Somnos Plays & Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow.

Sunday.02.11.2014

Back on track this morning at 4.22 am. I realised I’d forgotten my running shoes so went back home.-Boom, Boom. Mike tells me I blame him far too much for things on the blog so I want to make something quite clear this morning. It wasn’t his fault I couldn’t get back to sleep, it was the fault of his snoring. See Mike, I’m ready to apologise and apportion the blame properly. I’m sure you’ve seen films like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where something is triggered and the walls of the room start to close in on you. If you enter Mike’s bedroom you’d be praying for him to exhale before you were crushed.

After refilling Niagara Falls I turned the computer on. It was really nice to see last night’s blog had so many likes and wonderful comments too from my friends. I do appreciate you all. The other blog is oddly quiet so I sense that people must think it’s a pipe dream with no chance of succeeding. I’ll keep on trying though as one day people may have had enough and the ranks may swell. Two idiot messages this morning but I just deleted them, they’re not even a challenge any more. One though did say I needed to get in touch to find out what major event would happen in my life in the next 5 weeks. I had to stop myself laughing out loud because it must be 5 weeks since the first one of those messages and the major event for that period hasn’t happened yet. Not even £10 on the lottery.

I worked till 7.00 am and took a break. Big Al was still passive and the plecs looked like they were glued on the sides of the tank. I couldn’t help but think the place was lacking a bit of colour. Big Al can’t be everywhere at once. I know I said I was going to let the tank run down but perhaps just a few more fish for a little longer. I had my meds and made my coffee which as usual I took through. I spent some time on Ebay looking for Christmas stocking ideas but found nothing inspirational. all the while keeping on top of my mail. As things slowed I got washed and dressed so the bathroom would be free for Mike. Not that I ever charged him much anyway.

He got up at 9.30 am so couldn’t moan at me for not giving him a lie in. One of these weeks though if the weather stays like this I’m going to upset him and suggest a car boot sale. I made him a coffee and sat in the lounge with him as he attached pins to his eyelids  and with small strings thrown over his head proceeded to pull them open. There was an almighty groan as the daylight penetrated and he started to  wake. The first thing he did? Turn the laptop on and go straight to Ebay to see the latest watch he’s bidding in. It’s due to have finished at 8.00 pm today and he couldn’t decide how much he wanted it. Plus, as he’s likely to be travelling at that time, should he let me deal with the final bids up to his top limit for him. I offered to do just that.  Secretly I was hoping he wouldn’t go further with this one though which I’ll explain presently.

About 11.00 am he told me to get dressed (?) ready to go out. When I pointed out the clothes I was wearing he said “Oh yes, it must have been me I meant” which is an indication of the gibberish I’ve been dealing with this last week. When we were ready he ran me to Flint and to Jolley’s the pet shop to look at fish again. When we got back afterwards I welcomes to the tank two Siamese fighting fish ( female) Morecambe-Purple and Wise-Dark red. Also Sharkey a raspberry tipped  albino shark and a Little Al. We left them in bags to adjust to the heat of the tank then after half an hour added some tank water to the bags before going out for lunch. I’ve made mention of Abakhan before where they deal with materials of all kinds, tiaras, wools and crafting goods. They have a nice new cafe there and though we’ve been there a few times this would be the first time for a Sunday lunch. We both felt it was a little on the mean side which judging from our waist lines is only to our benefit, but the food itself was very tasty. Once we’d finished it was straight back home to let the new fish into the tank. Sharkey hid as his kind is wont to do and Little Al latched onto Big Al and chased him round the tank. I think he wants his mummy. The fighting fish were fine and just swam round unconcerned by any activity.

Beautiful fish. The effect of the tail out when the Siamese fighting fish is swimming is great. This is not Sharkey since he’s albino but that’s just a bit paler than the one above and the tips rather than full fin are coloured in a more raspberry shade.

Once that job was done I got Mike to sit a minute while I told him I was worried about his birthday gift. If he didn’t come next weekend because his daughter is over from Poland he’d have to wait another week for it. Wouldn’t he please consider taking it home with him. He explained he wanted me to see his reaction on opening it which was nice. I was also a bit worried that the watch he wanted to bid on was quite similar to the watch I’d bought him. We settled that he’s open it today but save his card for the actual day. He was very appreciative. I knew he wanted one in a rose gold colour and this one was actually gold plated, a moon phase, day/date automatic. He did seem pleased as he actually cancelled his interest in the one online. Then it was time for him to leave and go to visit his father before heading home tonight. I had a message at 11.00 pm to say he was home safely. As for me, it’s back to the mail now.

