The Fishy Interview & The Collapse of the Coffin Saga

Sunday. I read until about 1.00 am last night before turning off the light and trying for sleep. I’m not sure how well I did or how long it took to attain it but I do remember sitting up very distressed after being out with Ju and losing her somehow. It was very vivid. What else is a little odd about last night is that I woke at 5.10 am sitting upright in my chair in the lounge. Being there isn’t strange, it’s not remembering going there that is almost as though I sleepwalked like I did as a child.

It being Sunday, very dark and grim with the rain from Hurricane Bertha, gifted to us by those kind Americans, bouncing off the pavements, I knew not to expect Michael up anytime yet. At 7.00 am I went through to feel the very grateful and friendly fish, make myself a piece of toast. throw my meds down my throat and make the first coffee of the day. I answered those messages that required it and made comments where necessary on my blog and others and amazingly was done by 8.30 am. Truth to be told I felt tired so decided to go and nod off in my chair again. It turned out to be more a case of resting my eyes than sleeping so I was still awake when Shock, Horror, Mike walked into the room under his own steam at about 9.00 am. I’m afraid I let him make his own coffee and didn’t really engage in much conversation though I did answer him. I just couldn’t open my eyes and didn’t want him asking what was wrong with them.

Last night Mike’s mood had been a bit off. He listed problems with the world, laid the blame where he wanted it and did everything in a raised voice. I’m not going to say he’s all wrong, he’s not, but his manner brooked no argument and unfortunately I’m a bit of a devil’s advocate ( even when I agree with him) trying to be calm and getting him to look at two sides. Perhaps he thought my quietness today was as a result of him flying off the handle.That was OK. Anyway, with the rain belting down outside, he asked what I wanted to do and I wasn’t bothered. Neither was he it seems. I did come up with some options but he thought maybe I’d prefer to work on and keep up to date until lunchtime. I decided to give it a go and returned to my room, but first, EBAY. I found something I thought Mike would enjoy and called him to see it expecting him to look and go. He made space on the edge of my bed and stayed so by the time it came to dress ready to go out for lunch he was still there and so was all my mail. We set off for lunch at 12.20 pm.

Traffic was slow and there were some small floods on the coast road where drains couldn’t keep up the pace. The weather was obviously good for The Ivy as the car park was well used. Luckily though our favourite table was free. Shella was cooking and Tariq was helping her as well as helping Angie wait on tables and make drinks. Their very pretty daughter Amber was helping in the kitchen area too. Angie made our drinks while Mike and I decided on food. Mike, pork, leek and chilli sausages, mash and peas with an apple and chutney dressing and gravy. Coward, pork sausages, mash and peas. While we were waiting we checked to see if Tariq had been able to dismantle Mike’s coffin for transportation. He had so fingers crossed we wouldn’t need he roof down while the rain is bouncing down. Dinner was lovely but there was no chance to chat to anyone today Tariq being so busy especially.I paid the bill and we prepare to leave. Tariq came flying out to help us transport the load to the car and even I did my bit, carrying the head part of the coffin which should go in the boot. Everything went in with the roof up. Yay, only I’d have to sit in the back behind Mike. Tariq gave us hugs and we left.

Mike dropped me off at home, rang his Dad to say he wouldn’t visit today with such a bad storm and then set off home. I was turning the computer on before he’d turned the corner and spent the next four hours there until I was practically straight. I had some toast and a tiny portion of BFG which I shall be forced yet again to finish on my own and then watched antique shows until 8.00 pm. I’m now caught up on mail, post finished and I’m going for a read. Night All.

Oh Mummy, you didn’t?

A Picture of Innocence

 

Monday. 3.07 am this morning and I wondered if it’s worth going to bed anymore, not that I do go to bed since I only lie on the top with the heat as it has been. I worked until almost 6.00 am then found I was tired so I headed for my chair. The fish would have to take a chance on me not being too long. They were lucky, I was up again at 7.10 am. I was even luckier as they didn’t seem to notice the extra few minutes I pinched. I didn’t bother with breakfast as I remembered the sacrifice I was having to make with the BFG. Having to eat the whole thing myself, I thought I might have some for tea. After all, I’ve got a full lemon meringue in the fridge too that has to be eaten. Still, I have broad shoulders and can take up this load.

I brought my coffee back to the bedroom and played catch up with the mail again. I made such headway I even managed to play with a couple of pictures to send to my niece being very careful this time not to send anything that would make her cry. Her boss would find it odd when she leaves crying on a Friday and returns crying on a Monday. When playtime was over I went back to work. I hadn’t bothered to get dressed as I’d no intention of going anywhere but a message from my friend Lis saying she’d pop in changed my mind about dressing. One look at me in my lounge pants and I wouldn’t see her for dust. She was coming at about 11.00 am so I had time to make myself decent and to make a real dent in the mail. I managed the mail anyway. Lis is coming because I let her know there’s an invitation to a birthday party waiting for her.

She arrived almost on time, just fashionably late perhaps by ten minutes. That’s OK as I was able to have a cigarette. Though I spray the room, Lis doesn’t mind too much as she was a smoker herself some twenty years ago and the smell doesn’t offend. I passed her the invitation ( once I’d let her in and seated her) then went to make her a coffee. She was delighted to be invited to Reuben’s 1st and was talking about kidnapping her grandchildren to take. I’ve openly admitted I’m not looking forward to it with all the strangers and their parents too. What if they don’t have jelly and ice cream? I’m hoping to go for lunch first that day and perhaps Mike will drop me off there on his way to his Dad’s, though he is a party animal and might stay a while. My nieces will be there too and may protect me. We had a good old chin wag as we both worked for the same authority and know people in common.

Lis left me at midday and I decided to have lunch and watch my antique programme. I wasn’t especially hungry so stayed with ham and coleslaw sandwiches. See, I still managed my meat and two veg. The programme was quite interesting, two teams of two people and an expert each given £300 to buy three items from an antique fair to then sell at an auction. It always struck me as being the wrong way about as they’re buying at the most expensive venue. Still, the teams bought their items today and each spent less that £100. A good move as the winner is the one who makes the most profit or loses the least. They didn’t seem to spend well today at all and yet one team made 3 profits and one 3 losses. The profits were £47.50 which they get to keep. I should have mentioned that the experts can buy a bonus item with what hasn’t been spent. One made a small profit and the other wiped her face. Sometimes the experts are atrocious including one I understand has now been shipped off to the U.S. to serve as expert on one of their shows. That causes much hilarity over here.

TV over I returned to work for the afternoon. Taking things easy until at 3.30 pm I decided it was time for a siesta which lasted till 4.30 pm. I watched quizzes then until, 6.30 pm and came back to get stuck in so I can skive off at 9.00 pm to see a programme where children or parents find parents or children they were separated from very young. For the children they often need to get answers as to whether they were deserted and unloved while the parents want to know how the children they had to give up have fared. I had my tissues at the ready. So I worked hard to leave me free and hopefully wouldn’t have too much post to do. But as is often the case the gods decided to have a chuckle. I came back all red eyed as you’d expect. It was a  mother, pregnant young, desperate to find the daughter she’s been made to give up almost 40 years ago and a man of almost 50 who wanted so many answers about why he’d been given up for adoption, from his mother…the upsetting part in this one was that though the girl had given her son up, she’d gone on to marry the boys father and then had two more boys. In both instances the reunions were touching and the answers satisfactory to the children. There was a ton of mail waiting as though the post van had watched for me disappearing before dumping a sack load. It’s taken a long time to catch up and I’m tired so it’s off to bed I go.

Tuesday. 3.56 am Today. I decided to conduct a survey of all the occupants temporary and otherwise to see how long it takes them to become fully awake and functioning after waking up. Well, there’s me, and I’m fascinated to see that the moment I wake I’m functioning.No ‘coming round’ time, no ‘I need a coffee first’ time, it’s zero to hero. The fish I had to interview en masse as they were all waiting at 6.00 pm as though they knew food was coming.They said they’re always on the ball as they don’t sleep. I’m not sure whose voice it was that said “Unlike you who wastes all that time every day” but I’m considering short rations.  Sarcasm, because it’s no longer legal to beat someone up. I wonder if the fish wrote that. Michael was the last to be interviewed and all I got was a couple of grunts. So much for the intelligent species.

I actually did well this morning and had the post cleared for 6.00 am when I went to the fish. I even had time to write a piece on the new blog about Robin Williams, another tortured comedian to go far too early. The same age as me in fact.I couldn’t be bothered with breakfast but decided I’d have some toast when Yvonne and I meet up for coffee. I can take my food tablets then. So, I just shoveled the normal meds down and took my coffee through. I got dressed for the weather since the internet and my phone app both show Chester and here as having a bright but showery day with heavier outbreaks this afternoon. By 7.20 am I was up to date again . Time to struggle into the backpack and pick up the bag of Ugo’s birthday gifts for tomorrow.I got as far as the crossing and who should stop to let me cross but my bus. As soon as I was over it shot off and carried on uphill to the stop. I mention this because I’m heavily clothed, laden with bags, using crutches and about to start slogging uphill to catch the bus that was just next to me. When I finally got there the driver said,” You should have stopped me I’d have let you get on there”. He sees me take the bus almost weekly? I texted Yvonne to let her know I’d made it and would be there in three quarters of an hour and I’d meet her half an hour after that. I hadn’t done half the journey when I got a text to say she was there early, how far away was I? A bloody long way was my answer.

