Following Blogs and Bloggers.

In an effort to make it clear that I try never to be rude I need to explain something. For some reason over the last couple of days I’ve had 3 new people follow my blog and I’ve found myself unable to follow them back. This is not because I doubt they’re nice people, it’s because in looking at their blog with a view to following I find that their content is mainly (or all) religion. If I follow a religious blog I stand the chance of others assuming I share or support the views held there and I don’t want that to happen as it would not be true.

I know I could follow any blog I disagree with and question everything there which I think would be discourteous. Everyone one is entitled to their opinion even if I think it is wrong. The problem is that if a blog is centered on one subject alone and allows for no balance of view, for me it becomes very one dimensional. If a subject is not open for some debate then the subject matter isn’t open to change as I think all thing must change in order to grow. If a blog has taken on all the aspects of fanaticism and pushes religion at you then I find it dangerous no matter what the religion is. I can’t claim that religion is never mentioned in my own blog but I try to keep my topics flexible and they are open to criticism by anyone who hasn’t enjoyed them- unless they are abusive which I have no tolerance of as I’m sure people would not like me to be Β abusive or disrespectful towards them.

If you’re happy to follow my blog without me reciprocating then you will be made welcome. I will try my best not to offend you with content and bad language something which I hope you will extend towards me and my other followers. Please remember that I have friends of many Nationalities and religious creed who may not appreciate a lecture on how misguided their beliefs are in the eyes of your particular deity. This is a social site and I strive to maintain a level of welcome for everyone.

Thanks for your understanding.



Filed under Uncategorized

61 responses to “Following Blogs and Bloggers.

  1. I have the same policy, David. Also on Twitter. If someone has ‘God’ in their profile, I will not follow. There’s so much out there – it’s entirely reasonable that as bloggers and writers we must filter out the messages that don’t speak to us.

  2. Here, here and well said, David πŸ˜€ I think they may well be doing the rounds as I’ve also had some new followers this week and I didn’t follow back for exactly the same reason. Hugs galore xxxxx

  3. I have a policy of not following everyone who follows me. Mainly because I simply couldn’t keep up with that many other writers but also because I don’t necessarily feel engaged with the other blogger – including for some of the reasons you mention. I don’t think you need to apologise – it’s your space after all and you should use it in a way that works for you.
    xxx big hugs xxx

    • Thank you so much. I feel guilty at not following back but I’m already overwhelmed and these particular blogs have nothing to share but religion and it’s very pushy.
      xxx Ginormous Hugs xxx

  4. Good one, David. I respect everyone’s religion but DO NOT TRY AND CHANGE ME πŸ™‚ as I once said to one of those groups that walk the streets and knock on doors carrying pamphlets of doom and gloom and eternal salvation if you do as they say: OK, I’ll take your brochure and now go away and leave me alone to chew on it πŸ™‚

  5. David, i hope everyone sees you for the intelligent, kind, and generous person that you are. If they don’t, then hit the delete key.
    Recently i read a business communications article. It said that most people “don’t listen to understand,” rather they “listen to respond” (all their thoughts on what they’ll say next, not on what the person is saying. Unfortunately i think things are worse than that. In my experience, many people don’t listen to understand — they listen to criticize or judge.
    > So — if they don’t take your words in the spirit you intended — then they weren’t listening in the first place.
    Huge hugs my friend. ❀

    • Now you’re just trying to make me blush again Teagan.
      I know some people will take the post in the spirit it’s intended while others will be calling me godless etc- which is true I suppose but those are the beliefs I’m entitled too and as long as I live my life trying to help others no-one should complain.
      As Groucho Marx once said, I wouldn’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.So, stick to your religion if you must but allow me to stick to mine.
      xxx Humongous Hugs xxx

  6. With you all the way, David.
    My best to you

  7. Good decision, I dare say. πŸ™‚

    One has to feel himself at ease and comfortable. Otherwise, what is the good in blogging?

    Take care and many hugs to Big Al as well. πŸ˜€

  8. I’ve had a recent influx of similar followers David and like you, always check the content of other blogs before following them back (although, not being perfect, I sometimes click follow by error).
    Also, like you, I try to keep religion and politics out of my blog.

