Surreal Sunday & Thoughtful Thursday.

Sunday 14 th December 2014.

My plans to have the gods annihilate themselves in a series of plots against one another have been temporarily shelved. I got to bed so late, so tired and still unfinished ( my work, not me personally) left me dreading a wake up call before the first bird of the day has even farted, but I found myself lying in until 5.57 am. Practically unheard of.It’s possible that maybe I underestimated Somnos’  aptitude for kindness. I was able to unburden the bladder which was in crisis after the much appreciated rest and then come back to my room and turn the computer on. There were a lot of messages on there but I felt more inclined and better able to face them rested as I was. I know I dealt with the fist two but suddenly I was coming round and it was 7.00 am. Just two messages done in an hour and I slept again? I just don’t remember nodding off or being tired.

It was time to feed the fish, or rather not feed the fish but turn their light on. Today I decided was their day of abstention. Obviously I wasn’t going to eat in front of them either so I was going to be abstemious too. I switched on the light and found myself face to face with Big Al.Then the oddest thing happened, he smiled at me and swam away. Puzzled and not a little suspicious I turned for my meds and made a coffee. Back at my desk a few minutes later I started in on the mail again. I know I managed quite a few and actually cleared the rest of last night’s. So, it was time to do battle with today’s. It was gone 7.30 am and there were a few messages on there but only up to 6.05 when I’d logged on. Against all Odds (Thanks Phil Collins) I cleared them by 9.00 am. I was pretty sure I was safe for a while yet as I could hear Mike snoring in his room. I refreshed.Oh Hell, why did I do that? I got that far ,then nothing.

I came to at 9.35 am and Mike was still in bed, still snoring and the mail was still in my box bar one which I must have opened as I fell asleep.

I am Mr Tom Crist the Calgary Max Lotto Winner of 40 Million

You have been selected to recieve the sum of $ 1 Mill^ion as I have decided to give all of my winnings to charity in honor of my late wife Jan who died of cancer  ,see link for more information http://www.today.com/news/canadian-lottery-winner-donates-40-million-jackpot-charity-2D11777987 kindly Forward Name, Age, Telephone Number, for more info
The same message as last week except for the wording. I’m really angry at these people building up the hopes of others and also for not caring who they write to, as in people like me who lost a wife to cancer. Very cruel. I wished I hadn’t opened that but deleted it straight away. I managed to force myself to do a few more included in which were one to tell me my phone bill hadn’t been paid because they had a problem with my bank, and one which informed me my agreement with Paypal was coming to an end and my bank details needed updating in order to extend it. I hope no-one a little less cynical than me gets these this weekend.

I had to break off just before 10.00 am to wake Mike with a drink. No, not by spilling it on him. He went through to the lounge and I joined him but only after checking to see how much mail was left Just 37. He was cracking the whip this morning so after he’d been to the loo and then finished his coffee we started wrapping presents. We did it until midday then we realised  with the gifts we bought yesterday there just weren’t enough bags. Time to get dressed and then hotfoot it over to Prestatyn. If I go to that shop any more they’ll be charging me ground rent. We got what we needed and also called into Tesco’s or Joe Cohen’s as we call it. I needed some tins and boxes of sweets to go with the presents for The Ivy and Temptations, one for here too. Then it was time to eat. Mike point blank refused to go into M&S after last week’s disaster and he didn’t want Tesco’s because they serve Costa coffee. We took a walk up the High Street. The two places we knew were both closed for some reason so we ended up in a chain Pub for a meal. It was very welcome as the day was bitter and Mike even enjoyed the coffee. There was another reason he didn’t want to look further, SKY TV were showing a match between Man.Utd and Liverpool.

I almost choked when United first scored and Mike cheered. Luckily so did most of the pub as I wouldn’t want to explain his response to a group of Liverpool supporters and I couldn’t run that fast. Once my meal was finished I went out for a walk while Mike watched till half time. I was a way up the road looking at shop windows when Mike’s roar told me United had scored again. At half time he came out and we headed home. We got back at 3.00 pm and I was itching to start my work. I’d hardly been able to keep my eyes open in the car but I felt fine now. Mike set us back on wrapping and putting things in the bags I’d just bought. We did a few and I called a halt with just 5 to go. They nay be the worst but I have a week now ( to find another sucker). I said I’d start work and Mike said he’d do the flowers and then head home. Walking round holding the bunch of flowers must have been just the right amount of subtlety for him. I looked at the inbox and wept LOUDLY another 218 added since 10.00 am. That kept me going until 9.00 pm then I refreshed another 59 which wasn’t too bad. Once this is finished I shall go back and see if I can finish all today’s and give myself a better start in the morning. I think I need to thank Somnos for all the extra sleep for I’m sure it’s he doing it. Am I a cynic in thinking there must be a reason?

I was tempted to go for Tears of a Clown or Tracks of my Tears but I think this one deserved an outing. Smokey rules!

Monday.

It was a 3.34 am morning following another 1.00 am night. It’s OK though, I’ll probably nap later I thought. So, I got out of bed and went to the loo. On my eventual return I kickstarted the computer or should that be started it with a kick in the hopes it might fix the fan? The messages weren’t at all bad and I knew I could take them steady. However there is one I’d like to share since I’m  being honoured.

Attention Dear.

I Hon ambassador Raymond Johnson, The chief Security officer, Interpol law
enforcement Agency.  I here by passing this information to you that
The Member of Parliament is looking for God fearing person who can be
The Ambassador to the African refugee. The meeting was held yesterday
in the united nation head office in New York. I can stand by it. So
that you can be the
Ambassador to African Refugee.

