Big Al F-f-forgets Himself & Stamped On.

Sunday 23rd of November.

A relatively late night followed by a relatively late morning leaves me quite tired today. I’m ready to fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I’m wishing I lived at a milliners in the middle of an earthquake. It was all of 4.40 am this morning when I got up. I could hear the rain outside and feel the general chill, you just knew it was Winter with it’s hand on the helm now. Slippers and dressing gown on, I leaned down to turn the computer on before heading to recreate scenes from Niagara Falls.                      All was ready for me when I got back so it was just a case of signing in when I sat at the desk. Surprisingly there weren’t too many messages waiting this morning so  I was able to take my time and savour them.  Before 7.00 am I’d caught up, refreshed and caught up again. I was feeling quite pleased with myself as I headed to the kitchen to see to the fish.

I switched the tank light on and prepared to feed them. All of them were in sight. Two of the plecs were lying quite still atop a Greek amphora which lay on it’s side the contents dispersed centuries ago. The third plec, the smallest of them was taking his life in his fins by climbing all over Big Al who didn’t move a muscle. Sharkey was making a nuisance of himself by harassing Little Al while Morecambe and Wise hovered near the feeding flap of the lid. Some flake went in and the two fighters chased it round pecking at small bits of it. The pellets were like hail on top of Big Al.but still he didn’t move though it did move the plec off his back. My responsibility was over and I didn’t want to see Big Al teach anyone a lesson, even if that lesson is that really he’s a pussycat. I turned away and took my meds.

My coffee came with me back to work.The pace of work coming in was slightly worse than my ability to deal with it (except by bunging it all in the bin) but it wasn’t so bad at that point that it was running away with me. Of course there were further delays when I had to be treated by a cardiac unit when Mike got up at 9.10 am without using his alarm. I knew it was him though when a gravelly voice uttered the word “Coffee” in such a plaintive way. How could I refuse? I made myself one too and joined him in  the lounge. Lisa, his daughter, my niece was due between 10.00 am and 11.00 am so I was trying hard to encourage him to get dressed. He is not a vision to be faced in a morning as I’m sure any of his ladies will attest to. It was towards the latter end of that time she arrived but luckily he’d clothed himself by then. I haven’t seen Lisa for a while and was surprised at the degree of pregnancy, her stomach almost matched her father’s ( OK, OK and mine). It hits home that she’s less than two weeks to go before the baby is due. I hope they’re not going for a curry today.

Once Lisa had had a cup of tea they left to go and collect Mike’s Dad and head over to wherever they were eating. I didn’t regret turning the invitation down as I’ve been exposed to the heat of all those candles on Mike’s birthday cakes before. I’m not keen on crowded events as you know and with Mike’s candles there, well….        As soon as they left me I flew back to the computer. It had been having fun while I was away and both mailboxes were choc a block I had to start weeding out the garbage to know where I stood. By noon one box was empty and I had 35 in the main one. It was time for lunch. I took my pre-food tablet lit  cigarette and settled until it was time to put the microwave on. I had food by 12.15 pm. As beef dinners go it wasn’t yesterday but it was passable. Rhubarb tart and custard to follow. I intended to do without my usual sleep so came though and managed one or two messages before I nodded off over the keyboard. I don’t appear to have carried on writing.

I was back by 2.00 pm though not fully compost mental so I promised myself a break as soon as I caught up. Somehow I managed that by 4.30 pm and left the room fully intending to nod off in my chair. I turned on the TV and got wrapped up in the film Bagger Vance. About 5.30 pm it finished and I came back in here to see what I’d missed. Far too much, but I had times as Mike and Lisa didn’t arrive back until about 7.15 pm. We sat and chatted for a while before Lisa picked up her own car and left to see her mother. Mike let me come back to work until 9.00 pm when there was a film on I said I’d watch with him. Damn ! Me and my mouth. I still had over 50 messages to go when he called me. The film was Green Hornet and I might have enjoyed it had it not been for the actor playing Green Hornet himself. I know it was billed as a comedy but he didn’t make me laugh. It was more cringe. Anyway, I was glad when 11.20 pm came and I could escape. I decided to do the blog now and leave the accumulate mail for tomorrow. When Mike leaves I’ll be able to scream in secrecy.

 

 

Reuben’s One Lump or Two injury from walking into a gate.

Monday.

I was treated today to a lie in of epic standards. 5.51 am I rose at and didn’t I feel cocky, though maybe I should rephrase that. With a quick visit to the loo out of the way I was seated at the computer for 6.00 am. That was when I realised there was a heavy price to pay for the extra time in slumber. Ouch. Still. I knew I’d all day to catch up.  My first stint took me to 7.00 am when I headed for the kitchen. Halfway there Mike’s alarm went off. I’d no idea whether it was by accident or design and he hadn’t mentioned having to be in Manchester before the 11.00 am he’s mentioned to me previously. Just in case, I put the kettle on then went straight to deal with the fish. I’m wondering if the tails of Morecambe and Wise are hypnotising Big Al or like a human watching a fish tank, just leaving him very relaxed. He seems very chilled at the moment and hasn’t glared at me for a couple of days now. Sharkey was chasing the smaller plecs and Little Al for getting to near whatever treasure he’s protecting. There’s no point in him going for Big Al or the big plec as he just comes to a dead stop against them and neither flinch. I put food in the tank and went about my business.

The meds were taken care of. The kettle had boiled and any repeat of the alarm quickly been dealt with so I just made my own coffee and went back to work. It was a case of drip, drip, drip like water on a stone, wearing away at the bulk. Luckily I seemed to be more than keeping pace with more incoming mail. I’m touching wood while I mention this but I don’t seem to have any mail from demented naked ladies, no proposals of marriage, no offers to read my future and best of all, no offers of a fortune from Africa. When I reached 8.00 am I was feeling quite hopeful. I reboiled the kettle and made Mike a drink which I took through. I told him in a very loud voice “Coffee up” and when I though I had his attention reminded him that Pauline was due in for 8.30 am and I needed him at least partly clothed above the pyjama trousers. I had no idea whether I got through to him or not but with a departing “Don’t forget the coffee” I left. Fair play by 8.25 am he was out of the bedroom, mainly clothed and had brought his coffee in to here to sit on the bed while I tried to work.

8.30 am  came and went as did 9.00 am.No sign of Pauline. I asked Mike to check the phone which he did but reminded me that I hadn’t left the house yesterday or this morning. There was definitely nothing from Saturday either. I’m left to assume she’s not coming again.  Mike made moves to start his journey at 9.45 am and I left the house at the same time he did to take my prescription request in. It didn’t take very long but while out I accidentally fell into the sandwich shop and found a bacon bap in my hand. Oops. When I got home I took a pre-food tablet and enjoyed myself. Late morning I had a text from Lis to see if I was free. I said of course I was and she came down about 11.00 am as she’d been in town anyway. It’s always a delight to see her and we had a great natter.I passed her a book I’d had waiting for her on recording family history and she seemed pleased. At the end of the week she’s going to see Charley so I asked her to carry my love.She left about midday and I was sorry to see her go but loved the hugs and kiss I got as compensation.  At 12.15 pm I  decided to take my normal break though I didn’t need lunch of course. By normal I do mean I fell asleep in the chair again before the end of the programme and didn’t wake until 1.30 pm. It was back to work then and the price I paid was I couldn’t catch up until almost 4.30 pm. At 4.45 pm I went through and took my next pre-food tablet then sat down with some chip baps and the most minute piece of BFG left by Mike ever. With the use of a good magnifying glass I managed to find it. I stayed until 6.30 pm after Eggheads.

Work has been steady since I came back through. Nothing too tedious but nothing allowing long breaks either. I’m fairly sure I could get an early night ready for my outing tomorrow but I’m not sure I want too much of a build up to add to that which I’ll miss in the morning. I may just pop back there now to see if I can clear a little more.

I’m not doin’ tricks till you feed me.

Wanna Play?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday.

I’m  wondering if Somnos lost me in a bet to one of the older more sadistic gods or whether his more ‘Impish’ side is showing today. It must have been approaching 1.00 pm by the time I’d finished faffing last night and had the shortest of reads but there we were at 3.11 am and wide awake again. There appeared to be no point in complaining since either the older god had turned his hearing aids off or Somnos had skipped merrily off to his next little venture. Even the bloody sandman hadn’t had time to get round and I was sincerely hoping he didn’t since the eyes were now wide open. There was a good side to all this of course and that was I’d be able to leave the house with very little post undone with any luck. I turned the computer on as I passed on my way to the loo.

When I came back I tried to log in to the bank but even that wouldn’t oblige today and suggested I try later. OK, I signed into my main email account. Hm. only 57, should be able to knock that out of play quite easily. I made a start. No obvious bad ones to get rid of immediately but there were some advertising Black Friday specials that I wasn’t able to stop myself looking at. At that point I’m typing with my fingers crossed that I don’t find one of the Christmas presents I just bought at half price. That would spoil my day completely. I finished the mail in that box and opened the secondary account . There were less in there and by 5.30 am juggling them, I was clear in both. There was no point in seeing to the fish at that time so I decided top get washed and dressed ( based on the predicted weather for today) and have a sit in the lounge. I’d no sooner sat down that that sneaky beggar zonked me again. It was 6.45 am when I next opened my eyes. The sandman had been so maybe he’s brought the unions in against Somnos.

Since I had to have my meds before going out I went through and fed the fish, ignored their antics ( I’m sure Big Al called me a rude name as I turned away) took my meds and made a drink. As usual the drink came with me back to the desk and as I drank it I was able to catch up again. I was very impressed. Whoever the goddess of emails is I owed her one for that. There was just time to take my cup through to soak, get my coat on and get my bag ready to take. I stepped outside the front door and I suppose you could call it fresh. Fresh from the Arctic I think. My fingers stuck to the key as I tried to turn it in the lock but I managed to get away with a few ouches.  I went out through the tunnel to the main road and crossed over. I’d not taken above a dozen steps when the Saint driving the bus pulled up beside me to save me a walk. And it is a walk to the bus stop believe me. I was really grateful. The bus was freezing having just come out of the depot and when we drew up at the stop for someone else to get on, an iceberg must have drawn up close by as it got colder the moment the door was opened. We were three quarters of the way to Chester when we stopped shivering and the heat from the engine penetrated the cold. I chipped the icicles off my nose and prepared to get off.

Yvonne and Reuben arrived a minute or so after me and we took a walk round a nearby shop while we waited for the shop with out cafe to open. When we went back the cafe wasn’t open yet so we had a look round the clothes. Half an hour later the cafe still wasn’t open so we set off elsewhere and ended up in BHS (British Home Stores) where I had a bacon toastie ( under protest) while Yvonne had some breakfast and fed Reuben. Unfortunately as I passed my bag to Yvonne for the gifts that were inside it ( a new dress for her and some mini cereals for Reuben ) he saw some chocolate I’d bought earlier and the recognition was instant. Though breakfast was almost eaten from that point on he wanted no more and pointed at the chocolate. Then the siren started and much as it pains us to give in, we did. All went quiet, such bliss. We packed up and headed off towards some other shops to pass some time until we were due to meet Lisa and her Mum at 11.00 am. At a quarter past we got a message to say they couldn’t make it. In one way I was relieved as I didn’t fancy her having the baby in the middle of Chester in the freezing cold. I’d have been tempted to nip into the vacant place to keep warm.

We headed off towards the market where I’d seen the new shops last time I was here. One of them still wasn’t open despite having looked ready last time and having the windows cleaned. The other shop was massive. Time had passed so quickly it was 12.45 pm before I knew it and had to say goodbye and go for my bus. I waved them off and went outside. The market is close to the bus station and I had time to go to the loo first and then have a ciggie as I walked to my stop. The bus came and was quite crowded so I didn’t get my usual seat. I managed to miss much of the journey by nodding off leaning on my sticks. It must have been a source of amusement to some every time I jerked awake as my grip on them loosened.  I was home and in the house by 2.00 pm . At that point I found a message on the phone from Pauline to say she isn’t well and can she come tomorrow to clean? I guess she’s forgotten I can’t use the phone to answer her and Yvonne is now on her way to work. I’ll have to see if she turns up.

The mail was horrendous when I got back which I’d more or less expected. I decided to work until 5.00 pm then make myself some tea and watch a little TV. I came back through at 6.30 pm and apart from one loo break, one tablet break and the time it took to get changed I’ve been here ever since. It was 11.08 pm when I was finished with mail and I shall have one last check in a few minutes. Tomorrow I shall be in all day but have my games night so I want to make the day as easy as possible.

Late breaking News. They still love me! I had my new fraud email  but I honestly think they’ve forgotten who I am.

Dear Allah Elected One.
I would appreciate your immediate response to this mail because of my condition. My name is Mrs. Maimunna Mohamed from Tunisia I married to one Mr. Mohamed Diallo here in Burkina Faso unfortunately he died after a brief illness that lasted for only five days, I am now looking too weak and fragile to do things myself because I was diagnosed for Breast cancer about 3years ago, I and my late husband were married for eleven good years without a child as death departed us in 2009, After going through some files of my late husband I discovered a Deposit Certificate of $8.2million Eight Million Two hundred Thousand dollars in his account. 

You know how the rest of it goes…….

A study in grumps.

 

                                                                                                                  Back in action.

 

Wednesday.

Pity ( or maybe conscience if gods can have such ) was showered on me this morning and I was allowed to sleep until 4.29 am. Considering it was 1.00 am bed and taking into account yesterday’s mood, I was grateful for the treat. There was more mail than I’d have liked with some twenty of them falling in from before midnight Tuesday. My first job was to check the Euro lottery. There’s still hope for me as it was another rollover to Friday’s draw but my chances remain pretty slim if they keep ignoring every single number I play. If I have 6 they draw 5 and 7, If I have 16 they draw 15. The odds are that sometime I have to choose something that’s there. Like most people I can spread the happiness around if I win but also like most people my first job would be to find a house large enough to accommodate all my online friends…not all at once though.

I’d caught up by 7.00 am and went through to feed the fish feeling very self-satisfied. Morecambe and Wise came straight to the top as the feeding flap was opened. It didn’t take long to start on the flakes as I put them in. I also dropped in some pellets of algae for the catfish which most of the others are varieties of. Sharkey pounced on one immediately as did one of the smaller plecs. Little Al came to investigate but got too close to Sharkey and was chased off. He needs to be a bit bigger before he can shrug it off. Big Al however came past the food to the glass. Thinking there was friendly intent there I placed my finger on the glass.  It was more like fiendly intent for as I lowered my face to talk to him he turned round and swam off. Not in a normal fashion though, it seemed to be like a moped or something similar as the journey seemed to be like someone unable to hold their cheeks tight enough when they walk and there are a series of little put-put sounds. A case of air assisted passage. Yes, I think Big Al farted in my face.

Shocked and amused I had my meds then took my coffee back to work. A fair bit had accumulated in the short time I was out of the room so there was some catching up to do. I emailed Yvonne and asked her to phone Pauline to see whether she’s OK and intending to come back. She’ll be here next Monday. Working my way through the mail I found one further fraud today. One suggested a diplomat has a box full of cash waiting to be delivered to me one I provide him with my full name and my address. The diplomat is not supposed to know the contents of the box, just to deliver it. I think it’s possible that this one is a scam to steal identity since they wouldn’t need bank details if they’re giving cash. But, my psychic is back too, suggesting I need to know what’s coming up in the next 15 days again. She’s very persistent for someone who wasn’t going to bother me again. If it’s really that interesting why not just send a letter saying THIS is going to happen in the next 15 days so I could check it out on a daily basis. Is is just me being logical here or what?

The postman came and delivered the parcel that wasn’t due until January and which I was only notified of on Monday. I now have a duplicate gift but it will probably prove useful. He also delivered one third of a gram of gold which had been taken from a Scottish river. Before I start a new goldrush I should point out you’d have to be there a very long time to pick up anything worthwhile. This is a very small speck but fun to have. Towards lunchtime I managed to catch up with both lots of mail and went through to the lounge and started writing some more Christmas Cards. The ones for abroad need to go next week. Heavens, it’s December in a few days. When I’d had enough of that ( it’s hard to force my hands to be still ) I made lunch and settled on pea & ham soup with bread and butter. I enjoyed that while I watched Bargain Hunt with Ju’s old hairdressing cape around me to catch any spills. The problem with a moustache is that it retains and then dribbles. Once that was over I washed the pots and went back to work. Yes, no sleep, I bet you’re shocked but read on. I was doing OK with the mail I thought until I woke up and an hour had passed and there were about 7 or 8 ‘post to Twitter’s’ on my screen. I must have still been sort of reading the mail and wanting to tweet it. My fingers were crossed I hadn’t answered it. Luckily for me I hadn’t deleted anything and was able to read it again and comment where needed. The thing is, I did want to tweet all those I started.

At 4.30 pm I stopped work.There weren’t many left at that point but I needed to have something to eat in order to take the second lot of diabetic pills. I had a bag of Quavers and three slices of malt bread with butter. That was fine and allowed me plenty of time to wash up. There were no messages from Lee so I assumed he was coming tonight. I hoped so as there’s a little glitch I need him to look at. Poor soul is going to think it’s the only reason I’m happy to see him even though it isn’t. I put the usual quiz on and awaited the arrivals. Dil and Matt arrived about 5.30 pm and we watched the quiz together after I’d seen to drinks for them. As soon as it was over we set up the table and got started with the Yahtzee. Damn I’m having no luck with that. Matt 3, Dil 2, me just 1 game. While we were playing my phone sounded and there was a text from Lee saying he couldn’t make it. Such a shame . We started on Nomination and things just went from bad to worse. I started with the fist two or three hands looking promising and my score was steady but thereafter I couldn’t have won a hand if there was only me playing. I lost and lost badly. There were tears and tantrums before bedtime. Dil was the winner.

With enough time left to play another game we dealt for Crazy 8’s. This one didn’t start well for me having been caught twice for large pick-up’s one of 13 and one of 15 cards. I was going to get another pack of tissues when things changed. Play went my way and I started to get enough pick-up cards in my hand to force the others to suffer. I went on to win hands down putting poor Matt over the 301 score though I still maintain it was his father who made him pick up a lot and not me. I wouldn’t do a thing like that. They left just after 9.30 pm and I had a quick tidy up, though I need to put the throw in the wash as there are ink marks on it, washed the mugs and went through. There were only 78 posts but they took a long time so I broke off at 50 to see to the blog and am going back to them now. It’s already gone midnight so I hope the god are feeling kind tonight.

R.I.P Jimmy Ruffin,

Thursday.

The gods let me go to bed about 12.30 am so I took a little time for a chapter before sleep. It was 4.21 am when the cat landed on my stomach and I sat up in shock, wide awake. Hang on though, I don’t have a cat. He died 2 years ago now, even before Ju, and there’s no chance Mike would be up at that time even if he was here. There was also nothing on the bed Which included the ceiling as I did look up. If this is my new imaginary alarm clock I’m not very keen on it. If this is the gods having a joke, I’m not very keen on them.

Perhaps it was as well I woke as I needed a widdle ( I so love the variety of words for this one simple action) so I switched the computer on as I passed. When I eventually got back I signed in and went straight to mail. There was no problem with the mail itself but it was slow going as I wasn’t concentrating well. I worked up to 7.00 am then went through to the kitchen. Big Al must have been in a bad mood as all the others were keeping well out of his way. He was in the amphora that’s usually Sharkey’s domain and everyone was giving it a wide berth. Luckily the opening faced away from me so I thought I was safe in just putting food in and leaving. The problem is where the amphora is placed is very close to where the pellets drop. Ah well, you only live once (I think). I dropped the flake first for Morecambe and Wise then dropped the pellets of algae for the rest. Sharkey rushed to greet the shower straight past Big Al’s nose. Al turned to follow him and saw me. Or maybe he just heard my indrawn breath and cry of “No Sharkey, No”,  I let the food flap go and the resulting bang woke the plecs up to see what their great food god in the sky was doing( or something like that). It didn’t please Big Al too much either. He moved further round and Little Al came into view as though Big Al had him tucked under a fin. As I moved backwards Big Al advanced until I was with my back against the counter and he had his nose pressed against the glass looking daggers. “Good morning Big Al” I said, “your breakfast is there.” Then I forced myself to turn away from his hypnotic gaze.

I had my meds and made the usual coffee and departed for my room. I really didn’t feel like going out as I have a cold but at 9.00 am I forced myself so I could get some bread and milk from Pauline. Mike may come today and I want to be ready. I also needed my lottery tickets doing ready for my big win tomorrow night. Back at home the postman brought only rubbish for me so that went straight to recycling. By 11.00 am I was up to date and went to the lounge to do some more Christmas cards. I think I’m past the half way mark now but I may need a mortgage ( that’ll please the landlord) to post abroad. Then I did a quick pizza and chips for lunch and watched my antiques show. Going back to work wasn’t hard as I wanted to be free for Mike when he came but by 4.00 pm I was up to date again. back to the TV for a while. I got a text from Mike to say he was on the way so I expect him about 6.30 pm.  From 5.00 pm to 6.00 pm I worked on the mail to make sure there was nothing pressing when he came. I went to turn the light off on the tank, prepare Mike’s mug and boil the kettle.