We met up at 9.00 am in the cafe and Reuben saw me coming and broke into a big grin. He knows a victim when he sees one. I drew the short straw and had to hold him while Yvonne went to order. She came back with the drinks and put the wriggling monster in a high chair, he wasn’t happy and his lungs clearly told us so along with the rest of the City. Then toast and jam arrived and you could hear a pin drop. I enjoyed mine but of course totally forgot about tablets. Ah well, I’ll just have to have some of that lemon meringue for tea that I’been left to eat on my own.( sob). We moved on from the cafe to see if we could find something for me to give Reuben to unwrap on his birthday. Since his real gifts, a ball pool with balls is already at their house it won’t be going to his party. He has some nice coloured trousers I got a few weeks ago so Yvonne suggested a top in complimentary colours. I agreed so we went to look. Naturally today there was every colour but or his size was missing. I ended up getting a nice teddy bear with something like ‘A gift from Grandad’ on it.

We trogged around another shop and bought a few small gifts and odd items before heading off to Tesco’s to get some fresh bread and a few other items. That seemed to take a while so it was lunch time when we got out. By the door there was a man with a bucket on which was written abandoned dogs. I threw £1 in and do you know he didn’t give me one. I should do him under the trades descriptions act.

A place we’d eaten at in the dim and distant had closed down. Today we found it had reopened under new ownership and decided to give it a try. Very spacious inside and with a very helpful member of staff who took our order for drinks to give us time with the menu. When he came back decisions had been made. Yvonne was going to have a duck wrap, “Oh sorry, I think that’s off the menu today,” odd, because that’s where I found it. Ok then, Yvonne will have the prawn wrap on wholemeal , side salad and an order of chips. I will have the beef sandwich with a side salad and chips, hold the horseradish but yes to onions and mustard. He came back twice to check whether Yvonne wanted white or wholemeal, we were the only customers and he forgot! He asked how I wanted my steak sandwich and I reminded him I’d ordered beef sandwiches not the steak. When it arrived they’d held the horseradish, the mustard and the onions and I got crisps not chips. But the beef was glorious, so thickly cut and succulent all it needed was a little salt.

We left there and went to pick some milk for Reuben and intended to go our separate ways then. Unfortunately I saw the word Reductions written across the window of a shop so be fair, we had to check it out. In the end all I got was a teeshirt for Mike. We hugged and Yvonne headed off to change for work. Reuben was looking a bit bewildered and waving to me as they left. I crossed the road for my bus stop but realised Yvonne forcibly dragging me into that last shop had made me miss the one I’d intended to get. Gritting my teeth I faced the crowds and headed for the bus station to catch an alternative. I only had to wait 20 minutes.As it was the bust that took the longer route it took an hour and twenty minutes to get me home. The rain that I’d dressed for was bright, warm sunshine and I was very uncomfortable. I was also uncomfortable dropping off on the bus and then the driver would stop and I’d move forward and be woken up. And a little girl and mum got on. The mother parked the pushchair just in front of me in the space available. She was a bright smiley little thing but every time I nodded she shouted “Yerch” or something and that brought me back again.

I was in at 4.00 pm and spent until 6.00 pm catching up before having a ham sandwich ( with tablets) and a portion of lemon meringue while I watched Law and Order. Straight back in here to attack the other 100 or so messages with more coming in all the time. I was up to date before starting this and now it’s back for a last assault before bed.

Tit for Tat- He started it!

Wednesday.This will of necessity, If I’m to get any sleep tonight be a very short post. It was a 3.05 am start  followed by a 5.20 am finish. A few Zzzz’s floated through the lounge from my chair  before starting afresh at 6.50 am with the ritual feeding of the fish and the other morning routines. At 9.30 am I went to Pauline’s for baps and cigarette supplies before tonight’s visit. I worked all morning to lunchtime at midday and had some TV treats till 1.30 pm. Again I started work and was kept going until 4.40 pm when I got to see the end of a quiz.

The card sharps arrived at 5.30 pm and watched the end of a quiz while I made drinks. Then started the games. Two of scrabble. First blood to me and the second game to Matt with me being placed third. Oh the shame of it. Nomination next which Dil won easily with me languishing in third again. Finally Crazy 8’s where despite a great start I completed my hat-trick and came last. They went home grinning. Wash up, tidy up.

187 messages between finishing on the computer and getting back here which has made it difficult to catch my breath. It’s gone midnight and I want some sleep so I’m off now. I’ll try and get back to leave a music video tomorrow but I’m off out with Mujo so don’t hold your collective breaths.

Thursday.3.17 am today so maybe things have settled again. I’d hoped for longer as last night was fairly late but maybe I dropped off quickly. I don’t remember. The landing didn’t hurt either. (Sorry, it’s been a day for terrible humour today, and the day’s not even over). I paid a visit to the loo and decided to sit this morning as my hand was shaking a bit. Mike would say I’m letting my feminine side show again…too much, though I notice the seat is always down in a morning when he’s here.

I started work and since there was a smaller gap between me finishing last night and starting again this morning there weren’t as many messages as possible. I was able to delete three straight away from my main account as they were all headed ‘Please keep confidential’ which is the latest title used by the Nigerian con artists. One ‘Your account is suspended’ went the same way too. Just before 6.00 am I’d caught up and sat back in my chair for a cigarette. Big mistake, this chair isn’t as stable as my old one and I almost went a*** over elbow. I had to decide whether to face the fish early or to take a more leisurely approach. Since I swear they know what I’m doing before I do I thought it better to feed them first. The three plecs were waiting stuck to the glass like sentries so I wasted no time and with a cheery “Good morning” I fed them.

I went to take my food tabs and prepare for toast and coffee then took the rest of my morning meds. By the time I’d smoked another cigarette it was time to turn the toaster on and crisp up some bread from Tuesday rapidly going hard. As the coffee brewed on my wonderful Tassimo  ( Kenco medium roast today ) the toaster shot my breakfast six inches into the air and I played catch. All I caught were three burned fingers. At least it was hot enough to melt the butter nicely. I bit into it, or maybe I should say I tried. The crust was like rock and I nearly lost my remaining tooth. And that’s the tooth, the whole tooth and..well you get the picture. I had to go all dainty and find the chain saw to take the crusts off. What remained was small but perfect. I swallowed the after meal tabs and took my drink to the lounge where I wriggled a comfortable place on the cushion with my bottom, drank my coffee, closed my eyes and nodded off. Bliss.

I recovered consciousness at 7.45 am and went back to work with a new lease of life. As I did the work more came in. Nothing too much but I knew the box needed to be clear when MuJo arrived as it would be a while before I got back to it. I got dressed about 9.30 am in case they arrived early and nearly had to get changed again when there was a huge THUD. The postman had delivered a thick Christmas catalogue. Knowing I had no time to look at it I put it on the arm of the settee unthinkingly. I was up to date at 10.40am when I went through to the kitchen and saw Mujo approach.As it looked fairly warm out and John was in teeshirt I prepared cold drinks. John took one look at the catalogue and tore off the wrapper to see what special offers there were. Muriel told him off saying maybe I’d like to be the first and then picked up some photographs off the table and started looking through those until John finished looking at the ‘special’ pages and handed them over to her. For a few minutes I might not have been here. John was very complimentary about the photo wall and Muriel commented how much my father looked like his mother until I pointed out it was my mother’s mother and they didn’t have a car.( Go on, it’ll come to you. lol).

Not long after they got here there was a sound outside and Muriel asked if it was the binmen. Before I could answer there was a knock at the door and it was the gasman come to read the meter which was supposed to have been changed for a smart meter at least 6 months ago. Next time he’ll have to do his own scrambling to reach the meter and maybe they’ll get the job done. Two minutes after he’d gone a large delivery van drew up and Muriel said it was coming here. It turned out to be the bookcase I’d ordered earlier in the week for delivery tomorrow. I shouldn’t have carried it. We left about 11.15 to head towards lunch but also because I wanted to look for some postcards to send to a friend in Spain. I can’t believe how hard it is to find postcards in my town where there is a sacred well centuries old. Eventually I found some and took them to the post office to get stamps for them. A flight to Spain to deliver them would be cheaper. We went to John’s favourite chippie for lunch where he and I had liver and Muriel just a piece of chicken. It was very filling. From there John went to a charity shop ( where I bought a lovely magazine rack two weeks ago) and bought himself an oil painting of two galleons at war. Then Mu who I think had been buying some potatoes joined us and we went to the car and headed for Flint. The first job on arrival was to visit my favourite shop to buy chocolates for Temptations. As soon as I’d done that we could go for a drink. Ceri was in and she was grateful as they were all in a chocolate mood she told me. Lucky it was a big box then.

