Icicle Sneezes and Bothersome Toothypegs

Sunday. Mike slept late this morning. There we are, a totally ordinary non-insulting statement of fact. Unusually he came to life quite early in the first coffee and managed to chatter away quite happily without noticing my mind had left the building.  I’m certainly not on form at the moment and he could probably have called me all the names under the sun ( as usual) without me noticing. We set off a bit before lunchtime so he could take me shopping for a birthday gift for my sister-in-law. I managed to concentrate long enough to get a few little things and then we went for lunch.

Today we returned to the Blossoms so we could enjoy a proper Sunday dinner without risking me piling my own plate at a carvery. It was an excellent roast lamb dinner made even more delightful by the owner giving us some pickled red cabbage to accompany it as I dislike mint sauce. After lunch Mike ran me home and collected his mobile phone which he’d left on charge and forgotten when packing. He rang his father to see if he wanted any shopping and waved me goodbye. I’d spent so little time on the computer with the frauds in the morning I headed straight there. This afternoon just the one, I felt cheated- even though that was probably the point of the exercise for them.

You will have gathered I’m not very technically minded so I spent some time working out how to change all the poems I’ve written into a format that the friend who’s editing them for me can actually make changes. After a few false starts I managed it by rewriting them as txt files. I’m not sure but I think the clipart will have to be done separately too so that it can be added to the pages once the book has been put on Lulu. I’ll wait until another friend has created the cover before deciding how to forge ahead. I have four books out and not one has been put on the publisher sites by me. My eyes glaze over and my brain shuts down when I try.

I finished my mail and went through to the lounge for long enough to watch a little TV but I was getting bored so after tea I came back through and started the mail and this blogpost. I’d expected to finish in time to have an early night but it seems not. Just approaching midnight and I’m going for a read. BTW, is this easier to cope with in smaller paragraphs like this?

Monday. I’m pretty sure I have a cold. I’m also pretty sure that despite having put the thermostat up at about 4.30 I’m freezing to death. I swear when I sneeze the icicles from my nose are flying across the room like knives. I dealt with all the usual jobs like mail, fish, tablets and a hot coffee before 8.00 am and then got washed and dressed hoping to warm up. By 9.30 nothing had improved though the radiators are hot so I decided to go out for bread. It’s a disaster, I had to buy brown baps, the white had all gone.

Coming back in it felt warmer so I started changing a few more of the poems to txt files and was eventually able to remove my gloves. I suppose most of you would think them useless as they’re fingerless gloves but they allow me to take the change out of my pocket easily when I’m out. As I was doing my mail I had a message from a friend who told me her landlords are going to fine her for putting her rubbish bin out too early. He would brook no arguments like how did she know how early too early is when the binmen themselves have no set time for arriving. This landlord apparently can ask tenants to vacate if they receive three strikes and he’s counting this as one. It made me think that things in the US must be as bad as here since my daughter was threatened with a large fine by Cheshire CC for putting bin bags in the wrong place. That she didn’t know there was a right place and just added her bag to some others wasn’t an acceptable excuse. They employ a team to go through people’ rubbish bags and can fine them if there’s any recyclable material there. My own authority in Wales issues us with separate rubbish bags for things to be recycled. A bag for paper/cardboard, glass, tins and plastic. We have a small bin for food waste and a large wheelie bin for household waste. Our biggest problem is the bags blowing away in bad weather.

At lunchtime I had baked potato and beans and watched part of one of my favourite films, The Inn of the Sixth Happiness which was showing today. A big coincidence as I was only talking about it on Friday. Then I spied my repeat prescription form on the table that should have gone in this morning and had to go out again. This time when I came back I sat in my armchair and fell asleep during CSI NY. I had some fruit at teatime and managed to stay awake for a quiz but after Law and Order decided the only way to stay awake was to work so I came through  intending to change some more poems. No chance. Tons of mail which included an unexpected award.These may be a nuisance to some and they do take a long time to deal with but I can’t ignore someone’s kindness and so had to blog about it and make my own nominations. It’s a gesture of appreciation for the work they put into their blogs even if it’s for entertainment alone. Having done that I started on the rest of the mail.

Three hours has now passed and I’m off to get my meds which I’ve managed to forget for the last three nights. Then I’m going to do some poems come Hell or high water.As I finished my Pratchett short stories last night I’m going to choose another new book to read and try for an early night. Because of the cold I won’t go out tomorrow so poor Yvonne will have a little peace, at least from me. Reuben won’t give her any as his first tooth is breaking through.

Toothy peg coming through.

Ooh toothache.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tuesday. No sneezing this morning so probably not a cold, unless it’s in shock at the 4.10 am on the clock. I knew I’d slept in the bed last night so no surprise at finding the duvet round my legs. My trip to the loo once up though was more an automatic journey than one undertaken awake. For some reason I did it with my eyes closed. I only realised it when I got back and turned the light on before powering up the computer. One of the first messages today was from Africa…..

Good day!
I am Mrs.Bintou Sawadogo auditing and accounting department" (B.O.A)
Bank Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, I need your assistance to stand as the
next of kin to this sum of money (usd7.2) I have agreed that 40% of
this money will be for you as the beneficiary respect of the provision
of your account and service rendered, 60% will be for me

For further procedure contact me for more details,

Yours faithful,
Mrs.Bintou Sawadogo   

Do they really think I’m going to move for a share of less than $8 ? They’re getting very careless considering they have charge of so much money. There was fun to be had with comments on my last blog. There are a few cards amongst my friends and it’s a joy to read what some of you write.

