Tag Archives: Coffin shelves

Dracula’s Day & Payout Puzzle.

Sunday.  After a read it was fairly late before I got to sleep last night despite the lack of sleep on Friday. This time there was no problem though and I’d gone through and turned Mike’s TV off at 11.30 pm so I knew he was well away. So my light went off at about 12.45 pm  and I suspect it wasn’t long before the gentle sounds trickles from my lips. I woke at 5.54 am feeling much more refreshed than the day before. After nipping to the loo I turned the computer on to see the damage. There was quite a lot and quite a few comments on last night’s blogpost. I’m amazed at people’s generosity and kindness towards my posts since I realise they take some time to get through.

One of my emails was   ‘Molly sent you a direct picture!’=> CLICK HERE TO SEE IT NOW   gueswhere I didn’t click. It went straight to my trash so there were no repeats of last time even if it wasn’t the same woman. I could neither stand the embarrassment nor the possible excitement and I didn’t want a heart attack with Mike sleeping in the other room, he’d never hear me. At least I didn’t have to contend with the usual scams this morning. Maybe they were taking a Sunday off though who the heck would ever believe an email from the Tax Office on a Sunday anyway. At 7.00 am I went through to the kitchen to see to the fish. One of the plecs was on the front glass when I turned the light on but I saw the cory disappear into a strand of weed to hide away. I don’t know why he bothered as it was almost directly under the feeding hatch and he nearly got a headache when I dropped the tablet through. I wasn’t up for breakfast again, I find myself back where I used to be of not wanting to eat this early in the day even though the doctor recommended it. It was easier just to take my meds and make myself a coffee. Before taking it back to my room I prepared Mike’s cup as I had no idea what time he’d get up after being asleep from at least 11.30 pm. I wanted to be ready. After all, he might have set his alarm for some reason.

I went back and continued working. Saturday is when a lot of other people post too so there’s always plenty of commenting to do. If possible I like to re-tweet for as many authors as I can to increase their audience. Many of them have now become firm friends. It was getting on for 9.00 am when I was reaching an end of what was showing and I decided to get dressed before doing anything else. Recently I was asked to read and review a book for someone and I wanted an uninterrupted go at it from where I’d left off yesterday. I was doing really well and was just a few chapters from the end when I heard Mike stir. It was 10.00 am so I allowed to computer to sleep and went to make his coffee. I sat with him but in a sort of companionable silence as it takes a while for him to wake up properly. I know when he has done as the insults and quick retorts start flying. Today it was about 10.30 am.

We decided to take a quick run to Flint to look for something in one of the shops, what’s more we found it. We left home about 11.15 am and were done by 12.00 pm. I staggered and almost fell over when I asked Mike if he wanted a coffee and he refused never even checking to see if his insult friend Ceri was working. Instead he suggested going straight for lunch. Since everything I’d just bought was sweets I agreed. The traffic was a bit annoying again. Plenty of cars were out and about as people enjoyed the sunshine and warmth of the day, but the road works hadn’t progressed much. We reached The Ivy about 12.30 pm and parked up. Mike was none too happy when he had to move the car because another car came in and parked next to us but at a massive angle instead of being straight. He was worried they’d hit his car if they tried to reverse out. Chances are they would too. It was a stupid and thoughtless move. We saw Tariq by the side door and he called us over to look at the bars he was making to put up. We can’t figure out if it’s to keep the staff in or the customers out. After a chat he let us go in that way cutting off a big corner of the building we’d have to walk round otherwise. Today I’d brought individual sweets for all in the shape of Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. Some with exploding candy in and some with toffee which I hadn’t seen before. I passed Angie hers and Tariq’s and told her to pick the one she wanted. When Rob came out to deliver some meals I gave him one each for Shella and himself and Mike told him to make sure he got first choice. He got to laugh at my hair today though Angie said she liked it.

Angie brought the drinks over and we made our lunch selections then went out for a cigarette. The place was filling up and there were some pretty ladies sending Mike’s temperature up, he was beginning to pant. We’d just finished the smoke when Rob came out to tell us the meal was on the table but he didn’t know who was having what. He’d got them right though. They were as always very enjoyable. Between mouthfuls Mike flirted with anything that had a pulse while I just ate being out of practice with anything like that, by about 50 years I think. ( Mike says longer, a lot longer). After we’d eaten we took our time with the coffees and just enjoyed being there. When we were done I started to get my gloves on and picked up my crutches from the floor where I tuck them. I started to head for the counter to pay and say goodbye when Mike hustled me out saying he”d already paid. He wouldn’t brook any argument today either. I did the only think I could and thanked him. We took a route over the hills coming back to avoid the traffic lights and got home much quicker. Mike listened to a little of the Manchester Utd. match before putting his bags in the car and heading off. I think he was pleased they were winning 2 – 1 quite early on. I came back in to work on the 178 emails that had accumulated since the morning. But first I wanted to finish the book.

Once I’d done the review I posted it on Goodreads and the Amazon sites and also sent it to the reviewer who’d asked me to do it as it was dark humour and a genre she didn’t know. Then it was the messages. I really worked hard until finally at 6.00 pm I was almost done. I needed a break though and some tea. I took the easy route and finished off the BFG. I had TV on and was watching a cartoon film about meatballs from the sky when I must have nodded off. It was 8.00 pm and quite dark when I woke up. The film was over and the light was still on the fish tank. I shut everything down and returned to work to the new batch awaiting me.It was 11.15 pm before I finished that and started this. Time for a little read and sleep before tomorrow’s blood tests.

Who yoo lookin' at?

Who yoo lookin’ at?

Monday. Getting up at 5.05 am felt much more normal today. I’d slept for about four and a half hours and don’t remember any loo visits during the night. My bladder was certainly suggesting I go now though. Brimful of relief I came back to my room and turned the computer on ( it’s remarkable what some sexy French words will do).                There was a slightly different,  but just as con-worthy, an email from Nigeria as usual. The widow has been left 8 million dollars by her diseased sorry, deceased husband and she needs advice on how to get it out of Nigeria. It led me to thinking ( a pastime I partake of occasionally) that Nigeria must be the wealthiest country in the world and also have the biggest concentration of filthy rich widow and orphans who can’t spend a penny of their own money. I reckon the world supply of wicked uncles live there too. I could be wrong though, it could be Burkino Faso depending on how many haven’t written to me yet. My middle finger which serves as my ‘delete’ finger on the computer is now being paid overtime rates.

The albino was looking up at me from next to a clump of weed this morning when the lights went on. He looked almost friendly and didn’t swim off when I spoke to him. Maybe he felt safe flanked as he was by two of the plecs. I dropped some algae pellets in as close to him as I could to show we were friends before going off to take my meds. That done I made myself a coffee, filled my eating out pill box and went back to my room carrying my coffee and a plastic milk bottle for the recycling bag. Naturally the bag was shut when I needed it and it didn’t occur to me to put the bottle down and open it, I just kept trying to do the job one handed without spilling my coffee. In the end I managed it and only had to pick the lid up from where it had rolled away. Before I put my hand on the floor I was careful to scan it for any of the giant spiders we’re told will invade our houses now they’re looking for a mate. That must mean the females they’re seeking are already indoors. Not a nice thought.

I got washed and dressed. I chose a shirt from halfway down the i***ing basket as I worked out the weight of the stuff above will have pressed it for me. I’m not daft see, it’s all scientific research on behalf of single men everywhere. At 8.00 am I left the house to catch the bus. There was the population of all the senior schools in the area concentrated at the bus stop but I’m thankful I didn’t have too long to wait for their bus to appear. Mine wasn’t far behind either. I was in town for 8.25 am and at the hospital for 8.35 am. The nurse called the three people who were in there by name as she called them through. I just got the daft question ” Are you here for blood tests?” Checking her list and asking my name would have answered that. Perhaps she was having a bad morning already but as she approached me in the chair I heard her say “Just a little prick” which was either very personal or extremely rude. I pretended not to hear. I don’t argue with women who carry weapons . She took an extra vial this morning so the diet must be over. As I left I had to pass in front of my surgery and I never noticed the big sign that said Call in to book your Flu Jab. or obviously I would have done and made the overdue appointment with my doctor as well. Maybe the opticians should be on my list.