After drinks we did a few more shops without buying much and then headed back to my place. Once in I opened a small tub of ice cream and shared it between the two of them and had one of my dark choc ices. We nattered on for a while until they decided it was time to go at 4.45 pm. I waved them off and from that time on I was glued to the chair until 7.00 pm when I went to watch two old episodes of MASH. The humour is still as crisp as ever even though the war isn’t Korea these days. After that I took my evening meds and came through to finish my night’s work, which I haven’t forgotten means I owe a song from yesterday too.

Friday. When I woke at 3.07 am this morning I knew I was still tired but I wouldn’t get back to sleep just then. Fair enough, perhaps I will after doing some emails, I thought. I worked until 5.45 am and decided since I had the upside down imprint of my keyboard across my forehead that I’d give it a go. It took a while to do it but I dd . I nodded off in my chair and didn’t wake until 8.00 am. I knew this fish weren’t going to like the delay but I still hesitated and took my drug drawer through with me. After taking my morning meds I started filling the boxes with meds for the next week. I replaced empty boxes with new ones I’d ordered Monday and turning round to dispose of the empty foils what did I see? The fish, I’d forgotten them again. That became my next job and they studiously ignored me by sticking their heads against the end of the tank furthest from me. Stuck up little beggars I thought but wasn’t about to voice it. I took my food tab next and had a cigarette to time me for making the toast and eating it. I made a coffee whilst the bread toasted. Having eaten the toast I took my after food meds and took my coffee through.

As it was now 8.45 am it was time to be dressed which I did before doing some more mail. At 9.45 am I took a walk to Pauline’s for milk in case Mike is coming this weekend and renewed my lottery tickets. I also sent off the first of my three postcards to Espana. Coming home again I put the milk away and decided to clean my Tassimo that had shown the red light at breakfast. It normally takes about 20 mins and I was getting rather worried at 40 mins before it finally finished at 45 mins. Then I had to rinse things and set the machine to clear itself…. at least 4 times it said so that the whole job took over an hour. By now it was fast approaching lunch time so I cleared up my post and at 11.45 am took some micro-chips through to the kitchen. Again I took a pre food tablet them placed some ham on my plate and finally had a cigarette to time myself. Finally I was able to put the chips in and butter myself a bap. Ham. chips and petit pois was a nice meal especially since the bap was nice and soft for a chip butty.

I enjoyed my lunch and was ready to watch my antiques show. I must have been halfway through when I found my eyelids needed checking again. I wasn’t away for long as I was awake for the auction but I thought of how embarrassing it could have been just 15 minutes sooner. I’d have an impression of my face in the peas and funny green buboes all over my face. I turned the TV off and came back to work. Strange , no message from Mike, it must be that he’s gone to his Dad’s first to help him find shoes so I’ll probably see him about 7.00 pm. I worked steadily through the afternoon and finally got a message at 5.00 pm to say he’s on his way but from Rugby so it’ll be three hours before I see him. By 6.15 pm I’d had enough so grabbed an ice lolly and went to watch some of the European Athletics. I felt so sorry for the competitors performing in the rain. At 7.00 pm I went for a shower and shock, horror, I had to was my own hair this week. If you’re not eating and don’t have a weak stomach try to imagine a 6ft fella bending double in a very small space so he can wash his hair upside down and try to keep his balance at the same time. Mission successful though very uncomfortable but no angina attack. I did however have an Olympic swimming pool on the floor outside the shower. Drat! I may need to work on this a bit.

Mike arrived at minutes past eight and was in annoying mood from the start.”Whoever it is has won the bet” he said pointing at my Mr. Men lounge pants.  I heard all about his battle with the coffin bookcase and felt guilty about mentioning mine. Mind you, he hasn’t mentioned any help yet either. I watched an NCIS episode with him though I didn’t hear it as the mouth was on top form. I listened to him say he’s got a lot of time off in the next two weeks and threaten me with spending it here. He knows all about low blows. Then I came through to start work and he’s been in three times to disturb me and stop the creative flow ( or that’s my excuse anyway). He mentioned that he has been convinced for a long time that the Bjork song It’s oh so quiet is a remake but couldn’t remember who’d done it. Today he finally found out and I had to be treated to a listen. My mistake when I said surely whoever it was wouldn’t scream like Bjork. So, dear friends, guess what piece of music from 1951 I’m going to leave you with tonight. A song as old as me!

Saturday. 4.45 am came the rising of the lark this morning. It must have been a little foggy out as he came to the surface coughing and spluttering though being the perfect gentleman he is, he did keep one wink over his beak so as not to disturb other little birdies.  Excuse me while I roll round the floor in merriment and mirth for a minute at that thought. Armageddon wouldn’t disturb certain little birdies. I checked my lottery first and once the tears had dried started on the mail . There was quite a bit but I was in high hopes of finishing before we went out by using the old formula eeny meeny miney moe to decide which ones I binned. I settled on anything with a vowel in the first word.

At 6.30 am I was quite close but decided to break away to get dressed ready for depositing the rubbish outside. I couldn’t face breakfast so went straight into battle with the fish who I’m quite sure knew it was Saturday and a no feeding day  as they were swimming round in circles with little placards saying ‘Eekwul Rites 4 Fush Fish’. Look I know they go round in schools but I never said they were intelligent, just sly.I could see the bubbles coming from their mouths but mercifully could not hear the chant so gave up and fed them. I had my meds and grabbed the food waste to take out, collecting the paper, tin and plastic on the way then deposited them at the end of the path. It was approaching 7.00 am so I put the stuff in Mike’s cup and boiled the kettle. It’s not true what they say by the way, a watched kettle does boil, and just as it did the alarm rang. Just as Mike turned his alarm off and before he could fully regain deep sleep I announced his drink quite cheerfully (and loudly).There was a definite OK in the grunting somewhere so I grabbed my own drink and went back to work until the alarm rand again or until I threw a cup of water, whichever came first. I brought the mail up to date, YAY. My timing was perfect, the alarm sang again and I called in his door about not letting his coffee go cold. “Ohyesohyesohyesohyes” he said and the legs swung to the edge. Hard luck for him that I’d already departed before those toenails could pin me to the wall like a butterfly.

I know you’ll be shocked to hear that we left the house a tad later than 7.45 am and were well on the way to our destination before the eight o’clock warning came on the radio. At five past I was at the cash machine hoping the bank manager was off duty today.It didn’t take very long to do the shopping. I thought putting food in the basket would just encourage him. We stopped for coffee as my mouth was very dry and I hadn’t brought any pastilles out. Then as I stopped for cigarettes Mike who was desperate to smoke one went outside and loaded the bags into the car. This break in routine was to prove costly later.

We headed for Flint so Mike could drool over and banter with Ceri at Temptations. I have to say there are few men who wouldn’t drool. First though we walked over to buy chocolates for the girls and to pick up a few odds and sods here and there.That was when we discovered Mike had left the rest of my shopping bags on the handle of the trolley at the supermarket.  Ceri wasn’t on the counter when we went into Temptations but young Kyle made our drinks without having to ask what was wanted. We’re like furniture in that place now. Ceri appeared from upstairs where she’d been making sandwiches and immediately began saying hello to everyone. So many regulars now. She was telling us she’s due to go away soon on an activity holiday and has to use a trampoline which sen Mike into paroxysms of delight at the thought. A lot of laughter later we moved on. I picked some choc ices up from the frozen food shop then we headed home. I mentioned to Mike I’d found out a road we knew connected with another road we knew…unbeknownst to us. We detoured and followed it. We unpacked and put away then Mike did Ju’s flower while I tried to catch up on mail…the Internet WAS DOWN (sob). It took ages to figure out I’d knocked a wire and to get things going again so that when we left for lunch I had still got a long list.

We arrived at the Ivy to find someone (Tariq) had started putting up a fence either side of the entrance to make it look nicer and more welcoming. It was an excellent job. We sat down inside and it was fairly busy. Angie was serving at the counter and it seemed Tariq was assisting in the kitchen as well as serving the food. Angie made our drinks and as we got them Tariq brought an order out and came to say hello. He asked Mike about the coffin bookshelf and whether it had gone up OK and as per instructions. So began a saga that included visual representations by knife and fork. It seems the sides had attached to the top fine and the base to the sides.It appears the first three shelves from low to high had gone in nicely but when the last shelf had to be forced into position and Mike had started screwing ( I really shouldn’t use that term in connection with him) it appears the top had sprung on one side leaving the screws in the wood and the top split where the screws had been. My eyes glazed over but Tariq being the nice man he is offered to redo that section again. We had the company of an elderly gentleman at our table for lunch which meant that for 5 minutes the conversation was a lower key than it often is. It didn’t last long and he was soon joining in.

Lunch over we came home again and I had no excuse not to start work again. I stayed at it until about 6.15 pm then made some tea for us and watched a bit of TV but at 9.00 pm I had to excuse myself again and come back. I’ve done as much as I can for tonight so I’ll just wish you all a Great New Week and send Hugs Galore.