I’d decided not to go out today but Yvonne told me she, Ugo and Reuben would come and bring a chippie tea after Ugo finished work. That gave me opportunity to ask her to pick up some shopping for me on the way. Most important were white baps instead of the brown ones I was forced to buy yesterday. There’s only so much I can do towards a healthy diet……and yes, I know chips don’t count but at least it’s not me buying them. I’ve spent most of the morning on the computer before going through to do lunch. On the way I found the postie has delivered my last Terry Pratchett DVD, The Colour of Magic. During lunch I watched another Sherlock Holmes ( Jeremy Brett) and then drifted off to sleep. I was out almost an hour and was only woken by the phone ringing. They didn’t leave a message so it was probably a salesman for double glazing again. It usually is if Mike’s here and he answers. I NEVER speak on the telephone.

I spent a couple more hours on messages and blogs I follow and finally have all the poems as text files and all the clipart illustrations as individual pieces ready to send off again. I’ll probably do that tomorrow though I know my friend is too busy to get to them for now. Then it was teatime but of course I couldn’t have tea as the visitor are bringing that so I watched an antiques show Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is ad then a quiz. There was a text to say Yvonne was just leaving Tesco and tea would be with me in about twenty minutes. I covered up my well gnawed fingers. Eventually Yvonne arrived carrying Reuben. Ugo was in the chippie round the corner getting the food so they’d walked on. Reuben was a delight. Beard pulling, story telling, dribbling but full of smiles and giggles. I held him until Ugo arrived and then threw him at Yvonne so I could plate up the food. Yvonne had buttered me a bap (white) in readiness while I held Reuben. She’s on a diet fad at the moment so no chips for her but she’d brought some bird food with her anyway. Reuben sat with his dad making snatches with his hand whenever food came close. He wasn’t successful and I felt really sorry for him. There’s no way Ugo is parting with food as I already know to my cost. I washed up and saw to Ugo’s pudding while Yvonne fed Reuben some yucky cauliflower cheese which he pulled faces at ( I don’t blame him) then some pineapple. It didn’t stop him looking longingly but hopelessly at Ugo’s hot chocolate fudge cake and ice cream. I took him on my knee and pulled my birthday balloons over. He had a whale of a table belting seven bells out of them and screaming with joy. The only problem is that every punch was accompanied by a large stamp of the foot which means I’m singing soprano for the rest of the week.

Back over on Yvonne’s knee to start getting ready meant tears and shouts. The same on Ugo’s knee but Yvonne commented as I picked him up again that for me he shuts up right away and no tears. Maybe one day they’ll learn to scare him as I do. They left about 8.00 pm and as usual I came straight to the bedroom to clear up any messages. There were quite a few so it’s now gone 10.0 pm and I still have a few to go. It’s a bit early to check the Euro lottery but if you hear a scream later please keep the begging letters to a minimum, I’m not refunding the postage.

Wednesday. Anotjher early start on the computer so that by 6.00am I was able to go sit in the lounge with a cuppa. No point in waking the fish up yet, it’s not another birthday. I couldn’t nod off despite trying hard and as the light started to come up about 7.00am I decided to get washed and dressed before going back on the computer. Might as well be formal for my friends and dispel the belief I spend all my time in this dressing gown- which is not in the least reminiscent of Noel Coward.   Still couldn’t be bothered to go out this morning so I did keep my furry caveman slippers on. No lottery win, hence no scream. It’s very disappointing, I need a lottery win to be able to afford the bribes to ensure a lottery win.

Lets just gloss over lunch. I can’t make potato and beans sound any more appetising that it sounded the last few times but I promise myself a small packet of bacon the next time I’m in Pauline’s. The afternoon was spent having a general tidy up before my visitors arrive at about 6.00 pm. A slight problem was that I was going to get my tea at 5.00 pm when I hard “Hello” from the hall and in walked Dil and Matt. Dil had taken the day off for his wife’s birthday and had decided to come early for his weekly thrashing. I’d just finished making drinks when Lee arrived too. I got him a glass of water cos’ that’s how mean I am and got the table and the Scrabble out. It was a close fought game with words like jo and quean making an appearance as well as aglet. Despite (my) cheating young Matt still won. He was pleased about that. Dil made some remark and had us clutching our stomachs.

Time for cards and we decided upon Nomination Whist playing 10-1 and 1-10 again. I claimed victory by four points and a judicial use of the pen I was scoring with. Being landed with that job every week has it’s advantages. Next was crazy 8’s and Matt did the scoring as I made the drinks. He tried to distract me by telling of a new card game for next week. It sounds horribly complicated but all that bothers me is whether we can have a laugh and toss insults about as usual. Despite him wielding the pen I won by  wide margin. Perhaps the aces up my sleeve helped a bit. Lee had to go. I’m so grateful he comes as it’s a very long day for him after travelling early for work and then coming here before he’s eaten. He’s an exceptional person. The rest of us decided to play Newmarket. I’m beholden to Reuben that we all started the game with 40p each from his coin jar. At one stage I was down to 22p and Dil’s pot was looking very healthy. Matt was hanging in there too when suddenly the tide turned and Matt started winning. It got so good that he had ‘snow in the kitty’ but by the time they were due to leave I was 26p up and Dil was almost skint. It didn’t stop him finding four 5p’s in his pocket to make Reuben the real winner of the night though. As always I was sorry to see them go but I settled to watch the second half of a Person of Interest I hadn’t seen and now need to see the first half too.

Time to turn off and get back to catching up on mail. Since I hadn’t been near the computer since the afternoon, my postbox held 93 when I got here. Ai Caramba ! It took me till well gone midnight to clear up and now it’s almost time to get up so Good Night all. Hugs

Thursday. I managed just over 3 hours sleep. How on earth do so many people get so many messages to me in such a short space of time? Don’t you have anything better to do? Actually things went very well and before 7.00 am I’d managed to send off all the clipart to the friend who’s going to do the cover for Reuben’s book. I shall owe a dedication to the friend who came up with the title since it was decided to drop the word Odd which I was using in ‘Odd Poems for Toddlers and Up’. Now it will probably be ‘Tall Animal Tales for Toddlers & Over’ or something similar.

