The Doctor. Who? Appears and Hugging Visitation.

Sunday 4th January 2015

It was a 3.28 am start this morning which was just as well since there had been a fair amount of activity by the scribes overnight. I was quite happy plodding along bringing the numbers down until I realised that they were all being replaced at the same rate so I had to up my pace. My Sunday morning body and brain weren’t keen on this idea and made me feel tired. I decided I’d lie down for a while once the fish were seen to at 7.00 am but it seems Somnos had other ideas. I’d been through and faced some kind of lecture from Big Al. The other fish carried on with what they were doing but Al parked himself at the front of the tank and mouthed off at me. It’s his own fault if the food landed on his head when I opened the flap. Oddly enough, just as the food hit, Big All jumped like he’d been shocked and I swear I caught a glimpse of Porcinus rushing off on his tatty cloven little tootsies.

I took my meds ( maybe they’ll clear up the visions) and made myself a coffee which I took through  to the lounge. I often have more luck nodding off there than in bed. I was trying to nod off but every time I shut my eyes the sight of a young child, a baby almost in a formal 3 piece suit appeared behind my eyelids. He was smoking a cigar which you just knew had last been touched by a dusky maiden as she rolled the tobacco on her thigh (sigh) and he was enjoying every draw. I tried to open my eyelids to banish the sight but he just clicked his pudgy little fingers and they stayed shut. I was sort of getting an idea who this was but why should a god of lovers and wishes be dressed like some mafia lawyer, and what could he want with me? The answer was forthcoming as he spoke in a Texas drawl with a baby’s voice. It sounded a bit like an accident with the helium. The party of the first part (Somnos) wanted his contract fulfilled ( I said he looked like a lawyer) and he , an interested party in this contract expected to see it expurgated forthwith or even fifthwith.( Lawyers humour there).  He had some growing to do and was anxious to start. “Oh, and by the way, as  I’m the god of lovers” he said, “make sure you paint my image with lots of pastel colours.” While I was still trying to work that one out, he vanished.

I decided to go back to work for a while and catch up on anything new in . I was obviously delirious. At 9.05 am though a wave of tiredness came over me and I did one last message then lay on the bed and was gone. Next thing I know I hear the loo flush. I came awake with a start and went through to the lounge. Mike was up and drinking a coffee he’d made himself ( and I’m sure I never showed him how). It was 9.30 am. I asked how long he’d been up and he told me since 9.15 am. He’d seen my light on and stuck his head in. According to Mike I was laying on my back, mouth wide open and snoring like mad. I was an idle beggar still being in bed at that time.

We really took our time getting ready and it must have been 11.00 am before we were on our way out. We headed for Prestatyn where I got a plumbing pack with a radiator key in it. Considering I’d gone into the £ shop just for that I came out £9 lighter. From there we headed for Rhyl and after parking up on the street and finding it had gone midday we went for lunch to a place all locals call the Red Caff on account of the internal colour scheme and red plastic seating. It was OK. After that we had a general mooch looking for a case for a 10″ tablet and finding another pack of radiator keys for me. We ha a look round a store looking for a car coat for Mike without success but I fell in love with a jacket down from £75 to £30 in the sale. No I didn’t, I behaved. Last stop of the day was the aquarist shop where Ju and I used to buy a lot of our fish and our tanks. I got my Pangasius called Zippy from there. Today Mike saw a couple of fish he wanted for his tank and I saw some synodontis I couldn’t resist but I only bought two as it’s almost my birthday and I’ve been promised fish then. Anyone who knows fish will have seen a pattern emerging here. I just adore catfish.

Aren’t I beautiful.

We shot off home so I could start preparing them for the tank, 20 minute in their bag in the tank water, 20 minutes with some tank water added to the bag and then gently release them. Mike loaded the car, strapped his fish into the front seat and set off for Rugby to do the same with his fishy friends. It was just 3.40 pm so I was set for the first 20 minute stage. I started to work since I’d been away from my screen for almost 7 hours. There was just so much of it. At 4.00 pm I went through and added some tank water to the bag to acclimatise my new pals and then went back to work. I remember seeing 4.15 pm then nothing.  at 5.05 pm I woke up.I knew I’d been to sleep as the imprint of the keyboard was in reverse on the palm of my hand. Fortunately my forehead had been resting on my arm. The screen was just filled with pages of capital G’s.  OMG, the fish! I dashed through and released them. They were fine of course just having had longer to adjust than usual. I returned to my screen and started deleting all the G’s so I could get back to where I’d left off. Thank heavens I hadn’t sent it to someone. I wasn’t sure if the sleep was a present, a punishment or just a reminder from Somnos so to cover myself here is my promotion.

Fed up with your old household gods? Need a new breed for the New Year? Say hello to the bright young things of today who can serve you for tomorrow too. Start saying your prayers to the leader of the new Pantheon, Somnos. Offspring of an older god and who knows what, Somnos is the bright star in the heavens and can turn his hand to anything. A young master of life’s mysteries.  Give it up for his brothers, young Porcinus who is god of household and not so household animals and Brother Jake who though the youngest is still a bit of a bright spark. Apart from being responsible for lovers he is also responsible for wishes.Not worth asking for Lottery Numbers he tells me, the elder gods have that tied up for years.

I had to take a half hour break to get something for tea as I’d only had one set of tablets today but after that it was right back nose to the grindstone ( it’s OK my beak can afford it). I’m making real headway now and hope to be in bed by midnight.

Monday.

Negotiation can obviously be rewarding. I was allowed until 4.47 am this morning. It was a bit of a blow to find no-one had arranged for their to be no post during the extra period so I could wake up relaxed but I suppose it’s my own fault for not getting the i’s dotted and t’s crossed. I’ll know for the future and squeeze harder than a lemon press. Once I’d come back from the loo and switched on I’d been disappointed but what the heck, I had time. I worked till 7.00 am and went through to the kitchen. I had to be quiet, my new catfish are very small and quite shy often hiding away during the daylight hours. I turned the light on and there they were enjoying the extra space in this tank. Where the others came flying over when the food was in they didn’t of course but I’m sure they’ll soon learn. That’s if Sharkey behaves anyway and he certainly wasn’t this morning. He was trying to chase everyone away from the food and even managed to startle Big Al this morning. It couldn’t happen often though as nothing can move the tank that Big Al is. He seemed in better humour today and didn’t even glance in my direction. That could be a bit worrying as though an event is due to happen and he’s distancing himself from it for when he secret police arrive…..and that’s despite the fact he probably orchestrated the whole thing. I may need a word with Porcinus to see if fish come under his purview.

I watched for long enough to see my two synodontis disappear inside an upturned ship and stay there. I decided there and then whatever I have for my birthday will be bigger…too big for holes like that. Maybe too big for Sharkey too. A couple of real battleships. I took my meds to get me down from this high and mad myself  coffee to take back. I couldn’t be bothered getting dressed as I wasn’t going anywhere. By about 9.45 am I was happy with what I’d done and where I was so took a few minutes to head to the lounge and my chair. The first thing I aw was my repeat prescription request from Friday. Damn. I had to get dressed after all. It was such a pain getting a tiny sock on this big fat leg that when I was dressed I slipped a pair of summer deck shoes on. Even that was a small problem but I managed it and getting my jacket and crutches went out, locking the door behind me. I had to manage like Long John Silver, just putting one foot to the floor and swinging along on the crutches. It works well but is tiring.I got there and back without problems. Back inside I slipped off the shoes and put my slippers on and dealt with the actual mail from the postman.

