Tag Archives: chippie

Suffering from the Wind & A Mouthful of Tea.

Sunday 15th November.
After finishing the mail last night, I went to bed and enjoyed a read until 01.10 am. There’s been a gale howling all night long. I was up at 4.18 am and was surprised after signing on to get a skype from MuJo as they’d been up all night with the storm. Sometimes it gets quite concentrated where they are. I started on the mail which was gentle enough at that time then as 5.00 am rolled round I went for my meds and some breakfast. I brought a coffee back with me.  When I got back all the Daily reports had been released to me and the mail outstanding was at 122. I must have done about 50  I thought before stopping for breakfast.                                                                                                          I remember seeing 8.15 am when I was working.All of a sudden I was coming awake and it was 9.25 am. Oops. I went through but Mike was still sleeping. I put the kettle on anyway. He got up at 10.10 am. I went through and joined him and also let Joey out of his cage. The storm was still blowing outside.

I managed to nod off in my chair for a short time too. I was tired but with lunchtime approaching I went to get dressed. Mike did the same. He said it was time for a drink as I was saying it was almost time to decide on lunch. He asked for bacon sandwiches at home instead of going out. I was happy to agree. While I  did the bacon, Mike cut and buttered the baps. I put a feel-good Christmas film on the TV and we ate.                                                                                                                                                                                                           We decided not to go out at all today but I suggested Mike went home early so he could travel while it was still light enough to see branches brought down by the fierceness of the wind. For once he agreed with me. So  , at 3.30 pm he gathered his stuff and said goodbye. As soon as he left I said my goodbye’s to Joey and came through to work. By that stage of the day It was already over 300 pieces of  post, not counting what I’d already done. I ploughed in and worked till 5.30 pm when I went in to give Joey a surprise and turn the light on. I had a piece of strawberry and rhubarb tart for my tea and watched a little TV.

At 7.00 pm I went back through to work and to see how my bid was doing on a snow suit for the baby to be. In the end I could have bought a baby for less so I searched for a couple more to bid on. Next one 8.30 pm. I caught up on mail and at 8.05 pm went back through to the lounge and my flight instructor. I’m apparently spending too much time in front of the computer,I know my rear end would agree.                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The TV turned on alright but I was a little puzzled when it wouldn’t turn to the channel I wanted. I sat on my chair like a lemon trying to find the right position where it would work. It wouldn’t. It kept skipping between a channel showing a fishing competition between 3 men somewhere in Africa and The Antiques Roadhow ( not to be confused with the Road Trip). I might have lived in peace with one or other selection but my head was close to exploding when it would change channel in the middle of a sentence I wanted to hear the end of. I think I’m haunted. I even changed batteries in the remote in case that was the problem. Still,it forced me out of the lounge earlier than it would have. No doubt Joey will complain he was locked in and the light turned off but as I’ve already warned you, he exaggerates.

I was back in time to bid on a snowsuit for a baby which I won. I was also in time to put as bid on a Le Creuset casserole dish that I didn’t mind if I won or not. Mainly because I hadn’t 100% convinced myself it was exactly what the person wanted. I won it anyway so that rounded my night off nicely. I changed my  email address with ebay and then remembered to do it with paypal too.

Monday 16th November.

Last night I got up to date with mail, had a read and still managed to get the light out at midnight. Granted the light was only out a minute before I remembered I hadn’t taken my meds. The terrible thought that maybe it could have me standing naked in the rain beating my chest as a coachload of returning female bingo players passed by, made me get up and take them.  I’m not sure what time I eventually got to sleep but I’m sure it wasn’t long.                                                                                                                                     It was 3.53 am when I got up. I would normally be glad of the chance to attack my post as I should have been going to Chester today . Yvonne and Reuben are booked for their flu jabs tomorrow when I would normally go. However I’m not going because poor little Roobs isn’t well. He seems to have a chest infection and a bad cough. He seems prone to things like this.It obviously runs in the family though I’ve been fine recently ( touch wood). So, I have all day to keep the mail in check now.

After a flying visit to the loo I came back and logged on to the computer. At that time there were only 20 emails which took no time at all. By 5.30 am I  was clear even with another batch of emails in. At that point I decided to go for breakfast and to take my morning meds. I was back by 6.10 m and mail was still a steady trickle until 7.00 am today, then it was an avalanche. It came, it came and it came. I remember a point where I read 83 so I worked on about 6 of them and checked,it was now 97. The more I did the more that came. At about 9.00 am I realised I’d made real headway and had just 26 again. As I checked them I found they were responses to the ones I’d already done and I was just creating an email echo. No  matter what I did something would come back at me.                                                                                                                                                  It was 9.55 am when I was able to go through to release Joey, see, it’s all your fault he complains not mine. As a treat I hung a new honey seed ring in his cage.He’s given up on the main one since he found the fruit in it. He’ll have scurvy soon if he’s not careful. I quickly swept the floor around his cage to get rid of the seed husks and then turned on the TV for Homes Under the Hammer.

I had time to return to work at 11.00 am and play catch up but my warden came at 11.30 am and was here chatting for half an hour. It’s great, some weeks she’s the only company I have bar Joey and he bullies me if I stay with him too much. After she’d gone I made lunch, watched Bargain Hunt then nodded off for an hour. I had to play a lot of catch up after that to make up for the sleep.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I didn’t return to the lounge until 5.15 pm when the quizzes started. I was there until 6.30 pm then legged it before Come Dancing or whatever came on. Again I worked until 8.00 pm when I went to watch two DIY SOS’s. I have to be reminded of the goodness still in the World and what people are capable of.                                                                 At 10.00 pm I said goodnight to Joey, turned everything off and came back through to do the blog and any remaining mail.

A cough won't keep me down.

A cough won’t keep me down.

When Mum asked if I wanted a penguin I thought she meant the chocolate biscuit.

When Mum asked if I wanted a penguin I thought she meant the chocolate biscuit.

Tuesday 17th November.

I managed an early night last night. Even though I read quite a bit I was still  able to turn the light out at midnight.  I had a small comfort problem which took a while to adjust to but I did get to sleep….until 1.00 am. After a visit to  the loo  I went to sleep the rest of the night in my chair. I woke at 3.03 am. I was still tired but that was the sleep for that part.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        It was time to log onto the computer. I was quite surprised just how much mail had accrued in gmail. It took until almost 4.30 am to complete. It seemed a good time to try and get another 40 winks so I lay on the bed, shut my eyes and was away. The next time I woke felt much better, it was 5.42 am. Before starting work I decided to go for my meds but didn’t want breakfast this morning. I brought a coffee back to face the fray.                                                                                                                                                                          It started well enough. Just ten messages on screen. As I worked my way through them the numbers increased. I had done a lot and saw the balance was 68 to go. I did a load more and the balance was now 66, and so it went on. The last one to be done at 8.36 am when the squawked demands of Joey sent me through to open the cage door. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t come out yet as it was still dark and overcast but he’d won his first battle of the day just getting me there to  talk to him.