First Shoes

How do they look Mummy?

 

Ordering the coffin & Decorating the Floors

Sunday. It felt like the longest day today instead of yesterday, that was because I’d worked, seen to fish, eaten, drugged up ( and probably down) and worked again all without hearing a human voice. The fact that Mike talks in his sleep changes nothing. He was chunnering every time I went past his door but no matter which clogs I wore, nothing moved him. The sunshine was bright and I was considering going to evensong ( cough) when I finally heard him move. I gave up on Solitaire and went to make him a coffee. I got the usual grunt as he passed me to put last night’s mug in the sink, for me to wash of course. Another grunt as he passed me going the other way then he sat in his chair and lit the first cigarette of the day. ( Those between midnight and sleep don’t count and if you don’t sleep they all count as yesterdays). He asked what I’d like to do this morning and I just fell about laughing. Actually I reminded him he has to leave early today to meet his son and go to repair his father’s washing machine which they didn’t manage last week. Also, I reminded him that it’s Ceri’s birthday next weekend and she will be away so it would be a good idea to take her a card this morning.

About 10.00 am we set off for Flint and pulled up at Home Bargain’s so I could buy her a nice bottle of wine and a bottle bag. Then we headed for Temptations to deliver it. As I ordered our coffee I asked if she was in and typically she was on a day off. We’re not doing too well in that regard this weekend are we? Still, I was able to leave it for her and she’s back in tomorrow. When she sees it’s from the Brothers Grimm she’ll know exactly who it is.  As we finished the drinks it was 11.00 am and Mike had said we needed to lunch about midday so I suggested we head straight there so we can gauge the wait. The trip took half an hour and the car park told us the good weather was still keeping people away and down on the beach. We ordered our usual drinks from Angie giving us plenty of time to decide what we wanted to eat. No sign of Tariq.

Allowing fifteen minutes cooking time we ordered lunch about 11.45 am and went outside for a smoke. We think it draws attention to passing trade if they see someone standing about with a cuppa outside. Angie let us know when the meal was served and we headed back in. Mike nipped to the loo and I just started eating as Tariq appeared. He’s amazingly handy and had just been making a wheelbarrow planter. He headed back to finish it and Mike reappeared. As soon as I said he’s missed Tariq he ignored the meal and shot off after him. I think I mentioned Tariq had made a great diisplay case shaped like a coffin for some of the gifts he sells. Mike wanted to order one as a stand for all his dragons and wanted Tariq to know he wasn’t joking. As it happens neither am I, one a bit slimmer would make a fantastic bookcase and I may just order one too. If the cafe is slow, maybe he can make an income from things he makes. Before we left I bought 100g of jelly beans and made sure Angie took the money, I also made sure I gave her the money for our meals while Tariq was otherwise occupied. Hugs and kisses from Anngie and Shella and hugs from Tariq ensures our further custom and I’ve now started ordering Christmas gifts.

Mike ran me home ( I wish he’d let me get in the car) and came in long enough to see something I’d bought on ebay. Then it was time to say goodbye for another week. I spent the afternoon catching up on mail amassed while  were out. I was suffering such loneliness that I had to comfort eat half a BFG at teatime. If only Mike had reminded me it was still here and untouched he could have taken it so they could all have enjoyed it at his dad’s. It’s his fault I’m the size of a house. I watched a comedy film afterwards with some penguins and then finally came back here to get straight for the night. I’m off out tomorrow instead of Tuesday. I want to go see my poorly little grandson.

 

Monday. I was up to date with my post this morning before I had to leave the house at 7.30 to catch my bus. The sun was out and I was a physical wreck by the time I managed to get to the stop and then onto a seat. I sat on the left so that my vision wouldn’t be obscured by either a partition or a driver.Why I decided it would be good to see the journey I don’t know as I invariably either pretend to be asleep or fall asleep for real, today it was the latter . Not a constant sleep but lots of a few moments here or there between stops.

When I got to Chester there was no sign of Yvonne but I didn’t panic as I thought she’d taken my advice to meet in the Costa so that neither of them were too much in the sun. The heat and the sunlight had cranked up another notch or two while I journeyed. I was desperate to get rid of my jacket. She wasn’t in the Costa so before ordering a drink I sent a text. It seems she was at the bus station, just not where my bus comes in so she hotfooted it down to join me.  We ordered drinks and the young assistant was kind enough to carry them outside for me. We ordered toast for Reuben but he didn’t seem interested though he was as bright as a button for me, just full of smiles. Yvonne said he hadn’t smiled at all over the last 3 days when the poor lamb has been so explosive from every conceivable place. Obviously his pops has a good effect on him. I was able to empty my backpack of the outfit i’d got Reuben last week and also a gift I’d bought her on Saturday. That meant I could fold my jacket up and carry it on my back now. That was definitely better. I may have made a mistake wearing grey and black in this heat but white is just not practical with the colour of my moustache and beard these days. We enjoyed the drinks and then started to walk in the direction of a shop I told her I’d seen from the bus. In fact, the place was even nicer than I’d expected with a heavy Oriental theme and some fantastic furniture. I managed to restrict myself to a couple of small items.

From there we walked back towards town and paid a visit to the market. We managed to get a cuppa there and gave Reuben a small sponge cake to try. He did eat some and then decorated the floor with the rest. We leave destruction behind us wherever we go. In truth Yvonne always tries to tidy up behind him. We continued on our journey. I’d meant to say there was a sale in one of our favourite shops but I forgot and we sailed on by. We tried a clothes shop that sold  baby stuff but I didn’t have time to apply for a mortgage to buy the clothes in it. Since Yvonne needed some flip-flops we decided to carry on to Primark and see what they had for Reuben and get her sandals at the same time. I ended up with some shoes and a pair of lounge pants from there somehow too.

We went to Pizza Hut for lunch and had the salad buffet. Yes I know, I’m as shocked as you are believe me. But it was nice. From there we headed to Boots the Chemist and got a couple more tops for Reuben before I decided it was time I called it a day. Despite protestations they walked me to the bus stop and waited until it arrived. I felt so guilty as they’d have quite a trek to get home and it was still roasting. The outward journey was much better without my jacket though the heat still made my eyes droop. Back in Greenfield I dropped my repeat prescription into the chemist and made a point of saying I was having to use an old  request as I didn’t get one with the current drugs. My subtlety probably fell on deaf ears though the young lady said she’s have to run one off the computer as the one I was using was too old. I’ll have to check the bag on Thursday to make sure I have one this time.

Then it was home and virtually straight into battle with the mail from today.  I worked till 6.00 pm then had Law and Order for an hour while I ate the other half of the BFG, reluctantly of course but Mike going early leaves me no choice, I don’t want it to go off. At 7.00pm I rejoined battle and have been here ever since. Wish me luck.

Chester Cathedral

Chester Cathedral

 

Chester City Old Roman Walls

Chester City

 

 

 

Laughing for Pops

I’m in trouble again.

 

Tuesday. A strange start to the day. I worked from 04.30 am  to 06.30 am on messages but suddenly decided I wasn’t feeling great. I lay down for a few minutes to recover and woke up again at dead on 08.30 am. I decided that was too late to start thinking about breakfast but that I’d better feed the fish  before they made fish food of me. Then I made a cup of coffee, took my meds and returned to  the fray. It’s funny how many people write when you’re away for ten minutes or so. At 9.30 am I went out to post a letter to the Pensions Agency. They asked me to provide a breakdown of the deductions in my private pension. I’m pretty sure it’s all tax but unfortunately the Pensions people are the ones with the paperwork which I sent to provide proof of the pension figure and they haven’t returned the damned thing. Anyway, since they know the gross figure and the nett figure surely they can manage a little maths. After the post box I called into Pauline’s for some fresh baps to enjoy with my SALAD lunch. If I’m not careful I could get healthy like this.

Back at home again I restarted my battle with mail. There was one wonderful message from Canada where a friend and fellow blogger had dedicated a Welsh Lullaby played by her on the harp to me. I’m not sure if that indicated that I send her to sleep or not but I’m taking it as a great compliment. If you haven’t seen it, I reblogged it. It’s not a Welsh harp she’s using but I’m sure it’s Celtic.  There were also 4 messages about my non-existent account with Santander. I don’t know what I’m going to do since they’ve now suspended me ! Oh woe. There was just 1 message from a female bank manager with a scheme to make us both wealthy ( though 60-40 in her favour which hardly seemed fair considering all the effort I’d have to go to providing a bank account number for Santander). Mayhap my popularity is on the wane. By 11.30 am I was as up to date as I could get and decided to go and take my pre-lunch tablet and find something on the TV to bore  entertain me for a while. I shall return.