I want you to forward all your details to me so that united nation Can
put your name in the registration Book, Many  Beneficiary are very
Much interested in this position.

I wait to Hear from you.

Hon. Ambassador Raymond Johnson
the Chief Security Officer.
Interpol law enforcement Agency
New York Office

Unaccustomed as I am, and I never expected this. just let me read from my prepared speech…….       Pray tell me just what these idiots gain by sending out this drivel. I have a few awards from over the years of which I’m quite proud but I don’t think this one will be added to the pile. I worked my way through everything else, did a refresh, opened my second box and by 6.40 am was up to date. I went through to the kitchen. I missed the main light and went straight to the tank and using my hand felt for the switch. Whoosh, the lights were on. Moecambe and Wise came rushing to the front and hearing my dulcet tones hovered around where I was. I could see to plecs but no-one else. Then I opened the hatch. Morecambe and Wise changed position and stationed themselves under it at the top of the tank  while Sharkey did the same at the bottom of the tank. He was quickly joined by Little Al who came flying out of the shipwreck. I glanced through the side of the tank for a better view and could see Big Al poised to leap from the inside of the amphora.I dropped in food for all and closed the lid. As I moved away I saw Big Al dart over and barge Sharkey out of the way to nibble on a pellet.

I went to take my meds. and make myself a cup of coffee. As I wasn’t intending to go out today I didn’t bother having breakfast, I could have (high)tea instead. When I went back to my room I decided to get dressed though to give Pauline the impression that I do sometimes and don’r spend all day in a dressing gown. Then I settled back down to work for a short while but was finished by 8.00 am. I’d tried very hard to take my time to avoid anything else but I couldn’t put it off longer. I had to go wrapping again. First off I did my ex-brother in laws Christmas gift then went to find appropriate paper to wrap his Birthday gift for Boxing Day. Ju and I always felt sorry that as a child he very often got one gift to cover both days from lots of people. Next I chose a difficult one and started wrapping Reuben’s. This was where I made my big decision that next year everyone gets vouchers or at the very least I’m only buying things in easy to wrap boxes. It’s awful when my hands shake and I tear giftwrap just as I’m about to finish. I noticed it was 8.45 am as I was working and Pauline was late. As a matter of fact she still is since she didn’t arrive at all.

Once I’d finished Reuben’s one great big parcel as I got so fed up I had backache and decided to return to my desk. It was 9.30 am and no doubt there would be more post now. There was, and quite a bit. Like yesterday I was doing one message and then the next thing I knew it was 10.15 am and I was awake. It’s like narcolepsy. I so wanted to say catalepsy since anything with cats must be worse right. There’s no awareness of nodding and of tiredness, you’re just gone. I carried on with the mail. This is the next one to greet me and I had it three times today.

Dear Account Holder:

 Your NatWest Account security validation has expired, this maybe as a result of wrong or incomplete data

entered during the last update.

It’s strongly required that you should validate your Account Ownership Security on the link below.                                                                                                                                       If I was elderly or didn’t have my faculties I’m sure this would panic me. In fact it still might if I wasn’t aware I don’t have an account with them. If you get mails like this and send them to the bank’s spamming site they can trace them and shut them down. I know they’ll open up again but they have to create new email addresses for that and eventually they’ll be caught.

At 11.30 I stopped ready to do my lunch. To relax I turned TV on to  a Christmas film and sat down. I was gone again, no warning. It was only for just over half an hour and I was fully awake though a little confused. I made my lunch and had just finished when I had a text to ask if I was in. It was my friend Lis so of course I was in. She was there in about 5 minutes as she’d been heading back from Flint in my direction so had I been out she could have continued home. I was so glad we’d done the wrapping yesterday and bought some bags. Her gifts, Charlie’s gifts and one for Lis’s son Huw were all ready.I had a lovely kiss and a huge hug when she came in. It quite made my day. I made her coffee and we sat and chatted for an hour or so before she was due to a carol concert with her grandson. Another hug and kiss on departure and I was even ready to return to work. I had limited time, It was 1.20 pm and I wanted to watch a programme at 2.15 pm. I refreshed the screen, did one message and zonked for the third time and only came round at 2.20 pm. At this rate I should finish the post by next week. At 3.15 pm I returned determined to make a breakthrough.

By 5.15 I was getting up to date and went for some tea which just for Mike’s sake I’ll admit was the rest of the rhubarb pie with some custard. It would only have gone off otherwise. I saw there was an early film that sounded quite good at 6.50 pm so once I’d eaten I didn’t wait to watch my quiz shows. I managed to get to see the film which starred Channing Tatum who for some reason I thought was a woman. It was quite good. When it ended at 9.00 pm I took my meds and turned everything off at that end and cam back through. So far I’ve managed to stay unzonked. The mail has built up a lot so I’ve done some and then taken a break to do this and will then return to the mail. I’m hoping not to leave much of today’s for the morning as I’m going out to see Yvonne and there will be mounds when I get back.

Tuesday.

