Sunday. This morning found me up early looking for suitable excuses to cancel the day or corners to hide in. I went about my email duties as usual but flinching at shadows lurking in the corners of my peripheral vision telling me in sibilant breath that the worst was about to happen, and they didn’t mean that Mike was about to get up. Having said that, it was still daylight ( just) when he did. I made him coffee and st in the lounge waiting for an opportune moment to tell him I didn’t feel too well but every time I opened my mouth he just said ” Forget it. I was told to deliver you at 12.30 and that’s what I’m doing since I value my skin.” In a major sulk I went back to the computer to keep as up to date as possible while looking for the recipe to an invisibility potion. At just gone 12.00 Mike asked If I was ready but before I could answer I heard ” Don’t even bother, you’re going, get your coat on.” I got my coat on. Mike was carrying a small bag and asked me to remind him to give Anton ( his son-my nephew) the bag as he keeps forgetting. I suggested he put it in the boot of the car at hand for when he reaches Anton’s house later tonight. “I won’t be there tonight” he said ” I’m staying here tonight to make sure you go to your blood test in the morning.” Trusting soul ain’t he? It was just 12.30 as we drew up in the car park of the Bells. As I clambered out of the car I saw Mike go to the boot and retrieve the bag he’d put there, walk across the car park and hand it to someone. My name was puzzled until I realised it was Anton standing there with his two children Sophie and Josh. I was stunned and a smirking Mike turned round and asked “Surprised??”I was. Anton and I hugged and as we all walked towards the pub Yvonne came out to meet us. At least that wasn’t a shock so I managed to stay upright. We all walked in together and my heart was now in my mouth but no sign of anything untoward. A little further in there was a line of tables together where waiting were, Ugo and Reuben, My two nieces Karen and Jo, My brother Dil, His wife Lynne and son Matthew, my nephew Lee and his lovely wife Jen. All faces I know, all faces I love but sitting at a table laden with parcels and birthday balloons I momentarily froze. The Bells is a very crowded place and today was no exception but I managed to make my seat ( hammer and nails provided) and collapse. I said hello to as many as I could reach and under instruction opened my gifts. A fantastic cardigan, some nice smellies and from Yvonne/Ugo a beautiful wooden box like a writing slope that weighed a ton. Opening it I understood why since it was packed choc a bloc with chocolate bars. Poor Karen almost lost the use of her fingers as I slammed the lid shut remembering my diet. The meal was great except for me forgetting my tablets and there was chatter aplenty but I was claustraphobic in there so was glad afterwards when it was decided to have coffee at my Ivy Emporium in comfort and space. Lee and Jen set off but Dil and family and Anton and family weren’t able to join us. We hugged goodbye with Dil reminding me I’d see him on Wednesday. Mike and I went next leaving Yvonne/Ugo to follow and also Karen and Jo. We arrived all of 500 yards away and stood outside with Lee and Jen till we finished our ciggies ( not them, they don’t smoke) and then went inside. No sign of the others in the party. The owner approached and said Mike and I should leave as we’re barred which naturally in Mike’s case I can understand. We sat and ordered but still no sign of the others until eventually Yvonne and Reuben came in and said poor Jo had changed her shoes from the boot of her car and then promptly shut her keys in the boot. An AA job ( for my US friends AA is not Alcoholics Anonymous but Automobile Association. Not that she doesn’t need Alcoholics Anonymous- just not today). The party was depleted a bit more as they waited by the car for help. Meanwhile back at the Ivy I had Reuben on my knee as the staff approached and sang Happy Birthday to me and presented me with a muffin. I’m not sure whether Reuben objected to losing his status as centre of attention or the singing but he burst into tears which wasn’t helped by us laughing. Eventually things settled and we all enjoyed drinks from the variety on offer, white hot chocolate, milkshakes and my latte. At closing time we left so the staff could get home and Mike drove home with me holding a balloon. Once there he left to visit his dad while Yvonne, Ugo and baby kept me company for a while. Once gone I flew to the computer to catch up. When I was up to date I went to have some tea so I could take the tabs I’d missed at lunchtime and watch a bit of TV. I gave up on a Cuba Gooding Jr film I couldn’t get into and returned to the computer where Mike found me at 11.00 when he returned. I’d hoped he’d forget and go straight home but his memory works best when you don’t want it to. He told me of the visit with his Dad which is sometimes stressful as problems occur which he can’t deal with on a Sunday. It was a late night.
