I need your vote. NRA need not apply.

This morning I decided to revive a dream of mine to be voted Dictator of the World. It will be a benevolent dictatorship (provided you obey the rules) sort of like Terry Pratchett’s Patrician of Ankh Morpork.  Since I’ll ask nicely for your votes I’m going to assume they’ll be forthcoming, if not, I know where you are. There will never need to be another election since I shall select my successor from somewhere out there. It could be YOU! There will obviously be some rules which are not optional like they would be in a democracy, after all it was the last democracy that voted me in.                                                    So, lets start with guns. I want them all handing in. No, not tomorrow, now. There will be no guns in private hands again. The only people who can carry them are professional hunters, to take care of any wild hippos on the loose,maybe the police, but heaven help an officer who manages to shoot someone coming at him in the back. I might accept a wounding of a miscreant trying to escape. The military can have pseudo weapons for parade purposes but any border disputed will henceforth be settled by opposing chess champions playing best of 7, no more or we’d fall asleep watching. So here’s your biggest chance since 1066 France, you can own England if you have a good champion. Beware if you haven’t though as you’ll start having to get used to English cuisine. Yes, I hear you laugh at that. You don’t get to own Wales of course which is now promoted back to Kingdom, modesty forbids me from saying who gets to be king though maybe I’ll heal some wounds by giving it to Charles. The Union flag will have to be redesigned to include a Welsh element now which should always have been there. King Hywel Dda contributed much to British law after all.

Jerusalem, I suggest you start training your chess players now as I imagine plenty of countries will want a piece of you. Of course they have to do it all peacefully and you cannot be transplanted. It might be a good idea if you started your builders to rebuilding all the properties taken and have the displaced people reinstated on their lands. You’re all from the same stock so learn to live together.Arabs…..play nice, I’m watching.              Women are hereby accorded full and equal rights with men. That includes pay at work and promotion opportunities. Regretfully as there are now more people than there are jobs women will be expected to resign when they leave to have a baby unless they are taking no more than two weeks off. It’s unfair that an employer pays you for an absence and has to pay for a replacement to cover you too. I will be generous with maternity allowances if you resign. Who knows, maybe someone else will be leaving to have a baby if you decide to return to work.                                                                                                          Gay people the world over will be accorded the same rights as other people which includes the right of marriage. I suggest all fundamentalists learn to keep their opinions private as  their narrow minded prattle is most annoying.                                                        If  while I’m writing this President Trump has had his image carved at Mount Rushmore, it’s OK you can be sure it’s not staying. I may just have his name expunged from all records to keep the electorate from feeling embarrassed ever again. Now if there happens to be an itinerant sculptor with time on his hands who wants to fill a space at Mt. Rushmore……………….                                                                                                                     Parents will be responsible for teaching their children all about hugs and how good they are. And tolerance plus respect will be something they can instill in children so they have it for the future.

Have a wonderful week.


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84 responses to “I need your vote. NRA need not apply.

  1. I could get behind this. Border disputes maybe settled by football matches — a physical component needed. Or maybe ice hockey? Canadians would love that one, despite our problems at the recent Olympics. The Kingdom of Hugs sounds good.

    • I don’t know how I managed to forget the last one Audrey as I don’t usually forget hugs at all. Yes, I think we could have border disputes settled by Ice Hockey, I’m sure the team would win if the U.S. was trying to claim Canada,
      xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

  2. I wouldn’t expect many votes from the Israelis or from Donald Trump and family It sounds better than most campaign promises. 🙂 — Suzanne

    • I can probably manage without their votes. Without Russian money to bail him out Trump will go broke and disappear. The Israelis will find enough of them want peace anyway so will be OK with me.
      xxx Ginormous Hugs xxx

  3. I will vote for you. Hopefully you can solve the homeless situation in New York city. Slowly but surely New York city is becoming a Charles Dickens novel. Then there’s the rat problems. Serious rat infestation. Finally get rid of the touchy feely grabby guys who sexually harass women.
    Last week I had a horrible experience with a car service driver. Via which is like Uber. When he pulled over on a dark street I thought I was dead. Only by the Grace of God I got out the car in one piece.

    • Thank you DeBorah, I’ll do what I can with New York. I’ll start with bringing down the cost of renting but I’ll have the city commit to building some nice but cheap rental properties to use as social housing. I don’t yet know how to deal with the rats, poison I expect. The grabby guys who harass women will find themselves with immediate heavy fines if the charge proves real. Your experience last week was horrible, in future anyone who does something like that with receive fair sentences in court. I’m glad you survived it.
      xxx Mega Hugs xxx

      • Great! You have my Vote. By the way, you won’t have to build too much new housing as New York city is full of abandoned buildings that just need to be renovated.