I was due to walk into town itself and go to the jewelers to get some batteries put in the Fossil watches but I couldn’t face the thought of being in that claustrophobic place with a door that locks behind you. Instead I found myself in the Lidl supermarket looking at pizzas. The ones I wanted weren’t in but MuJo’s favourite chocolate was so that’s what I bought along with 2 tee-shirts until it was time to go for the bus. I wasn’t waiting long for the bus and of course the journey going downhill took no time at all. I called into Pauline’s for some bacon and to cash my winning lottery ticket (£5). I always feel obliged to buy something when I take money out. I went home and got rid of the little cotton wool ball from the cleft of my arm and got to work on emails.  I knocked of at 11.45 am to go and make some lunch and decided on some beef sandwiches with coleslaw. It was only when I was eating them that I remembered I’d bought an onion this week and nothing says I Love You to roast beef like raw onion ( and some salt). I’m out with Yvonne tomorrow so I’ll try and bear the onion in mind for Wednesday. I missed the auction part of my antique programme again thanks to those damned annoying Zzz’sss that seemed to be flying around. I think there’s a plague recently. When I did wake up it was back to work.

Late afternoon before I knocked off for a break I received an email from Karl, the loss adjuster who sent his report which appeared to be a series of empty boxes.The important bit said that he’s recommending a payout less than I claimed, which I’d expected because they don’t pay on stolen cash, less the figure which I’m expected to stand myself but without telling me what that was. He’ll be in touch again on 6th October.  Again, he didn’t say why he’d be in touch because I thought his part was done now the insurance company have his report. I haven’t heard from them yet. It’s a relief though as I’ve spent a bit to replace some of the things . At teatime I put the washing machine on that I’d forgotten this morning then I treated myself to baked beans on toast which I’d been talking to Mike about on Sunday. I just had a fancy for them. Then the order of the day was Antiques, Antiques (different), Quiz, Quiz, Antiques, before coming back in here for a catch up again. At 9.00 pm I went to empty the machine and fold the contents. I had real problems untangling myself from my duvet cover when I was trying to retrieve a sock that got stuck inside in the furthest corner from me. It was only after I’d done it I found the duvet cover was inside out so I could just have righted it and the sock would have fallen out. I’m waiting for the day when Mike tells me there are as many shirts in the i***ing basket as there are in the wardrobe ( in his fevered imagination of course).

I broke off at 10.20 pm to write this post as I don’t want to be doing it too late. I’m prepared to stop doing mail if it approached midnight tonight.

Happy as Larry on my Skuttlebut

Happy as Larry on my Skuttlebug

Tuesday.It dawned on me that the day hadn’t bothered to dawn at all when I got up this morning.Too mean to turn the lights on I tried to navigate past the office chair and the obstacles on my floor by the light of the clock which kept telling me it was 4.18 pm. I must remember to adjust it, unless of course I’ve slept more than I thought. Reaching the loo I decided to risk a light in case my aim was off, it’s either that or follow Mike’s trick of sitting down. One of these night I’m going to put the top lid down too so I can see what happens. That should confuse him. Going back to my room I turned the light on so I could find the on switch for the computer and find all the goodies I’ve been sent. Though repeats two more banks I don’t have an account with, want to suspend said accounts to give me chance to update some of my info. Yeah, hope on ! The tax people have increased the figure for my rebate to £501.36 when it was only £497.56 the other day. Perhaps it’s the interest I get from not claiming. My next real rebate if there is one will be April 2015 and if they come out with a similar figure I won’t be disappointed.

Of course there has to be someone who knows the ins and outs of my life well enough to be able to predict when my lucky times are due. I’d be a fool to miss out on this FREE offer and a bigger fool If I don’t listen to when the worst time for me to invest my money is. Personally I think the worst time to invest my money is when a fake fortune teller sends me a message. The luckiest times are when I keep my money firmly in my wallet. One firm wants me to invest in a Canadian or Australian lottery. I wonder why when we have a lottery here and also the big European one. I’d need a lottery jackpot to afford the tickets for these mad schemes. Finally there’s a lady on Facebook who thinks she and I should be compatible for togetherness. Given that I had to translate the message and given that she appears to be 40 years younger than me and as supple as a circus performer, I don’t think my heart could take it. I suppose I could go with a smile on my face though. I concentrated on the rest of the mail and getting it down to manageable proportions before I go out.

Because I know time sometimes runs away with me I brought everything to a halt at 6.00 am, got dressed and went through to the kitchen. Everything looks fine. The albino must have learned his lesson after the staring competition the other day. There he was sitting atop the bridge looking in my direction with that hang-dog look and sad -but still red- eyes. I fed them and backed of and somehow skidded on a patch of water on the floor going down quite heavily on my rump. Just as well I had my wallet in my back pocket, but I do wish I hadn’t got coins in it too. There seemed to be lots of bubbles rising in the fish tank. But surely that’s not possible?……….                                   After taking my meds to restore the semblance of sanity on my face I took my coffee back to the bedroom and picked up where I’d left off with the mail. It was fortunate that there was nothing more to upset me as I was still practising a smile instead of a grimace in th reflection on the screen. I was doing one thing and the reflection was doing the other which was quite disturbing.

At 7.20 am I donned my jacket and gloves to ensure I wasn’t rushing at the last minute and took a chance on one more message. It was one that required a comment and I was going along blithely until I saw the time….7.30 am.  I flew to the door, attached the crutches and started to go out when I remembered I had a bag to take. How sensible of me to have placed it near the door in readiness. How stupid of me to have opened the door and hidden it. I was still in time for the bus. I sent Yvonne a text to let her know the journey had started and then leaned on the arm grip of the crutch with my chin and nodded off. It wasn’t to last long as the bus didn’t take the first corner too smoothly and I was almost deposited on the floor. Then Yvonne texted back to say she was leaving home to meet me. The rest of the journey was uneventful and I arrived safely to be met by Yvonne and by Reuben who was pointing madly and smiling as I got off the bus. I liked Yvonne’s bright idea that we go and have a breakfast and a drink instead of having something heavy later. Reuben had toast and jam, Yvonne had a short french stick with sausage and egg and I had something too with a cup of tea.

From the pub cafe we went to try and find some jumpers for Reuben. They came in such styles as ladies leggings, ladies tops and ladies tights, but nothing remotely little boy jumper style. From there Yvonne wanted to take a dress to be repaired and as we were passing a large jewelers shop, she took my watches in to see how much it would cost to have the batteries replaced. £8.99 each was the quote but if the seals needed doing they’d have to go away. A 2 year guarantee on each. I told her we’d think about it. Yvonne left me to have a cigarette while she took her dress in and I noticed a smaller chain who deal in shoe repairs and key cutting now do watch repairs. When Yvonne returned she took the watches in there. She was in so long I thought my luck was in, but when she came out she carried a list. She quoted £16.95 for each of the large watches and £9.95 for the small one. The large ones could have their battery replaced free of charge at any time after this first charge and the smaller one was covered for just 12 months. Oh, and to replace the scratched glass on one watch would be £29.95. I declined. From there we went round to the Market where there is a nice little jeweler, the same question was asked again, No problem, £3.99 each for the two larger and £3 for the small which included the seals. “Just give me ten minutes” he said.

I nipped to the loo and gave Yvonne some money to buy us drinks in the market cafe. Not fantastic but thirst quenching. Reuben certainly needed it judging by the way he attacked Yvonne’s drink. We took him to the pet shop to see the rabbits and assorted small critters as well as the budgies and parakeets. He was fascinated as was I having a real soft spot for budgies. They didn’t have any rats. On going back for the watches I could see he was struggling a bit with the last one, the biggest in getting the strap back on. Everyone seems to have a problem with it but it’s really quite simple and clever if you just follow the arrows imprinted in the leather strap. Eventually it was done. I’m so pleased. Coming down the exitfrom the market which was filled with shops I was suddenly hit in the face by a beautiful butterfly. As it moved away I pointed it out and Yvonne said “That’s mum” and held her arm out. The butterfly came back and landed on her. I could see her hand shaking as she kept repeating “This is mum, this is mum.” It finally flew off before she could take a photograph on her phone. Still a bit shaken we decided to go for a drink and a cake. We had to go upstairs in the cafe and Reuben decided he’d been quiet too long and set up a screech to pierce eardrums. Only the waitress could make him smile, his mum and I were out of favour for some reason. Yvonne decided on a vanilla slice with a cup of tea, I settled on a milk shake and some potato cakes, Reuben had a teasted toecake but already had a drink in his pram. He settled down. From there they walked me to the bus stop and a horrifyingly crowded bus and waved me off. Reuben didn’t look at all happy. I know how he felt actually as Yvonne is standing up to me too well these days and I hadn’t bought anyone anything all day.