I stayed with him a while and then at 8.50 am I got ready to go out. I started out fully intending to get on the bus but once outside started diverting myself towards Pauline’s instead. I gave myself a massive mental kick and moved back towards the bus stop. I stood far enough away that no-one in the queue would talk to me but I didn’t see a face I recognised anyway. When the bus arrived I let everyone get on so I had chance to change my mind at the last minute, but I did make it. In town I intended letting everyone get off and go about their business but someone kindly stopped and indicated that I could go first which was really nice. I got off at the best speed I could manage and walked towards LIDL.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         A quick waltz round the shop brought me a few things I could use for Christmas and I was able to get the weekly special offer brochure too. I left and started taking a slow walk down the High Street. The sky was looking grim but the rain held off. Half way down the street is a passage between two buildings. I went through there , through the library car park and into the new Home Bargains. I spent a full half hour in there and got a few nice things which will be perfect as stocking gifts. I felt much happier knowing I’d done it , scared and proud that I’d managed a trip alone albeit a short one and I’d stayed clear of people.

Heading back up the street I was thirsty. There was a little cafe with no-one in. I think I know why there was no-one in. I asked for a tea. It was a cup rather than a mug but I could live with that. First two tries though the man held the cup under the machine and pressed a button for water which came from another nozzle  from where the cup was. Third time lucky ( and he was bloody lucky not to have scalded himself) and he got water into the cup. It was a small cup and he only half filled it. He dropped a tea bag in the water, gave it a few stirs with a spoon took the tea bag out which now included some of my water, added milk (without asking) and charged me £1. It was as well I  had some saccharine with me as they had none. There was just about a mouthful in the cup ( now now, no need to be rude to me) which was gone almost as soon as I reached the table. Oh yes, I’m on crutches and carrying two bags but there was no offer to carry my tea over for me. There were some nicely handcrafted things in the shop but I didn’t stop to really look at them as I didn’t feel like buying there again.

I walked slowly to the bus stop and didn’t have too long to wait before one came. Ten minutes later I was walking into Pauline’s and picking up my TV mag, some micro chips and some chips with a certain added subject that some think I over-indulge in.  Back at home it was 11.00 am and I stood unpacking the shopping as I talked to Joey. He seemed quiet this morning. I left to do 45 minutes on the post before going back to do lunch. I can’t mention what I had but the two baps I had with it from LIDL’s fresh bread range were beautiful.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Bargain Hunt was on as I ate and Joey didn’t make a sound. Afterwards I closed my eyes in the chair and didn’t hear a peep from him. I slept till 1.55 pm and then had to return to work. I was away until 5.15 pm and expected a fuss when I got back to the lounge. Not a sound though he’s still moving around as usual. I had the last of the strawberry and rhubarb tart for my tea and just sat talking to him. I was there until 9.00 pm and though he came out to sit on the mirror he was quiet all evening. I really must be in the dog house. Just as well I’m in all day tomorrow.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                At 9.00 pm I took my meds, turned the TV off and said goodnight to Joey. I left the lounge door open so I could hear him but he’s still been quiet. I had a good catch up on mail then did the blog. It will be an 11.30 pm bed night I think.

Dick Turpin's ride to York.

Dick Turpin’s ride to York.

Black Bess, the faithful steed.

Black Bess, the faithful steed.

Wednesday 18th November.

I achieved my 11.30 pm bed more or less. I read till 12.30 pm, turned my light off and settled down. I woke up at 1.21 m thinking it was later, once I’d focused I suggested Porcinus ( for it could only be he from the laugh) go away and procreate. I didn’t even bother swinging my legs out of bed I just went back to sleep.                                                   I woke again and my bladder suggested I get up, so I did. It felt as though it was light outside as I moved but on reaching the bathroom I could tell it was not. I could also tell from the fresh laughter that Somnos was on the case and I was now wide awake. It was now just 2.01 am.                                                                                                                                I refused to show any disappointment or anger so I just signed onto the computer and started on the mail. By 3.15 am I couldn’t stop myself yawning and as I  got up to date on the mail decided to go sit in my chair in the lounge and see if I could sneak a little more sleep in. I couldn’t but at least I couldn’t sense the presence of the gods. By 3.30 am I was back at work which was still trickling in. At 4.15 am I lay down on my bed, pleased the mail box was empty. I closed my eyes and woke up at 5.00 am refreshed.  Time for my meds and some breakfast, Rice Krispies today since I don’t want to hide another tub of butter in my moustache.

I return complete with coffee at 5.35 am and pick off the odd email whilst waiting for the onslought of the daily notifications. It started at 6.05 am and grew and grew. I was thinking I’d never leave this room today but of course I did the moment Homes Under the Hammer was due on. That was the time Joey decided I was worth talking to at last.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       At 11.00 am I came back and started again. This time I made real progress and cleared the last one at 11.55 am in time to do lunch. One noticeable thing was that there had been no sign of the postman up to that time but I suppose I could have missed him as the weather was foul out there and for a while I was concentrating on the TV screen to try and hear what was being said. I just got yup to walk to the kitchen when there was a knock at the door which made me jump about three feet in the air. The delivery of some green baize to cover the card table.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Lunch was pleasant and uneventful. I left a lot but it was meant to feed two so that was expected.  I watched Bargain Hunt and saw it to the end but did manage to nod off in the chair after that. Even half an hour perks you up  so I was twice as perky as that. I came back through to leave feedback and to deal with more mail. I’m glad some parts of the world must be asleep now. I’ve decided that I should ask that people who want to write do so between 12.00 and 12.02 am BST and if they can’t manage that not to bother. I’m sure I’d cope fine then.

At 5.00 pm I went back to the lounge. Dil had sent a text to say he was running late and would be there between 5.00 – 5.15 pm. I prepared his cup and put the TV on ready for our quiz. He was there in time for the start. We watched that and then out came the games table and the Yahtzee. In the first game Dil won three on the trot and I won the next three. There was no chance he’d want to leave it a draw so we started a new game.  One of the gods must have felt they owed me a favour as I won the first 5 of the 6 games and I’d had Yahtzees in 4 of the games, one even having 4 Yahtzee and a score of over 600. Dil tore up the score sheets at the end smaller than confetti so no-one could see them.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             We moved on to Trivial Pursuit. We both managed to get 5 of our segments pretty quickly but struggled to get the last. I achieved it first then Dil a few goes later. Then it was a struggle to land in the middle though when I did he asked me a sports question knowing I’d blow it. As it was approaching his time to go, when he reached the middle I asked a  reasonable question which he answered. At least now I was sure he wouldn’t kick a cat on the way out now. Honours more or less even again.                                              I had a quick tidy up then washed the pots. I took my evening meds and went through to close Joey’s cage door and wish him goodnight. It was time to come through and catch up on my mail and write the blog. No problem, I reckon another 11.30 pm bedtime but I’m not sure I’ll read tonight.

I'll take a running jump I think.

I’ll take a running jump I think.

You watching Mum in case I whiz past?

You watching Mum in case I whiz past?

Thursday 19th November.

