A Bony Fido Human & The Siren Sounds

Sunday April 5th 2015 Easter Sunday.

This morning’s time is so close to yesterday’s I can ‘t help wonder whether there is significance to them. They are 7 minutes apart and it could easily have taken me that much longer to get to sleep.The one thing I do note is that it’s less than an hour and a half since I turned my light out ergo Naff all sleep again. I know some people would suggest I just stayed in bed. But, I had woken before that time as I had yesterday, and had stayed in bed at that point, still tired. When I woke up his time, I was wide awake and wouldn’t have got back to sleep staying in bed. There’s nothing to say I won’t have to indulge myself in 50 winks later though. That’s allowing for inflation and a cost of living rise.

Obviously there is a benefit to being up and about so early, apart from messing with Big Al’s mind by making him think it’s daylight of course. That benefit is that I can attack my post early. I did that this morning and was surprised to see only one message left from last night, amazing, and even more amazing was that I’d deal with that and those of today ( so far) by 5.14 am. I needed a drink so I went in to turn the kitchen light on ( Sorry Al) and open a new 2 litre bottle of my Pepsi Max. Rather than take it through with me, I decided to fill some 500 ml and 600 ml bottles I had ready to go in the recycling bag. I filled three and my shaky hands took care of another couple of hundred ml down the sink.The smaller bottles are much easier to manage at the computer or in bed at night. There was enough left in the big bottle for a small drink before the bottle goes in the bag.I turned the light off and made it another very short day for Big Al. More confusing than ever for him I decided while I was in this direction I might as well feed them. On went the light again and this time the tank light was added.Harold and Pepper approached and as the food was added they sped up. Big Al had disappeared.naturally and I reckon he was sulking in a very Queen Victoria “We are not amused” kind of way.I wasn’t worried about the other two, they’d smell the food.

Having dealt with the Divas I concentrated on taking my meds. I’d used my sprays and put the first batch of tablets in my mouth. I took a drink of milk to help get rid of them and then part way, for some reason, the thought had occurred to me that the milk was off. If Mike was here he’d tell you how much entertainment he gets from watching me try to swallow tablets. I have to get my frame of mind just right, take a few tentative goes at it then throwing my head back, swallow. Now I was in a quandry. I could bob my head back and forth but dare I swallow anyway since if the milk is off they’ll be straight back out anyway.And, if the milk is OK and I keep doing this, the tablets will dissolve in my mouth and I’m likely to pebbledash the wall again in an effort to get rid. Oh Dammit! In the end I had to force myself to swallow and the milk was fine but my nerves were shredded.I think Big Al sniggered. With all the dignity I could muster I made a coffee and departed the kitchen.

By the time 9.00 am rolled round I was up to date and having a whale of a time ordering birthday presents from ebay. I probably spent a lot longer there than I should but I was having a whale of a time. When  came out the mail was back up again.  You lot are really sly waiting till my back is turned to start writing. I only worked till 11.40 am then went through to check on what I was having for lunch and make a start on it. My intention was to return to work straight afterwards, honestly it was. I had brisket which was supposed to be in a bourbon BBQ sauce but since the sauce was in a separate sachet I did without, much preferring to have onion gravy. I had boiled baby potatoes in herbs and some petit pois.The gravy brought it all together nicely for me. I bought another one of these joints for John ,so he can have the extra sachet of BBQ sauce. Five minutes into my lunch the programme that was on ended. That didn’t bother me too much as I’d be going back to work soon. Then a film came on. Patch Adams which stared Robin Williams and was based on a true story. Sorry folks, I did my washing up in the commercial break and decided to ignore you all and keep watching. I have seen it before many moons ago and can’t help wondering if the hospital ‘Gesundheit’ still survives and is doing well. It was getting on for 2.30 pm before I actually returned to work. Typically it seems a lot of you have ignored both the Christian ethos of not working on the 7th day and the rest ignore the fact it’s a holiday. Whatd’ye mean so am I, did I claim Sainthood? Anyway it’s supposed to be do as I say not as I do. Not that it’s ever worked before. I mean how could it, I had a wife and daughter which means I was beaten from the off.