Anyhoo, I went through and fed the fish, did my drugs for the week and had my morning meds before grabbing a coffee.  I was feeling tired again as I sat down at the computer and might have lain down had my phone not beeped with a message. It was Mujo suggesting a visit. I thanked them but explained about the ‘cold’ and said I don’t want to pass it on to John in his state of health. A quick flurry of messages back and forth settled on seeing them next week. I did manage the energy to get ready to go out however and trekked up to the chemist to order an item I’d forgotten and only had five days supply of. To the sandwich shop to get a ham salad roll for lunch and to Pauline’s to renew the lottery tickets. I was back home before I remembered about the pack of bacon. Why did no-one remind me?

The usual morning followed. Dealing with messages etc until 11.00 am when I decided enough was enough and I deserted my post. On went the TV and I chilled out to Murder she Wrote. At least it was one I hadn’t seen though I’ve no idea how that could have happened. I had my pre-lunch tablet followed by my bap which was heavy on the onions as requested. No more colds for me then. Shame on me I also had a small pork pie too. I stayed there with the TV on an antiques programme until I found the enthusiasm to return to the keyboard. During last night’s visit I’d had Matt look at Ancestry.co.uk for me to see how to download a Gedcom file to a memory stick. It must have stayed in my bonce as I managed to download a copy of the family tree for Yvonne. I have two more memory sticks on order so I can do one for Karen and one for Lee if he’s interested. Oh, I must pick one up to do a copy of Mike’s for him too.

At 4.00 pm I went to the lounge and saw a quiz show after which I had some toast and a tin of pineapple for tea.After washing up I thought I’d watch Law and Order but fell asleep in the chair instead till 7.30 pm. I came through to check whether I’d won something on Ebay and found Mike on skype. We had a conversation for a while  (written only) about him coming tomorrow, he’ll be late as he’s visiting his dad first. I missed the Ebay item altogether , for which I’ll blame him for distracting me. Never mind, I can always bid on a different one ( but I won’t let him off the hook that easy). I’ve since caught up on my mail and have managed to bore the pants off you all so I’m going to have a short read though I’m starting to yawn now. See you tomorrow !

Friday.This was a 4.45 day. What an idle git I hear you say but in my defence it was well gone midnight before I finished reading this morning and settled to sleep. When I got up all I could hear was the rain. I turned the computer on and left it to reach live while I nipped to the loo. The rain was annoying today whereas I can usually ignore that kind of distraction. So, headphones on and over to Youtube.  It’s quite easy to get lost in my music while I’m dealing with mail as most doesn’t require too much concentration. Be fair, I come out with such rubbish sometimes people wouldn’t know if I were distracted or not. For no other reason than it pleases me I’ve decided to add at least one song to each blog IF that song has made a difference to me that week. Today I offer you http://youtu.be/-SiGnAi845o which is the great 80’s group Simple Minds with a later offering called She’s a River. Ju and I used to play this during a certain part of the ride we took to visit MuJo.  I apologise if I mention her to anyone’s discomfort but she’s much on my mind at the moment.

By the time I’d finished the mail and I’d disentangled myself from the headphones which I was still wearing as I tried to leave the room, it was almost time for the fish. This was the day when the albino cory hid and I almost had a heart attack thinking it was dead somewhere. I’d got the top off the tank and was fighting back the advance guard of the snail army when the little beggar came out from behind the pump with slow deliberation. I slammed the lid back on and got a disgusted look from the biggest of the bullnose plecs ( only about 2 inches). I put a heavy vase on top as I’m sure the snails are enough to move the top if they make a concerted effort now. I washed my hands, took my meds ( I must cut down on the hallucogenic ones) made a coffee and went back to the computer. I refreshed the screen, sat down heavilly when I saw what came into my mail box and decided to get dressed first.

Catching up again took me till 9.30 am so I decided to nip to Pauline’s and get the bacon. I also picked up some roast pork and stuffing, some corned beef and (here logic defeats me) a pack of microwave baked potatoes. I mean, I do the bloody potatoes I buy in the microwave anyway and I get a lot more for the same money. Back at home I worked for a couple of hours then had lunch. Today I had the corned beef with my baked potato ( ordinary one) and beans. Such variety. After I’d washed up I sat in the lounge for a while. I didn’t feel guilty at nodding off and knew Mike wouldn’t catch me as he won’t be here until tonight. I managed to catch up with post again before my antiques show started then I had a little of the news when I found Law and Order was a recent repeat. At about 8.00pm I went for a shower and had just finished in there when Mike arrived gasping for his coffee and full of tales about his week. It’s been a particularly frustrating one for him it seems, he’s been waiting to talk to me and obviously it doesn’t help when I don’t speak on the phone. After forty years the relationship between Mike and I is a little symbiotic in that we both have a need for the other to talk to. It’s a double edged sword this telephone business as I can’t share with him either.

At ten o’clock he’d about exhausted his problems and I’m sure there was a degree of relief there. He’s full of hope that his son will move back to Wales with the children and he’ll be able to come home so we’re only a short distance away. I think my problems can wait for another time. So, it was time to come through and have my final catch up of the day and do the blog before having a short read. It’s early shop day tomorrow of course. If, and it’s a very big if, I can actually move someone out of his pit while the shops are still open. One minute past 12 so the weekend has started. I wish you all a Wonderful one.