Monday. I’d got up and was having a liesurely stroll through my emails when I heard the sound. The swift shuffling of feet like a legion of the damned hurrying over hot coals. I would have died of fright had I not realised it was Mike out for his 5.30 pee. He’d come back to ensure I went for my blood tests but I had probably three and a half hours to think of an excuse before he got up to stay up. At 8.30 I saw to the fish, took tabs, made myself a coffee and then got dressed. I drank the coffee slowly util Mike’s alarm went of at 9.00 and I had to go prepare his drink. I took it through to where he’d nodded off again as usual and placed it on the bedside cabinet will a very gentle whisper of “Drink’s up Bro”. Unfortunately he heard me and sat up. I opened my mouth to say good morning but was beaten to the punch with ” Forget the excuses, you’re going and that’s that!” I left him to it. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Ouch. An Armful.
At 10.05 we left for the hospital and I suggested he drop me and started his journey home. His answer was just a vicious snigger. He dropped me by the door and went looking for a parking space. I went inside and waited to be called. They were running ten minutes late but as I got up to leave I was called and had to have half my right arm emptied It took about a minute and I was off and running again. When I got outside Mike appeared behind me as he’d been having a drink at the league of fiends stall. He asked to look at my war would as proof I’;d had it done. It’s wonderful to be trusted. Expecting to be taken home I was surprised when Mike sid he needed the garage so he’d drop me by the shops in Flint and pick me up when he’d done. You don’t need to ask twice. I got a few items and he arrived back to say they couldn’t see him just then but he’s to go back in an hour. We decided against a drink in Temptations and instea went to be tempted with lunch at Kassidy’s. We both had the all day breakfast. After wards Mike dropped me at home while he went to the garage and then headed off home. I sent him with my thanks. Lots of messages awaited me and they took a couple of hours but I found myself falling asleep. So, taking a break I went through to watch TV and promptly fell asleep. I woke in time for an easy tea and then spent a couple of house trying t stay awake before giving up at 8.30. I’ve spent the rest of the night catching up on messages before heading to bed and the last 6 pages of Pratchett.
Tuesday. Up a little later than I’d like this morning at 5.30 and decided to catch the 8.40 bus to give me time with my computer and the messages from last night and this morning. I’d almost finished after the usual morning duties but left about 10 when I had to catch the bus. I was walking behind someone with a dog ho was taking up much of the pavement until they turned of into the park. As I was approaching the bus stop a single decker drew up and people boarded. I expected to miss it but he waited. I checked the front said Chester and got on thanking the driver profusely. I grabbed a seat and off we set. It’s unusual to have a single decker at this time but I thought nothing of it until I heard two girls behind me talking. “I love to catch this one” said one,” it’s cheaper and usually quicker.” That rang a bell but everything seemed OK until we reached Queensferry where instead of carrying on as usual, the bus diver took a left and I found myself on a tour of Garden City and taking the road to Chester via The Greyhound retail park. I texted Yvonne that I was on the wrong bus but would still be there on time. As I passed the Greyhound I had a reply that said she was passing a certain shop, where did I want to meet. I suggested the new Costa we’d been to last week. As my answer was being typed the driver had turned a corner and I was lost. A few more turns and nothing was familiar. Then a glimpse of recognition. I saw an Iceland store I knew. At the bottom of the road was Yvonne waiting to cross after my bus had passed her. It reached a stop and I rushed to get off and rang Yvonne to tell her to wait exactly where she was. The flaming thing went to voice mail. I galloped. Instead of going forwards, my crutches caught on the pavement and I almost went arse over elbow. I’d just about caught myself when my phone rang. I had to stop so I came to a dead halt beside a Big Issue seller who obviously thought I was about to buy a copy. I answered and Yvonne asked where I was ” Behind you” I said, ” stop wherever you are.” ” I’m in the Costa” she said. When I got there she’d ordered my drink and some toast. I got my breath back while Reuben slept the sleep of the just. From there we went to a shop to see if they had another pair of jeans that I liked and ended up buying nothing Mike, but it was in the colour Yvonne liked for me and it was cheap in the sale. We wandered a while then stopped for another drink so Reuben could have a bottle and some food. I ha him bouncing on my knee having th giggles and he was in great humour till Yvonne tried to give him milk. No Way Jose. He did have some food though, broccoli and cauliflower cheese which sounds revolting.Another wander where I managed to get him some great clothes and Ugo a pair of shoes. Then we headed home to Yvonne’s for a cuppa. I played with the cats for a few minutes and then had lots of fun tickling Reuben just above his knee which kept him giggling. Eventually Ugo came home and after he changed we set off for my place. We stopped for bread and milk near home and Yvonne bought their baby food section out. Halfway towards home we stopped to pick up tea and took it home hot. I did the bread and butter, Yvonne plated up and Ugo kept Reuben occupied. When we finished I washed the pots and asked Ugo for help unwrapping a parcel that had come. It gave me great pleasure to see his face when he unwrapped an electric violin he’s wanted for ages that I’d been able to get on Ebay.”Why?” he asked “it’s not my birthday.” When they eventually left ( I’d hidden the chocolates) I came through to check for messages. 193 were waiting. I can still hear the echo of the screams. It’s now 12.15 and I’ve had enough. What a punishment for having a day of pleasure.