Since TV is full of either football or Wimbledon I was back sooner than expected. I spent some time faffing trying to see if there was some photographic software that would allow me to get the cup of coffee effect or the sketch effect on the computer For some reason I ended up fascinated by the coffins you can buy on ebay, and what great prices they are too. I had to give up in the end as I couldn’t find anything that showed they did what I wanted. After a while I found myself nodding off over the keyboard and went to have a doze in my chair. I put an awful afternoon film on for company, luckily I slept for so long I missed most of it. Guilt forced me back to checking the rush of mail to say my Barclay’s account is suspended now too. If I’m not careful, it’s possible all the accounts I don’t have in all the other banks will go too. Such a shame that I can’t manage to hang on to them. I fear for the funds I don’t have in them either. Will they be confiscated. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk when it’s teatime. I have to have tea tonight since I didn’t bother with breakfast. A quick toasted ham sandwich and I’m as right as rain again.

I watched my Law and Order then for some reason turned to the people who buy the contents of storage units. What an obnoxious pair are always at the front though in fairness maybe he’s marginally less so than she. Bidding prices up just to make someone pay more. It was almost a pleasure to see those attacked by her bitchy mouth actually make a good profit from the contents. It was enough to bring me back to the conmen. A lot of posts to comment on and/or retweet for people. I try to help authors as much as possible. I know how difficult the marketing can be. I’m up to date for now so it’s time for bed and  a read. Night y’all.

 Such a shame about Brian Connelly.

Wednesday. Very little to report today. I was almost fooled by a message marked from Google this morning until I realised Google can probably spell better. I had a message from the Tax Service HMRC to say they owe me a tax rebate which may well be true though the message wasn’t, and a message from Barclay’s Bank telling me how to de-suspend my account. This was actually followed by a genuine message about Barclay’s which still drew little attention from me as I still haven’t opened an account with them. The weather was still nice so I stuck with salad stuff for lunch. There was a message from LinkedIn to say it’s been 5 years this week since I started the Buthidars and I’ve had two kind messages of congratulations from friends on that site.

I worked much of the afternoon to get as clear as possible before games night, However, I started watching a film with Miss Marple where I couldn’t remember whodunit. Everybody turned up in the last quarter of an hour and I was busy seeing to drinks when it ended so I’ll have to watch out for the repeat of the repeat. Since Lee joined us tonight we got the new Scrabble out to introduce him to it. Dil-1, Matt- 1, Me-0, Lee- 0. Not an auspicious start. At Nomination I beat them hands down finally breaking my duck. And the last game, Crazy 8’s, well Lee took that off me but at least I came second and he went away happy. Following the usual tidy up and the traditional washing of the pots I came through to find 82 messages awaiting my attention. It’s now time to have one last burst of energy and head for bed.

 Another loss to music.

Thursday. Such a lucky week you’re having. The highlight of my day was having a delivery from the chemist and finding a new repeat prescription request enclosed. I’d been up and working at just gone 4.00 am without too many weird messages. Normal breakfast at 7.00 am though I was daring and had cereal instead of butter lathered toast. At 9.30 am I went to Pauline’s for the new lottery tickets. The Euro is 19m on Friday. I  could force myself to manage on that though I might have to let the servants and the family go. At lunch time I suffered the last day of green stuff this week though I confess it was only a token amount since the rest had wilted so badly. I did make up for it with coleslaw on my meat and salad cream on my potatoes.

For some strange reason I started watching a cowboy film after lunch until I saw that the Miss Marple from last night was to be repeated. So, I went and worked up until the last half hour of that . I got the right baddie but I admit it was probably because that’s the person I wanted it to be rather than any great deductions on my part.              Since I’d had the two meals I have to eat in a day I got away with nibbling a packet of crisps for tea. I won’t be telling you what I had during the evening though except that it’s named after the planet of war in Holst’s suite. A little more work to keep me ticking over was followed by my Law and Order, an episode of Murder She Wrote       ( Both of which I’d seen) and my new episode of Big Bang Theory. I was heartbroken to see there are just two more to come in this series. That done and a smile still lingering on my face I came back through to catch up on mail and do the blog. Tomorrow Mike says he’s coming and I’ll be able to get him to show me how to email from my phone and also how to pay for an app using paypal I hope. Then I can have the fantastic pho,to lab which lets you make such great changes to pictures.

Friday. I thought I got up this morning at 5.05 am but after about an hour of messages it was only 5.10 am unless time was really dragging. There were a couple of minor blips in the mail with those prannocks in Nigeria, but thick skinned as ever I ignored them and concentrated on the positive, the main part of which was this piece of superb entertainment compliments of my good friend CJ at  http://morguemouse.com/                                                                                                                                                                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkbZlautuUc&list=PLH1hyB3WyeKRvFu6bsepeFvsNPXzd8uWr

I checked the bank and that put a smile on my face as the pension had arrived. Not fantastic but any complaints I have to lay at my own door not theirs. At 6.30 am I went through to feed the fish ( to a cat if I had the choice) and to have my breakfast. I reverted to toast again this morning to make sure there was enough milk for the arrival of my bro. I took my meds and went back through for a while with my coffee. I was staying fairly on top of things so I decided to take a short break and make Mike’s bed. I went for bright, bold red polka dots because I know how much he likes plain dark colours. Maybe that’ll shift the beggar in the morning. I set the washer going and returned to the bedroom. Ouch, 58 messages in less than an hour !!!!  There was a welcome interruption at 10.30  am when the usual “On Way” message arrived, allowing 3 hours I said I’d wait for my lunch until he arrived.

I caught up again in time for the washer ending it’s cycle ( we were working in tandem- boom boom) so I set it to dry. I worked on and off until 1.00 pm then as I was clear I went to put the stuff in Mike’s cup. Again my timing was good as he arrived at 10 minutes past just as the drier ended. I might just have let it go a tad too long as the creases wouldn’t shake out. If  I don’t do some i***ing soon I won’t be able to get into the kitchen. I’m willing to pay £10 per hour for two hours a week if you know anyone daft who doesn’t mind some light cleaning and heave i***ing. It’s not bad once it’s under control. If anyone thinks that’s a mean figure I can only claim I’m not au fait with current rates for domestics but I do know it’s above the minimum wage.I folded everything and put it in the basket then joined Mike in the lounge, poor soul is coming apart at the seams.

By the time the coffee was done I was starving and Mike said he hadn’t stopped on the way. Naturally we went to the Ivy. It was woefully quiet again. Maybe the predicted bad weather for the weekend will send people in. I hope so. Obviously we were able to have a great chat with Tariq today and even a little with Shella who was the only other staff member there but she was cooking our meal for part of the time. Mike talked about the bookcase Tariq is making him to hold his dragon collection and it may be ready next week. When it came time to go Tariq plonked himself in the chair next to me and started “Just this once David, go on, just for me, this once.” Mike responded before I did “Ever heard a phrase to do with hell freezing over?” and on it went back and forth between the three of us, one Yea and two Nays. In the end I compromised and said I wouldn’t leave a tip. He professes his friendship and says we are more than just customers which is fantastic but I have to make him understand I don’t take advantage of friends.

Tariq walked to the car with us ( probably to make sure we left) and told us all the plans he has for outside, a chicken run, an aviary, a waterfall into the stream ( one does exist but needs a boost to be of any value) and maybe even a car wash. He knows we wish him well. Mike drove us home and as I made him a coffee we started on the phone. OMG these things are not easy for Old Farts. Eventually I got the app I wanted but not via the method I wanted. I also got the email account set up so I could send pictures to my computer. Unfortunately it now means I get emails on my phone which I didn’t want. You win some you lose some. After that Mike cut my hair and trimmed the beard so I was able to shave and get back my muttonchops. Having a shower next was a doddle, before I went I got Mike to spit on my hair then quickly blow, a wash and dry in no time flat. I donned the new lounge pants as promised. Say hello to Mr. Grumpy.

Mr Grumpy

We watched part of a quiz together then I started to watch the new Law and Order before I realised I’d better come and go to battle with the messages again and do the blog. So there you are, a much more interesting day

Saturday. I was up to date on messages this morning before going though to allow the fish to know it’s daytime and to have my breakfast. I put the tank light on and backed away quickly so I couldn’t see the faces Michael says are very sad when I don’t feed them. I don’t believe him but why take chances? Just before 7.00 am when I’d finished taking my meds I boiled the kettle up and made Mike his coffee. I thought I’d try things a different way this time, wake him with a coffee so that when his alarm went off it would catch him before he’d fallen asleep again. Alas, the best laid plans……….. I took the drink through, spoke loudly enough so that my neighbour held out her hand expectantly and left.There had been a response of sorts. I’d no sooner cleared the room when his alarm went off. It rang about three times then I heard him turn it off. Success. Like heck. He went straight back to sleep.I went from the kitchen to my room with a drink and as I passed by his door called out ” Your drink’s going cold Bro”. Total effect, zilch, nada, nothing. I went back to mail. The alarm went off again and again it was allowed to ring three times before it was turned off, and not against the wall either. Again no movement. I knew it was going to be a late start. A few minutes later a voice piped up ” Why didn’t you say there was a drink there”? I replied “Sorry” and gave up. Another few minutes and the voice appears again ” You dressed yet”? “Just about” I responded having been dressed since before 5.00 am.

