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Welcome to an Interview with author Christoph Fischer

Welcome to an Interview with Christoph Fischer
Christoph Fischer
 
Author of.  Conditions
Conditions
 
A brief synopsis.

Two estranged brothers are confronted with each other when their mother dies. One is bitter about his place in the family, the other has mental health issues. The book follows the group of people attending the funeral and covers the days leading up to and the weeks following the funeral itself . 
What made you decide to write this book?
 
I know a lot of people who struggle with mental health issues, whether it is  themself or because of one their friends or their family. I’m amazed at how wonderful and natural some people are with it and how uncomfortable and unkind others are. I always wanted to write about that to raise awareness and make people challenge themselves. I think we all (me very much included) have a lot to learn about full integration and tolerance. 
 
Where did you find these characters?
 
Through real life. They all are blends of a large variety of sources: People I knew a long time ago, the person talking on their phone in the queue in front of me or a snippet from an overheard conversation without context- they all give me an idea. Then the story takes over and the characters change and develop and take on their own life.
 
Do you write purely from imagination or do everyday scenes influence you?
Very much both.  Some of the storylines are based on real events, but they are also what I made of those events in my head. I find it quite boring to simply re-tell something that has already happened because it imposes a rigid structure and takes away the fun and ‘creative freedom’. In the writing process, the plot usually forces changes and new angles and by the time a book is published little is left of the original idea.
Share with the readers one little known fact about yourself.
Between the ages of 9 and 19 I performed a lot of amateur theatre, mainly fairy tales and small sketches. My first role was that of a wild boar and all I did was stand inside a papier mache replica of said boar and run across the stage. Later on I got to show my face and speak but somehow Steven Spielberg has not taken notice.
I love the theatre  and should go more often.
( So far, I haven’t found you the least Boar-ing ) (Sorry).
 
Your name suggests a German Origin. How long have you lived in the UK and what made you choose to live here? Style of house?
I came to the UK by a string of coincidences really. I participated in a student exchange programme in 1993 which resulted in me living with a Welsh partner and having a nice job in London. I had big ambitions for further travels and a career in films but subsequent job, house and partner changes brought me to the lovely rural cottage in Wiltshire where I currently live with another Welshman, instead of a harbour-view penthouse in Sydney or Vancouver (which is what I had originally aimed for). I’m very happy with the way it all played out, though.
Are you traditionally published or an Indie author? What influenced that choice?
I went Indie because it seemed easier than spending months writing humble begging letters to get someone to read my work or to speak to someone who knows an agent or publisher.
A few years ago I went to a self-publishing seminar in London (held by Hay House Publishing) and decided to try ‘working for myself’ rather than for someone else. I’ve learned since that traditional publishers don’t offer as much as they used to; in fact, the entire industry is going through some vast dynamic changes and it seems safer to keep control and rights to myself. I’m pleased with the results I’ve achieved going it alone and see no immediate need to go traditional.
If you could have one wish, what would it be?
To find a cure for …..
Your book goes to No 1 and fans ask for a sequel. Is there one?
There already is a plan for a sequel to Conditions. Not all of the side characters in the book are given as much attention as I would have liked to and I have some great ideas where to take them next.
Some parts of the story couldn’t come to a lasting conclusion within the space of the two weeks that my novel covers. That would have been unrealistic and not the kind of book I’d like to write.
Tell us about the type of books you read. Do you enjoy humour ?
I know a lot of other indie authors and read a lot of their work. I love humour, particularly that of Aaron David, Ian Hutson and Andrew Peters. I love a good drama, tear jerkers, historical novels and foreign literature but I read a bit of everything.
What’s the strangest joke you’ve played on anyone?
I’m a poor practical joker and by no means have a poker face, so I’m scratching the bottom of the barrell here:
2010, Waitrose Abergavenny. My mother-in-law spent all morning nagging away at my partner for not wearing a mac – as she felt was decent and called for on such a drizzly day. Between arriving at her home and taking her to the coffee shop in the supermarket she must have mentioned it ten times, to the point that nobody was talking to each other anymore. Trying to break the ice I took a gamble and involved one of the waiters in a practical joke. When he came to pick up some empty cups he took a step back and said with a disapproving headshake to my partner: “Aren’t you cold? You should be wearing a body warmer or a mac on a day like this.”
You probably had to be there to appreciate the moment but even my mother-in-law laughed and we spent the rest of the day in peace and harmony.
Is there some significance to the flag you’re holding? It reminds me of an old Greek flag.
That’s interesting. What I’m holding is the current Finnish flag. I started using that picture when I began my current work in progress,”In Search of a Revolution”, which is a historical novel set in Finland 1918 – 1950. I also chose the picture because of my dog Molly. The photo was actually taken at a Eurovision Party where I supported the Finnish entry.
Do you have a website to share? 
 
