Tears on my Pillow

Monday.

Last night I was tired and prepared to sleep as long as sleep held me though in reality I knew I wouldn’t want to sleep beyond 4.00 am. So when I woke and got out of bed 3.59 am was flashing on my clock as it was on the kitchen clock when I got in there. I think there’s making a point and then there’s making a point. It hadn’t been the best sleep in the wold but I was satisfied and here was plenty of time to work which is what I did as soon as breakfast and the meds were done and I had coffee in hand raring to go.               I carried on until 8.35  am when I decided to get dressed but not until Joey’s yelling reminded me that he hadn’t got fresh seed and water and nor was his cage door open.       Darren the postman delivered two parcels this morning and then another one he found in his van ten minutes later. More Christmas prezzies dealt with but I mustn’t get complacent as there’s along way to go.                                                                                             I made lunch at 12.00 noon as the nurse hadn’t been in the morning. It was 12.15 am and I was halfway through eating it when she arrived. Bummer. We got sorted and she was really happy with progress. We’re going to carry on with daily changes. After she left I finished the meal off and took my tablets, watched the end of Bargain Hunt, washed up and then checked my eyelids were still working. I slept till 2.15 pm then came to catch up until 4.40 pm I stayed away until 9.00 pm then came for the last catch up of the day till 11.45 pm.

Tuesday.

I read until almost 12.30 a last night.  One last nip to the loo and as I came back I kicked the box adjoining the cables to laptop from electric charge. It was full on my big toe on the left foot which as you know looks like a war zone. I flopped down on the bed and buried my face in the pillow I’m not sure whether they were tears of pain or frustration that were drawn for a minute. Once the throbbing stopped I fell asleep. I woke at a much kinder 4.15 am than usual. Somnos is giving me a period of grace it seems but the time is still not good enough to say ‘don’t hurry’.                                                                                  After my meds and my breakfast I worked with my coffee until 7.31 am when there was a slight lull in proceedings. It felt cheeky given how late I’d woken but I still went through to my chair in the lounge. I recycled 40 Z’s but it only took me to 7.50 a.m. I decided I might as well do something useful and sorted my Christmas cards ready to write. About an hour later I returned to work proper. The postie brought me just one parcel today. Tomorrow will be good as I’m expecting some for Mike as well I think. I waited for the nurse but it looked as though they were going to be late again. Maybe I’d have chance to eat my dinner but no, a ring of the bell and two arrived. One I’ve seen before and she’s nice but the other one was quite vicious. Guess which one was doing my feet. A constant sound of sharp intakes of breath and feet jerked followed by an apology followed by repeat above. Some skin may well have been ready to come off but it wasn’t being asked  politely it was being ripped off. The number of times I said ouch she must have thought it a foreign language for carry on I’m enjoying this. I was not.She decided to dress the legs in just loose stockinette for some reason which left my toes open.                  They left at 12.14 pm just as Bargain Hunt started and I had to rush and make my lunch before they got too far. I had a message to say ‘Thank You’ from a friend whose blog often provided me with my hilarity for the day. He’s a funny man and certainly has no need to thank me. https://youvebeenhooked.wordpress.com/. I worked till 3.00 pm then had a little skive till 3.45 pm then at 4.0 pm I gave up work till 9.00 pm and came back and paid the price. At the end of the night a read until 12.30 am. Sleep came easily.

Wednesday.

I think Dawn was 3.43 am this morning but I was still tired and sent her home. No way I was getting back to sleep now. Had my meds, ate some of my breakfast and brought my one-a-day coffee back to work. At 8.15 am I knocked off for a bit, hoping for 40 winks in my chair I managed about 20 before the first of a constant stream were at the door. The gas man wanted to read the meter, poor souls had no idea where it was when I invited him in. He was very good and cleared a space for himself and his mirror on a stick. Bert from next door came as did the postman and then a parcel delivery (for Mike) all leading up to the nurse who appeared at 11.30 am. Unlike yesterday this one actually dressed my legs fully and not just with stockinette. I can see just how much they’v improved and the feet are pretty dry now but even with the ‘Peelers’there are still a lot of growths of skin to clear.                                                                                                                                                      After I’d had my lunch and Bargain Hung had finished I undertook a survey of my inner eyelids that took just over an hour to satisfy me they worked. It was time to play catch up with the work. Another parcel delivered (proof there’s no rest for the wicked I suppose) and at 4.25 pm when Dil arrived I was up to date. He’s really learned how to cheat well. I couldn’t best him at the Yahtzee and it ended up a draw 6 games each. I beat him at Nomination Whist but he bested me at Cribbage so he headed home with honours even again. It happens too often, I piled back into work mode which kept me until 20 minutes past midnight before I was able to get a short read ready for sleep.

Thursday.

Despite reading till 1.00 am an waking at 3.08 am I think I had a touch of genius last night.