I slept until 4.07 am today from about 12.30 am. Not too shabby for a change. My snoring obviously didn’t disturb Joey and his occasional chirp didn’t disturb me. Though I must add that it’s funny, the past twice I’ve slept in my chair,Joey hasn’t come out of his cage early on but has stayed in a little fluff ball, head down, asleep. I paid my morning visit to the Piddle Palace and then came through to the bedroom to sign on. As with most days there was plenty of your post to keep me going but today I only did half so I could break off at 5.00 am for meds and breakfast. Cornflakes today, heck I’m so health conscious.                                                                                                                           After that I made a coffee to bring back and start the second half. A few more had trickles in but I wasn’t worried. I was making some progress when at 6.10 am the deluge started. Over 100 messages in about five minutes. I started working in earnest ( a little village in the back of beyond) but by the time I finished at 8.40 am I was workimg on answers to the ones I’d just done.

I went through to the lounge to open the cage door for Joey. He looked at me as if to say ” Shhhh, budgie sleeping” then curled his head back under his wing and ignored me. I sat down and had a cigarette trying not to disturb him. As soon as the cigarette was out I went to put my shoes on and my coat then headed for Pauline’s. I needed bread and milk as well as the lottery tickets. I left a note on the door just in case any parcels came while I was out. They didn’t.                                                                                              Back at home I unpacked in the kitchen. I told Joey I’d be back in time to watch TV with him then came through to answer the next set of mail. My wonderful friend in Australia had written her usual comic responses to my emails to  her. That kept me going for a while. In fact just long enough for ‘Homes’ to start.                                                      After my programme was over I was well behaved and returned to work without complaint. No audible ones anyway. I knew I had only to work for three quarters of an hour and I’d be off again, this time to prepare lunch. I peeled sweet potatoes, set the sausages going on the grill (or under it if you prefer) and opened a tin of veg. In the very last minute I made myself some onion gravy and I was set. It was wonderful.

I came back through at 1.00 pm with the intention of staying here until 5.15 pm but was rewarded when my hard work meant an empty box at 4.45 pm instead so I got some Flog It. The only time I made appearance in front of my desk was from 6.00 – 6.30 pm because after that I had an antique show, The Big Bang Theory and The Last Kingdom. Once 10.00 pm and I stopped swinging my seax (no that’s not a dirty word) at the Danes (sorry Birgit, you know I love you) I came back to my room. I didn’t know what time Mike would arrive tonight so there was no point in staying up. I might as well work till he got here which as it happened was 10.30 pm. I made his coffee  and had a quickish chat with him before coming back to finish off the right side of midnight.

Oh, there was one thing I wanted to share with you all tonight…

Five weeks tomorrow is Christmas Day !!!! But less than that when you get to read it. he he

Five weeks tomorrow is Christmas Day !!!! But less than that when you get to read it. he he

Advert. Stuck for gift ideas?  Ebay is full of them. I was looking for a personalised box the other day and came across this gem

A brilliant personalised gift.

A brilliant personalised gift.   Number  371469034697

Filled with a variety of teabags or maybe sweets this could be a very special gift. Check the size of the sections first as there are others specifically for teabags.                              P.S. I understand you don’t have to have a friend called Samantha, he he.

Friday 20th November.

Lights out about 12.40 am, I was ready to sleep. Up again at 2.21 am but not ready to wake. I nipped to the loo and saw Mike was still on his tablet. It seems like me he’d been to sleep and the woken. He couldn’t get back to sleep though and was waiting for sleep to come and drop  the tablet from his hangs. After my loo  visit I went back to my room and took up the book again for a short while, about a cigarette’s worth. I turned the light off again and slept. Up again at 3.33 am  but this time I knew I was awake. I went through to check on Mike and at last he’d fallen asleep again. Great, I couldn’t cope with the two of us wandering around and bumping into each other. I may be awake but I’m not sure I’m sociable.

I opened my email on the computer and there were enough to keep me going until 4.51 am. I had a cigarette then went through to the kitchen to take my meds and to prepare my pillboxes for next week. That’s my boxes for pills and not machine gun nests. I returned coffee in hand about 6.40 am and just took my time with the emails that trickled in. At 6.10 am the flood started when all the daily notifications from WordPress posts were sent to me.. As I worked I watched the numbers jump,23, 49, 67, 93 until finally they started responding to my work and coming down. It was 9.20 am before I managed to get clear and release Joey from his confinement. ( no , he wasn’t having a baby).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           After a major struggle with his alarm clock and with me bringing him coffee, Mike got up around the same time as I went through to the lounge and joined me. He was really pushing his luck as he had an appointment in Manchester at 11.30 am and he was still sitting with me at 9.55 am. I’m not sure how he did it but he left the house at 10.05 am. He has a turn of speed Superman would be proud of but it’s one I’ll never see on a Saturday morning.                                                                                                                                         After he’d gone I watched Homes Under the Hammer with Joey doing a running commentary in fluent Budgie. Then I came back to my room and started catching up again.

I wasn’t clear until 12.05 pm and had to scoot to get my lunch.                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Once lunch was over I fully intended returning to work straight away but somehow I just ended up dreaming about it. I know you’ll find it hard to believe that I could fall asleep in the middle of the day ( cough) but it just happened. If it’s of any comfort I missed the auction part of Bargain Hunt again.                                                                                    The long awaited return didn’t happen until 1.50 pm so to make up for it I did without my early entertainment and waited until my quiz at 5.15 pm. At 6.00 pm when I could have worked I got hooked on a programme about King Arthur which was interesting and left a lot of questions at 7.00 pm it was the Celebrity Antique Road Trip and Mike returned halfway through it and then at 8.00 pm was Mastermind. Such hard work all this viewing.                                                                                                                                        At 8.30 pm I went for a shower and Mike washed my hair for me to save me putting my arms above my head. We both know I’m in a delicate condition today. Then I went back to the lounge, made a sandwich for us and watched Michael Portillo’s train ride through Germany until 1.00 pm when I came back to work. I was pretty sure I’d be in bed before midnight at that time but Mike came and did my legs afterwards and now I’m not so sure. There was a fair bit of post.Still, if you all read a bit faster than I type maybe I’ll make it yet.

Saturday 21st November.

Lights out 12.30 am. Lights on 2.10 am I was having doubts about Somnos’s parentage. After another try I gave up and went to sit in the lounge. I smoked a cigarette for the heat and light as it was freezing last night. I’d have snuggled up to Joey but he was having none of it. I did drop off again and woke at 4.50 am. Now I knew for sure that Somnos worked behind a bar. Saturday, the day I shop early and he allows me to sleep late. I had to have breakfast , take my meds, do all the bins and recycling bags and then try to get Mike up at 6.30 am as well as try to get some mail done. It’s not like the small god doesn’t know that I have a flood of mail at 6.10 am. I don’t know where or when but there will be a reckoning. It’s not even like I’ve refused him any favours recently, mind you, I haven’t done him any either.