    • It’s easy to make mistakes Chris and I’ve done so though I do try to check. It’s not that I try to keep them as a subject completely out of my blog, I’ve had occasion to have a little rant in the past but a diet of nothing but that is not something I need. I’d rather share fun which tends to be universal or impart a little knowledge here an there about books and their authors. A varied diet is best. You run a great cafe my friend.
      All the best. Hugs.

  9. We ascribe to the same general principles…however, we do want to point out that we never thought it to be a genuinely positive policy to do the ‘follow me and we’ll follow you’ thing…it is doing a disservice to the creators of blogs to ‘follow’ if it isn’t out of true interest or honest appreciation for that person’s efforts or content. We are relative newbies who have gradually come to understand the way things “work” here, but have always had a little ambivalence about the following thing.We will also point out that we haven’t had ANY EXTRA time to actually seek out new bloggers or to even look at the “Freshly Pressed” picks; not for many months. Heck we feel especially terrible that we can barely find the time to give to our faves like you, lately. We do notice (and feel a bit used :/ ) that we get people from the far-flung tangents (offworlders, as you may call them) that we know are shopping just to get their own stats up and they are following everybody they can find to follow. We check them out before we decide to click follow. As you may have already seen at our blog, we had to make the decision to talk about flamers, due to an inappropriate incident which made us feel awkward, at best.
    We were pretty upset and we reflected our displeasure in a tone we have never had to undertake previously. We did this because our fear is that we might be confronted again, rudely, or in an even worse scenario, such as we’ve seen our true friend-bloggers endure. In this particular case we noted upon checking out this inflammatory person, that he absolutely came to act with malice, as we saw his co-horts and his content which were blatant and replete with generally fanatical ideas and agendas to push. We steer very clear of these places as we do not wish to give our own regular visitors any doubts about the kind of folks we genuinely are. We are hoping folks find our material fun and also informative, compassionate and sincerely sensitive when called for.

    Sorry we took up so much time and space…we thought we’d just be ourselves and state our feelings about these things, since you opened the door…in truth we find it odious to have to feel any of these things should even have to be stated at all. But, we do totally ‘get’ where you are at on this stuff…cuz we are there ourselves.
    :/ Hey but we love you truly and sincerely and are so happy you found we could ‘find’ you…we wouldn’t know how to blog without you there to give us your thoughts…we’re pretty sure we have 5 or 6 truly engaged (or conscious?) readers who DO read our stuff…5 out of 550 ain’t half bad…it’s about 99% bad, πŸ˜›
    BUT it’s SOMETHING and by golly they are surely loved!

    • I generally go by the policy of following if someone follows me thinking we share similar interests but I do check the sites forst. I don’t follow blogs with a strong bad language content, a heavily sexual content and bondage/sadomasochists types but they tend to be few and far between. This current batch are not that rare and I hoped my message may give them the chance to not follow if they’re looking for a positive response.
      I’m really sorry you were flamed though I’m at least glad there was no personal abuse there. Your response was quite fair and measured I thought. Well done, it’s better to make your feelings known.
      Sending Massive Hugs and hopes for a flame free future xxx

  10. Ooops, we forgot the most important part…MASSIVE HUGE HUGS!!! Sheesh! (ok it IS 3:42 a.m. here now and we are fading, lol) XXXXX CJ and Mousie XXXXX

  11. I do not follow back everyone who follows me: if I am not going to enjoy or even read their posts, why follow?

    • Fair point Sally. I have had a tendency to look at the last post of someone who follows me. If it seems OK I have followed. Time constraints stop me going further. If I don’t like the last post or it follows one of my no follow subjects then I just leave it. Now I have so much going on I’m trying to actively discourage followers if I know their subject won’t result in a follow from me.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  12. Have had exactly the same experience in the last couple of days and follow the same policy.