Back to work. Still not too much in but enough to keep me going until lunchtime. I broke off at 11.45 am to start lunch and then found a Time Team to watch while I ate my shepherd’s pie followed by chocolate cake. At 1.00 pm I went back to work until 2.15 pm when the new series of Father Brown started. I have vague recollections of having enjoyed the books as a child and wanted to see what they were like. Not bad really. Then back to face the afternoon rush until 6.00 pm when I had Eggheads.( no, not personally, it’s a programme not a disease). After that I just had to shut my eyes as they were closing anyway and I stayed that way for 35 minutes before coming back through. Since then it’s been a slight struggle to keep up to date because certain personal messages I save till this end of the day to deal with and sometimes they’re long. But, I shall manage an early  night I hope as I want to see my beautiful daughter and my grandson tomorrow. She’s threatening the doctor on Thursday.

Tuesday.

I had a 2.51 am start this morning. That’s approximately two and a quarter hours sleep if I slept the minute I turned the light off. I didn’t. Whatever AC Flory says,I’m not prepared to go down the photograph of a chocolate cake yet. And don’t even suggest prayer, I already feel preyed upon. Maybe I should have had a closer look at the small print in the contract. My leg was painful when I put it down so I hopped to the loo, reminded myself I’d made a mistake buying the Loo purple instead of the Loo Bloo, resolved to correct my error, and hopped back. There was quite a lot of mail to be dealt with and I’m currently open to suggestions as to how to cut it down. At 6.00 am I’d reached the end of the main ones and also of my tether. I felt tired.  I needed something to brighten me but the buses weren’t running yet and my daughter wouldn’t be up. I settled for second best and went through to the kitchen. When the lights went on I was delighted to be able to see the new fish flitting back and forth. They have real speed and really are beautiful with their streamlined moustaches.

Morecambe and Wise came to the top to await their flake and most of the others moved into position ready for the pellets. Sharkey was being very annoying and I had o speak sharply to him but as usual I was ignored. Big Al was a worry though. No insults, no tellings off, no glaring. He sat towards he back of the tank , little gimlet eyes as wide as they’d go and looked shell shocked. I have no idea what- or who- happened to him. I did in fact feel rather sorry for him as I think he’s getting old now and I’m sure the synodontis won’t be interested in his lectures. I get the feeling they’re all rap and hip-hop. After watching the activity for a few minutes I fed them and left them to eat in peace. I did see Big Al move towards the food area before turning away. I took my sprays then put milk in my mug and took the tablets, leaving enough milk for my coffee. I sat and drank that in the lounge and considered shutting my eyes but was afraid of missing the bus.

I washed the  now empty mug, picked up the gifts for Yvonne, Ugo and Reuben, switched the lights off and headed back to my bedroom. I got washed and dressed and started on the lesser messages and notifications until 7020 am when it was time to get my shoes on and prepare to leave. I allowed time in case I had problems finding the right shoes. At the moment I could do with a pair belonging to a clown though I dare say Mike would say I already have. I left the house at 7.30 am and started walking toward the bus stop. It started raining and then the bus went right past me. So that was the way the day was going to be. I reached the bust stop and climbed aboard. The driver, my regular, said “If I’d known it was raining I’d have stopped for you back there.” Luckily I hadn’t quite got my breath back so just said “Thanks.” On the bus Yvonne sent me a text to ask if I was coming and let me know she was waiting for young sleepyhead to wake up. That’s a first. I just sent a text saying I was on the bus.

When I got to Chester I saw Yvonne pushing the trolley out of a shop towards me. The plastic cover was down because of the rain and she was just telling me that Reuben wasn’t very well when he started smiling and pointing at me. I guess I had something stuck in my teeth. The joy didn’t last long and tears accompanied the siren as we walked round the first shop. It improved a bit when he was given a book to read and we headed for the coffee shop in the next place. Yvonne fed Roobs his breakfast which he took well. He did feel a little warm. She passed him the books I’d bought while she checked out the other gifts and loved the cardie and little jacket I’d got him. While we were having coffee she told me that Ugo is having Reuben confirmed in Church soon.  I just nodded as this is their child and my opinions won’t count on this subject. But, I always thought a confirmation followed a Christening/Baptism and was for the subject to agree to follow the life of discipleship? As far as I know he hasn’t been baptised or if he has I wasn’t invited ( probably for good reason) and I’d say since he can’t talk yet, he’s far too young to be making any commitments. As I say , it’s their business, their choice but for me, I’d much rather this kind of malarkey was left until a child is old enough to know what they’re doing and can make an informed choice. Some people seem to need the community of a church but it’s not for everyone. CORRECTION. with apologies, I’m now innformed it’s a dedication and not a confirmation. This just welcomes him into the church and his parents and god parents attend to confirm they’ll teach him about god.Personally I’d rather he was just tauiught about people and how he should treat them. How he should protect the vulnerable regardless of race, colour,culture or creed.Humanity is One  and we need to work together without divisions to learn tolerance. Rant Over.

We left the coffee house and headed for another shop but Reuben was obviously very unhappy. Neither books nor looking at his favourite toys would stop the siren in my ear. I suggested as it was 11.30 am Yvonne should take him home. Se said once we finished this last shop she’d do that and cool him off and let him sleep if he needs it. Lucky for me, this last shop was close to my bus stop and there was a bus due at noon. We said our goodbyes and she apologised. There was no need. I knew she needed to settle Reuben down and be happy that he’s OK. As for me, I get home an hour early and can start work again that much sooner. I’d have been out almost 6 hours by then.

When I got off the bus I dropped into Pauline’s for some supplies and my next TV mag. I found some chips in a mild and fruity curry sauce which I decided to have for lunch. It was lovely.I had bread and butter to make sure I lost none of the sauce. I did half an hour’s work then skipped off to watch an episode of Father Brown again. When that was over I piled into the work like a madman. After a while I must have looked like one too as I kept yawning so my eye were watery, they kept closing in an attempt to grab an after-food sleep and my head looked like either a nodding dog or one of those Ostrich things that used to dip their beaks in your drink. It got to the stage I had no idea what I was doing so I allowed it to happen. When I woke 25 minutes later all I had was a stiff neck. By 7.50 am I’d finally caught up and had an hour with the TV watching a celebrity quiz show for charity. They put up a good show but didn’t win.

9.00 pm meant back in here again and another session of catch up before I was able to start the blog. I will be in bed for midnight.

I keep seeing an advert on TV which has someone driving an elephant like a car. The tune keeps popping into my head so tonight I’m going to play it on here an hope it gets out of my head completely. Sorry about that, I hope no-one catches it.

Wednesday.

I made my midnight bedtime last might- just. I couldn’t cope with reading for very long and so the light was out by a quarter past. Sleep came quickly, and having delighted me with whatever dream left me smiling, it left just as quickly as well, at 2.38 am. You know at the time if you’ll get away with just snuggling back under the covers or whether you’re really awake and ready to create a new formula for world peace. I swear the powers that be keep sending the wrong people to do that job. Anyway, once up I did the Olympic Hop to the loo and the Olympic hop back afterwards. Times almost took a turn for the worse when the first hop was taken on the wrong leg. If anyone asks later whether I heard that strange sound I’ll just say no, what strange sound? I settled in my seat and turned the computer on. Straight away I wished I’d taken the other option which was packing my hankie and running away to parts unknown with no computer access. Actually I suppose I could just go camping up the road and have that happen. Warmer climes appealed but where? It has to be somewhere that isn’t trying to kill me from the moment I arrive via snake, spider or even mosquito. One of the South Sea Islands maybe. While waiting for my  ticket to arrive I might as well do some work.