Monday.

This was  a 4.11 am morning. It was also the morning of the great flood when I went to the loo. I seemed to pass so much fluid I was looking out for the ark or at the very least a bird with an olive branch overhead. I really don’t remember drinking a bath full last night. By the time I got back to my bedroom Microsoft had another two releases out. Windows 10 now. There was a fair bit of mail but not enough to have me in a panic. It would be slow but steady first thing. Time enough to comment on other blogs and time to read blogs mentioned by others that I’m not currently following. I sometimes find new blogs to follow and sometimes gain new followers in return.

At 6.45 am I found myself trying to tattoo my forehead again and waking up with a start. I decided to finish off the batch of mail I was on and then go through to make a coffee to wake myself a bit. It wouldn’t do to go back to bed and then have the cleaner walk in on me and have to give instructions from my bed. Anyway, first off I went to the kitchen and turned the overhead light on and then the tank light. I could see Big Al straight away and I’m not sure he looked on me too kindly. The company I’d hoped to give him with Little Al seems to have backfired a bit as it now looks like Mary and a little lamb following on. The plecs seemed happy and the two fighters were looking bright and enjoying the space. The only one I couldn’t see at first was Sharkey who is by nature very shy and had insinuated himself into the smallest gap between the glass and the pump. I could see he was breathing and just hoped maybe he’d come out and grab a bit of the food I was putting in.

I decided to have some breakfast myself this morning and settled on a small box of cornflakes. It means that tea is optional later and I won’t need tablets with it if I do. Once the cornflakes were don I took all my meds and made a decaffeinated coffee to take back with me. Maybe that was a silly thing to do as it didn’t help with trying to stay upright with open eyes.I was just fading then jerking myself back and wondering where I was up to. As it was almost 8.00 am and Pauline was due at 8.30 am it was too late to take a different tack. I struggled on, sure I could manage 2 hours and then collapse onto the bed.

8.30 am came and went as did 8.45 am just then the door opened and in came Pauline bright and breezy with the warm weather outside. We exchanged hellos and then she headed off in the direction of the kitchen where I thought he’d start the ironing as suggested last week. Instead I heard the sound of dusting. Or rather I heard the sound of things clinking together as the dusting was done. My fingers were crossed for no breakages. Then there was some hoovering until at 9.45 she asked If I’d like some ironing doing. I said that would be great. Two shirts and a pair of pajama bottoms later it was 10.15 am and she was ready to move on to her next job. She’s promised to be early next week which is good as I don’t think an hour and a half’s work is the bargain made. Once she’d gone I was on my second wind and didn’t need to jump into bed. I carried on working until 11.30 am with a break when the postman came and delivered some CD’s I’d ordered for Christmas. There was also an envelope full of Christmas cards pained by those artists who paint by mouth or by foot. I refuse to call them foot and mouth artists to entertain you uncouth lot. They want me to buy 10 cards for £7.50 which I confess I find quite steep. I’ll have to think on it as I’ve already ordered a batch of my own cards for this year.

At 11.30 am I started on my lunch and at 12.00 pm settled down in the chair to enjoy it. Wen I’d finished I took the plate through for washing and came to watch the rest of Bargain Hunt. I lasted about 10 minutes before I was lightly sighing in the chair ( get that Mike? Lightly sighing!) I didn’t wake again until almost 2.00 pm when I saw Doctors was on and I wondered where Ju was. I turned the TV off and came through to start work again. I was determined to finish in time to watch (fully) an antique programme at 4.30 pm. I was just five minutes late for the start. It was a good show. During the break I made a sandwich then watched Flog It, Eggheads and The Big Bang Theory before decamping to the computer for the night. Lots of mail in as usual and I have to get as much done as possible so there’s a breathing space tomorrow when I go to see Yvonne and Reuben.

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday.

I imagine a young god sitting on the edge of a mountain somewhere in Greece just sniggering. He obeyed all the rules last night for a Trainee god of sleep by helping me drift away when my light went off about 12.30 am. His fun came this morning when he woke me at 3.10 am and muttered “That’s your lot pal, it didn’t come with guarantees.” You’ll have to imagine the Greek accent of course. Once he had me awake and up he could nip down to the staff canteen for a pot of Greek yoghurt  or some Ambrosia. He, lets call him Little Somnos, though I can think of more colourful names about now, thinks he has a ‘Wickid’ S.O.H.                                                                             When I pop my clogs I may just be trying for a holiday in that region but instead of open toed sandals I shall be wearing something suitably fetching in a steel toecap.

