Tag Archives: Blakemere Village

The Kitten Vanishes and Subliminal Messages.

Sunday 11th Jan 2015

I ended the week with a 4.08 am day. Despite getting to bed not long after midnight and despite being tired I couldn’t sleep and had to read. The light went off at 1.00 am I’m pretty sure Mike’s didn’t however as it was still on when I got up. The new day started quite oddly from my point of view because when I logged on the in- boxes weren’t as full as usual. That’s not a complaint by the way. In fact both were empty by 5.45 am. I went to the loo and on the way back decided to apply some of the Deep Freeze pain relieving gel I bought for the ankle . It was in the lounge so I sat on the couch, applied some to my hand and started rubbing it in. For a moment it stung then the menthol kicked in and it burned like heck. Fair play it was a coldish red hot burn . I’m so glad I’d pulled my pyjama leg up and not the pyjama trousers down as anyone passing the window at that point would have had a shock ( contrary to the rumours spread by you know who). I practically danced the flame(nco), knocking my leg in the process at the instant agony of pain relief. But I dared not try and wash it off in case it was like the experience I have previously recounted about my introduction to Fiery Jack. I went and sat in my chair till the tears dried. There appeared to be none left on the inside of my eyelids when I checked at 6.55 am. The stinging had died to a dull throb.

I went through to the kitchen and turned the lights on, including the fish tank. Little Al was near the front and as I was putting food in I started talking and telling him I was perhaps going to find some new friends for him today. He darted off, stopped by Big Al, had a conflab and moments later Big Al was there head cocked as though listening to every word. I’d stopped speaking by then though. “Not to worry old son” I told him, ” we know you’re the senior crew member and all newcomers must report to you.” That actually seemed to satisfy him and he started grazing. I wonder if he’s been earwigging when I’ve spoken to Mike about new fish, maybe that’s what’s been worrying him. Poor lamb. Well, he’s in for a shock if I get my way because the fish I hope to get will dwarf him and I shall be sure to bribe them to my side of the field quite early on. If anyone is going to rule that tank it will be ME!  With my best imitation of the evil scientist’s laugh I turned away and started to take my meds. As I wasn’t sure what time we’d eat today I thought I’d better have breakfast too so I made some toast with the crusty bread from yesterday.

Once finished I took my post-food tablets and carried my coffee through to my bedroom. More of the expected post had started coming through now so I guessed the delay was due to a leaf on the line somewhere. I got stuck in. It carried me through until just after 9.00 am so I started messing about on ebay which I don’t seem to get to as often as I used to. Just after 9.30 am I paid another visit to the loo and almost passed out on the bathroom floor when I heard the pat pat of size 6 feet heading for the lounge. It couldn’t be……but it was. I went to make him a drink and sat with him for a while. The weather wasn’t nice but it hadn’t snowed and the gale seemed to have dropped so we confirmed the trip to Blakemere to look for fish was still on. By the time we’d washed and dressed and Mike had forced a shoe on my foot it was 10.45 am before we could leave. We still managed to get there by 11.25 am though. First stop the very posh and very pleasant tea rooms from last time. Once we were refreshed it was a trip round the courtyard to a little curio/antique shop and then ( via the loo again) to a larger antique shop on site. After a really good mooch and as it was now 1.00 pm we went to the restaurant for lunch which today was a carvery. I had two good slabs of roast beef and then some potatoes and LOADS of veg Andrea.I realised I’d forgotten my 11.00 am antibiotic and had to readjust the rest of the day’s times and wait until an hour after eating.

Following lunch we went into a shop that imports freetrade items, where Mike bought himself a nice dragon on a tree. We left there intending to go and look at the fish but Mike said he’d just pop into the third ( and last) antique shop while I had a cigarette. I could see him through the window as I smoked and he hadn’t got more than a few feet into the shop. He’d said he didn’t want anything today so I nipped in behind him and said I’d go to the fish place and he could catch me up there. Well, I looked, looked again and looked some more and couldn’t find what I wanted which included Mike for his opinion. I’d been there 45 mins when I could see they didn’t have breed I wanted or the size I wanted. I came out and walked back up the hill. Mike still hadn’t finished buying nothing but it was going to take 3 bags to carry it.Then the card machine was out of order so it was as well I had some cash with me. We got in the car and set off to find a restaurant we thought was also a book shop fairly close by so I could take my tablet. The book shop had gone 9 months ago but the restaurant was very nice. We had a coffee and headed for home.

We got back at 4.30 pm and I had to come straight in and start work. Mike called me at 6.00 pm for half an hour then I returned to it. It was gone 10.00 pm before I finished most of them ( without refreshing) but I owed him some company. Before I joined him I heard a kitten and it sounded as though it was outside. I went to the front door and tried the usual here puss, puss.puss to no avail. I held my breath to listen and immediately the kitten shut up. Feeling a right fool I shut the door quietly and hoped Mike hadn’t heard me.  We watched something that left me very confused about who was related to whom and how before I came back through. It’s now 12.20 pm and I’m going to find tonight’s song then go to bed. I shall finish any outstanding post later on . It will be another odd day as I’m being MuJo’d which is strange on a Monday.

Monday.

4.13 am this morning and I woke to the sound of a wind howling past the house. I crept through to the lounge to see if any snow had fallen overnight and saw my palm tree using it’s fingers to touch it’ s toes. Occasional lashings of rain against the window sent me scuttling for the loo then back to my room where the direction of the wind kept the rain away from the window and outside could be forgotten as I immersed myself in work. I had a break at 6.00 pm long enough to take the antibiotic, then I carried on until 6.48 when both  mailboxes appeared to be  empty. I took a walk through to the kitchen to feed my pals ( and Big Al). The two small corys were out and about flashing here and there. When the food went in there was a melee as everyone tried to catch a bit as it descended. One of the corys even sent Sharkey scuttling away when they both went for the same piece. Sharkey then took it out on everyone else as he tried to find a new piece. Big Al found his and wasn’t budging. He seems to have adjusted to ruling the roost again today.

I left the fish to it and started to take my meds. About the halfway point I considered breakfast but decided against it as I can have tea tonight after MuJo have departed. I continued with the meds then as usual made a coffee. Instead of bringing it back through I sat in my chair in the lounge to drink it and listen to the storm outside. At about 7.30 am it sounded as though it was abating a little. I washed my mug and returned to work. There was a message from a good friend in the US who has (again) bought me a year with Ancestry for my Christmas/Birthday, He sent me the code given by Ancestry.com and I sent a message to Ancestry.co.uk to ask them to transfer the credit to my account. It’s happened e last couple of years and it’s a problem, though last year someone dealt with it easily in the end. I hope they left notes. By 8.15 am both boxes were empty again and I had a little play on  Ancestry.co.uk before putting the kettle on at 8.55 am. As soon as it boiled I took a coffee through to Mike and woke him up. By the time I reached my bedroom again he was asleep again. I got washed and dressed then reminded him the drink was getting cold. This time we made some progress. He slung himself out of bed and shuffled through to the lounge. I’m fairly sure he wasn’t too pleased to have been reminded but I couldn’t risk Muriel arriving while Mike was in his usual state of undress.

I sat next to Mike talking but gradually moved further down the chair so my foot would reach the table and shut my eyes. Mike went off to get washed and dressed so he could make a move towards his father’s. He left the house at bout 10.10 am which was quite good, and I returned to work. Again I caught up though it took a bit longer now more of you were awake and writing. MuJo arrived at 11.00 am an I made drinks as we shared details of our respective Christmases. When it came to a decision about where to eat today I refused to get involved and left to find some shoes to wear. I was very careful putting them on so it didn’t cost me another shoehorn. We ended up going to the Bells of St Mary’s for a carvery ( sound familiar?) where I had some delicious beef, Muriel had Pork and John had beef, pork and gammon ham. I had cabbage by the ton, peas and carrots as well as both mashed and roasted potatoes and a Yorkshire pudding ( sadly missing from yesterday’s meal). It was really nice which is good as that’s where I’m being taken for my birthday and If I managed to screen dump enough of the code, my free meal too.

After the meal there was a discussion about where next. Flint won out because of Temptations and also the need, which I denied, to get me a birthday present I liked. First we went to ALDI which Muriel hasn’t visited before in Flint. I was able to get some chocolates from there instead of my usual shop. I was glad we hadn’t parked far away as it was all wind and rain again when we came out . We needed to turn right out of the entrance and a lorry kindly stopped and waved us on only to be held up behind a car going at 2mph at best. Muriel was jittery as she hadn’t got it in gear and we had to pull over hazard lights going until we were sure there was nothing wrong with the car and also to let all the vehicles we’d delayed get a good distance away. Within moments we were back on our way and parked up by Temptations. It was quite busy and as Muriel ordered the drinks I was able to pass the chocs to Ceri and just about say hello. From there we had a look at a couple of shops with John behind me asking if I liked things, usually expensive. I managed to find a reasonable looking jumper at half price in the sale and said how much I liked it. He stopped nagging me and went with Muriel to the counter to get it and some batteries for a set of electronic remote control candles Mike has bought me that he doesn’t know about yet. I had to struggle to stop Mujo taking them off me to buy.