We were out of the house at 7.55 am. Miraculous. Better still, his eyes were open so there was a fair chance we’d complete the journey accident free. We’d decided to do the shopping then head for Chester to see Yvonne and Reuben as Mike hasn’t seen them for a while. I let Yvonne know in case she wanted to make use of us for shopping while she had us. She was delighted and we arranged to meet about 10.00 am. We were doing quite well on my shopping when the call of nature came for him thunderously sudden as usual so he departed and left me to carry on. Moments later I got a text from Yvonne asking me to get some Imodium Instants or she wouldn’t be coming out with us. It sounds like Reuben’s tummy troubles had caught up with her. We went through the check out and went for a drink. Coffee for Mike, orange disinfectant for me I think. It wasn’t long before we were on our way.

We were on time and Yvonne met us by the front gate .I handed over the tablets and she went to take one straight away. Mike and I took a seat in the lounge. We could hear Reuben upstairs chunnering away to himself. Yvonne came through and squinted at the light asking if we thought it bright. It was, but not worryingly so….I thought. She brought Reuben down and went off to put some slap on before going out. Mike and I entertained Reuben. When she came back looking remarkable pale for someone wearing make up we put Reuben in his trolley and set off. It was evident she was starting with a migraine. She had to run on ahead of us to get some migrilieve from the chemist and we joined her there.She was actually taking tablets at the counter.

We managed to get to the first shop on our  list when Mike’s call of nature stuck it’s head (sorry) in again. Off he had to dash again but almost completely back to the city centre. Yvonne went with to show him the way and so that she could watch for me coming behind them. I had the purchases wrapped I’d bought for my nieces birthday and followed on. I found them at a cafe so we sat and had a drink. Yvonne was by now feeling rough and had to leave and go home to lie down leaving her poor son in our charge. We still had a few shops to go in looking for phones and TV’s and some cheese for his mum but he was an angel. He just watched the world go by from his trolley until we were nearly home again and he nodded off. I wonder whose genes he has.

Making sure Yvonne was OK again and could manage with Reuben Mike and I took our leave to carry on his hunt. We first went and had a baked potato lunch each with drinks and a piece of lemon meringue pie to follow. Afterwards we were actually able to find the phones he wanted but not the TV. We eventually headed for home stopping on the way to pick up a BFG which he promised to help me eat this week so it didn’t go to waste in the bin ( as I call my stomach now). It was almost 5.00 pm before we finally got home leaving me super stressed about the number of emails that would have arrived in almost ten hours. After unpacking the bags and putting the food away ,I found out 137. It was quite a while before I got to see any TV. When I finally came through at 9.00 pm to catch up I decided to make sure this blog was ready to go out before finishing the mail tonight.

New Shirt

 

 

Just a few toys out Ma.

Art of Concentration

Playing with the new app.
pho.to lab

 

 

 

Wishing you all a Wonderful New Week with unlimited Hugs xxxx

The Cough, The Gas Man Cometh and the Runaway Cigarette.

Sunday. I managed to get up at 6.00 am and start right in on the mail but there were just so many this morning. I listened out for rain in case we were car booting again but heard nothing so I thought I’d just keep going as much as I could in case. We all know what it’s like, some messages you have to answer, some you need to comment on and others you think why’d they bother to send them. There were lots to answer to start me off as there were many comments on last night’s blog. Some of them didn’t even swear at me. In truth everyone was showing their usual amazing patience but surprisingly no-one mentioned the children’s choir I found so amazing. Says a lot for my taste doesn’t it.

Damn, Mike’s alarm went off at 7.00 am so it means it was either another mistake on his part or he was intending to car boot. Discretion being the better part of valour I went through to the kitchen to see to the fish, drugs and my coffee and while there I prepared Mike’s mug and stuck the kettle on. If he got up I could pretend to be ready for him, if not the mug would be ready. Great, no movement so I returned to my room and started again. I’d done about two answers when I heard him move but just as far as the loo. Back to the kitchen I reboiled the kettle and made his drink. I put it on the side table next to his chair and prepared to go back to writing for a while. As I passed the bedroom door I noticed he’d gone back to bed. I was ready to stamp my foot in frustration when a little voice said “I’m awake but I’m cold”. I would have suggested he put a dressing gown on but brought his coffee through instead. Back to my room and I sat down to continue when there was a padding of footsies. ” I’m in the lounge you know” he called. Sigh, back up I took my drink with me and entered the lounge. Mr ‘Cold I am’ is sitting in his trollies ( underpants) and tee shirt in a room with the window open. I finished my drink and suggested he let me know what he wanted to do and when he was ready to do it. As for me I went to get washed and dressed and get as much mail done before the movement orders came.

About 8.00 am Mike came through to my room wearing a coat complaining at me keeping him waiting. I had a choice, carry on writing and bite my tongue in half, carry on writing and finish the missive I was on or wrap my hands round his throat and later plead insanity. In the end I just put my jacket on, slipped a carrier bag in my pocket, crutches on my arms and headed for the door. We decided to head for the Countess of Chester Hospital in Chester because their carboots are usually quite big. We did have to allow for the fact that it had rained a bit during the night and despite the forecast was spitting now. When we arrived it was quite a poor showing. Also, Mike started to feel unwell as he suffers quite a few problems with his stomach, quite often the rest of us suffer quite a few problems with his stomach too, but at least we were outdoors. Poor sould had to shuffle past the stall so fast he didn’t see much. I bought two candles and that was it. We packed up to find him a loo. Luckily I kknow a Frankie and Benny’s opens at 9.00 am for breakfast on a Sunday and it wasn’t too far away. We arrived there and he did a little dance to the loo and left me to order. I knew he’d want his normal Americano with cold milk on the side and I ordered a big breakfast for him. ‘Cos I’m so good I had my latte and a small bacon, egg and beans Oh, with toast for us both of course. After that we headed for home.

At 12.45 am I’d virtually caught up with mail and we were ready to go for lunch though we couldn’t manage a full Sunday roast dinner. That meant we could go to the Ivy and have a snack instead. The Gannet’s snack was a lamb hock with saute potatoes and mine was something else ‘ahem’. I remembered to take tablets which I’d forgotten at breakfast. Everyone came over to talk to us which was great and Tariq managed quite a conversation, mainly along the lines of “Why do my other customers all disappear when you two walk in?” We were actually there quite a long time and as we left Tariq came out with us and forcibly stuffed my money back in my pocket as today’s meal was a treat from him. What am I going to do when he has to close down bankrupt?

We had a ride into Prestatyn to buy a BFG for supper then took a back road hoping to come out near the Castle for sale. No joy. We did end up going to Jackson’s nursery for a drink to make up for missing one two weeks ago. Then as I couldn’t find any inspiration for this month’s birthday presents we went home. I was almost 3 hours back on the computer as Mike was looking at ebay on the laptop in the lounge. At 7.00 pm I forced myself to take a break and half the 16 portion BFG disappeared for tea, and I had a piece too. We watched Endevour together and for me it just keeps getting better and better. At 10.00 pm I helped Mike settle an ebay problem and then came back through where I still am. But now at 12.30 am I think it’s time to close. Hope you all enjoyed a great weekend and have a great new week to follow. Cwtch.

Monday. I was up at 4.50 this morning and working on the mail. Cough, cough, wheeze, wheeze it was really annoying. By 6.30 I was shattered and lay down for a minute that became an hour. When I woke the second time it was 7.30 and I could hear Mike in the kitchen. Amazing, I didn’t think he knew where it was. ( By the time he reads this he’ll be in Canada and I’ll be safe from retribution). As I went through to say good morning I realised I hadn’t even heard his alarm go off which is unusual. I did my usual routine and took my coffee through to sit with him- I was sitting, not the coffee. He was already fairly well prepared to journey off to his Dad’s to meet with a social worker then travel home to his son’s to pick up his grandchildren from school. He only has a couple of days as he flies out on Wednesday for his month in Canada. Maybe I should be suspicious because I have another friend who flies out exactly a week later for 3 weeks. I know he likes her. Hopefully his sister will keep him in check. I must admit it was quite sad to wave him off this morning and know I’ll be missing out on laughs for a while but at least I know he’ll have a great time.

After I’d bolted the door so he couldn’t get back in I lay down for a while. The chest is a problem I have to live with but it does get wearing after a while. It wasn’t long before I got up again as I remembered the gas man cometh today between 10 – 2 o0 pm. I’m afraid I couldn’t be bothered getting dressed so I cleared as much as possible out of his way then plonked myself back in front of the computer. There was a knock at the door at 10.20 am and it was him. I sort of pointed him in the right direction- the loo- then towards the meter. He agreed it wasn’t an easy place for me-or anyone but said rather than raise the meter as I’d hoped, what he suggested was smart meters which actually send readings in every half hour so they never need to read the meter again. If that was what he suggested who was I to argue so he phoned the instructions in from his van and then came back to say I should get a phone call in a few weeks. I pointed out it should be on file that I don’t do phones so he said they’d write.I won’t take long and will probably be him as he’s local. He left and I was so pleased I’d just about coped that I emailed Yvonne straight away to tell her. It was a case of “Well done Daddy, but what about the handle for turning the gas off if you ever need to? That’s partly the reason for doing this.” I felt quite deflated as I hadn’t given that a thought. I’ll just have to wait until he comes back again and hope it’s a Tuesday when Yvonne is here.