At home it was straight into battle once I’d let her know I was home safely. There was so much mail I didn’t leave my seat until 5.15 om. Mind you, I didn’t return to it until 8.00 pm and here I’ve been ever since with mail and the blog to do. It’s a hard life but someone has to do it.

Happy at Play

Happy at Play

At the Zoo

At the Zoo

 

Wednesday. 3.42 am saw the start of my day though I wasn’t necessarily fully awake. I was being led by my bladder. By the time I’d come back I was wide awake and there was no point in going back to bed. I just turned the computer on and got to work. It seems that Medium Tara (or whatever size she is)  is giving me perhaps the twentieth ‘last chance’ to write and request my lucky numbers or whatever is going to improve my life. One of the greatest improvements would be if she stopped writing to me. Trouble is you don’t know it’s her until you open the post. I’ve tried marking hers as spam in the past. I was actually clear of messages just before 6.00 am and decided as it’s games night and I might not have tea, that I’d have a breakfast today. So, once my very well behaved fish were fed, cough. and I’d taken my meds I slipped some bread in the toaster and waited. And waited. Then I turned the toaster power on and waited again. My coffee was done before the toast so I enjoyed the first sip of the day before the toast popped up. I buttered and applied strawberry jam and enjoyed every mouthful of the two slices.

Back at my desk I caught up on the mil that was still coming through until at 8.30 am I got dressed and at 9.00 am took a walk to Pauline’s for my TV mag. some cigarettes and some baps. Coming home I had the Twix that must have accidentally fallen into my carrier bag and did some more mail, thanking those who regularly re-tweet for me. I also had an offer from Vista Print from whom I’ve not had anything for ages. With Christmas in  mind I actually ordered 6 desk calendars for my son’s mother back in Nigeria (Hmmm) and for his brothers and sisters. All different pictures of Reuben looking bright and happy. So, I’ve officially made a start now. If any of you get adverts from them but haven’t tried them, or see an advert for them, it’s worth a look. Having pictures put on tee-shirts, on shopping bags or even making special cards using your pictures can make great gifts. There are lots of other things of course including your business cards which as an author you should always have since it can carry information on your website or blog to keep people updated. Right, advert over, back to work. I try very hard to re-tweet things for other authors who often need all the help they can get so I spent the rest of the morning on that with one break when I started doing pirouettes round the house much to the surprise of the fish. The postman had just delivered a cheque from the insurance company  and they’re obviously not questioning anything other than the expected, value of the Albert, cash stolen, some prices etc. At 11.30 am though I knocked off to get ready for lunch and for my programme. That would keep me away until 1.00 pm. Or should have done.

I woke up at 2.12 pm in my chair in the lounge. I think someone put something in my lunch. I must thank them.  I’d just got back to the computer when I had a text off Lee to say he was coming tonight. Great, I don’t see enough of him. I ploughed into the mail which had obviously been coming in steadily since I left. Nothing stupid thank heavens. I was still fairly elated at getting a cheque albeit not for very much, but it will allow me to replace things now. I wanted to be as clear as possible for this evening so I worked till 5.00 pm. I’d just gone through to the kitchen to prepare mugs when Lee arrived. Bless him, he’d brought me his spare tablet. Just a 7″ one but with good  specs ( since he is a programmer). I said I’d give it back as soon as I got a new one but he told me to keep it and wouldn’t let me buy it from him. So, it’s one item I don’t have to replace and I’m OK with my watches now since the Fossil ones I bought work fine ( so far). I’m even questioning replacing the Albert as I wear it so rarely I could use the cash elsewhere. He even set it up for me. I do love my nephew very much.

It was almost 6.00 pm before Dil and Matt arrived due to horrific traffic. I sorted their drinks out and gave Matt his biscuit supply. They were open before I could blink. We got the table out and I produced the Balderdash to play and some new sheets to use with it. The first game went so swiftly and modesty prevents me from saying I WON. No-one was near me. The second game started a bit slower for me but again I have to allow my natural modesty to come to the fore, yes I WON AGAIN!!!!! Time to change games so I drew up for Nomination Whist. I think I did the first four or five hands without getting my call and Dil was really flying. Suddenly a burst of wins put me in contention and by the end Dil was down to third place and yes, it was me again. It was impossible to dance round the floor with the furniture in the way so I settled for crowing instead. Quite satisfying. It was time for Lee to go so I gave him my thanks and wished him goodbye ( and better luck next time). Then I dealt a hand of Crazy 8’s as there was still half an hour before Dil and Matt go. Things did not go my way at all and though I didn’t lose he game, I didn’t win either. I’m so unlucky ! As Dil got up to go he told me it would be Thursday night next week as he’s running his wife to the airport on the Wednesday. I said it would be kinder to take her in the car but maybe it’s a fitness thing?

After they left it was the usual tidy up, washing up and taking my tablets before I could come back through. The mail has been horrific which is of course down to you lot keep writing things on blogs etc. Some people have no self control. It’s now 11.45 pm and I still have mail to finish. Night All.

Mummy said it's a rhino sorea**e I think.

Mummy said it’s a rhino sorea**e I think.

 

Zoo baby 5

 

 

Thursday. 3.51 am and for the sake of my tootsies I turned the light on as I stumbled to the loo. I can’t imagine what it would do to the village to be woken by a bloodcurdling scream as I stubbed my toe so I was swearing my slippers for protection. As I stumbled back on the return journey I slipped my dressing gown  on because it was definitely cool. I did my banking first this morning to make sure my pension had gone in. I know it’s selfish but I thought I might eat next week too. That done I turned to my mail only to be assaulted almost as I signed in. A message from the NatWest tells me that because I have not responded to their request for information my fictitious account has now been suspended. It’s the first time I’ve been mad to feel guilty for not doing something I shouldn’t have done anyway.  The conmen are getting more audacious by the minute. There were some interesting messages too like one from a friend which suggested I have 3 angels looking after me. If only I would send the message on to five more people within the hour. Dire consequences befall me should I not pass it on. Not only do I dislike these chain mail threats but I dislike them even more when religion is brought into them. Though she and I can discuss our religious differences we both know we’re at opposite ends of the polar spectrum. Maybe she actually believes the threats in which case I should forgive her.

At 6.00 am I went through to the kitchen. As I turned on the light I saw a flash of white in the tank. I went over slowly and turned the tank light on. My pal the albino cory was lying under the bridge sides heaving from the effort of flight attempting to portray himself as innocent. Believe me it’s quite hard to look innocent when your eyes are that red. I knew he’d come from the direction of the filter but couldn’t see what he’d done or what was different. Seconds later I glimpsed movement from the corner of my eye. One of the smaller plecs  emerging from the mouth of the filter and creeping surreptitiously across the back glass to remain unnoticed. I don’t know if there was a sabotage attempt or a rescue attempt but there was definitely something very ‘fishy‘ about it. I took my meds and made a coffee which I carried back to the computer where I carried on working until 8.00 am when I got dressed. I couldn’t decide whether I was brave enough to take my cheque into town and pay it in. I could look for a tablet case at the same time. The problem is it’s market day and probably very crowded. Ah, but will it be crowded early? I put my shoes on ready to leave at 9.00 am then took them off again. I did a couple more messages then put my shoes back on. As 9.00 am came I made myself go out. A bus came and I was part way on before I realised it’s not my usual one and it’s very crowded. Lucky for me there was one twin seat free but I had to walk past three seats on either side to reach it. Why didn’t I leave my shoes off?