6.30 came and with it came a text about the state of the traffic, his bladder and the need for a cigarette. He said he wouldn’t be long but it was about 7.15 pm before he appeared. I settled him with a drink and we exchanged war stories. It seems his new arrangement is to go to his fathers on a Friday from now on and spend longer with him. That’s good and it means on Sunday he’s not under time constraints to get to his Dad’s after lunch before heading home. He can go straight home now. It also means he can buy fish and take them home if he wants to. We watched an unusual programme about two men scouring the US for old junk to sell on. Checking old buildings, farms and barns for anything of value. Then it was time for an hour of Big Bang Theory with a new episode. Pure magic. By far the best comedy on TV and so well acted. At 9.00 pm it was time to come through to work again. Caramba, I have a real problem. Messages about Adobe needing to be updated and Java also, neither of which might be genuine and both of which are bringing adverts galore with them. I can’t access my emails without adverts coming up instead even though I’ve been and taken off an ad programme that had downloaded to my system somehow today. I can’t access the Adobe.com without this bloody thing flashing up on screen about updates and it won’t let me update from the actual .com file. I’m very frustrated. I’ve decided to do the blog a little early and see if I can access the mail on the laptop instead. I hope you’re wishing me luck. I had to run a scan which took until 12.50 am to finish but I wasn’t going to work on the mail tonight. The laptop was next to useless. It’s so old now it just can’t cope and keeps hanging before I can sign into the mail. I just have to hope the scan worked after it remove an adware piece of malware it found.

Friday.

Such joy, a 4.20 am start today after a 1.00 am finish but at least I wasn’t assaulted awake this time. The people who’ve read Oscar’s book Memoirs of a Superior no doubt think I was joking but that cat really was my alarm clock. He couldn’t be set to anything except Oscar time which meant when he was bored or hungry or just vindictive but landing on my stomach was a favourite way of ensuring I woke all at once with no pause to come round gradually. THAT’S IT…..the reason for my early mornings is FEAR and a long memory, after all we had him 18 years.

After a trip to the loo I came back to start work. All the problem of yesterday came back as soon as I turned on the computer. That’s despite the hours I hung around running scans. In the end I just did a system restore this morning and things seemed to be OK.  My post has taken a lot longer to appear but I have eventually been able to see it and deal with it. Anyway, it was almost 5.00 am before I got to start today. I could only work until 7.0 am because it’s Friday which of course is drugs day and I wanted it out of the way before Mike gets up and I know he’s ha ha set his alarm ha ha for 8.00 am. First things first, I fed the fish under the guiding eye  of Big Al but once I closed the lid he just swam lazily away to tell his congregation breakfast was up. I took my meds then brought the drugs drawer through to start doing the refills. I have to be ready to get new boxes from the drugs delivered this week to add to the drawer to take out again to put into the daily boxes. It can be a long drawn out job. I finished and made a coffee just as Mike’s alarm went off. He was getting up early to take me to the jewelers in Holywell but for reasons I can’t mention I’d decided I didn’t need to go today. I decided not to make hid drink but just to leave him after he turned the alarm off. I could wake him at 9.00 am instead. My coffee and I took a walk back to my bedroom.

I fully intended to put in an hour’s hard work before disturbing Mike but I’d just sat down when I heard the patter of his tiny feet going through to the lounge. I went back to the kitchen and made him a drink. He’d started playing a game on his phone and since he seemed happy I went back to work. Eventually he came through and mentioned our trip to town starting at 9.00 am. I explained my change of heart saying I didn’t need to go today but that he could get an early start to his Dad’s.  He was still here playing the same game at 10.10 am. The postman came and delivered a treat for me that I’d bought but all day I’ve been feeling guilty about it and think I’ll pass it on to someone else.  Eventually he left and I went back to work. Unbelievably I was finished by 11.30 am. I got changed into jeans though left the dressing gown on. Oops, the door went and it was one of the wardens come for a Friday chat. How I wished I’d got fully dressed. She chatted for a while and then said her goodbyes. I had my lunch and watched my Bargain Hunt.

At 1.00 pm I went back to work and by 2.30 pm was again up to date. I finished getting dressed and went out to the Post Office with my cards for foreign climes and also picked up 20 second class stamps for my home cards as there’s plenty of time for them. I had to offer to hire myself out as a ‘giggle Oh’ in order to pay for them. It was coppers short of £25.00. I’m sure it would be cheaper to hand deliver myself to Australia and the U.S. Back at home I started bringing myself back up to date when I must have nodded off for a moment or three. It was 4.05 pm and I had to go like the clappers if I wanted to finish by 4.30 pm. Wishful thinking, but I was out for the start of a quiz at 5.00 pm. Mike texted to say he was on his way back at that time so I expected him to be here for Eggheads at 6.00 pm. He wasn’t. Maybe the airport had him circling because the runways were busy. At 6.30 pm when I usually go for a shower I had another text saying he was getting himself something from the chippie, would I like something? My willpower was bad ( as was my memory as I’d had chips at lunchtime) so I asked for just chips. I thought he was round the corner at our chippie and would be minutes. No, he arrived at 7.05 pm because he’d been at the shop in Holywell and parking was awful since it was the turning on of the Christmas lights. Damn, I’d missed Santa and his reindeer. So, I had my chips, washed my plate and decided to go for my shower. Mike finished up and came through to wash my hair for me, I showered and went through to watch Mastermind. I know I saw the end of that which would have been 8.30 pm but that was it until almost 9.00 pm. There was a programme on about tiger cubs in the house which I had about 15 minutes of and then I decided to come and do battle with the post. 122 messages. It’s a late one again despite tomorrow being shopping day. By 11.30 pm I’d given up in disgust as messages wouldn’t load quickly and wouldn’t cancel at all. I’ve done about 3 in an hour. Time to turn off now and have a short read.

Saturday.

I finally figured it out. Somnos is holding one of those competitions like ‘How many peas in the jar’ or ‘Guess the baby’s name’ up there only he’s taking bets on the nearest guess to the time I’ll get up between 3.00 am and 5.00 am. I’m pretty sure he’s cheating though and picking a time between those guessed. It was 4.21 am again this morning. I was a bit tired and niggly because of the computer problems last night, yesterday daytime and the day before. I pai a visit to the loo and then with fingers crossed sat at the computer. I’m here to tell you now that it’s just possible crossed fingers don’t work. Today at least I could work on emails but they took an epoch to load and whenever I deleted one I’d get a message to say a problem had occurred. I therefore spend from 4.30 am to 6.30 am working on just yesterday’s mail. Needless to say I won’t be needing the services of a barber in future because I pulled the hair out by the roots. Despite the frustration I felt and the stress of being behind I still stopped at 6.30 am to get dressed and then go through to see to the fish. I refused to meet any google eyes today as I knew they had a nice surprise compliments of their Uncle Mike a little later and I didn’t want it dragging out of me. I took my meds. put the kettle on for Mike an made myself a coffee in the machine.

I didn’t hear Mike’s alarm go off so I assume it happened while the kettle was boiling and deafening me. I placed his drink on the bedside table and woke him to let him know it was there. Time then to start getting the bin bags together to go out. After I’d emptied my bedroom bin and taken it through to the kitchen to add to the bigger waste bag I took that and the food waste out. When I came back in  Mike hadn’t moved so I called out not to let his coffee go cold. Surprisingly there was an answer and it wasn’t something ending in …off!  He asked if his alarm had gone off. I said I hadn’t heard it but that I assumed so. Before he could come back with a rejoinder to cut me down I just told him the time.”Oh” he said and he moved. By the time I’d taken out the recycling bags he was in the lounge. Guess what, he was gaming again. He even does it with the TV on now, I’m hooking him up to Gamers Anonymous soon. Ten minutes after we should have left he wasn’t even dressed but once I swore to remove his supply of sweets he shifted.

When we reached ASDA I was expecting scenes of carnage rather than the orderly little queue I found there for Black Saturday. They hadn’t even given out all the discount vouchers before they closed the door as no-one was waiting. Meanwhile back at the main door we were going in to be met by trolleys coming out filled with 32″ and 50″ TV’s as well as kiddies toys. After we’d bought Ju’s flowers we strolled in the direction of the discounted stuff and there was a lot left. Obviously good behaviour were the watchwords of the day. I was very restrained much to Mike’s surprise. We did the shopping in quite good time and went for a coffee. From there tit was time to head for Flint. I needed a couple more shops including the pet shop to pick up something to tie in with Uncle Mike’s gift. That done we went for a coffee with Ceri, Kyle and the other Temptations gang. Mike likes his banter. When Ceri mentioned the heat from her drink had made the crumpet in her mouth swell he called out “I bet that’s not the first time you’ve said that” to which she agreed while choking with laughter.

By the time we got home it was 12.45 pm so we decided to dump the shopping until later and head straight off to dinner. It took us a while to travel to The Ivy but we were both pleased we did. Tariq is opening up another room for the various gifts sold there and the rooms were connected by an open fireplace . Very clean lines with an electric fire between them. It was making good progress. We had hugs from Tariq and kisses from Angie. Nods and a greeting from Rob because we haven’t trained him in Hugs yet. Angie made our drinks while we perused the menu. Mike had a beef Masala and I had a breakfast without the horrible potato thingy and no toast but with the addition of some chips so it was now a brunch.

Leaving there left no time to go on elsewhere as the panic had built up nicely now. When we got home I was going to attack the work straight away but Mike needed a hand at the tank first. He’d brought a new exterior pump and some tubing, I had bought  Y junction and he set up a much bigger curtain of air across the interior back wall of the tank. Maybe I should get some coloured lights next? After that I set to. Things had changed from this morning. The cancelled messages stayed dead and the speed of loading was great. One thing I noticed though was that my link to Google translate had disappeared. Strange. I worked from 3.30 pm to 6.00 pm and managed to catch to to 3.30 pm when I started. I had to take a break so joined Mike until 8.30 pm when he moaned at being left alone, but not too much. At 8.30 pm I came back and things were still OK so I had the chance to catch up until it was time to start the blog. Fingers crossed all is now OK.

Have a Great New Week everyone. Hugs to all.

The Bells, The Bells. & I Wuff You.

Sunday 16th Nov 2014

I was pretty tired last night and couldn’t read for long. I think my light was out before 1.00 pm.  I slept until 4.24 am and was up with the larks, or rather I was up before them to make their breakfast. At least there was chance to make a start on the mail, and what a bunch there was. Last night’s blog seemed to have a very good response. Of course I had to get a tissue out and dab my eyes as so many thought it funny I’d almost choked to death  but we live in an odd world. Not one iota of sympathy that my tablets were wasted, that my wall was a mess or that my toes almost pointed up.

It was getting towards 7.00 am when I realised I was tired. It was the bruised forehead that gave me my first clue. Anyone watching would have thought I was trying to do a karate trick of breaking my desk in half. I just hope there were no garbage emails as well. I haven’t heard of any to date. I went through to the kitchen and played sneaky by turning the tank on first to see what I could catch them doing. Thinking about that statement now, it sound like I’m a voyeur but I’m not. Everyone was swimming about slowly with the exception of the Royal Bodyguards the dumb plecs, and his Majesty Big Al who upon seeing me swam lazily towards me, casually flicked his tail in disgust and swam slowly away again in an ‘I’m nor scared of you’ pose. I have the feeling I’m in the fishy equivalent of the dog house again.

Shoulders slumped I turned away and put the main light on and took my meds. Fresh ones, not those from the wall. I made a coffee and took it through to the lounge. It didn’t take long o drink and so I close my eyes for a minute that became an hour. It was almost 8.30 am before I went back to the bedroom to work. There was a lot of concentration going on so any early noise didn’t penetrate but finally I realised Mike was up. It was only 9.20 am, it was Sunday. I went through to make him a drink and he told me I’d been snoring away quite happily at 3.15 am when he’d been woken by a bang and padded round the house looking for the source. Unusually I’d heard nothing. He hadn’t even gone to bed until 2.00 am which made the puzzle of him getting up even bigger. I came back to finish the message I’d been working on when I’d heard him and then joined him.

We nattered aimlessly for a while…a long while since we didn’t get dressed until about 10.30 am. Then at 11.00 am we were on our way out and heading for Prestatyn. Once we reached there I suggested going to the Tesco Supermarket to look for something and while there Mike bought me tea and coffee pods for my machine and also bought sweets for The Ivy. We went to the shop I wanted to pick up some hessian Christmas sacks, some gift bags and a couple of small stocking presents for Reuben. I couldn’t understand why Mike was piling the bags on his arm until we were at the till and he tried to pay for them. There was battle royal as no way was I letting him pay for my shopping especially when it involved gifts for others.”Right” he said, “I’m paying for lunch then”. And he did even though I tried to. The Ivy was very quiet when we went in and Tariq was talking to us about doing Sunday lunches in the future though Shella isn’t keen and prefers to do different meals for those who don’t want the traditional. I can understand both camps as can Mike. We both like the traditional meal but there are plenty of places serving that. We probably won’t move no matter what they serve though a lot of the specials don’t appeal to me. I did drop plenty of hints that the Hotpot from last week was a welcome addition. By the time we left the place had started filling up quite nicely so maybe Tariq will have a rethink.

We left and came home so Mike could start his journey back to the Midlands. Ah, I’ve just figured out why he isn’t very tall, surely the Midlands is when the Baggins’s live in Tolkien’s book? Just a sec, I need to start running about now. He was calling it at World of Pets on his way to see if they had any female fighters like mine since they’re so colourful. That left me on my tod to try and catch up. A monstrous job given how long it had been since I touched it. 152 were waiting. I started at 3.00 pm and finished at 5.58 pm. At that point I needed a break badly and went through to watch some TV. I ended up with a Sherlock Holmes film starring Rupert Everett. I watched it while demolishing a piece of strawberry and rhubarb tart that Mike had had less than half of yesterday. There’s enough for my tea tomorrow too.

At 8.00 pm I turned off, went through to take my tabs and found the fish light still on. I waited till Big Al turned his back before turning it off then I legged it to my room. Someone had been very busy again so there was another pile waiting but as most were very complimentary I was in a forgiving mood. I finished those at 11.00 pm to start the blog and have no idea how many are waiting now. I may just have an early night as I’m being MuJo’d tomorrow.

Two very clever pictures doctored by Yvonne using an app on her phone called Cut Me In. Brilliant.

The trip to Paris Ju and I never got.

A change of venue,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday.

I didn’t get my early night after all but Somnos must have known he was risking his kneecaps to mess with me so I didn’t wake until 5.27 am today. Naturally today being the day of the visit I might have forgiven him for waking me a bit earlier. As usual I made the trek to the loo then came back and started on the mail. I needed to clear as much as possible. At 7.00 am I went to feed the fish. All of them moved to the back of the tank except Big Al who was joined by Little Al presumably for lessons in intimidation. It was the wrong morning to try glaring at me. “Boo” I said and watched Little Al skitter to join the others who seemed frozen in the water, little fins going ten to the dozen just to stay in place. Big Al had not moved of course when I’d spoken the first time. “Well, do you want feeding or not” I asked in  very uppity voice. The others seemed to take heart from this and started to swim about normally. With a last glance Big Al turned as slowly as possible and swam over to Little Al as if to say “That’s how to do it.” I placed some food in the slot and resigned myself to warfare again. No more walking in and asking how my little fishes are. I couldn’t decide whether to turn quickly or to go slowly as had Big Al. I was resigned to doing it with dignity whatever. I didn’t quite full that off though as my feet turned one way and my body the other so even with my feet now pointing away, my body was still facing the fish. I almost had to unscrew myself from the floor to re-adjust my spinal column.

I took my sprays, had a pre-food tab, took my normal meds, smoked a timing cigarette and put the toaster on. As the toast was doing I prepared a coffee. The toast was nice with lashings of butter I could have floated a yacht in. It took two kitchen rolls just to clean my moustache and fingers. If I’f had anyone to kiss I’d have slid off them. I took the two post-food tabs with my coffee and went back to work. I couldn’t work for long though as I needed to be dressed before Pauline ( the cleaner not the shop) got here. I’d just made it before the front door opened meaning I needed a change of clothes already. I asked for some help to change Mike’s bed but as I couldn’t find nails we settled on just the bedding. That went quite well. Then I asked if we could do the lounge with visitors due this morning. I returned to work to try and catch up. Next thing I know is the sound of breaking glass. I have a tall stand in the hallway that takes tealights. About a dozen of them. Some in clear glass and some few in red glass. Pauline had run the hoover into the base of the stand and one of the red glasses was broken. I have two spare clear glass ones but no red ones. I don’t use real tealights there as it’s directly beneath the smoke detector so I shall have to check and see if the battery driven ones are intact before Christmas as they serve as my hall decorations. I have one group of lights intended to go round the lounge window for festive cheer.

Pauline left at 10.10 am and I came away (screaming) from the computer so I was ready for MuJo as they arrived. I went through to the lounge but decided against smoking in there so wandered into the kitchen and turned the fan on. It was about 10.45 am when they arrived. I saw to drinks and then listened to the story about why they were visiting today which is very unusual for them. They have a very full week ahead of them and they didn’t want to miss another week which is nice. The suggestion was we went to the Bells( of St Mary’s) for lunch for a change and then into Prestatyn if that was OK. I didn’t want to tell them I’d been there with Mike yesterday but I didn’t mind another visit anyway. Then John asked when was the last time I’d been there and I had to confess which started another round of ‘where shall we go then’ talks. In the end I managed o convince them the original plan was fine and we set off about 11.20 am.

It wasn’t too crowded when we got there which was nice and we had a choice of seats. It was my turn to pay and no-one argued this time for a change. We ordered 3 carvery meals and each had a coffee or a soft drink and the bill was still less than £20.00. You’d expect to have a poor meal for that money but not so. I do like the Bells, they might not allow me half a cow on my plate but they’re not mean with it, but everything else is help yourself which is great since I’m partial to my potatoes. And before anyone (anywhere) says anything, I had leeks and carrots too ( No way was I having sprouts or cauliflower cheese-ugh). Muriel had Turkey and John had Gammon with Turkey. There is also a half chicken option and even a fish and chips. Mike and I have said for a long time we’re going to go there for breakfast since that’s another help yourself meal and If I’m lucky they might do fried bread. The meal was very nice but we all left their full and headed down the road to Prestatyn. First stop the pound shop where I did buy a couple more sacks and a few other things. We then went for a coffee before John went to guard the car and Mu and I had a wander round M & S. Before heading home we had a trip to ALDI where you’ll be surprised to know I bought nothing.

At home they didn’t stay long as it was starting to get dark. It was about 4.00 pm. After I’d waved them off I scorched the path in my speed to get in and start work again. I’d been away 6 hours and who knows what I could expect. Well I got 183 and knew I couldn’t stop work until they’d gone as there would be another batch waiting from 4.00 pm onwards. No break for TV programmes until I finished at 6.55 pm. I went through to get some strawberry and rhubarb tart and watched a couple of episodes of MASH. At 8.00 pm I came back in and had 102 from that 4 hour stretch. I finished those at 10.15 pm and decided to do this early  because I may decide to leave the post early tonight and try for sleep if I start yawning.

Talk to the hand pussycat

Tuesday.

It was 5.08 am this morning when I swung my legs out of bed and groped for my slippers with my feet. Years ago if Yvonne had been around she’s have gone “Yuk, tarantula toes” before I got my slippers on. It’s been so long since I saw my feet they might even have a comb-over by now. Anyway, I didn’t have he light on yet so I wouldn’t have sen them even if I could. I have a light cord over my bed but I never use it in case I tug the emergency cord by mistake. It’s a pain having to explain to the control what a divvy you are  and believe me I speak from experience. I did a sharp left by my chair and turned the light on as I left the room to head for the loo and my rendition of  Ol’ Man River complete with sound effects.

When I eventually got back I slipped my dressing gown on as there was a little bite in the air and then sat down and got ready for battle. The machine didn’t take too long to warm up and I was soon in the thick of it. I didn’t dare open the photograph one loopy woman had sent me as it would have meant putting teatowels over all the pictures in my room, especially the one with the teddy bear. My wife was no prude but I’m not sure she’d appreciate me getting both barrels at this time of the day, and as for my parents and grandparents, well…. nuff said?  I did also have a new psychic who is quite sure I won’t bother to answer this first message. Well she got that right  so why didn’t she wait until she was sure I would answer? If she’s thinking of wearing me down with messages she doesn’t know how many times I applied the Chinese Water Torture to myself in case anyone ever wanted me as a spy. I never broke down as I have infinite patience right up to the point when I haven’t.

Most of my mail was of the normal variety. I won’t say boring as it certainly entertains me. The trouble is there’s just so much of it. I took my normal 7.00 am break in order to make myself suffer feeding the fish. We seem to have undergone a sea change today though as Big Al is following Little Al around like a lost lamb unless of course Little Al is having exams and Big Al is following him round to score him. I’ll have to wait and see if Little Al tries to stare me down. Morecambe and Wise were floating about aimlessly looking pretty and Sharkey was having fun nudging a couple of the plecs though he gets no joy from the bigger one, all he’s likely to get there is a broken nose. There was no rush on for me today as I’ve asked Yvonne if she minds me skipping my Chester trip this week. I’ll miss her of course but at least I’m guaranteed an argument free day. I’m so under the thumb. For anyone who doubts this, please read the 100% factual My Barsetshire Diary.