First job is to check my lottery ticket. I know things are looking grim when I see it’s a further rollover. Grimmer still when I see that damned machine didn’t even give  me one number let alone the Millionaire Maker code. Ah well ( big sigh) maybe the weekend. I worked until 6.00 am and cleared both talktalk and gmail addresses. In celebration I decided to feed the fish a bit early again. I turned the kitchen light on followed by the tank light. Big Al blinked and as I opened the hatch he flew over and stationed himself underneath. No-one was getting food before him today. I dropped in some pellets. He wiggled his moustache, perhaps in thanks and tried to pick up one of the pellets whole. Others came to join him now including Sharkey who was trying to grub for food and chase everyone else off at the same time. The was no sign of my little synodontii though.( my guess for the plural as synodontisses doesn’t quite have the same ring), they were having a lie-in it seemed until suddenly I spotted a head moving about on the underside of the pump. Of course, these are often known as upside down catfish. I replaced the flap and left them to it.

I decided to have breakfast today so the first thing i to take a pre-food tablet then mess around for 15 minutes before eating.  I had my sprays then took half my tablets and lit a cigarette. Then I took the rest of the tablets, took an empty plastic bottle to the recycling bags, took a book to the bookshelves in Mike’s room before returning to the kitchen to put some bread in the toaster, put my cigarette out and made a coffee. I got the butter and a knife out and a plate to hold the toast which soon signified it was ready by shooting a couple of inches in the air. As soon as breakfast was eaten it was time for the post-food tablets and I returned to work. Only about ten piece of post which were soon dealt with so it was time for 40 winks in the lounge with my foot up.I slept for an hour and found I’d been reading at the same time, or at least turning the pages of my book without taking anything in. To be honest, I wasn’t taking in much when I was awake either. This book hasn’t gripped me yet. That could be because there are a couple of books in my pile that I really want to get to grips with one of which is a John Grisham.

I returned to work and found a message telling me a doctor would be coming out today. If it’s my own doctor it will probably be after lunch. That was fine, I sent a message back thanking Yvonne only to get another requesting I let her know everything the doctor says and not just the finer points. She’s most untrusting. I grabbed some carpet fresh for the hall and then hoovered the lounge and lit a febreeze candle to overcome (?) any smoke smells but I should be OK as I’m never in there long enough to smoke much. After my mini work-a-thon the postman arrived bringing with him a request to write to one of the House of Lords about the Dignity in Death bill due later this month. I did that with pleasure. One piece of mail from my Causes group was from  Portugal asking for some computer equipment for a Breast Cancer Support Group. It seemed little enough to ask for so I did a small blogpost on it.I’m hoping as people spread it, maybe it will just hit the right person who can donate the equipment needed. I’m not sure it’s something one individual can do unless they have the money to donate for buying fromnew. But there may be a firm out there who could sponsor such a cause and if so, I’m sure one of my friends will know. Otherwise I may have to see if the request can be given to one of the larger computer manufacturing companies. Any bright ideas would be welcomed.

I worked up until midday but didn’t eat in case the doctor came. I watched my antique show and made every effort to stay awake. Eventually at 1.45 pm I saw my doctor approach. I stayed where I was as she let herself in and came through. Out of manners I raised off my seat but she waved me down. he spent a few seconds playing with my upper leg to see if there was any pain ( no, but there was pleasure) in case there was a blood clot. Instead it appears I have cellulitis which is a deep infection of the soft tissue, usually strep. It started like gout but has stayed hot and swollen for far too long. To cut a long story short, I have to look out for other problems which might result in hospitalisation, but otherwise four to five weeks of antibiotics should do the trick. Next week we have to phone and describe the foot/leg to see if the swelling has gone down. If so, she’ll prescribe the next batch of antibiotics, if not she’ll come out to assess it again. At least my body temp and my blood pressure were good. She left me a prescription when I assure her I had someone to get it then she left. I put socks and shoes on an went out to pick it up. You might know there was none at the chemist but it was due in so they’d deliver it later. I went home again. I reported to the boss and she let me know poor Reuben’s problem on Tuesday was Hand, Foot and Mouth disease which I’ve never heard of before now. Poor little mite has a rash.

Back at work I tried sitting sideways on to the computer and stick my leg up on the bed. That was very uncomfortable so I had to make do with the floor. I worked until 4.30 pm them went to watch the Antiques Road Trip which I missed when they took it off over Christmas. After that I sorted the mugs ready for the appearance of Dil and Matt. I’d just sat down again and lit a cigarette when they walked in so I had to ‘Hop It’ again and make the drinks. As usual we watched the end of a quiz before getting the games table out. Yahtzee first which was a resounding victory for Dil tonight. Matt  and I won just one each of the six games. We were going for Nomination next but delayed it to play the new game I got for Christmas. It seems everyone likes it despite us teasing Yvonne about buying it for her old dad. Matt won that and had a really good laugh at the same time. Then we played the Nomination whist. Things were going really well for me, I was well over 100 when Dil was just under 100 and Matt was struggling in the forties. As things carried on Dil won a few, I lost a few and Matt more or less stayed put. The poor lad could not win a break. It looked like this was going to be my game though even though Dil edged nearer. Then the last hand Matt shouted 4 and got them, Dil shouted 2 and got them and I shouted 3 and got 4. Dil and I were even so I was even deprived of a game in my own house by my guests.

They left at 9.35 pm and after clearing up, washing up and taking the night meds I came through. There were over 120 messages of which I only managed half before giving up to deal with the blog. The rest will have to wait for morning if I want to get to bed tonight.

Thursday.

It’s been a funny old day. I got up at 4.13 pm, almost luxuriously late and after the long haul one legged to the loo I came back prepared to face the hell on the computer. I didn’t, it was way worse than that. There were 87 pieces of yesterdays post to deal with before I got to today’s stuff. Have you people nothing better to do with your time? What made it worse for me was that most of it was interesting so I couldn’t be smug and just delete it. There were no attempts to part me from my money either so I can’t even try and entertain you.

Given the way my days are the best way I’ve been able to break down times to toke these new antibiotics are 6.00 am, 11.00 am, 4.00 pm and 9.00 pm or thereabouts. So 6.00 am saw me creeping into the kitchen so I didn’t disturb the fish (??? lunatic) and then creeping out again capsule in hand to take it from my drink in the bedroom. At 7.00 am I went back to the kitchen turning the lights on at the wall and at the tank too and chatting to the fish as I dropped food in for them. Big Al was boycotting me, Little Al was dithering between that and missing the food. Sharkey was his annoying self. Morecambe and Wise came for a chat as they like the timbre of my voice ( or is it timber as it’s wooden?) The plecs were happy climbing walls as usual but of my two new friends there was just an occasional glimpse as they darted from hiding place to hiding place. By 9.00 am I was up to date with last night’s post but decided to get dressed before doing any more. Needing a break I sat in the lounge for what I thought was a minute but in fact turned out to be 11.40 am. OMG, I’ve been abducted by aliens, but perhaps not as I hadn’t unlocked the front door this morning. I quickly checked my phone in case Lis and Charlie had been in touch about a visit but even though my phone was for once fully charged, there were no messages.

I hadn’t put socks on today but had to quickly slip some soft shoes on and go for bread so I could have lunch. I’d decided upon bacon with chips and bread with butter. That was very enjoyable and was over and done with by 1.00 pm. Time to stop skiving and get some work done. It was almost as bad as at the start of the day and I now have my proof that neither you nor I can find anything better to do. At 3.30 pm Mike sent a text to say he was on the way to me so I expect between 5.30 – 6.00 pm and then Lis sent a text at about 3.45 pm to say they’d be here about 4.30 – 5.00 pm.  I ceased work at 4.30 pm to be ready ( and also to see my antiques show I admit) and they arrived at 4.45 pm. Hugs and kisses all round thoroughly enjoyed by me, so much so I went back for seconds but they beat me off. I got to hear all about Christmas and the New Year and Charlie had made me some dark chocolate gingers. Mmmm. They had to leave at 5.35 pm and not because I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. More hugs and kisses ensued. YAY. I finished watching one quiz and started watching another. Mike arrived about 6.15 pm after some annoying and typically expensive car troubles. We sat and chatted after I’d made a drink then watched an episode of Big Bang.

