Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday Dear Oscarrrr, Happy Birthday to me. I fully intend this to be true.
When the day arrives I shall celebrate it as I always do, very quietly. You may think that we Superiors are unaware of such thing as birthdays but you’d be wrong. We have great expectations of the day in terms of what gifts the Longlegs present us, especially in view of the fact that sometimes their health depends on it. This being quite a significant day for me, I shall expect lots of attention and many gifts of toys , catnip and my chocolate drops. I shall be hoping that no-one makes the error of trying to buy me clothes as the Longlegs kitten once did. I am a Superior, I have my dignity and wearing a knitted jumper with a witty term on it is only going to get me into fights when someone laughs at it.No, the main reason I shall be spending the day quietly has to do with my friends. Ginger, Gizmo and the rest. If they find out it’s my birthday they’ll want to come and hold a party at which all my food and treats would be eaten. Selfish? Maybe. Survival? Maybe not, but it feels like it. Some of my friends have voracious appetites and I doubt My ‘The Her’ would welcome having her foodstocks disappear, actually I doubt she’d be pleased to find my gang in the house together at all. There have been one or two other occasions where some of them have been here and she was not impressed. Some of them are a little more casual than I about toilet needs.
My ‘ ‘The Him’ found that someone had tried to scent mark a few corners in some of the rooms and for a while thought it was me. Of course he eventually realised I don’t do that and since this is my home I don’t need to claim ownership. I think the problem was that I had to try and erase the marks with my own smell while he was scrubbing to get rid of them himself.
So, I’m reminding all you Longlegs out there that you’re welcome to wish me a Happy Birthday at the right time and letting you know that pieces of beef or cooked chicken are always welcome. I would ask though that you please keep quiet in front of your own Superiors in case the word gets out. I shall take the gang on a walk and check to see if the FurstyFerret has any food left to cool near an open clearway so my pals don’t go hungry but I shan’t be telling them why until afterwards when it’s too late.