I started on the mail. Anything to take my mind off the time even though I knew I wanted time to clear up before I went out. There was a message from my pet psychic again which was titled, Urgent, Read Me Before You Go Out. I was tempted to sit there puzzling about how she knew I was going out today until I realised that in the normal world people go out most days so there was a 95% probability I would be…or so she thought. For entertainment value I opened it but it was only another reminder that I should contact her to find out what the next three weeks holds for me and no prediction that my bus would be breaking down halfway up a mountain in a snowstorm. Mind you, in another month even that was an almost certainty. I disposed of it disappointed.

At 6.00 am I went through to the kitchen to feed the fish and like a little god myself, make their day by putting the light on. The plecs were lying in the open and I could see one of the assassins crawling across the tank floor.I bet that’s painful with all those sharp little stones. I can’t see hide nor hair of the other one nor of an empty shell somewhere. Morecambe and Wise were swimming about happily ignoring each other and each little spurt opened out their glorious tails. Big Al was doing a runner to avoid the attention of Little Al who obviously can’t take a hint. Of Sharkey there was no sign again but I’m patient. I dropped some food in and turned away to get my meds. It’s amazing how boring the life of the gods can be. The routine goes like this, I take both my sprays then three quarters fill my mug with milk. This morning because I was having breakfast I took a pre-meal diabetic one first. Then bravely I down six in one with a good swallow of milk and hope they stay down. Mike laughs at me because I keep the milk long enough to turn to yoghurt as I try to swallow. Then in turn I take one each of two huge painkillers with a swallow of milk, again taking ages before I find the right moment just to swallow. It’s lucky when he’s here there’s no chance he’d be up to see me take this first lot. What’s left of the milk in the mug is now the basis for my coffee. And the coffee is used to take the two post-meal tablets which are also torpedo sized and taken one at a time. I had a cigarette to time having my cornflakes.

The coffee came back with me to my room. It was time to get dressed ready for going out. It wasn’t raining and the forecast is for sunshine until late afternoon from about 9.00 am. I thought I’d risk a sports jacket with a waistcoat underneath. By 7.15 am I was as up to date as possible and had time to make a new post on the Buthidars before letting the computer rest. At 7.30 am I went out for the bus.The sunshine hadn’t arrived yet and I was bloody freezing. Typically the bus arrived at the stop a I did so I had a hill to walk up.  The driver wished me good morning and commented how unusual i was that no-one was waiting at the stop. Either he couldn’t really see me or he meant other than me as there are generally a few more. I was grateful for him closing the door and driving off. We were halfway up the hill when…………nothing happened. No breakdown and no snowstorm. When we got to Holywell, I sent Yvonne a text to let her know I was on the bus then I rested my chin on my crutches and went to sleep. Crutches I said, I’m not a circus performer.

Obviously I woke up every time we hit a pothole so that was most of the time. These days we have so many there are even potholers climbing down them. People try to avoid them and drive like they’re drunk. Weaving across the road so that the oncoming traffic fears a crash. The surgeries are full of drivers with white finger syndrome. I was awake as we arrived at my stop in Chester at 8.45 am but there was no sign of Yvonne. I got a text to say Reuben had decided to fill his nappy as they were about to depart and she was running down the road to meet me now. I was glad as the sun was still now out and I was flipping cold. Five minutes later and I saw them in the distance waving like crazy. I checked behind just in case there was a building about to fall on me but it was just a hello wave. Reuben was about 6 feet away when he spotted me and broke into a grin. I was hoping it wasn’t because he was planning his moves for the day. We hugged and Reuben got a hold on one of my crutches which made walking a little hard. I suggested coffee.

Yvonne needed socks for Reuben so we went into a clothes shop that has a cafe upstairs. I nipped to the loo to chip off some icicles while Yvonne ordered a hot drink. I got my first proper hug from Reuben a he sat in a chair next to me. We had coffee and toast while Reuben had Weetabix and some toast which decorated the floor when he’d had enough. Then we went shopping. As usual she point blank refused a new coat but I’m going to go ahead anyway. I did manage to get her a couple of hats though and for some reason an owl cruet. We got Reuben’s socks and left for the next shop. Here I was lucky enough to fulfill some of my Christmas stocking needs. Things are really going great now.I think all my major gifts are taken care of, or I hope they will be if I get lucky on Ebay this afternoon. Just my gifts for abroad to deal with then. The next shop was a favourite and I picked up a fretwork wooden Christmas tree made up of words for Yvonne. Then it was time for another wee since my bladder was defrosting a bit. I went down in the lift leaving the two of them hovering upstairs on the ground floor waiting for me. I came back up on the escalator to surprise them and instead was nearly surprised by falling over as it moved faster than expected.

