Monthly Archives: December 2016

Oscar Gets Needled.

16/04/2012

What a day I’ve had. You wouldn’t believe the trouble I’ve been to today to bring the house to order.
Let’s start with this morning. In all innocence I went to my ‘The Him’ and suggested he wake up. OK, I admit it wasn’t easy to rouse him and I had to resort to nibbling his nose a bit but it’s not really my fault. In all fairness he was making such a racket it was no wonder he couldn’t hear me. So, I stopped the noise so he could understand what I was telling him and he had the nerve to object. I jumped off his sleeping place pretty rapidly as I don’t think the hand coming towards me was going to stroke me as I deserve. He turned his light on and seemed to glare at me. I walked away with my head held high as he followed me muttering all the time as he does sometimes. Anyway, after I had established that I has woken him for an emergency- my dish was empty- he filled it and returned to his sleeping place. I ignored the food for now since I wasn’t hungry ( but you can’t be too careful) and followed him back, settling on his stomach and doing a few turns just to get comfy. I’d just about reached that comfy stage when he sat up again moaning about his bladder or something and left, inconsiderate eh. Since there was now a nice warm spot I didn’t follow him but settled down.

No doubt there was no intent to distress me, but it wasn’t working. There I was woken from my sleep by my ‘The Him’ and he was picking me up and stroking my head. Now I became suspicious at this point as he wasn’t chunnering, mumbling or threatening me. It became obvious there was something wrong when my ‘The Her’ came in with a bag in her hands and he tried to put me in it. Naturally I tried to resist and in the process must have ‘accidentally’ caught my ‘The Him’s’ arm. There he was, screaming again about Bar Codes or something while forcing me down until my ‘The Her’ managed to shut the zip over me. It was very undignified but I suppose that’s what non-Superiors are like. I was quiet for a minute but unhappy so I started letting them know it. My ‘The Her’ was shushing me while he was carrying the bag outside to their chariot.

It was a short journey and the smell of our destination quietened me. I knew where I was and I didn’t like it one bit. Someone called my name and I was carried through to a white room and the bag was placed down. Suddenly the zip opened and a large paw came in and grabbed me by my neck. I didn’t wriggle or fight as this one in white is very strong. Moments later a sharp jab in my rear followed by a quick rub and I was thrust in the bag again. Another short journey and we were home. He placed my bag on the seating place and called to my ‘The Her’, “All done for another year Dear, shots are up to date. Would you like to come and let him out because I’m not putting my arms anywhere near the little wretch.” My ‘The Her’ opened the zip and lifted me out into a hug. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself- with good reason- and enjoyed it.
“There, there ” she said “all over now Oscar. David you’re such a wimp, he’s as good as gold aren’t you boy?”

I limped off to have a little food from my dish and then came back to the seating place for a catnap. I was just settling down to rest when Rat 1 spoke up, ” Hey cat, I hear you’ve been out today , well I can see the bags under your eyes or rather the bag that was around them but don’t get needled with me.” I could hear her laughing as I tried to sleep. Just as I thought the day couldn’t get any worse I heard my ‘The Her’ talking to the box in her hand. “Yes, you can collect him on Thursday evening and we’ll be back on Sunday night. We’re going away for a few days.” I knew that meant I was going away too but not with them. Another little holiday for me at the Superior’s Hotel where I never get enough to eat, don’t get the strokes I deserve and don’t get to share a comfy sleeping place with my Longlegs.
Like I said, I’ve had quite a day.

new-christmas

Santa was able to wish Reuben and Amelie a Merry Christmas when they paid him a visit, complete with parents, this weekend.

Whatever your personal beliefs, I  wish you joy of the season and happiness if you’re off for the holidays.

For the  New Year many people will make wishes. My own personal wish is for more peace in the world. More love, more respect, more tolerance and less killing.

To anything that can advance my cause I wish more strength and Hugs without end.

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn  Newydd Dda.

peace-on-earth

image compliments of 123greetings.com

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Confrontation and Lies

9/4/2012

I decided to take a walk round my village this morning just to make sure all’s well. It’s been a few days since I did so. As I was getting to The Fursty Ferret I saw Ginger and young Frisk, a newcomer, talking. Or rather Ginger was doing the talking and Frisk the listening. I wandered over in time to hear Ginger saying “And I  suggest you don’t say a word about it from now on”.
“About what Ginger?” I asked.
“Oh hello Oscar, nothing important” he said.
“I was just asking if it’s true that two rats rule the roost in your house” said Frisk with what looked like a smirk.

“I don’t know who you’ve been listening to kitten” I said, “but make no mistake, I’m still as much in charge there as ever.”
“Just what I’ve been saying” added Ginger.
It was easier to feign indifference to what Frisk said than to actually work out in my mind whether what I’d said was true since the unfortunate incident with my tail, but I wasn’t about to voice my doubts.

I continued with my stroll as though nothing was wrong but it worried me that a newcomer could so easily voice thoughts that made me look silly in front of my friends. I have to fix this and quickly I thought. With a new determination I turned and headed for home. Just inside the gateway there was a rustle and quick as a flash I pounced showing Frisk and Ginger who seemed to have followed me that I’d lost none of my speed. It was a small field mouse and as my jaws caught it, the mouse played dead. I realised to my relief it was a mouse I’d caught before and had asked to play dead in exchange for it’s life. From the corner of my mouth I spoke to Frisk “Do you really fink anyone oo cud catch a mouse vis fasht is not boss at home?” I didn’t wait for his reply but went indoors. Inside I made sure I avoided the screaming Longlegs and went straight to an open clearway and dropped the mouse outside again. “You’re lucky I didn’t bite” I said “now why not find somewhere else to live?”

