Helloooo Monday and all you lovely people. I have a terrible confession, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to see my shoes when I’m standing up unless I happen to be swinging one of my legs back and forth. My stomach looks like a camel going out expecting a six week drought at least. Mike’s stomach is no smaller and I tease him about it as he teases me. It got to me yesterday though when he pointed out that I eat twice as much as him at lunchtime. I’m sure it isn’t every meal, just Sunday’s where I help myself to food after I’ve been given meat. I know what the trouble is, I love potatoes and just recently they’ve been doing 3 lots, boiled new potatoes, mash and roast potatoes. I shall have to make an effort to cut down. The silly thing is I had some trousers in a 38″ waist that seemed big and I thought they were just generous but on checking I have no problems fitting a 36″ now. Dare I go any smaller and have to buy new trousers opening myself up to fresh scorn. I’ll keep you abreast as to whether I can exercise food control during this week.
Mike’s friend emphasises his Pregnant Pause.
Because of comments on my last post (nothing to do with me catching an afternoon snooze that lasted for 2 hours) I was late to bed last night and read until 12.30 am before trying to settle. I was back up at 2.23 am ready and raring to go. Not exactly the feeling I was enjoying at 6.30 am when I needed to get dressed to leave the house at 7.00 am for my bus.I’d faded enough to put a brown jumper with black trousers but that only lasted until I opened my eyes. The fresh air would revive me and I could nod on the bus as long as I didn’t sail past Yvonne at the other end. Well I didn’t sail past and they met me at the bus stop as I got off. A kiss off Yvonne , a big hug from Reuben and permission to kiss Amelie’s forehead. We went first to the supermarket that has a Costa so I could nip to the loo before refilling again. As I came out of the loo I could seem Amelie was out of her pushchair and she was enjoying a run around, Yvonne was at the counter getting the drinks. As the drinks arrived Amelie calmed down walked round the table and gave me a kiss. It quite made my day. We had a nice drink though I was jealous that I didn’t get a flake on my saucer like some people did. We had a good mooch round the shops where in a sale I actually bought some chinos for £2. I found a nice little cardigan for Amelie. Ami refused me a kiss for my journey home so I think she must have decided I’d had my ration for the day.
Wednesday was marked by my falling asleep in the afternoon (when I should have been working) and Dil had been sitting there laughing at me for quarter of an hour before I woke. I was prepared to blame him for fixing the cards in his favour but then I won. Overall the night was mine, so much so that I’m prepared to allow the use of his name in my presence this week. Yahtzee was a draw at 6 games each but Nomination whist and cribbage just slid into my grasp easily.
Unruly kids? Rent a lobster pot.
Thursday. I ordered a Welsh flag and the flag of St David on Monday ready for the 1st of March. They were delivered today. I lost a neighbour last year and he celebrated every St. David’s day with both flags run up a flagpole outside his door. I think the flagpole went with his children. This year I’m the old man with the flags except mine will be indoors hanging in the window of the lounge and the kitchen. Cymru am byth. Sharon came in the afternoon and gave me a thorough cleaning. Those feather dusters don’t half tickle. Mike turned up in the evening before I’d had chance to lock and barricade the door. He almost had me choking when he asked me to make sure he’s up for 6.00 am tomorrow as he needs to be in Manchester early. I’m sure anyone who’s read this blog before knows that I ‘try’ to get him up at that time on a Saturday morning and that I consider eating suppositories fun by comparison. I wonder if I should do it and then tell him not to come back so I can avoid repetition and frustration on Saturday.
After Music Class, Playing the Cornet.
Friday started with me trying to get Mike up for 6.00 am. This was even worse that it is on a Saturday but he was supposed to be out of the house by 7.00 am. I did manage it but at 6.55am he was still sitting in the lounge with a coffee and not dressed for the outside. As he left the room I must have nodded off and when I woke at 7.10 am he’d gone. I returned to work which I’d started early this morning. Being the rebel that I am, when I got dressed at 9.00 am I didn’t put any socks on. I know how to live on the edge. When it came to undressing for a shower later the time saved by this one act made it all worthwhile.
Saturday morning up at 1.51 am. Considering I didn’t stop reading until about 12.15 am I have to wonder if it’s worth coming to bed at all. There was the usual struggle to get Mike up at 6.00 am but in fairness we are usually on our way at 7.00 am and he’s fully dressed I’m guessing it’s by a colour-blind man with no sense of style, certainly not like my friend Stephanae at https://boldblindbeauty.com/ who has great style sense. I know that because I try and borrow it though the make-up goes awry. I did manage to get him up and even managed to get him out though I had a moment of panic when I noticed him driving with his eyes shut. We managed everything we needed to and even a trip to Broughton Park as Mike wanted to but something else he hadn’t managed to get enough of at the first shop. I can’t say what as they’re presents and I’m sworn bribed to secrecy. We drove back to the Dragon’s Rest for lunch and I had my first really disappointing meal. Mike took me to get some freezer shopping just before we came home and poor Joey finally had his cage opened.
Sunday. Slept from about 1.30 am to 2.53 am then went directly for breakfast. Yesterday Mike persuaded me to but a new bread by Warburton’s called The Lancashire Thorough Bread, a type of soft bloomer. I didn’t really take it’s shape into account with the toaster. I had to cut something off each side and off the top to get it to fit. Breakfast over I returned to work until I’d caught up at about 7.15 am. I found I was ready for a quick kip and climbed back on the bed. I woke again about 9.00 am and nearly died of shock to find Mike was up.”Thought I’d let you sleep” he said with a big smirk. After we’d got dressed we needed to exchange a pair of jeans for him as button flies were got by mistake.We delivered some bags to Yvonne while we were out with her portion of the mystery birthday gift. Then we pulled into the town centre while we did the exchange which actually only took moments though selecting the jeans to have with the zip fly took hours.Coming out we put a red light atop the car and I opened the window and shouted nee-naw all the way to Prestatyn and lunch. I had to be thawed out first and getting a lime and lemonade with ice didn’t help. Lunch was great as usual. We went home after that so we could fall asleep in our chairs. I know I did anyway. Mid-afternoon I waved Mike off then had a couple of hours work before watching a film on TV. A remake of Total Recall that must have left the graphics lovers feeling euphoric but were a bit much for me. I think I prefer the original.