  13. Great post, David! I have the same policy. I try to avoid the hot topics of religion and politics in my blog. It is dedicated to writing and I try to keep it that way. I don’t want to alienate anyone due to outside topics. I am very vocal politically on my regular Facebook page, but on my author page and other social media, I try to keep it writing related only. I have tweeted a couple of political things, but mostly I do try to avoid it. I do not follow all that follow me either. It isn’t that I am not interested, but it is more of a time constraint. Although I don’t always have time to respond, I do love your posts and appreciate your support of mine as well. Big hugs to you! πŸ™‚

    • I have to confess that I’ve been known to avoid following some authors who describe themselves as Christian Authors because the term puzzles me. Is the writer a Christian or does the writer just write on biblical subjects? I do know the answer really but perhaps it’s that I always think I’m a writer or I’m not a writer. I can understand someone labeling themselves when they’re genre specific, I’m a Science Fiction author for example but I struggle to see what ones religion has to do with the fact they write.Should only Christians read the books?
      There have been pieces of great literature like The Lion , The Witch and The Wardrobe written very much with morals in mind where the author never found the need to describe themselves thus. I think you take a big chance on alienating readers like this.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

      • I agree with you. Why should any writer limit themselves by categorizing themselves as a Christian writer. I never see anyone say they are an Atheist writer. I have many friends on both sides. I never judge because I believe that we all have the right to believe whatever we do. I do try to leave that topic alone. I have one friend on Facebook that is so religious that it is unbearable sometimes. She is also on the opposite side of the fence politically. So, she gets her back up at some of my posts. I also have other friends that agree with her, but it is an unspoken (or written) agreement that we don’t go on each other’s posts and start an argument. We agree to disagree and talk about other things. That is the way is should be. I do worry about some of my posts offending some friends and potential readers. But I was an activist on line long before I decided to get serious about writing. So, I do warn new writer friends that I am political on my page so they can decide if they want to still be friends or not. Anyway, this has been a great discussion and I’ve enjoyed reading all the comments. You have some wonderful friends, but that is because you are a wonderful friend in return. Big hugs πŸ™‚

      • Thank you Rebecca, what a wonderful thing to say.I think some people just bring out the best ( not the beast) in me.I can live with people being political as I can live with them being religious, just not all the time……… I comment on politics and unfairness. I have a go at religions once in a while when I read that a Pastor recommends hitting a child of 5 or 6 if they stand or walk in a homosexual way???????? Or another who recommended to a father than he arrange to beat up his gay daughter so it was beaten out of her?????? If that’s religion and religious leaders then I’m glad I’m out of it. I understood it was about peace and tolerance.It’s best not to get into too many arguments online so the policy between you and your friends is very sensible.
        Thank you for being so nice..and a friend.
        xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  14. Your blog, your rules, David. I agree with the comments. Hugs!

  15. I’m pleased you voiced your thoughts rather than Following. That the beauty of blogging, there are rooms for everyone. Some are not for me.
    But, I think somewhere out there in a Blogging-How-To there is advice to Follow lots of blogs and a certain proportion will follow back. But we who have true blogging community know that the number count of Followers isn’t the greatest reward or measure of success. It’s the friendships and comments that make blogging fulfilling. The best connections are fellow Commenters and if interests/thoughts are somewhat aligned, Follows follow! Sometimes this involves some “lurking”, a kind of getting to know you phase.
    The blogging world is an extension of the real world, I cannot befriend every person that nods, smiles or even makes conversation. It would be overwhelming. Like in the real world there are circles of closeness.

    • I think I’ve done my fair share of lurking and I doubt I’ll make connections similar to those I’m so close to these days. It’s become very much a community of friends that I appreciate greatly so following is no hardship and noticing when things are a little awry comes more easily.
      I still can’t help but feel an obligation though towards those who follow me, I should at least check out their blogs.
      xxx Hugs to you both xxx

  16. I do the same thing with political agenda, businesses blogs, and over the top erotic sites. The first is often intended to exploit readers, and the second (much as religious sites) are selling what I believe is sacred. I don’t think you need an excuse to decide what you want to read. You are too polite sometimes πŸ™‚

    • Old habits die hard I suppose Laine. But you’re right, at my age I should have the choice of reading matter. It’s just hard when people follow me not to respond in kind. At least it’s hard until you come across some kind of cant that should be reserved for a visit to church ratger than as a sales pitch on a blog site.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  17. This post alone is enough to make me follow you πŸ™‚ And, of course, you being a good friend of Katie and D. I do avoid following blogs that appear one-dimensional (politics, religion) or are on subjects that I have absolutely no interest in (sports). It’s not to say that those bloggers aren’t nice, interesting people, but I only have so much time in my life and I must use it wisely (which is still a challenge for me, every day). I know that some bloggers I follow do not follow me back and that it is okay with me. I don’t follow just to get followers. I follow people because I want to read what they write.