      • Brilliant, can I make you Commissioner of renevating the old properties and bringing them up too standard.My only stipulation, don’;t use a Trump building firm.
        xxx Ginormous Hugs DeBorah xxx

      • 😀😁😂🤣😃😄😅😉😉😊😺😸😻🐱🐱🐱🐱

      • I just saw the question about maternity leave how about Fully paid family leave that covers siblings so I can spend more time with my brother Stephen.

      • Actually maternity leave should be renamed Family leave. I know many people caring for elderly parents as well as disabled siblings or children.
        My brother Stephen group home residence nor his training center is properly funded. That means I either do fundraising or pay out of pocket for certain things he needs or wants. Siblings pick up when parents pass away.

      • If someone is the sole carer for say elderly parents in their home I’d love to grant them a paid holiday break with cover provided. Where a care home provides the day to day care it wouldn’t be possible to do that but it would be possible to look at making sure Training Centres are properly funded. I know that wouldn’t help you spend ore time with Stephen but maybe it would leave more of your money in your own pocket.
        Happy Birthday
        xxx Huge Hugs xxx

      • Thanks for the Birthday wishes and greetings. Cute Birthday card.
        You have some great plans.

  4. I’m in! David for Dictator of the World! 👍👍👍

    Does that come with free wi-fi? 😁😁😁

  5. You get my vote on everything but the maternity leave issue. How about an equal parental leave to be shared by both parents with the tab picked up by the state? And I’ll start boning up on my chess — no chance the French are going to want ‘les rosbifs’ doing the cooking! xx

    • I might extend the maternity leave period and share it how the parents want it but I’ll have to see if the state can afford to cover that in full, I’m also trying to balance it for employers who have to pay staff to cover maternity leave who obviously can afford it if the state is picking up the tab.
      I was sure the French wouldn’t want English cooking though a piece of well cooked beef is glorious.
      xxx Unlimited Hugs xxx

  6. You will get my vote too, David 😀

  7. Ha, ha! I am sold. You’ve got many winning points dear Dictator except the maternity side of things. Are we allowed to the negotiating table? 🙂

  8. One man, one vote, once.
    Looking forward to the French losing at chess and being introduced to decent food.

  9. Jane Sturgeon

    You have my vote and please can we debate the maternity issue? We are all connected and hugs flow, bring it on…. ❤ xXxx ❤

    • Thanks so much Jane. Yes I think that particular issue can be debated though I do favour mothers (yes I know it sounds sexist so I’ll include fathers)staying at home with children until they’re at least five. Continuous interaction in the home is good for children at that age as is home cooked food. Parents can teach the child about hugs and all about tolerance.
      xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

      • Jane Sturgeon

        That would be a very interesting debate my lovely. When Em was three months old, my then husband found me holding her whilst I wept on the end of the bed. I couldn’t go back to work and hand her over every day. I promised that I would do something to bring the missed income in and I did. That’s where my self employed years started. I wouldn’t have missed that time with her for anything. It was my choice though and that doesn’t work for everyone. Hugs and connection…where would we be without them…..many hugs flowing across The Dee to you my lovely. Xxxxxxxxxx ❤

      • ❤ Gigantic Hugs ❤ back across the Dee ❤ to you Jane. Have a wonderful week.

  10. I’m afraid I couldn’t go for the maternity leave thing either. It sounds rather too much like get the women back in the kitchen to me. Employers have to pay someone to do a job so it makes no difference to them if it’s a fill in for a month or so. The state ie everyone pays maternity leave, and it doesn’t have to be ‘maternity’. There’s no reason it has to be the mother who stays at home in the baby’s first months. They are debating whether to make paternity leave obligatory here, to balance things up. Please revise this point David and I’ll willingly vote for you.