There was a lot of post but at least the spammers seem to have taken the hint about Easter. Everything was clear cut and generated by a ‘bony fido’ human being. Most was a pleasure to read if not comment on. Chris, the story reading ape even brought a smile to my face with a real groaner of a joke, but at least he admitted it. I worked through the afternoon until 6.00 pm when it seemed a good idea to stop for tea and my second batch of food related tablets. A nice salted beef sandwich with a bag of crisps and a yoghurt was nice. Two of my dark chocolate ginger biscuits was nicer still. I stayed to watch a couple of old episodes of The Big Bang Theory before coming back to see how I was doing on ebay. Not a successful day today having lost 3 items. All of them by not very much but I stuck to my upper limits today so the bank manager didn’t get annoyed. Actually it was because while the objects were nice and would have been good gifts they just weren’t that nice. There are other things that would mean more to me or to put it another way which I think will mean more to the recipient.

I kept pretty much up to date until 10.30 pm and only had a break to take my meds. Then I started the blog post hoping if it took less than an hour I could go back to the mail. It’s actually taken an hour and I’ve decided to leave the mail till the morning now.

I think it’s a pangolin or a banjo or guitar ???

Monday.

Well, that was a failure of sorts. I put my light out at 1.00 am as usual but despite lack of sleep I couldn’t drop off. I ended up going through to the lounge where I found a Queen Concert on TV. I turned off after about half an hour or so and nodded off in my chair. I didn’t wake until 4.57 am so every chance of three hours sleep. I didn’t bother with the kitchen when I first woke, I headed for a Loo Bloo view and then went and logged on the computer. I wanted to be as clear as possible this morning before they come to take me out. There was still a fair bit of last night’s to do so obviously that was my first target. I don’t know how but I managed to clear the last of those at 6.50 am so before starting again, I went to feed the fish. It was actually Pepper in sight when I first turned the light on but it wasn’t long before Little Al made an appearance. I put some food in and rewarded by a visit from Harold up and about early for a change. Little Bonzo zoomed in next on case none was left for him. Time had to be spent looking for Big Al. When I found where he was hiding I greeted him to show I’d seen him. He looked round with displeasure and moved away. I can see if the fish ever get religion it depends whether Big Al becomes High Priest or not as to whether I’m termed the devil.

I stayed in the kitchen for some breakfast this morning. Heavily buttered cold toast. It always reminds m of being on holiday in an hotel. When I finally returned to work I set too on today’s mail. At about 9.40 am I got a message to say they’d left so at 10.00 am I stopped work ready for the arrival. It seems the holiday traffic wasn’t playing ball with me, it was approaching 10.30 am when they arrived. I went out when they arrived and got into the newly warmed and vacated front seat ( passenger side for the sake of the nervous amongst you) and said my hellos. Reuben was effusive with his hiya bobs which is what his gruff, growly Pops sounds like. We set off. It took a little over half an hour to get there and there was a little excitement as none of us had been before and in fact I’d only told them about it a week or so ago. Greenacres, a petting zoo on 60 acres of farmland with a few fairground rides is what we expected.We couldn’t complain about the £7 for adults £6 for children (free if under 2 ) as we didn’t know what it entailed.We started up the path and toour left was a little pond with one solitary duck. Reuben threw a tantrum when we’d looked as he didn’t want to depart but we had no idea what was in store so in the end Ugo carried him as we talked to him suggesting we went to see the piggies. Before we reached the piggies however there was a cafe. Since the morning was cook due to both fog and mist we had a drink to warm us. Then it was into battle.

There were donkey rides which Reuben enjoyed and some Peacocks and peahens close by. But as we moved a little deeper wonders appeared ( sorry donkeys, I think you’re wonderful too) Skunks to stroke, snakes to touch, pigs to feed and if times right, baby lambs to feed by bottle. There were fantastic owls brought out to meet you, alpacas, capybaras, rabbits, guinea pigs, degus and their big bro’s the chinchilla.  shire horses, shetland ponies and so much more. At about 1.00 pm we decided on lunch. I wasn’t expecting too much but  to be honest I found it disappointing, very basic something and chips and I swear I could have redone my shoe with the burger and sold the bun as swimming floats. Why do people always do the bun dry? and I may be no salad lover but a bit of tomato and greenery would make a big difference. We could feed it to the giant rabbits for a start. Still, it was there, it was warm, we were peckish. Yet again I forgot my tablets so I’d need teas when I was home later. After the meal we headed for the junior fairground, the fog and mist had gone and the sun was glorious. Reuben had a great time on a ride called the caterpillar then we saw a road train coming i and Yvonne took him for a tour on that. He really enjoyed it. A roped off section that looked like an old Western Town held a model of a horse(?) and a very laid back rabbit that looked big enough to have played Harvey in the James Stewart film but more importantly there was face painting. Reuben reappeared as one of the Super Hero Ninja Turtles and looked very pleased with himself. There was still more to see like Rheas and water fowl and wallabies but Roobs was showing signs of being tired. There was one more thingbefore we left though, Ugo wanted to take him on the tractor ride as I’d bought him a tractor in the gift shop. I’m not sure who enjoyed it most but lots of photographs came back from Ugo. It was a good length ride too and just £1.00.

