Tag Archives: breakthrough pain

That Was the Week that Was

Normally I’d post on a Wednesday to let you know how the horse riding has gone, and how the smile goes from horse to Ju to me. This week hasn’t been like that.

On Tuesday night Ju started to feel some breakthrough pain. She’d taken her normal tablets  and then her emergency ones without getting any ease. By 11.00pm she was really hurting. There was no choice but to call the out of hours service and get the Marie Curie Nurses. Because of the stupidity of our system they had quite a distance to cover from another Shire and arrived at 12.15am. By 12.20 am she’d had an injection of morphine and I hoped she’d sleep. The nurses left about 1.00am and as Ju seemed to be resting I went to bed. By 2.00 am she was in obvious distress again and was now being sick as well,  so it was back on to the service. Ju hates being sick and is quite prepared to stop fighting when that happens. The first team were out on another job so they’d send our local team out. Local? So why send those from far away first time round? We had a phone call back saying they’d leave as soon as the’d spoken to a doctor about the dosage Ju was allowed. I was able to tell them the dosage and frequency so they set off.

By 2.30 am the second dose of morphine had been administered but we were worried about the sickness. The Marie Curie Nurses said they asked the doctor about that too and he was coming. He arrived and gave her an injection of something to get rid of the nausea. He was obviously a little annoyed he couldn’t get round the bed easily because of Ju’s crafting stuff and suggested I might like to clear it. I bit my tongue and said I’d see when someone could do it. I didn’t think gone 3.00 am was a good time to start and he did’t need access there and then.I was probably a little tired. Anyhoo, by 4.00am they’d all gone so I made myself a coffee and sat watching Ju for a while while she slept.

I decided to get my head down about 5.00 am. I managed to fall asleep until 7.50 am when it was time to get up and see to the girls. I gave them a chocolate drop each and then feeling very guilty walked round apologising that ‘Mummy’ wouldn’t be getting them out to play today. I’m sure there were some glares thrown at me so I passed them all a Shreddie with a little milk on. Time to turn the fish on, I’ll rephrase that in case you think I’m wearing my fishnet stockings, time to turn the lights on the fish tank. Then it’s my meds and a coffee. I took a cup of tea through to Ju and she was awake but sore and tired. Time to phone and cancel riding for today. She’s been invited on one on Sunday again so I reckon it’s too early to cancel that. Wednesday her normal meds seemed to hold her but she stayed in bed for the day holding court with one visitor after another and gossiping with Yvonne who’d come to look after her precious Mum.

Thursday. Ju seemed to have no overnight problems and we both got some rest. I took her tea through and suggested she might like to get up for a while so I could change her bedding. She sat in the lounge talking to the girls but didn’t take them out again. I was in and out answering emails or nipping to the shops for a paper and some lunch. It was late morning I saw her pick up the phone and she rand the doctors to ask for a visit. I was puzzled as she hadn’t complained, but she said the pain was back. He came but persuaded her to stick to the tablets for the day and if things hadn’t improved by 5.00pm to phone him again. That was kind, and she didn’t need to. She struggled a bit overnight but no nurses were called out.

Friday. For some reason I was up answering emails at 4.30 am today. I didn’t go through to the lounge until 8.00pm and was shocked to see at least 4 inches of snow on the ground. Where the heck did tht come from? A rhetorical question honestly. And it was still snowing. I gave the girls a chocolate drop or maybe gave one girl 4 chocolate drops since I couldn’t actually look them in the eye so guilty did I feel. Ju and I normally shop early on a Friday so they don’t get their playtime but they’ve missed so much this week. I took a cuppa through and Ju wasn’t looking well. I had my meds, got a coffee and cancelled the Sunday ride. Her MacMillan Nurse arrived and gave her a morphine injection with an anti nausea one. Fair play she did balance it out, one in each arm. Then she left for a while. I went to the shops for my Euro Lottery ticket which is going to make me filthy rich tonight- no, dammit, I can afford soap. There was no way I could do my shopping with the snow and with Ju ill. The paper says 36 hours of this weather with maybe 12″ of snow. Oh Joy !

Ju had some toast for lunch and another cup of tea, that’s all I could get her to try. Then the district nurses arrived. There are always two so I’m sure one comes to hold the handbags. In all honesty they’re great. They brought a driver to attach to Ju so she gets a continuous feed of morphine to kill the pain. Most of the afternoon it seems to have been working but I know when they come to change it tomorrow Ju or I will have to tell them the pain had broken through by this evening. So, currently I haven’t been shopping so haven’t been able to get to the bank. Even If I had cash there’s nothing to buy round here for dinner. We’ll be sharing the rat’s food for the weekend unless a friend can take me shopping tomorrow or I can find a taxi willing to take me to a cash machine first. Of course once I tell them I’ve won 80m on the lottery they’ll be keen to help won’t they? I’m hoping against hope that Ju will at least be able to get out of bed tomorrow even if she can’t go out.( and do my shopping for me). Maybe she can allow the girls half an hour out of their cage. But most of all I want her free of this pain and fighting again beside me.I HATE this Cancer.


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Shopping and the little bleeder.

Friday was a strange day. Invariably it’s the day we do our weekly shopping, that’;s 20 tins of Sprite for Julia and a bag of crisps for me. Because of my aversion to crowds or actually anyone who would speak to me, we usually go very early.( Like 7.30 am so we”re coming out as others are going in.) Unfortunately this Friday morning Lady J showed no interest in getting out of bed. I put her tea down on the bedside table, wafted the steam towards her and pleaded, threatened and cajoled before finally she just turned over and started gently snoring again. There were one or two groans there too.