Saturday. Well the mornings are startling to get a little lighter.  Just not at 4.12 am  which is when I went to the loo falling over my slippers, stubbing my toe and them cracking my kneecap. The blue tinge that appeared in the air did at least help me see a bit. One thing I did see as I passed Mike’s room s that his bedside lamp was on . He appeared to be laying across the bed face down and I was grateful for the covers because I knew which part of his anatomy was aimed at me. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…. He was fast asleep so I didn’t disturb him. I concentrated hard on my emails from late last night and this morning. So many people report the weather is giving them a battering one way or another. I finished just before Mike’s alarm clock went off for the first time. I say for the first time secure in the knowledge that Quasimodo ringing his bells wouldn’t get Mike up yet. For one thing his coffee isn’t ready.

I saw to the fish, took my meds and finally made us both a drink. Mike’s I deposited on the bedside table  letting him know it was there…”Mike, coffee’s ready” ……….           “Grunt”…….” OK then, I’ll call you later”. I took my coffee back and refreshed my screen. Just 6 messages, no problem. I finished them as Mike’s alarm went off for the second time, it rang until it hit the wall. I’d just finished my drink so I went to get washed. On my way out of the bathroom I reminded him his coffee was getting cold (it’s been there half an hour) and he actually moved so I came through and got dressed. Minutes later I head him go to the bathroom so I emptied my wastebin and took it through to the kitchen to add to the black bag from the main bin. I emptied that and put a clean bag in then did the same for the food bin. I took them outside to await collection. Then I took the recycling bags out and stuck the edges under the wheelie bin to stop them blowing away.

I came back in to wash my hands and Mike was just making his second coffee though to be fair he’d made a start at getting dressed. I’m nor sure what the dress code is for supermarket shopping but instinct tells me it may be more than a pair of shreddies (underpants) a rather ‘relaxed’ stomach and one sock. Eventually we got underway. He was driving as though trying to recycle the fumes of any car in front. When I asked him about it, he sarcastically told me he was just trying to reach the speed to get us there yesterday to shut me up. We arrived at what felt like lunchtime and toured the car park looking for a place. Well OK, we didn’t as there was no shortage, but there COULD have been. First job potatoes, done and dusted. Then flowers for Ju. Some chrysanths and a few carnations. Some outfits for Reuben and then moving to an aisle to look at gifts for Dil’s birthday Mike moved ahead of me. He was standing still so I guessed he’d found something suitable and moved towards him. As I got closer the grin appeared and broadened until it hit me, and I mean like a sledge hammer. It was like walking into a brick wall. “No warning?” I gasped. The valley of death had struck. Heaven help us if another customer came that way or worse still a member of staff. They’d evacuate the store at the very least. Then I noticed him scuttle away “I need the loo he said.” I threw my crutches in the trolley and rapidly scooted to another aisle.

From the supermarket we headed to Flint for his verbal sparring match over a coffee. Today he wolfed down a piece of tiramisu in Ju’s honour and the biscuit from both our saucers. At home again we met the bin men collecting the recycling bags. I hung back a moment to collect the empty bags to put indoors. The young lad asked me if I’d like the bags putting on my front step where it’s protected and a thanked him. He asked if I’d like them putting in a box I keep there and I thanked him. As he left I couldn’t help but wonder they don’t do that as a matter of course instead of just throwing them down anywhere to get blown away. I went in and dropped the shopping I was carrying in the kitchen, Mike was unloading the other bags. I put the shopping away and while Mike put the flowers in a vase I went to bring the rubbish bags in.

We’d been out almost 3 hours by then so I caught up on messages again while my lone arranger worked on. I decided to have a shave and thought an electric one would be quicker perhaps. I really can’t get on with electric razors at my age. Too many wrinkles (folds) in the skin where it misses so I had half electric and half wet. Time to see where he wants to go for lunch. He has a date tonight with a paramour he’s had a crush on for years so I knew he wouldn’t want much lunch. Because of that we went to the Ivy to see Tariq and Shella. Tariq showed us round the room he’s turning into a photographic studio and he has great plans for some other rooms too including, crafting and cake sales. There’s a large room to be used for private parties which will  be great if any of them want photographs on the day. I had fresh cut ham, egg and chips for lunch while Mike stuck to cheese on toast.We also had puddings and an argument ensued when Tariq said we weren’t to pay for them at which I pointed out he’s running a business and is supposed to make a profit. We had a nice chat with Shella too and I really must see if I can find a way to get her a couple of Titterton’s pies.

After we left Mike decided on a cross country tour. It was fascinating. Some fantastic houses and some brilliant views. Eventually we found ourselves by Jackson’s nurseries where we bought a couple of things before heading home. Mike had time for a shave before having to head out again. I’ve told him if he’ s not in bed by 11.00pm he’s to come home. That’s about it really. I’ve caught up on emails again this evening and decided which two pictures of Reuben will grace the page. I wish you all a fantastic week and don’t forget to be generous with the Hugs please. I think it’s National Hugs Week……………………………………………………………………………………….

The Happy Chappie.

  Hugs Everyone.

Fart City & The Lost Sock Dimension.