If he likes that and it raises his profile I could be free at last and ready to get my own good night’s sleep.                                                                                                                                 Well he should have had the idea by now, with luck I should get an answer by tomorrow. Once I’d dealt with my drugs and breakfast, I took my fresh coffee through to the bedroom to start. Among other things was a reminder from Yvonne that she and Amelie will be coming this morning. If we skip through all the mail and getting dressed we can get to the bit where they arrived. It was about 10.20 am and no matter how many times Yvonne said “Give pops a kiss” I was ignored by a little girl who’s grin just got wider and who kissed or hugged her Mum instead.                                                                                          The nurse arrived so I must still be on a daily call, liked what she saw, answered Yvonne’s queries, dressed both legs (properly) but only applied the iodine to one and left. Yvonne went out just before noon to get me some lunch. Amelie cried but I’m not sure whether she missed her Mum or her chocolate biscuits. Yvonne came back and Amelie was asking for ‘just one more’ of her mum’s lebkuchen biscuits. Her eyes lit up when I offered her a chocolate mousse, It was gone, demolished. I closed my ears in case I heard those fateful words. I finished my lunch and they left to go home. Apart from Joey the place was quiet.                                                                                                                                      I nodded off but was woken by my cleaner arriving. It reminded me to do a bit of work. I worked until 4.30 pm when I gave up until 9.00 pm. Time to catch up. 11.35 pm off to bed to read.

Friday.

I tuned my light off at midnight and threw myself around a couple of times to find the best position for comfort. I was soon away in the land of Nod. It was 3.35 am before I woke which was great. I went through to the kitchen, took my meds then started filling the trays for the next week. I had pills rolling everywhere as my hands shook and I dropped them, the job seemed to take forever. That done (finally) I had some Weetabix for breakfast (one job even I couldn’t mess up)(OMG if you could only see my two fingered typing this morning, the spelling is atrocious ). I took the last two diabetic tablets and went to make my coffee……or so I hoped. It was a red light job meaning twenty minutes spent on cleaning the machine with a descaling tablet. Only it wouldn’t start. AAaaaargghh, I ended up turning it off then on again only to find it wasn’t requesting a clean now so I re-inserted my coffee pod and started again. I was half an hour sitting at my desk before I realised I hadn’t even drunk it. Duh!                                  The Nurse visited at 11.30 am today. I was just in the process of stripping my leg (tastefully of course) when the front door went. It was the chemist with a new course of treatment. I have to slap it on, cover my leg with clingfilm, bake for half an hour then remove the clingfilm and throw it away. No-one has yet told me what I’m to do with the legs. I carried on back to the nurse who knew nada. She dressed both legs but without the iodine today as she said it’s all dry, Perhaps on Monday I won’t need dressings and can even fit a shoe on again.                                                                                                                Mike arrived early afternoon sarcasm dripping from his chin, no change there then except I had to get him a tissue. I tried to keep abreast of the work during the afternoon until I quit at my usual 4.30 pm. We had a good evening which included a hair wash and a flannel bath for the rest of me at the sink. Even the mirror blushed.

Saturday.

I was up at 1.28 am after hearing a noise. After stumbling about for a few minutes trying to decide which towel to wear for secrecy I found my way back to bed where I decided I needed more sleep. I got some until 3.20 am when I was less confused. I did a walk round to gather paper for the recycling then had my normal meds. I got the diabetic meds together  with some milk and had my breakfast. I made a coffee and brought it back here to work at 3.55 am. At 6.00 am I made Mike’s coffee but thought I’d gone deaf until I realised the beggar hadn’t set his alarm. That meant it was my job. We had a good morning’s shopping when we went out at 7.00 am but I’m still no nearer getting more Christmas prezzies. The weather was so foul today with rain throughout the night then snow about 5.30 am followed by rain all day, so we decided to come home after lunch. There was a message to go to the hospital at 2.00 pm tomorrow, so much for a free weekend. I caught up on my mail during the afternoon and my sleep during the evening. no wonder he’s complaining about my company. Restart work at 9.00 pm to 11.30 pm.

Sunday.

Light out at midnight. Not a very long read but enough.I was drained from the pain in my right foot. I’m sure I got up once in the night and maybe had a conversation with a female. I definitely got up at 3.41 am and somebody had moved some of the rooms about. Then no they hadn’t, I was just confused. I put the light on in Mike’s room to see if anyone was there and there was, but luckily for me he didn’t wake. I went to the kitchen for my meds and some breakfast but found I had put the toast on first so had to hurry with my meds. Then my toast came out like French toast, with just one side browned and I had to work out which way to put them back in to brown the other side. A freakin’ disaster of a morning. Things can only get better………..                                                                 I caught up with my mail and remembered to drink my coffee. I did a couple of searches and I also had a rummage in Ebay for my still difficult Christmas prezzies. At 10.00 am I put the kettle on in the hopes Mike would soon be up. He made it by twenty past which wasn’t too bad. We couldn’t think of anything specific we wanted to do in the morning so we left at 11.30 am for Prestatyn and lunch. The beef was to die for. We came straight back to Holywell afterwards rather than go round shops in Prestatyn, it meant we could better gauge the time before leaving for the hospital. I managed to get a toy for my last great nephew, if only his Mum and Dad were as easy to buy for. We were at the hospital just before 2.00 pm and I didn’t have long to wait. I’m wondering if this is the last time I’ll have my legs dressed with the new treatment starting this week. We came home and watched a Christmas film that had us both throwing sarcastic remarks out. Mike left at 5.00 pm to go home while I spent time catching up on my mail.

May you all have the nicest of weeks in the change from November to December. Give smiles where you can and hugs where you will. Share a thought for all those people in refugee camps throughout the world and if you have a little cash to spare…….. there are also many people in prison in countries with few human rights, people who want to see some form of democratic change and a lot of journalists. Places like Saudi Arabia and Turkey which has undergone a radical change under Erdogan. Possibly the kind of changes the U.S. may follow as journalists are ridiculed.                                                            Look after yourselves.                                                                                                                             Huge Hugs