    • I did revise both the maternity leave issue a couple of times after requests and I have said that though I prefer women I will arrange for men to be able to do the duties of parent at home. Maternity leave is transferable. I still don’t want an employer liable for 6 months of full pay as well as having too pay a replacement. I’ll look at that again.
      xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  11. You have my vote. You also have my vote for best blog post of the year.
    xxx Humble Hugs xxx

  12. I hate guns and Trump so I’m in.

  13. If apes can vote, you’ll get mine, David – my Naughty Chimps would be happy to discuss things with nasty people for you 😃

  14. You have my vote, David. You will need to work out the maternity policy. How about this. Every employee gets a maternity allotment that is company paid. Let’s say full salary for six months. If it goes unused then it is added to the retirement package in the end. This way the company can accrue the benefit over time so there is no big hit to the bottom line and also deduct the benefit expense. Just a thought. It is gender neutral so the family can decide who and when the benefit needs to be taken.

    • You’re very kind John. That sounds like a formidable package but I still worry that if the company pays 6 months as ours do and lets the recipient stay at home for 12 months ( the state pay benefit for 6 months) the company still has to pay extra to cover the work. It also doesn’t open up more full time jobs and doesn’t allow the parent to stay at home with the baby during it’s formative years. This one may need more working on.

  15. I’ll be your campaign manager and work for nothing, Davis..:)

  16. I’ve been working on my campaign too, David. But now I can just vote for you. 🙂 Great post, my friend. Huge hugs and good luck! ❤

    • Hey, I really don’t mind job share, we both have to sleep.You get my vote anytime and will probably have better ideas than me.That way I might need less bodyguards.
      xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx ❤

  17. Hurrah! Well said. Gold star for you! – Marty

  18. YOU TOTALLY HAVE MY VOTE! King of the World and All You Survey!!!! Your ideas are smart, unlike the jackass buffoon who’s in the White House. Your ideas keep people alive. I like that. A lot. I’d turn in my guns if everyone else did. A gun-free world would be beautiful. Cops can use stun guns.
    You would be benevolent and wise.
    I shall lead your campaign!
    Loved it! Just what my insomniac brain needed!

    • Thank you Dear One. Yes, cops can use stun guns but I still want a bloody good reason if they do and it better not be because of colour. Maybe your next vlog might be your application for the job and what you’ll do. I could lead your campaign then. Sending you Hugs Galore xxxxxxx

      • You’re hired! And I couldn’t agree more! Living in America is like living in a surreal nightmare. I love the idea of removing bigotry and racism and guns from everywhere. I have no tolerance for stupidity. Unfortunately, it seems to be running rampant around here lately. Ugh. Well, I shall do my best to at least cheer people up with my foul mouth and low-cut shirts! 😉

  19. My vote boarding the plane on Saturday – off again to Croatia for a few weeks, so no sweat, just snow! You have my vote David. XX

  20. Goodness me, yes, David. You have my vote. No, have two. Damn it, you can have all the votes I can find (that is how a benevolent dictator ship works, isn’t it?). And hugs too, of course!

  21. I vote for your Dictatorship knowing that you will make me the next. Hahaha

  22. This is a wonderful manifesto -with you all the way… especially on the Israeli thingie…and the lost homes and villages… and chess is a wonderful idea…

    • Thanks so much Valerie. I think I’ve got votes from every Continent now so we’re all of a similar mind. Makes me wonder how we ever fight wars. I’ll let you know the date of the inauguration.
      xxx Massive Hugs xxx

  23. David, I would be pleased to offer you my vote as long as you promise to reconsider Charles as King of Wales. I would also like a large private estate, preferably in Cheshire, where I would be close enough to keep an eye on you. I wholly agree upon other issues such as equal rights for women, although my wife would have to be excepted as she is manifestly superior to me. About Chess – uncertain whether I am ready for a world ruled by Russian people, although they are quite nice, I’m sure. Oh, and bring back trial by combat – that’s always popular. Hugs

    • All I can say Frederick is…where in Cheshire would you prefer? I tend to agree about women’s superiority to us but they tend towards the generous mostly and would settle for parity where is counts so that’s the least I can do. So I should give up the trial by chess and go for trial by combat? I did think at one time that all wars should be settled by two champions fighting it out but you’d prefer it to be a more showy event complete with war horses and jousting? I dare say that could be arranged. The English should have the edge in that.

    • Thank you Charles.I’m thinking of declaring the World a Nature Reserve with no more fracking, and no more Offshore drilling. The only exception to the rule is on land where permission to grant rent restricted housing may be built. Low income families will be helped to get a mortgage to own them, but if they fail they can go back to paying rent to avoid eviction and homelessness.

  24. You got my vote, David.

  25. Dear David, so enjoyed reading, but due to the very late hour here, I will have to return to complete reading your adventures..Massive hugs xx

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