Any Link to the Book?
 
Previous Books & links
 

The Luck of the Weissensteiners (Three Nations Trilogy Book 1)

In the sleepy town of Bratislava in 1933 a romantic girl falls for a bookseller from Berlin. Greta Weissensteiner, daughter of a Jewish weaver, slowly settles in with the Winkelmeier clan just as the developments in Germany start to make waves in Europe and re-draws the visible and invisible borders. The political climate in the multifaceted cultural jigsaw puzzle of disintegrating Czechoslovakia becomes more complex and affects relations between the couple and the families. The story follows them through the war with its predictable and also its unexpected turns and events and the equally hard times after.
But this is no ordinary romance; in fact it is not a romance at all, but a powerful, often sad, Holocaust story. What makes The Luck of the Weissensteiners so extraordinary is the chance to consider the many different people who were never in concentration camps, never in the military, yet who nonetheless had their own indelible Holocaust experiences. This is a wide-ranging, historically accurate exploration of the connections between social location, personal integrity and, as the title says, luck.

On Amazon:  http://smarturl.it/Weissensteiners

 

On Goodreads: http://bit.ly/12Rnup8

On Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1bua395

Trailer: http://studio.stupeflix.com/v/OtmyZh4Dmc/?autoplay=1

B&N  http://ow.ly/Btvas

 

Sebastian (Three Nations Trilogy Book 2)

Sebastian is the story of a young man who has his leg amputated before World War I. When his father is drafted to the war it falls on to him to run the family grocery store in Vienna, to grow into his responsibilities, bear loss and uncertainty and hopefully find love.
Sebastian Schreiber, his extended family, their friends and the store employees experience the ‘golden days’ of pre-war Vienna and the timed of the war and the end of the Monarchy while trying to make a living and to preserve what they hold dear.
Fischer convincingly describes life in Vienna during the war, how it affected the people in an otherwise safe and prosperous location, the beginning of the end for the Monarchy, the arrival of modern thoughts and trends, the Viennese class system and the end of an era.
As in the first part of the trilogy, “The Luck of The Weissensteiners” we are confronted again with themes of identity, Nationality and borders. The step back in time made from Book 1 and the change of location from Slovakia to Austria enables the reader to see the parallels and the differences deliberately out of the sequential order. This helps to see one not as the consequence of the other, but to experience them as the momentary reality as it must have felt for the people at the time.

On Amazon: http://smarturl.it/TNTSeb

 

On Goodreads: http://ow.ly/pthHZ

On Facebook: http://ow.ly/pthNy

Trailer: http://studio.stupeflix.com/v/95jvSpHf5a/

B&N http://ow.ly/Btvbw

 

The Black Eagle Inn (Three Nations Trilogy Book 3)

The Black Eagle Inn is an old established Restaurant and Farm business in the sleepy Bavarian countryside outside of Heimkirchen.  Childless Anna Hinterberger has fought hard to make it her own and keep it running through WWII. Religion and rivalry divide her family as one of her nephews, Markus has got her heart and another nephew, Lukas got her ear. Her husband Herbert is still missing and for the wider family life in post-war Germany also has some unexpected challenges in store.

Once again Fischer tells a family saga with war in the far background and weaves the political and religious into the personal. Being the third in the Three Nations Trilogy this book offers another perspective on war, its impact on people and the themes of nations and identity.

On Facebook: http://ow.ly/pAX3y

On Goodreads: http://ow.ly/pAX8G

On Amazon: http://smarturl.it/TBEI


Trailer: http://studio.stupeflix.com/v/mB2JZUuBaI/

Time To Let Go:

Time to Let Go is a contemporary family drama set in Britain.
Following a traumatic incident at work Stewardess Hanna Korhonen decides to take time off work and leaves her home in London to spend quality time with her elderly parents in rural England. There she finds that neither can she run away from her problems, nor does her family provide the easy getaway place that she has hoped for. Her mother suffers from Alzheimer’s disease and, while being confronted with the consequences of her issues at work, she and her entire family are forced to reassess their lives.
The book takes a close look at family dynamics and at human nature in a time of a crisis. Their challenges, individual and shared, take the Korhonens on a journey of self-discovery and redemption.

On Facebook: http://ow.ly/BtKtQ

On Goodreads:  http://ow.ly/BtKs7

On Amazon: http://smarturl.it/TTLG

 
Please feel free to share an excerpt.