When we went home they stayed long enough for another drink then started their journey home. I decided to delay starting work long enough to watch The Antiques Road Trip on TV but as soon as it was over I came through. I’d hardly made a dent at 6.00 pm when I had to break off for some tea and to take some painkillers. It was 8.00 pm before I felt able to take another break and watch some Big Bang Theory. When the two episodes were over I took my last antibiotic and my evening tablets and returned to the ‘Office’. At 10.45 pm I was clear and able to do the blog though I’ll have to go back for one last check before bed. I need some sleep tonight . Fingers crossed the evil forecast for tomorrow doesn’t kick in until I’ve returned from my blood test.

Tuesday.

There were a couple of minor hiccups in the night but I still managed to hang on until 4.45 am. I think I have it figured out now, Somnos thinks the earlier I get up the more time for my devotions towards him. Of course it’s not likely he’ll have come into direct competition with technology before and doesn’t know I’d sooner take that than prayer. I also figured out that Porcinus must have borrowed the goats in the hopes that my affiliation with Capricorn would sway me. He obviously never figured out that at this age who wants to be reminded. I swung one leg out of bed, the other one was so heavy it fell out on its own. Telling myself I could make it, I headed for the loo and the will I, won’t I stop start of the day. After that it was straight to the computer ( sorry Somnos and thanks for helping me get here early). The mail was much as expected, it was there. I started work.

I had to go through to take an antibiotic at 6.00 am so decided I might as well do everything while I was there. Fish first as always, I put the tank light on and had an immediate audience. I had the feeling it might not necessarily have been my audience but it didn’t look like Big Al was on the lecture circuit. It’s possible I suppose that I interrupted their morning prayers but if that’s the case then today was the day of miracles when they got manna from heaven. Of course I’d feel bloody silly if they worshiped another god and I’d just confirmed his existence for them. Anyway they weren’t very devout as they were soon chasing the food and the gathering broke up. I wondered who their High Priest is as there would have to be one who claimed to be the voice of god. I turned away and took a pre-food tablet. I spend far too much time with the fish. I’m beginning to worry I might adopt the supposed 6 second memory. I spend far too much time with the fish. I had my sprays and took the morning meds before lighting a cigarette to time the start of breakfast. As soon as I was near the end I put some bread in the toaster and made a coffee.

Breakfast was welcome this morning for some reason, perhaps because I was going out in the cold later. After I’d had the two post-food tabs I wen back to work. I got washed and dressed before doing anything else so the only things I had to worry about later were my shoes and coat. By 7.30 am I was doing so well I could deal with mail as it came in. That makes a big difference when you panic at the slightest backlog. At 8.20 I put my shoe on without breaking a new shoe horn. I’m sure the right shoe went on easier than it has been doing. Good , that should mean I don’t have to keep co-ordinating my clothes to my shoes soon. I got my coat on and left. Outside there was six inches of…….. nothing. Not only had it not snowed but it wasn’t even raining. I struggled to the bus stop next to my neighbour who was going into town. The bus came quite quickly and I was in town by 8.45 am. The hospital isn’t too far away but not an easy task on crutches so it took me until 9.00 am to get there. I collapsed onto a seat and waited for twenty minutes past, then twenty five past and then it was my turn. I ignored the ‘ just a little prick’ jibe and left with the tape pulling at the hairs on my arm. After spending fifteen minutes getting back to town there was a while before my bus so I nipped into Lidl where I found a steam spray for dealing with getting the creases out of clothes hanging up, for Mike. Then I caught the bus home and stopped off at Pauline’s for some cigarettes and my TV mag. She only had one packet left so I may have to go there tomorrow.

At home a message from Yvonne that she’s left the doctor a message re my foot being about the same as last week. Oddly enough I’m sure after this morning it’s gone down slightly. The doctor will either send a new prescription down to the chemist or will ring her back. It wasn’t too long before I found there had been a phone call. The doctor was amazed there hadn’t been a bigger change and is changing the prescription to something stronger. She wanted to be sure my leg hasn’t increased in size. So, I’ll have to try the chemist tomorrow and see what’s been sent as this batch of antibiotics runs out then. I started work again. Quite a few had come in  while I’d been out. I forgot my 11.00 am antibiotic and had to take it nearer noon so lunch had to be delayed until 1.00 pm. I spent the hour trying to read a book I’ve been sent, but there were constant interruptions with mail. Then I put the first of 2 loads of washing in.

After lunch I worked until 2.15 pm then went to watch Father Brown. I even managed to stay awake then. A text message off MuJo about snow at their place getting deep and stopping them going to a funeral. I looked out of the window but here it was just rain. More work until 4.30 pm when The Antique Road Trip came on. I must have missed the last few minutes and woken up towards the end of the next programme. I folded all the washing into the I*oning basket, turned the tank light off and came back through. I fully intended to get clear and leave the room to watch a bit of TV but life doesn’t work like that. The mail has kept me going as I haven’t allowed it to mount up. At 9.00 pm I got changed to be comfortable and noticed my foot does look a bit less swollen and it’s certainly less painful but my leg still looks like it belongs on a piano so no change there then.

parklife 4 USE

Concentration or a bit of cheek?

Concentration or a bit of cheek?

Wednesday.

Whether it’s Somnos himself in charge of the clock or whether he’s farmed that  duty out to one of his ‘brothers’, someone is very on the ball. It’s was 4.45 again this morning. The only difference is that it took me longer to get to sleep last night so I’ve perhaps had 3 hours. Still, I don’t suppose it will make me any crankier than usual. I made a mad limp for the loo as it was really cold but when I looked out of the window still no snow. I returned to my bedroom. switched on the computer and started work. It’s started again. Two messages to tell me my non-existent bank accounts have been frozen pending information, one message from Mystic Mog  who wants to tell me what the next two weeks holds in store for me. I reckon If I can just hang on for 14 days I’ll know too. There was also one that I didn’t know whether to laugh   about or be cross about…                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Hello,
Am Barr.Samuel Tamara a personal Atoney to your brother  whom deposited  some money in the bank
Here in Togo.i want you to come and stand as his nes of kins to claim the money.                                                                                                                                                                             I’m not quite sure what a nes of kins is but I’m quite sure my brother doesn’t need me for the job. I don’t think even the most gullible will be throwing their money at this one.

At 6.00 am I went through to take an antibiotic then decided to sit in the lounge for a while and listen to the rain. Sometimes it can be very soothing and it fact it soothed me to sleep and I didn’t wake up until 6.50 am. No point in going back to work yet so I decided to see to the fish and have some breakfast.  The fish were easy today, once I’d turned the lights on they all crowded round the front of the glass waiting to be fed. I fed them, they set about eating. It occurred to me that they might have been there for another prayer meeting and I wondered whether my new friend Porcinus had anything to do with this sudden sea change in attitudes. maybe Brother Jake has been instrumental in setting it up. I might not be the god they see above them with the food. It would explain why Porcinus has grown a little bigger. I did al I needed to with meds and had some cereal and a round of toast. ( Why a round since bread is oblong?).

I got dressed and spent some more time on the mail. I think I lost track a couple of times when my eyes glazed over and I was stuck in la-la land unable to concentrate.By 9.50 am I’d pretty much caught up though. I managed to get my shoes on and went out to the chemist to see if the new antibiotics were in from the doctor.The sun was shining, it was beautiful but freezing. Hailstones on the ground from during the night unable to defrost The chemists generally go to the surgery in an afternoon to collect prescriptions and she ( The Doctor) was writing it out yesterday. It wasn’t there. I said I’d hold on till this afternoon and call then to see if it had turned up. Then I paid Pauline a visit for some fresh bread and some micro chips  before coming home. Obviously more mail had arrived. At 11.00 am I took the last antibiotic then worked on until midday and lunchtime. I watched all the lunchtime antique show and then came back once again.

At 2.15 am I went to watch Father Brown. I missed the last bit as I nodded off again but as I came back through at 3.00 pm I found a note through the door to say the chemist had called. I never heard a thing. At least I knew they had the prescription now. I was happier as I returned to work . At 4.30 pm O went through for the Antique Road Trip and as I did so, saw the chemist’s van arrive. My friend from there brought the new tablets to the door and I said thank you with a packet of sweets. The show was good. It ended at 5.15 pm and there was no point in going back to work as Dil would be here soon. The quiz show Pointless was on which they generally watch the end of with me. I saw them approach just after 5.30 pm and went through to do drinks which once done I took through and joined them trying to answer obscure questions. As soon as it was over I turned off and Dil  got the table out ready to start. First was Yahtzee- don’t ask. Second was Nomination Whist- don’t ask even more, third and last was Crazy 8’s where unfortunately I was forced to be cruel in order to survive. On this one you can ask- I won.