I was allowed a 3.42 am day. I’m choosing to believe that it wasn’t to ensure just over 2 hours sleep last night but that it’s Somnos’s way of mollifying me by making sure I had adequate time to deal with messages before I went out. Being of a more logical frame of mind I thought it might be better to allow me to lie-in until say 6.00 am after having had a wee word in the ear of the god of the WWW to ensure that no message that doesn’t need an answer, all cons, all adverts and any horoscope vendors take a long walk off a short pier. Still. we have to make the best of what we can get. So, I made the best by going to make liquid offering to the gods. Once back the computer went on straight away. It was certainly not as bad as I feared, less than 100 all told and I could see straight away two were to tell me another non-existent account has been suspended pending me losing all my marbles and confirming all my details for them. I’m fairly sure that the speed with which I disposed of those two makes me the fastest draw around.

At 6.15 am I ‘d cleared them all though I hadn’t refreshed the box. I thought I’d get the kitchen out of the way and then get dressed and see how much time I had left. Looking at the tank with the kitchen light on all looked completely normal. I turned on the tank light and opened the hatch. As I did , something sailed past me. Thinking it might be one of the fish I scrabbled about on the floor until I howled in pain after kneeling on a small hard snail. I don’t understand it. Was the snail going up the glass at a rate of knots and didn’t meet a barrier or has Big Al got the others producing ballista now? I’d crushed the snail so in the bin it went. I limped to the tank to feed them and caught sight of Big Al with his back to me going into the amphora and I’m sure he was laughing. Morecambe and Wise played innocent and came to be fed while Sharkey hovered  a short way away, his raspberry tinge making him look embarrassed. Of little Al there was no sign and the plecs are just inscrutable  ( I do have an ointment for them though).

I took my meds ( don’t worry missus, I’m calm again now) and decided since I didn’t know what would happen today, I’d have breakfast before going out. I had the pre-food tab, lit a cigarette and sat in the lounge for a few minutes out of the way of any more missiles. Time up, I had some cereal and a slice of toast. I had the two after food tablets , washed the pots and went back to my room with a coffee. Before settling again I got washed and dressed. There was three quarters of an hour before I needed to go for the bus so there was time to drink my coffee and see to a few more messages. I refreshed. A mere 29, brilliant. I’d done those, washed my mug and got my coat on in nice time. I collected the bag I was taking with me of Christmas bedding I’d bought Yvonne for a laugh and her birthday present from MuJo plus some books I’d got for Reuben. It wasn’t raining too badly as I locked up and set off so that was a good sign. It was a few minutes before the bus was due so I had to walk all the way to the bus stop this time. I was gasping by the time I got there.It doesn’t look like much of a hill but it’s quite deceiving.

I’d just about made it when the bus arrived and I climbed aboard before the rain came down in earnest ( a town a few miles away). I had an hour now to compose myself and catch a few Zzz’s if possible. I didn’t see most of the journey today as I had my eyes shut and I was glad of it since the bus got very crowded and someone was sitting toe to toe with  me. When I felt her move There was a terrible waft that overcame her perfume and I deduced a bad stomach ( Alimentary my Dear Holmes) I opened my eyes and we were in Chester. I just had to strap the crutches on , ignore the people scrunching up their faces as they went past me, pick up my bag and leave. I was in a particular hurry as I was still holding my breath. Yvonne and Reuben were waiting. His pushchair was surrounded by pigeons and he was feeding them something. As soon as he saw me he dropped whatever it was and pointed. I hoped he wasn’t pointing at the foul air that still hung round me.

Our usual cafe wasn’t open yet so as usual we paid a visit to the £1 shop to pickup wet wipes and things of that ilk before going for a drink. The cafe is inside a clothing store so we went up in the lift where we let Reuben out of his trolley and he and I walked had in hand to a table while Yvonne went up and ordered. They were having breakfast of toast and jam and since I refused she got me a latte in the super giant economy size which meant by the end I needed the loo and was pushing little old ladies out of the way with my crutches. While they finished up at the table I had a wander down to the gents section and found a dressing gown for Ugo in a Star Wars theme. I picked up something I knew Yvonne wanted to get and made her write me an IOU before letting her have it. We left there and made our way to a different £1 shop that had some decorations she wanted and which also sells my favourite (of the moment) sweets, we seemed to have armfuls of stuff and I found it quite difficult to barge her out of the way at the counter so I could pay. The usual moans, I’ll never understand that girl.

Next on the list was a bit of a walk away and was the new B&M store, usually known as bum bargains near the market. We had a fine time in there but she wouldn’t let me pay. I did buy her a dressing gown too though. It took us a long time going round that particular shop as it’s quite large so kit was approaching lunch time. I gave her the option of going home now and I’d catch my bus or of going for a drink and some lunch and I’d catch the next one. She chose the latter so I suggested the cafe within the market. Roobs didn’t seem keen on this choice and set his siren going, even when I put him standing on my knees. I know he wanted the freedom to run around but the place was crowded so we entertained each other with mouth noises. I had bacon, chips and beans and Yvonne chose something between them which he just wasn’t interested in. To be fair , he wasn’t interested in mine either though my tablets appealed to him. I was mean and refused him. He even threw chocolate on the floor which caused Yvonne to faint- nearly anyway. In there Yvonne sorted the bags into mine and hers. It was laughable. I had two small ones, and one of those she’d brought with her for me. She had the rest. They were on the arm of the pushchair which when she let go to put her hat on, tipped up in the air. That entertained Reuben but she couldn’t do it all the way home. I made her depart and go home rather than wait with me because she had so much stuff. She turned it into an argument about coming to see me on Christmas day and I said no, I’d see her boxing day. “I’m waiting with you now then” she said. “No”, “Yes” it went. In the end I said I had to go to the loo anyway so she might as well go.