Martha was petit and fragile looking with bleach blonde hair, very light skin and lots of freckles. She seemed lost in her overly large black dress.  When she saw it was a stranger answering the door she trembled, mumbling a barely audible greeting. Charles quickly stuck his head out of the kitchen and shouted:

“Martha, this is my friend Simon.”

She looked puzzled.

“Remember, I said there’d be someone from Torquay. The orchid guy?”

She nodded slightly, hesitantly stepped into the hallway and looked searchingly around.

“Talk to each other while I’m making dinner,” Charles ordered them. “I’ll be out soon. Go, sit in the living room!”

Martha shrugged and gave a little grin, then stood there waiting for Simon to do something.

“You have been here before, haven’t you?” he asked surprised at her lack of initiative.

“Yes, of course,” she said, continuing to stand until he started to walk. Only then did she move towards the living room, following his lead. She sat down on the sofa, put her handbag on the floor and folded her hands over her knees. She remained that way, without saying a further word, her gaze averted towards the floor. Simon sat down on the other sofa and tried to think of the right thing to say, but was stumped. Although she was as shy as Charles had predicted, there was something quite forceful underneath that exterior that didn’t sit comfortable with him. An unspoken pressure surrounded that woman and tensed up the atmosphere. She, too, had very attractive features, he thought. A hint of Meg Ryan maybe, if only her face was more relaxed.

“Can I get you a drink?” he eventually asked, grateful that something had finally sprung to mind.

“No thank you,” she said, her voice cracking halfway through the first syllable. He noticed that her eyes were melancholic and seemed to be continually searching for something. She smiled and shrugged as if to apologise for it. Only then did Simon remember being told about her drinking problem and felt the sting of embarrassment. To add to his discomfort Martha now seemed to have lost some of her initial shyness and looked expectantly at him. The mounting pressure began to feel very uncomfortable.

He remembered her story vaguely from one of Charles’s long monologues. Martha and Charles had met in hospital after his accident at the estate while she was being treated for nasty bruises and fractures – souvenirs from a recent fight with her latest abusive husband. The memory made him even more self-conscious as to what to speak to her about.

“How was the journey?” Simon had finally thought to ask.

“Alright,” she said, repeating her grin and shrug routine.

“Are you still living in…” Simon paused, realising that he couldn’t remember the name of the town.

“I’m still in the same place that I lived in with my ex-husband Clive,” she said eagerly. She had moved to the front of the seat and was leaning towards him. “It has to be sold to complete the divorce settlement and the sale is taking its time,” she added.

“Sorry to hear that,” he said, surprised by her sudden change of attitude.

“Like our marriage, the sale has turned into a tedious and painful affair,” she said, giggling slightly.

“I see,” Simon said, feeling embarrassed by the sudden intimacy. “I hadn’t meant to ask that, of course.”

“I don’t mind talking about it,” she said. “I’m in AA and there we share everything. Clive and I worked at the same firm and nothing about the split has ever been secret. Everyone knows my story and in parts I find that quite liberating. Charles probably mentioned the saga to you. At least he probably told you why I don’t drink,” she added.

Simon was stunned into silence by her forwardness.

“You don’t have to get embarrassed,” she assured him.

“I am embarrassed,” he said, to which she just shrugged her shoulders.

 

Well, I’m parched. I’m sure it’s time you put the kettle on and a dark chocolate ginger or two wouldn’t come amiss. That’s why I’m interviewing you in you’re own home or I’d have to share mine.
Can I interest you in a bara brith or a welsh cake?
 
Erm.  Os gwelwch yn dda.
Thanks Chistoph, you’ve been very patient, very forthcoming and almost hospitable.You will have the dark chocolate gingers in for next time won’t you.
My very best wishes with this and with all your books.
My apologies to everyone for the changes in font size . I don’t have the facility to choose/change font sizes within WordPress so I cut and past from elsewhere in a better size. WordPress makes the changes back at random intervals and nothing I do changes them back to the original size.

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Sunday bloody Sunday & ISP Wails in Wales.

Sunday. It was a bit of a restless night so I managed to sleep a bit longer this morning. I didn’t get up until 5.56 am and flicked the computer on as I was leaving the room for the loo. It was ready to go when I got back. Strangely there were only fifty- odd ( rather than fifty odd) pieces of mail and happily a good few were about last weeks blog. and happily no-one has yet claimer terminal boredom. There was another of the fraudulent mails and it upset me quite a lot. This one claims to be a woman currently in London staying in a cancer hospital with terminal cancer and no more than two months to live. She and her husband lived ( guess where) in Nigeria for some years where he worked and invested. When he died she sold up a shopping mall, a hotel blah, blah, blah. The money is still in a bank out there but she won’t be able to go back. She specifically wants me to take on the couple of million she has and donate it to charity less 20% which I can keep for expenses. This is one of the more wicked cons out there appealing to people’s sympathy. I also had the standard bank manager with a deceased client message which gets sent to the crap pile without hesitation.

