Oscar gets a kitten?


    I’ve seen it but I don’t believe it. It’s uncanny just how silly my Longlegs can be the minute I let them out of my sight.

    It was three lights ago when I saw them heading out of the clearway to their chariot. My ‘The Her’ even shouted goodbye but I was too busy yawning and stretching to respond properly, I did however send a thought in their direction that I required some nice fresh chicken. Sometimes they’re quite clever and catch the thought, other times they’re just so obtuse it a crime.

I occupied my time properly while they were out with sleeping, stretching and sleeping some more. After all, you must be very careful not to overdo things there days. I was lying on my ‘The Hers’ sleeping place basking in the warm light that comes through the clearway as I didn’t want to go through to where she has those rats of hers. They can be very rude sometimes. Anyway, I have no idea what she sees in them at all and should really be reprimanding her for not being available whenever I want her. Even my ‘The Him’ seems to have more time than she does. There will have to be a reckoning soon.

Some time passed and the light had moved a bit. I roused myself as there was a need for food. Roast rat on a stick appealed but there was no chance of that. Just then the clearway opened. In came my ‘The Him’ carrying what looked like a kitten box followed by my ‘The Her’ saying “Hello my baby, see what Mummy has got, Such a surprise.”
“It is a kitten ” I thought, ” but she’d better be referring to some nice tender chicken or else”………. She wasn’t.                                                                                                                         Bags of shopping were strewn everywhere in their food room but nothing came out for me. Instead they gathered round the cages in the room of seats and started making the strangest cooing noises. My ‘The Him’ ran out and came back with a new cage like that of a Chinese bird, sat down, opened the cage door and proceeded to place some pieces of paper and food inside. My ‘The Her’ opened the kitten box. I was about to tell her no kitten was going in a cage in my home when out of the box she drew ‘Another Rat’. Not just any ordinary rat either, it was obviously a kitten and quite small but it’s ears, Ohh it’s ears, they were big. I’m talking BIG here. They were like conch shells sticking out. Already I’m alternating between boredom and anger. After all, what need have we of another rat? What need have we of ANY rats I ask.

They spent more time putting the creature now called Bernadette in the cage and trying to stroke it before standing the cage on top of the big cage with the Cruella sisters in. I’m half past bored now so I wandered off to the food room. I could smell no chicken for which there will be payment but I did manage to find a rather nice parcel of ham which tided me over till tea time. I even felt so much better when I heard the squeal later ” Julia, that cat, YOUR cat has had my lunch”. Soooo satisfying.

Anyway, I’ve decided not to let them out of my sight for a while. Three rats in the house is three rats too many albeit one is too young to  be rude yet. I’m waiting till they realise that it’s chicken or nothing next time. And in the meantime I’m going to occupy the knee of one or other of them and get all the attention I can.


Filed under Humour, Uncategorized

58 responses to “Oscar gets a kitten?

  1. Aww, poor dear Oscar. 🐱 Thanks for another cat-tastic tail… tale, David. Mega hugs.

  2. Very trying day for Oscar. Thanks, David!

  3. Makes me laugh, another rat, oh the indignity! Not even any chicken. Well Oscar certainly must have the patience and temperament of a saint❤❤😍😍😍another enjoyable time with Oscar. Massive hugs my friend ❤

  4. Another enjoyable tale thank you David 🙂

  5. Poor Oscar…how could he possibly think that it would be anything other than a kitten…no wonder he needed the ham to tide him over…

  6. First child syndrome. Always difficult. 😉

  7. Getting to be a rattling crowd for Oscar 😀 Massive hugs, David

  8. I love Oscar’s attitude! Ha ha. Where are our kitten pics, David? :-)))

  9. Oscars household is growing in leaps and bounds. I wonder when the reckoning will come 🙂

  10. I can’t believe how cruel they are to you, Oscar. At least you swiped the ham before they could take that away from you. ❤

    • I can’t believe the cat gets the sympathy. I/We never once stopped feeding him or fussing him and still my lunch gets pinched and he just gets encouraged. It’s Poor David really.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  11. Bernadette is lovely name! How funny for the cat now.