Sunday. It was actually quite lonely for much of the morning today. Of course there’s no verbal chatter when I’m working on my messages from what Mike calls pre-dawn. The fish don’t talk to me much either even when I feed them after a day of starvation. I wish I could say the various snores, grunts, shouts and farts emanating from Mike’s room are comforting but it’s not true, that slightly dense fog creeping it’s way over the doorway lintel is actually quite threatening. Left alone the beast emerged from it’s pit about 1o.30 , like a new born kitten it’s eyes still closed but with all the menacing size of the tiger waiting to pounce. Part way through it’s first coffee it was heard to say “I’s awake now” and you ‘re sure you can hear the claws as they are drawn and withdrawn from their sheaths. When you least expect it, a strike,  ” When was the last time you weighed yourself?” he asked. “Years ago” I responded,”why?” “Because how’re we to know if your diet is working without a weigh in.”              I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to explain it’s not exactly a diet, just an attempt to eat more healthily but if I used that word I know very well it would be countered by the mention of chocolate. I wondered whether it was too late to distract him and add laxitives to his coffee but no need, the god of bowels was on my side as the hot coffee sent him off at the run. I’d hoped to distract him but when he came back he brought up a height and comparitive weight health chart of his phone. “Right” he said,”weigh yourself.” I was not afforded privacy for that. “13 stone 2 AND a quarter pounds” he said in a very specific way. ” Take off a couple of pounds for your clothes” “Ahem, how about five pounds”I asked. Begrudgingly he agree because he was sure I’d cross the unhealthy line. “Right, five foot eleven inches and just short of 13 stone, oh” he uttered ” you’re just in healthy.” “And you?” I asked. “Erm 13 stone, and I’m 5 foot almost five inches” he had to answer honestly. “So by rights it’s YOU that should be on this DIET” I said smiling sweetly. There was a period of quiet.                                                                                                                                                                                                                       It was a little later when the mention of lunch came up that Mike decided to question me about where to go. Would I like to go the Bells where I could have a Sunday roast and (as usual, whispered under his breath) pile on the potatoes. Would I prefer the Blossoms with their Sunday roast where I just had my potatoes allocated or maybe the Ivy Emporium where I could stick to the Baked Potato diet. I said I didn’t mind, I’d be happy to eat any though perhaps the temptation of the Bells should be removed. We set off and withing a few minutes it was clear the Ivy Emporium would be the choice. Great, I like it there.  When we arrived I got out of the car and headed towards the door. I stopped to see whether Mike was behind me and had a strange sensation of sinking. My crutches had hit some wet moss on the path and were doing the splits away from my body. I was moments way from toppling when Mike’s hand grabbed my collar and drew me upright. I got my crutches back on the path and set off again. We got in and found it more crowded than usual but got a table anyway. Just settling down and the table by the log fire was vacated. He was up like a shot and I struggled to follow knocking the menu’s everywhere in the process.He came back an d picked them up and I’m sure I heard the word ‘Oaf’ somewhere. We settled at the new table and I removed my coat knocking the menu’s over. With a roll of his eyes he picked them up. The owner came to wipe the tables down from the last customer but didn’t even say hello. It took me a few seconds to realise it wasn’t him. Like him, but not him, deduction Sheerluck, a brother! Quite right the owner said as he came out. Roped in to help as it’s busy, did we fancy washing up?       There was a specials board today that included a smoked pork steak with bbq beans, jacket potato and cole slaw. It sounded ideal and we both settled on that. I had a tea and Mike his usual Americano with cold milk on the side. The meal was freshly cooked but not too long in coming and we both enjoyed it, so much so that he had apple pie to follow and I was forced into lemon meringue pie. Diet beggared yet again. Mike in pedantic mode pointed out a sign that I’d mentioned to him which said White hot………….chocolate rather than white………hot chocolate. I swear he wants to get me banned from every eating establishment possible. We drove home he dropped me off and set off for his dad’s.  I caught up on mail, went to watch TV through closed eyelids and went back to mail again. A beef and tomato sandwich for tea followed by a strawberry yoghurt and a strawberry smoothie done in the new (fantastic) toy then I watched a little of the story of the two girls who had photographs of themselves with fairies at the bottom of the garden. Harry Houdini and Arthur Conan-Doyle were taken in by the convincing pictures. Another catch up so that I can see a film at 7.00 pm. Despicable Me, I keep hearing about how good it is. Well I saw it and fair play it’s very entertaining. Rather than come through straight away I thought I’d channel hop a bit and came upon another film just starting called Kick Ass. Paint me Prude. What’s the matter with people today that they have to put foul language in the mouth of kids on film. OK, so there are kids that use it ans some kids will hear it in the playground but they’re more likely to use it when they see it on the screen used by other kids surely? It’s a poor day when our language skills are so poor we can’t find alternative words to use than the same bad language they employ. OK, rant over. I turned off pretty quickly and came through to see what new mail I had. One was a joke about the very elderly ill man lying in bed who smells his favourite ‘cookies’. He manages to make his way downstairs and gasping for breath reaches the kitchen where he sees row upon row of chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. He silently blesses his loving wife and reaches out for one only to have his knuckles rapped by a spoon. “Hands off those, they’re for the funeral” he hears. Night All.