The next thing was to check my gas balance on line. After the most recent fiasco’s it had gone from £200 in arrears to £300 in credit. Today’s reading left it just £97 in credit which was a blow. Have I used £200 of gas in the last 2-3 weeks and damn, I won’t be able to get a rebate now. I’m in credit of over £200 on the electric but they won’t rebate that without a new reading so If my chest is OK later this week I’ll go outside and get a new reading from that meter. I went back to work until lunchtime when I had a pie. The rest of them will have to be put in the bin now. I should have frozen some last Friday. There will be tears. After lunch I turned TV on but only saw a few minutes before I felt myself drop a cigarette and start to nod off. The cigarette had gone inside my pocket so I was dancing on the spot tying to gt it out. I did fall asleep afterwards. Later I went back to work till almost 6.00 pm then had tea and some more TV. I caught a Harrison Ford film I’d not seen before, Clear and Present Danger. When I say caught it, I mean in between noddy periods. I can’t believe how tired I am today. Back to work at 10.00 pm and I’m now up to date and have beaten the witching hour deadline. I’m off to bed. Night all !

Tuesday. Awake at 4.15 am but with just one thought in my head. No way Jose, I’m not ready. I went straight back to sleep until 7.30 am. I bypassed the computer and went straight into the kitchen to see to the fish. The snails are coming back again and I may have to buy an assassin snail. I love the idea of a kind of ninja snail on my payroll going round and taking out all those snails that have offended me. Had my meds, made a coffee and took it back to the bedroom. While I waited for the computer I took an antibiotic but judging by my breathing between the kitchen and here, they haven’t kicked in still. A few years ago it took 4 different lots and I still ended up in hospital so I can do without that happening again. Can you imagine the blog….Lay in bed all day, they took bloods, gave me oxygen and wouldn’t let me smoke.                   The mail was fairly heavy but that was OK as I wasn’t going anywhere. I have the chest and Yvonne has a cold, better the twain not meet. I worked all morning and was disappointed when the real postman didn’t pay a visit. I dearly want to see the book I ordered for Reuben about toys becoming real through being loved. I broke off at lunchtime for a small pizza and then fell asleep in the chair afterwards. A message from Yvonne woke me to say they were still coming for Tuesday night tea and she’s feeling much better. At that point I didn’t know Ugo had  taken the day off to be with Reuben while Yvonne slept it off during the morning. 

I worked some more once awake so as not to fall too far behind today. By 4.30 I’d had enough and went back through to the lounge. I was on the point of nodding off yet again when I caught a glimpse out of the window of someone moving across my field of view. They’d arrived early. I got to hold Reuben straight away and he was full of smiles for me. It was probably because he was planning his next moves that I wasn’t aware of. It didn’t take long to find out when he suddenly burst into life in my arms and grabbed the beard to hang on. My eyes leaked.Then he spotted the chain about my neck an he spent ages trying to get at it and remove it forcefully. He tried getting my glasses, chewing my finger off to get at my ring but all the time he was fixated on the chain. Ugo went out to collect tea from the hippy and when he returned I was exhausted and happy to hand Reuben over to his mum. I buttered and cut up some bread for her to give him. I enjoyed my sausage and chips and Ugo enjoyed his kebab after which I gave him the last of the BFG and knowing Reuben stood no chance of getting any, I brought him a chocolate biscuit to nibble on.                                                         All too soon it was 7.00 pm and they had to leave. Since I hadn’t been dressed all day I had to wave them off at the door. Reuben wondered why Pops wasn’t carrying him to the car but I’d have had no wind at all if I had done.

I did a little more work and watched TV from 8-9.00 pm. Work till 10.00 pm then a new episode the the Mentalist. Very good, but I’m not sure how I like the changes since they no longer have Red John to chase. Then back here to finish post and do the blog. I’ve timed it well enough to be able to read a little. I need to rest as I have to get dressed and visit the corner shop in the morning.  Sleep Well.

Wednesday. 4.15 am today and not a struggle. I nipped, nay skipped to the loo and then came back to see the damage. I was pretty amazed that there were 23 emails just from last night despite the time I’d finished and a further 61 between midnight and 4.15 am. Do none of you sleep?  I know here’s a time difference in some places but it should only be silver surfers like me on the computer between midnight and midday. Anyhoo I got stuck in. Two of the con artists from Nigeria were back on with their millions. Maybe they don’t know about my vow of poverty. ( I vow I’m sick of being poor). By 7.30 am I was pretty clear but decided not to refresh until I’d seen to the fish. I took my antibiotic and went to the kitchen.

When I refreshed there were quite a few posts from ‘Kitty’ who invariably has something interesting to say or to show. There have been some wonderful wildlife video’s to see but also some very disturbing posts about things happening in various parts of the world.  http://dearkitty1.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/hummingbirds-flowers-and-iguana-in-costa-rica/  When it comes to things like one of our leading political parties having Neo Nazis as members and holocaust deniers then I’m very disturbed. When I see posts about a leading U.S. Bank suggesting Europe needs a dictatorial government to deny benefits to it’s peoples I’m even more disturbed especially when France already has a far right leader who is imposing austerity measures. I sat back and asked myself  why a bank should suggest imposing austerity measures when it can’t know what they mean. I doubt very much if any bank is intending to lead by example. It is worrying though that after all the conspiracy theories we read about banks wanting to take over an run the world, why they should want right wing governments in place to do so. Then a chap I admire greatly, the famous Pinkagendist had a post where the wife of a Minister, identity disguised, is blogging about gay people coming back to church to repent as though being gay is a sin, and being anti gay marriage , promoting opposition to same. What happened to live and let live, to tolerance, to the path in life suggested by Jesus who these Christians are supposed to follow? There will be questions and answers from both sides of the argument to come on Pinkagendists blog as each states their point of view.   http://pinkagendist.wordpress.com/   At this point I’m introducing a song for you all.

I got dressed at about 9.00  am and took a slow walk to Pauline’s. OK, I know I’m stupid but I needed cigarettes. I have cut down while my chest has been bad and tried to use one of the fake fags in between but I still enjoy the real thing. I worked most of the morning and finally cleared the box at just gone 11.30 am.My postman came and delivered a parcel for Mike. He looked at he name and said “That’s not you is it?” I had to explain I was taking parcels while Mike is away. He’d warned me one was coming and I knew what it is but when I picked this box up it’s as light as a feather. I wonder if the man who sent it forgot to put anything in?  Time to see what was on TV. Hellfire, just what I need this week, a choker. How do I eat lunch with a lump in my throat? As it happens I did manage but I didn’t really enjoy it so that should count for something. As usual I nipped in and out during the afternoon to try and keep current . For no reason other than it was one of Ju’s favorite records before she died and we played it at the funeral I’m posting a second song for you.

I’d just finished my last update at 5.30 when I was surprised by the arrival  of Lee James. I thought he was in Japan. Turns out he goes on Friday. Blow me, not five minutes later his wife Jen appears from work and is joining us foe games night for a change. I’m so pleased. It was almost 6.00 pm before Dil and Matt arrived so by the time I’d sorted drinks we had a slightly later start.One of the nice things about having Jen with us was that I could suggest not playing scrabble. After last weeks horror losses I didn’t want to chance it. So, I got away with suggesting Balderdash first. Ha, they agreed and somehow I extracted my revenge with a whitewash. I suggested a second game and maybe LJ saw the glint in my eyes as he suggested changing to Absolute Balderdash. That lad has a cruel streak. But, being the (grit my teeth) good loser that I am I ak-wee-essed. What happened? Well, it was an even bigger whitewash, I romped to victory miles ahead of my nearest rival. WOO HOO !! L.J.and Jen chose that point to leave. I’m sure I hear muttering about the biggest bloody liar in the world but maybe my hearing is a bit off. I made another drink for Dil and Matt and grudgingly brought the biscuits out, I only left two in the packet just in case, but being noble I didn’t eat one. Matt drew up the score sheet for Nomination whist and Dil dealt the cards. The first couple of hands were a bit iffy but I did get into my stride. Bingo, I won that too. A clean sweep. We packed up and they left without hitting me once, mainly because I was barricaded in the kitchen, lethal that Matt can be. After they’d gone I did the pots, tidied up and came through to finish the mail and do the blog. It’s now almost 12.30 am and I’m listening to the end of a record I’ve not heard before by someone I’ve not heard of before. My last job of the night is to share it with you. If like me you’ll love someone for a thousand years, you’ll enjoy it too.