I made us both some tea an hour after my last antibiotic and then stayed with Mike a while until it was time to come to work. He’s watched an episode of Endeavour, the young Inspector Morse. I’m finally up to date (for now) but will check again once this post is finished. Who knows, I might make it by midnight again.

This song is a recommendation by my nephew Matt. I found myself enjoying it.

Friday.

This morning was a joyous 5.12 am, but only because I threw a real strop at at 2.08 am. Admittedly I enjoyed a cigarette at that time and made sure my rant lasted long enough but I absolutely refused to get up at that time again. I put my foot down with a very firm hand. The deal was off if I was going to be treated in such a cavalier fashion was rapidly followed by begging “Please let me have an extra couple of hours and I’ll mention all three of you tonight”. So, to show that I haven’t broken faith, allow me to reintroduce the Great and Uppity Somnos, his mediocre, but animal, loving ( and smelling)  brother Porcinus and the almost nonentity Brother Jake. Follow them at your peril, admire them if you must but be sure to go through any contracts with a fine tooth comb.

The mail first thing wasn’t too bad after I’d caught up a little more before bedtime last night. It was still 1.00 am before my light went out though. I remembered to break off for my 6.00 am antibiotic. Talking of which. To remind me when to take them i’d written on the box, 6.11.4.9. When Mike came into the kitchen ( don’t be daft.it was never going to happen at that time this morning) last night he asked me why I’d written it and when I explained he said “Don’t you realise, you’ve written my birthday.” I don’t know how I hadn’t seen it. Plus it was confirmation that he admits to being 14 months older than me. I returned to work after the pill and carried on until 7.00 am.

Big Al had the weight of the world on his shoulders this morning. He was mooching round the front of the tank and kept throwing glances at me. I’m not sure If I was supposed to feel sorry for him. I decided to let them have one of the algae tablets this morning so after giving Morecambe and Wise their flake, I broke a tablet up and scattered it. Big Al latched his mouth on to the biggest piece as it hit the bottom leaving everyone else top find their own much smaller pieces. I’m not sure if it’s a perk of size or seniority. I left them gobbling and turned to take my own meds and prepare my drink. Once that was done and my tablets taken it was time for the weekly filling of the boxes and refilling of the drawer from my new drugs stash. That took a good half hour and so it was 7.45  am before I made the drink.Then I decided it might be nice to have some breakfast this morning so took a pre-food tablet, got the after food ones out ready and lit a cigarette. It should have been an extra five minutes but I went ahead anyway. A small pack of Frosties, just right with a piece of toast. Once finished my coffee was cool enough to take the two tablets with. I returned to work again. By 8.45 I’d done and got myself washed and dressed. As 9.00 am arrived I made a coffee and took it through to Mike who sat up and thanked me. I told him I was going to Pauline’s and wouldn’t be long.

At Pauline’s there was quite a queue. When it came to my turn I had quite a few lottery tickets to buy so I let a few people behind me go with just one or two items. When one elderly woman with a newspaper and a pint of milk appeared I told her to go because I needed a few tickets. She lay down the paper and milk and then rummaged in her handbag and preceded to bring out a winning scratchcard for her son who then wanted lottery tickets with the winnings and a winning scratchcard for herself and she also needed lottery tickets. I thought this was just enough cheek and took my turn straight after. She never even said thank you for the courtesy. So, it was 9.20 am  when I got back home. I took my own milk to the kitchen and was surprised not to see Mike in the lounge. He was still in bed asleep. In a tone that implies deep disappointment I woke him to say he’d forgotten his coffee and reminded him what time it was. He shifted himself.

Sitting in the lounge with Mike I started to feel tired so when he went to the loo I just settled back in my chair for a minute.He decided he might as well get ready to go. That woke me of course, not that I’d done more than relax for a minute and I said goodbye noticing that he’d got up later but left on time compared to previously when he’s up on time and I can’t get the beggar out. Anyway, I went to see what messages had come in.  One was an invitation to have a free birthday meal at The Bells of St Mary’s ( with another paying customer) which sounded good but I had the devil’s own job trying to print it out. There was no print option, just one to scan by phone. After a very long time I managed a screen dump of the part of the page showing the code. Then came three or four emails with Yvonne trying to figure out where to eat for my birthday. Despite it being my day, it looks like the options aren’t mine whether we go or not. She”s trying to work her way up to a biggie next year which I’m determined to have at home. I hate it when people are invited to meals like that and feel obligated to buy a gift and have to buy meals on top.

At 11.00 am I took my next antibiotic then carried on with the mail until 12..00 am when it was time for lunch. Another one of the infamous shepherd’s pies. I’d just finished when there was a knock on the door. It was the warden come for her weekly check on me. It was lashing down outside and the wind was picking up. Just as well she was wrapped up. We talked about the forecast of snow for tomorrow and she wasn’t keen on that at all. She gave me company for about 15 minutes then had to go to her next call. I didn’t envy her that rain. Worse still, I didn’t envy her the wind which was picking up in speed. I watched the remainder of the antiques show and shut my eyes for one of those thirty minute minutes. So it was 1.30 pm before I got back to work. That meant working hard in order to see the last episode this week of Father Brown. I was five minutes late. When that finished at 3.00 pm I made Mike’s bed before coming back through. Whatever happened I was determined to be done by 4.30 pm so my bed can wait.

At 4.30 pm I was temporarily up to date and went through to watch the Antique Road Trip’s last episode of the week. It had just started when my phone burped. I expected a message from Mike to say he was on his way back. I was 50% right, it was Mike only he was in a hospital in Manchester with his dad, just where he’d been 2 weeks ago on Christmas day. His wrist is broken after the fall after all. Today he’s having temporary strapping and has to go back Monday afternoon to have the job done properly. Mike needs to stay over Sunday night now. Oh good, an extra day’s B & B from him now. He’ll be back late tonight as he’s having a mel with his sister once he’s fed his dad and seen him off to bed. His carer will be with him for breakfast.( Dad not Mike ). At 6.00 pm I went through and made my bed then went to take a shower. After that I put in a little,work until an episode of Who Do You Think You Are with Gary Lineker. A fascinating programme. I wish we could all get that kind of help with our family trees. Having said that, if you need help try WWW.CT-RESEARCH.COM (lower case) . Connie and Tony are two of the most competent and helpful people I know. They’re good with puzzles and are really friendly.

I took my next antibiotic at 9.00 pm and realised somehow I’d missed the 4.00 pm one. I thought I might as well take my evening ones at the same time. I stayed in the lounge watching a comedy just in case Mike arrived back but at 9.40 pm as there was no  sign I came to make up for all my skiving. I’m sure no-one heard me scream. There were quite a few in both mailboxes and it was difficult to catch up. But, being a veteran of these wars now, I gave it my best attempt. I an knocking off at 11.50 pm and Mike has just returned.

Saturday.

I  went through to make Mike a cup of coffee and get the full saga of his day. And what a day it was too with carers, doctors,  x-rays, bone settings and throughout it all having to deal with his dad whose mood was not the most helpful. The story took a while and I went to bed at 1.00 pm and Mike headed for his bedroom still jumping with adrenalin. I’m not sure when I went to sleep but 2.24 am was today’s prize time for getting up. Granted my bladder wasn’t helping much either. As I went to the loo I noticed Mike was still awake and reading. Once the deluge had finished I went through and we talked for a few minutes until I actually saw him yawn. I left and came through to the computer. At 3.00 am more than a little frustrated I went to get some painkillers and noticed sleep had claimed Mike.