Another drink then and I opted for a crushed ice drink of lemon which Yvonne copied. Very refreshing and such a delight to see Reuben’s face when he demanded to try it. Fair play, he might have scrunched hi face up but he didn’t let it put him off. The only bugbear was he pile of ice he was accumulating in Yvonne’s lap as he didn’t like that.

Yvonne says this is the look of love. I think it’s the look of mischief.

 

 

 

 

Those gingerbread men don’t stand a chance.

It was time for the playground next. Reuben had been very patient with us so far but there’s only so much shopping a boy can take. Because it had rained early the slide was off the menu but he had the time of his life on the swings which he loves.

Soon enough it was time for us to say goodbye. I needed to catch the Ebay special home and Yvonne needed to get ready for work while Reuben had a nap. I caught the 1.00 pm and was at my home stop by 2.00 pm.A quick nip into Pauline’s and then home. It was nice to be home though I wasn’t thrilled with 208 messages waiting. I was still OK with Ebay which was due to finish at 3.45 pm. The messages were a priority so they were the first thing to be tackled. One thing that delighted me was that my friend Sally had kindly re-blogged my piece from the Buthidars and today there were lots of likes from people who’ve not been there previously. Some even started following that blog. Maybe the mood of the World is moving in a new direction….I wish. At 3.40 pm I went back to Ebay and poised myself for a battle before the item closed, I put in the amount I was willing to pay and then waited poised like a statue until the last ten seconds when I pressed the offer. I won, not just because of my immaculate timing but because no-one bid against me.

Back to the mail until 4.30 pm when I went to watch my antique show . I made myself a Big Soup which was actually beef stew and dumplings. There was a back taste I can’t identify which put me off having it again and then I had a chocolate cake. I must have nodded off just before the end of the show as I didn’t see who won this leg and I didn’t wake up until 6.05 pm. I wasn’t going to hang round for the quizzes today so it was back to work straight away.  I’m as up to date as I can be and it’s now 11.35 pm and about time to turn in. I hope Little Somnos isn’t on duty tonight.

Just to show I do listen to some modern music too. I don’t know why this one caught my imagination.

Wednesday.

3.44 am saw me hopping round the last square foot of floor space in my bedroom with cramp in my calf. No dear, I’m not running a dairy farm, I mean the calf in my leg. The left leg as it happens which is lucky as my right leg is definitely stronger. Well, this knocks Mike’s theory on the head that I get cramp from too much salt, I haven’t had a bag of crisps this morning yet. I hopped round to the computer and bending down carefully turned it on before I proceeded to hop along the passage way to the loo. This was not an easy job today as my left hand was supporting me on the wall as my right hand massaged the offending calf. Well, the rest you’ll have to imagine for yourselves. The pain eased off and I was able to walk albeit haltingly back to the bedroom. I had at that point finished using the loo and had washed my hands. You know, a light bulb has just gone off in my head. If I’d sat down on the loo I’d have managed so much better. AC Flory often says she has to do my thinking for me.

The post from last night and the early hours has been heavy and seems to be coming in without a break so it’s all I can do to hold my own. ( Now now missus, behave yourself.) I worked solidly through until 7.00 am when it was time to go through to the kitchen.  After putting the main light on so I could see, I put the tank light on so the fish could see. Like two pretty flags in the breeze ( waxing lyrical now) the fighters swam gently round the middle of the tank. The plecs lay unmoving on the bottom. Big Al was dashing back and forth and side to side only stopping once when close to me for a quick glare, but was soon on his way again hotly pursued by Little Al.  Of Sharkey there was no sign but I was expecting that and wasn’t worried. I put some food in and went to concentrate on my tablets. How I could miss a mouth the size of mine I don’t know but I threw one past my head and onto the floor. I had a drink of milk and swallowed the others before looking for the escapee. I saw it and picked it up which had me looking in the direction of the tank again. Big Al had come to a stop in his corner right on top of a plec. Little Al came and settled down beside him. The plec not knowing what the heck was going on had to wriggle out from underneath. It was then I saw Sharkey’s nose just peeping out from inside a sunken galleon before nipping out and grabbing some nosh.