They left at 9.30 pm to make the journey home. I tidied up and washed the pots before going through to see how bad things were. 142 bad was the answer. Ouch. It took a long time to make any headway and in the end I decided to start the blog rather than finish the mail so I can get to bed.

Another recommendation from my nephew.

Thursday.

I turned my light out after just a chapter last night and was probably asleep by 12.45 am. The early part of my sleep cycle was accompanied by some music. At first I ignored it and it was just in the background but soon it began to intrude as lines of a song penetrated. “Have you thought about changing your ways, you don’t have to know-ow about the world”. Of course, more subliminal messages no doubt courtesy of Somnos. This was by Free singing My Brother Jake. I wondered how many other tortured souls were listening to this right now. It was probably the fact that I liked Free and could fight this  that I started to sing along ( in my sleep) and my voice which is somewhere between a wolf howl and a chicken being strangled brought the session to an end, at least for me. I woke up to the words ” Some are a tough nut to crack.” It was 2.56 am.

I visited the loo, the shock of the bright light waking me even further, before returning to my room and giving life to the computer. I started working on last night’s emails which I hadn’t got too before going to bed. There were quite a few but they posed no particular problem. I noticed though that the first letter of each one was in bold type and in order they read SOMNOS AND THE YOUNG GODS . It was a pleasure to put those behind me. At 6.00 am I went through to the kitchen as quietly as possible an got one of the new tablets I start today.Co-amoxiclav 500/125 mg. I took it back to my bedroom with the leaflet. I know about amoxycillin but read what the leaflet had to say about it but there was for some reason no mention of the clavulanic acid it’s combined with so I had to rely on the net. Apparently it’s like an antibiotic but it hits the things that reject penicillin type antibiotics to make them more effective. Good, my piano leg should start showing signs of returning to normal soon. I put the leaflet down after starting to read some of the possible side effects and saw one that said sleeplessness. How is that possible in my case? I returned to work.

At 7.00 am I went through t the kitchen to take my normal daily meds and to feed the fish. There they were , all hovering around the hatch waiting for food trying to look as though they weren’t. This morning I put the flake in for Morecambe and Wise chatting to them all the while, then adding the pellets for the rest of them while telling them what a nice day it is and what a fine bunch they are. I realise I could probably have been speaking Yiddish to them but oped the tones and inflections in my speech would show Big Al we weren’t at war. From the glances I was getting I’m not sure he was convinced. I turned away and started taking my morning sprays then got a mug of milk for my tablets ( for me to take them that is). Having done that I made myself a drink which I brought back. There was a reply to a message I sent to Ancestry.com which showed they’d totally misunderstood my request to transfer the new year’s subscription to Amazon.com to Amazon.co.uk which I use. All the lady told me was that I could access the Ancestry files from any country. I knew that but I don’t want my subscription on .co.uk to run out and have to start signing in at .com instead. It’s been a problem for each of the last 3 years but in the end I get someone to understand and make the transfer.Looks like it’s going to be a hard time this year.

When I returned to my work I found a new email from the spammer conmen and this one is very professional and will catch people in  the UK out.                                      DEAR HMRC HOLDERS,

In accordance with Financial Services Authority (FSA) regulations, HM Revenue & Customs is adding an
additional layer of security to better protect the privacy of your tax refund account.

You must update your information now before you can proceed.

Update Now

This will only take a few moments.

Yours Sincerely,
Security Advisor.
HM Revenue & Customs

The ways to tell this is a con  . Firstly the address  fdrasdeagr@cox.net is not a valid address for a Government Dept.  Secondly, They have not used your name or your National Insurance Number. Please don’t fall for it.

By 9.15 am I’d cleared the first batch of mail though I hadn’t the courage at that point to refresh. I felt tired which before any of you shout “What, again??”  I’ll try pointing out it’s listed as a side effect of these new tabs (phew). I sat in my chair in the lounge and allowed myself to nod. Not too deeply as I didn’t want to miss anyone as I had the chemist yesterday. Anyway, I was afraid of more Somnos adverts if I slept properly and I might just be persuaded to do something I’d regret. By 10.25 am I was on my feet again telling myself a quick hoover wouldn’t hurt. After reminding myself not to be on my foot too long I had an excuse to delay it so just topped up Ju’s vase and watered a couple of plants instead. Unable to avoid it anymore I returned to work. It hadn’t taken things long to mount up. I opened my second email address to see ow bad things were  and nearly had to call for oxygen.Having said that, I was able to get rid of a fair few duplicates from that address and what was left didn’t seem too bad.

The work kept me going until a natural break at 11.45 am. I took the chance to go for lunch. These new super tablets are just 3 times a day so they don’t interfere with meal times. I’m taking them at 6.00 am, 2.00 pm and 10.00 pm. Perfect 8 hour intervals every time. I made myself some micro chips, coned beef and pickled beetroot for lunch. I think I may need more pickled beetroot this weekend as Mike likes it and won’t be chuffed to find most of it gone. Hopefully I’ll remember to put it on my list. Instead of the usual antique show I put an old Murder she Wrote on to watch during lunch then instead of returning to work straight away at 1.00 pm when it finished, I turned over and had 15 minutes of snooker. I didn’t overdo it as I was determined to watch Father Brown at 2.15 pm. I made it with moments to spare. When that was over at 3.00 pm I went back and attacked the new post with vigour I was worried about The Antiques Road Trip at 4.30 pm to 5.15 pm. Not a problem, I also made that though it was a skin of the teeth job. Next I had to make sure I’d be free for the new Big Bang Theory at 8.00 pm which will just be on a Thursday unless I’m watching the repeat because I missed the first one.

As the day wears on the computer gets slower and slower to load. Writing comments or messages and the words appear ages after I’ve actually typed them so I have to wait for it to catch up before I can see errors. I’m forced to sign out of my emails altogether and then sign back in to speed up a little more for a while. I can hear the fan struggling and almost crying out for help. I have a defrag / disc clean up run every day though so don’t know what more I can do. When 8.00 pm came I hadn’t quite caught up but left anyway. It turned out  the first episode was an old one and the 8.30 pm one was new so I had to stay and watch it didn’t I? It was excellent of course. At 9.00 pm when I returned to my room you lot had been having a ball in my absence so I had a fair bit to catch up on but I wasn’t worried now. I stopped at 10.30 to do the blog and will go back to mail as soon as I’ve done here. As long as I’m up sometime tomorrow to get my lottery from Pauline’s.

Friday.

I thought my birthday had come early today. 4.59 am on the clock which changed to 5.00 am as I sat on the edge of the bed looking for my slippers. I grabbed my dressing gown and started to put it on as I made my way to the loo. Hands washed afterwards I came back and turned the computer on. First thing I followed up on the story of a lunatic who charged into a local supermarket on Wednesday carrying a machete and a hammer and shouting about white power. He then attacked a young dentist causing major injuries. He’s been arrested and charged with racially motivated attempted murder. I understand the injuries to the dentist who I assume is not white are not life threatening but they’re being called life changing which I imagine they are. Wales has a good record as far as prejudice goes having taken Paul Robeson to our hearts and more lately having thrown the KKK out on it’s heels. This incident has caused a fair amount of shock. I wish the young dentist a full and speedy recovery and hope he stays. I wish the young thug, well, you don’t want to know that.

I only worked until 6.00 am as I needed to take the new antibiotic, and as Friday is pill day I thought I might as well do everything else too. Antibiotic first then over to the fish tank which when the lights were on showed Big Al towards the front. I thought I’d have a chat with him before dropping food in. I put my head level with his and spoke. Immediately he turned round and presented his tail. Hmm, I stood and he turned back to the front. I tried speaking again and again he just turned round on me. I had no idea they had maps and knew about Coventry. As soon as I ceased speaking he turned back and waited for food. I gave up and fed them. At least Morecambe and Wise still respond to a few words. I took my meds and then had a pre-foodie before bringing my meds drawer through. I filled the now empty trays and prepared my prescription request for those items I’d finished. As soon as I’d finished I put some bread in the toaster, some cereal in a bowl and prepared to make my coffee. As my breakfast was finished I put the crockery in the washing up bowl, made the coffee, took the two post-foodies and returned to word.