I caught my bus and was at home not long after 2.00 pm. I let her know I was back safely and she opened hostilities via text now. “Yes”, “No” I think I’ll go out somewhere that day.They’re off to Birmingham to see Ugo’s Ma and family and I’m in totally the wrong direction. I’ll see them all the following day. And if you’re reading this, That’s That !! Finito.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            There was no chance I could see my afternoon play so I just ploughed into the work. Almost 200 emails in my queue. Thanks for that. It took me till 5.30 pm tp make real headway and then I had a break for tea until 6.30 pm and back at it with the new ones that had arrived. That saw me through until 9.00 pm and I took a break till 10.15 pm when I came to do this post. Now it’s back to the mail again and hopes of a pre-midnight bedtime.

Nature Trail

Nature Trail

 

More Nature trail

More Nature trail

Wednesday.

I dreamed last night. Its not often that happens. I knew it must be a dream because I was walking through the grass in bare feet and they weren’t getting wet from the dew. As I suspected there was Porcinus sitting on a low wall whistling. I walked over and stopped in front of him. “Well Porky, who are you running messages for today? Let me guess, it’s still that little  beggar Somnos.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “You know full well my name is Porcinus David, and as a god I don’t run messages for anyone. But, I am here on behalf of my brother , yes. he wonders, we wonder if you’ve given thought to our proposition. There are thousand of people ready to jump at the opportunity if you don’t.”                                                                                           “I want to ask you a question and would appreciate an honest answer. How many people turned you down before you came to me?”                                                                    “Erm, I’m not sure of the exact numbers, but a few.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     “Doesn’t that give you the impression that maybe people don’t want to be the advertising executive of the gods because they don’t want gods?”                                            “Oh I’m sure that couldn’t possibly be true. I think they were all just very busy at the time whereas we know you’re not busy these days.”                                                        “Ouch, that one hurt. Thousands of years you’ve been here and can you name one good thing you’ve done? As far as I can see the gods squabble a lot and in the old days your followers made war on someone else’s followers causing mayhem.”                                                                                                                                                                                  “Oh no, our followers have never fought anyone else’s. We’re quite new and still small which is why we need the publicity. Followers make us grow. At the moment I only have two, an old swineherd in Mongolia and a young girl who daydreams a lot.”                                                                                                                                                                     ” Well,  nice talking to you Porky, I don’t think you need get much bigger and have to create priests and temples. I’ll be heading back to bed now, say Hi to Somnos for me.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                “So I can tell him you’re still thinking about it then? Can you still hear me David, goodnight?

I woke up not long after that. It was 4.41 am Fair play, I had to give the little man credit for trying but he’s on a hiding to nothing if he thinks I’ll help introduce new gods to the world. We seem to have enough problems between the followers of the ones we’ve got already, even though some say it’s the same chap with different names. I started on my mail and worked till 6.45 am then went and saw to the fish. Now their god is the most reasonable of men, definitely not a god of war though sometimes a god of defence when Big Al is in a mood. He was in a mood this morning. I don’t know what had upset him but he was at the far end of the tank looking in the reflective glass and chunnering to himself. As far as is possible with a fish he even seemed to have his shoulders hunched. At least it wasn’t me this time.

After feeding the fish I took my meds, had some breakfast and made my coffee. I took it back through and got dressed. As soon as the first lot of messages were done at 9.30 am I went to Pauline’s. When I got back there were a couple of parcels I needed to wrap for Yvonne. A bloody cone shape she gave me to wrap, how clever is she getting out of that one. Once I’d bagged those I needed to do a couple more for my own benefit and then came back to work. I regretted refreshing the screen straight away but there was nothing for it, the work had to be done. It took me until 11.50 am to clear than last batch and suddenly it was lunchtime. I treated myself to some bacon sandwiches and watched Bargain Hunt. I found I wanted to fall asleep before the auction but I persevered as I wanted to catch the new Australian show at 2.15 am. I think I was on the point of nodding off when someone posted something through the letterbox. A card from a neighbour I’ve never met. It woke me enough to start work and I kept going until it was time to break again. At 3.15 am I was back but knew it was only until 5.00 pm as I haven’t had a message to say Lee isn’t coming. At least I managed to clear the backlog by then.

I was sitting in the lounge when I saw what I thought was a very fat fly crawling on the radiator, then fall down behind it. I was surprised to still see flies at this time of year. Lee arrive and brought a gift for under my tree. We chatted about his work, his wife (my Jen) and the family when suddenly he saw near him the same creature I’d seen only it was a very fat wasp. I’m even more surprised now. He caught it in a cup and set it down in the garden. Like me he doesn’t care to kill things. Not long after that Dil and Matt arrived so it was time to set up the table. They dealt with their hello’s and news while I made drinks then for a change I got the Scrabble out.Two games we had, in my case two unmitigated disasters I struggled even to come last in one. This is not how things are meant to be. We were about to start on Nomination when for some reason I thought of Chase the Lady ( Hearts on a computer). We had two games of that too. Considering Dil and I are past masters at this we were thrashed in the first game and I only came third, I think Matt won but the second game I won. Hallelujah, the night was not a total washout.

They left at 9.30 pm and I tidied up and washed the pots as usual before coming through. It took me till 11.00 pm to finish the first batch of mail then I refreshed and let out a girlie scream when I saw the numbers. I carried on for half an hour then broke off to do the blog. It’s now 12.20 am and as soon as I’m done here I’ll go back to the mail to leave a clear run for the morning.