I wish you all a wonderful week full of the usual hugs. I wish such luck to the youngsters of America who are trying to bring about such an important change. We need to all get behind them and bring sensible gun control in and take out the second Government of the U.S, the NRA.
Sunday. After such a late night I didn’t get up until 5.00 am After turning on the computer and saw how many emails were there from yesterday as well as this morning, I regretted moving. Just as well the Eisteddfod is just once a year. There were hundreds and it took a long time to sort the wheat from the chaff. By the time I’d made any headway it was 8.00 am and I hadn’t fed the fish. My albino cory was not amused and started dashing round the tank as though being chased by the devil or a large shark maybe.
You can almost see the look of disapproval yet he’s only about 2 inches long. Sometimes I get a very dismissive flick of the whiskers. He can be almost as stern as Michael who was a bit dischuffed when he found out whose face was on the cat last night. He issued a very stern warning.
“Don’t do it again” he said. No way was I entering into a My swords bigger than your sword argument because I know how his mind works and anyway he’d probably threaten to produce references from all his paramours so I’d be reading for a week. I’ve known men brag about a different woman for every day of the week, but never before one who adds, 52 weeks of the year. Anyway, stop diverting me, let me get on with the tale. I left the fish feeding and took my meds as I made myself a coffee and prepared a mug for when Mike got up. He’d already warned me he’s have to leave early today as he’s going out for a meal with his Dad his two sisters and his brother in law. I went back to work.
At 9.00 am I heard Mike’s alarm go off so I went and made him a drink and took it through. As usual he’d ignored the alarm and turned over so I made sure he knew the coffee was there. I carried on working. Two more rings of the alarm brings us to 9.30 am and I heard movement. I was practically up to date so I went through to join him. He has the nerve to tell me he’s hardly slept even though he appeared to be well away wen I went to the loo at 1.00 am and again at 5.00 am when I got up. He asked what I wanted to do this morning and when I said I thought he’s have breakfast and leave he answered he was OK for a while yet. In the end we settled on a trip to Flint to check out the Argos sale and to pick up some more chocolates. That was about 10.45 am and we didn’t leave Flint until 11.45 am when we headed straight for The Ivy where we had something to eat and a coffee each. Things were looking a bit more hopeful for Tariq and his family with passports though it’s ridiculous that he has to travel to Peterborough to get the ones they’ve found and he’s going to threaten to stay in the office until they find the others. I have everything crossed I possibly can for them. Mike liked a picture and asked the price. “They’re nothing today” said Tariq. We knew getting a straight answer would be hard. “How about £5, that’s about what it cost me to make. Which one do you want” “I’m not telling you unless I get a sensible answer”said Mike. It went on a while until I said ” How about £10, I’ll get him to say which one he wants if you’ll accept £10.” Even though it was still not the true price he agreed and I handed over £10 and made him put it away before Mike told him. Then the picture Mike wanted was so much bigger and would have been much more than £10 Tariq would brook no arguments. At least when we left today I had no arguments about the price of the meal. The big crisis facing Mike and I is that next Saturday the place is closed as Angie is at a wedding.
Mike dropped me at home at 1.30 pm and shot straight off to Manchester leaving me to face the music of all the waiting mail again. Naturally there was a fair bit and it kept me occupied until almost 5.00 pm.I had a sandwich and then forced myself to eat what was left of the BFG after Mike had been there last night while I was out as I didn’t want to to go off in the heat. The effort I have to go to sometimes. I watched a bit of a film but couldn’t get into it properly partly I think because I’m not much of an Adam Sandler fan.This was better than some I’d seen though. It wasn’t long before I came back to the bedroom and started on messages again along with blog comments and tweets galore. Some of the comments in answer to the great remarks I had on my post from last night. I wish you lot would stop being funny though, you put me to shame. Ah well. Time to finish the last messages of the day and head for my pit. I wish you all a great week.
Piggy Back riding
with Uncle Mike
Monday. It was a 3.05 morning and I’m convinced I should still be in bed and the first sign of nodding, that’s where I’m going. Did I nod? No way. I still hadn’t finished the mail at 7.00 am when I went through to the fish. I think they must all have had an argument as they were in three of the four corners of the tank, with one stuck to the filter in the fourth corner. The smallest one, the fan tailed guppy was swimming quite happily up top waiting for the food trapdoor to open. He was claiming First Dibs. I saw to my drugs and had a piece of toast before taking my coffee back through to the bedroom. The post seems to be never ending today, I wonder if I dare thin out the number of blogs I follow in order to have a life. I’d just about finished at 8.50 am which gave me chance to wash and dress in order to go to the post office. I wanted to post a large, nay Ginormous letter to a friend. I was holding it between my fingers which were wrapped around the handle of my crutch and yet it was almost dragging on the ground. I just hope she’s got a big letterbox.
Back home I put some washing on and then came back to the mail. There was one from delivery firm Hermes who annoy the heck out of me. You have a tracking number and get through to their system which follows the time they received it, when they logged it etc, etc and then you come to one that says Out for Delivery. To me, the customer, that means Great, a courier has it on his van and will deliver today. Accordingly I’ve been in all day. What it actually means is that it’s out for delivery to a courier and even though he may have received it, he hasn’t logged it with himself yet. So tomorrow when I’ve arranged to be out it will probably come. Then because you’re not in you stand the chance of them taking it back again. They need to make their site much clearer and also include telephone numbers . This is the slide I ordered last week for Reuben. I’ll have to leave a note on the door asking them to leave it with a neighbour. I carried on answering mail until I heard the washing machine stop then went and set the drier. I told it a lie and said it was a load of shirts when actually there was a towel in there too. I wonder if it can tell?
