Might as well face it, I’m addicted to..fags.

Monday. Light off and ready to sleep at 12.36 am, and this morning rising was at 2.18 am not at all the fault of the cwtch sent to me yesterday as a sleep aid. We have between us possibly decided a reason for the short nights and stand ready to blame my addiction to tobacco and the need of the body to keep the levels topped up. This may be completely contrary to the truth of course as I have had longer nights without smoking and Michael who smokes as many cigarettes as I has no problem sleeping for over the eight hours if left alone. I accept we are different people though so the comparison may mean nothing nor the fact that he is older than I. I just like mentioning it.                                                        At 2.55 am I went through to the kitchen and put the washing machine on before taking my meds and having breakfast. Later I changed the machine to it’s drying cycle and left it, taking my coffee back to carry on working. Then of course I forgot all about the machine until I visited the kitchen at almost 9.00 am and everything was cold. Oops. It was almost 11.00 am before I actually got the post under control. I was expecting MuJo at any time between then and midday so I ran round spraying Febreeze where I could. The airspray onto the curtains and the fabric spray in the air, I’m sure it all evens out in the end. John came strolling down the path at 11.20 am and let himself in as I finished a piece of mail. I put my shoes on and went through to give him some biscuits to take home and two little spectacles cleaner devices. They’re very handy, cleaning both sides at the same time. They wear sunglasses a lot in  the car as well as glasses at home for reading. We were just about ready to go then so I threw my jacket on and grabbed my sticks. Within ten minuted we’d parked in town and were heading for John’s favourite charity shops (any that was open) before lunch. Three and an actual antique shop and we were over halfway down the street. I nipped into the old Town Hall to deliver some information on pension change for them to pass on for me then I joined MuJo at the antique shop where John had just bought himself a rapier. We went to lunch but he still used an ordinary knife.                                                                                                                 Afterwards we went to Flint as usual. While MuJo went inside the cafe straight away because of the cold I went to get the staff sweets and came back to a latte which Mu had ordered and paid for. We did a couple of shops after Tempies so Mu could get some birthday presents and by the time we’d done and driven home it was almost 4.00 pm. We went to collect the biscuits then I walked John back to the car for a goodbye cwtch from Mu. I ploughed straight into mail until 6.00 pm and then took a very drowsy break until 9.00 pm. Started work, now 11.49 and another 5 minutes should do it.

Tuesday. read until almost 12.30 am then light off. Woke at 2.32 am ready to do battle but I think poor Joey needs chance to recover yet. A quick check of my bank to make sure they haven’t run away then it was time for breakfast. Just so I can’t be accused of being predictable, I had my toast cold this morning and with jam on one slice. When I took my coffee back, I had a lot of mail to concentrate on.                                                                           I left the house at 7.00 am to catch my but but it sailed past me before I reached the stop. I walked back home to waste time before the next one but left the house an extra five minutes early. Typically I had to stand in the cold as this one was on time. I let Yvonne know I’d be half an hour later than usual and closed my eyes. After almost an hour and a half I arrived and had to bustle to meet them, I’d missed Reuben before he went to school. Amelie made up for it by almost bowling me over as she ran at me when I appeared an the cafe where they waited. We had  great morning together during which time I spent very little, and bought no clothes. I caught my bus home OK and stopped at the chippy on my way past sausage, chips, onion gravy and mushy peas. It didn’t take me long to plate up when I got in. I did remember to say hello to Joey as I turned the last of the news on. It was almost 2.00 pm before I got round to my mail and found a lot to be done. I did as much as I could and remain awake until giving up at 6.00 pm and then I can’t actually tell you what I did or what I watched until about 8.00 pm when I turned onto a Babylon 5 special I’d already missed an hour of. At 9.00 pm I turned the TV off, took my drugs then persuaded Joey to go back into his cage ( which is odd because I normally spend all day trying to get  him out). Currently 12.07 am and almost done but another ten minutes should see me clear. I’m not sure about reading tonight.