At 8.30 I tried again and offered to make her a fresh cuppa.  Since it was too late for shopping before I had to go for a blood test Ju realised she could give the girls half an hour out of the cage. I went to give them a treat as she got out of bed. She was tired and was suffering breakthrough pain, like that’s an excuse to make me miss my shopping. She gave the girls their time and I gave them some Shreddies for breakfast. 3 each for Amy and Priya and 2 each for Penny and Bernie. Yet Bernie is built like a brick outhouse while Amy is fairly petite. Funny isn’t it? No, oh well.

My blood test was booked for 9.50 am so after getting the girls back in their cage Lady J got dressed and ran me up there. I wish she’d got the car out first. Boom Boom. The clinic was running 20 minutes late which was a problem as we had to be home by a quarter past again. At quarter past I was called. It didn’t take long as I’m often called a little bleeder. Back home we flew ready for a wheelchair to be delivered and a visit from the district nurse to see about the medications. There was no sign of either so it was a case of waiting. The wheelchair arrived at 11.30 just as the district nurse turned up. I did my usual fade into the wallpaper and left them to talk. To be fair I listen in since Ju’s memory is atrocious.

12.15 and the district nurse left. Ju asked about lunch and I suggested we ate at the supermarket so I could leave her with a coffee after eating while I shopped. That worked pretty well and I enjoyed bangers and mash. Then as Ju had a coffee I took my courage in both hands and hit the shop floor. Someone helped me up and I nodded at them and pushed the trolley along the aisles playing dodgems with all the shoppers. Ju was supposed to meet me at the checkouts to help me pack and to do my talking but she was well away reading her newspaper when I passed jut out of earshot. Lacking a megaphone to rouse her I had to trust to luck. My luck was in. I had a lovely checkout lady who chatted away to me without expecting me to answer at ll other than to shake my head vigorously when she asked if I needed bags. Ju woke up just before we finished and arrived in time to lift the last bag into the trolley. Revenge was due. I paid with a smile but the woman said she preferred cash please so I coughed up and she said that was no better. Cash or card only. I paid cash and as we were walking out I told Ju I needed a wee and I’d catch her up. I did, but not until she’s loaded the car and returned the trolley. We went home, unpacked and the rest of the day was fine.

Saturday morning I decided Ju could have a lie in. I was going to make it ten minutes but didn’t want to spoil her so I made it five. Yet again she didn’t want to get up. She grimaced a lot when I woke her so I hid behind the bedroom door out of sight and I’m sure it made things better. But, she did have to go to sleep again. Yes, it’s the breakthrough pain and it’s going to mean an increase in the morphine next week unless it gets too bad before then.

When she did get up she asked for help in cleaning the base of the girls cage where they’ve torn newspaper up to make beds. We lifted the whole cage to the floor and then I enticed them to the top with a peanut. As they were up there grovelling we lifted the cage off the base and placed it on the floor. The girls had a play on the settee and helped me eat my Shreddies and watched me take the first of my two lots of diabetic tabs while Ju cleaned the base. That done, we put them back in the cage, transferred it onto the base and put the whole thing back on it;s little table again. We both got dressed and headed out to pick up some fresh bread and also meet Yvonne who was visiting us but breaking her journey to meet us at the local shops. She gave Ju her first outing in the wheelchair which meant I could slip things in the basket without being seen. Then it was over to the cafe for a Latte following which it was a quick dash home to drop the bags and straight out to collect Ju’s brother who was coming to see us.  We went and had lunch which in my case included sausages again and I took the second lot of my twice a day- with meals- diabetic tablets.

At a slightly more relaxed pace we headed home after lunch. Ju talked to her brother while Yvonne and I had a look at travel systems for babies and cot bumpers on the net. I’m a big fan of net prices compared to shops for things like that. £250.00 for German engineered compared to £500.00 from a shop and knocked up last night from some spare aluminium  they had lying around. She was impressed. She left at about 3.30 and I set to on my emails. There were so many, I had to leave some in sacks at the door.

Terry ( Ju’s brother) left just before 5.00 and Ju walked him to the bus-stop. I’d had enough by now and needed a break so I decided to make myself some toast for tea.  I made Ju a cuppa ready for her return and sat down with my toast to see the Wales-England game on TV.  I was so excited I had the third lot of diabetic tabs out of the two lots I take a day. Oops ! Julia arrived back and I turned the game over at 9-3 to Wales. Not a good idea to carry on watching in case I jinx them. It was only later that evening a Welshman living in Thailand told me the final score. I’m heartbroken for the losers of course but 30- 3 WOW !! Well done Cymru.

Sunday. This morning I’m tired. I slept fitfully on the bed last night after having a late finish with my messages. I start again at 5.30 and work till 8.00 when I go and wake Ju. Cup of tea taken care of and some cereal in a bowl for the girls we get them out to play and I return to my emails. Damn, I keep nodding off while I’m writing and I doubt my friends will want the gobbledegook I’m capable of sending when I’m like this. Just a few more perhaps. Zzzzzzzzz Damnation.  ” Sweetie, are you getting dressed before we go” a voice crept into my mind. “Uhuh” was about the best I could manage as I headed for my clothes.

Ju had an excellent hours ride at the stables and I had an excellent hours sleep in the car. She’s come out, talking about going in for endurance riding and is  fairly bouncing with joy though some pain it as to be said. I’m very happy for her. It’s a quick meal out on the way home as our nephew and his delightful fiance are visiting sometime this afternoon. With luck I’ll be able to do some mail before they get here.


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