At lunchtime I had a cottage pie and an episode of my Antiques programme. At 1.00 pm I thought forty winks were in order so settled down. RATS, the front door. Someone wanting to check a master key on my door in case of emergencies. I tried again and the blasted window cleaner arrived. OK, so no afternoon nap is on the cards today. I might as well work. There are some truly amazing bloggers out there who write purely to inspire and lift others. It’s truly nice to know there are such selfless people around. There are some very informative bloggers who ensure we miss nothing from the world around us be it from a conflict somewhere or a new species of bird found . I’m mostly grateful for the time and effort they expend on the rest of us. There is kindness in the World, and maybe like my friend Rosie’s good example of a good deed a day it will inspire me to be a nicer person.
At 4.30 I packed up intending to have a break so I could have a piece of lemon meringue pie and to watch a couple of quizzes on TV. The first was easy, the second I managed to miss by getting caught up in something else. Then, I managed to nod off and missed the first half of Law and Order. Fortunately it was a repeat anyway as was the next programme, a Murder She Wrote so I turned off and came back through. When I check the mail I see a message purporting to be from a barrister addressed to me by name via Facebook. I don’t usually open mail I don’t recognise but where it’s using my name I thought I better had- wondering who I’d pissed off enough to threaten to sue me this week.
Even the crooks in Benin have got it in for me now. I remember getting a message from Facebook recently to say from now on messages sent to us there would not be stored but would be sent to our email addresses. That’s clever really since the email address this came to isn’t the one I registered with on Facebook. So, in an effort to miss any more of these things I’m going incognito, I hope I can rely on you not to tell.
Now I must go back to my emails to clear as many as possible before going out tomorrow. Night all, I hope my secret is safe in your hands.
In honour of my beloved Ju whose birthday it is tomorrow.
Tuesday. 3.25 am today. Plenty of work to do before going out. The only interruption was at 6.00 am when I did the fish early in case I was attacked and had to hide the wounds. Maybe they weren’t ready for me or perhaps just in a generous mood as I got away scot free. After taking my morning fix I got washed and dressed before taking my coffee through and carrying on with the post. By carrying on I don’t mean a full blown affair, more a dalliance in the stock room. I wasn’t taking it too seriously this morning. Eventually time came to leave the house. I’d donned my leather jacket as it had been raining and the forecast said cloudy and rain today.In fact I feel as though I was wearing a sauna suit it’s been so hot.
We met in the Costa where I already had an iced coffee in front of me because I wanted the points on my card as Tuesday is double points day at the moment. Yvonne had told me that Reuben was full of cold but said the fresh air might help or I’d have put them off. As today is Ju’s birthday I suspect we each wanted to stop the other brooding. I’d taken some Tanzanite earrings of Ju’s and a Wedgewood pendant of my mother’s for Yvonne so she put the earrings in straight away to be close to her mum. We had our drinks while Reuben slept in his pushchair. He’d had no sleep the night before she told me. When we left we took a trip along what are called ‘The Rows’ which are shops on balconies above the main shops of the main street.There are a number of jewellers and they’re very exclusive which translates as expensive. There are also some unusual shops here. Then we went for another drink as Reuben awoke. I was able to have him on my lay while Yvonne got the drinks. He was very sneezy and obviously still tired but tried hard to be smiley for me.
We had a teddy bear made as we left the precinct and then we walked up the main street to Argos to see if some toys I wanted for Reuben were in. They were. By this time I was in need of a wee and we thought it best to get some lunch before carrying on the expedition. Marks and Spencer’s was our choice. Wow, they don’t even do beans with the baked potatoes and still charge a fortune for them but the loos were nice. Such a relief. There were still two or three shops to visit afterwards and I was successful at getting a couple of shirts and a waistcoat for Ugo in one. Unfortunately I lost he smugness game today when Yvonne bought me a waistcoat too. Poor old Reuben’s patience was starting to disappear like a rabbit down a hole and he was beginning to do ear piercing ( well ear-drum at least) exercises with his vocal chords. We thought it best to take him home.Yvonne insisted I went with them and we could resume our Tuesday teatime chip meal after Ugo had run us to my house. I agreed before she started ear piercing on me. Ugo left work but thanks to a mix up in marital communications headed for my house without us. He had to turn round to collect us. We got home. Ugo went to the chippy, I went to my neighbour’s to collect Reuben’s slide which had come and Yvonne was left minding the baby. We had tea, Reuben decorated my floor with most of his and after a tidy up they left.
I came through to see to my messages before they’d even shut the car doors. I confess to being in a panic, but in all fairness I was right, 203 times right. It’s taken all night to reach somewhere near caught up before getting to the blog so tonight no entertainment, no pictures.,just a hope your day has been good.
Wednesday. A dark and early start saw me getting on top of the emails this morning. When I broke off at 7.00 am I was almost there. After throwing a leg of lamb into the fish tank from a distance I took my morning meds and had a piece of toast before taking my coffee through. When I got back some kind of world disaster must have happened because there were almost 100 more messages than when I left 20 minutes earlier. I wonder whether America knows it’s supposed to be in bed. I started again where I’d been at 3.30 am.
By 9.30 am I was back at the almost finished stage. The postman had been and still without my last missing package from China. I’m begining to wonder if this is another one held by our Customs Service to screw extra money out of me. It’s funny though, that usually happens once a year to me but it’s never actually been on one from China so far. Once a year one from China usually doesn’t reach me and it’s always the one with multiple purchases for some reason. If it hasn’t arrived by Friday I have to open a case with ebay and get in touch with the seller. They’re usually excellent at refunding but the annoying thing is I don’t want a refund, I want the goods. To do that I have to start with long delays again and hoping it gets to me. If I do that I risk going beyond the time where ebay will refund for non-delivery. I may have to accept a refund and then either order from them again or choose another supplier of similar items. Since I didn’t have to wait for the postman I decided to go out to Pauline’s for fresh bread and my TV mag.She was quite busy so I joined the queue and listened as she spoke to all her customers as friends. It’s nice.