After feeding time for the fish it was feeding time for me. I wasn’t having breakfast, just my usual array of meds. Pills and potions galore, you don’t need a meal. I made myself a coffee and there seemed less sediment coming in the water today, mayhap they’ve sorted the problem. I took the drink  back to my room but before I restarted work I got dressed. About 10.00 am I was starting to flag. I could tell that as I’d leaned so far forward I could see under my seat. Trouble was the computer wasn’t down there. It wasn’t easy getting back up again either and I contemplated shouting the postman for help when I heard him deliver . I played that scenario out in my head first and realised the front door was still locked. If he wasn’t to break it down he’d need to come in through the lounge window. That was possible of course using he handle of his bag to pull the catch but then he’d set off all the window alarms and the police would come. They might anyway since my neighbours were bound to report a burglar. By the time they got here I’d probably have straightened up and then be charged with wasting police time.

The postie had brought me a book I’d ordered though it was a lot smaller than expected. Women tell me they have a lot of that in their lives. There were no measurements given on ebay though, but it’s still a nice book. I have one (somewhere) already which is a lot bigger ( women say they hear that a lot too) full of family history though it does need updating. Talking of books, my next email was from one of those companies that offers cashback on all purchases made through them. I signed up a long time ago but I’ve never done anything with them, I don’t know why. I also had an email from The Works who were offering free postage on a £10.00 spend and many of the prices were excellent like 5 books for £10.00 when they were £3.99 individually. When buying through this firm I was offered 21% cashback so it seemed to good a chance to miss. I still needed some stocking gifts and this was a great chance to lessen the list.

At 11.45 I ceased work and went to see about lunch. Braised beef steaks, baby boiled potatoes in herb butter and some mixed veg. It was ready in time for me to  watch my lunchtime antique programme. Halfway through I dropped my tray off in the kitchen ready to be washed and came back to watch the rest. I saw some but somehow I managed to miss the end. Instead of going through at 1.00 pm I didn’t wake until half past. I washed the pots, put the washing machine on then realised I hadn’t changed my bed and added the bedding to the current load. I’ll have to do it in the morning. The work had mounted up again and it kept me going until 4.30 pm when it was almost time for Ugo and Reuben to come. An email from Yvonne tells me she told Reuben he was seeing me tonight and he went to the door to try and get out to come then. They both missed their morning mooch around the shops this morning.

Ugo arrived and couldn’t get in as I hadn’t unlocked the door all day. Wen I opened it Ugo was on the low steps folding the trolley and Reuben was on the top step with his hand out waiting for me to old it and bring him in. That must be the last time he allowed me to old his hand. Once I got him in the lounge and removed his coat, nay, even before I’d removed his coat there were ten pairs of hands picking things up.  Ugo asked if I could cope and he’d go to pick up a meal. “Sure” I said. What an idiot. How long since I had a child this size around me. He ran me ragged until finally I picked him up and showed him the fish. I knew he wouldn’t be worried by anything Big Al could do. When Ugo got back we’d gravitated to the mirror so I could ask who was there. I put Reuben down and we moved to plate the meals up. Ugo was seeing to the sausage and chips he’d got Reuben and giving him pieces. Reuben was going from the kitchen to the lounge, depositing the food on the rug and returning for more. Ugo went through with his meal and sat with Reuben on his lap trying to feed both of them. Reuben didn’t like that and threw a paddy. As he was put down he swept everything off the table with his multitude of hands and somehow turned the TV channel over. Being told he was a naughty boy didn’t seem to have much effect. I had my sausage and chips once enough time had elapsed from taking my pre-food tablet. Reuben was still none too happy but brightened up when Ugo brought down a little toy dog that said “I wuff you, woof, woof” when pressed. A wonderful gift from delightful young author Patricia Carrigan whom I adore like a granddaughter. A little light came on where the heart would be which matched the light in Reuben’s eyes when he saw it.

They weren’t there too long after that as Reuben needed his bath before bed. No way was he going to give up the dog so I suggested he take it with him and I hope Ugo had a quiet journey . I had a quick tidy up and then came through. Except for taking my tablets I’ve been here ever since stuffing coffee creams down my face and working.It’s now 11.00 pm and time to have one last go at the mail so I can have a little read tonight.

Wednesday.

You’ll be pleased to hear today’s epistle will be short. Last night I turned the light off at one and fell asleep. I was up again at 1.35 am. Nothing could get me back to sleep there so I thought I’d try my chair in the lounge. I don’t know how long it took but I did nod off there. When I woke it was 4.51 am and it took my ages to see that because a) my neck was at a 90 degree angle, and b) the only light was from a lamp outside and I had to look at my watch as I hadn’t brought my clock through.  Guiding myself down the passage towards my bedroom with my neck at that angle wasn’t easy and I kept hitting it on doorframes etc. I rubbed it with Fiery Jack ointment to ease it and then nipped to the loo. For anyone who’s never encountered Fiery Jack before, let me tell you something I should have remembered of old. Wash your hands FIRST even though you’ll be washing them straight afterwards as usual. Also, carry tissues as the tears will be streaming down your face. Washing only makes it worse. I once had a bad back and after easing my back decided to relax in a hot bath. That’s what I should have remembered today to.

When the pain subsided a bit I was able to gingerly go back to start work. All I can say is there was plenty of it and kit kept me going until lunchtime. I had to stand up and move about a bit for comfort and for the postman’s visit where he brought some jewellery I’ve been waiting for.  After lunch I knew I was tired and allowed myself an hour though I didn’t sleep the whole time as the chemist brought round the missing bit of last week’s prescription. Very shortly after that someone came to read the meters. They’re supposed to make an appointment so Yvonne can arrange for someone to be here and the man told me he’d got data that said two appointments have been made, one today, one tomorrow. How stupid to send someone out to read the two meters on two different days. I let him in to do the gas meter on the understanding he moved any obstructions himself which was agreed by British Gas. He was happy to do so and put it back too. I had to get ladders for him to read the electric meter which is in a high cupboard outside. He was soon gone but I am cross that they didn’t make an appointment to do it. I went back to work after that until 4.30 pm and only gave up then in case Lee came early.

Dil and Matt arrived at 5.30 pm and I’d just made drinks when there was a text from Lee to say he couldn’t make it. It seems the traffic was very bad which is no surprise as it was rush hour. I enjoyed having the boys round and there was plenty of laughter, especially when Matt tapped the table for luck and a chunk fell off underneath. In Yahtzee Matt won three games, Dil two and I had just one. My bottom lip came out but no-one cared. In Nomination which most of you know is MY game, I was last. The scores weren’t a million miles apart but I lost. The bottom lip quivered, but no-one cared. In Crazy 8’s I wiped the floor with the opposition, winning comfortably. The bottom lip retracted to be replaced by the smuggest of smug grins, everyone cared and hit me. They left at 9.30 pm so I locked the door in case anyone had left a coat behind or their keys and started on the tidying up, the washing of the pots and the taking of the meds. It was about 9.45 pm when I came through and started work on the accumulated mail which I managed to finish for 12.10 am  The blog is shorter than usual so I can go to bed before I’m due to get up again.    P.S. I leaned down a moment ago and snapped the microphone off my headset so I’ll have to buy a new one this weekend.

Thursday.

I woke at 5.21 am which was quite good after last night’s late night.I was convinced I wanted to go back to sleep but it just wasn’t happening so I had to apply some of *Granny Weatherwax’s ‘Headology’ to convince myself to move. First and foremost was the promise of some breakfast a little later. I swung out of bed with such momentum I almost overbalanced. I was of course reluctant to admit that knowing some smartar*e will say how they knew I was an unbalanced individual. However I shall trust my judgement and suggest I don’t follow people capable of such slanders.

* Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg are part of Terry Pratchett’s Witches trilogy. Fantastic reading.

After logging on this morning I found myself logging off again compliments of a Windows update. Those thing can be a menace if you don’t notice the warning bar at the bottom and it closes down on you mid-sentence. This morning all was well since I noticed in time. It just delayed me. Still, I used the time to change my bed. Once back in again I started on the mail. I’m convinced I must be getting someone else’s as well by mistake. When I come across one by that devilish Sally Cronin talking about Chocolate muffins, I almost wish I was. On a ‘be nice to everyone’ day too. I swear that woman has a food fixation aimed at seeing me drown in my own saliva. You can’t tell her off though as she’s too nice.

I stopped work when I noticed it was 7.15 am. The fish would be waiting. Going through to the kitchen as fast as my legs would take me I saw the congregation massing round the front window. With spoken apologies ( in case they like the timbre of my voice) I opened the lid and put some flake in. Morecambe and Wise dashed to the surface to start eating. I put some little pellets in for everyone else and watched both Sharkey and Little Al dash for the nearest ones. I knew the grazers, the plecs would get to them eventually. Big Al just stayed where he was. I felt sorry for him in a way since he looked like the preacher where everyone had left during the service, or the General whose men have gone over to the enemy. I’d no sooner gathered those thoughts and was asking him how he was than he turned slowly , faced me and spoke. Since I don’t speak fish I have no idea what he said but I’m sure the bubbles came out blue. I told him it wasn’t my fault but he didn’t seem inclined to listen for as soon as I spoke he turned again and with a waft of his tail was gone. He didn’t go to eat but to sulk in his corner. I’ve no doubt he’ll eat when I’ve gone. You really don’t expect such language from a fish, I’m shocked.I suppose he could be talking about the deserters rather than me though?

I had my sprays and assorted tablets, made my coffee- forgetting my promise of breakfast, and returned to the desk. It doesn’t take long for the mail to accrue but in all honesty it wasn’t too bad. By 9.00 am I’d decided to take a break and venture to my chair in the lounge. I’d just got comfortable and was ready to drop off when there was a knock at the door. I came round unsure of quite where I was and also wondering why Ju wasn’t answering the door. She was very much on my mind after reading a very gentle piece by my friend Kim Gosselin about holding her mother’s hand as she passed away. Hmm, I think I have a leak, it’s raining on my face. I think the postman must have thought so too when I opened the door. “Caught you mid-wash did I?”he asked. There were two parcels, a small one for Mike and a larger one for me, that seems very fair. As I was closing the door I noticed some mail on the floor and found another smaller parcel for me too. Mine were yet another watch ordered for Christmas and two books for the same reason. Mike’s well that’s a MYOB until he opens it and shares.

Since I was awake again I went back to work and stayed there till lunchtime. I was a bit surprised at no answer from Mike after texting him about his parcel but no doubt he’s busy today. I enjoyed my lunch and after I’d washed the pots attempted to watch the rest of my programme on TV. I think someone drugged my Pepsi. It was 1.25 pm before I woke and came through and even then I think I was on auto pilot. I seemed to start a message from someone, nod off and come awake quickly to continue. Lucky it wasn’t emails or I may have written something odd. One young lady displayed a poem which she wrote as part of a threesome ( her description) and I could have had a lot of fun with that. I was tempted to ask where she kept her pen at the time but luckily a snooze took over and I was better behaved when I came to. Not that I’m into threesomes, it even used to embarrass me when the cat was watching. If staring was an Olympic sport he was a Gold Medalist.

By 4.00 pm I was clear again and went to watch a bit of the afternoon film. For a change, even though it’s Christmas it wasn’t a war film a cowboy or  a Cecil B de Mille biblical epic. Just a gentle enjoyable comedy. When it finished at 5.00 pm I had something to eat to have the second set of diabetic tabs. It was getting on for 6.00 pm when I finally had a message from Mike in response to mine of this morning. He’s looking forward to seeing his parcel when he gets here. Watch this space. Doh!! I wandered through to the bedroom and have been steadily keeping pace with incoming mail as much as possible. I fully intended to be through watching my Big Bang Theory at 8.00 pm as I didn’t want to miss another episode like I did last week. I doubted I’d stay in there after that unless there was something exceptional on though as Mike isn’t due until about midnight. I did watch my Big Bang and as usual it made me smile as I made my way back to work.  At 9.00 pm there was another text from Mike saying he was half way to me but the fog was bad so stopping for a wee and a coffee  and he’d be here about 10.30 pm. I just let him know I’d have the kettle on.

It was just coming up to 10.00 pm when I had a heart attack as Mike walked through the door. He was sniggering as he explained that as he approached Chester the fog disappeared and he made good time after that. A rough translation of that is I went somewhat faster than the law suggests. I hadn’t put the kettle on so I rushed and did it then and made him a coffee. His life hasn’t gone smoothly this week and again he has to fly over to see his Dad tomorrow and sort out the care package. It seems the carers are not doing what they’ve been contracted for. It’s not an easy thing to deal with from a distance. He invited me to go over to Manchester for lunch with the family on Sunday and his sisters are going to throw him another little party to remind him how old he is. At almost 11.00 pm I left him and came through to see to the blog and finish as much mail as I could. I must go out tomorrow for lottery tickets and cigarettes so not too late in bed I hope. A midnight deadline.

Friday.

4.51 am didn’t seem like an unusual time to get up and so I swung my legs out, donned my dressing gown and made my way to the loo turning on the computer as I passed by. By the time I cam back it seemed like having to get up at that time was a cruel and unusual punishment only I wasn’t sure what it was that I’d done wrong.  I’m no terrorist despite the fact I might put the fear of cat into the fish sometimes and I’m no thief despite the fact I might join the queue for more hugs despite having been hugged before. That’s only like trying to diddle the tax man though, a national pastime. Talking of hugs, one of my friends this week said that hugs of the virtual variety are definitely on the increase on the web thanks to my efforts. I’m thrilled at that and just think what an epitaph that could be.’He Hugged The World and The World Hugged Back.’ Who could ask for more. I know a lot of authors, bloggers and reviewers meet up so maybe the Hug aren’t always virtual. Anyhoo, I opened my mail box and was surprised Mike didn’t hear the strangled cry There were loads.

Only one stood out for me today that had been sent by a friend to inform me that Prince Ludwig von Pommern has titles for sale in Pomerania and Livonia . He sent me this as it was an area covered by us once or twice before on a website we had for frauds. There no longer exists a Pomerania nor a Livonia and nor is there a Prince Ludwig. The area was once part of Prussia but after Wilhelm II abdication became part of the Free State of Prussia until 1945 when it was gobbled up to be part of Germany and Poland. Please, find below a link to a Special and Limited Edition of 12 new Noble Titles with Ranks of Count, Marquis and Baron, featuring some of the most ancient geographical locations of Pomerania, Livonia and East Prussia.
This is a limited edition, and NO OTHER TITLES OF THIS KIND WILL BE OFFERED TILL THE END OF 2015. Just as well really as he usually has a Count of, a Marquis of, a Baron of the same place meaning the area is flooded with nobles. That doesn’t happen in real life as the titles would vary according to the size of the place and a Baron might hold a small place in the large lands of a Count to try and simplify matters. So Christmas is coming and the fakers need some pocket money again. The Prince in question is the husband of an American business woman whose previous husband also sold titles for another area though these days claim to award them to deserving people.

Other than that the post was fairly normal, just plentiful. At 7.00 pm I went through to feed the fish and found Big Al in his corner with his back to me and Little Al hovering round his tail like a supplicant. Morecambe and Wise wasted no time in finding their food and Sharkey attacked his unopposed. No words from me would make Big Al turn round let alone go for his breakfast. I gave up asking and went to take my meds. This was the last set in the box so I knew the box needed filling up before the evening. I didn’t feel like doing it just then so made my drink and took it through to the desk. It was to early to consider making one for Mike. The work seemed to be going down slowly but I still hadn’t complete up to 5.00 pm and didn’t dare refresh yet. By 8.00 am I was at that point where I did it. That was a mistake. I had to plough into it again in order to clear it. At 8.30 am Mike’s alarm went off unexpectedly. I thought he was setting it for 9.00 am. He didn’t move however so neither did I. When it went off again after 10 minutes I went and made a coffee thinking he must be ready to move but he was still in bed when I went through. Telling him there was a coffee there I returned to my emails. Another ten minutes went by before the alarm went off again and this time he got up.It was now ten to nine.

I finished the message I was writing and went through to see him. He thinks I’m pale ( but not interesting) at the moment and probably unwell. He’s offered to go to Pauline’s for me before he heads off to Manchester.That means I can be a slob and not get dressed again today. He was on his way to Manchester by 9.45 am. I’d asked him why he didn’t stay there the weekend and spend time with his sister over from Canada and he thought I was trying to get rid of him. It seems he still loves coming up here to relax and have fun at the weekend so he should be back sometime this evening. It’s a long way to go just to avoid doing my hair.

The Postman brought just one measly letter this morning which wasn’t worth getting out of my seat for. I was on my way back when there was  knock and a courier driver stood here with a package which could only be books. Great, that completes the gifts for MuJo. Having bought a replacement dressing gown last week I’m now informed the one they rescheduled for January will now be mid-December. They never responded to my request to cancel and choose an alternative which is why I bought one. So, I ( will) now have a spare. At lunch time I decided I’d better do my drugs and was halfway in when there was a knock at the door again-it’s like Picadilly Circus here today. This time it was one of  the wardens who came in and sat down. I excused myself for a minute to carry on with the tabs in my hand before I forgot where I was when maybe my state of undress startled her and she said she wouldn’t interrupt me if I was in the middle of a job. As long as things were OK she was happy. I never got chance to sit down with her and tell her how black my life is and how unhappy I am. That would have had her leaving faster than she did.Perhaps she thought the dressing gown was for her benefit rather than as a statement of ‘I really can’t be bothered’.

Having now wasted the quarter hour needed for my pre-food tab I decided to just have soup today though with some bread and butter. Mushroom soup as my choice today because looking at the pantry that was the ONLY choice. I ate as I watched Bargain Hunt and despaired of their choices and then watched them pick up profits on two of them. My defence is even the auctioneer had given them low valuations so he was surprised too. After that I washed the post, STAYED AWAKE and came back here. I struggled to stay awake and answer emails or make comments but I made it until 4.30 pm when I decided on a short break. I turned the TV on and fell asleep. It lasted just over an hour and I woke up wondering where all the antiques were. I watched the latter half of the quiz that was on and then started on Eggheads and had some tea at the same time.  The programme was just finishing as Mike came in. I put the kettle on for him then went to have a shower but Mike came through and did my hair first for me. That meant no hands over head and I was fine. After the shower w had an hour of old MASH episodes. I’d just got to my room to check on ebay when Mike shouted Mastermind was on. No way was I missing that so went back through.

At 8.30 pm I had to start work or I’d be up all night. I was really feeling rough. Sure I was going to be sick and none too sure about the other end either. I couldn’t give in to it however because there were 87 emails to deal with. They really kept me going. Once done I started on the blog before the messages had chance to pile up again. I needed an early night but wasn’t going to get my wish. In the end I had to admit defeat an packed in for bed at 11.05 pm.

Saturday.

I don’t know whether I was pricked by conscience (Mike would be quick to say Impossible) or whether there was some revenge because I jumped ship early last night but this morning it was 3.09 am. I was quite prepared to call the gods a name but realised they don’t have parents in the traditional sense anyway so it might not be an insult. I paid a quick slow visit to the loo, it’s all stops and starts these days, then came back , tried to make myself comfortable in the chair and turned the computer on. All the creases weren’t out of my bottom from last night so I tried stuffing a cushion underneath only to find my knees wouldn’t fit under the desk. I knew at that pointy I was just expected to suffer but I didn’t say anything about in silence.

Naturally most of N.America had been asked to write to me while I was asleep so my inbox was groaning at the seams. Untypically there was only one message I could see that could be tossed to the winds. A bank informing me that with regret they’ve had to suspend my account. I wouldn’t trust a bank that doesn’t know who it’s customers are so out it went. By the time 5.30 am came around I was flagging badly and needed a break. I went through to the lounge and promptly nodded off in my chair. It was almost 6.30 am before I came to. As I was closest to the kitchen at that point I fed the fish. All seemed well since the only ones I could see were Morecambe and Wise which probably meany Big Al had arranged a Union Meeting for bottom feeders. I privately cheered that I didn’t need to face him this morning and went about my business. That meant taking my morning meds and making my coffee. It was a quiet time to arrange to move things from one coat to another since it’s looking a bit grey out and I was intending to wear my duster coat if that was the case.

I boiled a kettle for 7.00 am and when I heard Mike’s alarm go off for the first time I mad his coffee and took it through. He ignored me like he had the clock but I persisted until I at least got a grunt. It was time to put the food rubbish and the recycling stuff out. Dressed in my Welsh flag lounge pants and a teeshirt I ran quickly up the path to place them at the end. I’d have looked like a rabid Nationalist of anyone had come around just then. Still, I might have been cheered for my patriotism. Back inside Mike’s alarm went off a second time. With a very deep sigh I got ready to go and remind him the drink was there. Before I could do so I gasped, he was up and moving around, after a fashion. The sound of shuffling feet and muttering followed him to the lounge. I sat down and tried to clear some more messages. Very soon though I needed to get dressed and then went through to see how Mike was getting on. “OK, OK, King of subtle, I’m going” he said leaving me confused at what he meant though I was glad to see him heading in the direction of his clothes, some of which I was holding in my hands.

While he dressed I attempted three or four new messages but he was ready quite quickly and stood in my doorway singing “Why are we waiting.” Just as well it wasn’t ‘Who ate all the pies’ as I was feeling pretty low about the size of my stomach which in turn was hanging pretty low now.  When I’d gone out with the rubbish it had been damp and dismal so the duster coat and a waxed hat seemed a good idea. With the coat flapping round my ankles I felt the bees’s knees. We were supposed to be going to Rhyl this morning so I was a bit surprised Mike turned the wrong way. He tells me he changed his mind and decided to go after the shopping but I’m pretty sure he just forgot. We didn’t do too badly and were at the supermarket for 8.15 am. As usual I hit the cash machine, these big sledgehammers really work. Mike worked his way through the trollies till he found a freebie. Then we were ready for battle. Inside the doors 8 cans of pop on a special offer, potatoes, flowers for Ju then a wander to look at the sale clothing for youngsters. I did say Mikes’ only 3’6″ didn’t I? Ouch, Ouch, 5’6″ then, we all make mistakes.