Roobs watched the SHNTurtles dvd in the car driving back to my place and it kept him quiet. When they dropped me off it was about 4.00 pm. Shoes and coat off, slippers on and tissues in my pocket just in case. Damn, tissues back out of my pocket and get a refill pack too. Lots and lots of messages. It took me till 8.00 pm to clear the first batch-less 30 minutes for a sandwich. I had to stop the second batch at 10.30 pm so I could write this and now I’m going back to it again. It’s been a Grand Day.

Reuben’s First Donkey Ride.

No way was he putting down the tractor I’d bought him. Ugo walked beside him to make sure he didn’t fall off.

Pops is Capricorn so he gets to feed the goat.

Excitement on the caterpillar

Tuesday.

The fresh air must have tired me yesterday, I had my light off by 12.30 am and don’t think I had any problem dropping off. I slept through until 4.24 am and didn’t feel bad at all. Since I wanted to put out an interview on the blog this morning, the time was pretty good too. Most of the UK and Europe would wake up to it and most of the US would see it when they woke on the right date, rather than when they went to bed on the date before. So, I paid my visit to the loo, came back and signed in. First things first, the release. That done I was able to get to my mail. I was really pleased to find there were only 6 messages I’d missed from last night. Those were cleared in double quick time and I was able to move onto today’s mail. There was a fair bit of it but not enough to worry me and by 6.45 am I was up to date though I hadn’t refreshed. It was time to Face the Fish which sounds like it should be a game show and often feels like it is only I never win any of the prizes on offer.

I turned the kitchen light on and a white flash told me one of the Al’s was near the front. I went over and turned on the tank light. Oddly enough it was Big Al at the front and as I lowered my head to the level if the tank, he turned round to face me. “Uh oh” I thought. but if it was possible those gimlet eyes of  his seemed to widen and he looked like a sad little puppy. For a moment I actually thought he was looking at me with affection but I woke up before the dream finished disastrously. But, there he was still looking at me. I always talk nicely to the fish which is why I can’t understand the animosity. After all, I haven’t dropped many things on his head, and that wouldn’t have happened had he been less of a nosy tyke. But no animosity this morning. Is this the start of the big thaw or will I be thawwy later. I opened the flap to drop some food in and like magic the others appeared. Whoever decided that fish have a 3 second memory forgot to tell the fish. Little Al made it first, closely followed by Pepper with Bonzo trailing behind. I was about to ask them where Harold was when blow me, he actually appeared  at a very regal speed, almost as though he’s stopping to wave at his public which in this tank would be the multitude of snails. With all five together and the food in I was able to leave them to enjoy breakfast in peace.

I slipped two pieces of bread in the toaster and turned it on before doing anything else. I wanted it to be nicely cold. Then I took my pre-food tablet, my sprays and followed up with the morning tablets in 3 lots before using what was left of the milk for my coffee. I lit a cigarette and wandered through to the lounge to flick through my TV mag in case anything of interest stuck out. All I could see was an Antique Detectives at 6.30 pm which I might try. My cigarette finished I went back through and buttered my cold toast, and ate it. I took my after food tabs with my coffee and retreated to the bedroom again to work. The interview was getting great responses which was good so I was able to respond to a few of those as well as try to keep up with the incoming mail which seemed to be flowing fiercely this morning.                                              As the schools are off I don’t have to worry about the Mother’s Mafia in Pauline’s so at 8.30 am I got dressed and went out. I needed some bread and some more micro chips but was disappointed to find she had none in curry sauce still. I also got my next TV mag and some cigarettes to keep me going now till Thursday with luck. Then I was home again by 9.00 am. I hadn’t long restarted work when a knock at the door left a stain on my chair. I just was not expecting it. There was Darren my postman with three packages for me. One was the leather jacket I won last week which I had to try on straight away to get over any disappointment early. It fitted . YAY! Another was a gift for John’s birthday later this month which I hope he’s going to like. The third isn’t important but I’m pleased to have got it nonetheless.