Wednesday. Standard morning. Up, messages, fish, drink, wash and dress. Then I needed to go out for cigarettes and my next TV mag, talking of which it’s time to watch some TV so I must practice turning on the new box using the all-in-one remote control. It was a case of just keep pressing buttons till the right combination brings a picture up. I managed it but for some reason I had to use the old remote for volume. I watched an antiques programme at lunchtime while the microwave worked on my baked potato. I had a slice of boiled ham, some coleslaw and a small tin of beans with it. It was very nice. Being afraid of what might happen if I tried to turn the TV off I left it on as I came back to the computer to catch up on messages and blog comments. When I went back through later I times it nicely for a short film with Kevin Sorbo as a rancher in battle with another when his unknown bounty hunter son comes along to help. After this I had my tea, a cheese and onion bap with some pineapple pieces to follow. A quiz show came on as I washed the pots and I was enjoying the questions when movement to my left made me glance out of the window. Dil and Matt were on their way. I got their drinks started. They came in shouting their usual Hallooos and said they’d seen me jump up. Drinks done I set up the table and brought out the scrabble. It was a hard fought game in which I was disappointed to find the scrabble dictionary doesn’t have doxy as a word. Bang goes my triple word score but I still managed a win. Lee arrived towards the end of that first game and was talking about a conspiracy theorist he works with. Today’s subject had been the moon landings, real or not?I was saying a fellow author and friend had sent me various things last week from Youtube which included a quite feasible account of Hitler’s escape to and life in, Argentina after the war. The photographs were quite convincing. In the second scrabble game I was demoted to third place and I went to the kitchen to make another brew and sulk. It was also the ideal opportunity to smoke. Loo break over I passed Matt and envelope of 20 dice I’d sent for because I feel guilty that he’s been learning my games but I haven’t learned his. So, it was time for two games of Liar’s Dice which I hadn’t heard of before. Given that I lost both games I don’t care if I don’t hear about it again either. It was a very noisy game too with 20 dice being slammed on the table at the same time. For the last half hour or so we had a game of Crazy 8’s during which at one point they made me pick up 11 cards as someone went out. Needless to say I didn’t win that either so I threw their coats at them , turned out the lights and shouted goodnight. When they’d one I found my A Person of Interest was on though it was half over. If I could work this damned remote I could go back and watch it from the beginning. It refused to co-operate so guess what I’ll be watching with Mike this weekend. I gave up in disgust and came through, It’s taken from 9.45 to midnight to clear the mail and write this so now I’m off for a read. Short stories from Pratchett should put a smile back on my mush.
Thursday. I was twirling Yvonne round in one of those aeroplane lifts, you know, where you hold one hand and one foot and spin. I was throwing her into the sea. The thing I didn’t understand was she was no longer the little girl I’d do that too but a full grown woman. Anyway, I don’t know what woke me, but perhaps the splash. It was 4.45 and I’m not sure I was really ready to get up but my bladder said I better had. I made it in time thankfully. Now awake I thought I’d check my bank account. Something was due to go in there this morning. I signed in as usual but the message came back I had to do it again. I’ve had so many fake ‘There are problems with your account’ that I’m becoming paranoid and I needed to check this wasn’t some app designed to copy my passwords so I had to sign out and start again. No problems this time and the money was there.I can afford beans again this week. Mujo haven’t been in touch so they won’t be coming today. I can stay scruffy and work on my messages. By 8.00 am I was yawning so I went through to get a caffeine fix and see to the fish. While there I took the last of my meds from the container and wasted a half hour filling it up again. Just as well I’d remembered to restock. Going back through with my coffee I decided to look at Amazon.co.uk nd see if there’s anything I fancy with the gift voucher my nephew Lee and his wife Jen gave me for my burpday. I was attracted to a double skinned cafetiere with a matching teapot but can’t make up my mind. It’s only because I’ve been bought ground coffee a couple of times recently and only have a one cup cafetiere. I also found myself looking at a tablet with books can be read on. Why? It’s not long since I gave Ju’s away. The thought of maybe being able to skype someone from the bus appealed but what would be the point of that since I don’t use voice and video? I might as well stick to texting on my phone. I also had a few minutes (30) on Ebay chasing up Twining’s Christmas Tea since the one MuJo want isn’t on their site and I can’t remember where I got it from. Back to the mail and I worked until 9.50 before getting washed and dressed and dodging raindrops to get my lottery tickets. Some weird intuition made me buy four scratchcards, nada, zip, nothing. Stupid intuition. The same for last night’s lottery too. Time I muttered a quick prayer to Saint Cayetano or Cajetan Catanoso, the patron Saint of Gamblers. ………… ……………………. ………………………. ……………………….. …………