The gents section saw some jeans reduced from £15 to £4 for Mike and a cardigan I quite liked at £16 to £8 which a member of staff reduced to £4 as we stood there, no way was I turning that down. Pity it’s not my size really. Then we actually moved along and bought some food. Not much as who can afford food these days, but the bread was cheap so I might have bread sandwiches next week. By the time we’d done it was time for a coffee, the only good thing to come out of MacDonalds for me. Then it was time to head for Flint. A couple of items in Home Bargains (Loo Bloo only purple) then across to see Ceri and the crown with their sweets. Another coffee for me and the usual for Mike with a drink. A swift visit to the frozen food shop for pizzas and it was off home. I was the poor slob who had to put the frozen food away again. I had my final book from the postman waiting which we both glanced at as I was explaining how a good family record book can help with the tree. Then at midday it was time to head off again. I got outside and had to put dark glasses on. Dressed in my duster ( no hat) I looked a right lemon. Dressed for Winter in the middle of Summer

This time he turned in the right direction and we headed off towards Rhyl. There was some discussion about stopping ion the way to eat or perhaps to stop and find somewhere in Rhyl. My common sense version won the day “Stop or die” so for some reason Mike kindly pulled up at the Bells of St Mary’s where I’d been on Monday with MuJo. We both had an excellent roast dinner before carrying on the journey. When we arrived in Rhyl I directed Mike to go round the roundabout, past the end of the High Street and then to take the third road on the left. Turning right meant a soaking as we were on the seafront at the time. He took the third left just as I realise I might possible have miscounted. “Not this third left Mike, the next one” I cried but too late, he took it. Luckily for me it had a right hand turn which took us to the road we wanted which I said I’d known all the time. We managed to find a parking place quite close to the aquarium. I was still wearing the duster and Mike put his jacket on and we walked into a sauna.All the humidity from all the tanks and we were wrapped like mummies. The sweat was dripping off us. Mike was here to find out about some lamps he wanted for his tank at home. Is that what he asked about? No, way, we had to explore the contents of about 100 tanks first fish by fish. All the time boiling away before he finally asked about the lights which they didn’t even stock. I had to be dragged away screaming as I fancied a couple of beautiful synodontis and some more assassin snails.

Synodontis catfish

We were finally on our way homes again and I had no fish or snails. All I had was panic at being out so long ( over 8 hours) and not having finished the morning’s post before I left. We got in about 4.30 and after setting up the i*on and i*oning board for Mike I came through to work.216 messages which included the unfinished from this morning, Oh joy. Mike left me to it until after his football  than came to get me at 7.00 pm to watch a programme with him. We like quizzes. I did us something to eat while we watched so he doesn’t report me for neglect.I was allowed back at 8.30 pm but a little later he came through to tell me of a film he’s found to watch. I agreed to join him soon but it was 10.00 pm before I made it. It was a good film and kept me there till 11.15 pm when it ended.  Thereafter it was time to abandon the mail so I could do the blog post. I am after all at your service.

Sorry Mummy, didn’t mean to trump!

I wish you all a wonderful new week and send you loads of Hugs. xxx

 

 

Pebbledash Sneeze & UnChristmas Coat

Sunday 9th November 2014

I managed to wake at 1.45 am and had a brief but fruitful conversation with young Somnos. My side of the conversation was very succinct and consisted of two words the second of which was OFF! after which I got back into bed. My second encounter with the morning was at 4.03 am and I decided not to to argue that one in case a ridiculous revenge was visited upon me like making me get up after Mike and miss my lunch. Anyway, I knew I’ have enough to keep me occupied until he did get up. I went on a bladder excavation and then started on the mail. I was working very well and the level was going down when I opened one entitled My New Friend. The woman named herself and left me in no doubt as to what she’s do if I would like to respond to her. I’m basically very shy, it threw out of my head the beautiful ( and unfortunately unbelievable ) dream of last night  and left me declaring I would henceforth be halibut, you know, that’s when priests declare they’re giving up sex but it all seems a bit fishy. That message had to go ‘toot sweet’ ( yes Missus, I do know how to spell it really).

Since there was no chance Michael would be up early since he’d been still watching TV during my altercation with Somnos I went through to the kitchen at 7.00 am to take care of things in there. When the kitchen light went on I could see some movement in the tank but wasn’t sure who it was until the tank light was turned on. It was the plecs and they appeared to be playing tag with each other. One would dash up, touch another who would then fly off leaving the first one settled in place. I don’t know whether Big Al had witnessed and been wearied by this but he was in his corner just casting baleful looks in my direction it was as though he was reminding me who’s fault all this was. Not all change is good those piggy eyes said. Little Al was running rings round Sharkey who was out this morning and didn’t seem inclined to hide. Either that ot Little Al was stopping him from doing so. I like to think that maybe he’s realised I’m not a threat. Anyway, he’s no angel ( since they’re much bigger) as I’ve seen him darting in and pushing the plecs off the glass before now. Throughout this the two Siamese fighters just strutted their stuff and looked glamorous, a little like Those Spanish ladies in costume who play the castanets. Flamingoes.

Having decided there was no malice aforethought and it was just some form of playtime I left them to their own devices. Time to make my morning drug deal- I’ll take you as long as you don’t make me throw up, then a coffee which naturally you know I took back to the bedroom. It was almost 8.00 am now and getting much lighter though you wouldn’t be able top tell from my room as the curtains haven’t been opened since the Boer War I don’t think. If I lean to the right from my office chair I can see he light coming through the front door. Time to start shutting it at night maybe? If I lean further to the right I fall out of the chair.                                        There were some nice comments waiting about last night’s blog. Cheques in the post today girls. You might get them for Christmas though I’m not sure which year. I apologise up front that because of my pecuniary position I had to post-date them to 2025. I was doing really well with the post and almost up to date, although I hadn’t refreshed, when Mike appeared at 9.45 am. I made him a drink and came back to finish off quickly and to check a couple of items on ebay. ( Watches, me? Whatever makes you think that?). I let the machine sleep and went through to join Mike  who hadn’t gone to sleep until 3.30 am he told me.

We’d been talking a while when Mike asked if I’d like to take a trip to Rhyl to find something, then call in at a shop in Prestatyn for some sweets I wanted before going for lunch. I jumped at the chance as I wanted the something for Tuesday when I was seeing Yvonne. We both went to get dressed and I was glad I’d decided last night what I would wear today. Mike having much smaller clothes was quicker than me! It was about 11.00 am when we left and about 11.40 am when we arrived in Rhyl. In less than half an hour I’d got what I wanted , paid bail and gone back and paid for the object and we were on our way to Prestatyn.  By 1.00 pm we’d been round the shop there and made sure I’d remembered to pay for the sweets and were off to lunch. Naturally I hadn’t brought sweets out for the Ivy so had bought some in the same shop. It wasn’t far to go and we were there a few minutes later.  Tariq was serving someone so I placed the sweets on the counter and went to our table to get my coat off. As soon as the customer moved away Tariq started on our drinks. Angie said hello as she came through carrying some meals. Tariq brought the drinks and had a hug. Angie asked if we’d decided and I was able to say we had and we were both having the hotpot. I took my pre-meal tablet and waited.

It was only fifteen minutes before two piping hot bowls of hotpot arrived with some pickled beetroots and some pieces of bread. The only thing missing was a beautiful thick suet crust, still that would have been spoiling us, or me anyway since Mike’s never had it. Even the potatoes are done a different way in his part of Manchester. It was wonderful and clung to my ribs. I was almost tempted to ask for a bowl to take home for lunch tomorrow. We left and were home by 2.15 pm when Mike had to set off to his Dad’s. That left me to come through and start work again. I was tired. A combination of being up early and the wonderful lunch so I didn’t get as much work done as I wanted. At 5.30 pm I gave up and went through to the lounge for a while. I had some toast for my tea then allowed my eyes to close. It was 7.50 pm before they opened again. Ready to go into battle I came back through and started. It was really slow so I closed it and re-opened it. Oops, that was a big mistake. Nothing came through. It’s been very frustrating trying to deal with it through my other account again.

At 9.30 pm I almost died. I’d just put my tablets in my mouth when I suddenly wanted to sneeze. On the indrawn breath it drew in some tablets which decided to lodge there. When the sneeze finally came before I choked to death, I pebbledashed the kitchen wall. There was a foul taste from half melted tablets in my mouth and I had to go and start all over again. Since then I’ve been trying to get on top of the mail before the next batch of mail comes through. It’s going to be a late one.

The wonder of Fireworks.

Monday.

I think young Somnos must have been out last night tying fireworks to donkey’s tails with his equally obnoxious pals since I slept until 5.06 am this morning. The need to remove some water from behind the dam before it burst was paramount but it seemed a fair exchange for an unbroken sleep.I started work on the mail. There wasn’t much I’d missed last night but there was plenty from the early hours where my friends in the American Colonies keep such strange hours. King George really needs to speak to the Governors about that, perhaps reduce the amount of candlepower allowed to restrict these emails sent out. I’m sure the dark confuses the pigeons anyway.

At 6.30 am I went through to see to the fish and to have some breakfast. I wanted to allow myself plenty of time to get dressed before Pauline comes otherwise she may think me a rake remaining in my dressing gown at that time of the day. Today it was Sharkey who was being annoying chasing the plecs and Morecambe and Wise away from his imagined feeding grounds. Big Al and Little Al were relaxing quietly in a corner next to one another. I was glad of that, anything to be away from his scrutiny. I dropped some food in and scooted before the feeding frenzy started. First job, take a pre-meal tablet, them sprays followed by the rest of my morning tabs. Then, using a cigarette as a timer wait until it’s time to put the toast in. I call it toast but in reality it’s more like doorsteps today and  I had to force the jaws f the toaster further apart to accommodate it. When it came out beautifully golden brown I slathered it with butter and ate it hot. Then it was time to try and swallow the two torpedoes I take after my meals. I managed it eventually. Mike thinks it’s hilarious how long I have to swill them round in my mouth before I can swallow. He watches both to see if I can create a new record over 18 seconds.

I took the rest of my coffee back to the bedroom and just did a few more messages before I realised it was 8.10 am so I had to fly to get ready. Cricketing slacks and a nice brown shirt Pauline had ironed last week ( to show her the work wasn’t wasted ) then a cardigan. I just fitted a very studious expression before she arrived at 8.30 am. She asked if I’d like her to finish the ironing from last week to which I replied “That would be nice” knowing there was no chance or even less. I think she may have stayed there for an hour or so before I heard her start polishing and then hoovering in the lounge. She left at 10.20 am and I  found four shirts, 3 pairs of pyjama trousers and 2 teeshirts. On a different teeshirt the picture was disintegrating so she gave up, but a fair bit was left on the ironing board. Some of that was transferred to the front of my shirt ,I found. Oh well, nothing broken. I’d stayed in the bedroom while she worked so only saw her as she came and went really. I’m less comfortable with her than I was with my dream woman of Saturday night. I worked until 11.30 am and then went in search of my lunch. It was while I was watching my antiques show that I noticed my repeat prescription request on the table and knew I’d have to go out today after all.

As soon as the show was over and I’d washed the pots I got my shoes and coat on and took a walk to the chemist. There’s a little slot in the counter for requests so I don’t normally have to talk to anyone but today one of the girls called to ask me how I was. I’ve known them so long I don’t usually have a problem but today I was afraid he subject might come up of the note on the bottom of my scrip about making a new appointment for the chest clinic and also one for a review with the doctor. Luckily it didn’t come up and I got away with just a few stutters. Back at home about 1.20 pm I started work again and calmed down. Before I knew it I was waking up with a real neck ache to find it was 3.35 pm and I knew I’d better get a move on. The trouble was, the mail had kept coming while I slept and was now a full sack. A vanncame and delivered a parcel for Mike which must be the watches he’d won that were coming from Mumbai. Well behaved I left it intact on his bed. Back to work I was flying through them till I came across one titled from Mrs Sekina Oka. I suspect the brain should have given it away but the bad neck was blocking signals.

Dear Friend,

Greetings to you and your family.

My name is Mrs Sekina Oka, the current Chief Auditor of a formidable bank here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, West Africa. I have a transaction worth of 12.5 Million U.S dollars for transferring into your care for our mutual benefits, so  i need your assistance with 100% cooperation to realise this task. 

Further details about the fund, its source and the administrative procedure to transfer this fund into your receiving bank account shall be made known to you immediately as I have your positive response.

Thanks and Regards,

Mrs Sekina Oka.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The first thing I note is that they’re no longer giving the name of a Bank they work for. Second is that there is no telephone number anymore to ring and confirm the person’s identity. Maybe they finally understand that we’re not likely to be accepting confirmation of ID via a mobile phone. Though maybe they got confussed doing that with the number of identities they have. Either the same idiots are contacting me time after time in the hopes of wearing me down or it’s as I said that everyone there is a crook. The only other alternative is they have banks as every other building, have the most rich accounts in the world which will upset Geneva and they have very bad luck with their customer’s  health.

Amazingly at 4.25 pm I was doing quite well and only left a dozen or so as I went through to watch TV. First of all I just put the washing machine on. I had antiques until 6.00 pm then Eggheads. I put the washing on to dry and then went back to work. As usual I had both accounts open as some people write to me in one account only an in my main account, some messages aren’t shared. So,  I’d be pleased and think I was getting to the end of my main account only to find mail in the secondary and vice versa. I seemed to be almost keeping pace but not quite. At 9.00 pm I went through to empty the drier and to fold the items that were now dry. A bag of quavers called to me with a very sultry voice and my knees just went weak. I had to indulge, and very tasty they were too.

The forecast for tomorrow is awful so I sent Yvonne a text to see what she wanted to do. She said it would be OK if I wanted to give it a miss almost as though she knew that I’m taking a new coat through and the camera which we’ll argue about. I think I just need to wear a good coat but maybe go round to the house rather than meet them for shopping. We’ll see what it’s like in the morning. I think I’ve done as much as I want to for tonight so I’ll just finish here, have one last go at the mail and wish you all Good Night.

Tuesday.

With approximately 4 hours sleep under my belt, not that I wear one to bed, I jerked awake at 5.03 am today. I was annoyed as I felt there had been a pleasant dream of some sort last night but couldn’t bring anything to mind. I’m sure it was nothing as spectacular as Saturday night’s dream but in 60 plus years I’m sure there hasn’t been one like that before. It occurs to me as I go to relieve myself that I’m not usually aware of dreaming though the experts tell us we all dream. I hear all the talk about REM and though I like Everybody Hurts, I’m not sure why they’re the subject of scientific studies.

As usual I settled down to work on my mail and immediately found that the silly season is open again. One mail from Jacob ‘Jack’ Lew at the U.S. Dept of the Treasury tells me I’ve been awarded $500,000.00 as compensation annually given out to victims of scams. Considering I’m not a U.S. citizen and have never been caught by a scam I think that’s remarkably generous. Of course I have to pay something for a receipt and also have to provide my bank details…………Dream On.     There were 5, yes FIVE, different messages about the benefits of working from home and the vast amounts of money to be made for working approx 3 seconds a day , 2 days a year up to one day a week for ten years and never again. At that time I’d be living on my yacht.                                                                                                                          The day wouldn’t be complete without an auditor in a bank in ‘guess where’ writing to inform me that my name is the same as that of a deceased and family-less customer of the bank who was a prudent soul saving for a rainy day. Well it poured and he drowned. Would I like 40% of £18,000,000.00 for pretending to be him. Actually, I’d like the 60% since I’m the one technically committing fraud. The rest of my post was normal and so pleasant to deal with.

Since I was going out this morning it was easier to go through to the kitchen at 6.00 am . The fish came first naturally and all seemed quiet though Big Al was in the front corner where I was with his face pushed up to the glass like he was listening to me. The least I could do was mutter a few endearments and hope my voice was soothing enough to ensure him of my future service friendship. Today of all days peace should reign. I fed them and turned to take my tabs. I decided to have breakfast this morning to hold me in case we didn’t go for lunch. It was only a slice of toast but since it was about 3″ thick it should hold me. Time then to get dressed. The forecast for here was cloudy all day and for Chester light showers so I could wear my black leather jacket to go out and be smart beneath it. That sorted I returned to the mail.As 7.25 am came round I was only a dozen or so away from completion so didn’t feel too bad about leaving them. Picking up my bag with Yvonne’s gifts I left the house and started walking through the wet, knee high clouds towards the bus stop. Just over half way there the bus pulled up next to me to save me the rest of the walk. I appreciated that.

I did a fair bit of nodding off on the bus and the pot holes made sure I did a fair bit of waking up again too. Eventually though we pulled into Chester at 8.45 am and I could see Yvonne waiting for me. She was trying to direct Reuben’s attention towards me but he didn’t actually notice me until I got quite close. I was chuffed to see a huge smile split his face and his arm came up and pointed. The shop wasn’t open yet where we go for a drink so we took a walk round the new Pound World shop that’s opened. I was amazed recently to find them selling a tablet called Disprin Direct which up until now I’ve only been able to get from a chemist and at a lot more than £1 too. I value them as a top up painkiller but also because they are chewable it’s easy to keep some in a pocket in case of headaches and there being no water available. They actually taste nice as well. By the time I’d got what I wanted ( and Yvonne even more, sorry Ugo ) the shop we wanted was open so we headed there and ordered drinks. I go Reuben out of his pushchair and sat him with me until Yvonne had some jam on toast for him.

Breakfast done and mess cleaned up, I handed Yvonne the bag.”What’s this” she asked.  “You told me I couldn’t buy you a coat for Christmas so this is an unChristmas present. The video camera is your unbirthday present. You now can’t complain I’ve gone against what you said” I replied.  “It looks lovely, but maybe you can give me a coat for Christmas after all then” she tried.  “Wonderful, I’ll look for one as I go downstairs” was my retort. ” I meant this one” she cried. She hasn’t lived long enough to bandy words with me! We did have a look round the store which is quite big but I didn’t get anything there. We did a few more shops each time adding shopping to the handle of the pushchair so if she let go Reuben would be catapulted out. We’d just gone into the supermarket for bread when 11.00 am arrived. The whole shop went into a hush apart from one child who was singing at the top of her voice and Reuben who was chunnering and blowing raspberries for Britain. Makes you wonder where to put your face. Well, Yvonne’s face actually as I beat a hasty retreat and didn’t know them until the silence was over. I do find the memory of all those who gave their lives in order that mine should be so much easier is very emotional. I really don’t understand why mankind as inventive as it is hasn’t found a way to ensure a peace yet. Why are we so good at creating weaponry?

The light showers in Chester seemed to be rather heavy like someone left the tap on. With so much shopping and with getting wet, I suggested Yvonne take Reuben home early so she has plenty of time to prepare for work. We hugged and separated about 12.30 pm and I wound my way towards the bus stop (via the loo). I walked through the market precinct and saw one of my favourite shops had opened there and a very interesting looking one looked set to open anytime. I’ll be heading there next week. From the loo to the bus stop. I had time for a ciggie before it arrived. I was back in Greenfield at 2.00 pm and had just unpacked he bread when Bert knocked with a parcel for me. Something I’ve been looking forward to seeing. Looks pretty good too though I need to get something straightened. For lunch I had some soup with crusty bread and butter before starting work. Oh horror, 181 messages between the two sites. I worked till 4.25 pm then watched my antique show, I must remind myself I’m vintage not antique. Back here at 5.15 pm until 6.00 pm then again at 6.30 pm. That’s my viewing for the day. By 9.45 one batch was clear though more was coming in all the time. I’m going to have to find a way to thin things out a bit. At 10.30 pm I stopped to do this and will resume shortly at 11.15 pm. Wish me luck.

Playing lip tunes, he’s much better than me.                                                                                   That was fun Pops.

Wednesday.

3.41 am today. I think it’s worth repeating in case you didn’t read it the first time. 3.41 am. I hadn’t got to bed until 3.42 am and yet I felt fresh (ish) and was almost raring to go. To the loo that is, at this rate I’ll be going for a wee before I even feel the urge soon. I slipped my dressing gown on and sat at my desk, turned it on

( with a smile) and waited for the mail to appear. In the minus one minute of sleep I had none of you had stopped writing but at first glance there were no nutters there at least. There was a nice steady flow or more normal than usual mail to keep me going. By 6.00 am I was approaching equilibrium though I hadn’t refreshed the screen and I hadn’t ventured into my second account either. Since the boy are due tonight for games I decided my two meals today would be breakfast and lunch and breakfast had better take place NOW!

I went through to the kitchen and found the light wouldn’t work. I was worried about the tank too as I couldn’t hear the pump. Checking the lounge the light were off there too. It had to be a circuit so I grabbed my stepladders, opened the front door and went out to the electrical cupboard. Then I came back in for a torch and went out again. It didn’t take long to find the culprit that had slipped. I put it on again and went back in. The lights worked again as I proved by having Blackpool Illuminations indoors. More importantly the pump in the tank was now working, not that the fish seemed at all bothered when I turned the tank light on. I did find out that Sharkey, small as he is, is a bully though as I watched him nipping at the tails of anyone who crossed his path. Even Big Al and his enforcers weren’t that bad. I fed them and left them to it after a good telling off for Sharkey of course.