I’ll make it easy this week and just tell you the score with Mike was 1C -3A  I would have called him more than once but I was busy. Anyway to be honest, taking first the food waste and main rubbish out and then the recycling bags ensured blasts of cold air right into his bedroom which I’m sure worked better than a call. The three alarms were all it took then. I left him alone while I tried to shift some post but he got dressed and presented himself ready to go out at 7.25 am.                                                                        I had only to throw my coat on and add a dashing flat cap and we were away. Though there were cars with snow on there was no snow on the roads. We got to the supermarket safely. Tatws first and then flowers. I was ready to leave then but Mike suggested some food first. I went to the chocolate aisle. OK, I added some meat and sausages to the mix and even some biscuits, milk , butter and yoghurts. See,you’re surprised now. I bought a couple of nice candles for Christmas too.                                            We sat with a coffee and discussed our next move. It was as cold as ice (cue for a song there) outside but the sun was blazing down in our eyes. We headed for Flint.

We parked up outside Temptations then walked over to Homies and then to B&M (BUM) where we both picked up a couple of things. That went in the car and out came the chocolates for the girls and Kyle. Kyle saw us coming in and mouthed to me  “Usual”, I nodded yes and worked my way to the counter through the puddle of drool Mike was leaving as he spied Sian on the front counter. I paid Kyle, passed over today’s chocolates and picked up the tray of drinks with Mike’s teasted toecake.                                    Once we left there it was the Original Factory Shop next where Mike persuaded me to buy myself some new slippers as it seems my old ones have been disturbing him walking about on their own at night. Mike bought some gloves. Then we went to Poundland for some paintstripper anti-deodorant for Mike. He usually squirts it and applies a naked flame so he can get rid of the five o’clock shadow on his chin and that’s 5.00 am !

We were due to meet up with Yvonne in the afternoon and as yet didn’t know the time so we went home at 11.30 am to unpack the shopping. I had time to hit a bit more mail and at 1.00 pm when we went out I had it just below 100 left. We went to the chip shop in town and as we sat I had a text from Yvonne to say they’d just left Old Colwyn. Fine, allowing them half an hour travel we had time to eat so I texted back, “Meet you outside Homies at 1.40 pm” Mike and I ate and went up to the shop a little early. Note this daughter, UPHILL for two old men gasping for breath, I know this as we were right behind them. I checked my phone which said “Reuben’s gone to sleep, will drive slowly and meet you at 2.00 pm”. With a pair of deep sighs we walked back downhill to go round town . We were just coming out of the pet shop when my phone went again. It was 2.50 pm. “There now, a little early”. I’m bloody positive a feral growl came from my mouth as we walked back up the hill.                                                                 Ugo got Reuben from the car as Yvonne stood there shivering. We ushered her into the shop. It’s a huge shop which is why she wanted to see it. Mike and I bullied Reuben, Yvonne got to look round and Ugo got to nip to the loo nearby.I had Mike’s help to bully Yvonne so that I was able to buy a few things needed for baby to come and managed to fill a basket. I was really pleased. I said she’d pay for that bank transfer !!!!!!

We parted at 3.00 pm and Mike and I came home. I was straight onto the computer until 6.00 pm. Celebrity quiz time followed, Sharpe’s Rifles then Murdoch Mysteries which had quite a heartbreaking ending this time and I greatly appreciated the talent of the acting in those final minutes. After that I was free to return to work to ensure I was post free and blog free before midnight. And I’m going to make it too.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Houdini Files & Tempted in Temptations.

Sunday 29th March 2015.

There were a few wake-ups last night but I wasn’t ready. Finally it was 5.08 when I got up so I’d had the benefit of four hours sleep.  I wonder if Somnos is on holiday again or i this really is a show of his generosity. After my trip to the loo I came back and prepared to work. In a later message this morning a friend mentioned Mailnos, god of emails and suggested I entreat him to lighten my load of conmail. I’ve been bragging recently that it’s slackened off somewhat and others must be getting it. Waiting for me this morning was a treat.

From The Desk of the Information Officer,
Compensation Payment Department,
United Nations Headquarters.
New York, USA.

Dear Beneficiary,
                                     NOTICE OF YOUR PAYMENT

I write to notify you of the payment of your compensation fund to this office as 
one those that has been Scammed through African countries mainly from Nigeria. 
You only have to re-verify your data such as your full name, your address, your 
phone number and your occupation so it can be used to authenticate you as the 
legal owner of this fund. Immediately this is done successfully, you will be 
given every details of your compensation fund and the amount accrue to you.

However, you are to contact the Supervising Agent in charge of this payment; his 
name is Mr. Smith Brad. He has been given the full mandate to get your fund paid 
to you, so kindly send the required information through his email address at ( 
smith_brad2@aol.com ) for immediate processing of your compensation sum.

Your immediate response to this email will be fully appreciated.

Yours Faithfully,
For: UNITED NATIONS

Mrs. Joyce Savage

It's strange that I'm supposed to have reported this crime and yet they don't know my name. I gave it a great deal of attention on it's way to the bin. I worked through till 7.00 am before going through to see to the fish. As it was yesterday and the day before I received instant attention from four of the five and I'll leave you to guess which on couldn't be bothered making an appearance. After not having seen him at all yesterday it was more worrying today but two tings became plain. The little so and so is a magician. A very careful study of the tank provided no proof of either a corpse nor a live fish and yet when we did the tank I had all the hiding places turned towards me so I could see at a glance if they were occupied.. I'm thinking of changing his name from Harold Hoplo to Harry Houdini if he ever shows up again.

I left them eating and went to take my morning meds. It was a little like trying to swallow a mouthful of sawdust each time I thought about him. When I’d finished I made myself a coffee and just sat in the lounge to drink it. Eventually I decided to go back to work and took my mug through to the kitchen. Mr Houdini was out looking for breakfast. I hoped he really was magic because the others had done a pretty good clean up job. There was a fair bit of mail as is usual on a Sunday so I just took them in my stride, dealing with them slowly in their turn. The morning passed quite quickly until I realised it was time to think of lunch. I took my pre-foodie, turned the TV to an Al Pacino film I thought sounded interesting about the American War of independence and put my meal in the micro.There was a choice between braised beef or a new one Ham hock in parsley sauce with mash. It sounded OK. The first problem when I got it out of the packet was in much smaller writing it said cheesy mash (abomination). Oh well, no doubt the parsley sauce would mask it. I can’t remember struggling so much with a meal in a long time. Not pleasant eating at all though the veg an the parsley sauce were OK. I struggled and won.

When the film started there were some very good names there and quite a few British actors I knew. Before long I had to turn it off. If you’re going to have an Irish accent, why not have it delivered by an Irishman. There are plenty of great Irish actors around, Liam Neeson, Gabriele Byrne. The only acting I saw was from Lady Olivier or Dame Joan Plowright as she is in her own right. Uppercrust British, she can do the job blindfolded. The film was a torment. On top of that lunch it was nauseating. I came back to work. The afternoon was just a steady progression from one post to the next between the two addresses, nothing strenuous, nothing odd and nothing else remotely crooked. At 6.00 pm I broke off to have some tea and noticed a film at 9.00 pm that looked appealing. It’s rare for me to spend time with a full film, indeed it’s rare to be able to prise me away from the computer for that long but I’ve booked myself a seat mail permitting. So straight after tea back I came, and on I went.I knocked off again at 8.55 pm and took my seat in the auditorium ready for the curtains to open. I’m not going to show my age by mentioning an organ that came up from the depths and played us in.