    • I’d about turn quickly then while you still can. I’m very lucky to have created quite a group of friends through following certain blogs and luckier still when those and others have followed me back. I don’t have enough hours in the day to follow and interact with everyone but some have been a lifeline since my wife died and the one dimensional sites have nothing to offer me to lift me sometimes.
      Thank you, I’m honoured you’ve chosen to follow me back especially when Katie has such a high regard for you, not to mention the D’.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx ( The reason for the Hugs )

  18. Hi David,
    It can be so tricky with posts and following blogs. I think your right to address the situation and share your thoughts with people. You have done it in a very non judgeful or hurtful way.
    I would want people to follow me because they enjoy what I write and not just because I follow them.
    Well written and kindly explained post.
    Take care of you,

  19. Hello my friend,
    I too have had an influx of followers however I confess that unless that new follower engages with me regularly then I do not go off to re-follow their blog. I generally only follow blogs that I have found through other’s posts or their comments on other blogs and then only after reading a few of their posts. I already have issues with mail so I don’t need any more that I don’t really want to read.
    As to the subject of speaking about God. I do that on occasion but put it into the context of what is going on in my life. I would like to think those few posts don’t put you off (although I am not a church going Christian).
    I am eclectic in my posting habits though. πŸ˜€

    • Nothing is going to put me off you Suz. Quite a few people believe and make mention inn their blogs occasionally. I can live with that as long as no-one tries to recruit me to their side. What I can’t tolerate is blogs which talk of nothing else and especially if they’re judgemental about others who have a different lifestyle. I’m more for live and let live.
      Your blog is just great.Don’t please let my comments put you off me.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  20. You handled that honestly and with diplomacy, David.
    I now have 14 who supposedly follow my blog, but I don’t know for sure because they never comment. Well, five have commented, but I later found their comments in the SPAM folder, and I’m glad that all five ended up there. Three were actually pornographic, and one was under the impression that “Things I Want To Tell My Mother” meant graphic porn topics he’d like to tell her.
    It’s like the rest of life: some things connect and work, and some don’t…REALLY DON’T.

    • You’d think anyone would have the common sense to look at the content of a site they follow before they follow.
      I’m pleased the 5 comments went straight to spam and I assume they were blocked straight away. Some people are weird- nasty weird.
      You’;re completely right of course, some things just don’t work. I’m glad I have the option to check out comments from new followers and have to agree them before they go on the blog.
      xxx Sending Ginormous Hugs xxx

  21. Kourtney Heintz

    I try to avoid political or religious focused blogs. They are hot buttons and I prefer to read about other topics.

  22. Hi David, I’ve been away for a week or so, and it’s so nice to be back. Blogging is a kind of home from home, isn’t it? Big hug x

  23. You know, David, I had wondered about that myself–If people would think I agree with everything expressed on a blog just because I follow it. I hope not as I follow lots and lots of blogs with such a wide variety of ideas and opinions. Some blogs I follow out of courtesy, but that doesn’t mean I ever visit them. I have recently stopped this practice, as I have been followed by some very radical and closed minded bloggers recently. Bloggers who seem to hate anyone different than they are. Opinions that I very much disagree with and even find offensive. I didn’t follow them back. I couldn’t in good conscience, But I did feel a little discourteous for not following. We have to have our own limits though, as you expressed so well. πŸ™‚

    • I think we have an inbuilt courtesy that makes us want to follow those who follow us. I’ve found in the past though that it’s so easy to expose your friends to rants from the more radical follower, especially if you disagree with them. I always have the choice as to whether to allow the first comment through which can open floodgates.
      To be honest, I’m not sure there are enough hours in the day for following new people.I might have to give up sleep altogether.
      xxx Hugs Galore xxx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.