When we arrived in town the bank wasn’t open. I checked and saw it opened it’s doors at 9.30 am. With ten minutes to waste I walked up the high street behind the market and came back down in front of the stalls. There weren’t many stalls and there weren’t too many people. It did look like rain was threatening so maybe that was why. I found 3 picture frames diminishing in size but no tablet cases. That will have to wait until my expedition with Mike. As I got down the street the bank was open and I went in. I was the only customer. While I filled in the paying in book another two customers came in but they were going as I was ready so it really was a quick in and out for me. In 3 working days the cheque  will have cleared. Back up town again to the bus station where I can have a smoke while I’m waiting. Had I not been alone ( and if I’d remembered chocolates) I would have gone to Kassidy’s for a drink. I was home for 9.50 am and the only passenger on the downward journey. As I was coming round I saw my postman Darren who called to say he had a parcel. I told him I’d be home in a minute. I’d got my jacket and shoes off before he arrived and handed me a box and a postcard. The postcard had been posted at the same time as the other one I received over a week ago, the difference, the other one was placed in an envelope. It had a beautiful view of Andalucia and I got straight on to let Lottie know it had finally arrived. The box contained a hat brush I ordered for Mike, or rather for his hats.

I worked until lunchtime which today was a crown of chicken with sweet potato mash and petit pois. I was watching my antiques show while I was eating and thinking how much I’d enjoy doing that. I took my plate through and washed up then settled down to watch the auction. It happened again, I just zonked. I’m sure they have some barely audible commands in the background hypnotising people. I woke at 1.40 pm, turned the TV off and went back to work. I got to about 3.00 pm when my stomach made noises like the plumbing was broken and I had to dash. In fact I had 4 dashes before 5.00 pm and missed some of my second antique programme of the day. I wonder if there’s something subversive about antique shows in general? I had some tea which unfortunately was some more of what I’d had for lunch as there was too much at lunch time. Wait for it……THE PROOF, I started to watch my last antique show at 7.00 pm and had to dash again. By the time I came out I was sore, cherry red and vowing never to watch another antique show (until tomorrow).

At 8.00 pm I came back through to the bedroom with one more detour. Here I have been ever since answering messages of one sort or another. One lovely message told me how much a granddaughter had enjoyed my Tall Tales poems and the lovely grandmother offered to put links for it on her blog. So kind. Though I advocate we should be kinder to each other than we are, people constantly surprise me with just how sweet they are. Certain people show their kindness to me day after day giving me hope for the world. I won another Fossil watch tonight but I really must stop now, I already have more watches than I have arms and more than I have cases to put them in too. I must give some thought to birthdays up and coming and to Christmas. Just 90 days to go folks!

Friday. If I ever find myself stuck in a Groundhog Day of today’s I’m jumping under a bus. I managed a little read after getting to  bed last night and turned my light off about 12.30 am. I got up at 1.54 am. I read again until 2.45 then when the yawning got too bad I tried again but was awake at 3.42 am. Convinced that was it I started looking at some work but by 4.40  am I was writing anything at all and even I couldn’t understand it. I wiped it all and decided to go to my chair in the lounge and try there. Success, I nodded off until 5.45 am. By my reckoning just three and a half hours at best. I’d left the computer on so it took no time to start and get into my emails. There were a lot.Thanks peeps!!

I worked till 7.00 am then took  a stroll to the kitchen knowing I needn’t rush now the fish and I are friends. What fish? Nothing at all in sight when I got there. I couldn’t help but remember the small pool of water on the floor that caused me to slip recently. Have they been digging an escape route to the sink and FREEDOM ? That could be why the  albino has been nice to distract me. Almost automatically my hand went out to put food in and one of the plecs broke cover. The sly dogs  cats , they’re doing this to scare me. Carefully I scoured the tank with my eyes until I’d spotted them all including the albino who was wearing a patch of weed like a cloak of invisibility. I’m glad it’s Saturday tomorrow as I’m going back to missing food on that day and they can hide all they want.

I did the usual, tabs, coffee, computer but left the renewing of tablets for the week until later. As I sat at the computer and took a big drink of my Americano I found I’d forgotten to sugar it. Since the mess I’d make spitting the mouthful out would be mine to clean, I forced myself to swallow. Ugh! I thought about dropping a cube of dark chocolate in but my mind rejected that as it’s not especially sweet. It was either go back to the kitchen and get sugar or persevere. I persevered. I got dressed sometime before 9.00 am and when I thought the schoolground mafia had gone from Pauline’s I took a walk over for some bread and some more dreams via the lottery. I came back and started work again.

At 10.05 am there was a knock on the door. I thought maybe the postman had something for me and opened it straight away. “You shouldn’t do that” said a voice I don’t know as I cringed back at the sight of a stranger. I couldn”t hide at that stage, it wouldn’t work so I let him explain that he was from the team doing fire alarm tests, emergency warden intercom tests and checking the property was secure with alarms in case I got burgled. Presumably he didn’t know he was here precisely because I had been burgled. The area has now been designated as No Cold Callers so I was issued some warning posters for them which he applied to my door, and a personal alarm for me. He was very pleasant but my nerves were shot. When he finally left I had just sat down when the door went again…..what’s the choice, postman or same man forgetting something? The answer is neither so yet again I was confronted by a stranger. I recognised the uniform and managed to let him in without having to stutter too much. He’d come to service the boiler. It was a pain because given some warning I’d have been prepared for him. As it was I had to drag things out of the airing cupboard to give him access. Everyone tells me I shouldn’t do that but so far they haven’t supplied a personal manservant to do it for me.

I carried on working until halfway through the visit an after he’d been in the loft he told me he needed access to the gas meter. You may remember my quest to have that moved because of the position it holds near the floor in the furthest corner of my inaccessible pit. There’s no way I can’t use that room for storage as was intended. The gas people have said they’ll put me on a smart meter so info goes to them straight away. That’s over 12 months ago now and nothing has happened. I asked them to raise it. They said not to do any lifting but to let their meter readers do it. Yeah, the last one wasn’t willing. As it happens neither was the boiler man so I had to do it again. Then back again once he’d finished of course. I’m sure he was a very nice man but he had the most annoying habit of going dum-de-dum all the time. No recognisable tune and no variation either. I was quite pleased when he left and I was able to grab a cigarette before lunch. Roast beef and red onion baps today.

I watched the auction without falling asleep today and then went back to work afterwards. Two or three messages and then an alarm started on the kitchen window and as I leave the room to check there’s some banging on the window of my room. I just about reached the kitchen and saw the window cleaner had been a bit enthusiastic, which made me understand the noise at the back too now, when there was a knock at the door. One of the team looking for payment. Unless it’s gone up he diddled me too but believe me I just wanted to shut the door. I managed to reach my room when some post came through the door,. In an afternoon, here? Not been known before. I bent down to pick it up and yes, there was a knock on the door. It had to be Darren this time. No, it was the fire alarm safety officer back again to see whether he’s asked me about window alarms. Gordon Bennett, it was his lot that supplied them!!!!!!!!!

Finally peace and quiet and the chance to catch up a bit. I worked until 4.30 pm when the last day of my antique show comes to a head. At 7.oo pm I’d hoped to see the finale of another prog but it wasn’t on so I locked the front door and went for a shower. I’d had another key cut for Mike and given it him last week as he couldn’t find his previous one so he’d be able to get in. When I came out of the bathroom I decided to do a bit of a catch up until Mike arrived but at 8.00 pm I went to the kitchen to prepare his mug. There was a plastic bottle I’d forgotten to move to the recycling so I took it then. I was on my way back when I saw Mike about to knock so I opened the door. “Just as well you were there then” he said. “Where’s your key” I asked. “I didn’t see the point in bringing it if you’re in” was the response. It occurred to me that I could be in, but lying there deceased which wouldn’t help him get in if his bloody key is in Rugby.

I made his coffee and we filled each other in on our eventful week then I stayed and kept him company until 10.00 am when cowardice brought me back to the post. It’s horrific and I had to stop at 11.30 pm to give me chance to get to the blog. It’s now half past midnight and any more will have to wait for tomorrow.