When I got back to the computer I turned off and back on to start afresh. Every time I’d tried to like something so far, or pressed comment I’d been taken to the Blogs I Follow, WordPress page. I’d had to do a search on each blog to enter it and do what I intended. It was just taking an age doing it that way. The reboot worked and I sailed through the remaining posts finishing at 4.45 am. I celebrated with a drink of squash in the kitchen then a prowl through ebay at the catfish available there. I was so surprised to see small pangasius there ( Like my favourite fish ‘Zippy’) since anyone taking those was going to need a massive tank since some can soon grow to a metre. They’re known as shark catfish because of their look but I found zippy to be intelligent and to have a very passive nature.

Beautiful Pangasius. shark catfish.

I think I’m attracted ( in the right way ) to these fish because of their spectacular moustaches. At 6.00 am I went through to take an antibiotic and though I crept very quietly I felt eyes on me the minute I walked into the kitchen. It’s not even as though I turned the light on , my torch stopped me needing to do that………….        I gave in and turned the tank light on. Morecambe and Wise were watching me from the top of the tank, with Big Al, Little Al and one of the plecs watching me from below like the Codfather and a couple of wiseguys. If I’d have seen a violin case at that moment I’d still be running. Though officially it’s non-feeding day I was taking no chances and just tipped a full box through the hatch. Mind you, they’ll have the devil’s own job of getting the lid off. Hah.! I took the antibiotic and went back to my room. Another 30 minutes saw me up to date and I was feeling cocky enough to re-approach the kitchen.  OK, I’d taken my dressing gown off hoping they’d think it was someone else. This time I took my normal morning meds , prepared a cup for my coffee and started to get the rubbish and the recycling waste ready to go out. Trouble was it was persisting down and blowing a gale out there. In the end I took it out and planted the food waste bin on top of the recycling bags to try and hold them down. When I came back in. I was amazed to hear Mike’s alarm go off.  To be honest I fully expected him to turn it straight off but I saw him sit up. I asked “Are you going back to sleep bro, or do you want a drink?”  He told me he’d have a drink so I put the kettle on while I made mine and when it was ready I made one and took it through. He was asleep again. “Coffee’s up” I called not really caring if he stayed asleep. I went outside and added something to the rbbish and when I came back in he was actually up. Honest, really, and he was awake and actually hitting his mouth with the drink.

It was a later start but not by much really as we left the house at 8.10 am. We were at the Supermarket by 8.30 am and in shopping mode. Within the first ten minutes I’d got some potatoes, Ju’s flowers and some clothing from the sale for myself. Well, you can’t NOT get a cardigan and a pair of jeans at £4 a peace can you? Please don’t answer that.  OK, OK, there was a shirt too at just £3 but that’s it honest. After that we honestly put some food in the basket. Mike was doing some shopping for his dad today, washing powder etc so if there wasn’t as much room for food in my trolley ( technically his I suppose as he paid for it)  as usual it’s all his fault. After going through the checkout we went for coffee.

When we’d packed the car and had a cigarette it was decided we’d go to Flint but on the way there was a slight detour via Pets at Home so I could see the pet rats and we could both view the fish. We didn’t buy anything and resumed the journey. Today Mike needed another coffee before anything else so we went in and had a Happy New Year hug from Ceri, had a laugh with Sian and tried not to upset Kyle’s hangover. Mike had his usual teasted toecake then threw the biscuit from his saucer straight into his coffee to soften. Oops, error, it was a change of biscuit this week and was already quite soft. It almost disintegrated in the fumes before it touched liquid. He had to fish it out in bits. He didn’t make the same mistake with my biscuit. I thought we were going to check one shop out for an ice pack when we’d done, but it turned into two, three, four as well as a minor detour inside the pet store to look at, you guessed it, fish. Tonight I’m writing begging letters to the Gettys, The Gugenheins, Bill Gates and Madonna to see if they’d like to buy me a 12 foot tank so I can keep adopt some large homeless catfish.

We realised it was now gone 1.00 pm and I’d forgotten to take my 11.00 am antibiotic and also I needed some food so we headed straight off to the Ivy. Angie gave us a kiss (each) and got me a glass of water so the first problem was solved. We had to share our seats today as interlopers had dug themselves in despite the reserved sign. Angie had got our drinks so we ordered lunch and I was able to take my pre-food tab. Young Rob came over to say hello as he passed by with some food deliveries. It was fairly busy again.  We took the opportunity to nip out for a cigarette and moments later Tariq came flying out to say hello. He knew who it was as soon as he got the food order, double bacon sandwiches with a bucket of chips between us. After we’d gone back in, lunch wasn’t long in arriving and then Shella came out to say Hi too. It’s like coming to eat with family. He’s even given up arguing with me over payment these days.

Lunch over and hugs goodbye out of the way we headed for home. One we’d put the shopping away, I was allowed on the computer, well he is OLDER than me. In what I thought was a gross mistake I found 144 outstanding messages. I was within about 25 of the end when he called me through to watch TV with him. It had taken from 3.15 to 5.25 pm to get this far, and that was more luck than judgement. I stayed until 8.40 pm then he saw me twitching and let me come back. It’s been another long haul but I think I’ll make it before midnight- just.

Another Welsh one tonight.

Have a Wonderful New Week everybody.

Mouth Open Incredulity.

Sorry folks this is a more serious post this week though I won’t deny there’s humour ( maybe) to be found in it. A week and a half ago my ‘bro’ informed me a friend had been taken to hospital with a stroke. Mike said he was coming up to see me so we could visit together. I’m not going to say the stroke was a major surprise since our friend has had heart problems, has angina, diabetes and atheriosclerosis. I won’t tack a partridge in a pear tree on the end in case you think it’s his Christmas shopping list and I’m jealous. Anyway, a week last Thursday evening Mike arrived and before we went to visit our friend on the Friday he filled me in on the saga.

It seems our friend has woken on the Wednesday morning feeling a bit under the weather but wasn’t able to put a finger on the reason. ( hardly a surprise since I think one arm was affected). He’d gone off to DRIVE to the supermarket to shop, despite having done his shopping the day before, had reached there safely but stood in the doorway with no idea where he was or why he was there. He then decided to go home, unfortunately he couldn’t remember where home was. The God of ‘Crazy’ was looking down that day and reminded him that his sat-nag system would hold directions home. Amazingly it did and DRIVING again he actually made it. Still feeling unwell he decided to go back to bed.

A while later he got up and realised there must be something wrong as he still didn’t feel right. How someone’s brain functions under these circumstances I will never fathom but he decided to phone the doctor. He got through to the receptionist. For those of you who don’t live in the UK there is a breed of receptionist who regard the doctors as their cubs and protect them accordingly. They ask innumerable questions regarding your need to see a doctor which includes a questionnaire as to whether you have ever, do now or will in the future,  harbour any ill will towards said doctors. The end result of this phone interview was ‘Come In’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This wasn’t what I expected to hear. My reasons for this will become apparent. He DROVE to the surgery after once again getting the whereabouts from his sat-nag. Had it not been for the fact he has to go quite frequently he could still be driving around now. Anyway the doctor took one look at him and listened to him, sathim down and sent for an ambulance to rush him to hospital. Our friend asked about his thrummer and the clever doctor advised him his car would be well taken care of while he was away. That’s mainly the reason I was incredulous at the receptionist asking our friend to come in rather than arranging a home visit ( yes folks out there, we still have those over here).

On the Friday Mike and I visited the hospital and though out friend was able to stand unsteadily he was suffering from aphasia. (  a disturbance of the comprehension and formulation of language caused by dysfunction in specific brain regions. This class of language disorder ranges from having difficulty remembering words to losing the ability to speak, read, or write ).  The visit was a shock. It was frustrating for our friend seeing the lack of comprehension on our faces when he asked Mike how his flimflamgorgle was. I was ready to suggest the cream he’d used was taking the swelling down , but Mike himself was playing twenty questions trying to guess what the actual word wanted was. A three-minute conversation took at least an hour and our friend was becoming more frustrated and excitable the longer it took us to guess. When he said he remembered my frit it wasn’t a French fry he’d once seen me eat he meant but my Ju. Ah well, she’s been called worse things.