The film was called Hansel and Gretel. OK, I wasn’t expecting a fairy story at this time of night but it sort of started off like that with the kids being abandoned in the forest. I’m no prude but I was jarred a bit at the ‘F’ word as it seemed inappropriate given the times and the costumes. Having said that, I wonder if this is the steampunk. I hear about after seeing the weaponry. There was no holding back on the violence or the gore though one scene brightened when a woman walked into a pool naked as a jay bird, naturally I didn’t look. Well. not after the first couple of times anyway. In the end maybe I should have shown a bit more patience as I turned off at 10.00 pm. It just didn’t grip me, hold my interest, make me smile or laugh.Frankly I was bored. It gave me chance to come and catch up further on my mail.

Tomorrow is an anniversary for me and I may need to take the day off. There’s no point really in my telling you this a week late but if anyone was affected and found me rude, perhaps you’ll understand now.

Monday.

In memory of my beautiful wife who left this life 2 years ago today I decided to take a day off. I did still want to leave you with some music though. So……..

Tuesday.

I got to bed by 11.15 pm last night.I’d done nothing but was exhausted anyway. So, I read until 12.10 am and at the end of a chapter turned the light out. I should really have been reading a ‘Hornblower’  book as the storm was raging and a gale was blowing outside. I’m not sure how long it took me to get to sleep but when I awoke ‘hours’ later it was 12.50 am. No way did I intend to get up but my bladder said I should so I nipped to the loo and back and tried again. Still nothing doing so I sat on the edge of the bed enjoying a cigarette and rubbing cream into my ankle to try and make it feel less like rhino skin. Once again I tried but still no joy.  Eventually at 2.00 am I put my dressing gown on and went to sit in my chair in the lounge. I didn’t turn the light on as there’s a street lamp not too far from the window that just allows enough diffused light in to make things out without seeing them clearly. Not enough to disturb me should I nod off. And in Ju’s company nod off I did. It must have been for about ten minutes until the click of the timer turned a lamp on to discourage burglars. I tried again and managed to fall asleep once more. At some point I woke up and went back to bed where I found myself when I awoke for the last time at 5.28 am. The rain was still coming down and the wind still howling.

There was a small temptation to stay where I was and enjoy another day of freedom but I persuaded myself not to be lazy and got up to turn the computer on. While it powered up I went to the tinkle factory. I won’t be winning awards anytime soon unless it’s for the person who takes the longest. By the time I got back they’d just announced Windows 23. I signed in and started on the mail. I was doing really well with it before I came across a friend’s latest post where it seems some parts of her beliefs were very relevant to my Buthidars site. I started pinching bits to share in a new post. There seemed to be plenty of things to comment on today as well. at 7.15 am knowing I was late I went through to the kitchen. The morning was so grim and dull I had to turn the main light on as well as the tank lights. At the first sign of movement Big Al was there casting dirty looks in my direction. I know he disapproved of my tardiness and I’m sure he may have been a Victorian schoolmaster in a previous life and still wishes he had a cane. Anyhoo, Pepper came up to join him in the queue for food and was gently barging him in what seemed like play. As I opened he feeding flap I saw Bonzo arrive, little Al heading my direction and Harold was speeding in from the other side. As he came, a complete stem of weed floated up from where he’d just been and joined 2 others at the top of the tank. At least I now know  who’s responsible for all the uprooting I’m seeing. I’m going to get a wet and cold arm replacing the plants for him to do it again. I fed them, listened to the faint cheers (sarcastic and derisory) and left to take my meds.

After the meds were taken I had a cigarette to time things and then had some breakfast. A little grapefruit and some cold toast slathered in butter. I washed the pots, made a coffee and took it back to my room. Something started buzzing in the back of my mind to do with grapefruit. I carried on working in the hopes it would come to me naturally. It did. Something to do with my drugs. I had to check and found two of my tabs have grapefruit as contra-indications, stay away from grapefruit as one put it. Just an Oops warning I think, I wasn’t about to explode and neither were my bowels which was something that worried me. I was safe. I had no need to go out today and indeed the new warden may call, so I was able to carry on working most of the morning. I knocked off at about 11.00 am and returned to my chair in the lounge. The gale outside was playing games with a wheelie bin so the constant banging of the lid on the base made sure I couldn’t sleep but at least I lay here relaxed until 11.45 am when I went through to see about lunch. pre-foodie tab, butter some bread, work hard at perforating the plastic lid then bung my masterpiece in the micro to cook. Cottage pie today. I ate my meal while watching Bargain Hunt today and then washed up for the second time today.

Back to work and a bit of catch up to be done since I’d been away two hours.  There’s nothing specific I think on TV today so I can stay where I am until this pressure sore bursts out. Sometime I’ll have to find a suitable song for tonight. Maybe I’ll have youtube on while I’m working soon and look or inspiration.  I was concentrating on a comment someone had made on my blog this afternoon when I could hear this faint sound in the background. Musical but in a bing-bong kind of way I looked up and saw a message on screen saying my Brother in Law (half of Mujo) was ringing me on Skype. Neither of us have been able to get the other for a long time but this morning I’d had an incoming call from someone I didn’t know and while I was in blocking it I’d done a search and found John was on 3 times. I got rid of the one I had and chose the last one. That seems to have done the trick. Yesterday I’d had a text letting me know they were both ill, and to hear him cough there was no doubting it. They hope to be well enough to be through on Thursday but if not then next week. Usually I’m invisible on Skype and John is the only person I’ve spoken to on it in years. Well, about 3 years anyway. I least I don’t stutter talking to him. We were chatting about antiques but I couldn’t say much as his birthday is approaching and he almost is one. Once the call was over I reinstated my cloak of invisibility and worked on until 5.15 pm when I went to have a look at Pointless and what should have been two episodes of Big Bang Theory but was only one and a bit Zzzzzzz. I came back through after the music at the end credits woke me up and started again. I have something finishing on bay at 11.36 pm so I thought I might as well be here till then and lessen the load for the morning. I won the ebay lot so time was getting on by the time I paid for it. Bed at midnight.

Wednesday.

Moan, moan, groan. What a night again. To bed at midnight. Light off at 12.45 am(ish) an up again at 1.50 am.A trip to the loo in case my bladder’s squawking woke me but no, it hadn’t. A cigarette to relax and back into bed. Sleep comes eventually but awake again at 3.20 am. I went to sit in my chair in the lounge to see if I’d be more comfortable and woke at 4.51 am. It was time to get up as there was no more sleep in me. I wandered back through to the  bedroom and fired up the computer.                          No big win on the Eurolottery despite convincing myself that it was my turn this week. I blame the small gods and their sense of direction for this since it was someone in the UK who won £53m  Good luck to them.