Wednesday. Despite everything I decided to read a  two chapters so my light didn’t go out until 12.48 am but at least I was relaxed and ready to sleep. The package never comes with a guarantee though so I found myself wide awake again at 2.18 am. It’s not like I can say “beggar this for a game of soldiers, I’m gonna turn over and go back to sleep.” I could do that if partially awake and thoroughly enjoy it but I go from sleep to wakefulness in zero seconds flat. I read a few poems and managed a few likes before the time for drugs and my latest fix came upon me. Before I took anything though, the bread went in the toaster. Today I will eat my toast fully cold and cover it in a tasty blanket of butter. That was delicious. I take the last two tablets and make myself a coffee which I bring back to my desk.                                                                                                                                                There is excellent news in my mail, British Gas have come to their senses and amended both my gas and electric payments, the gas from £83 per month to £36 and amended my electric from £34 to £31 per month that’s a saving of £50 per month in total and a great help towards other bills. One message I read this morning mentioned a group and a song I hadn’t heard of but which was obviously both popular and well known. Though there was a link to it on the post I decided to look directly on Youtube for further information. It appeared the song was from the early 80’s but I didn’t recognise it. There was a bit of a delay with my going in to comment on the post as I got sidetracked by Elbow- Beautiful Day and then another called Starlings. I really am quite addicted to the former song and love receiving a message on my phone just to hear the opening bars. I think I’m becoming addicted to the group too as they’ve made some great tracks. Eventually I found my way back to work and commented, then started on some more until at 5.40 am there was nothing more in my post box so I went to try and nod off in my chair. It worked and I roused myself again at 7.05 am. I worked on mail until 8.30 am then took a break to see to Joey and his clean food and water. I stayed away from work for a while and kept an eye open for the postman. No sign so I had another hour on the post then came out to start peeling potatoes.It must have been about 11.45 am when I heard a knock at the door. I walked in that direction and saw a parcel in the letterbox so I thought that’s what it was but there was still a shadow outside. I opened the door to find a nurse asking to take some of Darren’s blood, I thought it a great excuse to send her away but didn’t. The signs of suffering are still on me from last week with this great big bruise but she didn’t seem bothered, she didn’t even check Darren’s date of birth ( and you never know it might have been different) but fair play, she took a bit of a run up and threw, she got the vein in my arm the first time before it had chance to hide. She stuck a little plaster on with the sticky bit over the wound. After she left I breathed a sigh of relief then realised I’d let her go without chocolates for the staff room. It did occur to me that might have been why she came.                                                                                                 My lunch was enjoyable though unusual, sweet potato mash and bacon. I had a little nap as soon as Bargain Hunt was over. It lasted until 2.35 pm. I went back to work until 4.30 pm then went to prepare for Dil. Since he’s won the last twice I need the win tonight. When he arrived we watched the end of Flog It together while chatting about who’s been up to what and where. Then, my poor arm weak from blood loss couldn’t shuffle and deal well so he took advantage and yet again beat me by 2-1. The only redeeming thing is in the crib I didn’t beat him, I annihilated him. When he went home at 9.00 pm and left me a shell of the man I was, I returned to work. 11.45 now and 5 mins will see me done.

I read an extra chapter last night because I’m a rebel and I can. Light out 12.53 am. I was very pleasantly surprised this morning to wake at 3.47 am. So if I read two extra chapters tonight I wonder if I’ll gain another hour for that one? OK so I was a little later than usual with my meds but no big deal I took those then enjoyed my breakfast. I took my coffee back to the desk and remembered it’s a Thursday so went into the bank to be sure my state pension has gone in. It has so I can carry on with Ebay for a while. I wonder whose birthday it is next. I broke off at 10.00 am for my HUtH and halfway through I heard the post arrive. It was quite a large cardboard envelope so I knew it was a book I was expecting for Amelie. I tore into it and found some A4 sheets of paper and a book mark but no sign of the book. I upended it and out it came, about three and a half inches square, the bookmark was bigger than the book. I re-read the description and to be fair  it does say 86mm square and I just misread it. A knock at the doorbell and it was the podiatrist who is without doubt a lovely person, right up to the moment she gets a scalpel in her hands. I suppose she would have  described what she did as debriding, I call it torture and the Hague Convention forbids it. She clipped my toenails right down so they should last me for ages like this.                                                                                                         By the time she left, it was getting on for lunch time so I settled on one of my chips and curry sauces. I’d just finished washing up when the knocker rang again and this time Bert from next door was coming in for a general moan at the world. He’d not long gone when I passed the front door and I opened it surprising Sharon who cast all her stuff to the floor and rushed for the loo. Bus journeys affect us the same way. I let her get her usual cup of tea then she was ready to wash my hair. She has a a very light touch and refuses to scratch my head as I like it but my hair is still very soft by the time she’s done.I concentrated on my mail while Sharon got on with her cleaning. She’s not best pleased today having just been told she’s going to be a grandma. Some people just aren’t ready for that, it automatically ages them. At 3.00 pm I paid Sharon, gave her some chocolates to cheer her up and wished her goodbye. It had been raining but had stopped. I thought I’d watch Escape to the Country which is code for have a sleep but it was fairly local to me and so I became very interested. No kip. I went back to work until 5.15 pm intending to watch a quiz but instead found a comedy on elsewhere. I watched that then another comedy, Had a little work break then came back for Jessica Fletcher to unmask a murderer. Then what I’d been waiting for, A new episode of Big Bang Theory and a new episode of Sheldon, perfect.Timed just right to take my meds and come through for the night. 11.25 pm and I’m done for the night.