I took  my meds and slipped some crusty bread in the toaster. Despite the toaster spitting it out charred at the edges and rather pale but interesting in the centre it was rather nice. I had to go for a wash then as my moustache was dripping butter. My coffee accompanied me to the desk where I refreshed the screen (ouch) and opened my gmail account. It took me until 9.15 am to get clear after which I got dressed and took a walk to Pauline’s for some bread, a card, a magazine and some white sticks in packets. I came home in time for the postman to drop a letter from Virgin off telling me I’ve earned £30 off my next phone and a catalogue with 80% off the goods.I sat and had a read for half an hour without my eyes ever leaving the front cover. Then I woke up, refreshed the mail and started work again. I was clear enough by 11.45 am to go make a start on lunch. A small beef joint, mashed spud and mixed veg today. As usual I watched my usual lunchtime programme then heard a noise and found the window cleaners were here. Today I waited for someone to knock to collect the money.  I’d just settled down when there was another knock. It was my dealer, he handed the drugs over which I turned an placed on the console table until I’d signed for them. I took the pen and was just starting to remember my name when the drugs took a flying leap off the table and deposited themselves outside the bag all over the hall floor. I signed, thanked him and with a huge sigh turned round to start the clear up.  No packets had opened at least.

Job done I came back to the computer and then thinking about a parcel I knew was coming separately, I thought I’d have a look on screen to see if it had been posted. I was quite cross to see there was a note to say they were waiting for the manufacturer to get new stocks of material in January. Not much good for a Christmas present so I emailed them to see if I can cancel it and choose another one. My second choice does say In Stock, though I’m fairly sure the first choice said that too. No answer so far. I worked until 4.30 pm then went to watch the third day of my  Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is challenge. The experts had to buy from a car boot fair this time. One of the two is generating huge profits which will be going to charity. Once it was over at 5.15 pm there was no point in going back to work as my brother and nephew could arrive at any time.  I left a quiz on so I could hear it if I was in the kitchen. I saw them approach at 5.30 pm so I started making their drinks as they came in and settled to answer a few quiz questions. As soon as the quiz was over we set to putting the table up and getting the Yahtzee out. TV went off to remove the distractions . It was another night of honours even, each winning two games though I suspect Dil might have won overall if we’d accumulated the scores. The ratbag had 3 Yahtzees in one game.

Nomination Whist came next and after the first couple of hands where I didn’t get a look in everything went my way and I finished on 197 whilst the nearest to me wasn’t even on 150. It was no time to get complacent though as we finished on Crazy 8’s and obviously there was some vengeance to be had, and how it was had. On the first hand I finished with just 12 points. On the second hand I was made to pick up 16 cards by these devils incarnate as Dil played his last card. The third hand I was beginning to wonder how many 7’s were in the pack as I constantly seemed to be picking up 2 cards and my final score took me to something like 170. We only got to play the last hand because their play was so vicious as you could tell by the sniggers that yet again at the end my score was in excess of 100 taking me well over the 300 limit. Dil was going home victorious. Dil suggested Matt didn’t complain or he’d be dropped at the bus stop with just half the fare, and it’s a very long walk. It was 9.30 pm and time for them to go. There had as always been a lot of laughter for me during the evening. Once I’d closed the door behind them I tidied up and came through to work on the mail. There was plenty of it. It’s now 11.30 pm and I need to go back to finish a few more.

Pops gets a kiss.                                                                                                                                          Happy little foodster.

Thursday.

I’m not 100% sure what time I woke up but I do know I lay there trying to get back to sleep for a while. I admitted defeat and swung my legs out of bed at 3.30 am on the dot. The only reason I skipped to the loo was because it was cold so I was glad I’d put my dressing gown on. First job, turn the heating up. I started on my mail and by 6.30 am I’d done everything up to the 3.30 am  mark and by 7.30 am ( sorry fish) had managed up to the 6.30 am mark.At this rate by 8.30 am I’d be in credit and could take the day off. At 7.30 am I did the fish tank and found Big Al’s looks of anger seemed to have turned to looks of pleading and maybe even some acceptance so maybe Little Al has worn him down for me. I’m not sure what to do about Sharkey though except maybe rename him Nipper. Luckily he doesn’t seem to be doing any damage. More bark than bite I hope.

I saw to my meds and decided I didn’t want breakfast. Instead of going back through to my room straight away I sat in the lounge for a while just watching it get lighter. I wanted to get lighter with it but it wasn’t working today. I had the grumps. Eventually I went back through. Before starting the mail again I got dressed partly hoping I’d be warmer and partly because I knew I’d have to go out to the post box at some stage. Once ready I could address the mail again ( not that it needed addressing as it had already arrived). I was puzzled. Yesterday I’d had a new follower and as usual I’d gone to check the followers blog and found it to be far to religious for my tastes. This morning I had some new followers too and I found that two of those were also what I’d call ultra-religious in that it seemed to be the only subject on their blogs. Does someone feel I need saving and has set their watchdogs on me? I wrote to one to apologise for not following back and explaining why, which led to me thinking that maybe if I explain my reasons for not following back in an open message, maybe some people wouldn’t feel the need to follow me. I have had a tendency to follow back those people who follow me with very few exceptions. I don’t care for blogs with excessive bad language, too much religion, sado-masochism. bondage and too much descriptive sex ( the latter makes my knees quiver). We all have our personal choices. I’m no saint by any means but I prefer to let my imagination work for me and with language there’s no need to substitute the beauty of English with the same ‘effin’ words all the time. By the time I’d written the post it was time to go out.

After the post box I called in at Pauline’s for my lottery tickets. I specifically requested she sell me the winner and she agreed. I also bought a large Thornton’s chocolate reindeer and a quickie bing meal for lunchtime. Coming home I found the postman had left me a new gift catalogue but I’m not going to tempt myself by opening it. I set back to work on the mail again. Lots of responses to my new post and I was (am) so grateful that it’s all been supportive of my choice or at least of my right to choose. There were even a couple of ‘likes’ from unlikely quarters. By lunch time I was up to date and managed to skive off for an hour without nodding off. I spent a little time on ebay in the afternoon and promptly nodded off over the keyboard so I had a real pain in the neck when I woke. I worked till 4.30 pm then watched my shows and returned here at 6.30 pm. I made a mental note to watch a programme on the Holy Grail at 8.00 pm if my mailbox allowed. It did, as I managed to catch up just in time. It was a very interesting programme with the consensus of opinion that the most likely candidate was in Seville in Spain. One piece that fascinated me though was about a family that claimed descent in the 19thC from the one who brought a grail of Mary Magdalene over here. It had been used to collect the blood of Jesus on the cross. It seemed with no heirs the last owner had created a book of clues as to it”s whereabouts. It referred to a red castle which existed, a high rock which also existed and upon the rock an arch which also existed. Then you were supposed to get beneath the arch and under it which seemed unlikely. However a way was found and there was a Roman copper mine under the hill with a chamber below the arch. In the chamber , the stone figure of an eagle minus the head. The story goes someone decided to have the statue in their garden and as they tried to winch it the head came off. Inside was a small egg cup looking object. No-one thought anything of it. In the local church endowed by this last guardian were four stained glass windows one of which depicted Mary Magalene and above her head was the picture of an eagle. The man who had followed the clues took the TV presenter ( and us) on his journey and also showed us the ‘egg cup’ which he had from the family of the man who discovered it. It’s green alabaster and has been proved to date from the time of Jesus and is a scent bottle minus it’s lid. Just as a little aside they showed a similar green pot on the table in Da Vinci’s The Last Supper. Incidentally, despite me not being religious, I”m not about to deny the history of the people actually existing. And, knowing how the Jews would have expected Jesus to marry before he was 30 I’ve often wondered how important Mary Magdalene’s role was.   Here endeth the lesson.

Back to work after my interlude and I’m trying to catch up.Mike is due about 11.00 pm….typical, he just arrived, as he’s going to see his Dad tomorrow . He’s got a chest infection and doesn’t want to see the doctor. Mike will have a job on his hands. I must go and see to a drink for him, excuse me.

Friday.

Up at 5.39. Felt low, worked on emails. No rubbish encountered.

Fed fish at 7.00 am, I was not attacked. Did drugs for week then took coffee through and carried on working.

Got Mike up at 9.00 am to get ready to go to father’s. He left at 10.00 am. Postman delivered small package.

Couldn’t be bothered getting dressed so just carried on working until 12.10 pm. Watched antiques show and stayed awake.

Returned to work at 1.00 pm and stayed until 4.00 pm when I went through and fell asleep in my chair. Still managed to see my programmes.

6.30 pm took a shower, fish no longer holding their noses.

Worked until 8.00 pm then watched Mastermind.

Returned to work at 8.30 pm but stopped when Mike returned at 9.30 pm so I could catch up on his news. Poor lad’s had a baddish day so I made him a coffee and we chatted and also found ourselves making some changes to his family tree. No, it’s not his secret children suddenly appearing it’d additions of names to great grandparents. It was 11.00 pm before I got back to work but I did catch up in the end and here we are almost ready for bed. Well I am, he’s back on the watches on Ebay I think.

Saturday.

4.54 am and I woke up stiff ( settle down you lot at the back there) It was because my head was hanging out of bed as though I were waiting to catch raindrops in my mouth, and my mouth was wide enough that I’d have caught a lot. There are times I’m glad I sleep alone as I must have looked a right sight. Righting myself I got up and went to the bathroom. It wasn’t too warm this morning and I shivered. I’ll have to alter the time on the heating again and turn it up to 20 degrees.

I managed to finish so much mail last night there was no pressure this morning which was just as well ‘cos I’m not sure I was fully compost mental. So by the time 6.30 approached I was able to get dressed and then go through to see to the fish. As I turned the light on Big Al came to a position halfway up the tank and just floated in place scowling at me. I promise I’ve done nothing wrong, well, at least not since the last time I’m sure and that was intended to be kind and give him company. All the others got on with doing what they do best, swimming and looking very decorative or cleaning the bottom of the tank of algae for me. I put a little food in and left them to it trying my best to ignore Big Al. I think he’s just a grumpy old man. I put some water in the kettle and in my coffee machine then took my meds. I turned the kettle on and then went round emptying bins ready to take all the bins and bags out for emptying.As I came back to the kitchen the kettle clicked off and I hear Mike’s alarm start to go.

I also heard another sound. At first I thought the air pump in the tank was working overtime and about to fail but then I realised the sound was coming from inside the washing machine. This puzzled me as the machine was off. Anyway, I took Mike’s coffee through as he turned the alarm off (finally). As I told him the drink was there I got a grunt in return so I came away and brought my drink through to the bedroom to do a little more work. First I took the recycling bags to the front path. I had turned round to come back when Bert opened a window to ask if my water was off. It clicked with me that the mystery sound had been the water draining. I made sure Bert had enough for his needs and came back in. As I did so I almost keeled over in shock. A wraith was haunting the lounge, it looked faintly like Mike but come on be serious, it’s only 7.10 am and I haven’t been through to remind him yet. By heavens, IT IS Mike, who’d believe it? What’s more, he got dressed ultra quickly and we were out of the house by 7.30 am. Not for my benefit I hasten to add, but so he was able to use the loo in the Supermarket and have hot water on tap

( or, to hand, whichever makes you groan the most).

When we arrived, Mike lit two cigarettes as he still has the policy of not smoking in the car though he is weakening. He went to get a trolley while I went to the cash machine. As I was drawing the cash Mike was waving a thumbs up gesture from the trolley park. I called “The man from Del Barclay, he say yes” so he’d know we wouldn’t be on tinned beans again. We finished the ciggies and went in at which point Mike departed for the loo and left me to get my potatoes and Ju’s flowers before catching me up on the clothes aisle where there was a sale on. I managed to find a couple of excellent gifts. Finished Christmas shopping? Yes, I know I said I had done but you know how it is, there’s always something else you see. We thought we were whizzing round the store but after the coffee we found ourselves no earlier than usual despite the early start. And, as I was leaving the stoe I saw some great clothes for Reuben so………

We started heading for Flint when we were coming towards an Aldi. Mike asked If I wanted to go in but before I’d properly formed an answer we were past it. He went up a side road and doubled back on himself coming out close by and shot across the road. Would you believe it, a Sale and there I found a couple extra gifts. Oh, you thought I’d finished now for sure. Well, I’m sure I’m close. We went into he retail park and visited our favourite shops then went for a coffee. Ceri had a big smile for us and Kyle just started doing the drinks as usual and asked if we wanted teasted toecakes. Silly question. Mike had a laugh with Ceri until it got too busy then we left for home to unpack the bags.

I spent some time catching up on mail once the shopping was stored. The water was back on but filthy and we’d seen Dwr Cymru (Welsh Water) working on the road as we’d come home so I’m guessing a burst main. I found myself struggling a bit with this batch of mail and the next thing I new it was 1.15 pm and despite the teasted toecake I was hungry. I put a jar of Quality Street in my pocket and we set off for the Ivy. As we pulled into the car park who should pull in behind us but Tariq who’d been home for some tools to stick some new bars up at the window. He assured us it was to keep burglars out and not customers in. We let him get back to work and went in to say hello to everyone. Well, we would have done had anyone been there. Mike did a heavy handed rendition of tubular bells of the little counter bell, designed to have Angie steaming. She came through from the kitchens, saw who it was and tutted as if to say she expected no better.

Angie started making our drinks and asked if we knew what we were eating. By this time we’d both seen the menu, I wasn’t going to have bacon for a change  (Shock, Horror) and the Hotpot from last weekend was no longer on the men so someone had been round with a damp cloth. We both decided on gammon steaks with all the trimmings and believe me when they came they were sublime. Tariq came in and sat with us for a while. He’s not well and it’s quite worrying. A condition he’s had since young that no-one seems able to diagnose or treat. Mike and I both feel sorry for him as he’s just so active and hates sitting still. After a while we left and headed home to give me chance to get on with the messages if I want a break tonight. Mike thinks I’m ill because I turned down the chance to go to more shops in Prestatyn. I”m really glad I did come home though as I started work at about 2.30 pm and there were well over 100 messages in the box. Buggalugs would normally have been calling for me to go through to give him company before 6.00 pm but football was on and I didn’t hear a peep. I caught up and went through just before 7.00 pm when the football was over and they’re about to pontificate about what did and didn’t happen for the next 6 hours and turned over for some entertainment. I stayed there until 9.00 pm and listened to Mike moan “You usually stay until 10.00 pm” ( I don’t ) as I left the room. I started back in on the maim to a barrage of interruptions from Mike who was popping through and speaking to me in a French accent to entertain/annoy me until he finally came through with my nitro spray and made me take a dose for the pain. It didn’t make him go away though. He remained with me for a ehile, sitting on thenedge of my bed until he was sure I was OK and wasn’t going to agree to go to bed.”My public awaits me” I told him. I don’t know the definition of some of the words he used, though he does understand how close I’ve become to some of you.

Eventually he went back to his TV and let me get on so that I could eventually start the blog. Now we’ve got to the point where I can actually wish you all a goodnight and hope that the new week is the best ever for you all.

Two pictures from nursery this week.

And just to finish the week, a taste of the Dream Team. The Mamas and the Papas with Monday Monday.

Following Blogs and Bloggers.

In an effort to make it clear that I try never to be rude I need to explain something. For some reason over the last couple of days I’ve had 3 new people follow my blog and I’ve found myself unable to follow them back. This is not because I doubt they’re nice people, it’s because in looking at their blog with a view to following I find that their content is mainly (or all) religion. If I follow a religious blog I stand the chance of others assuming I share or support the views held there and I don’t want that to happen as it would not be true.

I know I could follow any blog I disagree with and question everything there which I think would be discourteous. Everyone one is entitled to their opinion even if I think it is wrong. The problem is that if a blog is centered on one subject alone and allows for no balance of view, for me it becomes very one dimensional. If a subject is not open for some debate then the subject matter isn’t open to change as I think all thing must change in order to grow. If a blog has taken on all the aspects of fanaticism and pushes religion at you then I find it dangerous no matter what the religion is. I can’t claim that religion is never mentioned in my own blog but I try to keep my topics flexible and they are open to criticism by anyone who hasn’t enjoyed them- unless they are abusive which I have no tolerance of as I’m sure people would not like me to be  abusive or disrespectful towards them.

If you’re happy to follow my blog without me reciprocating then you will be made welcome. I will try my best not to offend you with content and bad language something which I hope you will extend towards me and my other followers. Please remember that I have friends of many Nationalities and religious creed who may not appreciate a lecture on how misguided their beliefs are in the eyes of your particular deity. This is a social site and I strive to maintain a level of welcome for everyone.

Thanks for your understanding.

David

Somnos Plays & Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.

Sunday.02.11.2014

Back on track this morning at 4.22 am. I realised I’d forgotten my running shoes so went back home.-Boom, Boom. Mike tells me I blame him far too much for things on the blog so I want to make something quite clear this morning. It wasn’t his fault I couldn’t get back to sleep, it was the fault of his snoring. See Mike, I’m ready to apologise and apportion the blame properly. I’m sure you’ve seen films like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where something is triggered and the walls of the room start to close in on you. If you enter Mike’s bedroom you’d be praying for him to exhale before you were crushed.

After refilling Niagara Falls I turned the computer on. It was really nice to see last night’s blog had so many likes and wonderful comments too from my friends. I do appreciate you all. The other blog is oddly quiet so I sense that people must think it’s a pipe dream with no chance of succeeding. I’ll keep on trying though as one day people may have had enough and the ranks may swell. Two idiot messages this morning but I just deleted them, they’re not even a challenge any more. One though did say I needed to get in touch to find out what major event would happen in my life in the next 5 weeks. I had to stop myself laughing out loud because it must be 5 weeks since the first one of those messages and the major event for that period hasn’t happened yet. Not even £10 on the lottery.

I worked till 7.00 am and took a break. Big Al was still passive and the plecs looked like they were glued on the sides of the tank. I couldn’t help but think the place was lacking a bit of colour. Big Al can’t be everywhere at once. I know I said I was going to let the tank run down but perhaps just a few more fish for a little longer. I had my meds and made my coffee which as usual I took through. I spent some time on Ebay looking for Christmas stocking ideas but found nothing inspirational. all the while keeping on top of my mail. As things slowed I got washed and dressed so the bathroom would be free for Mike. Not that I ever charged him much anyway.

He got up at 9.30 am so couldn’t moan at me for not giving him a lie in. One of these weeks though if the weather stays like this I’m going to upset him and suggest a car boot sale. I made him a coffee and sat in the lounge with him as he attached pins to his eyelids  and with small strings thrown over his head proceeded to pull them open. There was an almighty groan as the daylight penetrated and he started to  wake. The first thing he did? Turn the laptop on and go straight to Ebay to see the latest watch he’s bidding in. It’s due to have finished at 8.00 pm today and he couldn’t decide how much he wanted it. Plus, as he’s likely to be travelling at that time, should he let me deal with the final bids up to his top limit for him. I offered to do just that.  Secretly I was hoping he wouldn’t go further with this one though which I’ll explain presently.

About 11.00 am he told me to get dressed (?) ready to go out. When I pointed out the clothes I was wearing he said “Oh yes, it must have been me I meant” which is an indication of the gibberish I’ve been dealing with this last week. When we were ready he ran me to Flint and to Jolley’s the pet shop to look at fish again. When we got back afterwards I welcomes to the tank two Siamese fighting fish ( female) Morecambe-Purple and Wise-Dark red. Also Sharkey a raspberry tipped  albino shark and a Little Al. We left them in bags to adjust to the heat of the tank then after half an hour added some tank water to the bags before going out for lunch. I’ve made mention of Abakhan before where they deal with materials of all kinds, tiaras, wools and crafting goods. They have a nice new cafe there and though we’ve been there a few times this would be the first time for a Sunday lunch. We both felt it was a little on the mean side which judging from our waist lines is only to our benefit, but the food itself was very tasty. Once we’d finished it was straight back home to let the new fish into the tank. Sharkey hid as his kind is wont to do and Little Al latched onto Big Al and chased him round the tank. I think he wants his mummy. The fighting fish were fine and just swam round unconcerned by any activity.

Beautiful fish. The effect of the tail out when the Siamese fighting fish is swimming is great. This is not Sharkey since he’s albino but that’s just a bit paler than the one above and the tips rather than full fin are coloured in a more raspberry shade.

Once that job was done I got Mike to sit a minute while I told him I was worried about his birthday gift. If he didn’t come next weekend because his daughter is over from Poland he’d have to wait another week for it. Wouldn’t he please consider taking it home with him. He explained he wanted me to see his reaction on opening it which was nice. I was also a bit worried that the watch he wanted to bid on was quite similar to the watch I’d bought him. We settled that he’s open it today but save his card for the actual day. He was very appreciative. I knew he wanted one in a rose gold colour and this one was actually gold plated, a moon phase, day/date automatic. He did seem pleased as he actually cancelled his interest in the one online. Then it was time for him to leave and go to visit his father before heading home tonight. I had a message at 11.00 pm to say he was home safely. As for me, it’s back to the mail now.

Monday.

This was  a 4.11 am morning. It was also the morning of the great flood when I went to the loo. I seemed to pass so much fluid I was looking out for the ark or at the very least a bird with an olive branch overhead. I really don’t remember drinking a bath full last night. By the time I got back to my bedroom Microsoft had another two releases out. Windows 10 now. There was a fair bit of mail but not enough to have me in a panic. It would be slow but steady first thing. Time enough to comment on other blogs and time to read blogs mentioned by others that I’m not currently following. I sometimes find new blogs to follow and sometimes gain new followers in return.