One of the first spams of the day was, once opened, another con. The usual I’m a bank manager, please pretend to be someone who’d dead and we’ll share the money. The difference here was the man claimed to be European and working for one of the big Chinese Banks in Hong King. The letter was beautifully written with none of the usual spelling mistakes.  Some nice jargon too. However, even if I hadn’t known it as a scam, the same two things would have given it away. 1. They didn’t use my name and 2. The address this message came from was not Hong Kong .Try and bear these two points in mind when you get anything suspicious. The work kept me going until 9.00 am when I slowly got dressed and went to Pauline’s for the lottery tickets. I think I’ll win tonight if nobody minds. I had a text from my niece about Sunday to see if it’s still on even though one section of the tribe won’t be there. We’ve decided it will be, so I’ll have to check Mike is here first.

At 11.00 am there was a knock on the door and I opened it to find a wet warden. It was coming down quite hard. I let her in and she led the way to the lounge. The subject came round to fish and she mentioned a large Garden Centre she used to go too that had a large section for fish. I said I’d google it. After she’d gone, I did just that. The place is still there but there’s no mention of fish these days.I googled other fish shops in North Wales and got two good ones that might be worth thinking about sometime. It won’t be this Saturday though as Mike has an assignation with a pretty lady. I’m hoping he’ll be back before breakfast Sunday ready and raring to go. At 12.00 am I had lunch which was a ready meal of braised steak with mashed potatoes and carrots. It wasn’t too bed. Today I watched my antiques show while I ate then came back though when it ended. I was tired and must have nodded off in my seat for a few minutes as I’d a sore neck when I woke.

At 2.15 I excused myself to watch Father Brown. I’m still not sure why. Mark Williams plays the part well as does Sorcha Cusack his housekeeper but the end result never seems to have been worked out by a set of good clues like a Christie book would . I find them a bit hit and miss in parts. Still, it’s a 45 minute break from one screen to another. Then it was back to work again. So much post coming through today. I told myself I’m knocking off at 4.30 pm for the Antiques Road Trip whatever happens.  What actually happened was I got stuck in the middle of an email and didn’t get away until 4.45 pm but no matter, I was able to glean what, if not how, had been bought at the auction stage of the programme. Much as I like Charlie Ross, this week he was beaten by road trip newbie young Natasha from Glaagow and I was pleased. She was a breath of fresh air. Her arms were like the blades of a windmill ever circling but she was so nice, so eccentric, who cared. Towards the end of the programme I had a text from Mike to say he was half way to me and had stopped for food ( probably thinks I’ll poison him ). It wasn’t worth returning to work as he was probably half an hour away. He arrived about 6.15 pm and watched the end of a quiz with me. I made a coffee for him then went to get changed for my shower. As usual Mike was fantastic and did my hair to save me risking an angina attack. After the shower I made myself a sandwich then we watched a bit of snooker, a sports quiz and Mastermind. I hadn’t got the excuse to stay away any longer and had to return to work.

To be honest, you must have all been having your tea or washing the pots as for once the mail wasn’t as bad as I feared. I was able to take my time with it and comment a little more often. More importantly I was able to make sure I tweeted as much as possible for everyone. At 10.0 pm I took my last of the new tablets for today. I asked Mike what he thought about the leg and he agreed it had gone down slightly in some places but he couldn’t understand ( nor can I ) what all the skin peeling is about. At 10.30 pm I stopped work on the messages long enough to spend some time on the blog which takes longer to do than you’d think. I can return to messages later and break off when I need to.

Saturday.

It’s hard to believe a Saturday could start like this. 3.57 am I wake up, I get up, I pee for Britain in the Stop-Start Olympics, then I turn on the computer. There are just 37 messages in my inbox and 9 of those are from last night that I didn’t get to. I’d finished just after 5.00 am and was wondering what the heck to do next. Should I be creepy and listen in to all Mike’s sleep-conversations from beside the bedroom door. Maybe I can find out who it is he keeps giving a bollocking to. But maybe that’s not such a good idea in case it’s me . What if he woke up and saw me there, he might just think it’s the burglar again.He might find it hard to explain to the police how I sprouted 6″ of steel from my chest. Maybe I could freak the fish out by going to talk to them for a while. In the end I settled for playing on my Ancestry.co.uk and following some of he hints they have given me. It didn’t prove to be very helpful.

At 6.00 am  went to get my antibiotic bomb and like yesterday decided to do everything at once. If I saw to the fish and took my other meds I’d be able to have the rubbish taken out before I had to concentrate on getting Mike up. Accordingly I witched the light on in the tank. Big Al was in my face. Behind him was Little Al with the two new cory’s swimming rings round his tail as though they wanted him to play. Had I not been watching he probably would have done so. Showing my mean side I leaned down a little closer and said quite loudly “BOO!” I regretted it straight away but too late, Little Al went spinning away in confusion and the two youngsters thinking games had started followed him. Morecambe and Wise were swimming at the top of the tank waiting for food even though breakfast didn’t officially start for an hour. Sharkey and the plecs were otherwise occupied so it left just Big Al and I eyeball to eyeball. It became a staring competition though I must admit he was far better at it than I. It occurred to me that maybe he wa asleep and I’d never know since they don’t close their eyes as far as I know. I’ve never seen him blink anyway. I’d no idea what I could possibly have done wrong and thought the whole thing was stupid. I stood up. I swear I heard the sound of applause and Big Al with a smug grin like he’d proved something yet again. “Yeah well I’m bigger than you” was the only pathetic retort I could come back with.

Shoulders slumped I went to take my meds then I emptied the rubbish and food waste bins and took them outside to the appropriate bins which I wheeled and caried down the path. Coming back inside I gathered the recycling bags and took those out as well. Coming in again I put fresh bin bags in all the containers, washed my hands and made myself a coffee. By now I’d noted that it was 6.80 am so before returning to my room I put the kettle on for Mike. At 7.00 am his alarm went off. Moving as quickly as I could I made a coffee and took it through making sure he heard my voice telling him it was there, and purposely saying he could tell me who he’d been arguing with at 4.00 am when I’d heard him shouting. I’d hoped that was enough. At 7.10 am, the second alarm went off. The moment it ceased I made sure my voice even more loudly told him not to forget his coffee, it was going cold. There was acknowledgement so I was hopeful. I returned to work. At 7.20 am his alarm went for the third time. “Mike” I shouted several decibels higher, “your coffee’s cold.” There was fresh acknowledgement which might have contained an epithet or two so I was sure I was on a winner. I, was, he moved and by 7.30 am had made his way to the lounge and lit his first cigarette. The coughing woke me.

We left the house after 8.00 am,a tad later than usual and in his usual fashion, despite the black ice, tried to bring into play whatever coil it is that you use to get to the future. I think we were at ASDA for 8.00 am (ish). Mike got the trolley, I got my cash, and we headed in. I wasn’t altogether pleased with the choice of flowers for Ju but at least she has a colourful display today. I worked my way round to the gent’s clothing while Mike nipped to the loo. My timing was exceptional as they were putting final clearance prices out like Jeans from £16 to £2. I placed a few items in the trolley and rushed a bit so Mike couldn’t spoil my fun. That might have been a mistake. I was looking at reduction in the houseware aisle when Mike returned. He said nothing. We carried on and actually found space in the trolley for some food, though not much, before going for a coffee. I sent a text to my niece to confirm arrangements for tomorrow then we got in the car to drive to Flint. The sun was really shining this morning but where there was shade the frost and ice remained. There was no heat out at all. It seemed to get up to 2 degrees and stick there.

In Flint we parked up and walked (limped since as we say here I almost went arse over tit on the ice with 2 crutches and two legs all heading for the four points of the compass) We went round a couple of shops to pick up some chocolates for the girls in Temptations and for The Ivy later. Then we went for a coffee. I said to Mike it’s the last coffee I’d have there while still 63, he said it’s the last day I could do a Beatles number( when I’m 64). We joked with Ceri and the staff as usual an then Mike sat with his teacake and we had our drinks. Before I finished Ceri went past collecting cups and saucers and went to the far end of the shop.Minutes later she came back with a gift bag and a birthday balloon and gave me a big kiss. After I’d thanked everyone Mike even made me carry it out myself and took his time storing it in the car. We still had a little time before lunch so walked to another shop  to look at jackets and other sale items but there was nothing he liked. We headed for the Ivy.