By the time visiting was over we were all worn out. Mike and I left promising to call in and sort out the dog before we went home. That meant travelling a good way further away from home to do so and to check all was well before heading for home again. The entire car journey in both directions was spent talking about how lucky he, and all other road users, had been on that Tuesday. Saturday was pretty much a repeat except our friend’s sister was there at his bedside. She was sharing our doggie duty by seeing to the early shift. By a series of sign language, gestures no woman ( especially a sister) should ever see, and guessing games with dromfangfoodles we managed to get through the afternoon after which we went to  supermarket for dog food, cigarettes ( yes, he was smoking in the hospital) and a quick look for a gift for my son-in law in the sales ( I’m physically unable to walk past a sign that says SALE or I’d be poorly), we ran his sister home and went to see to the dog. That done we headed back to the hospital to drop off the cigarettes and some pastilles to stimulate the salivary gland ( don’t even ask how we worked that one out), then headed home to eat. On Sunday morning Mike had to head off home again. It’s a couple of hundred miles as the crow flies but since our roads don’t do the straight lines that crows do, it takes him a while.

My bro and I keep in touch, so when I had a message on Wednesday it was nothing unusual until he told me that our friend was home. WHAT !! (No, I’ve not gone deaf, that was showing a new round of incredulity). What happens in stroke cases is that before the patient ( impatient) is discharged a doctor will decide he’s well enough to go, the social work team will take the patient ( impatient) home for a few hours to assess them. Can they manage stairs, can they make a cuppa without scalding themselves, do they know who they are etc. We had left our friend knowing this would happen and hoping that the assessment would show that he’d need a warden controlled bungalow or something smaller he could manage. However, we hadn’t taken into account our friends predilection for being a very impatient patient and leaving before that happened. So,  today Mike is here again and we’ve been over to visit our friend at home. His aphasia has improved remarkably so that now we can catch almost every swear word. He hasn’t informed his doctor he’s home( his sister is away and doesn’t know), he can’t manage his stairs easily but at least he can still make a coffee though he made mine too strong and didn’t put enough sugar in Mike’s. We think he’s come home too early since his memory is obviously affected too. He should stay there till he knows how we take our drinks and can serve them without spillage.

It’s obvious that our friend is really much improved but that his impatience could cost him dear in terms of help since he left early. Now we have to liaise with his sister to see if those assessments can still take place and he can be found a more suitable place to live. Some folks don’t help themselves do they~?

 

That Was the Week that Was

Normally I’d post on a Wednesday to let you know how the horse riding has gone, and how the smile goes from horse to Ju to me. This week hasn’t been like that.

On Tuesday night Ju started to feel some breakthrough pain. She’d taken her normal tablets  and then her emergency ones without getting any ease. By 11.00pm she was really hurting. There was no choice but to call the out of hours service and get the Marie Curie Nurses. Because of the stupidity of our system they had quite a distance to cover from another Shire and arrived at 12.15am. By 12.20 am she’d had an injection of morphine and I hoped she’d sleep. The nurses left about 1.00am and as Ju seemed to be resting I went to bed. By 2.00 am she was in obvious distress again and was now being sick as well,  so it was back on to the service. Ju hates being sick and is quite prepared to stop fighting when that happens. The first team were out on another job so they’d send our local team out. Local? So why send those from far away first time round? We had a phone call back saying they’d leave as soon as the’d spoken to a doctor about the dosage Ju was allowed. I was able to tell them the dosage and frequency so they set off.

By 2.30 am the second dose of morphine had been administered but we were worried about the sickness. The Marie Curie Nurses said they asked the doctor about that too and he was coming. He arrived and gave her an injection of something to get rid of the nausea. He was obviously a little annoyed he couldn’t get round the bed easily because of Ju’s crafting stuff and suggested I might like to clear it. I bit my tongue and said I’d see when someone could do it. I didn’t think gone 3.00 am was a good time to start and he did’t need access there and then.I was probably a little tired. Anyhoo, by 4.00am they’d all gone so I made myself a coffee and sat watching Ju for a while while she slept.

I decided to get my head down about 5.00 am. I managed to fall asleep until 7.50 am when it was time to get up and see to the girls. I gave them a chocolate drop each and then feeling very guilty walked round apologising that ‘Mummy’ wouldn’t be getting them out to play today. I’m sure there were some glares thrown at me so I passed them all a Shreddie with a little milk on. Time to turn the fish on, I’ll rephrase that in case you think I’m wearing my fishnet stockings, time to turn the lights on the fish tank. Then it’s my meds and a coffee. I took a cup of tea through to Ju and she was awake but sore and tired. Time to phone and cancel riding for today. She’s been invited on one on Sunday again so I reckon it’s too early to cancel that. Wednesday her normal meds seemed to hold her but she stayed in bed for the day holding court with one visitor after another and gossiping with Yvonne who’d come to look after her precious Mum.

Thursday. Ju seemed to have no overnight problems and we both got some rest. I took her tea through and suggested she might like to get up for a while so I could change her bedding. She sat in the lounge talking to the girls but didn’t take them out again. I was in and out answering emails or nipping to the shops for a paper and some lunch. It was late morning I saw her pick up the phone and she rand the doctors to ask for a visit. I was puzzled as she hadn’t complained, but she said the pain was back. He came but persuaded her to stick to the tablets for the day and if things hadn’t improved by 5.00pm to phone him again. That was kind, and she didn’t need to. She struggled a bit overnight but no nurses were called out.

Friday. For some reason I was up answering emails at 4.30 am today. I didn’t go through to the lounge until 8.00pm and was shocked to see at least 4 inches of snow on the ground. Where the heck did tht come from? A rhetorical question honestly. And it was still snowing. I gave the girls a chocolate drop or maybe gave one girl 4 chocolate drops since I couldn’t actually look them in the eye so guilty did I feel. Ju and I normally shop early on a Friday so they don’t get their playtime but they’ve missed so much this week. I took a cuppa through and Ju wasn’t looking well. I had my meds, got a coffee and cancelled the Sunday ride. Her MacMillan Nurse arrived and gave her a morphine injection with an anti nausea one. Fair play she did balance it out, one in each arm. Then she left for a while. I went to the shops for my Euro Lottery ticket which is going to make me filthy rich tonight- no, dammit, I can afford soap. There was no way I could do my shopping with the snow and with Ju ill. The paper says 36 hours of this weather with maybe 12″ of snow. Oh Joy !

Ju had some toast for lunch and another cup of tea, that’s all I could get her to try. Then the district nurses arrived. There are always two so I’m sure one comes to hold the handbags. In all honesty they’re great. They brought a driver to attach to Ju so she gets a continuous feed of morphine to kill the pain. Most of the afternoon it seems to have been working but I know when they come to change it tomorrow Ju or I will have to tell them the pain had broken through by this evening. So, currently I haven’t been shopping so haven’t been able to get to the bank. Even If I had cash there’s nothing to buy round here for dinner. We’ll be sharing the rat’s food for the weekend unless a friend can take me shopping tomorrow or I can find a taxi willing to take me to a cash machine first. Of course once I tell them I’ve won 80m on the lottery they’ll be keen to help won’t they? I’m hoping against hope that Ju will at least be able to get out of bed tomorrow even if she can’t go out.( and do my shopping for me). Maybe she can allow the girls half an hour out of their cage. But most of all I want her free of this pain and fighting again beside me.I HATE this Cancer.