As the morning wore on to about 11.00 am I had a text from Charlie to see if she could drop in before returning back to South Wales. I didn’t hesitate Both she and her mother Lis are great friends, beautiful women and beautiful people too.  I had another text a little later to say she was in town picking up some shopping, could she get me anything. Normally I’d say no, but I wanted some specific cigarettes for Matt I hadn’t been able to get at Pauline’s. I don’t like asking non-smokers to buy ciggies but I caved in and when she came ten minutes later she’d managed to get them. I almost fainted when I found out the price though. I think I shrieked and Charlie’s head whipped round “What’s that”?  “Sorry it was my foot on the wooden floor” I replied hoping she wouldn’t notice I was standing on the mat. Tomorrow night I’ll be standing on the Matt ! Charlie stayed for an hour or so nattering and she told me how much she liked the gift for her 40th. Not for the whole hour obviously but I let her carry on for about 55 minutes. When she left and gave me a huge hug I knew I didn’t see enough of her.

It was time for lunch and I couldn’t be bothered with anything that took time so I bunged a box in the microwave. Once I’d eaten I needed to return to work. It was just as well I did as it was catch up time again. I don’t know what was wrong though because I wasn’t able to. At 6.00 pm when I needed a break I was still struggling. I’m afraid I was away till 7.30 pm so I’ve only myself to blame for a difficult evening. The phone has been driving me to distraction today too, and my mobile. They’re always unknown callers and some leave voice mails which I’ve learned not to open as it’s always for Improperly sold insurance, free boilers or something like that.

Getting on for 10.30 I started this blog with a big decision that when I finished I’d go to bed early. It didn’t take as long as expected , only 11.10 pm so I shall have to carry on a bit longer or suffer a guilty conscience.

Wednesday.

I called a halt at 11.55 pm last night and was in bed reading by midnight. I only made i until 12.45 am before he book had to go down and light went out though. It must have been a bit of a restless night though as I was up again for a while at 2.10 am. It wasn’t bad enough to abandon bed for my chair and I did get back to sleep again. It was 4.29 am when the internal alarm woke me with indications that if I didn’t get a move on I’d be swimming my way out of bed. I turned the computer on as I passed by so it was ready for sign in as I got back. The post was quite heavy but hardly a problem as I’m in all day, except for my games night tonight which I’m looking forward to.

One of the posts I saw was from my great friend AC Flory, or Meeks who has a warning for a new scam which I admit looks quite real at first glance. It may be you’ll want to go and take a look at this.  https://acflory.wordpress.com/2015/04/08/phishing-scam-apple-itunes/                                                                                                                                           Not much later was a message from Createspace that they had held money from Amazon as my bank details aren’t correct. I went into Createspace not using the link but couldn’t find an outstanding amount bar money for the current month where the figures don’t tally. I also checked my bank details though this seemed silly as I get payments from Amazon anyway. I’m still trying to work out if this one is a scam or not though I don’t think so. I’m still not chancing their links though. I worked till 7.00 am and then went to feed the fish. I turned the tank light on and today it was Pepper and Little Al to have the starring role as they chased each other round in circles. I wasn’t sure whether they were enjoying themselves or doing it for my benefit. Either way it was entertaining. I dropped some food in and the roundabout gradually slowed down. Not quickly enough to stop Bonzo nipping in for the first course though. Those two started grazing and slowly Big Al made his way over. I caught a movement on my left and was surprised to see the fifth member of thegang drift over from that direction. Most strange, out of bed and out and about at this time. Before anyone tried an ‘Oliver’ and started calling for more I left them to it.