Te carpark was full which was good news for the business but bad news for us since Tariq doesn’t get as much chance to chat when things are ,like that. Still. Angie offered a greeting kiss ( I haven’t been this lucky in years) and our table was free. We said hi to young Rob then as Angie brought the drinks we ordered lunch. I was able to take my pre-foodie. Shirley came in and though she obviously wasn’t her usual self ( who would be, especially as I think the funeral was this week) you could see she was trying. She and her daughter sat with Mike and I and had a coffee while she also sorted out when she’d be returning to work. She”s been missed. She starts again next  Thursday. Tariq came out with our lunch and apologised for not having been able to come out to see us. We understood. Once he’d gone Angie said something about my birthday and another woman by the counter said it’s her daughter’s birthday tomorrow too. I intended to go over and say Happy Birthday but by the time I’d finished eating they’d gone. Shirley and her daughter left. We finished eating and I got up to pay. Angie gave me another kiss -wow. I paid the bill and said goodbye and Tariq came flying out distraught that he’d only just found out about the birthday and he’d done nothing about it. I got a great hug which made a fantastic gift an wanted nothing more but he wanted me in tomorrow. I said I can’t make it so he’s determined to do something for next week. I hope he gets busy enough to make him forget. I was sorry we hadn’t seen Shella today. We left and headed for home.

Once home we unpacked the bags.Te food went away and I came through to unpack the clothes. A cardigan for Bert who always brings my bins and bags in and a often takes in parcels for me. Jeans for Mike- right size- Tee shirt for Mike- right size. Jeans for me- on the wrong hanger and would only fit a midget. Tee shirt for me-OK, shirt for me- wrong hanger will fit an ogre. I knew I shouldn’t rely on the hanger but should always check the label. B*gger. I started work and even though this morning had been gentle, the rest of the time had made up for it. To make matters worse I was tired and wanted to nod off. I soldiered on until Lis appeared with a gift and my usual hugs n’ kisses. I made drinks and we chatted about how her daughter Charlie is ( beautiful girl) and what we’d been up to this week. When it was time to say goodbye I left Mike with his beloved Man.Utd and started work again. I didn’t seem to be making much progress until I’d gone through and made tea and watched TV with Mike for half an hour. After that I put my back into it , started using three fingers for typing and actually managed to get almost up to date for 8.00 pm when I joined Mike for an hour or so again so he didn’t shout at me. At 9.15 I started again and managed to get up to date for 10.30 pm. YAY !!

Slightly more highbrow tonight. This is a fantastic piece.

Have a Great  Week Everyone.

 

 

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The 1st Day of Christmas & Cleavage Tea Rest.

Sunday. 

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me, a foolproof way to bump off a god and not get caught. Convince another god that the first god is trying to inhume him and let him do the job for you. At least that’s how my thoughts ran at 4.49 am this morning when I woke. I’d no intention of getting up at that time but of course all they had to do was prompt my bladder and the choice was out of my hands. There was a muted muttering under the breath on the return trip as Mike was still sleeping of course. When I reached my room I turned on the computer and checked the lottery before I tried to concentrate on the mail. You’d think Somnos, Porcinus or one of their ilk or even the older gods might feel I was owed a debt but no, a resounding NO, not even a number. The mail started out no better for me. There were comments on last night’s blog which were kind but nothing that suggested it was as funny or funnier than usual and I’d built up such hopes. As with many writers I lack some confidence so to write something that actually pleased me was rare but now it seemed my deflation was due.

I was getting towards time to leave the room when my first message came through that the blog had left a friend laughing. Brilliant, but hang on, this is a friend now so are they saying it to make you feel better? And so the over thinking goes. I left the room and went straight to the kitchen where the star of his own show was waiting for me. I was almost expecting to be sacked as his manager but I remembered I’m the hand that feeds him too and you don’t cut off that hand. Actually he was lying atop the amphora and it seemed, giving forth. A soliloquy from Shakespeare maybe, I wasn’t sure if the plecs were enthralled, asleep or dead until I opened the hatch and put food in. Big Al turned and gave me a dirty-red eyed-look. As he turned back to show he was ignoring me both he and I noticed his audience had taken the opportunity to creep away. I’m guessing I’ll get the blame for that too.

Once I’d taken my meds and made a coffee I went back to my room.I did a few more messages then got washed and dressed. More emails were coming in so I concentrated on clearing as many as I could before it was time to wake Mike. I had no idea how many David would be bringing this morning and I didn’t want them confronted by Mike half dressed and not fully awake. They’d think I had a pet neanderthal. 9.00 am was as late as I dared leave it so at five minutes to I went and turned the kettle on. It took 3 calls before I could get him to acknowledge his coffee was there but eventually I succeeded and felt it safe to return to work. At some point I heard Mike get up and go to the lounge then leave the lounge and get dressed before returning there to finish or refresh his drink. I’d just gone through to say good morning when I heard him say they’re here. In order of arrival for the man who hates crowds came My nephew’s wife and my youngest great niece, David himself, his mother in law, my eldest great niece, her partner and my great grand nephew a little older than Reuben.There was a knock at the door which surprised me and I called “Come in” then remembered I might need to unlock the door first. I was so glad of my ‘wall of shame’ which some people stood to admire as it meant we could sit in shifts, exchanging places at the wall. Thanks heavens not everyone wanted hot drinks. Someone vacated a seat when David started pointing out who was who on the wall and I jumped at the opportunity to sit for a minute. There was no chance to hold a proper conversation but it sounds like David’s throat is OK for now and he’s started a new job albeit temporary.

When they left I had chance to hug Marissa and pass over some gifts to go under her Christmas tree. She does seem to have a nice little family group. Mike started to do Ju’s flowers so I retreated to my pit again and brought myself up to date. I’d remembered one more gift I needed to get so as soon as we’d both finished we got in the car and headed for Prestatyn. I bought a few decorative things for my tree then since Mike wouldn’t accompany me to a Costa I suggested we had a coffee in Marks and Spencers. It was about 1.00 pm now. When we found the cafe Mike saw they did meals and had quite a fancy for a curried dish they had on the menu. About the only thing on the menu for me was a baked potato with goulash mushrooms. We paid and took our drinks to a table. My fist mistake was in no asking for a single shot latte, this was very strong. My second mistake was in not asking how long the meal would be ( and I don’t mean about 8″ the same as the plate). I took my pre-food tablet expecting the meal would be no more than 15 minutes. It was 20 minutes before someone came to the table to say they’d run out of the curry would he accept something else? I’d have been ready to go at this point and head for a nice cafe in town but he did make another suggestion- also run out. He made a third suggestion and you could tell his patience was at an end. After nearly 40 minutes the meals arrived. I started mine and was pretty sure it had never been to Hungary but it was edible. Mike started his, first bite from the centre of his pie and it was cold. The manageress offered us 2 free coffees, an alternative meal for Mike after checking it was cold, it was, he refused, and a refund of his proportion of the bill. I felt guilty for carrying on eating but he waited. He brought back the refund but I made him keep it and buy something to eat elsewhere…he chose the motorway on the way home.

We headed for home where he loaded up the car and after a coffee left to start the long journey. I started work. It’s odd when he goes and there’s no-one to banter with. At 5.30 pm I had a half hour break for a  sandwich and some rhubarb pie. Then back to work until 8.30 pm when I had a TV break which also lasted half an hour. Since then I’ve been here battling constantly to get up to date. Off out tomorrow for Yvonne’s birthday.

My tree at the front window.

My tree at the front window.

Monday.

4.23 am this morning seemed to arrive a lot quicker than it was supposed to. It wasn’t very welcome though I should point out it hasn’t actually done anything to me, but I’m not best pleased with Kronos who may well be working hand in glove with Somnos whose parentage I still don’t know. Since I have to be out of the house at 7.30 am I daren’t ignore them and stay in bed seeking more sleep, that would just ensure I missed my bus.  I took a stroll to the loo and then powered up the computer when I returned. There was plenty of mail to go at but not enough to cause any worries, barring any sudden surges I’d be up to date when I left. At 6.00 am I got washed and dressed so there were no last minute panics if I forgot the time, I thought breakfast would be a good idea today too since I didn’t know when we’d stop to eat. After seeing to the fish ( I must have caught them half asleep this morning as none of them bothered with me at all) I took my meds and put some sliced rolls in the toaster.Once I’d eaten those I made sure I had foodie tabs to take out with me and returned to work.

7.30 am arrived soon enough and I was out the door, bags in hand, struggling to get to the bus stop in the intermittent hail and rain storms. Typically today it was a dead heat at the bus stop between the bus and myself. Once settled in my seat I closed my eyes to cut out the other passengers  and nodded off leaning on my crutches. I was rudely awoken a few times when the driver pulled up a little sharply, when one of our roads produced a pot hole we couldn’t miss and when my grip relaxed leaving my chin to come down on the armpiece of the crutch a little hard. I received a message from Yvonne telling me not to bring bags as she’d pick them up later when they dropped me off. DUH ! She also said they’d pick me up in town if I went to Cafe Nero. So, as the bus drew in at Chester the hail started and I was hammered all the way to the cafe. Once inside I could see it stopped.. I sat with a latte for a while and then deciding to have a cigarette I went outside to wait. Down came the hail again. I also got a text to sat they were on the way which I could barely read because of the hail melting on my right hand. I crossed the road to the bay where they would pull in, and they did.