At 6.45 am I found myself trying to tattoo my forehead again and waking up with a start. I decided to finish off the batch of mail I was on and then go through to make a coffee to wake myself a bit. It wouldn’t do to go back to bed and then have the cleaner walk in on me and have to give instructions from my bed. Anyway, first off I went to the kitchen and turned the overhead light on and then the tank light. I could see Big Al straight away and I’m not sure he looked on me too kindly. The company I’d hoped to give him with Little Al seems to have backfired a bit as it now looks like Mary and a little lamb following on. The plecs seemed happy and the two fighters were looking bright and enjoying the space. The only one I couldn’t see at first was Sharkey who is by nature very shy and had insinuated himself into the smallest gap between the glass and the pump. I could see he was breathing and just hoped maybe he’d come out and grab a bit of the food I was putting in.

I decided to have some breakfast myself this morning and settled on a small box of cornflakes. It means that tea is optional later and I won’t need tablets with it if I do. Once the cornflakes were don I took all my meds and made a decaffeinated coffee to take back with me. Maybe that was a silly thing to do as it didn’t help with trying to stay upright with open eyes.I was just fading then jerking myself back and wondering where I was up to. As it was almost 8.00 am and Pauline was due at 8.30 am it was too late to take a different tack. I struggled on, sure I could manage 2 hours and then collapse onto the bed.

8.30 am came and went as did 8.45 am just then the door opened and in came Pauline bright and breezy with the warm weather outside. We exchanged hellos and then she headed off in the direction of the kitchen where I thought he’d start the ironing as suggested last week. Instead I heard the sound of dusting. Or rather I heard the sound of things clinking together as the dusting was done. My fingers were crossed for no breakages. Then there was some hoovering until at 9.45 she asked If I’d like some ironing doing. I said that would be great. Two shirts and a pair of pajama bottoms later it was 10.15 am and she was ready to move on to her next job. She’s promised to be early next week which is good as I don’t think an hour and a half’s work is the bargain made. Once she’d gone I was on my second wind and didn’t need to jump into bed. I carried on working until 11.30 am with a break when the postman came and delivered some CD’s I’d ordered for Christmas. There was also an envelope full of Christmas cards pained by those artists who paint by mouth or by foot. I refuse to call them foot and mouth artists to entertain you uncouth lot. They want me to buy 10 cards for £7.50 which I confess I find quite steep. I’ll have to think on it as I’ve already ordered a batch of my own cards for this year.

At 11.30 am I started on my lunch and at 12.00 pm settled down in the chair to enjoy it. Wen I’d finished I took the plate through for washing and came to watch the rest of Bargain Hunt. I lasted about 10 minutes before I was lightly sighing in the chair ( get that Mike? Lightly sighing!) I didn’t wake again until almost 2.00 pm when I saw Doctors was on and I wondered where Ju was. I turned the TV off and came through to start work again. I was determined to finish in time to watch (fully) an antique programme at 4.30 pm. I was just five minutes late for the start. It was a good show. During the break I made a sandwich then watched Flog It, Eggheads and The Big Bang Theory before decamping to the computer for the night. Lots of mail in as usual and I have to get as much done as possible so there’s a breathing space tomorrow when I go to see Yvonne and Reuben.

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday.

I imagine a young god sitting on the edge of a mountain somewhere in Greece just sniggering. He obeyed all the rules last night for a Trainee god of sleep by helping me drift away when my light went off about 12.30 am. His fun came this morning when he woke me at 3.10 am and muttered “That’s your lot pal, it didn’t come with guarantees.” You’ll have to imagine the Greek accent of course. Once he had me awake and up he could nip down to the staff canteen for a pot of Greek yoghurt  or some Ambrosia. He, lets call him Little Somnos, though I can think of more colourful names about now, thinks he has a ‘Wickid’ S.O.H.                                                                             When I pop my clogs I may just be trying for a holiday in that region but instead of open toed sandals I shall be wearing something suitably fetching in a steel toecap.

I started on the mail. Anything to take my mind off the time even though I knew I wanted time to clear up before I went out. There was a message from my pet psychic again which was titled, Urgent, Read Me Before You Go Out. I was tempted to sit there puzzling about how she knew I was going out today until I realised that in the normal world people go out most days so there was a 95% probability I would be…or so she thought. For entertainment value I opened it but it was only another reminder that I should contact her to find out what the next three weeks holds for me and no prediction that my bus would be breaking down halfway up a mountain in a snowstorm. Mind you, in another month even that was an almost certainty. I disposed of it disappointed.

At 6.00 am I went through to the kitchen to feed the fish and like a little god myself, make their day by putting the light on. The plecs were lying in the open and I could see one of the assassins crawling across the tank floor.I bet that’s painful with all those sharp little stones. I can’t see hide nor hair of the other one nor of an empty shell somewhere. Morecambe and Wise were swimming about happily ignoring each other and each little spurt opened out their glorious tails. Big Al was doing a runner to avoid the attention of Little Al who obviously can’t take a hint. Of Sharkey there was no sign again but I’m patient. I dropped some food in and turned away to get my meds. It’s amazing how boring the life of the gods can be. The routine goes like this, I take both my sprays then three quarters fill my mug with milk. This morning because I was having breakfast I took a pre-meal diabetic one first. Then bravely I down six in one with a good swallow of milk and hope they stay down. Mike laughs at me because I keep the milk long enough to turn to yoghurt as I try to swallow. Then in turn I take one each of two huge painkillers with a swallow of milk, again taking ages before I find the right moment just to swallow. It’s lucky when he’s here there’s no chance he’d be up to see me take this first lot. What’s left of the milk in the mug is now the basis for my coffee. And the coffee is used to take the two post-meal tablets which are also torpedo sized and taken one at a time. I had a cigarette to time having my cornflakes.

The coffee came back with me to my room. It was time to get dressed ready for going out. It wasn’t raining and the forecast is for sunshine until late afternoon from about 9.00 am. I thought I’d risk a sports jacket with a waistcoat underneath. By 7.15 am I was as up to date as possible and had time to make a new post on the Buthidars before letting the computer rest. At 7.30 am I went out for the bus.The sunshine hadn’t arrived yet and I was bloody freezing. Typically the bus arrived at the stop a I did so I had a hill to walk up.  The driver wished me good morning and commented how unusual i was that no-one was waiting at the stop. Either he couldn’t really see me or he meant other than me as there are generally a few more. I was grateful for him closing the door and driving off. We were halfway up the hill when…………nothing happened. No breakdown and no snowstorm. When we got to Holywell, I sent Yvonne a text to let her know I was on the bus then I rested my chin on my crutches and went to sleep. Crutches I said, I’m not a circus performer.

Obviously I woke up every time we hit a pothole so that was most of the time. These days we have so many there are even potholers climbing down them. People try to avoid them and drive like they’re drunk. Weaving across the road so that the oncoming traffic fears a crash. The surgeries are full of drivers with white finger syndrome. I was awake as we arrived at my stop in Chester at 8.45 am but there was no sign of Yvonne. I got a text to say Reuben had decided to fill his nappy as they were about to depart and she was running down the road to meet me now. I was glad as the sun was still now out and I was flipping cold. Five minutes later and I saw them in the distance waving like crazy. I checked behind just in case there was a building about to fall on me but it was just a hello wave. Reuben was about 6 feet away when he spotted me and broke into a grin. I was hoping it wasn’t because he was planning his moves for the day. We hugged and Reuben got a hold on one of my crutches which made walking a little hard. I suggested coffee.

Yvonne needed socks for Reuben so we went into a clothes shop that has a cafe upstairs. I nipped to the loo to chip off some icicles while Yvonne ordered a hot drink. I got my first proper hug from Reuben a he sat in a chair next to me. We had coffee and toast while Reuben had Weetabix and some toast which decorated the floor when he’d had enough. Then we went shopping. As usual she point blank refused a new coat but I’m going to go ahead anyway. I did manage to get her a couple of hats though and for some reason an owl cruet. We got Reuben’s socks and left for the next shop. Here I was lucky enough to fulfill some of my Christmas stocking needs. Things are really going great now.I think all my major gifts are taken care of, or I hope they will be if I get lucky on Ebay this afternoon. Just my gifts for abroad to deal with then. The next shop was a favourite and I picked up a fretwork wooden Christmas tree made up of words for Yvonne. Then it was time for another wee since my bladder was defrosting a bit. I went down in the lift leaving the two of them hovering upstairs on the ground floor waiting for me. I came back up on the escalator to surprise them and instead was nearly surprised by falling over as it moved faster than expected.

Another drink then and I opted for a crushed ice drink of lemon which Yvonne copied. Very refreshing and such a delight to see Reuben’s face when he demanded to try it. Fair play, he might have scrunched hi face up but he didn’t let it put him off. The only bugbear was he pile of ice he was accumulating in Yvonne’s lap as he didn’t like that.

Yvonne says this is the look of love. I think it’s the look of mischief.

 

 

 

 

Those gingerbread men don’t stand a chance.

It was time for the playground next. Reuben had been very patient with us so far but there’s only so much shopping a boy can take. Because it had rained early the slide was off the menu but he had the time of his life on the swings which he loves.

Soon enough it was time for us to say goodbye. I needed to catch the Ebay special home and Yvonne needed to get ready for work while Reuben had a nap. I caught the 1.00 pm and was at my home stop by 2.00 pm.A quick nip into Pauline’s and then home. It was nice to be home though I wasn’t thrilled with 208 messages waiting. I was still OK with Ebay which was due to finish at 3.45 pm. The messages were a priority so they were the first thing to be tackled. One thing that delighted me was that my friend Sally had kindly re-blogged my piece from the Buthidars and today there were lots of likes from people who’ve not been there previously. Some even started following that blog. Maybe the mood of the World is moving in a new direction….I wish. At 3.40 pm I went back to Ebay and poised myself for a battle before the item closed, I put in the amount I was willing to pay and then waited poised like a statue until the last ten seconds when I pressed the offer. I won, not just because of my immaculate timing but because no-one bid against me.

Back to the mail until 4.30 pm when I went to watch my antique show . I made myself a Big Soup which was actually beef stew and dumplings. There was a back taste I can’t identify which put me off having it again and then I had a chocolate cake. I must have nodded off just before the end of the show as I didn’t see who won this leg and I didn’t wake up until 6.05 pm. I wasn’t going to hang round for the quizzes today so it was back to work straight away.  I’m as up to date as I can be and it’s now 11.35 pm and about time to turn in. I hope Little Somnos isn’t on duty tonight.

Just to show I do listen to some modern music too. I don’t know why this one caught my imagination.

Wednesday.

3.44 am saw me hopping round the last square foot of floor space in my bedroom with cramp in my calf. No dear, I’m not running a dairy farm, I mean the calf in my leg. The left leg as it happens which is lucky as my right leg is definitely stronger. Well, this knocks Mike’s theory on the head that I get cramp from too much salt, I haven’t had a bag of crisps this morning yet. I hopped round to the computer and bending down carefully turned it on before I proceeded to hop along the passage way to the loo. This was not an easy job today as my left hand was supporting me on the wall as my right hand massaged the offending calf. Well, the rest you’ll have to imagine for yourselves. The pain eased off and I was able to walk albeit haltingly back to the bedroom. I had at that point finished using the loo and had washed my hands. You know, a light bulb has just gone off in my head. If I’d sat down on the loo I’d have managed so much better. AC Flory often says she has to do my thinking for me.

The post from last night and the early hours has been heavy and seems to be coming in without a break so it’s all I can do to hold my own. ( Now now missus, behave yourself.) I worked solidly through until 7.00 am when it was time to go through to the kitchen.  After putting the main light on so I could see, I put the tank light on so the fish could see. Like two pretty flags in the breeze ( waxing lyrical now) the fighters swam gently round the middle of the tank. The plecs lay unmoving on the bottom. Big Al was dashing back and forth and side to side only stopping once when close to me for a quick glare, but was soon on his way again hotly pursued by Little Al.  Of Sharkey there was no sign but I was expecting that and wasn’t worried. I put some food in and went to concentrate on my tablets. How I could miss a mouth the size of mine I don’t know but I threw one past my head and onto the floor. I had a drink of milk and swallowed the others before looking for the escapee. I saw it and picked it up which had me looking in the direction of the tank again. Big Al had come to a stop in his corner right on top of a plec. Little Al came and settled down beside him. The plec not knowing what the heck was going on had to wriggle out from underneath. It was then I saw Sharkey’s nose just peeping out from inside a sunken galleon before nipping out and grabbing some nosh.

I took my drink back to the bedroom and carried on working. Time just seemed to fly by. At some point I got dressed even though I wasn’t going out. Most of the mail was pretty good until we’d passed 11.00 am. First came….. You’ll be surprised to hear what your future holds Wed, 05 Nov 2014 from Humanic web. I thought she was never going to bother me again if I didn’t answer her. Anyway, a Humanic web might hold a spider so I had no problem getting rid of that . I wasn’t many more messages along when the next one came…… Need your urgent respons …..Barakis Nooman to you.  It seems Barack Obama sorry,Barakis Nooman is writing from the Ivory Coast. She is Congolaise while her deceased husband ( we know where this is going don’t we) was French. Long story short-….there’s $5.5 m in an account for children she’ll never have now. 30% is mine if I will distribute the rest to charity homes and the less privileged of the world, like there aren’t any of those in the Ivory Coast. I’m afraid this also went the way of the bin. I knocked off at 11.30 to start on my lunch which today was a lamb hock and some Colcannon potatoes. I hung around to watch my antiques programme which ended at 1.00 pm. Unfortunately I must have nodded off about ten to the hour and missed the end ( again). I woke at 1.48 pm just after Doctors had started. A good enough reason to get back to work.

I’d no sooner started back than I received a new message……. Eventually did I find you again DAVID ….Zora to you. Intrigued I opened it. What a pillock. This is from someone calling herself Zoradamus who’s had a revelation about me and wants to offer me a free clairvoyance. Probably I’ve had bad experiences from other fraudulent astrologers on the net but she’s the real deal. My name appeared in a subconscious vision, well, I’ll let her tell you herself…….                                                                                        How do I know you, DAVID ?

No doubt you’re saying to yourself «it’s anather scam, I won’t answer… ». However it’s a genuine proposal. Think hard, how do you think I know you?
Quite simply because I’ve had a revelation about you and your name appeared to me in my subconscious vision. The hardest thing was to find you, and for this I used numerous search methods. Moreover in the course of these searches I learned that you’ve already called on clairvoyants, mediums and other so-called professional before and have generally been disappointed…
Don’t confuse me with them because I’m here only with the aim of making your life better. I want to become your personal astral adviser and I swear to you that ill put all my power at your disposal so that you obtain what you have wanted for a long time…  ( Oh yeah? )         By this time I was almost asleep again so it followed the other messages to the bin. My advice, If I suddenly start invading their brains like this, they should just tell me to beggar off and they should ignore me like I’ll ignore them.

I worked till 4.30 pm and was really getting up to date but I wanted to see day 3 of Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is- antique challenge. Then I needed some tea before the gang arrive. I only just made it. I finished two rounds of toast and put my plate in the sink when Dil and Matt arrived. I made their drinks and let them see the end of the quiz that had come on before getting the games table out. We had six lines of Yahtzee and somehow we all won two each. Then came the Nomination which was quite a struggle ,especially as I wasn’t doing the scoring, but I think Matt ended up winning because he was doing the scoring. Lastly was Crazy 8’s  which I did win while Matt got hammered because I did the scoring in this one. It’s always a blow when 9.30 comes and they have to go . Dil always thanks me though it’s me who owes him the thanks for coming out so far after work, and Matt for giving up an evening to come. I tidied up and washed the pots, took my evening meds and came through. What a blow. Emails by the boatload and for some reason quite a few new ones. I had to stop at 11.30 to start the blog. It’ now 12.30 am and I don’t feel like going back to it tonight so I’m going to try and get some sleep soon.

PS. So honoured to have received an invitation to a wedding today from India. I wish Ratandeep Singh and his wife every happiness on Nov 15th. He’s a wonderful poet and I’m privileged to call him Friend.

Thursday.

Bizarre. I didn’t get to bed until 1.00 am and was determined to read at least a chapter before my eyes closed. What was difficult was getting my eyes to close despite being tired. I turned the light out at 1.35 am and tried laying there. At some point I slept. At 3.07 I was awake again. I said “Not a chance” and snuggled down again. I next came to at 6.45 am. Of course I could see that it was a lot lighter outside than usual an I panicked. No point in getting under Big Al’s skin once again. I literally flew to the bathroom ( Pan-Am in case you’re interested) and relieved the bladder that gave every indication that I was having an elephant’s pregnancy and carrying the herd. It took a while. From there I went straight to the kitchen and it was just touching 6.55 am. I was safe. Both lights went on and as the tank one flickered to life I could see Sharkey was already out investigating the terrain. Maybe the stories of the four second memory are true and he sees the terrain afresh all the time. Two of the plecs were stretched out on the glass which fascinates me as they appear see-through like that. Of course one of them may just be flat from being under Big Al yesterday. I couldn’t see the third but he was about somewhere. The fighters were waiting for breakfast- bang goes the four second theory-and flashing me their tails so I’d call them beautiful. Little Al was in the race of his life against himself  as he’d seen his refection in the glass and Big Al was in his corner near the front watching every move I made. I put food in the top but Big Ala’s eyes didn’t deviate from their target at all. It was quite unnerving.

Having survived the feed and my various meds I made a coffee to take back to work with me. I signed into my bank to check the account then into the lottery just to see if my account was about to get healthier. It wasn’t. I logged into Ebay to see if there were any messages from the seller of the item I won yesterday saying she was withdrawing it because she wanted more money. When I saw there were 2 messages I started to panic, and both from her. The first one told me she’d be posting out the trainers on Friday? Trainers, what trainers? The second was to apologise and say she’d sold a few items and got confused. The item I bought would be going out tomorrow with next day delivery. Fantastic, I had a huge bargain there. Finaly I logged into my Emails. I don’t know whether it was to round yesterday off or to start today but there was a message timed 00.00 and marked Confidential Letter for You which intrigued me until I opened it up. There ran the usual……. My name is Mr. Mahdi Kaamil. I am working with one of the prime banks in Burkina Faso. Here in this bank existed a dormant account for many years, which belong to one of our late foreign customer. The amount in this account stands at $13,300,000.00 (Thirteen Million Three Hundred Thousand USA Dollars). Ah well, I suppose I had missed this one yesterday so here it was to satisfy my need to press the rubbish button again. I’m sure I keep most of that region in work, not that they get paid for it of course.

I worked fairly steadily throughout the morning and actually made great progress, catching up towards about 11.00 am. I started viewing gift ideas on Ebay again for some friends abroad and by chance found just the things. It meant having to get them now though as it’s unlikely they’d be there much longer. So some people will be having Christmas in November. I only have one more to find abroad now. One coat and a few odds and sods to find for stocking presents over here.Progress has been great so far. At 11.45 am I knocked off for lunch which I kept quite light today. I watched my antiques show and stayed awake throughout going straight back to work at 1.00 pm without having to wake up first. I had an email about Yvonne’s birthday gift which should be delivered no later than Monday. When I first ordered it the bummf onscreen said up to ten days delivery, at ten days I went on to query it and it had suddenly changed to 15 days so I sent a message for them to verify it was on the way. Today it finally is.

There was plenty of mail to keep me going until 4.30 pm but I actually finished a few minutes before then. I almost put my shoulder out throwing my arm up in a victory punch and hitting the shelf where my printer is. The blue air was soon clear again as I went through to watch Put Your Money Where your Mouth Is day 4. It might have been a struggle but I actually kept my eyes open. As it was over I made some tea. Mince pies and custard, perhaps not what the diabetic clinic would suggest but all the nicer for that. I saw two more programmes and at 6.30 pm went back through to save myself for the new episode of Big Bang Theory at 8.30 pm. The first thing that faced me as I opened the screen was a notice that Java needed updating. Since I’ve had this before and done this before I saw nothing unusual or suspicious so told it to go ahead. Aaarrrggghhh, there are times I hate me and hate the computer. The download seemed to finish then a message came up about registry errors which I deleted. It came again and more. Box after advertising, annoying bloody box. I went into delete programmes and deleted the four obvious ones and the Java update all from today but it hasn’t solved the problem. While I’m doing emails if I press reply a new advert comes up for bingo, if I move o respond on twitter I get an advert showing a topless girl            ( and by topless I mean no clothes, because she certainly has a top), her advert says You Ring, We F**k. There are ads for Bingo and betting and at the moment the left side of my head is bald from me pulling my hair out by the roots. Some of these firms are huge but I’d never buy their product when they use these tactics of what amounts to home invasion. On the other hand, I do have a new hairstyle at least.

In between removing these ads I managed to get up to date in time to go watch Big Bang. It was great and put me in a great mood. A pity no-one gets the advantage of it before I revert to bear with sore head again. I returned to the computer and became the bear again, I shan’t mention the sore head. Once I’m up to date again I think I’ll call it a day ( a night?) and look at it fresh again in the morning.

Friday.