I took my drink back to the bedroom and carried on working. Time just seemed to fly by. At some point I got dressed even though I wasn’t going out. Most of the mail was pretty good until we’d passed 11.00 am. First came….. You’ll be surprised to hear what your future holds Wed, 05 Nov 2014 from Humanic web. I thought she was never going to bother me again if I didn’t answer her. Anyway, a Humanic web might hold a spider so I had no problem getting rid of that . I wasn’t many more messages along when the next one came…… Need your urgent respons …..Barakis Nooman to you.  It seems Barack Obama sorry,Barakis Nooman is writing from the Ivory Coast. She is Congolaise while her deceased husband ( we know where this is going don’t we) was French. Long story short-….there’s $5.5 m in an account for children she’ll never have now. 30% is mine if I will distribute the rest to charity homes and the less privileged of the world, like there aren’t any of those in the Ivory Coast. I’m afraid this also went the way of the bin. I knocked off at 11.30 to start on my lunch which today was a lamb hock and some Colcannon potatoes. I hung around to watch my antiques programme which ended at 1.00 pm. Unfortunately I must have nodded off about ten to the hour and missed the end ( again). I woke at 1.48 pm just after Doctors had started. A good enough reason to get back to work.

I’d no sooner started back than I received a new message……. Eventually did I find you again DAVID ….Zora to you. Intrigued I opened it. What a pillock. This is from someone calling herself Zoradamus who’s had a revelation about me and wants to offer me a free clairvoyance. Probably I’ve had bad experiences from other fraudulent astrologers on the net but she’s the real deal. My name appeared in a subconscious vision, well, I’ll let her tell you herself…….                                                                                        How do I know you, DAVID ?

No doubt you’re saying to yourself «it’s anather scam, I won’t answer… ». However it’s a genuine proposal. Think hard, how do you think I know you?
Quite simply because I’ve had a revelation about you and your name appeared to me in my subconscious vision. The hardest thing was to find you, and for this I used numerous search methods. Moreover in the course of these searches I learned that you’ve already called on clairvoyants, mediums and other so-called professional before and have generally been disappointed…
Don’t confuse me with them because I’m here only with the aim of making your life better. I want to become your personal astral adviser and I swear to you that ill put all my power at your disposal so that you obtain what you have wanted for a long time…  ( Oh yeah? )         By this time I was almost asleep again so it followed the other messages to the bin. My advice, If I suddenly start invading their brains like this, they should just tell me to beggar off and they should ignore me like I’ll ignore them.

I worked till 4.30 pm and was really getting up to date but I wanted to see day 3 of Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is- antique challenge. Then I needed some tea before the gang arrive. I only just made it. I finished two rounds of toast and put my plate in the sink when Dil and Matt arrived. I made their drinks and let them see the end of the quiz that had come on before getting the games table out. We had six lines of Yahtzee and somehow we all won two each. Then came the Nomination which was quite a struggle ,especially as I wasn’t doing the scoring, but I think Matt ended up winning because he was doing the scoring. Lastly was Crazy 8’s  which I did win while Matt got hammered because I did the scoring in this one. It’s always a blow when 9.30 comes and they have to go . Dil always thanks me though it’s me who owes him the thanks for coming out so far after work, and Matt for giving up an evening to come. I tidied up and washed the pots, took my evening meds and came through. What a blow. Emails by the boatload and for some reason quite a few new ones. I had to stop at 11.30 to start the blog. It’ now 12.30 am and I don’t feel like going back to it tonight so I’m going to try and get some sleep soon.

PS. So honoured to have received an invitation to a wedding today from India. I wish Ratandeep Singh and his wife every happiness on Nov 15th. He’s a wonderful poet and I’m privileged to call him Friend.

Thursday.

Bizarre. I didn’t get to bed until 1.00 am and was determined to read at least a chapter before my eyes closed. What was difficult was getting my eyes to close despite being tired. I turned the light out at 1.35 am and tried laying there. At some point I slept. At 3.07 I was awake again. I said “Not a chance” and snuggled down again. I next came to at 6.45 am. Of course I could see that it was a lot lighter outside than usual an I panicked. No point in getting under Big Al’s skin once again. I literally flew to the bathroom ( Pan-Am in case you’re interested) and relieved the bladder that gave every indication that I was having an elephant’s pregnancy and carrying the herd. It took a while. From there I went straight to the kitchen and it was just touching 6.55 am. I was safe. Both lights went on and as the tank one flickered to life I could see Sharkey was already out investigating the terrain. Maybe the stories of the four second memory are true and he sees the terrain afresh all the time. Two of the plecs were stretched out on the glass which fascinates me as they appear see-through like that. Of course one of them may just be flat from being under Big Al yesterday. I couldn’t see the third but he was about somewhere. The fighters were waiting for breakfast- bang goes the four second theory-and flashing me their tails so I’d call them beautiful. Little Al was in the race of his life against himself  as he’d seen his refection in the glass and Big Al was in his corner near the front watching every move I made. I put food in the top but Big Ala’s eyes didn’t deviate from their target at all. It was quite unnerving.