At 7.00 am I fed the fish though you wouldn’t know it as they all had their backs to me and were swimming to the furthest corner away from me. I assume that’s because he didn’t get fed yesterday. They should know by now that Saturday is diet day, for fish at least. I turned to take my meds and included one for a pre-meal. After about ten mins I was ready to have a bowl of shreddies but was overcome by spirit instead. I was forced to eat two doughnuts instead. Erm, don’t have a go at me though, there were three there and I was only forced to eat two. I took my after meal tabs and retired back to the bedroom with my coffee. Away from the temptations of the kitchen and whatever malevolent spirit resides there. I worked through a couple of mail refreshes until I was clear about 10.15 am. I decided at that point to print some pictures off to fill a frame for Yvonne. including a copy of the one taken of me with Reuben by Tariq. I knew my black ink was almost gone so I thought I’d better change that first. When I turned on and checked, it seems all of the inks were getting low and not wanting a hiccup during printing I thought I’d change them all. I’d bought quite a few last time as the compatible inks are quite inexpensive.

I got the cartridge holder to the right position, shook the new inks, took them out of their wrappers and inserted them one by one as I took the old ones out. I was very careful with the disposal of the old ones. I set the printer to go and all I kept getting was a message to say that these inks were incompatible with the printer. Nothing I could do would change the message so I’ve now got new inks in and can’t print anything. I ended up having to go to Amazon to buy proper Epson inks. The annoying thing is these cartridges are exactly the same as the ones I took out and were part of the same order. I won’t be able to do anything until the Epson inks get here from Jersey. I expect they’ll be gold plated at the price I had to pay. Unless maybe they come with a free holiday on Jersey.

That messing about took me to lunchtime where I had every intention of being good. Unfortunately the spirit wasn’t so inclined and I ended up with four rashers of bacon (sliced with a razor blade), a Bury black pudding ( all the best ones are from Bury) and a small tin of beans. By choice I added two baps to that. I struggled to eat it all but after a dynamic effort almost made it. I put the last bean in the food waste bin. I followed up with a Kitkat. It’s only now I realise how lucky I am not to have been forced to eat the BFG from the freezer which I’d forgotten about. After lunch I had a Sunday nap in my chair which was quite welcome but when I woke up I was talking to someone on the couch and I’ve no idea who. I felt quite lonely actually and went back to work. I stayed there until 5.30 pm when I went to watch part of a film and then an episode of Inspector Morse  followed by The Antiques Road Show. It was time then to come through and have the last mass catch-up of the mail and start the blog.

Monday. Well, it was a little better last night and I slept until 6.05 am so swinging myself out of bed wasn’t too difficult.I should perhaps have been in a sitting position first though as when my feet swung left to right to find my slippers, my head swung left to right into the wall. It’s OK though, the wall wasn’t hurt too much and isn’t going to sue. The trouble is, wherever I have the bed in this room it has to be side on to a wall unless I remove the rest of the furniture. Where it is now is right next to the emergency alarm which I may have to use if I clout myself like that one more time. I whimpered my way down the passage to the loo.  I considered an en suite but chamber pots are so passe now and I didn’t want to passe it by in the middle of the night. I returned from the loo and turned the computer on. A couple of days ago I received an email purporting to be from createspace telling me they were having problems making a payment to me. I did nothing about it as the same day I received notice of a payment due in about a week. Today I had the same message again and I’m uncomfortable about it. It looks real, it reads real but my nose says something is off so I’ve messaged their help desk to ask if it’s real or a convincing con. I’ll keep you informed of any answer. Maybe I’m getting paranoid now.

I saw to the fish at 7.30 am and also had a bit of breakfast. I was sure I was going to have Shreddies but as I poured they came out as Rice Krispies. Tomorrow I’m going to try it with my eyes open. I took a coffee back to my desk then went to get washed and dressed. I’m not going out and I’m expecting no visitors but you never know. At about 9.30 am I realised I needed to go out with my prescription request so I’ll have the drugs ready for Thursday/Friday when it comes to doing the week’s supply. I donned my leather jacket and headed out. The rain was like a continuous waterfall and I was drenched within feet, at least my head and my legs were. By the time I got back I was like a drowned rat ( sorry girls) and had to towel dry my hair and glasses before I could see to change. If I’d thought to pick up cigarettes while out I could have avoided a trip in the morning. I’ll have to go early so I don’t miss the postman again.