I decided on breakfast again today in case I didn’t get chance this evening. I took my pre-foodie and stuck some bread in the toaster. After taking my sprays, the milk came out to fill my mug which I then used to take my tablets, saving enough for my coffee of course. I went and had a cigarette to pass the waiting time and once finished , buttered and ate my now cold toast. Two more tabs and finished. I washed the pots and returned to my room.Since it was almost 8.00 am I got dressed before returning to the computer, after all I didn’t want to off end any of my female friends with my state of undress. I even combed my hair, then made an effort and combed a second one too. The post was incoming all  morning and kept me going slow and steady. I stopped at 11.30 am to prepare lunch then watched an episode of Murder She Wrote while I ate. I found I really wanted to close my eyes for a while afterwards but was scared of letting a backlog build up. I washed the pots and returned to my room. I must have done no more than half a dozen messages before I found myself nodding off over a hot keyboard. There didn’t seem to be an option so at 1.30 pm I let myself sleep. At 2.15 pm I was back in the game. I’m not sure which game, and it was possibly not the one everyone else was playing but I was there. By 5.00 pm I hadn’t hard from Lee so it seemed likely he was coming. I knocked off and made myself a drink. As I was doing it Lee arrived. We only had a few minutes to chat and say this is possibly his last forseeable games night as Jen could have the baby at any time now. I gave him the Easter eggs he hadn’t been here to take last week. At 5.12 pm Dil and Matt arrived. I sorted drinks while Matt found and opened the super slim cigarettes he’d asked me about and Charlie had got for me on Tuesday.

Once the usual TV quiz show was over we got to it. Lee wanted to be back home early understandably so we elected to go for Yahtzee first. It went ( along with a lot of shouting and cursing) First game to Matt, Second to Lee, Third to Me.Fourth to Dil then Lee left to go home. We finished off with one more game to Matt and one to Dil which left them as honours even and me languishing behind.  Matt asked to play the updated Balderdash next because it breaks down into categories and he likes some of them.The board is about 48 squares and can take some time to play. I fairly romped up the board to the halfway point leaving Matt on the first board and Dil on about the sixteenth. A few more goes and Matt had doubled to square 2, Dil as about 36 and I was on 47. And that’s where I stayed. I could not convince either of them with a lie and either they chose the correct answer on my go or on Dil’s go, no-one got it right giving him 4 points. When he won I was still there waiting. I felt I’d been savaged by a big dog. As time a now galloped on Dil suggested a few hands of Crazy 8’s. I should have known this wasn’t my lucky night. We only managed 3 hands and Matt was already past the 300 mark. I was on about 120 and Dil moaning because his score was 25 but would only have been 24 if he hadn’t taken pity on his son and played a 3 instead of a 2 on him. One very pleased person and one quite dejected one left for home leaving this defeated one to tidy up and wash the pots.

I went back through to my room and suffered a very sharp intake of breath when I saw the mail. I dared only work on it till 10.30 pm before doing this post but I still have a fair way to go. Some may have to be left for the morning but it’s a MuJo day tomorrow so I can’t leave too much for myself then either. Something has to go, either my work life or my social life.

Thursday.

For all my moaning, in a sudden burst of activity last night I managed to make a huge dent in the post before knocking off at 12.15 am. I still had time for a read too so I can’t even sound too deprived this morning. Damn ! There goes the sympathy vote. I was up and on my way to widdletown at  3.38 am. A whole four minutes passed  before I was able to return and power up the computer. The mail didn’t look to bad at all though I knew it would obviously build up more as I worked. Last night’s stuff was finished by 5.35 though so I was quite pleased. I carried on working until 6.00 am when I decided that I’d have breakfast today so might as well feed the Famous Five while I was there. The occasional early morning wake up call doesn’t hurt and keep them on their toes flippers. On my way to the kitchen I had a bet with myself about who’d have the starring role at the front of the tank today. The only one I could rule out was Harold so I had a 25% chance of getting it right. I settled on Little Al. It’s as well I didn’t bet serious money as I was wrong and would have had to welch on the bet anyway. It was Pepper. By the time I’d finished putting the food in, talking to Pepper, being distracted by the birdsong outside, they’d all appeared, even Harold. There was a bit of tapping impatiently on the glass as if to say, “OK, that’ll do, Close that hatch and go away, let us eat in peace.” I went away and took my morning meds and had some breakfast, a very small packet of cornflakes and a round of toast. If I forget my tablets at lunchtime at least I can take them at teatime and know I’ve had both lots. I put a load of washing in the machine, made myself a coffee and came back to my room.