I turned to my emails. Not too many left from last night but they took a little time to deal with . I was on today’s messages a little after 6.00 am and working my way through them steadily. There were three people who liked my last blog who I don’t know so I had to check their blogs and posts out. I felt really sorry for one person who is a committed Christian and gay since his Church have tried to exclude him and his family, the ones you rely on for love and support have also excluded him. How he kept his faith I’ll never know. From my own point of view, Why he kept his faith I’ll never know since it seems that acceptance of his sexual orientation or preferences is much more likely to happen in the world of those who don’t believe in god but do believe in the tolerance of others. There was also an email from the amazing Chris, The Story Reading Ape with a series of Did You Know facts that was really entertaining. I have to say that some of my friends, colleagues, acquaintances and Who did you say? Are some of the most amazing, selfless people in the world. Chris, Sally,Olga,Kim, Jo,Ailsa, Colleen,Viv, Suzanne, Rosie and many others, spend so much time supporting authors in one way or another with interview, guest posts or just cover reveals as well as dealing with their own books , blogs and promotions. Thank you kind people on behalf of us all. If there’s anyone whose name I didn’t include, it isn’t because I don’t love you or haven’t noticed what you do, it’s just that I could fill a blog with thanks if I didn’t draw the line at some point.

At 7.00 am I went through to the kitchen and turned on the tank light. I saw Harold before he had chance to disappear so was happy about that. On April 1st you don’t want to be fooled again.I fed them some of their older treats this morning but Big Al turned his back and went off to a corner. Pepper had a good chomp before he went too. Little Al and his midget pal Bonzo carried on grazing. Those two also seem to react a bit to my voice, coming closer when I speak but maybe I speak about the wrong things as they soon beggar off again. I took a pre -foodie tab and put some bread in the toaster which I could allow to go cold. Then I took my sprays and the rest of the morning meds before smoking a ‘Timer’ ( a cigarette is about the right length of time to wait between pre-foodie tab and actually eating, not that I need an excuse to smoke). Slathering butter on my toast and eating it was wonderful. I like my slightly salted butter too which gives it all more flavour.                                                                                                 The wind/gale seems to have dropped this morning and it looks dry outside so I dressed just before 9.00 am and took a birthday card to be posted before calling in at Pauline’s for my TV magazine and some fresh bread plus a birthday card for one coming up this month. Back at home I unpacked then started back on the mail. It kept me going through the morning until 11.30 am when I broke off ready to get lunch.

I ate while watching Murder She Wrote. Screaming “Look out behind you” with a mouthful of corned beef hash is not a great idea. Anyway she never listens. I really wanted to nod off afterwards but didn’t as I needed to be as clear as possible before games night. I came back to my room and caught up with my main address ( without refreshing) then signed into my gmail address to find 163. Ouch. I was answering some mail from a friend who gave me a probably well deserved telling off after a remark about the play being improved if I walked off the stage. I did say it was just my opinion but she sent a virtual Australian clout in my direction. I’m chastened. It stung.I read a post that took me in about fox cubs being trained as guide dogs and fell for it hook line and sinker. I only hoped as it was after noon, the ‘Fool’ bit wouldn’t count though I did feel a right prat. I’d have felt the left one too if it had been there. Thanks Sally, I owe you !!!! I just took it easy all afternoon until 5.00 pm when I knocked off to answer the door to the chemist’s delivery man. His timing was perfect as I’d just noticed one of my sprays in the red zone. I really felt sorry for him too as he’d been caught in yet another very heavy shower. As he left there was a text from Lee to say he couldn’t make it tonight which was a real shame. I’d just sat down in the lounge after answering and I saw Dil and Matt coming along the path. It was just 5.10 pm , they’re getting earlier every week trying to catch me kipping so they can complain I’m not in the kitchen doing their drinks. They were actually able to see the quiz they like all the way through.

At 6.00 pm as the TV went off  Dil unfolded the games table and I brought over some games. We ended up playing Yahtzee first. I think least said, soonest mended as far as that goes. I was humiliated enough then without repeating it now. Then we had two games of Balderdash. My skills were to the fore in the first game and I romped home. In the second game I started well and had a decent lead so I was lulled into a false sense of security. All of a sudden Dil was past me and home. He couldn’t get one wrong. I think even Matt ended up ahead of me. Finally we had time for a game of Crazy 8’s, I don’t know why I bothered. They were on form and had me for a 14 card pick-up twice. In the last hand alone I was caught with 140 points which took me way over. It’ll b days before I can hold my head up and that’s when I’ve forgotten I lost and start thinking I had a good night. After they left at 9.30pm in the pouring rain, and I locked the front door, I tidied up and washed the pots then took my meds before coming through. It was almost 10.00 pm and you’d all been far too busy. I’m sure you increase pace when you know I’m out of the way. Anyway there’s a lot so I’ve started the blog at 10.30 pm and it’s almost 11.30 pm now so I can probably manage another half hour with the mail.

     Classic Motown from 1971.

Thursday.

Things went to pot last night but I’m sort of glad. I did my usual of recent times and worked till just midnight to allow myself time for a read. Lights off at 1.00 pm or Matron comes round and tells me off ( I wish). Sleep didn’t come easy because my damned ankle was itching like mad so I had to get up and apply some cream. Eventually it cooled enough for me to nod off but I woke again just after 2.00 am then again at almost 3.30 am. I almost gave up but being perverse I decided to try in the front room. For a change I thought I’d try the chair I normally sit in to play cards which is Mike’s chair when he’s here.( No Mike. I’m not paying rent since when you’re here I don’t touch it). This clever move on my part ( pre-planned of course) must have bamboozled the small gods- especially Porcinus bless him, it doesn’t take much- since I woke up in place at 7.34 am. That’s almost like a normal night’s sleep for most people. I can’t remember such a late start. Unfortunately Big Al can and he was most definitely dischuffed with me this morning. The evil eye was in play and followed me round the room even when I didn’t move. I was so nervous I just dropped half a tub of food in and ran. Then I came back to take the lid off in case he cursed me. Once I’d counted my fingers I wished them all good morning and left to take my meds.

After the meds I made a coffee to take back with me and sat making a start on last night’s emails of which there were still a few. When I next looked at the clock it was 9.25 am and since I had no idea what time MuJo were arriving I stopped work to get washed and dressed. I even slapped a bit of water on my bonce to see if I could get rid of bedhead where one side lies down and the other sticks up. Once done I returned to work and started on today’s mail. I was able to work until 10.45 am when MuJo arrived. I sorted drinks and we sat and chatted a while, well Mu and I chatted while John coughed. Nope, no gold watches. For once the day was pretty much decided. They wanted the chippy in town and a couple of shops John likes. I also reminded him it was Market Day and he could have batteries put in the two watches he’s had in the car since before Christmas. When we arrived in town that was the first thing we did followed by lunch where I found I’d come out without any tabs. Never mind, I said I’d have some at tea time about 6.00 pm. After lunch we visited John’s shops without buying anything this visit then we had a ride to Flint. Muriel wanted Aldi so I used the opportunity to get some flowers for Ju and some chocolates for Temptations. Mu got what she needed and the next stop was Temptations which was good since I think I swallowed the contents of the budgie’s cage and I don’t even have a budgie. Mu and John both wanted a cold drink from the cool shelves and what a nice surprise when I got there than to find Ceri on her knees. ( Behave now!) I gave in to the temptation to give her a sws (kiss) on her forehead and help her up.