It was a long late night and a struggle and I still couldn’t find anywhere these damned add-ons were hiding. In the end I’d no choice but to give up before I was going to bed after it was time to get up. In the end I got up at 6.31 am. Still tired and still irritable enough to ignore Big Al after I’d been for a wee. He was swimming round in circles in the hopes of getting Little Al off his tail, I just said “Go for it Little Al”, that’s how brave I was. I left them all to it this morning an concentrated on getting my meds down my throat and then refilling all the poxy little dishes for the next round. I’m sure sometimes I must even do it right.

I brought my coffee to the bedroom and it’s here I’ve spend most of the dale making myself bald on just the one side so I can wear a cap at a jaunty angle and look as though I have hair. I did searches to try and help solve the problem and just spent so much time clicking obscuring adverts off. I was so cross I could’ve crushed a grape as  one comedian used to say. In between I was going into gmail to try and keep up but it’s a problem that it’s not my main email base and doesn’t get them all. I went to talktalk but could not get into the normal mail session and had to sign into an older version that’s slower and you have to keep running to the top of the page to delete anything you’ve dealt with. The only break I got was when the postman came and delivered what he called a box of lead. It turned out to be a box of jewellery boxes for watches and bracelets. They were heavy too. I also received an attachment for holding the airpump to the wall of the tank which I’d ordered from the Isle of Man, and my Christmas cards. They’re a little different this year but I hope they’ll go down well.

At lunch time I was glad of the break from the screen. The adverts and the pleas to download things to speed the computer, de-gunk the computer or to make it sing and dance were getting to me as much as the general adverts. The adverts were popping up and down like tin cans at a rifle booth on the fairground. Wouldn’t I like a rifle right about now. For speed’s sake I made a quick pizza and chips which as usual I ate in front of the TV. Funny, the TV never gets jealous though. Once the last item had gone through the auction and I knew who’d won I came back to work. Back up a second, before anyone accuses me of being a bigger slob than I am, I did wash the pots first. The mail was still my priority as it was still coming in. I had to break off when the warden came to make sure I was still alive but that didn’t take too long. A I started getting closer to catch-up on the gmail I decided to have one last go at solving the problem. I did another quite specific search for help with add-ons on Windows Vista, I followed all the directions and found nothing where I was supposed to go but bizarrely I did find a link to some downloads and one of them looked promising. I tried it and the ads seem to have stopped. The talktalk problem didn’t seem to have resolved itself straight away but the ads had stopped, yes those damned ads had stopped, ceased, were no longer coming. Yippee.

After clearing the gmail box I thought I’d better sign back into talktalk slow version and at least try and clear some of those. Lo and behold, the normal version sign on came up and when I tried I got access. By the time 4.30 pm arrived I was beaming from ear to ear. “Where to where” you ask? “There to there” says I. I was able to go and watch the final night of my Antique battle of wits, a second antiques show and Eggheads before celebrating with my bi-annual shower. Is that twice a year or once every two years? When I came out I checked my phone for any messages ( I got dressed first just in case) but nothing from Mike. It’s possible he’s not coming this weekend. I’ll give him time in case he’s on the way. I was able to carry on working quite cheerfully and have been up to date a couple of times since then. At 9.15 am I sent Mike a text to see if he was OK and received one back “Lesbing (?) Rugby in 15 mins, refuelling and be there about midnight.  That’s not too long to wait then so I’d better prepare his mug, the Chauffeur one.  He arrived at midnight and we chatted for an hour before heading for our rooms. I didn’t even read.

Saturday.

OK, not too many viable excuses for the time this morning. It was 5.02 when my laggardly self got out of bed. Naturally I went with speed to the bathroom , speed had to wait it’s turn, I was first and I was desperate. Coming back I’d have slowed down considerably if it hadn’t been for worry about mail and how much time I’d lose today. But first, the lottery results just to put me in a black mood with little bolts of lightning forming above my head. When will those fools learn to pick the right numbers, by which I mean my numbers of course? I started on the mail. It was good, no problems, not too much stupidity. Nigeria and Burkino Faso must still be asleep. At 6.00 am I went through to the kitchen. The light in the tank showed me all was well with Morecambe and Wise, The pleks seemed happy enough in their little conclave, Sharkey stuck his head out, looked around and joined the throng and Little Al was like a flea on heat just bouncing around from place to place. Big Al on the other hand had me stumped, was that a look of hate he directed at me or mayhap it was a plea since there was an air of defeat about him.  I do believe his new boon companion is rather less boon than I’d hoped and he appears to be running Big Al ragged with his attentions. I wonder whether I’ve made a mistake and maybe it’s Little Alice chasing the big man? Don’t say anything but I do feel sorry for him, he’s had things his own way up till now.

Medications out of he way I took my drink back to carry on working. It was a bit of a surprise when I heard Mike’s alarm go off so I gathered he intended to go shopping with me. I made a coffee and took it through. By that time Mike’s intentions seemed to have changed but I let him know it was there anyway. He did acknowledge me so I left him to it. By twenty five past it became obvious that he’d turned the alarm off altogether and it wouldn’t ring a second time. A little louder I reminded him the drink was still there there and might be going cold. I went off and started getting the bins ready to go out and came back to find him up. While he came to, drank the coffee and then got himself ready I went back to work and made great progress. We were late out and didn’t reach Asda until 8.15 am. I raided the cash machine while Mike got the bags out of the boot and found a trolley then we headed indoors.

Mike started feeling ill which is not the effect shopping usually has on him so I walked him to the loo and started the shopping while he sorted his stomach out. It wasn’t too long before he joined me which only proves he doesn’t trust me on my own. We sauntered around an found a pair of trainers he needed since his others were wet through from yesterday and we had a ball in the sweetie aisle. Otherwise we concentrated fairly well. His stomach seemed to be holding up well. We had a coffee, I bought Yvonne an extra birthday gift I think she’ll appreciate and then we packed the car and left. ( after a cigarette of course). In Flint Mike was indignant that someone was using his parking place until I pointed out we were a little late and perhaps they thought we weren’t coming. I wouldn’t let him ram their car out so we found another space and set off shopping. He sulked till we reached the first shop but brightened up when we started putting things in the basket. We fairly zipped round there then headed for the second shop where we knew what we were going for and didn’t deviate, mainly because we both needed the loo now. We headed for Temptations where I ordered the drinks, passed the chocolates and the money over and then disappeared. Mike kindly let me go first and didn’t put up his usual fight. That was probably because he was chatting to Ceri already.

I came out of the loo as Mike was putting the drinks on the table. I saw Ceri and had a quick word in her shell-like and reminded her of the Ginormous birthday of this week and just possibly suggested she stuck a candle in his teasted toecake. I sat at the table and started my drink leaving  my aged bro in ignorance unto Ceri brought him a big balloon tied to a little cappuccino mug with Special Person written on it. I wish she wouldn’t encourage him, there was also a tin of mints for memory problems in old age. Boy did I get a look. Why me???? Two minutes later and she reappeared with his toasted teacake with a candle stuck in it and sang Happy Birthday to him. I had problems keeping a straight face. I went outside for a ciggie and left them to chat a little more. When he came out we headed for home.

Mike unpacked the bags and I put the shopping away then came back to work for a while until Mike was ready to eat. There hadn’t been any post but a knock came at the door and I thought it was Bert with a parcel. Instead it was a courier with a parcel which turned out to be Yvonne’s Birthday present. I can’t give clues as she reads the blog in order to find out what I’ve been up to. She says I tell her nothing, I say I’ve nothing to tell. She’s worse than me and has spies everywhere so, You’ll just have to wait a few weeks Sweetie. I must have worked till gone 1.00 pm before Mike came through to see what I wanted to do. I said I was waiting for him to decide, he said he’s been waiting for me. We both got our coats on and set off. When we arrived at the Ivy Tariq came with welcome hugs then showed us what he’s done with the Dali posters of Mike’s. They’d both been framed beautifully and though they were the same size, one had a border and one did not so Tariq had left them that way so the frames matched in size. I”m sure it won’t matter as they’ll be on opposing walls. As we went back out Angie mouthed hello and asked “Drinks”? She was with customers so I mouthed “Yes please”? As it happened Tariq reappeared at that moment and made them.

There was a discussion as regards lunch and I was undecided today. Bacon or a hotpot? Mike was having the hotpot and ended up tossing a coin for me. I lost. I had the bacon sandwiches. When the meals came the hotpot looked glorious but he wouldn’t swap. Shells says she’ll make sure it’s on tomorrow and there’s some for me. I wonder if I have any pickled red cabbage? We enjoyed the food and also the poke round in Tariq’s workroom as he showed us some projects he has on. He’s never still and is a real craftsman.

We left about 3.15 pm and came straight home as by now I was really panicking about the mail. I started work straight away and Mike settled to watch some football. I had a break from 6.0o pm to 9.00 pm which also gave me time to make tea or in my case eat two doughnuts. I know it was wrong but if it makes you feel any better they were awful. Almost stale and totally devoid of any sugar. Serves me right. At 9.00 pm after Jonathan Creek I started work and haven’t left my seat since. Hows that for dedication.

I wish you all a Wonderful New Week with joy round every corner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

A couple of weeks ago I was given a new award by a very dear and extremely humorous lady who should be on everyone’s reading list.( She probably is). Elaine Canham  http://elainecanham.wordpress.com/                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Since I didn’t have an Author- or any other Interview yesterday , I’m taking this opportunity to share it with you.

 

For once there don’t seem to be many rules and it doesn’t matter too much anyway as I have a tendency to break them these days.

1. The first instruction is how you would change the world if you were in charge.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. No more weapons allowed though the military would be issued with jack-in-the-boxes to scare the enemy. No more space exploration as the money is now given over to feeding the World’s starving and to creating ways of bringing water to irrigate desert areas we once occupied. Hugging is mandatory when you meet someone ( unless they have the plague). No global conglomerates are allowed to dodge tax on profits made within a country by sending them elsewhere. In order to stem the tide of obesity junk food is now allowed only on birthdays.

2. Things I have to make up about myself, but that I wish were true.

a) I was once voted one of the ten most handsome men in the Universe ( excluding Venus as I’m told they’re all gorgeous)

b) I won the biggest ever lottery prize and spent it all on wine and women, the rest I wasted.

c) My blog was voted ‘Best Ever’ by a jury of my peers.

d) I learned to drive.

e) I entered a Mr. Nice Guy competition and lost out to Big Al, my albino cory.

One of the joys, and the most difficult part of awards is the nominations. Here are mine and absence of a name doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

http://stevevernonstoryteller.wordpress.com/  A very funny man as well as a prolific blogger.

http://writinghouse.wordpress.com/  Jon Sayer, fairly new to the blogging scene but full of humour.

Http://cindyknoke.com

http://whataheartcanhold.wordpress.com/  Jan Krause Greene. A lady who blogs for the planet.

http://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/  One of the most helpful blogs around run by one of the nicest men around.

http://belsbror.wordpress.com/  A born entertainer with is short stories.

http://olganm.wordpress.com/ A truly nice lady.

http://acflory.wordpress.com/  A.C FLory. A great blog with relevance.

http://theothersideofugly.com/  Sheri Bessi is an inspiration offering inspiration to those who need it.

http://francesays.com/    Mel is a humorist and shares stories of her life in France with us.

I could go on and mention so many more, Lottie, Mary J , The Snail……..but I’d be here all day. Just know I appreciate and enjoy all my friends.

 

 

Pre-Birthday wishes and The Tank Head Blues

Sunday.

Now here’s a puzzle. I went to bed last night at 12.35 am and I got up this morning at 4.51 am, or did I? The reason I ask the question is the first thing I did on getting up was turn the clocks and watches back an hour so I may have got up at 3.51 am in which case I could have had  nearly 3 hours sleep or nearly 4 hours sleep. Figure that out while you’re sober I dare you.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Naturally the first job after the great bladder unburdening was to get the computer warmed up and start on the emails. There was no point in teasing myself with questions as to whether I’d won the lottery as Mike had come through with the results last night an got rid of the disappointment early. It’s not like I want much really, a secure future for my family, charity donations ( that’s a new shirt for Mike), holiday homes on every continent and a bevy of beauties, Oh if only I could remember what to do with them.

It’s strange but recently I’ve felt the blog has been lacking something. Hasn’t been up to scratch in the humour department and yet two people say lat week’s blog was very funny. It’s been so bad I have considered giving up and concentrating on Author Interviews. Maybe I’ll rethink that option now. There was a fair bit of post to deal with but I had a break at 6.00 am to feed this fish which I didn’t dare forget after yesterday. I don’t need more of the evil eye from Big Al, I thought we were getting along so well these days. After taking meds I took my coffee back to my room and carried on working. I wanted to be as free as possible this morning in case we go freezer shopping. But, at about 7.00 am I had a text from Yvonne to say Ugo was playing in the church band this morning and so he’d drop her off here and join us later. That means we’d have to put Reuben’s seat in Mike’s car. She said they’d be here about 9.30 am which meant Mike and I wouldn’t be shopping. ( Feeling guilty yet Yvonne for not telling Ugo about the party in time?) Then she told me Reuben has been explosive from all directions overnight and this morning so he’s not a happy bunny.

Mike surprised me by getting up about 8.30 am completely unprompted. He was so proud. I know I could have pointed out it was 9.30 am really but I’ve kind of got used to my kneecaps being where they are. Instead, I just smiled and nodded a lot. I made his coffee  and then came back to clear up what I thought would be the last few pieces. I wan’t that lucky and the next thing I knew was it had reached 9.30 am. It didn’t worry me overmuch as Yvonne and timekeeping are distant cousins at best. (She says it’s Ugo on African time and I know he’s good at that.) They did arrive ten minutes later and Mike who’d got dressed went out to swap the car seats over for Reuben while I got to pick my grandson up and herniate a few discs in the process.  I left Yvonne with my Asus tablet to get a feel of using them as she’s still keen on the idea of a Hudl. I went off to get dressed and Reuben wandered between us both, quite happy and enjoying his explorations. I didn’t want to get changed twice today so I put my suit on early. I might not be shopping to fill the freezer but we were sure to be going somewhere. Then Yvonne asked if we could go to Abakhan mill where they do material and threads etc. I was sure we’d be able too and Reuben could go on the play area and we’d have chance of a drink.

Mike came back in after fitting the seat and said Ugo had gone back to his church and would see us later. There was no problem about going to Abakhan but since it was on the way to The Ivy he was going to change into his suit too, so we didn’t have to double back. By about 11.00 am we were ready to leave. It’s only a very short distance away so we were there quite quickly. Reuben was just showing signs of being niggly but that stopped when he saw the play area. I pushed him up and down on the see-saw then he saw the slide.. That as always was a wow though we couldn’t get him to pick his feet up so he’d slide easier. The shoes he had on acted like brakes and sounded like they needed oiling. For a change he didn’t head for the swings but ran to a horse set on springs. He did really well. Yvonne needed a gift for one of is carers  and while she chose that Mike bought Reuben a Welsh Dragon cuddly toy. We all went for a drink. Silence reigned for a few minutes then Reuben’s inner siren started up. People looked at us as though we’d just old Reuben he’d never see his parents again, no, that’s a terrible analogy since he’ll walk away with anyone. It was like he’d been told he could never go on a swing or a slide again. Heck, I almost howled for him myself then.

At midday we left taking the siren with  us much to the relief of the staff and headed off for the Ivy. Not too full but still someone sitting in the places I’d hoped to get. Tariq cam over to tell me as soon as they left the seats were ours. I said I simply had no room for them thanks all the same. We sat temporarily in our usual reserved seats and Angie made our drinks. We couldn’t order food until Karen and Jo got there but we could realx for a few minutes. The girls did arrive a few minutes later so it was hugs all round and then they all got into giving Mike his birthday presents. I know Yvonne got him a lovely dragon box and I saw a Chauffeur to his Lordship mug somewhere. After the couple had moved away from the tables I’d reserved I chivvied everyone until they moved over then asked Mike to borrow Angie’s pad so we could write down the orders as people decided. That worked fairly well and since we learned that Ugo was on his way, we stuck our order in and Mike and I went out for a ciggie and were joined by my wonderful niece Joanne. Tariq came out and I was able to pay him for the meals , asking him to let me know if it was any more after that. Big mistake.

After we’d gone back in the meals started arriving an so di Ugo who was able to  quickly order a drink and his meal. We all sat down to eat and had got Reuben some scrambled eggs. Things seemed to be OK for a while until he suddenly threw up. I don’t know how she did it, but Yvonne managed to catch it in tissue laden palms cupped together. She must have second sight. After we’d eaten, Mike an I headed outside again. Tariq stuck his head out and said Mike was wanted. When we were seated again, the staff came up behind Mike and sang Happy Birthday to him and fetched the cake Yvonne had bought in with her. Mike started cutting the tiniest slices until I asked how many he was feeding. Things got a little more realistic after that. He was given some presents by the staff that I daren’t describe here for the sake of decency. It was soon time to depart and after we’d swapped the car seats back Mike disappeared to visit his father and I rode home with Yvonne and Ugo after hugging my girls goodbye and calling goodbye to all the staff. I think it was about 3.00 pm when I got home and obviously had to fly straight into battle with the mailbox. I did quite well.

At about 5.00 pm I went through and found Voyage of the Dawn Treader on TV so I had the pleasure of watching that until 8.00 am. I was having a crisis of conscience though a I’d promised my self to watch Angels and Demons tonight and I very rarely watch films, I rarely have the time. Had I not told Mike I wanted to watch it and he’d said he’d watch it with me, I could have missed it and carried on working but no, he had to arrive back at 8.55 pm and I had to drop everything until 11.45 pm. Oh woe is me. I enjoyed the film but It’s now 12.30 am an I still have to get back to the post.

 

Monday.

So, it was another 1.00 am bed last night but a 5.18 am up.I was allowed a lie-in . I’m fine at that part of the day but tiredness is creeping up on me later in the day. Not much later today as it happens since I felt myself start yawning about 7.30 am, just in time for feeding the fish. I made sure I kept my mouth tight shut when I opened the feeding flap though in case one of them planned a jailbreak. As it was, I saw none of them at all. I tried a little gentle talking but they probably burrowed down a bit lower at that so I just left them to it and went about my duties, sprays, tabs and coffee. The latter I took with me back to my room and carried on working. At 8.20 am Mike got up and came through to my room. No doubt he remembered it’s the cleaners day. I made him a drink. She didn’t arrive at 8.30 and at 8.45 there was no sign of her. I could only assume she’d changed her mind about coming. Mike and I were looking at things on ebay when at 9.00 am the door opened. I asked how her hospital appointments had gone last week to see if she was well. After giving her answer she apologised for being late and then told me she could only work an hour again today as this time her car needs to go in for MOT. I asked her to run the hoover round the lounge and then sort the laundry baskets into iron and non-iron so those that  didn’t need it could be stored.

After she left Mike heard an almighty thud and went through and found all the laundry had collapsed onto the floor.We collected it and stored the non-iron away leaving the stuff to be ironed on one side till next weeks flying visit. We decided that maybe it was a good time to get dressed and decide what to do.By the time we were ready it was getting on for 11.00 am and we settled on a trip to Prestatyn. We both waved at the Ivy and the Bells of St Mary’s when we went past. I suggested Mike could be a little less enthusiastic and just use one hand so we could stay on our side of the road., he called me unadventurous. We reached Prestatyn alive and when my knees stopped knocking I tried to get out and walk. It was hard but I persevered. We did one of the shops I wanted then decided to have a look at the main street. After paying a visit to the loo we admired a few window displays and then went to a cafe for lunch. We’ve been there before and it was quite pleasant. From there we visited a card shop and tried to find some gift boxes, especially for watches but with no luck. It was time to head for home again and another bout of waving and knee knocking.

At home Mike settled on the laptop while I set to work on the emails. After a few minutes he came through to tell me not to worry about the watch boxes anymore he’d found and ordered some for me. That’s why he’s my bro. It took me until 4.30 to clear the bulk of the mail so I could watch TV with Mike and I stayed there till almost 9.00 pm. The post was once again frightening when I came back through and I’m a little distracted as I’m trying to win something on ebay. It’s my last chance after losing the previous one after forgetting to come through and bid. This time I was determined to put up a fight. It finished at 11.00 pm so I’ll soon know how it’s gone. ( I won it.)

Santa Unmasked

Tuesday.

5.12 am today and I sat bolt upright in bed like I’d heard a noise. I had. At first I thought an asteroid had hit and the San Andreas fault was slowly splitting.  Then I realised it wouldn’t make as much noise as ‘someone’ just two rooms away snoring. There’s a snorting intake of air, a few moments of blessed peace and then the sound of two fish slapping against each other as the air is finally exhaled flapping the lips together I don’t think I’d have managed to get back to sleep anyway but any attempt would have been thwarted by the schizophrenic conversation he then held with himself. Anyway, I was suffering oxygen starvation every time he breathed in so I thought I’d better get up and lean out of the front door. A couple of stiff breaths and I came in to start work. I did consider clouding matters by joining in the conversation but maybe it was best to let them chat between themselves.

At just after midnight I’d posted an author interview with my delightful friend Olga Nunez Miret. What a mistake that was, just about 5 hours later and my postbox was chock a bloc with likes and comments. I did have to do my banking first and check the overdraft was in place. By 7.00 am when I was due to get Mike’s coffee I still hadn’t caught up. I quickly saw to the fish and my drugs and made myself a drink.  After the first alarm the coffee went through and I called Mike, then I needed to get washed and dressed before starting work  again. The second alarm went off and I called Mike to say his coffee was growing cold. There was another acknowledgement but no movement so I carried on. Only after the third alarm was there any movement. I finished up to 6.30 am and then went through to the lounge. Fair play, once he’d drunk the cold coffee he didn’t take long to get ready and we were on our way to Chester at 8.15 am. It wasn’t the best thing to hear when hurtling through traffic that he felt just hal awake.