At lunchtime I had a lamb shank with mashed potatoes, peas and carrots. Very tasty. Then it was time for my afternoon kip. I hadn’t intended too and was quite enjoying a film. When I woke up I wondered how it had become a murder until I understood  I’d missed both an end and a beginning. So, back to work. On a serious note I’m both worried and disgusted with the number of countries who are becoming right-wing. The number where there are signs of anti-Semitism growing again as in the Ukraine and where there is an anti-gay movement . If it’s true that the UK and the US are responsible for the current regime in the Ukraine because the previous Government were not wanting to join the EU then both Governments have a lot to answer for. A number of deaths can be laid at their door already.                                                                      I worked until teatime when I had a bowl of strawberries then watched my quizzes, half an antiques programme and hen a film called ‘Employee of the month’ that made me smile a few times. At 9.00 pm I came through in the hopes of finishing the mail and the blog early. Well that’s not happening.

zebra boy 1

Zebra Boy

Zebra Boy

Tuesday.You remember Julie Andrews singing as she worked her way through an alpine meadow with the von Trapp kids in tow, Idle Swine, Idle Swine every morning you greet me, or words to that effect. Well I checked the bathroom mirror this morning and Idle Swine stared back at me. It was 6.25 am before I got up today and I’d barely been for the stop-start mission before it was time to feed the fish and myself. They got some very boring fish flakes and I got some rather tasty, thick, buttered toast. It was a nice change from my cereal and I was able to use up the last of the weekend’s baps. After taking my drugs I wandered back to my bedroom with the coffee that was going to wake me up. I turned on the machine and got started. Content wasn’t too bad in that no-one was trying to con me first thing and I did get my answering email from Createspace. Their messages were genuine. It seems they’ve been having a problem paying me since January. I followed a different set of directions to the last ones but seemed to end up in the same place. The difficulty is they don’t tell you what the problems are. I had to un-click a couple of things then re-click them in the hope it kick starts whatever isn’t working. If it goes Kaput again I don’t know what I’ll do as changing back to cheques isn’t an option as bank charges will eat up the value.

At  just gone 9.00 am I got dressed and went to replenish the ciggie supplies at Pauline’s. I got fresh baps and my new TV mag while I was there. Then it was home again to work while waiting for the postman. It was getting to be late morning when there was a knock on the front door. I must have been concentrating heavily as I left my seat but not in a good way and came down holding my chest in fright. Another small knock and I went to answer. I could see it was my postie before I opened the door. The parcel I had to sign for was no longer than a cigarette and not much thicker. My Iodine has arrived. Before going through to make my lunch I bared my stomach (look away ladies) and painted a patch about the size of a 50p piece or a 2 cent Australian coin I’m reliably informed. While waiting for it to dry I left my stomach bared and read the brochure that said how important Iodine is to the body and how the chemicals in our water depletes it. Hopefully this will help me chase of the chest before I have to go back to the doctor’s again. I covered the stomach up took a tablet then placed a cottage pie in the micro ( Yes, I know I said I was fed up with them but the shop we went to at the weekend had little choice). I’d just about finished eating when I glances someone cross in front of the window. As best I could I ran to the kitchen with my tray, turned the TV down and went to the front door. There was my wonderful Crazy Cat Lady Helen. Since she’s left the Ivy and doesn’t want to lose touch she’s come to visit. I had no problem opening the door to her and ushering her in. You can’t help but be relaxed in her company. As a ( sort of ) joke she even brought me a packet of ham and two little eggs from her own hens, freshly laid. I gave her the midge fragnet Mike had brought her back from Canada and a box of chocolates as she now misses out. She was with me well over an hour and was a delight. We talked about her crafting and was able to give her two crafting CDroms from Ju’s collection that she didn’t have.