Back home I was rattling through the rest of the mail when one for a sale at my Saturday Supermarket came up. Naturally since Mike and I have been keeping an eye on the sale in store when we go I found many items had sold out or weren’t available in my size ( obviously the most popular one) but I was lucky to find some jeans I know I like, some slippers I need since one toe is currently peeping through the top of my current pair and a dress shirt complete with bowtie which was reduced to £4. I expected to pay a lot for next day delivery but was amazed to find it was also just £4 even for the 6 items I ordered. Great value.
I knocked off at 11.00 am and went through to the lounge. I needed to think about what I wanted for lunch and I was tired. I nodded off for about half an hour. Before hand I’d decided on bangers with sweet potato mash but now I couldn’t be bothered and settled on a corned beef hash. Small and quick. It was OK and all I needed to wash was my fork. After lunch I was back and forth to the computer to try and keep the mail down as I’d miss 3 hours+ this evening but I couldn’t resist another siesta when the sun was really getting warm through the window. That must have lasted an hour or so from about 3.30 pm. It gave me such a conscience that I darted back through and found loads waiting. I was concentrating so hard that when the door opened I thought Dil and Matt had arrived early. It was in fact 5.50pm. Work stops, play starts.
Once drinks were dealt with Dil got the Yahtzee out to play. We had 3 games. Matt won the first as he got a Yahtzee where both Dil and I crossed it out. I was the lowest in that game losing badly. The next game was mine as despite Matt getting another Yahtzee, I got TWO, and won easily. In the third game there was no quarter given and Matt won again after getting two Yahtzees. We reverted to cards next and went back to Nomination Whist which after having been on the ‘catch up’ most of the game I romped ahead when needed and won. Finally the crib boards came out and the Goddess of luck was smiling on me as she gave me both games as quite easy wins. It was time for Dil and Matt to go. Dil muttering under his breath about seeing me next week ( and it would be his turn to completely thrash us then). I had a quick tidy up, washed the pots and went back to do battle with my email adversaries. It took me till gone midnight to do the blog and to clear the mail to within about a dozen which would have to wait till morning as some required longer answers. I’m knackered now and need a little read before sleep.
Thursday. 3.50 today so a slight improvement though having a late night last night didn’t help. Maybe I shouldn’t have celebrated my wind with extra mouthwashes. Having seen my inbox I’m glad of an early start at it since everyone whose side of the world is now heading for darkness has written to me while I slept. And anyway, the message I had from Asda said my delivery could be any time from 7 am. I doubt I’ll hold my breath though. At 6.30 am I sneaked into the kitchen and turned the light on inn the fish tank. I was hoping that half an hour early might catch them off guard. It didn’t, and one beady red eye was watching my every move. Because of that I moved very quickly. I took a pre-food tablet, had my sprays, swallowed the umpteen other tablets, had a cigarette to time things and then made myself a piece of toast. I was perhaps a little generous with the butter as the first time I tried to take a sip of my coffee, my moustache just slid across the front of the mug. I either had to wash off the excess or save it for sustenance later. I settled on a wash so I could drink my coffee.
I went back to the computer and was working steadily on emptying the mail box as the rest of the world tried to fill it again. At about 8.30 am I decided to get dressed thinking the time of delivery must be getting close now and I didn’t want to open the door in my dressing gown, not that I really have a door in my dressing gown of course. I worked on and on and on until finally at 11.00 am I could work no more. I went through to the lounge to evaluate the patterns on the inside of my eyelids for a short time. It was actually no more than about 15 mins before the phone rang.I decided to peel some sweet potatoes instead, ever the man of adventure me. A bit later I put my sausages under the grill and set my potatoes to boil. Soon enough I had the delights of bangers , sweet potato mash with peas and carrots before me. It was a feast. I washed the pots and settled down in my chair again when I heard a van arrive. Nope, it was the laundry service visiting Joe with all his freshly pressed shirts. One of these days I’m going to empty my laundry basket, and I’ll give it to them to deal with. About ten minutes later the van from Yodel arrived and I knew it was for me. I signed for the parcel and tore at the wrapping as I got it to the lounge. First job, throw old slippers away and don new moccasin ones. I know the jeans are good because I’m wearing a pair and the jeans for Mike look OK too. The dress shirts are great, all I need now is an occasion. My new lounge pants are covered in Mr Men so I won’t be letting anyone see me in those unless it’s Reuben.
I worked most of the afternoon so there could be a TV break this evening. It was 5.45 pm when I knocked off. I managed to see my Law and Order and then turned over to see Jessica Fletcher solve another crime before the police did. I saw the first 5 minutes or so and then totally zonked until the last 5 mins. I suppose I caught the important bits. So, at 8.00 pm it was back through here again and it’s now 10.47 pm and I still haven’t emptied the mail box. Time for one last marathon effort.
Contemplation
Friday. Blah , Blah, Blah early morning. By 7.00 am I was almost abreast of the mail and went to see to the fish. Not a single one in sight.They must be OK as there are no bodies floating but they’re playing mind games with me now, they’re making me panic. I took my tabs and then started to refill the empty container. Thanks to those piscatorial pests I was putting night time ones in daytime slot and verce visa. A ten minute job took a long time…long enough for the 15-20 mins in which I was to eat had passed by. I quickly put some toast on to boil. I opened my mouth as wide as possible and ate as quickly as I could ( according to Mike I’d have got the lot in at once if I’d tried). I made my coffee and took the two after meal tablets . OK, I was up to date. With a last glance at the tank I picked up my coffee and returned to the computer.