Mike's Dragons

Mike’s Dragons

 

Mike's Coffin Shelves

Mike’s Coffin Shelves

Saturday. I managed to get to bed just after 12.30 am this morning and was determined to have a short read so at 1.15 am I made myself put the book down and step away. I doubt I was long getting to sleep. 

I woke at dead on 5.00 am in full panic mode as I’d no idea just how many messages I’d left unanswered last night. I even forced myself to turn the computer on before I hopped cross legged down the passage towards the loo. When I got back we were ready to go…….ish. I’m afraid not all the sandwiches had made it to the picnic as they say. By the way, who is the THEY that keeps saying things like this? Rude remarks about my mental aptitude will earn a swift clip round the ear.

I worked flat out ( No, that doesn’t mean lying down again) until I heard Mike’s alarm go off which was at 6.55 am. With a sigh so deep it was at the bottom of a well I went to the kitchen to start the day proper. As I turned on the kitchen light I glanced at the tank. Two plecs on the glass at the front and the albino sitting atop the bridge in such a fashion that if he’d been any more human he’d be swinging his legs. If I had my way he’s certainly be swinging somehow. As I placed food through the slot is head seemed to follow my every move but he didn’t go anywhere. It’s unnerving I tell you, he’s not natural.

I put the stuff in Mike’s cup and flicked the switch on the kettle. While I waited for it to boil ( I didn’t watch it just in case)I took my drugs and made my own drink. I dropped Mike’s coffee off on his bedside cabinet , gave him a shout and carried on through to my room to see to getting dressed. Mike’s alarm went off for the second time and amazingly he got up under his own steam and went through to the lounge. I wished him Good Morning but got no response so I knew he wasn’t awake yet. But, a couple of minutes later I heard him light a cigarette and I knew we were OK. I only had time for a few more messages as I needed to transfer things from one jacket to another, make sure I restocked my food tablets and get the shopping list I so often leave behind.  I looked round and my jaw dropped, Mike was standing there fully dressed, eyes open and with his coat and hat on, tapping his foot in a ‘Why are we waiting’ kind of way. I got my skates on ( not literally) and made ready to go. We reached the supermarket the earliest we have done in ages.

We went straight for flowers this week as I didn’t need potatoes. Then it was round the children’s clothing sale but Reuben was out of luck unless he changes sex and then to look at the gents clothing before finally heading towards food. Sticking anything easy to do in my basket it was like watching the 1000 m final at the Olympics. We were at the checkout in no time at all. Once through we decided on a coffee which Mike went to get while I sorted out the cigarette supply. We loaded the car, returned the trolley with which I had a fight as it didn’t want to return the £ coin. No way was I returning to the car without it as it was Mikes and he’d think I’d pocketed it. I’d been wondering about a case for the tablet Lee had given me and we decided on a detour to a shop called B & M which naturally we know as BUM Bargains. There had been a case in the Supermarket at £14.99 which Mike decided perhaps I shouldn’t get after he picked me up from the floor. In BUM we found one at £2.99 which was perfect and was a good make which was handy. I bought it.

From there we headed for Flint where we were able to have a coffee and some banter with Ceri in Temptations. I can’t say it often enough what a delightful, bubbly girl (woman) she is. A quick trip to the frozen food shop and then home to unpack. He passed me the bag with the frozen stuff naturally and left me to put it away. Such a cruel man he is.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         When everything was away I started to try and play catch up with the mail but as fast as I did it, more came in. By the time 1.00 pm came and it was time to go out for lunch, I had almost as many as I started with. Still. it didn’t stop me going. It was quite busy when we got there but Angie seemed glad to see us and had a quick word as well as giving us a kiss each for the sweets we’d brought. I’d also picked her up a little reserved table sign because she liked the one we’d brought in as a joke before. Tariq was in the kitchen but came through for a hug when he saw us (CCTV). Mike had brought a little electrical item for him to work on for him so I left them having a word and went for a pre-lunch smoke. I’d already ordered my gammon, baked potato and side salad. We managed a few laughs while we were there  and then finally headed for home again and the thrill of the computer. I set myself a time limit no matter how much work there was as Mike should have some company. Since they let his cell mates go I thought I’d better be there for him. So at 5.30 pm I went through and stayed there until 8.00 pm. Back in here till 9.00 pm then back out to make some supper for us both.  At 9.30 pm I had to come through knowing I wouldn’t be leaving again tonight.

One of the first treats that caught my eye when I came back through was an email from what seemed a reasonable address but with No Subject in the subject line. I should have known better.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Hi, I’M Christina M Hammock. I am a UNITED STATE Military / Nasa .From united state of America. Am supportive and caring, looking forward to get a nice friend. I will introduce myself better and send you my picture as soon as i receive your mail. Christina                                                                                                                                                                Can anyone tell me what a United State Military/Nasa is? Can you just imagine the unshaven, overweight, ex-truck driver ( or her husband) sitting there sending out this message all over the world trying to reel someone in to a romance followed by a request for her fare to be paid to this country, Oops had to spend the money as my son is in intensive care after a fight with his transvestite lover who needs help with lawyers fees and I don’t have a dress to wear for the hearing…….. It just occurred to me that maybe I could try this to and at least get the spelling right.

Mike is watching some comedy show on the box and it’s getting late so I’m going for another look at the mail. I wish you all a Wonderful New Week.

Thoughtful Leonardo.

Thoughtful Leonardo.

Playful Picasso

Playful Picasso

 

 

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The Fishy Interview & The Collapse of the Coffin Saga

Sunday. I read until about 1.00 am last night before turning off the light and trying for sleep. I’m not sure how well I did or how long it took to attain it but I do remember sitting up very distressed after being out with Ju and losing her somehow. It was very vivid. What else is a little odd about last night is that I woke at 5.10 am sitting upright in my chair in the lounge. Being there isn’t strange, it’s not remembering going there that is almost as though I sleepwalked like I did as a child.

It being Sunday, very dark and grim with the rain from Hurricane Bertha, gifted to us by those kind Americans, bouncing off the pavements, I knew not to expect Michael up anytime yet. At 7.00 am I went through to feel the very grateful and friendly fish, make myself a piece of toast. throw my meds down my throat and make the first coffee of the day. I answered those messages that required it and made comments where necessary on my blog and others and amazingly was done by 8.30 am. Truth to be told I felt tired so decided to go and nod off in my chair again. It turned out to be more a case of resting my eyes than sleeping so I was still awake when Shock, Horror, Mike walked into the room under his own steam at about 9.00 am. I’m afraid I let him make his own coffee and didn’t really engage in much conversation though I did answer him. I just couldn’t open my eyes and didn’t want him asking what was wrong with them.

Last night Mike’s mood had been a bit off. He listed problems with the world, laid the blame where he wanted it and did everything in a raised voice. I’m not going to say he’s all wrong, he’s not, but his manner brooked no argument and unfortunately I’m a bit of a devil’s advocate ( even when I agree with him) trying to be calm and getting him to look at two sides. Perhaps he thought my quietness today was as a result of him flying off the handle.That was OK. Anyway, with the rain belting down outside, he asked what I wanted to do and I wasn’t bothered. Neither was he it seems. I did come up with some options but he thought maybe I’d prefer to work on and keep up to date until lunchtime. I decided to give it a go and returned to my room, but first, EBAY. I found something I thought Mike would enjoy and called him to see it expecting him to look and go. He made space on the edge of my bed and stayed so by the time it came to dress ready to go out for lunch he was still there and so was all my mail. We set off for lunch at 12.20 pm.

Traffic was slow and there were some small floods on the coast road where drains couldn’t keep up the pace. The weather was obviously good for The Ivy as the car park was well used. Luckily though our favourite table was free. Shella was cooking and Tariq was helping her as well as helping Angie wait on tables and make drinks. Their very pretty daughter Amber was helping in the kitchen area too. Angie made our drinks while Mike and I decided on food. Mike, pork, leek and chilli sausages, mash and peas with an apple and chutney dressing and gravy. Coward, pork sausages, mash and peas. While we were waiting we checked to see if Tariq had been able to dismantle Mike’s coffin for transportation. He had so fingers crossed we wouldn’t need he roof down while the rain is bouncing down. Dinner was lovely but there was no chance to chat to anyone today Tariq being so busy especially.I paid the bill and we prepare to leave. Tariq came flying out to help us transport the load to the car and even I did my bit, carrying the head part of the coffin which should go in the boot. Everything went in with the roof up. Yay, only I’d have to sit in the back behind Mike. Tariq gave us hugs and we left.

