Longlegs are funny things. They have a place where they take their fur off just to wash. They don’t use a paw like I do but have water thrown over them like we do if we sing outside too loudly in the dark time. That seems to be the time that longlegs decide we need to wash like they do.
Anyway, the clearway to my longlegs washing place was open, and I like to look around in case there are scuttling things about. I walked in and on the side of their oasis was a little box of those things I see my ‘The Her’ use sometimes. Funny little sticks with what looks like softwhite on the ends. I like to be sure of things so it was only right that I checked. I reached up and pulled the little box , it jumped off and fell to the floor where the top came off. Lo and behold some of the little sticks jumped out at me. I pounced. I rolled around with one and fought it until the softwhite started to come off. I was right about what it was, but this was fun. I fought until it had all come off and it seemed to be spread all across the floor. There was more on than I thought.
Just to be sure it wasn’t the only one like that I picked a few up in my mouth and headed for another place where it was warmer. In the place with no small clearways between the sleeping places of my longlegs I fought a few more battles. Each one was fun but soon I had no more sticks left and I was bored. The floor was covered in the softwhite where I had fought so hard, it looked like the outside floor sometimes looks during the long dark times when it is very cold. But it did not chill my paws like that does.
There was a small clearway open and I wandered towards it when I noticed my ‘The Him’ coming towards me. Naturally I veered in his direction to rub myself up against him so other superiors like me would know he was mine. He can be so clumsy I’m not always sure I should claim him so openly. Anyway, I decided to be nice and prepared to rub when he tripped over me and landed in the soft white. Just as well I’d placed it there obviously in case he fell. I turned to give him a loving headbutt to let him know I forgave the trip when I heard him take in breath like he does before a roar. It was time I wasn’t here. I ran for the clearway and was almost outside when I heard my name being called in a huge voice, “Oscar, what the he..?”
I spent a delightful time under the longlegs chariot watching the world go by. I saw Smokey walk past Ginger with her nose and tail in the air, I saw a yappy thing go past pulled on a rope behind a longlegs, they do not have trust like us to run free. Finally it was time to eat and I could stay here no longer. I got up and walked back to the small clearway and jumped up and in. I’m very athletic.
The softwhite had gone, I guess my ‘The Him’ had taken it to play with now. I wandered towards my food dish and enjoyed a meal then decided to see if he had stopped roaring now. I found both my longlegs in their sitting place. I started to walk past my ‘The Him’ but he brought a hand down automatically so I sidled up to let him stroke me. As I walked through his open paw to let the claws run down my back I saw his paw becoming black. It must be something on my back from where I was under the chariot. I decided to say nothing and instead moved over to where my ‘The Her’ was sitting. I heard her make the funny hiccups and she held out a paw to stop me jumping on her knee. “Oh no you don’t ” she said,”You’re for a bath.” And before I could stop her she scooped me up and took me to the place of washing where she dropped me in a deep place and rained water on me. I wasn’t even singing. Then she put something on me which turned the water to slimy bubbles and rubbed my back. Into the room came my ‘The Him’ with black marks from where he had rubbed his head and started to was his paw in the water raining down on me. I heard him say he didn’t understand what had happened and saw my ‘The her’ point to his face. He looked in the mirror and screamed quietly, but like a brave warrior used some of the water to wash his face. My ‘The Her’ finished with me and turned the water flow off. She wrapped me in something so I couldn’t run, it was soft, just like the softwhite I had played with. Then she placed me on her knee and rubbed me. “Ah, that’s better” I thought, knowing that I was being treated as I deserved. It must have been by way of apology for raining water on me. My ‘The Him’ sat down but his glance at me said he didn’t feel like stroking me and so I put my nose in the air to show I was too superior for it to matter. I knew he’d change his mind later as stroking me always seemed to make him feel good.
Such funny things are Longlegs.