Having survived the feed and my various meds I made a coffee to take back to work with me. I signed into my bank to check the account then into the lottery just to see if my account was about to get healthier. It wasn’t. I logged into Ebay to see if there were any messages from the seller of the item I won yesterday saying she was withdrawing it because she wanted more money. When I saw there were 2 messages I started to panic, and both from her. The first one told me she’d be posting out the trainers on Friday? Trainers, what trainers? The second was to apologise and say she’d sold a few items and got confused. The item I bought would be going out tomorrow with next day delivery. Fantastic, I had a huge bargain there. Finaly I logged into my Emails. I don’t know whether it was to round yesterday off or to start today but there was a message timed 00.00 and marked Confidential Letter for You which intrigued me until I opened it up. There ran the usual……. My name is Mr. Mahdi Kaamil. I am working with one of the prime banks in Burkina Faso. Here in this bank existed a dormant account for many years, which belong to one of our late foreign customer. The amount in this account stands at $13,300,000.00 (Thirteen Million Three Hundred Thousand USA Dollars). Ah well, I suppose I had missed this one yesterday so here it was to satisfy my need to press the rubbish button again. I’m sure I keep most of that region in work, not that they get paid for it of course.

I worked fairly steadily throughout the morning and actually made great progress, catching up towards about 11.00 am. I started viewing gift ideas on Ebay again for some friends abroad and by chance found just the things. It meant having to get them now though as it’s unlikely they’d be there much longer. So some people will be having Christmas in November. I only have one more to find abroad now. One coat and a few odds and sods to find for stocking presents over here.Progress has been great so far. At 11.45 am I knocked off for lunch which I kept quite light today. I watched my antiques show and stayed awake throughout going straight back to work at 1.00 pm without having to wake up first. I had an email about Yvonne’s birthday gift which should be delivered no later than Monday. When I first ordered it the bummf onscreen said up to ten days delivery, at ten days I went on to query it and it had suddenly changed to 15 days so I sent a message for them to verify it was on the way. Today it finally is.

There was plenty of mail to keep me going until 4.30 pm but I actually finished a few minutes before then. I almost put my shoulder out throwing my arm up in a victory punch and hitting the shelf where my printer is. The blue air was soon clear again as I went through to watch Put Your Money Where your Mouth Is day 4. It might have been a struggle but I actually kept my eyes open. As it was over I made some tea. Mince pies and custard, perhaps not what the diabetic clinic would suggest but all the nicer for that. I saw two more programmes and at 6.30 pm went back through to save myself for the new episode of Big Bang Theory at 8.30 pm. The first thing that faced me as I opened the screen was a notice that Java needed updating. Since I’ve had this before and done this before I saw nothing unusual or suspicious so told it to go ahead. Aaarrrggghhh, there are times I hate me and hate the computer. The download seemed to finish then a message came up about registry errors which I deleted. It came again and more. Box after advertising, annoying bloody box. I went into delete programmes and deleted the four obvious ones and the Java update all from today but it hasn’t solved the problem. While I’m doing emails if I press reply a new advert comes up for bingo, if I move o respond on twitter I get an advert showing a topless girl            ( and by topless I mean no clothes, because she certainly has a top), her advert says You Ring, We F**k. There are ads for Bingo and betting and at the moment the left side of my head is bald from me pulling my hair out by the roots. Some of these firms are huge but I’d never buy their product when they use these tactics of what amounts to home invasion. On the other hand, I do have a new hairstyle at least.

In between removing these ads I managed to get up to date in time to go watch Big Bang. It was great and put me in a great mood. A pity no-one gets the advantage of it before I revert to bear with sore head again. I returned to the computer and became the bear again, I shan’t mention the sore head. Once I’m up to date again I think I’ll call it a day ( a night?) and look at it fresh again in the morning.

Friday.

It was a long late night and a struggle and I still couldn’t find anywhere these damned add-ons were hiding. In the end I’d no choice but to give up before I was going to bed after it was time to get up. In the end I got up at 6.31 am. Still tired and still irritable enough to ignore Big Al after I’d been for a wee. He was swimming round in circles in the hopes of getting Little Al off his tail, I just said “Go for it Little Al”, that’s how brave I was. I left them all to it this morning an concentrated on getting my meds down my throat and then refilling all the poxy little dishes for the next round. I’m sure sometimes I must even do it right.