Amongst the new set of messages was one from another firm telling me their sale starts tomorrow but as a valued customer I can buy today AND get an extra 10% off at the end. Since I mentioned on Tuesday that my sneaky daughter had bought me a waistcoat, she now informs me she bought the matching jacket. She’s going head to head in the smugness stakes now. But, I decided I’d better get a pair of trousers to wear with the new ensemble so I ordered a pair of brown trousers with a shine like a mirror. If I ever go to a racecourse I’ll blind the horses. ( just the ones I haven’t backed though). I also ordered a new pair of braces since I need something to fight gravity now my waistline has gone. There were a couple of other items in the sale so I went to the checkout and entered my code and paid. Dalmations, the discount hasn’t taken!!!!!!!!! I’ve emailed them to see what went wrong.
A little later I dressed and went to Pauline’s to renew my lottery tickets. I picked up fresh baps and some milk while I was there just in case Mike is coming. I haven’t heard so far. At lunchtime I really couldn’t be bothered with a large meal so I made beans on toast which I haven’t had for ages. Time to hunker down for a nap now or at least as soon as the antiques programme is finished. It finished at 1.00 pm and I’d just stretched my legs out when my phone beeped. Naturally I’d left it in the bedroom. With an exasperated gasp I went to get it. There was the message I’d hoped for “On way”. I went and snored quite happily for an hour.
The mail had built up again in my absence but with Mike due about 4.00 pm I didn’t mind too much. I actually got up to date at 3.50 pm and was able to put the kettle on ready for the arrival which almost exactly on time. The ‘boy’ racer said the traffic had been bad. I settled him down with a drink and we both talked about how our week had been. We watched some quizzes calling out the answers to the screen to see who was fastest. His favourite quiz was missing though due to golf so I left him with Law and Order while I came to try and keep up to date again before my shower. Mike washed my hair in the adverts and I had a shower before changing into the new Mr Men lounge pants and a tee-shirt. NCIS was next on his menu and when a second episode came on I went to make him a meal of a lamb shank and some sweet potato mash, he said that was adequate veg. At 9.00 pm I came through for the night to keep the mail as up to date as possible and to get the blog on. I think it’s back to it again now because it’s an early start for shopping tomorrow. Can you hear the sarcastic laughter?
Saturday. I didn’t move my lazy ass today until 5.45 am. ( I bet you didn’t know I had a donkey did you?) I had only an hour answering the millions of comments from last night’s blog as well as other emails before it was time to feed the fish and prepare to make Mike his coffee. One fish allowed itself to be seen this morning but I swear he was just keeping cavey for the rest. By 7.00am I’d had my tablets and made a cup of coffee for myself. The lketttle was boiling awaiting the sound of the alarm from Mike’s room. By five past I’d heard nothing so I made the drink and took it through. My cheerful greeting was only tolerated without a well aimed show for two reasons. 1. It was his coffee I was holding. and 2 He just grunted but didn’t wake up. I took my coffee through and continued to tap away at the keyboard.
At about 7.20 I heard the sound of the loo being flushed and my intuition being what it is along with my deductive powers, I decided it was much more likely to be Mike than the fish. He was up and I hadn’t heard the alarm go off at all. I closed the screen down and went through to join him in the lounge. I was only able to join him bodily as his senses had yet again deserted him as he slept on the edge of the chair gradually leaning further forward until soon gravity would do it’s job and leave him splattered on my floor. I wouldn’t mind but he’d be a beggar to hoover. A quick (loud) cough and he woke up.We were out of the house with seconds to spare before 8.00 am.
The main shopping didn’t take too long but the delays I caused looking at children’s clothes did I’m afraid. My trolley was starting to look like Reuben’s lucky day. And of course I was expecting a delivery of clothes I’d bough for him online, today. We had a coffee after shopping while we decided the next move. I’d mentioned to Mike last night that I wouldn’t mind going to a certain shop with a sale that started today. He agreed and so we headed off there. Yet again Reuben was at the forefront of my mind and struck lucky. Mike also found a suit in a wonderful colour. I’m sure he’d have had a second one in another colour had the jacket been the right size. This wasn’t the branch of the shop I’d originally thought of and there was nowhere to eat close by so Mike suggested we visit the second branch where there are plenty of eateries. I had no problem agreeing since the word SALE is like a magnet to my poor addled brain.
We hit the other branch and came up with yet more things for Reuben though poor Mike was disappointed with his suit here as they had none of them. I did buy him a pair of shoes as compensation though were really nice.I got some braces and a couple of belts. We headed off for lunch and celebrated with a pudding today. The weather outside was awful with rain bouncing down ( or up) so we stayed in the cafe till it eased. Mike was proud that he got me out without me spending anything. We did however go to another shop before heading home and I was allowed to spend there in case my pockets healed up.
At home there was no sign of my recycling bags after the bin men had been. For all I knew they could have refused to bring them back in the lousy weather. We put the shopping away and I checked the door to see if there was a not from the delivery men to say they’d been. I was a little dejected to find nothing. Mike felt unwell and went to bed so I started to catch up with today’s 200+messages. It was about an hour in when I saw a message from one firm saying the goods were being delivered today. Checking the trace I found the package had been signed for. Yay, they’re next door with Bert. The weather was clearing nicely and the ground looked almost dry.I went out and actually met Bert who’d just seen his son off in the car. He told me where my recycling bags were and that he had two parcels for me. You’d have thought it was my birthday. Everything was fantastic and I think the trousers I’d ordered will go nicely colour-wise with the waistcoat and jacket from my bolshie daughter.
At 5.45 pm I’d all but caught up and decided to have a break for a while. I turned to the TV for Who Do You Think You Are which takes celebrities on a journey into the history if their family. It can be quite fascinating. Mike came through so when it ended I turned over for the Grand Prix qualifiers and the news. Then we watched Lewis . We had sandwiches and a small cake in the intervals. At 9.00 pm I deserted Mike and came through for the next battle in the message war. I think it’s going to be a long night.
David found a surgeon who could turn him into a hamster. Now he could store his chocolate properly.