Mike dropped me off at home, rang his Dad to say he wouldn’t visit today with such a bad storm and then set off home. I was turning the computer on before he’d turned the corner and spent the next four hours there until I was practically straight. I had some toast and a tiny portion of BFG which I shall be forced yet again to finish on my own and then watched antique shows until 8.00 pm. I’m now caught up on mail, post finished and I’m going for a read. Night All.

Oh Mummy, you didn't?

Oh Mummy, you didn’t?

A Picture of Innocence

A Picture of Innocence

 

Monday. 3.07 am this morning and I wondered if it’s worth going to bed anymore, not that I do go to bed since I only lie on the top with the heat as it has been. I worked until almost 6.00 am then found I was tired so I headed for my chair. The fish would have to take a chance on me not being too long. They were lucky, I was up again at 7.10 am. I was even luckier as they didn’t seem to notice the extra few minutes I pinched. I didn’t bother with breakfast as I remembered the sacrifice I was having to make with the BFG. Having to eat the whole thing myself, I thought I might have some for tea. After all, I’ve got a full lemon meringue in the fridge too that has to be eaten. Still, I have broad shoulders and can take up this load.

I brought my coffee back to the bedroom and played catch up with the mail again. I made such headway I even managed to play with a couple of pictures to send to my niece being very careful this time not to send anything that would make her cry. Her boss would find it odd when she leaves crying on a Friday and returns crying on a Monday. When playtime was over I went back to work. I hadn’t bothered to get dressed as I’d no intention of going anywhere but a message from my friend Lis saying she’d pop in changed my mind about dressing. One look at me in my lounge pants and I wouldn’t see her for dust. She was coming at about 11.00 am so I had time to make myself decent and to make a real dent in the mail. I managed the mail anyway. Lis is coming because I let her know there’s an invitation to a birthday party waiting for her.

She arrived almost on time, just fashionably late perhaps by ten minutes. That’s OK as I was able to have a cigarette. Though I spray the room, Lis doesn’t mind too much as she was a smoker herself some twenty years ago and the smell doesn’t offend. I passed her the invitation ( once I’d let her in and seated her) then went to make her a coffee. She was delighted to be invited to Reuben’s 1st and was talking about kidnapping her grandchildren to take. I’ve openly admitted I’m not looking forward to it with all the strangers and their parents too. What if they don’t have jelly and ice cream? I’m hoping to go for lunch first that day and perhaps Mike will drop me off there on his way to his Dad’s, though he is a party animal and might stay a while. My nieces will be there too and may protect me. We had a good old chin wag as we both worked for the same authority and know people in common.

Lis left me at midday and I decided to have lunch and watch my antique programme. I wasn’t especially hungry so stayed with ham and coleslaw sandwiches. See, I still managed my meat and two veg. The programme was quite interesting, two teams of two people and an expert each given £300 to buy three items from an antique fair to then sell at an auction. It always struck me as being the wrong way about as they’re buying at the most expensive venue. Still, the teams bought their items today and each spent less that £100. A good move as the winner is the one who makes the most profit or loses the least. They didn’t seem to spend well today at all and yet one team made 3 profits and one 3 losses. The profits were £47.50 which they get to keep. I should have mentioned that the experts can buy a bonus item with what hasn’t been spent. One made a small profit and the other wiped her face. Sometimes the experts are atrocious including one I understand has now been shipped off to the U.S. to serve as expert on one of their shows. That causes much hilarity over here.

TV over I returned to work for the afternoon. Taking things easy until at 3.30 pm I decided it was time for a siesta which lasted till 4.30 pm. I watched quizzes then until, 6.30 pm and came back to get stuck in so I can skive off at 9.00 pm to see a programme where children or parents find parents or children they were separated from very young. For the children they often need to get answers as to whether they were deserted and unloved while the parents want to know how the children they had to give up have fared. I had my tissues at the ready. So I worked hard to leave me free and hopefully wouldn’t have too much post to do. But as is often the case the gods decided to have a chuckle. I came back all red eyed as you’d expect. It was a  mother, pregnant young, desperate to find the daughter she’s been made to give up almost 40 years ago and a man of almost 50 who wanted so many answers about why he’d been given up for adoption, from his mother…the upsetting part in this one was that though the girl had given her son up, she’d gone on to marry the boys father and then had two more boys. In both instances the reunions were touching and the answers satisfactory to the children. There was a ton of mail waiting as though the post van had watched for me disappearing before dumping a sack load. It’s taken a long time to catch up and I’m tired so it’s off to bed I go.

Tuesday. 3.56 am Today. I decided to conduct a survey of all the occupants temporary and otherwise to see how long it takes them to become fully awake and functioning after waking up. Well, there’s me, and I’m fascinated to see that the moment I wake I’m functioning.No ‘coming round’ time, no ‘I need a coffee first’ time, it’s zero to hero. The fish I had to interview en masse as they were all waiting at 6.00 pm as though they knew food was coming.They said they’re always on the ball as they don’t sleep. I’m not sure whose voice it was that said “Unlike you who wastes all that time every day” but I’m considering short rations.  Sarcasm, because it’s no longer legal to beat someone up. I wonder if the fish wrote that. Michael was the last to be interviewed and all I got was a couple of grunts. So much for the intelligent species.

I actually did well this morning and had the post cleared for 6.00 am when I went to the fish. I even had time to write a piece on the new blog about Robin Williams, another tortured comedian to go far too early. The same age as me in fact.I couldn’t be bothered with breakfast but decided I’d have some toast when Yvonne and I meet up for coffee. I can take my food tablets then. So, I just shoveled the normal meds down and took my coffee through. I got dressed for the weather since the internet and my phone app both show Chester and here as having a bright but showery day with heavier outbreaks this afternoon. By 7.20 am I was up to date again . Time to struggle into the backpack and pick up the bag of Ugo’s birthday gifts for tomorrow.I got as far as the crossing and who should stop to let me cross but my bus. As soon as I was over it shot off and carried on uphill to the stop. I mention this because I’m heavily clothed, laden with bags, using crutches and about to start slogging uphill to catch the bus that was just next to me. When I finally got there the driver said,” You should have stopped me I’d have let you get on there”. He sees me take the bus almost weekly? I texted Yvonne to let her know I’d made it and would be there in three quarters of an hour and I’d meet her half an hour after that. I hadn’t done half the journey when I got a text to say she was there early, how far away was I? A bloody long way was my answer.

We met up at 9.00 am in the cafe and Reuben saw me coming and broke into a big grin. He knows a victim when he sees one. I drew the short straw and had to hold him while Yvonne went to order. She came back with the drinks and put the wriggling monster in a high chair, he wasn’t happy and his lungs clearly told us so along with the rest of the City. Then toast and jam arrived and you could hear a pin drop. I enjoyed mine but of course totally forgot about tablets. Ah well, I’ll just have to have some of that lemon meringue for tea that I’been left to eat on my own.( sob). We moved on from the cafe to see if we could find something for me to give Reuben to unwrap on his birthday. Since his real gifts, a ball pool with balls is already at their house it won’t be going to his party. He has some nice coloured trousers I got a few weeks ago so Yvonne suggested a top in complimentary colours. I agreed so we went to look. Naturally today there was every colour but or his size was missing. I ended up getting a nice teddy bear with something like ‘A gift from Grandad’ on it.

We trogged around another shop and bought a few small gifts and odd items before heading off to Tesco’s to get some fresh bread and a few other items. That seemed to take a while so it was lunch time when we got out. By the door there was a man with a bucket on which was written abandoned dogs. I threw £1 in and do you know he didn’t give me one. I should do him under the trades descriptions act.