We arrived at the car park we”d chosen because it was on the flat only to find out the pricing structure had changed for the worse. Now we would pay through the nose by the hour. The attendant did tell Mike of another car park which offered £5 all day but only if you were in by 9.00 am after which standard charges applied which meant £5 for just two hours. We made it by the skin of our teeth. We walked to where we were meeting Yvonne and Reuben and were just a couple of minutes late. As we were meeting in a Cafe Nero it meant we could have a pre-shop coffee, and I could play with Reuben who was in good humour. He loves Mike and Mike is fantastic with him, playing peek a boo behind his hat. Playtime over we went almost next door to a clothes shop whose name I just never remember. It’s like a mental block. I was able to get two or three good outfits for Reuben ready for Christmas though as usual Yvonne and I battled over it. I just ignore her and do my own thing but poor Mike got it in the neck today for siding with me. Yvonne refused to be treated but I wouldn’t be thwarted.

We moved along to another shop and Mike got a trolley to push. Both Yvonne and I put our choices in it. Wen we got to the till, Mike was conveniently ‘in the way’ by the counter so I was able to pay for both lots. Where there’s a will……….. there’s a relative, there’s a way. We managed another shop where Yvonne occupied Mike for me while I went to get something for Christmas. It’s very large and quite awkward to carry. We stopped for another drink then Mike decided to take the big box back to the car. Yvonne and I wandered in the same direction. She had to be off soon to prepare for work and to let Reuben have a little sleep. Mike and I said our goodbyes and headed for the car to drive to a supermarket for lunch and some bread. I had a really quite nice liver and onions with mash and peas while Mike had something called a Hunter’s Stack. We picked up the bread and headed home, arriving about 2.00 pm.

I worked till 4.30 pm and couldn’t catch up. At 7.30 pm I came back to it and well over a hundred more had been added, It took me until about 11.00 pm to clear mail up to 9.30 pm. I stopped to give myself time for this post and will go back for a short time soon. The rest will have to wait until tomorrow. I’m going to have to bribe the web postie to drop my mail off a high cliff somewhere.

Wednesday.

I was up at 3.20 am this morning and thought the head start would help me stay abreast of the mail, especially as Mike said he was having a lie in so I could work undisturbed.  By 6.30 am I hadn’t caught up with last night’s messages and they were still coming in, but it was no excuse not to stop and feed the fish and take my meds early. I was pretty sure I needed a coffee to keep me alert. The fish didn’t want to co-operate and looked set to stay in their corner, that is until I was a little forceful with the food slot cover that caused a vase to topple which I then had to grab at banging my elbow on the edge of the tank in the process. Don’t worry, I saved the vase even if I didn’t save my arm. And the fish?, Well, the bang of my arm had them flying round the tank like they’d been scalded. They worked up a healthy appetite while I was entertained for a couple of seconds. I had my tablets and made a coffee to take back to my room. I was still smiling.

By 8.30 am I had my head above water and decided to get dressed. I got my shoes on too ready to leave the house at 9.00 am which I did and headed for the Post Office to send a parcel off. It had to be treated as a small parcel because I’d used a padded envelope as it was a perfect size. Annoying as it doubled the cost but hey-ho, it’s worth it. I also needed to nip into Pauline’s for cigarettes and my TV mag for next week. I was home by 9.15 am and Mike was still snoring in his bed. It was time to get back to work. It was only about twenty minutes or so before I heard Mike stir so I went to make him a drink  before coming back here to finish off the latest batch. Once I’d done that I went through rather than refresh the screen and worry about it. The postman came and knocked at the door. Mike answered  only to be told “You’re not David”. “No”, he said.” I’m that one” pointing at his name on one of the parcels being delivered. He took his off to open and came back a few moments later to pass me the package as it was some watch boxes he’d ordered for me. By way of fair exchange I passed him one to open as I knew the contents were for him and he was delighted to find a Dragon broach inside to replace one he lost recently.

Neither of us was in a rush but Mike decided to get dressed since I already was. We were both bidding for somethings on ebay but there was no point in waiting in for them as we’d placed our maximum bids already. It seemed a good idea to drag me away from the computer and go for a coffee in Flint. On the way there we decided to head for ALDI to see if anything interesting is due in. There was no chance I was coming out of there without spending so I bought a continental rhubarb and strawberry , custard tart and a few other bits and bobs. After that we headed for Temptations. It was late at 12.30 pm and it was lunchtime crowded so we didn’t get much of a chance to talk to the girls beyond Hello, and Ceri was off anyway. At least they got some chocolates to improve their day. Once we’d done we headed to pick up some iced lollies and went home. After unpacking, I got the freezer as usual while the evil toad got the easy jobs in the kitchen. There was no time to worry about the mail as Mike decided we’d go to the Ivy. We were over half way there when I realised I’d forgotten my tablets. Tough luck, I wasn’t turning back, it was already 2.00 pm.

There was just Tariq and Shella on duty but the greeting was as lovely as always. Tariq made the drinks as we decided on food. Once we’d ordered there was time for a cigarette outside. The meal arrived just a few moments after we sat down again. Tariq was in trouble for chatting with us instead of delivering our meals and Shella had to do it after cooking them. We were there quite a long time and it was 4.00 pm before we got back. I was only able to get half an hour in before Mike called me for the antique show. I didn’t get chance to come back through as Lee arrived then and gave me some very good news, I shall be a Great Uncle again in about April. He and Jen will make great parents. Dil and Matt arrived soon after and I had to id a smile when Matt cam in on crutches. I wasn’t smiling because he was hurt but because he did it falling off the couch. Lee shared the baby news with is Dad who was pleased as well.

For some reason we stuck to cards tonight. First was Nomination Whist which Mike won, followed by Crazy 8’s which was mine . Le had to leave then so we played 2 games of cribbage, Dil and Matt v Mike and I. Both games were quite tight but it was honours even at the end. Dil and Hopalong left at 9.30 pm an I had to have something to eat as I’d had no diabetic tabs today at all. The rhubarb and strawberry custard tart was wonderful. I washed up as quickly as possible and came through at 10.00 pm to find the computer had crashed because of a windows error and it needed rebooting. When I finally got back in there were 176 emails from this morning until tonight . I almost screamed. I did as many as possible before starting the blog and will goand have another try now till 12.30 am then it’s bed no matter what.

Thursday.

I haven’t the faintest what time I woke up this morning. I lay there trying so very hard to go back to sleep. It seemed like hours but I suspect it was less than one. When I finally accepted it wasn’t going to work and swung my legs out of bed it was 5.01 am. It didn’t feel like I’d slept much but since the time for trying seems to be about 1.00 am these days who’s going to argue with that.There is the bonus that I get a head start on the mail, sometimes I find myself replying to messages not even written yet, especially this week as we head towards All Hallows Eve.

I worked until 6.30 am then went through to the kitchen. There was no sign of life in the tank except from the weed growing an inch a minute in there. Mie said we must do the tank this week and today is the day. I didn’t put food in but it’s Mike who’ll be putting his hands in there late so why should I worry? I took my meds and made a drink. As I was about to go back to my room I hear Mike’s alarm go off. I don’t understand it. We have no plans for the day, why set the alarm? I turned the kettle on in case and went to my room. I needn’t have worried, the alarm stopped and I heard no movement. I’d settled into work again when the alarm went off a second time. There was a more forceful thud as it was turned off this time and peace reigned again. I worked on. There seem to be more annoying messages than usual today,or perhaps it’s just me being more sensitive to them. The usual ones were there, two from banks telling me they couldn’t pay my standing orders this month and I need to verify some details. Since I bank with neither of them I don’t think I’ll be rushing into that. The annoying ones were purporting to be from two big supermarket chains and started  You haven’t collected your voucher from ASDA/TESCO yet. When you click on them it comes up blank and you’re expected to press a box for more information. It’s only then I noticed they don’t seem to be coming from the firms but from individuals. Since I already have a virus on here I don’t really want to start sneezing.

Mike managed to get up about 9.30 am again and completely unaided. I stopped working and went to make his drink and chat to him. When he’d done we decided to start on the tank. I was the poor sod who drew the short straw for sucking on the pipe to start the water flowing so I ended up with a mouth full of manky water and snails. Blecchh. Mike removed all the ornaments trying to avoid pulling out any of the last four fish in there. I pulled the weed off and as many snails as possible to dispose of them. We don’t want all of them out as they help the water clarity, and we don’t want to kill off the assassin snails either. He carefully hoovered the bottom to clear as much old food and fish excrement as possible then we started filling the tank again with the now cleaned ornaments and fresh treated water. I recovered one assassin from the mounds of weed and hope that the other one was still in the tank somewhere. Big Al was zipping back and forth agitated by Mike’s movements in the water. I advised Mike to count his fingers afterwards. I couldn’t be sure if the three plecs were all there and safe but I know I saw one of them.

That took us to past midday and though I know I should have cooked I really didn’t feel like it. I offered to treat Mike somewhere. That was a bit of a mistake as neither of us was capable of making a decision. In the end we were heading up towards Holywell when Mike saw the Mill on the Hill and said “What about there?” Since we saw a sign about Sunday lunches, we thought we’d try. When we’d parked up we noticed that to have a Sunday lunch required waiting till Sunday so we settled on something sooner and had a nice home-made burger that came with Bovril’d potatoes. They were actually quite nice.

Back outside we were next to the Holy Well of St. Winefride and Mike asked a couple of questions. The story surrounding St Winefride is patently a myth but there are records enough from 1300 years ago to show she existed as did the other main characters. There are records to show she was buried in Gwytherin before being taken to Shrewsbury ( for those of you who’ve seen Cadfael). The Lourdes of Wales as the well is called is still in existence though I firmly believe the spring that feeds it is different now. There are ample signs of the healings from the crutches left behind though I won’t speculate as to what the healings can be attributed to. Anyway, since it’s only 60p a head for gentlefolk of our age I took him round.

From there we went home again and were in the house by 3.00 pm. That gave me an hour and a half to work before Antiques time and Mike chance to look up ebay. I paid for something I’d won while I was out, and then started work. I was 5 hours adrift and there were a lot of messages. When I went through to watch TV at 4.30 am  I was still only at 2.00 pm in the mail box. By the time I got back here at 9.00 pm I was 7 hours adrift and almost wetting myself. I broke off at 11.00 pm to do the blog and now have to go back to it for a while. Night All. x

Friday.

After the third beep it will be 3.00 am precisely. I nipped to the loo to download a river and a smile of relief spread across my face. It must have started a chain reaction as the moment I set foot back in my bedroom I heard Mike leave his and go . What a trailblazer I am.  I’ve never understood how he can go without actually waking up though. Imagine the fun if I ever decide to cover the top of the loo in cling film……..

I turned the computer on and started work. There were a few left over from last night where I hadn’t refreshed the screen and downloaded the last of them but there were far more for this morning with Halloween greetings coming in early from Australia and other places in the Southern Hemisphere.  I responded likewise though I’ve never been a follower of the Halloween traditions having always followed the UK traditions of Guy Fawkes night for November 5th with the fireworks and bonfire. It reminded me of the days when I and my friends would be carrying a dummy made up of old clothes in a wheelbarrow and station ourselves outside a pub in the early evening calling ‘Penny for the Guy’ as people came and went. Usually those going being the most generous. We could often buy quite a few fireworks and sweets with our ill gotten gains before the dummy was finally placed atop the bonfire for burning. The tradition seems to be dying off now and Halloween replacing it, though the bonfires and the fireworks still take place.

At 6.30 am I went through and turned the light on in the tank. I managed to see two of the plecs today and Big Al certainly seemed to be in a better mood. Maybe the weed was crowding him.  I took my meds and prepared my  mug for a drink but before I made it I did all my drugs for the next week in the appropriate pots. That all took me to 7.15 am so I made my drink and took it through to the bedroom. I just carried on working trying to keep apace with what was coming in. I texted my niece to see how she is after a small operation yesterday and during the course of our conversation found out what she wanted for Christmas, which I knew was going to be music. As time went on I received a text from Mujo to see whether Mike and I would like to meet them at Betws y Coed as it was set to be a fair day. I replied I’d have to ask Mike ( when he woke) but I was pretty sure the answer would be yes. As it was approaching 9.00 am I made a coffee to take through and as I stepped into the room he woke up. Perfect timing. After giving him 10 seconds to gather his wits ( few as they are) I relayed the message and he agreed. I sent a message to Muriel and said we’d meet them about 11.00 am there. After getting ready and me crying bitterly as I wasn’t up to date with the post we left the house about 10.00 am and after a minor detour set off. I suggested a journey which took us to Bodelywyddan, towards Betws yn Rhos but diverting to Llanfairtalhaiarn, on to Llangernyw near Gwytherin ( of St Winefride fame) and on to Llanrwst  then on to Betws y Coed itself. It’s a beautiful place nestling in the Snowdonia range and has a fantastic little railway station where you can still take a trip on a steam train. We were able to park almost next to where MuJo were waiting and I passed over her birthday presents to go in the car. It’s her 65th on Bonfire night which is Nov 5th making her one day Mike’s elder, a point he never lets her forget. We had a nice wander down the parade of shops by the station until approaching midday we came to a cafe for lunch. MuJo insisted I’d paid last week and it was their turn. To be honest I couldn’t remember but I insisted I would do the afternoon coffee and cakes. After lunch we carried on and did the last few shops where Mike was thrilled to bits to be able to buy me a Christmas present though I wanted to buy it myself and not put him to the expense.

We left the parade and wandered into the small town centre which I love and visited a few more shops where we were frequently open mouthed at their London prices. We walked round an art gallery displaying the works of some very talented people. I was quite jealous.  Finally we started heading back towards the parade where MuJo also bought me a Christmas present after nagging me to point out things I liked. It was hard to find a balance between something not so cheap they’d be offended and not so expensive I couldn’t live with myself. I think I managed it. We went for a drink and in Mujo’s case a cake each, huge and sticky in John’s case. Then at about 3.30 pm we said goodbye and Mike and I made our way home. This time driving to Glan Conwy and taking the expressway. The day was taking it’s toll on me and I was half nodding most of the way. Everytime my head dropped I’d wake up again and it must have been funny hearing me trying to continue any conversation where I’d left off. We got home a little after 4.30 pm and dashed in to see the final day of the week’s antique hunt. At 5.15 pm I excused myself and came through to find over 200 messages from the almost 8 hours I’d been missing from the screen. I had to work like heck until 6.30 pm when I went for a shower after Mike had washed my hair then he took my place in the shower while I went to make something to eat. I sat with him until 8.00 pm then unable to contain myself longer dashed back in here to carry on battling. It’s ben a hard slog but I’ve broken the back of it now.

Reuben’s new shoes that light up as he walks..

More new shoes.

 

Saturday.

You may think me idle in comparison to my usual recorded times but I didn’t get up until 5.57 am today. I turned my light off last night just before 1.00 am and must have fallen asleep fairly quickly. For some reason ( probably in a bottle labelled MAX) my bladder hadn’t and decided to wake me none too gently at 1.50 am. On going to the loo I found Mike was still up watching TV ( Heaven help him at 7.00 am) and then I had to have a cigarette because I couldn’t nod off again. When I did get up my bladder was still ready to remind me who’s boss in our partnership and help me pass the equivalent of the Thames. I was surprised Mike didn’t wake up screaming “Man the lifeboats, women and children first.”

I made a start on the mail and have now decided to hang a notice from the screen to the effect that there’s a vicious dog here to keep the postman from delivering any more. It’s not even the idiot frauds anymore since I can generally just dispose of those to the waste bin without reading, it’ some retweets of tweets that have me puzzled. Do I keep thanking/answering the person who wrote the original tweet, do I write and thank anyone from the original tweet who now answers it and includes me or do I thank the person who did the retweet for doing so even though it’s not my tweet they’re retweeting. I’m all of a twitter now.

At 6.45 I strolled through to the kitchen to clear my head. I turned the main light on an went over to the tank and put that light on too. My pal Big Al stayed near the front watching me and seemingly listening as I spoke to him. I think the war is over. If not, at least a truce is in place and I don’t think it serves any purpose to count up the battles won and lost do you? I was also fortunate to see all three of the plecs. Everyone survives. I came over all warm and wondered whether I should change my hopes of letting them pass on and putting the tank out of commission or adding a few more fish for colour. Wimp ! I took my meds and made myself a coffee. Before I could take it back to my room Mike’s alarm went off. With a plaintive sigh I made a drink, took it through, placed it on a bedside table and informed him it was there for which I was rewarded with s aeries of unintelligible grunts. I returned to the kitchen and emptied the rubbish bin and the food waste bin, collected the waste bin from my room which went into the big bin bag, saw to the ash trays and took the rubbish out ready for collection.

Coming back in I saw Mike had turned over and gone straight back to sleep as expected and he’d turned his alarm off altogether. Never one to shy away from a challenge I gathered my deepest voice from the soles of my boots and growled ” Don’t forget your coffee, it’s going cold.” You can add the Welsh accent if you can imagine it. Mike shot up in bed and said “YesrightOK, I’ll turn the music off now.” If anything it was a dead cert it was Queen he was listening to in that little head of his and since I couldn’t share it I had no sympathy for him having to turn it off. He did even turn over properly and go towards his drink. Job done ! I went back to the kitchen to claim mine and take it through to my bedroom to do a few extra messages and then to get dressed.

I know some of my readers are of the gentle sex so I suggest at this point you sit down as I don’t want to shock you. I know also that some may mock and suggest I’ve started writing Christmas fairy stories but I promise this is true. Mike was dressed and ready to leave by 7.40 am and we were at the Supermarket by one minute past eight of the clock. So, what d’you think of that then. Yes, Amazing Stories made an offer for the sole publication but I wanted to disseminate it as widely as possible. One the way out to the car he even cracked a joke and claimed to be awake. None of the cash machines contained money this morning though one lied and said it contained only £50 notes. I had to use my card and ask for cashback. We actually managed to whiz round the shop this morning as I wasn’t concentrating too much on food. I wanted to start buying my selection boxes and a few other things which did include mince pies. We had time for a nice coffee afterwards, well a coffee anyway.

Once the car was packed we took the road to Flint. Actually it was already going there so we gave it a lift. Mike was pleased to be able to pull into a parking bay in front of Temptations. He was really upset a few weeks ago when someone else used his bay. Typical Mike he had to dash off to unload his bladder despite the sign saying the loos are for customers only. We won’t be customers for half an hour yet, some people have no patience. I took a very slow walk in the direction of my favourite shop until he caught up. I found a few stocking presents there and Mike found a tape measure he wanted. We were going to walk down to my next favourite shop when Mike detoured me into the pet shop first to look at the fish. There were some really nice ones in from glass fish to Siamese fighting fish of which I could only have more than one if they were female. There were even some quite small Big Al’s and a lovely red tipped shark I quite fancied. Even the weather loach looked good. Maybe I know too many politicians but I’m quite happy with bottom feeders. Because I knew we were going for a drink to torment Ceri soon, I managed to come out empty handed. We did get to my second favourite shop next where I picked up a few more gifts and a jar of sweets for The Ivy later.

Next stop Temptations where Mike teased Ceri about her love life and suggested she’d be better off with him and he wouldn’t even move in with her ( her fiance just has). He teased Kyle about his hair while at least Kyle still has some and we drank our coffee one of which was free today thanks to our loyalty card. Mike thinks it’s like being paid to come in and terrorise the staff. Once we’d finished we left, had a quick peek in the shop next door and then headed towards home. Since we had no frozen food Mike suggested we bypass home and carry on to the Ivy. I was happy to do that. It was fairly busy in there and Tariq, Angela and Rob were all on the counter as we walked in. I put the jar of sweets on the counter and went to slip my jacket off at our table. As soon as Tariq had finished serving he came for a hug and dragged us off to look at the frame he’s done on one of Mike’s pictures. His supplies hadn’t arrived in time to do the second one. The frame was really nice and set the picture off well. Mike was pleased which was good. As we went back to the table Tariq went to make our drinks while Mike and I decided what to have. I went for a beef and mushroom panini. It should have had melted cheese and horseradish sauce but I asked for those to be left off. Mike had some sticky ribs in a BBQ sauce which he enjoyed. We managed to talk to Angie a bit and just a quick hello to Rob.

Lunch over we had our hugs goodbye and headed for home. It was getting on for 3.00 pm before we made it. I quickly put away the shopping. Mike answered the door to the post van and brought in 3 parcels I’ve been waiting for. Then it was time to attack the post. OMG 182 since I went out. By 6.00 pm I was down to 20 but had to take a break. It was time for TV. I stayed with Mike until 8.30 pm just after an excellent programme on William Marshall who is credited with perhaps being the original Knight or Chevalier always living up to the code of conduct and being a prime mover in Magna Carta. Fascinating stuff on a man who served 4 different monarchs. But, as 8.30 came I had to return to work. I’ve taken a break from messages to see to the blog and will return to it soon.

My eldest grandson Danny and his girlfriend Stacey.

My youngest grandson, smart boy. Gets more like his pops every day. lol

Have a Great New Week everyone. Hugs Galore.