I hate to say this, but I want to be 100% clear on it. Longlegs tell lies. For a long time I always gave them the benefit of the doubt. Times like when I was taken to see the hefty Longlegs in the white coat, only to be told by My ‘The Her’ “This won’t hurt Oscar, there’s a good boy” just before the fiend in white stuck a very long needle in my rump and it DID hurt like mad, or at least stung badly. Or perhaps the times like My ‘the Him’ tried to blow a worming tablet down my throat just before I sneezed. He said it would do me good but my sneeze sent it back up the pipe and he swallowed it. Well it didn’t do me any good at all then did it?
The worst of all is the holiday. That’s the word they use when I’m not going to see them for a few light times and dark times and they put me in prison. I mean, I may have been a little mean sometimes, but only when I want to be. Maybe I shouldn’t wake My ‘The Him’ up from sleep the way I do sometimes but I need a laugh don’t I? And maybe I was a little wrong to grip his chest when he was carrying me and then continue gripping it as I slid down when he let go. Perhaps I am a little mean to use their foot furs as a teaching aid, but if I didn’t pee in them how would they learn not to upset me? Anyway, the holiday. It’s cruel to put me in prison where I can’t keep an eye on my domain.Excuse me a moment.
Ah, that memory made me feel so bad I thought I’d better remind My ‘The Him’ to be nice to me, and his foot furs were so handy. Again, back to the holiday. Their kitten has married and gone away so their two Superiors Millie and Maddie have gone on holiday too. Only they haven’t if you see what I mean since they’ve been sent to prison and my Longlegs did the dirty deed. Two nicer Superiors you couldn’t find, well naturally, since we’re related, and they don’t deserve this. I’m at a loss. Should I carry food to them, should I break them out or should I just embark on a new training programme for my Longlegs to show them how displeased I am?
After all, what’s the point of all the lies since we always get to the truth in the end. And we Superiors don’t lie. We didn’t really understand the concept until we befriended Longlegs. If we say we Love You, then we Love You though sometimes we can be a little crosspatch about it. If we say you’ll pay for something you’ve done, it’ no lie, we’ll get round to it sometime, even if we give the impression we’ve forgotten. Actually we never forget. It’s not elephant’s memories you need worry about.
So for any Longlegs out there looking in. STOP LYING TO US ! And for all my faithful Superior friends, make sure you punish your Longlegs for any lies they tell, especially to you and for Bastet’s sake don’t listen if the Longlegs in the white fur tells you it won’t hurt.
Caught in the Act.
I think she’s eyeing up my toast.
Congratulations Canada on your 150th birthday.
I hope my American friends can enjoy heir 4th July on Tuesday. Many won’t feel like celebrating but you have to show you’ve not been broken by the things that are happening in your Country. Those of you that have not given way to all the different hates, skin colour, religion, refugees, same sex partners and even the press must go on to show you’re still the same caring people you always were.
Have a wonderful new week. May your spirits be raised and hugs be aplenty. Share a smile if you can and improve someone’s day.