A place we’d eaten at in the dim and distant had closed down. Today we found it had reopened under new ownership and decided to give it a try. Very spacious inside and with a very helpful member of staff who took our order for drinks to give us time with the menu. When he came back decisions had been made. Yvonne was going to have a duck wrap, “Oh sorry, I think that’s off the menu today,” odd, because that’s where I found it. Ok then, Yvonne will have the prawn wrap on wholemeal , side salad and an order of chips. I will have the beef sandwich with a side salad and chips, hold the horseradish but yes to onions and mustard. He came back twice to check whether Yvonne wanted white or wholemeal, we were the only customers and he forgot! He asked how I wanted my steak sandwich and I reminded him I’d ordered beef sandwiches not the steak. When it arrived they’d held the horseradish, the mustard and the onions and I got crisps not chips. But the beef was glorious, so thickly cut and succulent all it needed was a little salt.

We left there and went to pick some milk for Reuben and intended to go our separate ways then. Unfortunately I saw the word Reductions written across the window of a shop so be fair, we had to check it out. In the end all I got was a teeshirt for Mike. We hugged and Yvonne headed off to change for work. Reuben was looking a bit bewildered and waving to me as they left. I crossed the road for my bus stop but realised Yvonne forcibly dragging me into that last shop had made me miss the one I’d intended to get. Gritting my teeth I faced the crowds and headed for the bus station to catch an alternative. I only had to wait 20 minutes.As it was the bust that took the longer route it took an hour and twenty minutes to get me home. The rain that I’d dressed for was bright, warm sunshine and I was very uncomfortable. I was also uncomfortable dropping off on the bus and then the driver would stop and I’d move forward and be woken up. And a little girl and mum got on. The mother parked the pushchair just in front of me in the space available. She was a bright smiley little thing but every time I nodded she shouted “Yerch” or something and that brought me back again.

I was in at 4.00 pm and spent until 6.00 pm catching up before having a ham sandwich ( with tablets) and a portion of lemon meringue while I watched Law and Order. Straight back in here to attack the other 100 or so messages with more coming in all the time. I was up to date before starting this and now it’s back for a last assault before bed.

Tit for Tat- He started it!

Tit for Tat- He started it!

Wednesday.This will of necessity, If I’m to get any sleep tonight be a very short post. It was a 3.05 am start  followed by a 5.20 am finish. A few Zzzz’s floated through the lounge from my chair  before starting afresh at 6.50 am with the ritual feeding of the fish and the other morning routines. At 9.30 am I went to Pauline’s for baps and cigarette supplies before tonight’s visit. I worked all morning to lunchtime at midday and had some TV treats till 1.30 pm. Again I started work and was kept going until 4.40 pm when I got to see the end of a quiz.

The card sharps arrived at 5.30 pm and watched the end of a quiz while I made drinks. Then started the games. Two of scrabble. First blood to me and the second game to Matt with me being placed third. Oh the shame of it. Nomination next which Dil won easily with me languishing in third again. Finally Crazy 8’s where despite a great start I completed my hat-trick and came last. They went home grinning. Wash up, tidy up.

187 messages between finishing on the computer and getting back here which has made it difficult to catch my breath. It’s gone midnight and I want some sleep so I’m off now. I’ll try and get back to leave a music video tomorrow but I’m off out with Mujo so don’t hold your collective breaths.

Thursday.3.17 am today so maybe things have settled again. I’d hoped for longer as last night was fairly late but maybe I dropped off quickly. I don’t remember. The landing didn’t hurt either. (Sorry, it’s been a day for terrible humour today, and the day’s not even over). I paid a visit to the loo and decided to sit this morning as my hand was shaking a bit. Mike would say I’m letting my feminine side show again…too much, though I notice the seat is always down in a morning when he’s here.

I started work and since there was a smaller gap between me finishing last night and starting again this morning there weren’t as many messages as possible. I was able to delete three straight away from my main account as they were all headed ‘Please keep confidential’ which is the latest title used by the Nigerian con artists. One ‘Your account is suspended’ went the same way too. Just before 6.00 am I’d caught up and sat back in my chair for a cigarette. Big mistake, this chair isn’t as stable as my old one and I almost went a*** over elbow. I had to decide whether to face the fish early or to take a more leisurely approach. Since I swear they know what I’m doing before I do I thought it better to feed them first. The three plecs were waiting stuck to the glass like sentries so I wasted no time and with a cheery “Good morning” I fed them.

I went to take my food tabs and prepare for toast and coffee then took the rest of my morning meds. By the time I’d smoked another cigarette it was time to turn the toaster on and crisp up some bread from Tuesday rapidly going hard. As the coffee brewed on my wonderful Tassimo  ( Kenco medium roast today ) the toaster shot my breakfast six inches into the air and I played catch. All I caught were three burned fingers. At least it was hot enough to melt the butter nicely. I bit into it, or maybe I should say I tried. The crust was like rock and I nearly lost my remaining tooth. And that’s the tooth, the whole tooth and..well you get the picture. I had to go all dainty and find the chain saw to take the crusts off. What remained was small but perfect. I swallowed the after meal tabs and took my drink to the lounge where I wriggled a comfortable place on the cushion with my bottom, drank my coffee, closed my eyes and nodded off. Bliss.

I recovered consciousness at 7.45 am and went back to work with a new lease of life. As I did the work more came in. Nothing too much but I knew the box needed to be clear when MuJo arrived as it would be a while before I got back to it. I got dressed about 9.30 am in case they arrived early and nearly had to get changed again when there was a huge THUD. The postman had delivered a thick Christmas catalogue. Knowing I had no time to look at it I put it on the arm of the settee unthinkingly. I was up to date at 10.40am when I went through to the kitchen and saw Mujo approach.As it looked fairly warm out and John was in teeshirt I prepared cold drinks. John took one look at the catalogue and tore off the wrapper to see what special offers there were. Muriel told him off saying maybe I’d like to be the first and then picked up some photographs off the table and started looking through those until John finished looking at the ‘special’ pages and handed them over to her. For a few minutes I might not have been here. John was very complimentary about the photo wall and Muriel commented how much my father looked like his mother until I pointed out it was my mother’s mother and they didn’t have a car.( Go on, it’ll come to you. lol).

Not long after they got here there was a sound outside and Muriel asked if it was the binmen. Before I could answer there was a knock at the door and it was the gasman come to read the meter which was supposed to have been changed for a smart meter at least 6 months ago. Next time he’ll have to do his own scrambling to reach the meter and maybe they’ll get the job done. Two minutes after he’d gone a large delivery van drew up and Muriel said it was coming here. It turned out to be the bookcase I’d ordered earlier in the week for delivery tomorrow. I shouldn’t have carried it. We left about 11.15 to head towards lunch but also because I wanted to look for some postcards to send to a friend in Spain. I can’t believe how hard it is to find postcards in my town where there is a sacred well centuries old. Eventually I found some and took them to the post office to get stamps for them. A flight to Spain to deliver them would be cheaper. We went to John’s favourite chippie for lunch where he and I had liver and Muriel just a piece of chicken. It was very filling. From there John went to a charity shop ( where I bought a lovely magazine rack two weeks ago) and bought himself an oil painting of two galleons at war. Then Mu who I think had been buying some potatoes joined us and we went to the car and headed for Flint. The first job on arrival was to visit my favourite shop to buy chocolates for Temptations. As soon as I’d done that we could go for a drink. Ceri was in and she was grateful as they were all in a chocolate mood she told me. Lucky it was a big box then.

After drinks we did a few more shops without buying much and then headed back to my place. Once in I opened a small tub of ice cream and shared it between the two of them and had one of my dark choc ices. We nattered on for a while until they decided it was time to go at 4.45 pm. I waved them off and from that time on I was glued to the chair until 7.00 pm when I went to watch two old episodes of MASH. The humour is still as crisp as ever even though the war isn’t Korea these days. After that I took my evening meds and came through to finish my night’s work, which I haven’t forgotten means I owe a song from yesterday too.