Sunday. My night was very short but the darkness certainly wasn’t. When I first grudgingly got up it was pitch black but once I remembered to turn the computer screen on things improved no end. I sorted the mail and answered the comments on the blog before heading off at 8.am for my coffee. As I came back through I decided to get dressed in case Mike got up soon. I know he’d actually turned the TV off early last night and I could see him seemingly fast asleep when I nipped to the loo before midnight. It seemed a good idea to perhaps ‘tweak’ a few of Yvonne’s poems and print them out to see how they looked so I made a start but was ready to see to Mike’s coffee when he wrote. The trouble I had….last week I’d replaced an ink and something had gone CLUNK I couldn’t see what it was but the printer still worked though with a terrible background noise. Today I had to change another ink after the first printing. It took ages to get the new ink in, and then even longer to shut the lid. As I printed the second poem off something seemed not right at all, there were two pink whales instead of bluey-black and on the third I had a pink dragon though I could get away with that as it was female. By number four I’d lost the last three hairs on my head and had a pink black widow spider. I didn’t print more, just designed and saved them. Next week I’ll have to test Ju’s old printer which hasn’t been touched in a couple of years. Throughout all this Mike hadn’t moved a muscle except the one that he uses to snore which was in overdrive. At 10.10 am I took a coffee through and got a grunt. I became engrossed in some more mail and at 10.50 still just am, he finally appeared looking like death’s ugly brother. It took some doing to motivate him to be ready to go out at mid-day. We decided to head back to the cafe from last week, The Ivy Emporium because the reception had been so nice. Things hadn’t changed. The owner is an exceptionally nice man and I can say the same about his wife, (not that she’s a nice man you fool, just that she’s nice), I managed to have a good natter about Titterton’s pork pies and about Heaton Chapel where we’d both lived. Also today there was a waitress and didn’t Mike’s eyes light up when he saw her. What did mine do you ask, never you mind. When I went to pay at the end of the meal she complimented me on my beard, Mike corrected her and said it was a food retainer. Things went from bad to worse at that point with the jokes ( mainly at my expense of course) and we left there laughing. As she’s a budding writer I left my email address in case she needs any help. Mike dropped me off at home as usual and left to visit his father and this week his sister who’s birthday it was yesterday. We joke about how much older than me she is. You would only find the rest of my day boring, I know I did. Mail and TV in the main and all I remember is a Sherlock Holmes. Now time for a bit of book.
Monday. It didn’t take me long to realise I was still tired this morning. Once the mail was up to date at 7.am I saw to fish and tabs and sat with a coffee in the lounge but keeping the light off. No sooner had I finished the drink than the soft sawing sound of my Zzz’s were drifting though the room. I was away. It was light when I woke at 8.30 so I made another coffee, a bit stronger this time and went back to the computer. Once up to date again I got dressed though I’d no intention of going out today. The wind and rain were awful. I played yo-yo all morning between my chair and nodding off, and my computer to keep abreast of the mail. I had one late morning that told me we used to communicate but she’d had to change her profile, if I would like I could see the latest ‘dirty’ pictures of her on the new profile. Why she thought I’d be interested in looking at pictures of an unwashed woman I don’t know. For lunch I had a shepherd’s pie, I hope he never finds out who pinched it. Almost immediately afterwards I was asleep again. That didn’t last too long as the cigarette I was smoking burned my finger and dropped to the floor. Even so, I bet it was just ten minutes before I was away again. I didn’t see a complete TV program all day. At a few minutes to 8.0pm I came through to catch up on mail and hopefully grab an early night. No matter the sleep I had today I’m still yawning. Unfortunately there’s been a lot of mail and most of it very interesting so I’m just past 11.0 pm now. I’m determined to have a short read then try for sleep. I need better weather tomorrow in order to meet Yvonne.
Tuesday. After getting up early and seeing off the mail which included two notices about unexpected use on the Barclaycard I don’t have, I got dressed and sat nervously deciding about going to see Yvonne and Reuben. Do I go now and force myself out the door or sit and think about it a bit longer. It’s not raining so I decide to strike while the iron’s hot, or more accurately before I turn chicken, cluck, cluck. Texted her to say meet me at ten or would you prefer I came straight to the house. She answered ten was fine and told me where the new Costa Coffee House is. Within ten minutes I cursed my memory when I found the kids were back at school and the bus stop was jammed with them. Before I was able to turn round and go back their bus arrived and I was surrounded by about six million excited, chattering pushing and shoving monsters little darlings. My own bus drew up and I all but collapsed on the step but I saw the driver lower it for me to make it easier. I swiped my card and occupied the disabled seat ( seat for the disabled, there’s nothing wrong with the seat itself). I got out my MP3 player to avoid conversation and relaxed with my eyes shut. I got through two songs and the battery ran out so I covered where the red light would be and sat swaying like Stevie Wonder so no-one would know. A very tense hour and a quarter later we arrived and no-one had tried to speak to me. With my sense of rhythm they perhaps thought I was having a fit so stayed well clear. The young lady on the seat behind me did help me get my haversack back on though. We went to the Costa and I gave Yvonne the new outfit I’d bought for Reuben and the flower stickers I’d bought to go on the hallway wall ( only if she wanted). Lastly I brought out some of the poems I’ve been doing for Reuben’s book after deciding some of the ones I did for Yvonne may not be suitable. I was OK she loved them. She started a diet today to get rid of the residual baby fat so there were no cakes with coffee today. We enjoyed a wander and a further drink before lunchtime though this time she had water with slices of lemon. I gave Reuben some of his milk. As we walked on afterwards to get some bread to take home we picked up a few bits here and there. After getting the bread and emptying the baby food section and fruit section we stopped for lunch……well I stopped for lunch. Yvonne asked for a pot of tea for me and a bacon roll( a good swap some my say) but was told I could have a cup or a mug and there was no bacon left. I settled for a mug and had a pastie. A few minutes before we got up to leave the waitress brought sausage and bacon sandwiches to the table next to us.Guess where I won’t be going again. One more shop on the way home and I found a great pair of shoes in the sale for Ugo. It’s a shame I see so little of him. I watched the monster while Yvonne made me a cuppa at home. We’d been 6 hours shopping, she’s a terrible girl leading me astray like this. Ugo arrived home about 5.30 and by 6.00 was ready to run me home stopping on the way for chips which just he and I enjoyed much to Reuben’s dismay.I was able to give them some gifts I’d picked up on Saturday but couldn’t carry this morning. The usual moans ensued…………yada, yada, yada. After they left it was straight to the computer to find 149 messages waiting. A big ouch. It was getting on for midnight before I was able to stop.