Wiping the drool from my chin and remembering I’m nearly twice her age I went to order my coffee and hand over the chocolates. I think coffee was an error considering I was thirsty but in the next shop I was able to get a small bottle of Pepsi Max to keep in my pocket. MuJo were searching for something special in material to run down behind and above he four poster. Unsuccessful we did one more shop together to try but without any luck. John went to sit on the car while Mu and I looked in one more place where I thought I’d found the ideal thing but Mu’s eyes just told me I have no taste. We drove back to my place and arrived there just after 4.30 pm. John needed a drink and Mu went out for lottery tickets. It was just before 5.00 pm when I waved them off. As I got in the house I was opening my mail page as I was trying to get my shoes off with the other hand. Six and a quarter hours without a computer, OMG How much mail can com through in that time? Aaaarrrggghhhh, I just found out. I need two computers so I can answer double the mails in the same time. They won’t make sense but really, this is me so who’ll notice? They will think I’m asleep again. I could only work until 6.15 pm before going to take a pre- foodie and get something to eat. Pork pie, bread and butter and a slice of strawberry and rhubarb tart that must have jumped into my basket at Aldi. Unfortunately the Big Bang Theory was on while I ate and it would have been rude not to stay to the end so I didn’t resume work until 7.00 pm. Then I remembered it’s Thursday and the new episode is on at 8.30 pm followed by a new episode of a police comedy I like. I just had to…….

At half past eight I slunk guiltily out of my room and went to the lounge, sank into my chair and turned TV back on. Both episodes were fantastic and I was glad I hadn’t missed them. At half past nine I slunk even more guiltily back into my room an tried to resume work a though I’d never been away. My computer wasn’t having any of that and automatically refreshed with a snigger. By the time I came round again…….                                                                                                                                                                                           ! “Come on, you can do this” I tried telling myself, and I tried, but between distractions like thinking spiders were crawling up my leg and countless typos I was just getting further behind. At 10.30 pm I excused myself and started on this blog as any excess mail could wait until tomorrow morning but I need to try and get out tomorrow for a while and then Saturday is like today-BAD. So it’s 11.25 pm now and maybe I’d better try for a little bit longer.                                                                                                                               Tonight a real blast from the past, hope you know it.

or

Friday.

I only survived until 12.15 am before I had to go to bed. Naturally I had to read for a while to refocus the grasshoprer brain but I shut the book and turned the light off at 1.00 am. The brain started up straight away, and no matter how much I thought about something the brain insisted on returning to it. Even now I’m not sure if my subconscious was giving me the chance to correct an error or whether I was just stuck on repeat like the old record players used to do. I remember driving my parents crazy by lifting the arm so ‘I got you babe’ by Sonny and Cher would repeat. At some stage I dropped of only to wake up or be woken up at 2.10 am. After a cigarette I was able to relax back into sleep again until 2.52 am. I refused to give in and achieved sleep again without having to first get out of bed. When I next woke at 3.47 am I knew it was time to get up. I couldn’t really object as I’d been given a treat yesterday morning. The small gods must get their way sometimes. Well most all the time actually.

I paid a visit to the country of the Loo Bloo Waterfall then came back and signed on. I was rather horrified when I saw how many emails I’d left from yesterday. Still, I had no choice but to start working to clear them though there was a temptation to ring in sick. I worked until I’d finished yesterday’s which was almost 6.15 am then decided it was a natural break to go feed the fish. I put the kitchen light on and then the tank light. Only Little Al was there ready for breakfast.I was a little earlier than usual. But something was wrong with the tank and I couldn’t figure out what. I combined trying to find the others with trying to see what was jarring me. I was halfway along the tank when my heart sunk, an angel fish dead behind the bubble wall, no it looked like 2. Just a bloody minute, I don’t have any angel fish I don’t like the nasty little beggars. I worked it out at last. The Loki half of MuJo had been at the tank while I was out of the room yesterday. He’d added to the tank three plastic fish from his old bubble tube. He must have delighted in the fact I hadn’t seen them yesterday.

bubble tube

 

Once I’d recovered, I left Big Al, Little Al and Pepper enjoying breakfast and went to take my meds. I thought I’d have breakfast this morning so once I’d taken a pre-foodie  I put two slices of bread in the toaster and took my other tabs. Then being Friday and the day I need to do my meds for the week again so I went through to the lounge for my meds drawer. Once done I took the now cold toast from the toaster , cut it and buttered it. As I stood eating, the machine was making me a latte. Once I’d finished I took my post-foodie tablets and made my way my room.  A few days ago I’d had a google+ message that someone had followed me. Let’s call her Marie (cos’ that’s her name). As I always do I went through to see if it was a fellow author, though obviously I’m slightly more flexible than only to join up with you reprobates. There was nothing to indicate what she did or any posts but there was a picture of a woman in be with an oxygen mask on. My immediate thought was that she may be lonely (and desperate) if she was long term ill so I followed her back. Today there was a message from google + that she had started a conversation with me, would I like to see. ( Obviously) so I took a look. What appeared was one of those rambling letters from a woman in Africa (where else) whose husband had died 2 years ago in a helicopter crash in France ( link supplied). Never had children, she’s dying from cancer, £6m+ in a bank which I can have 40% of if I make sure the other 60% is used for charitable purposes as they want. I wold normally laugh this off as I tell you what an obvious con it is but this time I thought how nasty these people are, using the picture of an obviously ill woman, and giving a link to an obvious tragedy which then impinges on someone’s grief. These individuals are not funny at all to do this.

I carried on working all morning with just a break to get washed and dressed and pay a visit to Pauline’s to renew my lottery tickets. I wasn’t out for long and was soon back behind my desk working. Towards the end of the session before I broke off for lunch I received another email, this time one of my old favourites. Notice the similarity in helicopter crashes?

Dear Sir/ Madam

My name is Mr. Phalli Sang Sotoku a Business Manager with Mega International commercial bank here in Asia. As the accounts officer to late Mr. Lam Kok who died in a helicopter crash in France while inspecting one of the new acquisition.

You can follow the link to know more about our deceased customer: www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-25476662

In accordance with the es-cheat laws as a kingdom nation, the Board of Directors of the bank met forth night ago and resolved to turn the estate of the deceased over to Government pause having waited for too long without the deceased relatives/next of kin surfacing property and if this is done, invariably, the funds will end up to become Government property.

I have the opportunity of making you the beneficiary to the deposited funds with our bank, i have all the details and required information to make you the beneficiary to the funds, get back to me with your intent consideration to handle this project on my behalf

Looking forward to hear from you. You can also feel free to reach me on my private mail box[PhallaSS@outlook.com].

Yours Sincerely

Mr. Phalli Sang Sotoku

I’m hoping that no-one sees either of today’s cons and thinks there’s anything in it for them. I made myself a shepherd’s pie for lunch, had a piece of suicidal strawberry and rhubarb tart and made my way back to work. I was running approximately 4 hours behind all the time and couldn’t seem to catch up. Oh how I cursed you all so if you wake up with furry feet tomorrow you know whose fault it is and maybe you won’t spend tomorrow writing while I’m out, thus saving me a headache when I get back Despite the backlog I had to stop at 5.00 pm for a break or I may just have nodded off. The TV schedule has changed a lot for the holiday weekend so I found a quiz to watch while I sat with another piece of my pie. Once I’d washed up I didn’t fancy much of what was on and didn’t want to start a film so I watched a couple of Big Bang Theory repeats so I returned to work smiling.