We were at Blakemere Village at 9.45 am and went for coffee until the shops opened. Ugo must have ordered raisin teasted toecakes because the waitress came to the table to announce they only had a different one which he accepted for everyone bar me who had already had breakfast. While waiting, I gave Yvonne her birthday gifts, a tablet and a tablet case. She was thrilled. Mike had sent a silver chain with her birthstone on and she loved it immediately. There were a few smaller gifts for all of them which weren’t really Birthday related. The teacakes arrived and were eaten though I don’t think anyone was too impressed. By the time we’d done and Reuben was back in his pushchair the shops were well open. We walked round all of the Indonesian  wood craft shops and admired everything. Yvonne even made a small purchase. We went round the courtyard shops where Ugo bought a handcrafted birthday card for a friend and I got Reuben a T.Rex cuddly toy at which time the siren started. Nothing seemed to have set it off, and nothing would console him so we missed the next couple of shops and I mentioned the magic word- chocolate. A teddy bear consoled him after he’d bitten it’s head off and we were able to continue on the journey.

Somewhere between finishing the chocolate teddy bear and the next two shops Reuben fell asleep- he is his grandad’s grandson- so we stopped for a tea at a beautiful little teashop. From there we went to a toyshop and Reuben woke up. As he was in the pushchair and there were toys around he wanted OUT, and the siren started it’s distress signal until he was. Ugo held his hand while Reuben guided him round pointing at everything in wonder. The place was closing down so Yvonne was able to get some things with a 20% discount. Then we went to the pet and aquarium shop where both Reuben and I were thrilled to listen to the birds chattering away. He wanted out of the pushchair again so Ugo carried him for a while. By the time we caught the rabbits and guinea pigs Reuben was walking and following me round the fish section. I drooled at some of the fish and it was decided that my birthday present would be a couple of catfish. They had some stunning ones and also had a huge gibbiceps which was like an armoured tank. Snakes and lizards next which were very pretty but as we moved to the spider section I felt my toes curl up.

We left there and decided to return to the same cafe for lunch.  I read to Reuben as we waited for lunch to arrive and he made the appropriate growling noise as the monsters appeared.I had pie of the day with chips and mushy peas, Reuben had pizza, Yvonne had BLT’s with some of Reuben’s chips and I’ve no idea what Ugo had. It is safe to say now it’s not a meal I’d want to repeat. I think I’d prefer the other cafe that used to be on site but which is now a craft centre to throw pots and dip candles. After lunch as it seemed to early to go home Ugo drove us to the Wirral about half an hour away to a large wholesalers Yvonne likes for gifts. It was mainly given over to Christmas trees and decorations today. It was quite impressive. We still bought noting though Yvonne was very impressed by a 7 foot artificial tree.

They drove me home and the motion sent Reuben to sleep. They wouldn’t come in and risk waking him up so I just went inside to turn my Christmas lights on to show I was making an effort. I waved them off and then came inside to start work. It was 4.30 pm and quite dark so I left the lights on. Almost 200 emails since morning so I tried to make some headway. One of the best cons I’ve seen today though not one I believed. A charitable foundation in Canada set up by the $40m winner of a lottery. Wants me to have $1m to distribute to charities in my area in honour of his wife who died from cancer. The page was well set out and very professional for a change. The losing a wife from cancer hit home badly so they’d either struck lucky or had done their homework.

It took me until 11.45 am to get up to date with just a break for a piece (the last) of the rhubarb pie. I’d refreshed the screen about 10.30 am so I’d done quite a lot. That just left time for this before I was able to go to bed for a short read.

Breakfast with Pops 1Breakfast with Pops

Tuesday.

I woke at 3.17 am and all I had running round my head was ‘Publicist to the Gods’ as though there had been subliminal messaging running through my head as I slept. It was like the cinemas that used to turn the heat up and then stick secret messages behind the films telling you ice cream would be a good idea just before the interval. It looks like Somnos has gone for the subtle approach after the frontal assault didn’t work. After such a short sleep I doubt this approach will work either. A more direct approach in person is likely to result in a bloody nose and a whimpering god. Still when I started the mail I was cheered by ‘Sexy Sadie ‘has sent you a video. After the last one of these I didn’t need or want to click on it since, how shall I put it ahem, the more voluptuous woman is not my ideal. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I mean, I’ve got friends whose cleavage I could rest my mug of tea on and I love them but not in that way if you get my drift. It was sent quickly to the sin bin. Now if Katie Hepburn is out there somewhere and her guide dog doesn’t need a muzzle, I’m waiting.

I carried on with the mail, happily deleting blatant adverts until 6.30 am then went through to the kitchen. Two of the plecs were on the air pump which vibrates so I was wondering whether this was a medicinal thing with them or pleasurable. If the latter I hope Big Al gets a turn as his face wasn’t going to break into a grin anytime soon. Even little Al seemed to be quite cheery so maybe he’d already had a go. I had a look round the tank to be sure these weren’t distracting tactics while they dug the escape tunnel. I wonder if I could explain the concept of Christmas to Big Al? I fed them, took my meds and brought my coffee back to my desk.Before starting work again getting dressed seemed the best option to keep me warm since I can feel a draught this morning. I need to find the source soon.

By 9.30 am I was almost up to date  and decided to go out to the shops. First stop the chemist with a repeat prescription request and a box of Ferrero Rocher for the staff, then the Post Office, situated at the far end of the same shop where I needed to post a parcel off and hand over a box of chocolates for them. I get brilliant service and great help from both places and I appreciate it. Then to Pauline’s where I picked up my TV mag and also the 2 week Christmas issue which made me realise how close it is. A packet of bacon accidentally fell into my hand as did a Twix and 5 packs of cigarettes. OK, they weren’t accidental. I came home and put everything away then went back to work. By 11.00 am I was up to date again and so started wrapping a couple of presents. It made me realise just how much I hate this job. Buying them- no problem, wrapping them-Ugh. My hands shake so I’m more likely to sellotape me than the parcel.

That job took me up to lunchtime and my noon viewing. I had a shepherd’s pie and enjoyed Bargain Hunt, even the auction stages. I had to return to work at that point as I saw there was something I wanted to watch at 2.15 pm and if I’d fallen asleep at 1.00 pm I wouldn’t have dared skive off.  Busty Bertha had joined Sexy Sadie in the ‘Look at my Boobies’ stakes but I still wasn’t inclined to look. I remember taking a quick peek (accidentally, my finger slipped ) some years ago at one of these in my naivety and saw a woman with more muscles than Arnie in his body building heyday. Her neck was bigger than my thigh and her boobs had what looked like varicose veins. T’was not a pretty sight or site. Today it would have been a real Nightmare before Christmas. I carried on working, responding to mail, retweeting blogs and commenting on blogs as well as reading some of the adverts for Woucher etc. I thanked all those wonderful people who had retweeted for me and commented on my blog. What a patient bunch you are. At 2.15 pm I went to watch my programme. I stayed awake the whole hour and surprised myself. I knew my next break would be at 5.00 pm hen I had some tea.

The work wasn’t too arduous this afternoon, it was just constant. Keeping pace wasn’t a problem but I was secretly asking Kronos in my head what the chances were of me getting ahead of myself by answering the stuff that hadn’t reached me yet. That would mean I could take the time off at 5.00 pm and not come back to a new pile. I might even manage 40 or so winks. He wasn’t interested so I laboured on. At 4.50 pm I reached a balance again so went through to take a pre food tablet and make myself a sandwich- beef and beetroot, with a bag of quavers for my tea. I didn’t eat them until the 15 minutes was up but then followed them with my after food tabs and  small chocolate marshmallows. The first quiz was good and quite entertaining as the contestant ended up playing for £50,000 against an expert and only lost by one second. The expert ended looking harassed. Eggheads was also good but the contestants there fared no better at least for the first 15 minutes, after that my eyelids closed and the last 15 minutes I spent examining them from the inside. I woke up to find Come Dancing on but it had only been on moments and no-one knew so I was OK.

I came back through and the work had piled up in my absence but that was OK as I was here for the rest of the night now. Tomorrow no doubt you’ll hear my screams as MuJo are coming to take me out in the morning and then Dil will be round for games in the evening. If I’m very lucky I’ll get an hour between departure and arrival to clear some. Well, back to work now to see what else has arrived.

The Sanity Clause and his little helper.

The Sanity Clause and his little helper.

Wednesday.

Sing Hallelujah, this has been such a long day and so much post waiting for me at the end of it that you are to be offered a shortened post.