Wind from proverbial sails.

I’ve prevaricated enough. For the last 3 hours I’ve sat here in front of the computer doing things automatically, answering mail, trying to be funny, showing an interest, anything rather than this. A friend who is in touch most day and always asks me about Ju told me not to forget that my good friends here would be looking for updates.

I said I was holding back for now to give the hospice time to work on the drug dosages so that I could announce Ju was coming home. Well, on Saturday Ju announce she’d be home tomorrow and was going riding on Wednesday. I know the Doctor had told her ” Do whatever you want to do” ( No she’s not related to Alistair Crowley for all you black magicians out there), but I imagined she meant to add ” within reason”.

Yesterday ( Sunday for all you reading any day other than Monday) Yvonne, Ugo and I took Ju out for lunch. Yvonne had bought Ju a new dress. Very loose and soft so it didn’t hurt her stomach, and a lightweight jacket. It wasn’t far to travel and when we got there Ju was delighted to find my two nieces that we can’t shake off  adore. The meal was lovely though Ju didn’t eat much and when it came to an end she started complaining of feeling sick and bloated which is a problem at most mealtimes. She was also suffering some discomfort from a pair of light tights she was wearing. So we took her back to the hospice and she changed back into a nightdress and lay down. She stayed that way the whole afternoon.

Today I wrote a list of questions for the doctor at the hospice about things like is there anything to control the feeling of nausea after eating. Things I need to know for when she comes home. I took it in when I went there at lunchtime. One of my nephews and his wife was there. They’d just come from the hospital where David had been checked after having had cancer lasered from one side of his throat recently. He still has the other side to go. His poor tongue was swollen and he was speaking in a high pitched whisper.As usual we threw insults towards each other in fun. When they left I checked with Ju that tomorrow was still the day and she said “Yes, then riding Wednesday.” On the basis of not being able to wear tights yesterday I asked her to reconsider. After all how would she manage with jodhpurs. If she said she could do it, fine, but I wanted her to think about it. She did and decided she wouldn’t manage and would I mind her staying in the hospice one more day to be sure the drugs were right. I don’t mind at all. There is a fear that she’s coming home because of me rather than because she should. As my carer ( laugh inserted here) she feels she should be home. That’s the wrong reason. Then she stood up to give me a hug and told me she’d been afraid to tell me before (everyone else knew) that she’s been told it’s a matter of weeks now rather than months.

We’ve gone from the expectation of having some excess fluid drained to a sudden death sentence in less than a week and I’m still reeling from it. I don’t know what to say or what to do. I’m sure some of you will think I’m irreverent for adding jokes in a blog post this serious but I promise it’s a defence mechanism. If I don’t joke what do I do? So all I can say is I’m sorry I’ve had to relay the news like this. Hell I’m sorry I’ve had to relay it at all. But I will try to keep you posted as Ju and I try to defy the odds again and astound the medical profession. I always tell her about the wonderful comments you make and she’s always grateful and sends her thanks and love back. I as always say thank you and send Huge Hugs to all ( Bro-Hugs to men).

The Zombie State

No, this is not a State that’s crept into the Union unobserved in America. I refer to a state of mind and body.

Last night was a bad night with Ju going to bed early because of pain. Actually if she goes to bed much earlier it will be straight after breakfast. She took her normal  morphine dose and lay watching TV which these days give you another kind of pain. At 8 o’clock the pain was worse so I suggested she take a dose of the emergency dose we’d agreed with the MacMillan Nurse. By midnight she was writhing in pain and even the extra dose had done nothing, but since it had been four hours since the other a again suggested another dose. Ju was wary but did so. By one o’clock things hadn’t improved, and though she didn’t want to call a doctor I impressed upon her that it wouldn’t hurt to just talk to one and explain the problem.

She agreed. ( I always said miracles happen) so we phoned NHS Direct where Ju spoke first to the lady who assesses the problem ? after which she promised to get a nurse to call back. One did, and a nice young man he was, very helpful. Before agreeing Ju should take another dose of morphine he promised to speak to a doctor and comeback to us.

At two o’clock the phone rang and it was a doctor. Ju went over the problem again- pancreatic cancer, inoperable, distended stomach, awaiting scan, please help. By now both she and I were getting very tired. The doctor was a wonder. He’s come out and give an injection, but as he was coming from Wrexham it would take a while. Wonderful. At 3 o’clock he arrived was very kind to Ju, gave the injection and at 3.30 he left. Just before he went he gave me an ampoule of morphine and some paperwork to show that if we needed this again we could call the Marie Curie nurses ( who are closer) and he gave instructions to them to inject this ampoule .

Being sure now that Ju would settle and that she needed nothing I went to sleep and though I woke at five I decided to sleep again until I woke at seven.Guessing Ju would not be up to shopping I  left her where she was and concentrated on giving the girls a treat and turning on the lights of the fish tank and feeding them. I had texted Yvonne last night to say we wouldn’t be shopping so she needn’t rush to meet us. Cruel as I am I woke Ju gently at 8.30 to see how she was and whether she was up to playtime with the girls or not. They generally miss out on a Friday morning as we leave the house early. She decided she was tired but OK and would get the girls out for a while. The phone rang and I picked up the receiver in the lounge meaning to pas it to Ju but it was dead. I passed the one from the hall to her quickly and while she answered it, I went to see why the other one was dead. My suspicions were correct. SOMETHING had bitten through the cable to the plug. I wasn’t sure who’d been the last escapee from the degu cage and out of kindness I was ruling out Saffy, but one of her daughters has really pi**ed me off. This is the second set of phones I’ve had to buy. Anyway, the phone call was from Ju’s sister Mu who said she’d had nightmares about Ju last night and she and John would visit today.

I couldn’t face breakfast but gave Ju a small bowl of Rice Krispies for the rats. I was too mean for Shreddies today and off I went with a coffee to start my mail. 99 messages were waiting and I groaned. Hadn’t I suffered enough? Obviously not. Yvonne sent a message to say she was on her way but the bus was stuck in traffic and could I tell her how her Ma was. I could, I did. By 9.45 I was coming to an end because luckily few had meant a long reply and those people who just needed blog comments were to be disappointed today. Time to get dressed. A few minutes past ten Yvonne arrived and you could see she was worried and upset. Her talk of not applying make-up didn’t ring true. It must be terrible to be far away when something happens and you can’t see how the land lies. I feel bad that I obviously didn’t do enough to dispel her fears but to be honest I was feeling quite zombie like about then.

10.30 and MuJo arrived. I dashed to the kitchen to put the kettle on while they hugged Ju and said their hellos’s. Drinks taken care of I slid out of the room and went back to my computer. John joined me to get away from chatter. I was able to pass him a ruby pendant he’d asked me to get for Mu as the firm I deal with are unbeatable. (For all you Ebay afficionado’s it’s 925-silver-link ). Then, with lunch time fast approaching Mu offered to take me shopping and she could pick up something for lunch at the same time. I love my S/I/L but she drives ahem sedately around 20 mph with traffic backing up behind her. 21 mph and John is shouting “Slow down woman, it’s not Brands Hatch”.  I’m glad the store isn’t far away. We made it safely and I started round. Mu told me to take my time yet started putting things like  a hot chicken and hot sausage rolls in my trolley. I moved faster. As I did, she was catching me up and putting items of her own shopping in the trolley and my space was getting less and less. I called it quits and suggested we left while the food was still hot. Mu dealt with speaking at the counter for me and I just smiled and paid up so I was OK.