Monday. 4.17 am. Looks like my period of lie-ins wasn’t destined to last. When I woke I almost fell over as I found I’d slept in the bed last night instead of on it. My legs didn’t move free as expected. I pressed the computer on as I passed by on the way to the loo. After proving my bladder holds the equivalent of Niagara I went back and signed in. Only 47 mail today, there’s a treat and I was done just before 7.00 am . Feeling in a very generous mood I turned the tank light on and fed the fish early this morning. I had my tabs and brought a coffee back to the bedroom. There was a sudden temptation to go back to bed but I fought it and unfortunately won. After catching up on the new post that had come in it was time to get washed and dressed. Too early to pop out yet as there are a lot of children pass close by going to school. I don’t want stories spreading that Father Christmas lives here and adults claiming they were only in my garage to give Rudolf a carrot. I wandered back through to the kitchen with my dirty mug ( oi! The one I’d been drinking from) and my eyes landed on the piles in the 2 I***ing baskets. It was time to do something. So, I sorted the bedding which had been folded coming out of the washing machine and decided the creases may stretch out when on a bed. I stored it away. Underpants and tee-shirts were treated the same way. Towels went to the airing cupboard leaving me with shirts that have to be I***ed about 10, and socks which I proceeded to pair up. True to form there are about 20 socks without a matching partner. What dimension do the ones that disappear get to? Feeling less guilty now I mopped the kitchen floor using my new Flash gel and then while it was drying went out for fresh baps and some cigs. It might save me having to leave the house tomorrow.                                                              I checked for more mail and dealt with it. I have a true friend who half my mail gets to and the other half is returned undeliverable. We’re testing out different methods to see if we can get it all through. That done I had time for a couple more poems before lunch. As usual now it was baked potato and beans to which I added ham and coleslaw. I’m not sure if I’m losing weight or the jeans made by a couple of firms are just more generous than usual but at least two pairs I can remove without unfastening. My friend suggests I may not be far off mooning at everyone. I’ll wear braces just in case, I don’t want anyone thinking there’s an eclipse. During lunch I watched an old Burt Lancaster film I think it was 10 tall men.After that I washed up and then inspected my eyelids for an hour before going back to the computer.At 5.00 pm I knocked off and had a banana for my tea with a smoothie and a yoghurt. I could have put the yoghurt in the smoothie I suppose. I had half an antique programme, a quiz, law and order then Murder she Wrote before deciding I’d had enough TV and coming back through. I’ve read a few interesting blogs and commented on some as well as answering some personal mail. I’m still early enough tonight to get the blog done before 11.00 which is a rarity so it looks like I’ll get some real reading time tonight. Nos da.

Tuesday. Up very early. I’ve decided it’s a residual effect of Oscar my alarm cat waking me. It’s probably why I get out of bed so quickly before he goes for my feet. I’m on my way out of the room before I realise he’s gone. QUICK ADVERT. Which reminds me that his book is still available for all cat lovers and sadists alike.                             http://www.amazon.co.uk/Memoirs-Superior-Lord-David-Prosser-ebook/dp/B00EJ9FNWS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390942104&sr=8-1&keywords=memoirs+of+a+superior    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sorry, but I don’t want to die starving in a garret somewhere. Available in paperback in two sizes  of print.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..As usual I dealt with my messages and found my friend’s computer had literally blown up on her. That’s going to curtail a bit of the gaming so maybe she’ll get down to writing a bit now. Mwah ha ha , I don’t do that half as well as she does which sends a chill down my spine as I’m usually in trouble of some kind. The fish got their second treat of the week and I had an early coffee after taking my tablets and sprays. As I turned to leave the kitchen I was taken ill, that’s the only possible explanation for what happened next. I opened the pantry door and got out the I***ing board then opening one of the cupboards I got out the lethal instrument itself. I recovered enough to put it down and make a run for it. By 9.00am I’d finished my mail, couldn’t think of an animal beginning with N to do a poem on so decided to get washed and dressed. I was determined not to go out anywhere today though. My cup had to be washed and doing it in the bathroom left me with the problem of no draining board and the floor of the shower didn’t seem appropriate so I walked through to the kitchen again. I’d just placed the mug down when I saw the postvan pull up and the driver headed here. YAY, parcels, good old Amazon with perfect timing. They didn’t delay me for long and Darren hadn’t stayed to make conversation except to wish me a Happy New Year. It felt like he was mocking me as I wandered back into the kitchen to wash the mug. I could avoid it no longer. I erected the board, put smelly water in the instrument and turned it on. I started on my shirts. I ended up doing 8 and putting them on hangers on the back of the door. That was about all I could manage but there were tears in my eyes as I checked the basket, my estimate of 10  yesterday was way out. There are still 8 more to go. It’s no good I shall have to call in the services of a professional I think. A neighbour uses a service which washes and presses ( I can cope with that word) everything for him. It takes on a Wednesday and delivers on a Friday. I’ll see if I can catch their van tomorrow. Trouble is it’s  MuJo day and I have no idea how early they’ll be.I’m sort of looking forward to this visit to as I made a gift basket up over the weekend with Mike, everything in it is made by a firm called Bonner’s which was Mu and Ju’s maiden name. It’s also not a common name so for some reason I thought she might enjoy this. This year I got MuJo some Christmas tea which they really enjoyed and I couldn’t find it again except in the US and with postage I’d be paying nearly £ per teabag. So, I’ve been buying some boxes of different teabags in the hope they’ll be pleased, then I had to try and find a Teabag box to put them in but they can be £30 or more so last weekend Mike an I bought a plain box which I hope will do the job. This is like OCD in that once I started I couldn’t seem to stop. Tomorrow it ends when I finally hand things over and won’t be buying more.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I had to skip the letter N since the only thing I could think of was narwhal, so next on my list was O. I’d already done P. Q was impossible so I went to R and I did poems for those two letters. I have U, X and Y left so that’ll be a no then unless I go with Yak. I have two left to do and I’ll need a couple of spares in case more are rejected. I’m still struggling with the best size to do the book, small like a ladybird book or larger like a painting book. Larger seems to be the type favoured by many of the shops I’ve been in. I’d love a hardback but think the cost will be prohibitive If I put the book on general sale. After lunch I spent some time in the lounge looking through the new Argos catalogue but saw nothing exciting. What is exciting is that I’m expecting three more parcels from Amazon. My wonderful nephew and wife who gave me the  gift vouchers for my birthday will be pleased to know I’ve put it to good use, some long handled, long bladed toenail scissors and some extra strong spring nail clippers. He may not be as pleased to learn I also ordered two memory sticks to download the family tree onto but will be asking his help in doing it. It’s a joy having a computer expert so handy. Teatime was a banana and a strawberry yoghurt again. Perhaps I shouldn’t buy in bulk. Afterwards I checked the mail till 6.00 pm and then had two hours slobbing in front of the TV. At 8.00 pm I came back through and have been listening to Motown classics on Youtube as I dealt with more mail. I had a quick skive to bring you all up to date so now I’m going to finish up with The Four Tops ‘I’m in a Different World’ and see if I can find William Bell and Judy Clay with ‘Private Number’ as I do the last of my mail and go for a read………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….Enjoy  http://youtu.be/X9uvmca5WF4     …….. I’m your Puppet. James and Bobby Purify……………………………………………………………………………………………………………  http://youtu.be/yDtTVYHOBZI     ……… I’m Doing Fine Now. The Pasadenas …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..   http://youtu.be/weGiFoK4JeI       ……… Loco in Acapulco . Four Tops ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  http://youtu.be/ubDVUQon5BE   ……… Young Gifted and Black. Bob and Marcia……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..  http://youtu.be/53u7LuGJecw …………. Let your Yeah be Yeah. The Pioneers ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  http://youtu.be/Tj96QFzOL5Y …………. Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye. The Manhattans ………………………………………………………………………………………………..    http://youtu.be/jPnZZTVp_2A …………. Heard it Through the Grapevine. Marvin Gaye …………………………………………………………………………………………………….  http://youtu.be/v78-ftcqpNw …………… Midnight Train to Georgia . Gladys Knight and the Pips………………………………………………………………………………………….