I was up at 4.27 am and after enjoying  the relief of Mafeking I started in on the emails with the intention of at least being up to  date before I went out. Between then and 10.10 am I managed to deal with the fish, take meds, have my coffee, get washed and dressed and yes, get up to date too. I even managed to wrap to small gifts before MuJo arrived at 10.30 am. I saw to drinks for them , gasped at the size of one of the Christmas packages they brought in ( a giant loo brush capable of coping with all the bends down as far as the sewer I’m told) and then sat chatting for 45 minutes.

We took a ride into town so John could look at the Charity shops and I was able to use the opportunity to nip to the jewellers. The job I needed was done for me withing a minute and at no charge which was a great display of Christmas spirit. We looked at a couple of shops that do decorations as John is very much a Christmas person. Then we went for lunch at the Bells in Holywell which they’re very fond of.  After lunch we went to Flint where we had a good trot round the shops before going to get a drink at Temptations. I made sure I picked up some chocolates  before we went in. A couple more shops after coffee and then we drove home. I felt awful that I hadn’t wrapped their gifts yet though I have got them in Christmas sacks ready. I id manage to give them a gift I’d picked up while we were out.  They left about 4.15 pm and I literally flew in here to start work.

182 messages waiting and an hour before Dil is due.!! I did work hard but was still well over the 100 mark when it was time for me to stop. Dil and Matt arrived at 5.30 pm. I made drinks, we watched the end of a TV quiz and then got the games table out. I’ve no choice but to admit the night was a total disaster.  In Yahtzee I won one leg out of six played. Dil three, Matt two. I Nomination Whist I might as well not have played at all as they both romped ahead of me with Matt finally beating Dil by 10 points. There was a lot of smirking going on in which I was not partaking. At last it was Crazy 8’s which is usually my game, but not tonight. Though I got Matt’s score up to being MUCH worse than mine, every time I tried to catch Dil it rebounded on me and they both laid pick up cards on me meaning Matt didn’t lose by much. Oh quelle horreur.  They left at 9.30 pm as usual and after the usual tidy up and washing of pots I retired to my room for the night. Mail now up to 188. At 11.30 pm I stopped to do the blog with about 40 to go and I hope to finish those before bed. Wish me luck.

Thursday.

I don’t know if I was hyped up, spaced out or just too stressed by the amount I’d got behind yesterday, but I do know that after turning my light out last night about 1.00 am I was back up and (sort of) raring to go at 2.28 am. Not what you’d call a great night’s sleep. Somehow though I’d cleared up the remnants of yesterday (by not liking/tweeting those people who never visit my blog and return the compliment) by 4.30 am. I suddenly realised it was quite cool and perhaps a wee kip was in order so I sidled sideways back into bed and woke again at 7.15 am. You might think that this could send me spiraling into guilt and fresh panic due to Big Al but last night at about 8.30 pm Matt had gone to the kitchen for a drink and found I’d forgotten to turn their light off. So, swings and roundabouts eh? Mind you, last night he’s almost put their lights out completely as I asked him if he’d do the honours to save me moving and he turned it off at the wall. That meant off went the filters and airpump too. It was only when I heard, well nothing, that I twigged and got it turned back on. So really Big Al should be treating me as a saviour today.

Oddly enough that didn’t seem to be Big Al’s take on the minor delay  when I got to the kitchen unless of course he was a bit peeved about last night. As I moved from the near end of the tank towards the middle to feed them all, Big Al moved with me. Never once breaking eye contact it was like a rabbit in the headlights and I could see the car hurtling towards me. If glaring was an art form he’d be Modigliani. I was going to say Rembrandt but I can’t spell it. He lived near a lot of water too. I dropped the food in the slot by feel alone and was so fortunate at that moment to stub my toe on the cupboard that I could escape before the Jag mk 1V hit me ( oh come on, I’m not being hit by anything less). I took my meds on the run using my coffee so all that was heard down the hallway was my gasp as I tried to swallow the hot drink. Opening and closing my mouth in an attempt to cool it I must have resembles one of Big Al’s tribe.

Back at my desk I checked my bank to make sure I wasn’t in penury, had a quick look at ebay to make sure I wasn’t missing anything exciting and then started work again. There was early mail from Australia on one site that gave me great pleasure to answer since the banter is always good and a letter from a friend in Germany. I was on automatic pilot for a while as I sat thinking about how lucky I am in my friends. Some would say I have acquaintances since I haven’t met these internet friends, or virtual friends but I know differently. Yes, there are many who are just part of the social scene of being an author, reader, blogger but there are some who you know would be there through thick and thin. To be fair, most of them think in my case it’s thick. I worked until 8.30 am and though I had no intention of going out today, I got dressed. By 10.00 am I was up to date again and by prodding myself from behind with a penknife forced myself to take the path into Mike’s room and the wrapping of gifts. Next year I’m only buying things that come giftwrapped. This is a job I really don’t enjoy. Even square shaped things manage to tear the corners of the paper and trying to disentangle myself from the sellotape is worthy of the Keystone Cops.

It was wonderful when lunchtime approached and I was able to break away, not that many people agree lunchtime is 10.15 am. I just happen to be very slow at making it. In truth it was just past midday when I stopped and I was ready to eat. It was a corned beef hash today followed by a BFG mousse. Not bad, but I’ll save the second one for Mike. Bargain Hunt was quite eventful when one team went home with more than £200 which is an event as rare as hen’s teeth. I returned to my desk after lunch so that I would be free for 2.15 pm and the mystery series I’ve been enjoying. Today was no exception though it’s a bit annoying not having clues you can follow yourself to reach a who dun it conclusion. Yet again I returned to the desk after that to keep the mail down as much as possible in case Mike arrived. I was thrilled to receive an e card from my friend in Spain which goes well with the advent calendar I’m enjoying daily from Australia.

I took breaks from 5.30 pm to 6.30 pm and then worked hard so I’d be free for the new Big Bang Theory at 8.00 pm. Mike arrived at 8.45 pm and had a coffee thrust in his direction while I watched the newest episode but we managed to chunner a bit during one we’d seen before. He told me he’s coming on Boxing Day to stay for a week or so till the kids go back to school. That’s a shame, he’ll miss hanging up his stocking on Christmas eve now. I hope he’ll be here in time for the gathering of the clans on boxing day or I might have to eat all the trifle myself. At 9.30 pm I went to clear the wrapping materials off his bed before coming back for a final assault on tonight’s work.

Friday.

Do you ever get the feeling something’s brewing? No missus, I didn’t mean the tea. Something dark and dastardly that stinks faintly of unwashed hooves maybe.

I got to bed last night in time to have a short read. I’m at a vital part now and wanted to carry on to see if the escaped Templars now in Scotland, managed to buy ships from Genoa to make another journey. It was very cold last night and so I turned the light off about 1.00 am and snuggled down. I don’t know how long it took me to drift off but I know I was tired. I distinctly remember starting the 12 days of Christmas in my head at some stage. I got as far as 2 Turtle Doves before I woke up and heard a snigger. It was 3.09 am. Obviously I had to get up. put my dressing gown on and grab a thick stick to check the house with. Nothing in the lounge, the kitchen or the bathroom. Michael was lucky I remembered he was here or he might have woken to find himself dead and me throwing bedding into the washing machine. I found nothing. I went back to my room and was sure I saw something fade away from my office chair as I turned the light on. It occurred to  me that wearing my glasses might have helped and that possibly, just possibly I could have walked past a burglar and not seen him. I put my glasses on. I was wide awake but knew something was odd, oh yes, I hadn’t been to the loo yet. Odder still, I wasn’t ready to go.

There was a whiff of damp goat or something as I sat in my chair and turned on the machine. As it was loading an advert flashed across the screen, PUBLICISTS WANTED. APPLY NOW. I carried on and signed into my mail. The first message appeared to be my daily horoscope which was odd as I’m not signed up to one. Interesting to see what they say though. Capricorn. You may feel out of your comfort zone this week by the offer of a new job. If you have social skills ( and what Capricorn doesn’t) and an ability with social media, you should give it your full consideration. The rewards could be great. Refusal could be costly.

Smiling at the generality of these things I clicked to bin it.  it disappeared into the ether I was repaid by 25 more messages popping into my mail box without even refreshing it. I knew there must be a system error as every other one was a horoscope with some words emphasised… Refusal could be costly.  I deleted them and carried on with the rest of the mail. It must have been around 5.30 am when I caught up and since it was far too early for the fish I decided to go and sit in the lounge by the radiator. It didn’t take me long to nod off. It was a restless sleep in the chair and the whispering on  the edge of my consciousness kept bringing me back to the surface while I was hearing “No, no, let him sleep, it’s easier for him to think it’s his idea this way.”  I think  someone underestimated me and forgot just how lightly I always sleep. Things began to make much more sense and that feeling must have seeped through to my brain because I heard  “DRAT” and suddenly my head was clear. “Those conniving, illegitimate………” I thought, and woke up. It was 6.30 am, a good enough time to face the fish and to do my Friday drugs.