I brought my coffee to the bedroom and it’s here I’ve spend most of the dale making myself bald on just the one side so I can wear a cap at a jaunty angle and look as though I have hair. I did searches to try and help solve the problem and just spent so much time clicking obscuring adverts off. I was so cross I could’ve crushed a grape as  one comedian used to say. In between I was going into gmail to try and keep up but it’s a problem that it’s not my main email base and doesn’t get them all. I went to talktalk but could not get into the normal mail session and had to sign into an older version that’s slower and you have to keep running to the top of the page to delete anything you’ve dealt with. The only break I got was when the postman came and delivered what he called a box of lead. It turned out to be a box of jewellery boxes for watches and bracelets. They were heavy too. I also received an attachment for holding the airpump to the wall of the tank which I’d ordered from the Isle of Man, and my Christmas cards. They’re a little different this year but I hope they’ll go down well.

At lunch time I was glad of the break from the screen. The adverts and the pleas to download things to speed the computer, de-gunk the computer or to make it sing and dance were getting to me as much as the general adverts. The adverts were popping up and down like tin cans at a rifle booth on the fairground. Wouldn’t I like a rifle right about now. For speed’s sake I made a quick pizza and chips which as usual I ate in front of the TV. Funny, the TV never gets jealous though. Once the last item had gone through the auction and I knew who’d won I came back to work. Back up a second, before anyone accuses me of being a bigger slob than I am, I did wash the pots first. The mail was still my priority as it was still coming in. I had to break off when the warden came to make sure I was still alive but that didn’t take too long. A I started getting closer to catch-up on the gmail I decided to have one last go at solving the problem. I did another quite specific search for help with add-ons on Windows Vista, I followed all the directions and found nothing where I was supposed to go but bizarrely I did find a link to some downloads and one of them looked promising. I tried it and the ads seem to have stopped. The talktalk problem didn’t seem to have resolved itself straight away but the ads had stopped, yes those damned ads had stopped, ceased, were no longer coming. Yippee.

After clearing the gmail box I thought I’d better sign back into talktalk slow version and at least try and clear some of those. Lo and behold, the normal version sign on came up and when I tried I got access. By the time 4.30 pm arrived I was beaming from ear to ear. “Where to where” you ask? “There to there” says I. I was able to go and watch the final night of my Antique battle of wits, a second antiques show and Eggheads before celebrating with my bi-annual shower. Is that twice a year or once every two years? When I came out I checked my phone for any messages ( I got dressed first just in case) but nothing from Mike. It’s possible he’s not coming this weekend. I’ll give him time in case he’s on the way. I was able to carry on working quite cheerfully and have been up to date a couple of times since then. At 9.15 am I sent Mike a text to see if he was OK and received one back “Lesbing (?) Rugby in 15 mins, refuelling and be there about midnight.  That’s not too long to wait then so I’d better prepare his mug, the Chauffeur one.  He arrived at midnight and we chatted for an hour before heading for our rooms. I didn’t even read.

Saturday.

OK, not too many viable excuses for the time this morning. It was 5.02 when my laggardly self got out of bed. Naturally I went with speed to the bathroom , speed had to wait it’s turn, I was first and I was desperate. Coming back I’d have slowed down considerably if it hadn’t been for worry about mail and how much time I’d lose today. But first, the lottery results just to put me in a black mood with little bolts of lightning forming above my head. When will those fools learn to pick the right numbers, by which I mean my numbers of course? I started on the mail. It was good, no problems, not too much stupidity. Nigeria and Burkino Faso must still be asleep. At 6.00 am I went through to the kitchen. The light in the tank showed me all was well with Morecambe and Wise, The pleks seemed happy enough in their little conclave, Sharkey stuck his head out, looked around and joined the throng and Little Al was like a flea on heat just bouncing around from place to place. Big Al on the other hand had me stumped, was that a look of hate he directed at me or mayhap it was a plea since there was an air of defeat about him.  I do believe his new boon companion is rather less boon than I’d hoped and he appears to be running Big Al ragged with his attentions. I wonder whether I’ve made a mistake and maybe it’s Little Alice chasing the big man? Don’t say anything but I do feel sorry for him, he’s had things his own way up till now.