Wednesday. Oh dear. I had a poor night which resulted in me lying in bed semi with-it until gone 7.00 am. It then became a rush to get as many messages done before the fish deadline and my first coffee. I didn’t do badly since I just deleted anything that came from a bank (3) and decided not to fully read those that I opened unknowingly but which turned out to be African cons. In fairness they’re trying harder, asking me to believe I’ve already dealt with them on somebody else’s behalf and now this person wants to pay me. It’s trifling amounts below the million now and obviously not worth my time. Obviously once I’d done the fish I had to come back with my coffee to finish off. By then there were 20 more but at least they were genuine.                                                                                                                                                                                   By 9.10 am I’d cleared the last of that lot but was afraid to refresh until I’d washed and dressed. MuJo were coming and there’s no telling what time. I didn’t want to be found sitting at the computer in my dressing gown. I’d just finished dressing when the postman arrived but I was grateful he didn’t knock. Just one package today, the long handled, angled toenail scissors in a posh little pouch. I didn’t try them out. There was time to do a few more messages of the normal kind and comment on some blogs before I thought I should prepare for the visitation. Get milk in John’s cup and decide what coffee I’m giving him today, and take the cap off Muriel’s J2O so she’s able to pour when she’s ready. I’d just done that when they arrived at half ten. I handed Mu the packets of teabags and the box and also the basket of food made by Bonner’s which she thought was great. Then I went looking for two tiny gemstones which could be used as eyes on John’s wolfshead waking stick. Luckily I still have most of Ju’s craft stuff and found two small red ones. We chatted for a few minutes and at 11.15 they decided it was time to lave for lunch…….a bit earlier than expected but at least I hadn’t had breakfast. We went to the Ivy as they haven’t been there. Plenty of room at this time. I kept to my baked potato and beans while Mu had the meal I’d enjoyed on Sunday and John had the same but with chips instead of baked potato. To me that’s awkward but my friend was very obliging. It was a good size meal though John wasn’t impressed with the quantity of chips. I certainly would have been happy with any of them today. They were very impressed with the atmosphere and comfort there.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Afterwards we took a ride to Prestatyn to see the new shopping precinct we’ve heard about. I managed to find some nice clothes for Reuben in Boots but shock, horror, wasn’t especially impressed with any of the other shops. I don’t think it compares to Flint. There was however a Costa so John was able to have a breakfast sausage sandwich and I got Mu a small cake. I was glad of the points. We started for home and in half an hour we were here with John ready to drink again. I think he’s showing signs of the diabetes coming on. They left at about 4.00 pm giving me an hour on the computer. I managed everything but one I couldn’t get my head round. I had some fruit for tea and watched a quiz show till the next visitors arrived. Dil and Matt arrived about quarter to six but no Lee tonight unfortunately. Still at least he didn’t see me sobbing to win just one game of scrabble the whole evening. They ganged up on me unmercifully. Typical father and son tag team tactics. Heartbroken I was and promptly showed them the door at half nine, they both said they’d seen it though. Back in here to attack mail and frustration as it keeps stopping and asking me if I want to close down. Doesn’t it know I’m big enough to do so if I want to? Ah well, I’ve had a little break from it so now I’ll have another try. Night all.

Thursday. No visitors, no events, just a quiet day. Great. I dealt with mail very early and had seen to the fish, sorted my next weeks tablets and made a coffee by 7.00 am. Instead of going back to refresh mail I just sat in the lounge watching it become lighter outside. It wasn’t easy to start but after finishing my drink I got washed and dressed. At 9.00 am I walked to the corner shop to renew m lottery tickets and renew my hope of winning naturally. On my way back I met a neighbour who asked me whether a woman had knocked on my door last night about 9.30. It seems this unexpected visitor  had called on her and demanded details of her bank account. Had it not been for the fact her son was there it’s possible she would have caved in. Another neighbour did so last year. I don’t know whether my place was avoided because I’m male, had visitors last night or just that it’s not my turn yet. They get short shrift from me if they call here.                                                                                                                                  I don’t need to bore you with today. Mail, meals and a bit of TV about sums it up. Not at my best today so I’ll leave you with a song instead……………………………………….  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDUmT3wm-0A&list=FLykLqhnwlNz3Qz3GX3qyuXw&feature=share&index=11     …………………………………………………………… Queen- These are the Days of Our Lives.

