom and short hallway in two hours I hope. I shan’t be happy if I have to go over it again. Thanks so much for caring though.
      There are times you’re meant to be watching TV to stop you getting too excited and overbidding. Sounds like this was one of them. There’s a little programme called Invisible Hand you can load and keep on your favourites bar. When you’re looking at something on a site like Amazon etc it lets you know if the same product is available cheaper elsewhere.. You could use that to stop you bidding too much as it has a search facility. Bidding last 10 seconds on Ebay is still a lot of fun though. Good luck if you haven’t got one yet.
      Have a Great Week. xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  12. Maggie Thom

    Good morning David. Another interesting week. Glad to hear you have someone in to do some cleaning. It does seem there are always growing pains when you start something new, hopefully it will be a better experience for you both this week. Many hugs. 🙂

    • Hello Lovely Maggie. How interesting a week is depends on your point of view. From here they’re mainly threatening.
      Thing were better today till she knocked my internet out for a couple of hours, but it’s forgivable so I’ll see her next week.
      Hope you have a wonderful week
      xxx Hugs Galore xxx

  13. I used to play a Mozart Sonata: the one in A.
    xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

  14. It’s apparent there’s a nasty novovirus travelling the globe, both Ardys & I and others we know had had it. I hope you have recovered.
    I’m not sure about your cleaning person… I’ve never had a lot of luck with them, about a 1 in 8 ratio of good to terrible. I find an agreed list helps mutual understanding.
    You’ve reminded me by your good-well organised example that I meant to think about Christmas shopping, make enquiries and lists… the decorations have been in the stores for ages.

    • I’m fully recovered thank you, I hope you and Ardys are well too now.
      The cleaner was vastly improved on Monday apart from kicking out my internet for 2 hours or so. You’re right, an agreed list will be best I think.
      Christmas shopping was so much easier when I thought of a gift that a lot of the people on my list would be able to use and started ordering from ebay last night. It will leave me to concentrate on the important ones.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  15. I hope things with the cleaning lady are working out for you. I’m so far behind that she has probably been and gone by now. lol
    Here’s to a lovely week David. Take care.

  16. Hi David, how do you do it, your posts are always so wonderful and such a treat. I might have to send you a list of what I have done in the week and ask you to make it sound interesting and wonderful.
    I am in agreement with you about butter rather than any other spread. I refuse to have anything but butter and strawberry jam on my toast. I’m sure I read that spread has near the same property’s as paint. Not 100% sure but something distant in back of my brain.
    I am very jealous that your lady will be doing some ironing for you. Ironing is almosta swear word in our house. I hate it! Always leave to last minute and but clothes that dont need ironing. Lucky you.
    It must be a joy to see Reuben walking, now the fun starts for everyone!
    Thank you for 2 UB40 songs, a firm favourite of mine so thanks for including.
    Hope your well and look forward to reading more,
    Take care,
    Kim

    • Hello Dear Kim, perhaps that’s where my talent lies- lying !
      I remember years ago hearing or reading that it was just 1% off being plastic, and I know it doesn’t taste much different.I do use Lurpak and even that is blended with vegetable oils. They have a couple of new ones out that are absolutely foul.
      Oi, that’s a swear word in this house too so I call it I**ning. The agreement was she might do some if she has the time but I bet you time runs out before she gets to that.I’ll have to do it blindfold again so I can’t see it. Trouble is I get some strange creases in my trousers.Still. it makes life interesting.
      Yes, it’s a joy to see him walking but only if it’s away from me so I feel safe again.
      Ju and I both liked UB40 but I was surprised to find out the brothers had split up. I’m out of touch. I did like that one of Robin’s though. I do like Ali but have a problem understanding what he says a lot of the time..
      Take care of yourself
      Hugs to everybody xxxxxx
      David

  17. Your description of the toaster and making toast on Sunday made me giggle – sometimes I don’t know what the next paragraph will bring! You are a good narrator, David! HUGS

    • You are a very kind Lady Christie.Thank you so much. I’ve just finished reading your poem about friendship, you’re right, it must be treasured. I don’t mean buried in a hole at the bottom of the garden though.Perhaps I mean cherished. xxxxxxxx
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  18. Sorry to hear of your sickness, David. Please stay well!
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

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