Wednesday. A terrible night last night, I couldn’t get to sleep as I was constantly getting cramp in my feet and had to keep walking around. I felt like Marley’s ghost. It must have been at least two before I was able to try again and succeed. So I lay my head down and at a quarter to five my bladder decided it was time for another walk. That woke me up. So I had 39 messages brought over from last night, I’m so glad I didn’t refresh then plus 78 of this mornings. I’d almost finished when I left to do my morning ritual at 8.00am. I followed up by getting ready to go out to the chemist and to pick up some fresh baps from Pauline’s. The bread I’d got yesterday was awful. While out I decided not to cook a meal but to get a ham salad bap for lunch and a pastie or sausage roll for my tea. That actually worked out well for me today and I think I might add the ingredients to my shopping list and do that as much as possible next week. The salad will be good for me and OMG I feel faint, what’s wrong with my brain? I’ve actually spent most of the day on the computer apart from lunchtime after which I managed an hours sleep but as usual at 5.00 I came through for The Mentalist. I’d seen it before so turned over for the Great Antiques Road Trip. I couldn’t help laughing at the experts who bought goods to take to auction which they promptly made a loss on, all except the last item, a picture frame the expert had paid £100 for. It looked like it may go for £50 when there was a sudden surge in bidding and it went for £300. He ended the day with a profit. Another antique program Flog It followed that and I watched as I ate my pastie and some pineapple pieces. It was just after that Dil and Matt appeared like two drowned rats. The weather has been awful all afternoon again. I’m glad they live atop a hill too. We had two games of Scrabble as usual but I could only cheat my way to a win in one. Then it was time to bring out the Newmarket Board we’d recently made, raid Reuben’s copper jar and teach Matt how to play. I swear he must have been a professional gambler in a previous life. It took a while before I started showing a profit. Next week I’m hoping for Nomination Whist but Matt wants to teach me poker. After they left about 9.30 and yes it was still raining I came back to see to messages. Barclay’s are obviously worried about the activity on my Barclaycard but I’m not worried as I haven’t opened an account since this morning. However, I am frankly getting worried about two other things. 1) One woman is getting very blatant in wanting to know if I want some ‘FUN’ with her but she didn’t leave an address, and 2) Some poor soul in Africa has lost her husband and is now dying herself. before she goes she wishes to entrust to me the £2,000,000 her husband left as she knows I’ll be sure to pass it on to deserving churches for her. I’m worried the amounts are getting so much smaller these days, is it really going to be worth my while, and why should she think I would pass it on to churches when I’m the most irreverent person you can imagine. Right, two mins to midnight, I’m going to have a quick read.
Driver 69
If the cap fits…….
Thursday. Though I did rise early I felt I wasn’t quite ready today so about 6.30 when the mail was done I leaned over slightly and was back on the bed. Next thing I knew it was 7.40 and the fish were sending mental messages not to forget them. To save myself being confronted by a very large unhappy fish one day I didn’t. I’m kind to spiders too just in case I ever meet the eight foot queen who knows how her subjects have fared. In this life it doesn’t pay to take chances. Good advice for my Aussie friends there. After ensuring my good karma for the rest of the day I took my meds, arranged the meds for the rest of the week and then made myself a Columbian Coffee I haven’t yet tired of my toy and the varieties I can buy though many of the tastes are indistinguishable to me unless it’s a crema and I can look forward to a silly moustache. I don’t know why as I already own one of those. That meant I didn’t get back to my mail until about 8.30 by which time some poor postman with too many in his sack had dumped another 87 in my box and I’m sure they weren’t all mine. Regardless of that I worked my way through them even dumping the ones with titles like ‘Hey baby, we could have a real good time’ as Balderdash just isn’t as much fun with 2 players. It was gone ten o’clock when I checked the lottery and had my hopes dashed, there are two rich people with £54,000,000 each in France and Spain now. I wonder if they can read begging letters in English? I decided I’d better get ready to go out and buy the Eurolottery ticket for Friday despite the prize being just a measly £12,000,000. I suppose it would do if I’m careful. I bought three scratchcard as well and won £2 so I’m not sure if that’s a sign my lucky streak is starting or a sign I’ll end up bankrupt. At home again I did a couple more poems with appropriate clip-art for Reuben but I can’t print them out until I get off my backside and check out this other printer. That’s a good job for the weekend if Mike comes. For lunch I had two baps with corned beef, tomato and coleslaw the effect of which I suppose was a little spoiled when I had a Kitkat for pudding. I turned TV on but couldn’t concentrate so I decided to examine my eyelids from the inside for a while. An hour later I slunk ashamed back to the computer for the next round of punishment. By 4.30 I was starting to nod over the keyboard so left the last couple and retired to the lounge. I was in time to see my antique experts repeat last night’s errors of judgement and make stupendous losses again. The evening flowed past in a jumble as I missed about twenty minutes of Law and Order Zzzzing then turned to Murder She Wrote which was plain boring. At 8.00 I gave up and came back through, changing into my dressing gown and have sat here since then with messages and post comments. Time for one more poem then a bit of Sir Terry Pratchett before trying to sleep.