Exhausted- all shopped out.

Exhausted- all shopped out.

Thursday.

It’s possible that maybe I was a little hard on Porcinus in yesterday’s dream. If so, it appeared I was to pay for it now. I’d turned my light off a 1.15 am thi morning and there I was waking up with a desperate need to pass water ( no, not the stream over the road) at 2.30 am. Even I thought it was a bit much. Returning from the loo I’d declined to sign on the computer but slipped back into a still warm bed and managed to fall back into sleep. Maybe Porcinus had a few regrets too since I slept until 5.56 am.I haven’t slept like that in ages. Since I didn’t need the loo just yet, the computer didn’t have to wait. Joy of joys, there weren’t even too many messages. I worked till 7.00 am and took a break.

I turned the kitchen light on first before approaching the tank to give them chance to adjust to my being there. On went the tank light and all of the fish moved to congregate round Big Al who was at the front of the tank. He seemed to be directing thinks with his gills. It took me a moment to realise what the cheeky beggar was doing, he was usurping my authority, claiming to be me, the Bringer of Light and Food. Under the thumb I might be but no way was I having that. While he was still in  full flow I turned the light back out. For the next 15 minutes taking my meds and getting some breakfast occupied my attention. As soon as that was done I started brewing my coffee and stepped back over to the tank. Big Al had moved away to his favourite corner but the rest were still fairly close to the front. I brought my face down level with the front so I could be clearly see then turned the light back on. While they were still giving me a little attention I opened the hatch and dropped food in. Let’s see him  equal that one. I took my coffee back to my room. I remembered to check last night’s lottery. Nada. Then it was time to get dressed. I’d no intention of setting foot outdoors until I go for new lottery tickets tomorrow morning, but if anyone called I didn’t  want them to think me completely idle. By 10.00 am the mail was cleared. I felt like nodding off but that would be too easy. The postman knocked and brought a parcel which comprised a gift for under the tree from a friend in South Wales. It reminded me of those that still needed to be wrapped so I tied heading in the opposite direction. It didn’t work so I buckled down and wrapped the gifts for my nieces Karen and Jo. That leaves just two to go now so maybe if the mail is as good tomorrow……….

At 11.00 am I came back through and refreshed the screen. Still only 35. I knocked those out by 11.50 am and decided to have lunch. By the time everything was ready it was time for Bargain Hunt so I settled down to watch. Amazingly I was still awake at the end. I went back to work. I wanted to be free by 2.15 pm so I rushed through the new batch of mail and made it easily. I’ve never had a day like this. I watched my programme in comfort and never worried once about a backlog. When I returned to the screen things were much the same. Post had come in but nothing excessive . Maybe the Christmas spirit is keeping people away from the computer, ah, but what happens when they sober up? The work was done again and there was time to watch some of my quizzes so I went through at 5.30 pm. I don’t want to be too greedy as the new Big Bang episode is on at 8.30 pm I thought.Just at that point Mike sent me a text to say he was on his way. I shall have to make sure I work a tad harder to make sure I’m free for about 8.00 pm to prepare his mug for when he walks in so we can both see it. He walked in at 7.30 pm.  I swear he’s trying to catch me smuggle a woman out. Heck, most of them run out screaming.

I did his coffee and we sat chatting about his week, then horror of horrors I found there was no Big Bang Theory it having been taken off in favour of a Transformers Movie. Sacre Bleu! If I were King this would be grounds for a charge of Treason. Instead we watched a make-over programme called DIY S.O.S. which is always well done and in a good cause. This time it was in Wales and closer to my heart. I must get the fires checked for fumes tomorrow as towards the end both Mike and I found our eyes leaking. I decided to take some more time and we watched a programme on Richard II, the most vicious of the Plantagenet Kings. He  was probably a pussy cat next to me though. At 10.00 pm I had to call a halt to all the jollity and stop skiving. Back through here and nose to the grindstone because 3 hours post had built up. By 11.00 pm I’d not quite done half so decided to break off to start the blog and bring the music choice of the day to you before Friday gets here.

Friday.

I turned my light off at 12.45 am last night an settled down. I don’t think it took long to go to sleep but when I did I’m sure it was deep. When I woke I wasn’t sure I felt ready to get up and one glance at the clock soon gave birth to the reason for that , it was 1.28 am. There was the hint of a snigger in the air. I sat on the edge of the bed and smoked a cigarette hoping somebody other than me would choke before I tried going back to bed. The minor victory of seeing me discomfited must have been enough for when I tried again I was allowed an extra 3 hours until 4.28 am. It was so much easier to get up the second time. There was the usual trip to the loo when I thought I was losing so much fluid I was in danger of dehydrating, and of turning to dust like Dorian Gray. I could feel the ridges forming on my face until I remembered that was age. Back in my room I gave the wondrous power of electricity to my computer and it came to  life like one of Frankenstein’s experiments. Withing the first ten messages there were two telling me of disruptions to talktalk and warning me it had caused problems with my personal information which needed checking. Naturally they supplied a link. In the next ten I had notice that a bank account was suspended because my info had been corrupted. One more a little further was from paypal to say I’d received a payment. If I didn’t claim it now it would be returned. I had a real warm glow knowing I was responsible for keeping so many people in employment.