When Helen left I felt quite bereft and had to go straight back to work on the computer. I stayed there most of the afternoon catching up. There was another knock at the door and this time it was my drugs ‘mule’ from the chemist bringing the latest supplies. After I’d signed Rasputin ( who notices) I took the drugs to the kitchen and went to sit down with a film. At just gone 4.30 pm when I had the lap top on my knees and was swearing at it’s lack of speed, I may have been contemplating a quick kip when I heard the sound of the door opening. I couldn’t hear too well and my mind registered nothing but shock until Ugo walked into the room bearing a stern looking Reuben.But lo and behold he smiled at me. I turned the laptop off and took Reuben from Ugo so he could visit the loo, the dance he was doing was quite unseemly. I was able to dodge the grab for the glasses and took him to the mirror which he loves ( talk about vain and Reuben’s no better). Ugo came back and decdided to give Reuben some milk but for some reason his eyes were following me around and his arms opened to indicate a pick up. I did so gladly and Ugo took a walk to the chippie. Ten  minutes later he was back with sausage and chips for me  ( come on, I had to make an effort after he’d bought them) and whatever rubbish he was having in the kebab line. But first he took Reuben back and started to feed him while I ate my tea. Afterwards we swapped so Ugo could eat and I played with Reuben. I made Ugo’s pudding and almost collapsed with shock to find he only wanted ONE chocolate pudding but would take custard with it. They left about 6.00 pm so Reuben would be back for his bedtime. After I’d waved them off it was straight back here playing catch up again. I’d thought about going back through t the lounge for a late episode of The Mentalist but instead settled for an earlier episode of SG1 from 8 – 9.00 pm. Then it was back here for the rest of the night.

Mischief 1

Mischief 1

Destruction accomplished.

Destruction accomplished.

 

 

Wednesday. I had an inkling this was not going to be a good day when I opened my eyes at 6.55 am

that’s almost afternoon as far as I’m concerned. Bypassing the computer, I didn’t stop to collect my £200 for passing go but shot straight to the loo and from there to the kitchen.

I fed the fish and at least they couldn’t accuse me of being late. No sign of the assassins at all. I don’t remember them booking holidays just because the weather looks good. I had my meds, made a coffee and had some Shreddies for breakfast. Kitchen duties finished I headed back to the pit and turned the computer on. Wow, 107 messages. I ploughed in and was making good progress when about 9.30 am there was a knock at the door. Because I wasn’t dressed yet I was careful how I appeared but it was only my favourite postman. YAY, my inks. I signed for them and came back to the pit full of the joys of Spring knowing I could now print off the pictures I wanted to do for the frame I have for Yvonne. Bollards ! I opened the package and there were only 3 inks, the fourth would be coming by a separate delivery with no mention as to how long. Deflated I returned to the mail.

By 10.00 am I had finished the first batch and decided not to refresh until I’d dressed and hoovered up. A quick mop of the kitchen floor and I got the Hoover out. I did all through the lounge though it didn’t seem to matter what setting it was on, thick carpet, thin carpet or hard floor I felt sure I could have done a better job just sucking in hard. I know the bag is empty so it’s not that. I set it for thick carpet and assaulted the hall. It seemed to do well on the hard floor but I ended up using it more as a carpet beater in the end. I decided to give my pit a miss as I’d be working in here in a few minutes………. or so I thought. When I got back my modem was showing access-local only which means the internet is down. I turned the modem off and waited the prescribed time before turning back on, no change. I turned the computer off and rebooted, no change. I did everything I could think of but it made no difference, I’m off. The rest of the morning and most of the afternoon I was either in a state of misery or abject fear at knowing how my messages would be accumulating.

At 5.00 pm relief came in the form of my brother Dil and nephew Matt. I’d almost forgotten Dil had told me last week that he was on holiday this week. While I made drinks Matt checked his tablet and said it looked as though TalkTalk was having some problems so the fault might lie at their end. That was some relief as I knew I hadn’t touched the modem with the Hoover while I worked.

Drinks distributed we started play. Two games of Scrabble later and both Dil’s an my chin were on the floor and Matt had conquered us both. Despite some nice little wordplay by me with adit, aglet and qua Matt’s tablet was coming up with words to beat my brain like qi and other little gems.

We turned to Nomination Whist and with a struggle I came joint first with Matt. The boy is on fire tonight. At least in crazy 8’s I won convincingly pushing Matt over the 300 mark before I hit 3 figures and Dil had only just got over the 100. Finally it was Cribbage and through more luck than judgement I managed to cross the line first. Dil said nothing but you could hear the cogs turning so I’ll have to watch my step next week. They left at just gone 9.30 pm so I tidied up , washed the pots and headed for my pit. Still no luck though I tried turning the modem off again for a few minutes then back on. I’m left to wonder whether the modem was upset that I hoovered so close to it. Maybe it was shock at me hoovering at all.

I went to bed very unhappy, picked a book to read about the dark history of some European Kings and Queens though it seemed to be quite lenient with the Titles as Elizabeth Bathory was not a Queen and Giles de Rais was not a King. I think I only read till 11.00 pm before trying to sleep.