At 11.00 am I gave up on the computer and went to relax with Jessica Fletcher before making my lunch. Yes, another baked potato and beans day. I took my after lunch tablets, allowed myself 4 Liquorice Allsorts and returned to work. It really doesn’t take long for the queue to mount up again. There were only 53 and I wasn’t in a rush as I had decided to be very decisive with some and send them to the rubbish bin straight away. Especially anything that mentions a bank.That took care of a third and another third went on those that just indicated further comments on those posts I’d seen and commented on already. I had no need to read other people’s comments today. Ruthless I am. I worked till 4.30 then went to watch my Antiques Road Hunt. I had a banana sandwich for tea, something I’ve not done for years. For pudding I had two dark chocolate ginger biscuits as the ginger has to be healthy and the biscuit is made of good things. We’ve already established that chocolate must be a fruit and a vegetable so I’m being healthy. Eventually I went back to the computer for a while but I needed to be free by no later than 8.30. I made it by 8.10 so got most of an Episode of Big Bang Theory before watching a full and new one. Then it was a forensic science drama I’ve started to get hooked on which took me to 10.00pm. I rattled of the last of my mail and was able to get this post done on the right side of midnight.
Friday ( at last). Rising at a very leisurely 5.55 am I decided no point in hurrying. No Mujo, No Mike till late and nothing expected. I still managed to finish my post just before 8.00am and the fish were delighted at an early sunrise. I have just six fish now a large harlequin guppy with a beautiful tail, an albino cory, 3 plecs of varying sizes and an angel fish that was expected to die about 12 months ago when we found him swimming in circles with what we thought was a swim bladder infection. He’s still here and still quite happily swimming in circles. Less pleasing is the colony of snails I can’t seem to get rid of no matter how many I pull out. From 7 tanks with everything from a large pangasius and some oscars it’s amazing to be down to just this. I admit I give little thought to the majority of fish we had but Zippy the pangasius, Olive my Oscar girlfriend and Stan a large and beautifully moustached catfish I often think about. I even remember putting videos on Fbook of them( in the days I still used Fbook)………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
That’s another change I suppose. At one time I was on Fbook a lot but after a few attacks I left for a couple of months and then was much more wary of people’s intolerance when I went back. These days I rarely have time to get there though I’m still in contact with some friends from then. Anyway, I stopped musing and brought my coffee back through where I refreshed my post and spent a while catching up. At 9.15 there was a knock on the door and I’m still in my dressing gown. From the orange I can see through the door it’s either the postman or a runaway prisoner from an American jail. I trust my instincts it’s the former and turn out to be correct- who knew? He had a parcel for me that I didn’t even know had been posted yet. A collectors Tea Caddy made for Twinings I bought to make up for the fact I’m too mean to buy one of the teabag boxes at over £30.00. What I paid for this I should have worn a mask and called myself Dick Turpin. Once the post man had gone I thought I may have pushed my luck as far as I could and got dressed. I texted Joanne to ask how Penny, Amy and Priya are. I actually had tears in my eyes as I thought about poor Bernie. Joanne came back to tell me that Penny’s not herself, Amy is just cheeky and Priya is as round as ever. It’s not that I don’t understand pets die but I usually show my feelings for them more openly than I can for humans which I suppose must make me seem cold. Lunchtime came round and yes, it was baked potato again but this time with 3 rashers of bacon and coleslaw. I really enjoyed it. I watched an old Sherlock Holmes before going back to work on some tweets. Not long after 1.30 my phone beeped and there was a message from Mike, ‘On Way’. I texted back ‘To Dad’s or here?’ to which he replied ‘To yours’. Messages flicked between us for 20 minutes until I realised I was just delaying his journey and could have asked everything on arrival. Duh! I managed to write two more poems bringing the score to 24 if two iffy ones are to be allowed. The final decision won’t rest with me. Mike arrived about 4.15 pm bringing some bread I’d asked for. No doubt he’ll blame me for his tardiness in getting here finally. I made coffee and we chatted till the Antique Road Trip came on and we both watched to see if one of them could end the week with a profit for charity. The answer surprisingly was no, whereas the other one much to our surprise had a healthy balance at the end. I left Mike to watch a quiz while I caught up on mail so I’d have no nasty surprises tonight then back through for the US version of Law and Order. At 7.00 I went for a shower while Mike got to grips with the TV and watching a programme he’d missed yesterday before it finished tonight. He seemed to have no problems with the Devil remote that defies me. I made some tea and I promise I had nothing but tinned fruit. We saw Big Bang Theory then caught up with the second half of last night’s Forensic drama. At 10.00 Mike asked me for the time which he’s done after every programme tonight, I finally snapped and asked him to turn his wrist far enough to look at his watch. I also told he he never listens to me as he continually asks me to repeat myself ten seconds after I finish speaking. If anyone could hear us they’d have thought us an old married couple. If we were I’d have killed him years ago….or he’d have killed me. Darby came through for my last blast on the computer and left Joan watching TV. I have chance to write this before daring to refresh the mail again. If I don’t manage to post tomorrow night please send cakes with files in to the nearest prison.