I worked until 6.30 am a it’s the day for doing my weekly drugs. First job, the fish.When I turned the light on they were in a frenzy. They were zipping every which way with the exception of my big plec which was just working it’s way up the front glass cleaning as it went. Whatever appeared to have affected the others it clearly hadn’t touched him at all. That he didn’t have a calming effect, especially on the other two plecs led me to think this was some ploy of Big Al’s though I had no idea what he’d gain from it unless he thought I would panic. I have learned from my grandson though the beneficial effects of bribery and opened the hatch to drop food in. As the first pieces dropped the motion seemed to waver then slow. By the time the rest was in there was only Big Al still moving. Other than jaws that is.

I moved over to take my tablets and sprays and prepared my cup for coffee. Now the tablet container was empty and ready to receive I went to get my meds drawer from one of the units in the lounge. As I was filling the container I was marking a repeat prescription of the drugs I needed next week. I usually have a new batch every other week for a month at a time half the drugs one request and half the drugs the other. I’d hate to  strain the delivery man. As soon as I’d done that I made a drink and went to get dressed.At 8.50 am I went back through to prepare Mike’s mug and once the kettle had boiled I made him a coffee and took it through. It took two calls to get through to him but when I heard him say “You’re good to me you are” I actually thought he was awake and left him. It was time to get my shoes and coat on and go for my lottery plus I needed fresh bread and some milk. As I moved towards the front door I could see he hadn’t moved so I called again to remind him the drink was there and I wouldn’t be out long. I left. By the time I had what I needed and returned Mike was up and in the lounge. I’d wanted him up so he’d be on the way to his Dad’s early since he’d mentioned a few problems this week.

Mike left at 10.00 am and I went back to work. Things were quite steady up till almost midday when I stopped for lunch. The fact that it was Friday had escaped me and it was lucky I’d finished eating when one of the wardens arrived. I asked if there was any chance of getting out early for good behaviour but she didn’t seem very sympathetic to my cause. We sat and wagged our chins a bit then I gave her a box of chocolates as she left. Maybe she’d put in a good work for me with the parole board. I had the last few minutes of Bargain Hunt then returned to work. I wanted to be free by 2.15 pm and  I was, with fifteen minutes to spare. I think that was the last episode of the Australian serial I’ve been watching. Once I’d gone back to keep up with the mail I found it easy going and when I got a surprise text from Mike at 3.30 pm to say he was setting off I knew I’d be free for him coming in. I stopped at 5.15 pm and went to put the kettle on. I had a quick bowl of cereal then turned TV on for my quiz. Mike came in at just after 5.30 pm and sat telling me about his day before we watched Eggheads together. Then it was Big Bang Theory albeit an old one. At 7.00 pm Mike washed my hair and I took a shower. After an episode of Mastermind I came back through knowing the last 3 hours wouldn’t have been as kind as earlier in the day. I regret to say I was right . But with so much headway throughout the day I wasn’t worried. Early night tonight, early shopping in the morning.

Saturday.

I’m in a cleft stick today. I want to complain bitterly that I was left in bed so late this morning with so much mail coming through, but, one sly smirk and a look of innocence followed by a treacle voice saying “But I wanted to treat you to a lie-in David, You work such long hours.” would have me blowing my top and probably spending the next 50 years with my eyelids stitched open. Mmm, 50 more years, would it be worth it?

6.16 am when I  woke up and swung my legs out of bed. I was not a happy bunny. By the time I’d been for a morning pee I had time to do only 3 pieces of post before it was time to dress, go through to the kitchen, completely forget the fish, put the kettle on to make Mike a drink, have my morning meds and make myself a drink. By the time my coffee was ready the kettle had boiled and I took a drink through to Mike to coincide with his alarm going off. I made sure that I got his attention by repeating myself with just a small gap between then went back to the kitchen. Moments later the shuffle of feet told me that I was either suffering a zombie invasion or Mike was up. As I hadn’t unlocked the front door, Mike seemed the most likely though I wasn’t sure how I’d tell. If I went back through to work, Mike would sit here forever. If I stayed sitting here too long I’d get into a bigger panic about the work. I did the only thing I could, get sarcastic. Nothing wakes him quicker. He nipped to the loo, came back and finished his drink on the run and then went to get dressed. I gathered the recycling bags ready to take them out. We’d emptied the main bin and the food waste last night in readiness.

Once I’d got my coat on I went back towards the kitchen to collect the shopping bags and the gifts we were taking out with us. Mike just stood there and asked ” Not bothering with the fish today then?” My stomach sank, I was 40 minutes late. I walked in backwards, felt for the switch to the tank, pressed it and walked out again.  “You rank coward, aren’t you feeding them?” he asked. “No” I replied, “this is their fast day.” As we left we dragged all the refuse to the end of the path and carried on to the car. It was really bitterly cold this morning. We managed the trip in time to get to the supermarket for 8.00 am. I got money from the machine while Mike got a trolley and then poor soul had a coughing fit. Once he’d recovered we headed inside where it was warmer even in the freezer aisles. The trolley seemed to get more filled than usual despite there being no clothes or gifts in it this time and Mike held me up when the woman announced it came to over £10 this week. Wen she said how much more my knees didn’t want to work. Luckily after we’d bought cigarettes, Mike let me sit down with a coffee. An iced one.