 

Thursday. Much more like usual I woke at 5.52 am but was amazed I’d slept so long with no forays to and from the loo during the night. I didn’t turn the computer on but went straight to the loo checking the modem on my way back. Still nothing. All the lights are on except the internet one.I turned it off as I went past heading for the kitchen. I turned on the tank light and prepared to say “Good Morning” to them all but disaster had struck. Big Bill the circle swimming Angel Fish had finally succumbed to ‘whatever’ and was lying on the bottom of the tank. I cleared the plants and vases from the top and went in with my net to get him. There was some weed about him which came out too and I was quite cross as I’ve been putting something in to kill the weed off. I was annoyed in case he’d got tangled and the lack of motion had caused him to drown. I don’t think it was that however as there didn’t seem to be enough to have stopped him moving. While I was tere I used the net to gather as many snails as I could and as much weed as I could then buried the lot in the dustbin in a plastic cup. There are now 3 bull nosed placs, a small fish with a flashy tail and a small catfish which is completely white with red eyes ( I know there’s a word for it but can’t remember it this morning).

I had my meds then a piece of toast before coming back through, turning the modem back on as I came.Still nothing. I turned the computer on so that I could record the diary entry oherwise I’ll never remember anything. What surprised me was a pop-up saying there are windows updates and the computer would be turned off in ten minutes. I put it off for an hour. How are windows updates getting through if there’s no internet?

YAY. 10.45 am and I’m back up and running. Only 305 messages await in 24 hours !!!!!!! It’s scary. I’ve no choice but to start reading and typing. Some messages I might pay more attention to usually will have to be passed over if I want to finish sometime today. Food, who has time for that? Well, now that you mention it, it’s almost one o’clock and I need it. Yes, another cottage pie but I did have pizza and chips yesterday- comfort food, today it’s speed food. After that it’s back to work and work and work and work. Tonight it’s my 8.00-8.30 Big Bang Theory and then at 10.00 pm my Person of Interest I don’t want to miss those.

I had a real push and got the post down before Big Bang so I didn’t miss it after all but it’s now 9.49 pm and I’m worried about my other prog. Nearly 60 to go and that makes 487 in all today unless I refresh it again……. See you later.

Friday.Ah, much more back to normal today. I didn’t have to beat sleep off with a big stick in the hopes of my internet returning, I managed to finish by 1.00 am and in total it was 532 messages and 2 blog posts. I was up at 4.46 am telling myself that today would be the Queen of Days this week now I can communicate with the outside world again other than by banging on the walls and hoping someone hears me.

My first batch was done by 6.30 am and I decided to give the fish an early treat. They were all there alive and flipping. I picked up my tablet container and realised I needed to refill it as soon as I’d taken this mornings doses so I swallowed those and got out the new drugs and filled the little compartments which took about 20 minutes then had some breakfast. I took my coffee back through to the bedroom about 7.15 am and refreshed. Not too bad, just 37. I managed to keep on top of things so that when 9.15 am came I was able to get dressed and go to the post office with my voting form. The reason for my mini rant earlier in the week was the form contained four far right groups hiding behind new names, The British National Party is known to be right wing fascist and racist but then you have the English Defence League which is an offshoot of the BNP, Put Britain First is another then we have United Kingdom Independence Party which appears to be OK until you see their history and find they were practically founded by people from the BNP who seem to be still there. There is a group called No2EU which is another on that could appeal to people who don’t take the time to check that this is run by the Chairman of the Communist Party of GB.That leaves the LibDems who haven’t earned themselves any trust since they’ve been power sharing with the Conservatives, who themselves have broken promises since they came to power and are treating the disadvantaged, the sick and the vulnerable very badly with benefits changes while giving tax breaks to the wealthy. They had an opportunity to govern fairly but have now probably lost that opportunity. There are the Labour party who are profligate with our money and despite raising taxes ( as always) they borrowed a lot of money and left the UK in heavy debt. Lastly there is Plaid Cymrru the aprty of Wales who can only be elected to serve Wales and not England so that’s a choice England don’t have. If large tax dodging corporations paid their way and if  he tax relief for the wealthy was lowered then the benefit changes wouldn’t need to be made at all.

Whinge over………..I got back from the Post Office to find the internet kaput again. I calmly pulled the rest of the hair from my head and got back down to turn off the modem and take all plugs out, wiggle them ( technical term) and replace them before turning the modem back on. Glory Be, it’s back !! I almost kissed the postman and might have done if he hadn’t looked so shocked, dropped my stuff and run off. Here was the last of my ink. Double YAY. I performed the difficult task of changing all the inks while simultaneously cursing that the ones I was throwing away were new. Then I set to selecting three pictures to print off to fit the triple frame I mentioned earlier in the week. The spaces were 6″ x 4″ so I had to guess their sizes on a couple of A4 sheets of foto paper. I couldn’t have done better. Everything came out so well. Lunch time came and I retired to the kitchen to make a pizza with micro chips, not forgetting the buttered bap. I’d not long finished when I got a text message ‘ On Way’. Fantastic, I had n’t expected Mike to be this early as he was getting here late afternoon the last few occasions.