It took a while before I thought I was gaining on the backlog but bit by bit I clawed my way up the ladder. When I got there I knew it would be “Look at me Ma, I’m on top of the World Ma.” At least until some sneaky beggar writes another post. Bu at least I was feeling  a little more confident about tomorrow now, and with luck I won’t be out too long. As they can’t take me next week maybe I should buy extra tomorrow so I don’t have to leave the house except to get milk and bread at Pauline’s. I want to be one of those hermits where they drop food off outside my cave though I would pay for it. But, if I wasn’t going out, I couldn’t get cash so everything would have to be paid by cheque. Oh well, I could always claim I’d been asked for an autograph. By 11.00 pm I was up to date woo hoo, and rather than tempt myself later I closed the email down to concentrate on this. It’s now 12.02 pm and I’m off to bed.

Most countries will have had a version of this song but I’m going for the home version rather than the International one. I hope you enjoy it.

Saturday.

Well , I was in bed ‘toot sweet’ last night whn I closed the computer and ready for a couple of chapters of my book. I think once I finish this I may re-read all my early Pratchett’s again. My light went off just before 1.00 am and since I’d paid a visit before climbing into bed there should be no excuse to wake for that. Despite that I still woke at 1.40 pm and struggled to get off again. When I woke the next time I felt I’d had a good sleep and was ready to start work so I was more than a little surprised to find it was 2.22 am. Oh well, I thought, there’s plenty of time to go back to bed if I get tired and virtually all I have to do is fall off my chair. Had any of you been listening closely though I may have been heard muttering about the legitimacy of a certain 3 brothers. If one of the small gods decides to furnish me with copies of birth certificates next visit I could have some apologising to do. I’ve said it before that getting up this early can be a pain but can also be a great help on a Saturday in making sure I’m more or less up to date before going out. Today I logged in and found an early start maybe wasn’t too bad, not that I’ll ever repeat that to Somnos of course.

It took me until 6.00 am to clear up till 4.30 am’s post and then I could see a few deletions were coming my way so I took it as a natural break. I’m not sure why I chose to go at that moment as I wasn’t due to be screaming down Mike’s  ear that his coffee was ready. Since he’s still in Canada I’d need lungs like Dolly Parton’s. As I turned the tank light on in he kitchen Little Al was circling in place below the hatch like he’d not been fed this week. Fortunately my memory is better than his. I was in the process of sprinkling some food in when Bonzo and Pepper swam in. Almost a minute later Big Al appeared, taking his time and looking quite cross at me as though I ”d disturbed his sleep. Considering it’ s the same place Pepper came from I’m wondering what I had disturbed. Since they’re both Corys it wouldn’t surprise me but my friend Andrea (sigh) wondered what the combination might be as in Ligers/Tigons so my choices are either Pepals or Alpeps. No sign of Harold but he’s probably having a lie-in again. Leaving the fish I went to take my tabs. This week they changed the size of one from miniscule to horse tablet size so I’ve no idea whether it can go down with the bulk as usual or whether it’s another I need to take solo. As it happened it went down in bulk still so I have only two solo’s to take. I did that then made a coffee to bring back. I left kt on the desk while I concentrated on getting dressed.

When I was ready, I had my coffee, checked my ebay and then sis a little more work. At about 8.00 am I had a text from Yvonne to say they hoped to be leaving in about 15 minutes to pick me up but to remember traffic problems with road repairs. At 8.15 am another text to say ‘Left on time, Yay.” Knowing I had until about 9.00 pm I got the rubbish ready to put out and did so. Now I was free to work again. I was really doing quite well but time was getting on, a third text to tell me they were at the top of the hill came as a surprise. I left everything and got my coat on with bags at the ready. A few minutes later at 8.55 am they arrived. I was outside waiting. Firstly I had to listen to Reuben say ham and cheese….about 200 times before he said Hi Pops. Yvonne and Ugo ignored me as usual. They took me to Asda to do the bulk of my shopping. For the second week running I forgot my disabled parking card but Ugo managed to park quite close by so not too bad. I got my cash from the machine wile Yvonne grabbed a trolley and we went in. Ugo was going to follow behind us with Reuben. Potatoes first today and then because I bought flowers with MuJo on Thursday I didn’t need more today. It was straight on with the shopping. We were sharing the trolley again so I was trying to keep my stuff together out of their way. Every once in a while she would put something in her half and I’d decide I’d treat them to it and sneak it over. My daughter is a very argumentative person I find. We heard the sound of a siren, Oops, No. That was Reuben not wanting to let go of a toy.Yvonne decided he should have it for Easter instead of yet more chocolate and he was quiet again.That may need to be nipped in the bud though before he becomes a master manipulator. I don’t want the competition.

We finally finished going round and went for a coffee in MaDonald’s where Ugo demolished a couple of burgers and fries and even Reuben had a bit.When we’d done there they took me to Lidl to see if there was a special still available which was on just Yesterday and today. I was lucky , there were some left. Yvonne did  her main shop there and I managed to get them a few more treats.  I was thinking of putting them kin her trolley when we reached the till for a joke but I know she’d never let me pay for them so I didn’t. The moaning wasn’t any less but at least it was fait accompli. All done they ran me home and I made sure she had a tassimo cleaning tablet and their Easter eggs before they left. She left me loads of sweets for Easter from them all. Once they’d gone I started unpacking. The air was blue. My fridge is so small as to be fairly useless and I was using a show horn to lever things in. Finally it was done. Now it was lunch time and I had to see that through before anything else. It was nearly 2.00 pm before I was finally able to come through to work. By which time I was almost too scared to bother. With very good reason too. But, I girded my lions ( I used brasso and their manes came up a lovely colour) and put my grind to the nose stone and soon enough I could see results. One thing I noticed early on. While you lot were staying in and writing instead of enjoying the sunshine, all the women who propose to me have gone on holiday. Either that or it’s time for a bath. That in itself presents a problem as I only have a shower here though I could have a strip wash in the sink if Mike hadn’t told me I’d fall out. He said I should never have taken up tap dancing. Boom Boom.

Time just passed in a flash so I got dressed again and at 6.00 pm went through to turn the tank light off and to have some tea. I confess I couldn’t be bothered making anything so I had two doughnuts , it tasted like diabetic jam so I didn’t feel too bad.I watched TV for half n hour but had to stop because my eyes were getting ready to close. I don’t mind them doing that but I’d rather it was after I catch up. By 8.15 pm I had caught up and was so relieved. I could keep pace with things as they came in now, and then a little later could concentrate on the blog so it was ready for midnight. And that’s what I did.And now I’m off to bed. I have a treat for you all on Tuesday.

By special request of Suzanne Joshi another Cole Porter song but this time by a much more recognisable name.

The Easter Bunny?

The Easter Bunny?

Music Maestro

Music Maestro

 

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