Medications out of he way I took my drink back to carry on working. It was a bit of a surprise when I heard Mike’s alarm go off so I gathered he intended to go shopping with me. I made a coffee and took it through. By that time Mike’s intentions seemed to have changed but I let him know it was there anyway. He did acknowledge me so I left him to it. By twenty five past it became obvious that he’d turned the alarm off altogether and it wouldn’t ring a second time. A little louder I reminded him the drink was still there there and might be going cold. I went off and started getting the bins ready to go out and came back to find him up. While he came to, drank the coffee and then got himself ready I went back to work and made great progress. We were late out and didn’t reach Asda until 8.15 am. I raided the cash machine while Mike got the bags out of the boot and found a trolley then we headed indoors.

Mike started feeling ill which is not the effect shopping usually has on him so I walked him to the loo and started the shopping while he sorted his stomach out. It wasn’t too long before he joined me which only proves he doesn’t trust me on my own. We sauntered around an found a pair of trainers he needed since his others were wet through from yesterday and we had a ball in the sweetie aisle. Otherwise we concentrated fairly well. His stomach seemed to be holding up well. We had a coffee, I bought Yvonne an extra birthday gift I think she’ll appreciate and then we packed the car and left. ( after a cigarette of course). In Flint Mike was indignant that someone was using his parking place until I pointed out we were a little late and perhaps they thought we weren’t coming. I wouldn’t let him ram their car out so we found another space and set off shopping. He sulked till we reached the first shop but brightened up when we started putting things in the basket. We fairly zipped round there then headed for the second shop where we knew what we were going for and didn’t deviate, mainly because we both needed the loo now. We headed for Temptations where I ordered the drinks, passed the chocolates and the money over and then disappeared. Mike kindly let me go first and didn’t put up his usual fight. That was probably because he was chatting to Ceri already.

I came out of the loo as Mike was putting the drinks on the table. I saw Ceri and had a quick word in her shell-like and reminded her of the Ginormous birthday of this week and just possibly suggested she stuck a candle in his teasted toecake. I sat at the table and started my drink leaving  my aged bro in ignorance unto Ceri brought him a big balloon tied to a little cappuccino mug with Special Person written on it. I wish she wouldn’t encourage him, there was also a tin of mints for memory problems in old age. Boy did I get a look. Why me???? Two minutes later and she reappeared with his toasted teacake with a candle stuck in it and sang Happy Birthday to him. I had problems keeping a straight face. I went outside for a ciggie and left them to chat a little more. When he came out we headed for home.

Mike unpacked the bags and I put the shopping away then came back to work for a while until Mike was ready to eat. There hadn’t been any post but a knock came at the door and I thought it was Bert with a parcel. Instead it was a courier with a parcel which turned out to be Yvonne’s Birthday present. I can’t give clues as she reads the blog in order to find out what I’ve been up to. She says I tell her nothing, I say I’ve nothing to tell. She’s worse than me and has spies everywhere so, You’ll just have to wait a few weeks Sweetie. I must have worked till gone 1.00 pm before Mike came through to see what I wanted to do. I said I was waiting for him to decide, he said he’s been waiting for me. We both got our coats on and set off. When we arrived at the Ivy Tariq came with welcome hugs then showed us what he’s done with the Dali posters of Mike’s. They’d both been framed beautifully and though they were the same size, one had a border and one did not so Tariq had left them that way so the frames matched in size. I”m sure it won’t matter as they’ll be on opposing walls. As we went back out Angie mouthed hello and asked “Drinks”? She was with customers so I mouthed “Yes please”? As it happened Tariq reappeared at that moment and made them.

There was a discussion as regards lunch and I was undecided today. Bacon or a hotpot? Mike was having the hotpot and ended up tossing a coin for me. I lost. I had the bacon sandwiches. When the meals came the hotpot looked glorious but he wouldn’t swap. Shells says she’ll make sure it’s on tomorrow and there’s some for me. I wonder if I have any pickled red cabbage? We enjoyed the food and also the poke round in Tariq’s workroom as he showed us some projects he has on. He’s never still and is a real craftsman.

We left about 3.15 pm and came straight home as by now I was really panicking about the mail. I started work straight away and Mike settled to watch some football. I had a break from 6.0o pm to 9.00 pm which also gave me time to make tea or in my case eat two doughnuts. I know it was wrong but if it makes you feel any better they were awful. Almost stale and totally devoid of any sugar. Serves me right. At 9.00 pm after Jonathan Creek I started work and haven’t left my seat since. Hows that for dedication.

I wish you all a Wonderful New Week with joy round every corner.