From there we took our usual route to Flint and got a couple of things from Home Bargains before making our way to Temptations. My they were busy this morning. There was a long queue which I joined while Mike nipped to the loo. Kyle and one of the new young ladies were on the counter but Ceri came downstairs from the sandwich making part before I reached the front. As she filled the order I passed the bag with staff gifts over and their chocolates. Mike and I sat down with a drink and waited for the teasted toecakes.  As the queue disappeared there was a lot of joking going on (what’s new) which obviously surrounded Christmas. Ceri made a remark about wondering what Santa would bring her this year and I suggested she look in the bag. She asked if it was OK to open it and when we said it was up to her, she did. There was a squeal of delight at the bracelet we’d got her. Great, I was so glad she liked it. We left there knowing Ceri would give out the other gifts and headed for one more shop where Mike found himself a very swish jacket. There was one I liked too which claimed to be a 46 that wouldn’t go anywhere near me.        ( One more comment like that and I’m coming for you) Mike made some remark about me being bigger than I’ll admit and for a minute the air turned blue. I suggested he try it and he’s a 42″ chest. He couldn’t get it on either and had to eat some words. Obviously some things are European marked sizes.

The time was getting on as I left there and we decided to carry straight on for lunch before going home so set sail for the Ivy. The car park  was quite full and when we got in both our usual seats were occupied. Horror. We went to the counter to complain and Angie leaned over to give us a kiss each then young Rob passed behind us and kindly squeezed my shoulder.Mike passed the bag of gifts over and the sweets. Angie set Rob to making the drinks while Mike and I found a new seat. I had to badger him to decide what he wanted to eat and while he was faffing both Shella and Tariq passed behind us and said hello. Tariq stopping for his usual hug of course. Once I had Mike’s order I went and made the request so I could take my pre-food tab and then go for a cigarette. Mike joined me. When we’d gone back in and settled, lunch came and I asked Tariq if he’d play Santa with the gifts so that everyone had the chance to decide whether they wanted to open them today or at Christmas. He did that and all voted to take it home for under their tree. When lunch was over I paid and got hugs and kisses from all as did Mike before Tariq showed us his new computer and printer set-up for doing prints, T-shirts and photographs etc. Very impressive. He said if I ever want to come and sit there all day I’m welcome. We came home.

From about 2.30 pm to 5.30 pm when Mike called me I was solidly trying to hack away at the accrued post of the day, over 200. I made some headway but couldn’t quite finish. I could only stay with him until 8.00 pm before my nerve broke and I had to come back through. By 9.45 pm I was almost there then I made the mistake of refreshing. Oh well. only myself to blame. I had a break at 11.00 pm to do the blog and if there are lots of errors it’s because I’m typing with my fingers crossed that everyone stops posting tonight. Tomorrow we venture into MuJo territory to deliver gifts.

Have a Great New Week.

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28 Comments

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28 responses to “Surreal Sunday & Thoughtful Thursday.

  1. David, i love the bits about the gods. So fun! But your very first thing about “before the first bird had farted” had me laughing clear up through your Thursday. Thanks for the Motown feast — 2 from Smokey! Happy Holiday Hugs to you and Mike and the rest. 😀

    • Always leave’em rolling in the aisles eh. Such a small thing too except I suppose to another bird close by.
      I’m glad you enjoyed your Smokey and the little bit extra Motown I slipped in.
      xxx Warmest Hugs back from us here, though no chance of Mike being up and saying it himself yet. It’s not midday. xxx (No doubt I’ll be made to pay for that ).

  2. Hilarious as ever, David. Seems Big Al has you on your toes – er, knees – even more than usual this week. I just know you’ll have them all towing the line and singing Christmas carols in that tank before the end of the year. Biggest bises xx Mel

  3. And gods will be gods, there to confuse there to elucidate, depends on which one and at which time we speak to them or they to us and as to the “idiots” I reckon only idiots understand idiota and we’re certainly not one of those. Cheers, David, I did so enjoy my cuppa while reading your this week’s “confession” . Hugs XX

    • Thank you Ina.Yes, I reckon the gods love to confuse us and treat us as entertainment. I tried to enrol for a course in Idiota but luckily all the places were taken.
      I hope you keep enjoying your cuppa while catching up on my adventures.
      xxx Massive Christmas Hugs xxx

  4. Just been catching up on a couple of week’s worth of posts here and am now grinning. Your chat with the gods reminds me of character Don Camillo who chats to God.
    Those phishing and spam emails worry me. If someone less savvy than you gets them (like my mother) it might cause them to click the link. It’s something else to be aware of and I am glad you post about them. Hopefully, you have helped a few people from falling into the spammer’s traps. I’m sending your blog link to my mother. I’m sure she’ll enjoy it too.
    Sending you hugest of hugs XXHUGSXX

    • Hi Carol, I hate those spammers and phishers who are out to cheat everyone. They’re getting much more sophisticated but usually their email address gives everything away. I hope your Mum never gets caught. I also hope she finds something to smile about in my blog.
      xxx Massive Christmas Hugs to you xxx

  5. Another busy week. I think you showed Big Al though. With regards to the Gods…Well, we’ll see. I got one of those e-mails this week (my e-mail server updated last weekend, always for the worst, and suspect their spam checker isn’t quite as good) and immediately thought of you…I agree you do a good service with them. I backlist them and all those things but they always come around in some other form…
    I hope you have a Great Christmas. Huge hugs!!

    • I’m sure Big Al knows exactly who’s boss. The spammers always seem to know how to circumvent being blocked and get their cons out there, we just have to be more vigilant all the time. Thank you, I try to warn without boring too much.
      I’ve asked Santa for someone like you in my stocking. If that happens it will be a great Christmas.Someone to drink tea with…..
      I hope you have a wonderful time and you get a bookshop as your surprise. Oops!
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  6. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, good David!