                                                                          Ignored.                                                                         Friday. Lights out 12.15 am after a couple of chapters and my last ciggie of the night. Up this morning at 2.46 am. On my way to the loo I glanced in Mike’s bedroom, I know he’s away but more and more these days I get to feel that someone is there or someone should be. I know it was Ju’s bedroom as well and I’m always conscious of it. Some people may think I obsess about her but it’s just that there are so many reminders of her about that trigger nice memories. Anyway, on to the kitchen where having just remembered what day it is, I start to take my drugs and then refill my pots for the next week. At the same time I ready a new prescription request to take in. When I next find myself in the surgery I must ask about the online requests for drugs and appointments that they’ve started again. I put two slices of bread in the toaster ready for when I finish and ready my cup for my morning coffee. I have 4 diabetic tablets to take with my breakfast, it’s like pudding but BFG tastes  better.                                                                   Back at my desk I turn the  computer on ( I just showed it a bit of leg) and gird my loins or lions if you’re dyslexic for the battle ahead. Actually 44 seems OK but I know more are coming even as I type the words. It was 8.17 am when I was able to get up and go for a wee. I’d really have been in trouble with more mail. It was time for a break so I went to sit in the lounge for a while. Joey wasn’t interested in a silent partner and just kept squawking whenever it seemed I was dropping off. In exasperation I ended up filling a few small bottles from my big bottles of Pepsi Max and then I left Joey to it and came back through. I wanted to see HUtH but more mail had come in so I only had time to see the last fifteen minutes or  so. Then I just dozed off regardless of Joey and didn’t wake until 12.10 pm. For some reason last weekend I’d bought a sweet and sour chicken meal with rice. I put it in the bing then gave it a stir half way and set it going again. I have to say I dislike rice intensely and nothing today changed my mind. I had to eat some of the rice to get at the sauce but rice on it’s own is like a sponge taking all the moisture from my mouth. Then you have to swallow it dry but in a clump. The sauce was tasty and I ate a couple of pieces of the chicken. Not an experiment I’ll want to rush into again.                 I returned to work after Bargain Hunt but intended to come back for Escape to the Country whether I had mail or not. When I did return I found it was snooker they had on and it was the Welshman Mark Williams I was rooting for.                                                       None of the other afternoon programmes were on until the quiz at 5.15 pm so I returned to my desk at 4.00 pm. After the quiz I found myself dozing again until I was sharply awoken by the doorbell at 6.30 pm. I was delighted to see my cousin and her son whom she’d just collected from Uni and emptied his student lodgings as next year he move into a different house with a new group of students who share an interest of his in lizards and other reptiles. That’s going to be a very busy house at feeding time as everyone have their lizards there and he has three to join them. They left about 8.00 pm and I had Miss Fisher’s Mysteries on until I  came back through at 9.00 pm. Lots of mail but it’s not been too bad. 11.20 pm and I’m finished.