    • Just Priya to go now for the full house. We named them all from the female characters in The Big Bang Theory. Bernie was my best friend, so gentle.Oscar missed out with his Cattitude.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  12. I wonder how a new kitten would have fared with Oscar. I don’t think our cats would like a kitten–or rats.

    Hugs, David!

  13. P.o.o.o.o.r. Oscar. Another mouth to feed and no chicken for him. And less time for him now too. o_O 🙂

    • I’m sure Oscar had the ‘Fake News’ people working for him. The same ones Trump moans about. The ‘other’ mouth ate something he didn’t and he still got chicken plenty of times, even ham off me sometimes without having to steal it. Look away now people, nothing to see, no P.o.o.o.o.r Oscar here.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  14. Poor David! I can’t imagine the taste of stolen ham, but Oscar obviously enjoyed it.

    xxx hammy hugs xxx

  15. Ali Isaac

    Brilliant story, David! So well written. I love Oscar, he’s the epitome of cattiness… not in a nasty way, but in the nature of cats. So disdainful, so superior and so funny. 😁

    • Thanks Robert but this is all past tense so the rose tinted glasses are on. One thing though, Bernie loved me and I her. She was an absolute dream rat, intelligent, loving and even Oscar couldn’t hate her.

  16. I do so admire Oscar’s fortitude; it’s one hell of a ninth life…

  17. The comments here had me cracking up almost as much as the story. Poor, poor Oscar😿 Thanks for the giggles. Sending you ginormous HUGS!💗

  18. Another one of Oscar’s tales that has me smiling, David. I can’t quite believe how well he took having a third rat in the household. I’m guessing the ham made up for it? And that name for the other two rats – The Cruella Sisters – classic 😀
    Wishing you a huggable weekend.

    • Thanks so much Hugh. With the Grand Theft of my ham, I wouldn’t say he too the news that well. I’m afraid his believed suffering isn’t over yet. I don’t know how he could call Penny and Amy such names when they’re much gentler than a cat……unless a certain cat messes with them.
      xxx Sending Massive Hugs xxx

  19. Wasn’t it fun to share your house with all these animals? Of course you could not have ham laying around… I love the way you write about that ham episode from Oscar’s perspective that definitely differs from one of your own 😉
    Many Hugs! xxxxxx

    • There are more to come yet Inese. At least by this time the 7 fish tanks had gone ranging from 4ft long down to 2 ft long and housing some very large fish.including Olive a ten inch Oscar who loved me and jumped out of her tank (through the lid) and landed on my bed.I was in bed at the time. ( Forward little madam).
      Oscar once came casually towards me and pinched the ham from my sandwich. I was lulled into a false sense of security. My perspective and his definitely differ.
      xxx Sending Huge Hugs xxx

      • Olive did what?? Clearly security was an issue in your home… Anyway, she was lucky that Oscar was not around. xxxx

      • Oscars are such powerful fish when they swim they can really pick up speed in a short space. She came out with such force she brought the whole lid off the four foot tank as she herself came through the feeding slot. The crash was tremendous and there at the bottom of my bed lay a fish bleeding from cuts and gasping. I shot out of bed fortunately lacking the same force, grabbed her with both hands and got her back in the tank. I put the lid back on which carried the lighting unit and Olive was swimming round like nothing had happened. As I knelt down to get a better look she came to the glass for our usual kiss. I swear she was feeling frisky that night. There were no lasting affects except to my nerves.
        We had tried her in a tank with a male Oscar (imaginatively called Oscar) but the two had gone to war from the moment they met and I feared for the tank walls.Hence my nighttime companion.
        xxx Huge Hugs xxx

      • What a story! You have nerves of steel. I would have screamed my head off.
        Many Hugs! xxxx

  20. Oscar is great, but (what I want to know is) are those beautiful children yours?

  21. I do love Oscar! Thanks for the smile you brought to my face tonight. Hugs!

  22. Hilarious! I’d write more, but one of my own dear calicos is banging against the side of my leg demanding attention. Sorry, gotta go! 🙂 Meeeeeow…

  23. This was purr-fect, dear David! Guess that goes without saying because you offered it, but it still should be said.
    Massive furry hugs xoxoxox

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