Saturday. I go through phases with waking up. For a very long time it’s been around the 4.00am mark but just recently I’ve had a couple of much later starts about 6.00am and thought a new temporary phase was starting. I don’t know what the heck happened today though as I was woken at 6.58 by the sound of Mike’s alarm. I wake up all the way down the passage way and he turns it off and goes straight back to sleep. I dragged myself to the kitchen and turned the fish tank light on. I don’t feed them on a Saturday though I couldn’t follow their sterling example of self-deprivation myself. I made us both a drink and took his through letting him know it was there. It’s true, the neanderthal communicates with grunts. At least I think he was communicating. I took my drink back to my room, ignored the computer- yes, you read that correctly- and went to wash and dress. I drank my coffee and went through to put the mug in soak and started to empty to swill bin. I heard Mike’s alarm go off a second time but amazingly he moved. I was just taking the rubbish out when I passed him coming through with his drink. Head down, no doubt searching the ground for something edible, or hi slippers, nothing was said. I took the main bins out to the front and then did the same with my recycling bags. They never seem to get very far, ha ha. No? Well suit yourselves, it is early you know. Back inside I wash my hands and head back to the lounge. This time I pass Mike going the other way to get dressed. He’s much more awake and alert with head up. This time I say nothing because if he’s awake he’s on form. It’s already well past 7.30 am as he comes through and starts my checklist, spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch or rather, keys, wallet, parking pass cash card? I have everything and get my coat on as he collects the shopping bags and we set off. We have the usual discussion about where to go before the end of the road and we’re still doing so a mile or so later but eventually we make up my mind. We arrive, get cash and start. Not too much today but looking for toenail clippers takes forever. They don’t have any. They have cuticle clippers which wouldn’t cut my eyebrows never mind a toenail. Shopping done we have a coffee, one of which is free as I have a full loyalty card. Then we head off on a fruitless mission to another big store for the clippers. Still no but I did manage to but a few things I didn’t know I wanted till I saw them. A lot of my shopping is like this. Time then for Flint where another fruitless search sends us scurrying to Temptations and our usual duel of wits with Ceri. “I’m going to call you Cinzano from now on ” he tells her. “Why?”she asks, despite me praying she wont, “Anytime, anyplace, anywhere the boyfriend says” he quips. Ceri bursts into laughter and I can sigh with relief, I’ve not been banned. After hugs we leave for lunch. Mike says it’s a long time since he’s had a piece of fish until I remind him of a previous girlfriend but we settle of the fish and chippie anyway. I have steak pie and chips. This is some diet I’m on. Back at home we take the shopping in to put away and I bring in the recycling bags. The bins are safely back where there should be. I leave Mike to watch TV and come to sort the mail. 108 which I must do before relaxing as I probably won’t come back through here until late after going to watch TV. It’s getting on for 6.00pm when I finish and go to join Mike and Make a light tea. A ham sandwich each and a chocolate eclair. I honestly have no idea what we watched up until a Cold Case serial came on at 9.00. By 10.00 I was hooked but knew I had to leave or I’d be working on messages and the blog until the wee hours. Mike has had to nip though each adverts to let me know how the story is going but I’ve managed to catch up. He hasn’t been to tell me how it finished, he’s probably holding the ending to ransom. Now I think he’s watching an episode of Sharpe’s Rifles, or perhaps not since I can hear a car and I’m sure Sharpe didn’t have a licence.
Hope you all have a wonderful week. Hugs………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….