After lunch Yvonne had to leave. Mu walked with her to the bus stop while John and I sat with Ju. That lasted 5 minutes till Ju announced she needed to lie down.( I must change my deodorant).Our Doctor rang to say he was upping the dosage of morphine and would write a prescription out for her. Within a few minutes she was snoring away for Britain. Mu returned and said she’s run me to the doctors to collect the prescription. I swear I didn’t say I could run quicker than she could run me but the temptation was there. John said he’d stay with Ju. Off we went ever so sedately again though I’m sure at one point we reached 25mph because John wasn’t with us. What a rebel. She got the right road and turned in and I pointed out the doctor’s car park. I was still pointing at it as we sailed past it and Mu entered the hospital overflow car park. “Where’s the surgery” she asked. I was still pointing though now my arm was wrapped round my neck. I got out, walked across the grass verges, through the doctor car park and down the hill to the entrance. The staff know me by sight if not by voice and I soon had the prescriptions in my hand. Back up the hill, across the car park and over the verge, gasping for breath I reached the car. “I should have parked in that car park shouldn’t I ” asked Mu.

We stopped at the chemist near home where they also know me well and within a few minutes my order was filled. Mu had gone ahead so I walked home clutching my hope for tonight.I gently woke Ju and asked if  she was well enough to come through as her sister was about to go.  MuJo wished us goodbye and promised to see us next week. That left just Ju and I. We sat companionably for a while then about 4,00 pm she had to go back to bed. I understood as I knew how tired she must be feeling. I started to watch a Move to the Country programme on the TV knowing my favourite antiques programme was on at half past. That was it. I woke at 5.15 just after it had finished. I went to see that Ju was OK and confessed I’d nodded off. “I know ” she said, “Mike told me.He even kissed you on the forehead and you didn’t move.” My brother had called to borrow a bucket as he’s cleaning the house he’s moving out of soon and he’s off to a new flat in the Midlands. No more Bro at the weekends to banter with. How I hadn’t woken with him here I’ll never know. So, I watched a quiz till six and then came back to my mail for the day.I feel like a zombie now but know if I go to bed too early I’ll be up and working at 4 am tomorrow. Still. I usually am no matter what time I go to sleep. A built in alarm clock.

What to do, what to do.

I’ve mentioned recently that neither Julia nor I are at our best at the moment which may account for my lack of forethought today. All will be explained.

Last Friday we had a visit from the Macmillan Nurse in response to a request and telling them that Ju’s stomach was/is very distended and painful. It’s fortunate that apart from her regular prescribed morphine she also has emergency doses for times like this. She wouldn’t have had them still if she’d let me have them when I dropped a knife on my toe last week though. Still that’s by the by. ‘M’ for that’s the designation I shall give the Nurse thought it possible that there was a large fluid build up which needed draining. As it was too late to do anything on Friday she’s arrange for bloods t be taken on Monday this week and she’s speak to the Oncologist about seeing Ju as soon as possible.

The ‘LEECH’ came on Monday and removed the obligatory armful from Ju and left the rest of the day free for us. I reminded Ju of something we needed from the next town over to distract her and then said that on the way we could drop off  prescription request with my doctor. This we did and just outside the surgery Ju suggested making an appointment for me. My distraction hadn’t worked but with a sigh of relief I pointed out how full the car park was meaning it would be unlikely there would be free appointments now, and that we couldn’t make them for Tuesday in case the oncologist called. We went and picked up the non-urgent item, had a coffee and returned home. No phone calls Monday.

Tuesday we did nothing exciting but despite the wait no phone call. On Wednesday we went to collect my prescription from the surgery but I still had the excuse of not knowing when her far more urgent appointment would appear. As we got home there was a message on the phone from the hospital’s resident Macmillan Nurse to say she needed to  speak to Ju but try as we might we couldn’t get hold of her. Today we needed to go out to the bank which of course meant having a coffee out. On our return Ju had a call from our daughter who is a little less patient than we are. The Oncologist would see us at 2.30 today. She wouldn’t be able to be there to see Dr. Drool with us and was sad but Ju was to faithfully repeat every phrase in his delightful accent on our return.

We arrived at 2.00pm and decided t have a glass of orange rather than torture ourselves with tea or coffee from the League of Fiends kiosk. It was lovely but a mistake as I then needed the loo. Dare I go in case Ju was called or should I just persevere with crossed legs? I decided to go in case it became a case of crossed eyes and a total inability to walk. I made it back safely before Ju was called. The great weigh in showed there is another loss of weight which led to guilty looks from Ju. I know cancer patient lose weight but she doesn’t help by not eating much. Anyway, I told tales on her to Dr.Sex Bomb and got her a new course of steroids to see if we can improve the appetite. He palpated her stomach and decided we’d better have a new ultrasound scan to see how things lie. I bit my tongue at this point as I’ve said before now we need to see what’s what in there. But the silken tones of the Good Doctor Gorgeous placated even me this time. Actually he distracted me by asking where his fan club was this time.                The appointment will probably be the beginning of next week.

On coming out Julia and I went off to the pharmacist and as we waited for the steroids Ju decided to text Yvonne to say how she’s got on and also texted one of my nieces. That was where my problems started since I hadn’t told the girls where we were going and who we were going to see. We were back in the car coming home before Ju’s phone beeped with a text. I cringed. All has been peaceful since Sunday when my nieces were here and I knew things were going to happen, and not good things either. When we got home I nipped to my bedroom where I’d left my phone. There were three outstanding messages from Niece Number 1. Starting with why didn’t I say we’d got an appointment, to how could I go to see Dr. Yummy without their support ( read- without them ogling him) to have I got my doctor’s appointment yet? Niece Number 2 has still to come back to me but it’s written in stone she will. I’m semi safe tomorrow as I know it’s main shopping day and as Yvonne is meeting us it’s just a case of staying out long enough to make sure it’s too late for an appointment then. For now I asked Ju to text my niece and say my phone has no credit so I’m safe tonight. But tomorrow…… What to do, what to do?

The Diagnosis.

In order not to disappoint my antipodean friends and those of the ‘I told you so persuasion” I admit to seeing the doctor today. Unfortunately as the pins in the voodoo doll must have worked I woke with a gyppy tummy today. I suppose it’s just conceivable that it had something to do with the liquorice allsorts of yesterday but after all, why take the chance of spreading any new illness in the surgery. Even more unfortunately that excuse didn’t hold water with my doctor who decided to do a home visit instead.

With waiting for the back and forth telephone calls to make arrangements either to visit or leave a prescription my chances of going out to enjoy a morning coffee dwindled before my eyes, even afternoon tea was out the window when the last call came to confirm “I’m just around the corner and will be there in minutes” at half past three. By twenty five to four there he was gone. The look, the questions and the bloody cold stethoscope all led to the same conclusion. I have a cough. Mind you, the deafening proportions of the cough might have given it away. Well, he should have warmed the stethoscope up first.

I have a deep seated infection. Of the dire rear there was no mention and I’d already hidden the box of allsorts when I hid the ashtrays and cigarettes. I reminded the doc via my interpreter Lady J ( I don’t talk to doctors well) that amoxycillin are like Smarties and just about as effective. He chose to leave me a prescription for Doxycycline 100mg which I’m sure I had last year as the last of the four I took. The rules with these are to take two straight away with a meal and then one daily with a meal. No way am I having a meal mid afternoon like that so after Julia had been to the chemist ( drugstore) I had two (OK 4 ) dark chocolate digestives and the tablets. He also left me a bottle of some kind of suspension to take 10mls three times daily so I took a swig there and then. Not bad, but nt as tasty as my own choice.

What amazed me when I come to check out the medicines is that I note the Doxycycline are given for acne, syphilis, tick bites and malaria. I hadn’t realised just how sophisticated the stethoscope has become to pick up on all those as well as the bronchitic infection. Medicine moves on apace doesn’t it.

By the way, no chance at all I’m not going out for morning coffee tomorrow or I’ll be stir crazy but I promise to wrap up warm mum.