Saturday. I was asleep at midnight or thereabouts last night and woke this morning at 2.42 am. I went for a wee and to save time ( of which I’ve only got hours to waste) had a wash and then headed straight for the kitchen. I took half my meds, put some bread in the toaster then took the other half. Living fast and loose I had my toast warm today. One quarter then 2 tablets then the other three quarters and the final two tablets (till the next meal). I worked on mail till 5,30 am then took a shower and got dressed.(Yes, I did remember to dry myself first). I cleared the rest of the mail then went to put my waste food bin out. The other recycling bags aren’t full enough to worry about so I’ll do those next week with the main refuse collection. At 6.55 am I left to walk to the bus stop and at 7.10 am it arrived. Within 5 minutes I was at the supermarket getting a trolley then going to empty the cash machine. That should leave me in the position of playing loan shark to anyone who comes needing cash while I’m still here. I had a good waltz round the front of the store but couldn’t find any new potatoes this week, I added a couple of frozen dinners and had to waltz a bit quicker so they didn’t defrost. I got almost everything I needed but I was a bit peeved to see my Pepsi had jumped in price to even more than my usual supermarket. As I finished the shopping I had one of the girls use the freephone to call a taxi for me. It was there within 5 minutes and a couple of minuted later  just before 8.30 am I was home. After I’d put everything away I felt a little lost for a minute, hell I”d got all this time on my hands but what should I do with it?  I know, sleep but first I’d better check on my mail. That lasted till gone 10.00 am but then I did go for a nap with the sun shining outside it was glorious, just nice enough to close my eyes too. I came too about 11.20 am and decided to check my post before deciding on lunch. At 11.50 am I suddenly settled on the idea of some chips with gravy from the chippy and a couple of rounds of bread and butter. They were surprised to see me on a Saturday and I was a little surprised to be there given the shape of my stomach these days which has swallowed my hips whole. I walk round hoping my bum is big enough to stop my trousers reaching my ankles before the end of the day. As I got close to home my opposite neighbour Margaret was out being energetic with a rug. We chatted for a while before I excused myself and came in to have my chips with gravy to which I added lots of salt and vinegar. For all those out there who don’t know, a good bottle of Sarson’s malt vinegar is a necessity with chips, and salt, well that’s a necessity with everything. I use pink Himalayan rock salt.        For lunchtime I watched a little snooker but once lunch was over it was back to work where I stayed until 3.00 pm.  break then till 3.45 pm then to work until 5.00 pm when I was on my own time until 9.00 pm when I came back through. It’s 11.40 pm now and I’m almost done.

Sunday. I read until 12.45 am last night  and somehow benefited from a bonus sleep by not getting up at 2.20 am as was first suggested (and refused) but staying exactly where I was until 4.04 am. Not a great gain perhaps but each one is a prize wrested from the grasp of Somnos and his minions.  ( No, not the little yellow ones in the movies). I did my usual morning routine, finishing up with bringing a coffee back to my desk. There wasn’t as much mail as  feared but it still kept me going until 7.40 am at which time I took my cup to the kitchen, opened Joey’s cage and plonked my bum firmly in  my chair for a kip . The only problem was it didn’t work. Instead I gave up and went to get dressed and apply my new beard oil ready for my morning visitors about 9.30 am.                                                9.30 am and the car pulled up outside. I went to get my jacket and off we went. We headed for the supermarket when Karen said she wanted to look for some clothes, when we got in there I was mesmerised by the sale rail and bought three shirts at £3 each. A steal so I hung on to the receipt in case anyone thought I had. Jo my other niece let slip that they’d really come here thinking they were helping me with my shopping which I had to explain I’d done yesterday but I still went on to buy the jumbo, family sized washing up liquid I can’t find anywhere else and two bottle of Pepsi Max. Karen didn’t find anything to wear but they both did some shopping and actually fought with me, a poor feeble old man when I wanted to pay everything all at once. I literally had to bounce them out of the way and send them packing…..my shopping mainly, remove the dividers between everything and then when the lady on the till had already scanned something I said she’d have to carry on now. Those girls have a terrible way with their elders. We  headed to Flint next and a drink at Tempies. I suggested to Karen she might like to try a shop called TOFS for a top and she actually found one. The other shop we’d supposedly gone there for was for Jo and she didn’t buy anything. I’m pretty sure they think I arrived fresh on a barge this morning. Eventually we got round to going for lunch and they wouldn’t let me pay. See what I have to put up with. They dropped me off and I waved as they raced away. Then I came inside and hid the new shirts, did I mention a jumper too? Time was 2.30 pm and time to start work. It took until 6.05 pm until I cleared the first lot so I went and relaxed in front of the TV. As usual I retired at 9.00 pm ready for the next onslaught. 11.21 pm and I’m just about done.

Have a wonderful week especially if you’re enjoying some nice Spring weather. Be nice and smile at people. Some of them will need it. If you can offer a hug to someone or even an ear make sure everybody’s day is improved by knowing you. The world has enough troubles so each one we can end improves the world.