Thursday. Back to early starts again. It was just 4.35 am when the bladder alarm  struck and had me scuttling along to the loo for a stop start session that was worse than the works bus route in  morning. By the time I got back to the bedroom I was wide awake and so were all the birds who’d gone to sleep on the guttering outside the bathroom window. It’s not really my fault, when you pee standing up and in the dark you have to pee in the middle so you know you’re hitting water. Ignoring the birdie complaints, I wrote myself a note that if I go out later I must wear a rain mac, and then turned the computer on. One of the first items I found really delighted me, I’m due a £385.65 tax rebate…. or as the idiot who tried to take me in described it.. Tax Refound Notofication!  It would be nice if the crooks at least learned to spell the words they’re using to convince others. I also had quite a few messages about instant insurance quotations in seconds which I thought I’d take a look at. I dutifully filled in the online form with the info required like Age-Ancient, Smoker, Yes Please, Sex, more than Yes Please…..you get the picture. I get all the way to the bottom of the form and it says now provide your telephone number so one of our annoying sales reps  highly trained consultants who will scour the universe for the best quote, can speak to you. So, I put in a fake number and I hope they spent ages trying to get through.

I heard a little tapping sound and when I looked up I saw it was 8.10 am. I dashed ( stop laughing at the back) to the kitchen where one of the bull nose plecs was using a snail to tap a morse code message on the glass of the tank. It was only ten minutes for heavens sake. Yes, I know it was lunchtime yesterday but my brain is porous these days. Things slip out. I smiled and fed them. They turned their backs n me and swam away. I took my sprays and went to get my pharmacy from the lounge.Man, that drawer is heavy. Maybe it’s all the medicinal Mars Bars I hide from Mike- for his own good of course. I took my morning tabs and then refilled the container with a full week’s supply. I replaced the drawer and then made myself a coffee to take back to the bedroom. Before starting work again I got dressed as judging by my lottery results I need tickets for Friday and the weekend. Maybe I’ll have to double the bribe to £2 ? I worked on clearing the first batch of post until almost 9.30 am then took a four legged stroll to Pauline’s where I also bought some baps. The sun was really shining so I must have looked odd in my rain mac but you just don’t understand how vindictive a tired bird can be. I could return looking like I have white spot. I managed the journey unscathed however so I’m just hoping the sunshine put everyone if a good mood.

I refreshed my page and though there were only 41 I knew they’d take a while. I put my head down and forged ahead and cleared one because at that moment the postman came and delivered another watch I’d been waiting for and my book The Velveteen Rabbit, more accurately it’s Reuben’s book but I get first read. I’ve been hearing about it for a while as a modern classic and it certainly seems to be full of promise. I put it away ready to give it to him on Sunday. I wonder how long it will take to be devoured as he now has 3 teeth. I continued with my mail. It strikes me that though I’m often inundated with mail, I get to read some fantastic blogs of people I follow, some of whom have become tremendous friends over the time I’ve been blogging. I’m so grateful that some are dedicated to the most worthy projects possible, or some that just fill you full of hope. Others just manage to bring a constant smile to my face. At 11.30 am I knocked off to go and make lunch which as usual I sat with in front of the TV or is that sat in front of the TV with? I stayed there until 2.00 pm before starting the usual afternoon dodging back and forth. I wasn’t too bothered about anything early evening but I wanted to be free for 8.00 pm. I was free, and my Big Bang Theory lived up to it’s usual humorous promise. There were two other comedies with new episodes following that which I thought I’d try. How I met your Mother which I can take or leave and the new ( to me) Brooklyn Nine Nine which has a lot of mileage in it. It made me laugh out loud and not much does that. It’s usually quiet appreciation. Anyhoo, after that I came back through and brought the post up to date before coming to bore you to tears. To make up for it I have another blast from the past for you.

Friday. 6.15 today and I’m happy with that though it was 1.00 pm before I turned the light off last night. I had to check under the bed for the bogey man first. I’d been hoping for a boogie man but I’m told no-one does boogie now. While ploughing through my mail I was reading a post that shocked me. It said that in 1978 a record was banned in North America because they didn’t like the idea of 4 men in dresses. I had to sit and think for a while about who’d be threatened by that, it was done in such a humorous way. I don’t know whether the ban extended to the record as well as the video or whether the record company actually made an alternate video for the American market. Anyway, you all know what this is leading up to so without further ado I give you……………. QUEEN. 

The morning was as usual, the fish getting fed on time and me getting my coffee. I nipped to Pauline’s for some cash and bought some ciggies. Since the Government increased the tax on cigarettes yet again I now have to ask for 95 instead of 100 with my brand trying to keep the prices down. The Government complain that smokers use the health service with self inflicted illnesses. I accept that, but everyone else who complains should remember their treatment is subsidised by smokers through the taxes we pay. As I got back from the shop (sans Kitkat today) another parcel arrived for Mike but at least it wasn’t my postman today wondering if I use an alias. This parcel is of the right weight for what I was expecting so I’ll assume he ordered something very light earlier in the week….and it suddenly dawns on me that he’s ordered a homburg. Wednesday’s parcel is explained.

I had a pizza at lunchtime and followed it up with an afternoon kip.That lasted for a good hour before I returned to answering messages. I bobbed in and out to keep things as up to date as possible so I could have an evening break. I managed from 6.00 pm to 8.30 pm and only came back in here after Mastermind. Surprisingly I was able to answer at least a couple of everybody’s specialist subjects and some of the general knowledge. Back here it’s been a time of commenting on quite a few blogs and doing a number of tweets. People are brilliant at returning the favour. I left it until late to start the blog and I want to be in bed before midnight. As Mike always says, If I’m not in bed by midnight, I should go home. I hope all my friends in the Antipodes have had a great start to their weekends and I hope all my friends from elsewhere in the world get a great start when it arrives for them.  Hugs !

Saturday. There I was this morning at 5.40 am with plenty of time to work and not an alarm clock anywhere to disturb me. By 7.00 am I was feeling tense listening for the sound. I even got up and went through o the kitchen and put the kettle on- I don’t use the kettle for my drink. This fish must have been over the moon as I fed them and I don’t do that on a Saturday. Oh heck, things have gone to pot and he’s not even here. I took my tabs, made my drink and went back to my bedroom blowing a quick raspberry in the direction of Mike’s room as I passed it. For a Saturday morning there wasn’t too much post but I still worked steadily till 8.30 am. Still not quite getting my head round not going shopping and not trading insults with my bro I went to take a shower. See, he’s even skived off washing my hair and I had to revert to  bending in the middle and doing it with my arms now below my head. That only resulted in me having to sit down in a hurry as I overbalanced. Take my word for this, sitting on a shampoo bottle is not comfortable and doesn’t result in your nether regions getting covered in foam.  It does however result in some high pitched noises you hope the neighbours don”t want to investigate.

I got dressed. You must have heard the saying ‘All dressed up and nowhere to go’ I felt a fool so I changed into jeans for comfort. I brought my post up to date and decided to go out to Pauline’s. Instead I diverted to the One-Stop over the road and got some cash. Their machine was working for once. I chose there because they are affiliated with a bigger supermarket and often carry specials. I needed Easter eggs for my nieces for tomorrow and wanted to see their choice. They did me proud and while there I decided to get them for Yvonne, Ugo and Reuben. Then it was back over the road to Pauline’s where I tried to hide the contents of my bag so she wouldn’t know I’d shopped elsewhere. The choice of eggs there is awful. I bought my cigarettes for the weekend, one other item and left. Before going home I nipped to the ‘Savoy’ which is a little sandwih shop that also do some meals. I bought a nice ham salad sandwich ( heavy on the onions) for my lunch and a sausage roll for my tea.  Back at home I refreshed my screen and found a few messages had come while I was out. I also checked ebay and found I’d forgotten to bid on some books I wanted and the pesky auction had finished. Typically it was a low price too. I was up to date with mail again by 11.00 am and took a break. I stepped out to see if the bin men had been and met my postman arriving with a free pen I won. The bin men had been except the food bin man had collected everybody else’s but mine. I’ll be looking at a plague of flies outside the front door next week.Heaven knows what the inside of the bin will look like when I come to put the next bag in.

I sat with a book listening to a bit of music until lunchtime. Then it was time to enjoy my sandwich with a portion of BFG I’d got from Pauline’s. Well, I couldn’t go to my Ivy Emporium or Kassidy’s and I missed my morning coffee at Temptations, I deserved a treat. The only trouble is I’m missing my friends at the Ivy and am talking to the walls and this is only week 1. I had a nap in the afternoon as soon as I chose a film to watch. There was no snoring in the chair beside me and I know I was bored. Roll on tomorrow when the girls come. I nipped back and forth to keep an eye on the mail but it’s been quite manageable this week.  Mind you, I’ve had more opportunity to get at it. By 9.45 I knew I wasn’t taking anything on TV in so decided to call it a night. I’ve had chance to get up to date before coming to the blog to regale you with today’s non-happenings.  I hope Mike’s having a great time in Canada but I’ll be glad when the month is up.

The last song for this week is by one of my favourite artistes of all time. Mr James Taylor. I want to dedicate it to all my friends out there because it’s called Shower the People you Love with Love. Enjoy…….

Well padded camouflage.

Peace at last

I’m almost on my way.

My white afro.