Friday. That was an unreal night or brief interlude as it should be known. Light off to sleep bout 1.00 am and up and awake at 3.45 am. It’s as well I live alone as I was miserable as sin too. I dealt with emails, blog comments and everything and round about 6.00 am the fish thought it was their birthday. Early food. I took a shower, well you have to show willing in the New Year don’t you. Who knows, I may even indulge in the summer if it’s warm.                                                                                                                      Had my tabs, made a coffee and came back to the computer to keep up. I corrected a few poems I found where the final line had been cropped on the Jpeg copy and then did a count. YAY, all 32. I’ve now sent them off to be edited before a friend creates a cover for me. I’ll send her the poems at that time in case she wants to use any of the clipart. How does ‘Odd Animal Rhymes for Toddlers’ sound as a title. Suggestions welcome ( as long as they don’t include Close the Blog and Go).

The last one. I’m not going alphabetically.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………I kept up most of the morning as I have no idea how long I’ll be out this afternoon. The postman came with some nail clippers but disappointingly not the DVD of Terry Pratchett’s Going Postal. I’ve managed to pick up another of his from ebay too and am bidding on a third. I don’t want the cartoon ones especially.                                              Ju upset me today merely by not being here. Funny how it gets you sometimes. Lunch at midday and I don’t even need to tell you what I had any more. I need to restock on potatoes and beans tomorrow though. At just gone 1.30 pm there was the honk of a horn and I saw Ugo’s car outside. I went to the door to ask if they were coming in or was I going out. I got my coat. We drove to the Ivy  Emporium where as it happened people were coming out as we were going in. A coincidence honestly. We were the only customers just then but Gary gave us time to settle before coming to take our order. I just had a latte but they chose burger meals while I got to hold Reuben. What a little gem. no squawking at all, smiles and giggles all the way though I’m not sure he was happy at not being offered a chip butty. Gary was as nice as usual and his wife Helen came through once she’d finished cooking. She’s nice too. They deserve to succeed.                                                                                                                                                               From there we shot to Flint for a little shopping then they ran me home and came in for a cuppa. I’d bought a Galt box game of animals to fit together for Reuben’s shelf at home as he’s not old enough yet. I’ve never seen such a reaction. H tried to hold the box and was making excited noises as he touched the pictures on the box, it was almost as though he was trying to do the noises.We hugged, they left and I attacked the post that had mounted up while I was out. There was a particular post I became involved in. Spain’s decision to end abortion will affect 100,000 women a year.My friend was appalled at this, especially as it’s being done by Cardinals etc of the Church so it’s more a religious decision than political. One particular person was arguing in favour of it and coming out with the biggest load of religious claptrap I’ve seen in ages. More so to my mind because there are many non-Catholics in Spain these days and this will hit them despite Catholicism not being their religion. This action makes the wealthy go outside Spain for their operations and the poorer element are pushed to illegal back street methods. This decision is best left to the women who’s bodies they are rather than a group of religious people who supposedly have nothing to do with sex but can decide that a human life is created from the moment sperm and an egg meet.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     At 8.30 pm Mike arrived. He says it was a slow journey because of the rain. It took him two and a half hours for what most consider a three hour journey. I made coffee while he fiddled with the TV and got us two episodes of a forensic crime series and one of QI. At 11.30 I was allowed to escape to come here to do this and any emails. It’s now 12.55 am and I’m off to bed.  Hugs all.

Saturday. Mike paid me an undisclosed sum of money today not to tell you he slept through two alarms and it was all his fault we left to go shopping late. Please consider yourselves not told. Before evening drew near though, I had managed to clear my mailbox, prevent myself from busting a stitch laughing at an email purporting to be from a woman who was obviously a man telling me how much she.he regretted never having received an answer to the heartfelt outpourings of love sent previously. Believe me there haven’t been any previous messages from this one or it would have gone straight to the slush pile. I had also taken my tabs, seen to the fish and read War and Peace in the original Russian.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         We did eventually get out and arrived at the shops before they closed for the day.There wasn’t much to get as my shopping list currently reads potatoes, beans, oh and milk. It was done so quickly that we had time for breakfast and I am forced to confess ( before he tells you) that it wasn’t perhaps quite as healthy as baked potato and beans. There was a small detour before going home to unpack so that someone nameless could banter with Ceri over the Coffee, sounds like a line from a song. Ceri asked if I was OK as I was very quiet. Mike had said something similar but it’s probably just because I can’t get a word in edgeways. We also had a look round the local shops for a cross cut shredder as Mike had burned out the motor on his last one.                                                                                                                                                                                   At home the shopping was put away and the post opened to reveal the two films of Terry Pratchett books I ordered. I was just going to start on emails when Mike announced a trip to Rhyl might find the shredder so it was coat on time again. The weather was foul, really cold and damp up to the kneecaps. It takes forty minutes to get there, we park in the open on the roof of the shopping precinct a target for incontinent seagulls though in this rain it was more likely to be albatrosses as anything smaller was sheltering. We hit a stationers and found just the thing, only two let and the offer ending on Monday. Bright spark said he’d wait and see if they had one left in the branch near his home to save him carrying it. The car is about 200 yards away. Instead we have a short wander round the town centre in the pouring rain, get in the car and leave. We’re wet, have driven a fair way and have left without anything. On the way back we stopped at the Ivy for a drink. If Gary thought I was bad subjecting him to three visits in a week he now knows it for sure since I not only took MuJo once but now I’ve taken Mike again, though  to be absolutely correct, technically he took me so it’s his fault.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Back at home once again I made tea though I co-opted Mike into buttering the bread and then we settled in front of the TV for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and then The Tomorrow People. Mike started complaining of a vicious headache and Is suggested he went to bed to watch Vera with the light off and I came through here to catch up on my mail. I brought my mobile through since I’d forgotten to take it out today and found I had a message. My niece let me know that Amy has died now. Just Penny and Priya left of our happy bunch. It’ s really sad………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Holiday clothes.,

At the Ivy with Pops.