Friday. When I woke at 3.07 am this morning I knew I was still tired but I wouldn’t get back to sleep just then. Fair enough, perhaps I will after doing some emails, I thought. I worked until 5.45 am and decided since I had the upside down imprint of my keyboard across my forehead that I’d give it a go. It took a while to do it but I dd . I nodded off in my chair and didn’t wake until 8.00 am. I knew this fish weren’t going to like the delay but I still hesitated and took my drug drawer through with me. After taking my morning meds I started filling the boxes with meds for the next week. I replaced empty boxes with new ones I’d ordered Monday and turning round to dispose of the empty foils what did I see? The fish, I’d forgotten them again. That became my next job and they studiously ignored me by sticking their heads against the end of the tank furthest from me. Stuck up little beggars I thought but wasn’t about to voice it. I took my food tab next and had a cigarette to time me for making the toast and eating it. I made a coffee whilst the bread toasted. Having eaten the toast I took my after food meds and took my coffee through.

As it was now 8.45 am it was time to be dressed which I did before doing some more mail. At 9.45 am I took a walk to Pauline’s for milk in case Mike is coming this weekend and renewed my lottery tickets. I also sent off the first of my three postcards to Espana. Coming home again I put the milk away and decided to clean my Tassimo that had shown the red light at breakfast. It normally takes about 20 mins and I was getting rather worried at 40 mins before it finally finished at 45 mins. Then I had to rinse things and set the machine to clear itself…. at least 4 times it said so that the whole job took over an hour. By now it was fast approaching lunch time so I cleared up my post and at 11.45 am took some micro-chips through to the kitchen. Again I took a pre food tablet them placed some ham on my plate and finally had a cigarette to time myself. Finally I was able to put the chips in and butter myself a bap. Ham. chips and petit pois was a nice meal especially since the bap was nice and soft for a chip butty.

I enjoyed my lunch and was ready to watch my antiques show. I must have been halfway through when I found my eyelids needed checking again. I wasn’t away for long as I was awake for the auction but I thought of how embarrassing it could have been just 15 minutes sooner. I’d have an impression of my face in the peas and funny green buboes all over my face. I turned the TV off and came back to work. Strange , no message from Mike, it must be that he’s gone to his Dad’s first to help him find shoes so I’ll probably see him about 7.00 pm. I worked steadily through the afternoon and finally got a message at 5.00 pm to say he’s on his way but from Rugby so it’ll be three hours before I see him. By 6.15 pm I’d had enough so grabbed an ice lolly and went to watch some of the European Athletics. I felt so sorry for the competitors performing in the rain. At 7.00 pm I went for a shower and shock, horror, I had to was my own hair this week. If you’re not eating and don’t have a weak stomach try to imagine a 6ft fella bending double in a very small space so he can wash his hair upside down and try to keep his balance at the same time. Mission successful though very uncomfortable but no angina attack. I did however have an Olympic swimming pool on the floor outside the shower. Drat! I may need to work on this a bit.

Mike arrived at minutes past eight and was in annoying mood from the start.”Whoever it is has won the bet” he said pointing at my Mr. Men lounge pants.  I heard all about his battle with the coffin bookcase and felt guilty about mentioning mine. Mind you, he hasn’t mentioned any help yet either. I watched an NCIS episode with him though I didn’t hear it as the mouth was on top form. I listened to him say he’s got a lot of time off in the next two weeks and threaten me with spending it here. He knows all about low blows. Then I came through to start work and he’s been in three times to disturb me and stop the creative flow ( or that’s my excuse anyway). He mentioned that he has been convinced for a long time that the Bjork song It’s oh so quiet is a remake but couldn’t remember who’d done it. Today he finally found out and I had to be treated to a listen. My mistake when I said surely whoever it was wouldn’t scream like Bjork. So, dear friends, guess what piece of music from 1951 I’m going to leave you with tonight. A song as old as me!

Saturday. 4.45 am came the rising of the lark this morning. It must have been a little foggy out as he came to the surface coughing and spluttering though being the perfect gentleman he is, he did keep one wink over his beak so as not to disturb other little birdies.  Excuse me while I roll round the floor in merriment and mirth for a minute at that thought. Armageddon wouldn’t disturb certain little birdies. I checked my lottery first and once the tears had dried started on the mail . There was quite a bit but I was in high hopes of finishing before we went out by using the old formula eeny meeny miney moe to decide which ones I binned. I settled on anything with a vowel in the first word.

At 6.30 am I was quite close but decided to break away to get dressed ready for depositing the rubbish outside. I couldn’t face breakfast so went straight into battle with the fish who I’m quite sure knew it was Saturday and a no feeding day  as they were swimming round in circles with little placards saying ‘Eekwul Rites 4 Fush Fish’. Look I know they go round in schools but I never said they were intelligent, just sly.I could see the bubbles coming from their mouths but mercifully could not hear the chant so gave up and fed them. I had my meds and grabbed the food waste to take out, collecting the paper, tin and plastic on the way then deposited them at the end of the path. It was approaching 7.00 am so I put the stuff in Mike’s cup and boiled the kettle. It’s not true what they say by the way, a watched kettle does boil, and just as it did the alarm rang. Just as Mike turned his alarm off and before he could fully regain deep sleep I announced his drink quite cheerfully (and loudly).There was a definite OK in the grunting somewhere so I grabbed my own drink and went back to work until the alarm rand again or until I threw a cup of water, whichever came first. I brought the mail up to date, YAY. My timing was perfect, the alarm sang again and I called in his door about not letting his coffee go cold. “Ohyesohyesohyesohyes” he said and the legs swung to the edge. Hard luck for him that I’d already departed before those toenails could pin me to the wall like a butterfly.

I know you’ll be shocked to hear that we left the house a tad later than 7.45 am and were well on the way to our destination before the eight o’clock warning came on the radio. At five past I was at the cash machine hoping the bank manager was off duty today.It didn’t take very long to do the shopping. I thought putting food in the basket would just encourage him. We stopped for coffee as my mouth was very dry and I hadn’t brought any pastilles out. Then as I stopped for cigarettes Mike who was desperate to smoke one went outside and loaded the bags into the car. This break in routine was to prove costly later.

We headed for Flint so Mike could drool over and banter with Ceri at Temptations. I have to say there are few men who wouldn’t drool. First though we walked over to buy chocolates for the girls and to pick up a few odds and sods here and there.That was when we discovered Mike had left the rest of my shopping bags on the handle of the trolley at the supermarket.  Ceri wasn’t on the counter when we went into Temptations but young Kyle made our drinks without having to ask what was wanted. We’re like furniture in that place now. Ceri appeared from upstairs where she’d been making sandwiches and immediately began saying hello to everyone. So many regulars now. She was telling us she’s due to go away soon on an activity holiday and has to use a trampoline which sen Mike into paroxysms of delight at the thought. A lot of laughter later we moved on. I picked some choc ices up from the frozen food shop then we headed home. I mentioned to Mike I’d found out a road we knew connected with another road we knew…unbeknownst to us. We detoured and followed it. We unpacked and put away then Mike did Ju’s flower while I tried to catch up on mail…the Internet WAS DOWN (sob). It took ages to figure out I’d knocked a wire and to get things going again so that when we left for lunch I had still got a long list.

We arrived at the Ivy to find someone (Tariq) had started putting up a fence either side of the entrance to make it look nicer and more welcoming. It was an excellent job. We sat down inside and it was fairly busy. Angie was serving at the counter and it seemed Tariq was assisting in the kitchen as well as serving the food. Angie made our drinks and as we got them Tariq brought an order out and came to say hello. He asked Mike about the coffin bookshelf and whether it had gone up OK and as per instructions. So began a saga that included visual representations by knife and fork. It seems the sides had attached to the top fine and the base to the sides.It appears the first three shelves from low to high had gone in nicely but when the last shelf had to be forced into position and Mike had started screwing ( I really shouldn’t use that term in connection with him) it appears the top had sprung on one side leaving the screws in the wood and the top split where the screws had been. My eyes glazed over but Tariq being the nice man he is offered to redo that section again. We had the company of an elderly gentleman at our table for lunch which meant that for 5 minutes the conversation was a lower key than it often is. It didn’t last long and he was soon joining in.

Lunch over we came home again and I had no excuse not to start work again. I stayed at it until about 6.15 pm then made some tea for us and watched a bit of TV but at 9.00 pm I had to excuse myself again and come back. I’ve done as much as I can for tonight so I’ll just wish you all a Great New Week and send Hugs Galore.

First Shoes

First Shoes

How do they look Mummy?

How do they look Mummy?

 

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