I made sure the mail was up to date so I’d be free when he got here. So, when he arrived just before 3.00 pm I got the kettle on ready and was almost pouring it as he reached the kitchen. I got my usual (brotherly) kiss and a hug and then he parked his bum and told me about his week. If he left out the bits about nooky it would have taken about ten minutes but he’s had a good week, a better week than me the miserable beggar. We watched a couple of quizzes together answering as we went along then he had something to eat. He washed my hair ( quite difficult for me), I had a shower and then we relaxed again to chat and eventually watch the TV a little more. At 9.00 pm I came through and left him to his own devices. I think I’ve managed to catch up again but still the occasional hicccup with WordPress sites keep asking me to sign in but not carrying comments over.

Saturday. I’m not too unhappy at 5.45 am this morning as it allows me to get a start on the mail. I know Mike’s put his alarm on for 7.00 am as he asked me what time last night and I suggested 6.45 am I stopped him from laughing before he choked. Well, I was doing OK and making good progress when I heard his alarm go off, and off, and off. It was still ringing when I left the bedroom to go to the kitchen to put the kettle on and turn the light on for the fish. I had time to take my two sprays, take all my tablets and put a piece of toast on before the kettle boiled and I made Mike’s coffee. I took it through o his room, put it on the bedside table furthest away and called        ” Coffee’s up Bro”. There were some unintelligible grunts in what I took to be either Polish or maybe High Neptunian for all I know as I left the room to return to my toast. It was about 5 mins later I heard the slither of his feet and the clicking of his nails on the laminate floor of the lounge. I must remember to get the vet to file those nails down or at least get Mike to stand upright and keep his hands off the floor. 

I went about emptying bins and writing a note in  large black crayon asking the food waste wagon to leave me some new bags as the previous one foot square note must have been too small for them to see. I have 2 bins and up to 4 bags to sort on a Saturday. Some places have an extra bin for garden waste too. There’s no room to leave the driveway on a Saturday. It was almost 7.30 am as I went back in the house and found a fully compost mental human being ready to converse . By 7.50 am we were actually leaving the house and I had only left 14 messages undone. We drove ( well technically HE drove but he says I do a good job of trying to from the passenger seat so I’m counting that a a win) to the big ASDA to shop and yet again I was lucky enough to find some nice things for Reuben. Oh, I did manage to pick up some food too. We had a drink before we left as I was so dry but I had to give up before the end as I’d chosen one of those iced coffees and was on the brink of brain freeze. We  OK, HE drove to Flint where after buying some chocolates we had another drink but this time in Temptations where I was greeted nicely by Daniel as Mike shot straight past and headed for the loo. Ceri appeared and we had nice words before Mike came back and brought all conversation back to gutter level as he chatted her up and teased her. From there we went to the frozen food shop and stocked up on ice lollies.

On the way home to unpack I arranged to meet my niece Karen in Llandudno while Mike visits our friend Brian and his new dog. It’s Karen’s birthday this week and I wanted to get a little gift to her in time. So, after unpacking we were off again. You could tell how nice the weather is from the volume of traffic so the journey was almost an hour. Mike dropped me off in front of another ASDA and left. Plucking up my courage I went inside and headed for the cafe. It was great to see her arrive and the hug was fantastic.Big shock, half a minute later Joanne her sister arrived and I got double the dose. We had lunch and then went round the shops finding a birthday gift for my nephew Lee James. Joanne had to leave to go to work about 2.00 pm but Karen being a veteran shopper stuck with me. Eventually we’d walked as far as we could and I let Mike know I was ready whenever he was. He was there in less than ten minutes. I hugged Karen goodbye and got into Mike’s car. He drove us home. It was about 4.30 pm when we got home. I made Mike a coffee, sat him in front of the TV where football was on and came to look at my mail. It’s as well his ear trumpet wasn’t handy to hear my choice language. I stayed hard at it until 6.45 pm when I needed a break and went through to the lounge. Still  *****y football! I watched a programme with him and was going to come back through at 9.00 pm when I saw the start of an X-Men film so I delayed my start by half an hour. I’ve been at it continuously since then with messages and blog. I hope you’ve all had a good week.

Don’t forget if there’s a particular record you want me to play that shows your taste of means something to you, Shout out.

Be Upstanding

Be Upstanding

 

Caught Upstanding

Caught Upstanding

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