  7. Love the expression “before the first bird has even farted”! And your dream of Porcinus–that could be the title of an epic poem, or a essay (satire). Your posts always make me smile 🙂 Big hugs!

    • Sorry Melanie, that one just slipped out……
      Oh yes, an epic poem to rival the greats, Somnos will be so jealous he might even give up on me. YAY.
      I’m glad to be able to raise a smile for people.
      Have a Wonderful Christmas xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  8. I am so fed up with spammer emails–I really don’t think my eyeballs can roll any further skyward when I see those familiar titles. My sympathies, David.
    And I’m so glad to hear someone else uses the term “before sparrow’s fart” (close enough, right?). I think it’s incredibly descriptive and somewhat of an unusual visual. 😛
    Happy Holidays, David. I hope they are marvelously merry ones!
    xxooxx

    • Maybe the spammers will take a Christmas break too. Give our eyes chance to recover.
      Easily close enough, a very descriptive term and now you mention it I have little cartoons running through my head of sparrows with one leg raised.
      I hope you have a Fantastic Christmas. xxx Humongous Hugs xxx

  9. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Keep the great posts coming…
    xxx Hugs Galore xxx

  10. Thank you for an intriguing week, as always you make me smile. I am so impressed that you read your spam mail – I just delete. I know I couldn’t handle your wake/sleep schedule but you seem to handle it well. 🙂 Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. May the new year bring you much love and laughter and of course many hugs. {{{{hugs}}}} to you now and always.

    • Thanks Maggie. Even your comments bring a smile to my face, I don’t read all spam mil, just that I don’t know is spam till opened.Those I want to see how clever they are.
      I suppose I handle the sleep/wake thing because I don’t have a choice and maybe because it’s as a result of not getting any exercise or occupying myself somehow other than on the computer.
      Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda Dear Maggie. May you have a wonderful time and may the New Year be full of Happiness for you.
      xxx Humongous Hugs xxx

  11. I don’t think spammers take holiday breaks, David, so remain on your toes. We’ll see, huh? Oh, Smokey baby. I didn’t recognize the first song or his voice, and I used to be Smokey’s biggest fan. But, the second one, oh, yes, I so remember. (I love “Tracks of my Tears.”)

    My dear man, you need more sleep. But, I can understand that o’ bladder of yours has to win. Luckily! Hehe. 🙂 Well, it’s snowing down on me here on your site, so I need to find gloves. Merry Christmas, my friend, and have a wonderful New Year.

    • I don’t think the Spammers Union will like that much and I’m, certain I won’t.Smokey has done so many good songs but I agree with your choice Mary J. definitely one of the best ever by anyone.

      Yep, I wouldn’t like it to much if my bladder was the loser but to be honest it’s I”m awake so I’m going rather than I need to wake up and go.
      Sorry about the snow, hope you wrapped up warmly.
      Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda Mary J. May this next year be the kindest to you yet. You’re a wonderful lady.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  12. It’s always so much fun reading your day to day events, David. I can’t stand those con letters. I get them too all the time. It makes me wonder what kind of people they are preying on the hopes and dreams of others. And I also wonder how many poor saps they’ve been able to con. I’m so sorry they mentioned a woman dying of cancer, it was very insensitive (and evil) of them to use that as a way to play at people’s heartstrings. You crack me up when you talk about how much Mike sleeps. You’re hilarious! 😀 xx

    • The conmen really annoy me Vashti as it’s often the elderly and the vulnerable who get caught by them and lost vasts amounts of money. It’s really big business these days and so much easier than working for a living.
      Thank you for the kind words. I love writing about Mike and when he moans I point out I let him off an awful lot. He’d go out with the bed strapped to his back if he could.
      I’m glad it makes you smile though.
      xxx Hugs Galore xxx

  13. Hi David, have some time to catch up and sending big sorry’s that its been a while. I did try to limit technology over the Xmas period with emails etc and after a little break can get back to reading your lovely posts.
    I’m with you with presents and the wrapping of them. Its something I never think of when I’m buying them but then half way through wrapping them I wonder why I cant pay someone to do it. Also this year has been a bit harder as I ended up wrapping 134 presents for my daughters school Xmas party. Its great being a mum!
    I am shocked how much and the different types of spam you get. You are right if someone isnt familiar with it or gets confused they realy could end up in some trouble. Anyone new to emails and that way of communication could really find it tricky, its so unfair to bombard them on people.
    I was annoyed with how favourite shows get pushed to one side because of Xmas and some have even stopped till half way through January! But my husband has found a really good clip on YouTube with the cast of Big Bang Theory. They do a flash mob clip with the cast and crew, its very good and if you enjoy the show you should give it a go. Really fun.
    I’m so enjoying catching up with you, promise to be a bit better at it now things have calmed down.
    Hope your well,
    Kim

    • Sometimes we get so caught up in things Kim it hard to remember to breathe. Christmas is always like that so you’re right to limit the internet. There’s only so much time in a day and it’s family time.
      Great idea paying someone to wrap, I’m trying that next year though I did have help from Mike, mainly because he hoped to wrap his own.
      I may do a piece on frauds again as Mike pulling his hair out trying to find out how or on what his dad spent £180 on the phone with nothing to show for it. This week he found a cheque made out to o to a firm in Holland who offered to make him a share in a lottery fortune. People get easily taken in sometimes.
      Time to have something to eat I think before I forget.
      xxx Massive Hugs to all xxx

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