By 7.30 am I was back in my room with a coffee making inroads into the next batch of mail. Things went quite steadily but the computer was under union orders to go slow. As I clicked on a message to upload I was able to get dressed and dance a quick paso doble before it appeared. I managed about a dozen before 9.00 am but luckily there weren’t too many left. I made Mike a drink and called him twice to let him know it was on the bedside table. Then it was time to go to Pauline’s for some Milk and my new lottery tickets When I got back there had been no movement so I called loud enough for the street to hear that he mustn’t let it gi cold. He sat up startled, moved those little legs and went to the lounge. I joined him a few moments later. At 10.00 am he suggested he should get moving. DUH, that’s why I wake him, and by 10.15 am he was on his way to Manchester. I returned to my room and signed out of mail then signed back in to see if things had improved. They had except there was more mail again now. The real postman brought me some cards including a lovely one from friends in the Lone Star State. I grabbed a few minutes to put them up.

I worked until 11.00 am intending to do a little more wrapping but didn’t make it. Instead I nodded off in my chair again……peacefully this time. It wasn’t for long as my stomach suggested I fed it so I took my pre-food tab at 11.15 am and prepared to indulge in cottage pie. It was too early for Bargain Hunt so I started watching a Christmas film to pass the time and stayed with it until it finished at 1.15 pm. Since the new serial I’ve been enjoying is on at 2.15 pm it was a rush to do some work in order to justify another skive this afternoon. Whether or not it was justified I skived again until 3.15 pm but made up for it afterwards by not going to watch my usual programmes until 6.00 pm when eggheads came on. I made myself some beans on toast to enjoy while I watched it. Pushing my luck a little further I also watched an old Big Bang Theory before going for a shower. I’d expected Mike back before then but hoped he’d remember his keys if he came while I was in the shower as these days that door is locked. I can’t get used to the idea that a burglary could make me change so much. I only locked the front door if I was going out all day before. I never bothered for a trip to the shops.

After the shower I had a quick push at the mail until 8.00 pm whn Mastermind was on. Mike finally arrived home just before half past with a Chinese meal as he hadn’t eaten all day. He’d texted to see if I wanted anything but actually what I didn’t want was an increase in my waist size again. I’ll be in clown trousers soon. I stayed with Mike as there was a programme on about Queen at 9.00 pm. It hurt me but I had to disappear and come to work at 10.00 pm despite the second programme on Queen starting then. Naturally a lot of mail had accrued during my skives so it took me a long time to catch up and then get to the blog. Another bad day tomorrow when I go shopping. I wonder if I can employ some boy scouts or better yet girl guides to do my wrapping.

Saturday.

Before I’d gone to sleep last night Mike came through to ask whether I was OK. He was puzzled that I hadn’t spoken a few minutes before when I’d gone through to the lounge, stared at the TV then left. Perhaps he thought I was cross at the volume. The only problem with that scenario was that I hadn’t moved from my room and in fact had been wearing my headphones so hadn’t heard the TV. I had to get up and check the windows with him and just confirm the front door was locked. It won’t be the first time something odd has happened here. Many times I’m sure I’ve glanced things from the corner of my eye. Usually that beggar pinching one of my chocolates though he denies it.

I’m not quite sure exactly what time I woke up this morning but I did lie there for a couple of minutes. I slung my legs unwillingly into the frosty air at 4.35 am and I’m sure there was something small perched on top of my computer watching me. When I turned my head fully in that direction there was absolutely nothing there. I moved to turn the computer on before going to the loo.  As i got back and turned the main light on there was a piece of parchment lying on my desk with the word Contra written on it. I just couldn’t figure out what it could mean other than the Latin for ‘against’. In the bin it went and on I started with the mail.  There was quite a bit but it wasn’t unmanageable so that by 6.30 am I was up to date bar the last few minutes. I went through and gave the fish the pleasure of my company a little early. I can’t understand why Big Al never seems to appreciate it, I am the most obedient of servants. I fed them and left him glaring at the space I had last occupied as I moved towards taking my meds and some breakfast. The breakfast though would be a reward so first I went round and emptied the bin and brought them through to add to the main rubbish bin in the kitchen. I took all the household rubbish and the food waste to the appropriate bins and manoeuvred  them onto the path then added the recycling bags from inside. Anyone walking past would have had a fine sight of me in my red/black striped bathrobe, if their eyes could have penetrated the gloom that is.

Back inside I made my coffee and ate some cereal. I also put the kettle on to boil as it was coming up to time for Mike to rise. I took his coffee through just as his alarm went off for the first time so I actually caught him sitting up to turn the alarm off. His grunt of acknowledgement made me think maybe my timing had been perfect. Wrong ! He’d gone straight back to sleep.  Waiting a few extra minutes in case of delayed reaction I hovered round the lounge door. Nothing happened so I jut yelled “Don’t forget your coffee”. That got a reaction and within seconds Mike was sitting in the lounge. I however had gone to get dressed. When I had my thickest cardie on I went to join him and he started to tell me about his strange dreams. “Someone was trying to take blood without my permission and I ripped the canneloni out” he said “look, I’ve even damaged the back of my hand for real.” And he had. “Are you sure you don’t mean Canaletto?” I asked.

We eventually got out of the house for shopping at about 7.55 am and had to take the coast road this morning because parts of the A55 were under repair (what’s new?). At the Supermarket Mike got the trolley while I got some cash, I’m hoping they won’t be able to identify me with the mask on. Me, not them in the mask that is. First we picked up some gifts Mike needed before we started on the shopping.Once we’d picked up the few essentials then Mike had picked me up off the floor at the till we went for a coffee or at least Mike had a coffee and I had a cold drink, cold enough for brain freeze. It’s freezing and wet outside and I’m on cold drinks? Following that we left for Flint along the same route  we’d used earlier though in reverse naturally. No,the car was not going in reverse, the journey was. When we arrived and parked up we picked up a couple more items like some dog treats for Wilson my nephew’s dog. Eventually we went for coffee to see Ceri, Sian and Kyle on the counter in Temptations.Look, if you’re going to make up the story yourself, you don’t need me. They were working behind the counter I meant. Mike played his usual game of catch the double entendre with Ceri. There was no chance of her, or anyone else, missing them since they’re thrown so hard but she just laughs them off and agrees.

When we left there I was shocked to see it was almost midday. Mike suggested bypassing home and going straight for lunch. We needn’t eat straight away but he could pick up the t-shirts Tariq had done for him. Tariq was on the counter when we arrived and shot round to greet us properly. Moments later Angie came through and came for a kiss and a hug, I’mm just not sure how many restaurants this could happen in and I’m sure the natives are getting suspicious. Angie had Rob come and do the drinks for us and unusually Rob was less shy than usual and held a conversation with me. Maybe my bringing him round for a hug last time broke some ice. Tarq had taken the order through to Shella and Shirley so I went outside for a cigarette. Mike joined me. We were just finishing when Tariq stuck his head out to announce the meal was ready. We’d both gone for the roast dinner with honey glazed gammon and it was really nice. I had Mike’s carrots and he too my sprouts. We’d only just started when Shella came out with some stuffing she’d forgotten to put on the plated so we got to say hello.

Everything was great. Tariq came over and brought the t-shirts for Mike to see and we laughed. They were perfect. Then he was daft enough to apologise for having to spend less time talking to us recently. We both understood he was busy- or that Shella thought we led him astray. When we finished we did the ritual goodbyes only Mike was in a side room paying for the t-shirts so I was the one to get the hug and kiss from the two delicious women and not him. You can be sure I rubbed that in. We got home and put the shopping away. I really needed to have a look at the emails but I’d determined earlier I  WE would have to do some wrapping first. Unfortunately we decided to deal with the gifts for The Ivy and for Temptations so it was deciding who had what. how they would be boxed etc and it took forever before we could wrap and label them all. So, it was 4.30 before I could break away and come through. OMG hundreds, but what did I expect. I promised to go through at 6.00 pm and watch our usual quiz with Mike so I’d have to be quick. I stayed till 8.00 pm then came back through but was just overwhelmed. I went back to the lounge at 9.00 pm and declared I was watching a comedy with him. That finished at 11.00 pm. It was time to start the blog or forget it altogether this week. I felt like a truant. Once I finish this I’ll work on mail as long as I can and the rest will have to wait till tomorrow.

Mischief planned.

Mischief planned.

Now you see it, now you don't.

Now you see it, now you don’t.

 

 

Have a Great New week all.

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