Friday. I woke this morning with the distinct impression I’d heard nightingales. The main arguments against this are a) I have no idea how a nightingale sounds and b) It was a bit off it’s Berkeley Square patch up here. There is no shelter from the flood, no wellingtons small enough for their feet and I doubt you’d get a sou’wester that size either. So why a nightingale you ask, and the only answer I can think of is these poxy dreams are trying to tell me something. I’d take a pad and pen to bed to record the dreams if it wasn’t likely that the writing time would probably coincide with the time I’m supposed to be asleep. Once I’d done battle with my messages first thing I followed my usual routine then came back to writing some more of the kids poetry- acceptable versions- I’m doing for Reuben. I have so many questions about publishing a small book of poetry with illustrations in the form of clipart like is the cost of producing books with pictures very expensive for readers to buy? Is it better to do a paperback, a hardback or even a board book? I’m hopeful an old friend of mine will be able to answer my questions from her vast store of knowledge.I’m even a bit confused about the best size since I’ve been doing the work as A4 so far. I wonder if something like this may be more acceptable to a traditional publisher or whether I should just continue with the pattern of self-publishing I’ve done with my other books. Maybe I should just concentrate on one copy for Reuben alone. Anyway, I think I managed 3 more before returning to the messages and catching up. I went to get two pints of milk in case Mike decides to come and ended up buying two bottles of wine. I don’t even drink??? Naturally I clanged all the way home and drew a few looks and knowing nods from the locals. Lunchtime came and I had a small braised steak and mash and settled down with the TV for an hour. I went straight to sleep, did not pass go and did not collect £200. I was woken by a sound from my phone ad saw my eyes had been closed for about twenty minutes. A message from Mike ‘On my Way’. I shot off back to my room again as there’s no way I can deal with messages once he arrives and I don’t want tons for tonight. At 2.05 he arrived, his afterburner was still hot as the three hour journey had taken 2 hours 10 minutes. A clear road was the only explanation my raised eyebrow got. My brother Dil had bought me some top quality ground coffee for Christmas so I took it through to the kitchen, demanded Mike got on his knees to me and make him search the cupboard for my cafetiere. It’s a very small size and has a knitted cardigan just like me. I made him a coffee and parted with a biscotti then went to sit in the lounge with him. I’m pretty sure he finished his coffee before he fell asleep (How rude) which was just before I did likewise. The trick is to wake first and then when he apologises for being so rude you can claim the moral high ground without being caught. A little later I did roast beef, boiled new potatoes in a herb butter and garden peas for tea which we shared though I could only have a small portion having eaten a meal already, then I had a great big barm cake to mop up the gravy. We watched our usual quizzes before I went for a shower and left Mike putting extra holes in my new belt ( bought Tuesday) even though he kept insisting the belt didn’t need more holes but an extension. He’ll pay for that. I stayed up chattng and watching Body of Proof until 10.00 when I had to excuse myself. 101 messages awaited me which I’ve managed to finish. No reading tonight I think, it’s almost time to get up again.
Saturday. I’m pretty sure I managed a full ten minutes sleep before it was time to haul my weary ass out of bed. (I did warn him he was taking up too much room.) I nipped to the loo and could hear Mike driving the sheep home with a vengeance. Still, I’ve no time to do anything about that now, my audience awaits. It was actually a nice manageable amount this morning and I was finished, washed and dressed before 7.00am. I was enjoying a drink when Mike’s alarm went off It went on a bit longer than usual before I heard it crash to the floor but I was pretty sure he was awake so I made his coffee and took it through. Wrong, he was back to sleep. “Coffee’s up” I told him and left, knowing that his alarm is on a ten minute repeater.At quarter past there was no repeat alarm and no sound of movement so I headed back to his doorway and called in “Don’t let your coffee get cold Bro.” All I got in return was “Leave me alone, alone, alone” like some demented echo but I knew he’d heard me. I saw to the bins and braved the pouring rain to put the recycling sacks out too. At 7.30 I had one last go, “Coffee’s cold now Mike” and then moved away fast before some language tainted me delicate ears. Within minuted though He did join me. I did a last check of my mail and found one from Apple to say someone had just downloaded a game on my account in Taiwan did I need to change my password. I tried but at first it refused to accept my D.O.B so I had to say I’d forgotten my sign in so they’d send an email I could link to. Apple are a pain, they must have been breached because I don’t use the account online. I’m forever getting messages to say I need to change my password which I do but never through the link in the message. We did the shopping but after a late start had to play catch up. We managed pretty well and were able to have a drink in Flint complete with sexual banter as usual. While shopping I’d bought a lot of salad stuff with the intention of having salad baps for my lunches next week. I realise Australia is in shock at the news but wait for this, I also bought myself a Breville Blend Active. I thought it might be nice to make myself some fruit smoothies or milkshakes. Can anyone tell me if chocolate is a fruit or a vegetable please?
Thank you to my fellow blogger from whom I pinched this idea.
After we unpacked the shopping at home we went for lunch so we could deliver some gifts to friends at Kassidy’s. It was nice to see Chris and be able to say we were sorry about her Dad’s passing. From lunch we wen’t to Colwyn Bay to see our friend who it seems is unwell again and has had a few falls. We had a nice couple of hours with him and went to visit my niece Karen to see her latest decor idea using things from the film The Wizard of Oz. It’s looking very impressive. Leaving her to get ready for work we came home . I plowed into my mail while Mike rang my phone company to see if he could get me a better deal and their TV package.I ended up a couple of pounds better off a month and got the extra. We had tea, watched an odd programme on sounds followed by a remake of The Tomorrow People which I remember from years ago. Mike had to go out to meet an old flame and I’ve come back through to spend my Saturday night in my usual fashion (You slavedrivers). Before I go, I’d like to leave you with a rare photograph of Nikita Kruschev.
That Kruschev look.
One further thing….. The beautiful Virginia Llorca of Fine Whine http://www.dittymac.blogspot.co.uk/ sent me a picture today which she maintains is me ! I’ll leave it to your good selves to be the judge of her outrageous libel. As If I couldn’t find a rhyme !
barsetshirediaries 