I went to the room for sitting and stood before the cage where the rats live. Hmm, daylight, they’re asleep I thought. I called out.”Hey rats, come on out and talk for a minute”.
Two heads duly appeared followed by two bodies that stretched out from sleep and lastly came two tails, huge long hairless things.
“What do you want?” said Rat 1
“Is it food time?” said Rat 2.
” Stop thinking about your stomach Penny ” said Rat 1 “it’s almost dragging on the floor.”
“Listen” I told them, “I want a truce and a little favour!
“Have you got anything to eat?” said the one called Penny”even a little tail would do.” and I swear there was a little snigger there.
I picked up one of their chocolate drops between my teeth and leaned towards the cage. Penny came to take it and as she did I caught one of her whiskers. “Ouch”she said.
“Perhaps it’s time I made meal of something “I said and let go.
“I repeat, what do you want” said Rat 1.
“As we both have to live here, I suggest we make the best of it” I replied, “but, as you have your own little kingdom here and I have mine everywhere outside your home, if you help me regain my good name I’ll agree to leave you in peace.”
“Sounds reasonable” said Rat1 “so what’s the favour you want?”
“I need to carry one of you outside in my mouth to show I’m still the Superior here. After I’ve been seen I’ll bring you back unharmed.”

Rat 1 whispered to Rat 2 before turning back to me and saying. ” We agree. You can carry Penny out and I’ll watch to make sure you keep your word.”
Clever, I thought, making sure that one made sure she was safe. Easy to see who was the brains. When I opened the cage and Penny came towards me it was easy to see who was the stomach too.
I took her in my teeth and carried her outside. We were approaching the gate where Ginger and Frisky were still sitting when Penny said quietly ” Is there anything to eat out here?”
I shushed her and lay her inert body on the ground near Frisky. ” So the rats rule the roost do they? Here’s one that doesn’t and the other one is next.”
“Sorry Oscar” said Frisky ” you’re obviously still in charge.”
“Right”I said “I’ll leave this as a gift for my Longlegs” and carried Penny back inside. My jaw was relieved when I was able to set her down. It’s obvious rats don’t do diets. As a thank you I got two grapes from the room for food and brought them to the cage. I saw Rat 1 say thanks and start to eat while Penny ran with hers to the base to hide it and then come back to the top.”Come on Amy” she said, “share with me, after all, I was the one who went out.”
“Yes” said Amy “you did” and handed over her grape. Penny started eating and Amy ran down to get the one Penny had hidden to eat herself. “Oh , you’ve got another one ” said Penny, “that’s good.”
“Truce over Ladies ” I said, “from now on I’m the Superior round here and if you behave there’ll be more food. I left them eating their grapes.

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Strange Start to the Day.

3/4/2012

Something strange is going on. I can’t quite put my paw on it but my whiskers are bristling and that’s a sure sign. Of course it could also mean that a great wet is coming from the sky as well, but I don’t think it’s that.

We all know I creep into this room once my ‘The Him’ has left so I can leave a note for all my fans out there who understand how to treat Superiors and like to know what I’m doing.

Let me start by saying I got up this morning and all seemed fine, well as fine as it can be with two interlopers in the house. I refuse to call them guests since I certainly didn’t invite them. There really are times when the Longlegs shouldn’t be allowed out on their own. Still, I’m sure I got my message across to them the other day and they won’t tangle with me in a hurry. Anyway, I was up. I didn’t feel like walking in the direction of the lounge just then so I thought I’d pay a little visit to my ‘The Him’. I was shocked to find he was already up too and working on the writing box that I ‘borrow’ to speak to you all. As I got closer I could hear him huffing and puffing as his fingers tapped harder and harder. P L E A S E S T O P S E N D I N G M E H O R O S C O P E S he stamped out saying it out loud as he wrote. I have no idea what they are but anything starting with horror can’t be good. He saw me and leaned down “Hello Oscar old boy” he said, “do you want your breakfast?” And without being asked too.

He carried my dishes through the lounge to the food room, passing by the cage with the rats as I followed him. He put the thing on that makes water hot and then instead of scratching my ears while we waited he took some crunchy things from a packet and went to feed the rats FIRST!! BEFORE ME!!!!!!! His paw was at a funny angle passing things through the bars and before I could warn him that he’d get pulled into the cage, one of them took the titbit from his pinched fingers as the other one got a grip on another finger with her teeth. I expected a squeal, either from him at the pain or her as he squashed her for her cheek, but no, he laughed and said “Patience Penny, yours is here” and gave her a treat. He’s obviously gone mad or they’ve hipnippertised him.

He did my dishes and gave me breakfast. Then I saw him put some bread on to brown for himself and make himself a drink. He carried my dishes through and I left him to his meal while I had mine. As I came back there he was feeding them the crusty bits. I left in disgust and went to see my ‘The Her’.

I had just settled down when my ‘The Him’ came through with a drink and a plate of browned bread. “Thank you Dear ” she told him, “but please take it through to the lounge and I’ll join you there so I can feed the girls the crusts.” He swivelled round and headed back saying “Righto my Dear”. The world has gone rat mad. Do they not know these are rodents in the house of a Superior? It’s unheard of, or at least it should be.

After a little nap I went through to ‘borrow’ the writing box to tell you all of the indignities I’m suffering and there on the place where I tap I found hair. Rat hair, where I work. Please don’t tell me they’ve escaped. But I looked carefully about and couldn’t see them. I made my way to the lounge and there they were still caged up. I was just breathing a sigh of relief when they noticed me. One of them smirked while the other one just put her head down and crunched into a peanut shell. It was very unnerving.

I’ve come straight back through to tell you all about it as I don’t understand how these hairs got from that room to this and up onto the table where this box sits. If anyone has an answer please let me know, and if anyone would like two rats just let me know.

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