I was just slogging away at the posts trying to get the levels down when I heard the wash cycle end. As I finished the message I was one I had chance to nip though and set the drier going. That would be ready for folding about 10.00 pm. About 8.45 am I took a walk to Pauline’s in my dark brown jeans with my new leather jacket that was such a bargain on ebay. I haven’t really worn a bomber jacket before. I quite liked it. After getting my new lottery tickets and having found some micro chips with curry sauce I came back home. I sent Mujo a text to remind them to bring leather food for my hat which will go well with the jacket once it’s been fed, I just hope it’s more polite than Big Al. At 10.00 am I was standing by the drier as it finished so I took things out, folder them and hung them over a set of bars attached to the radiator so they could air properly. I managed another half hour’s work before MuJo arrived. It was like a Summer’s day outside, sunny and quite warm so I did cold drinks and we sat down to chat for a while. At about 11.15 am we left to go to town so Muriel cold go to the Post Office before lunch and John could take another watch to have the battery changed. I put  note on the front door for deliveries to go to Bert’s.I was expecting one of John’s birthday gifts to be delivered today.

In town we were lucky with a parking space and took a slow walk to the Post Office and the shops. John wanted the charity shops while Mu conducted her business so I lit a cigarette and walked with him. When we all congregated together again we walked down the market with John’s watch. It was a waste of energy as the stall wasn’t there this week, so we just went to lunch. Whether it was the heat or not, I wasn’t able to finish my lunch. Neither was John but you could tell he wasn’t very well. The likely culprit was angina and as we stepped outside afterwards so it proved to be. He refused to let it stop us carrying on though, so piling in the car with the windows open, we headed for Flint. Muriel needed Aldi so I took the opportunity to pick up some chocolates for the girls in Temptations. John stayed in the car. When we left there we went straight to Temptations for a drink. Ceri was busy so I missed my chance of a hug today. I confused matters by having a cold drink for a change but John confused matters back by having a coffee.  It was cooler in there but I was glad I’d left my jacket in the car. When we finished, we took a slow walk round the usual shops so John could get some cough sweets ( and me) and a few other little odds and sods.I did actually only spend in the one shop, my favourite Homies (Home Bargains) while John bought some bedding from his favourite shop. We ate an iced lolly then got back in the car and came home.

At home John had a drink and took some of his tablets. It was just gone 4.00 pm. They didn’t stay much longer before setting off on the journey home. When I’d waved them off I came back into the bedroom and checked my messages. I almost fainted. Luckily there was a knock at the door (so I can’t say saved by the bell) and Bert was there with two parcels. I was only expecting one so was surprised. I opened the one I wasn’t expecting first and found two gifts I’d had made for my nieces respective birthdays. I didn’t know they’d been despatched. When I opened the other, I was really upset to see it was broken. Not beyond repair but I don’t really want to do that. I got in touch with the seller and he said he’s send me a label for return but didn’t tell me if there was another one in stock to send me. Or, he offered a partial refund which I assume means I keep the item and do the repairs. I’ve emailed back again to see whether he does have another one in before making the decision. Then I got stuck into my messages. I was tired and probably a bit cranky too after being up since 3.30 am   with no catnap but was trying to stay awake. I also wanted to see my Big Bang Theory at 8.30 pm. I stayed here over a smoking hot keyboard until that time, sat in from the of the TV and nodded off. I was lucky only to miss about 5   minutes but the context was gone so I’ll have to look for a repeat. I had a sandwich and came back through. It’s now 11.50 pm and I need to clear a few more messages before bed o excuse me please.

Friday.

When I woke this morning I saw angels dancing on the head of a pin.  I  would have had some sympathy If I hadn’t needed to go so much and been forced to jump the queue. Heck , if they’d got to the loo before me I could have had an accident. It was 4.06 am and there was no doubt at all why I’d woken at that time today. My bladder spake. and it was brooking no argument. Nor was it waiting in turn behind a queue of desperate angels. At least I apologised when I came out, the waves off relief emanating from me.  At that point I was suddenly feeling goodwill to all. There was a song running round my head from 1970, ‘Good Morning Freedom’ by Blue Mink, but I stopped at that point as I wasn’t packing my bags and going away. Still, I could go with, ‘It’s a better day, It’s a better day, It’s a better day , hey, hey’ and I dare say the fish felt a bit better knowing that too. By the time I reached the part about ‘A bee bom bom  baba bababom’ I was really quite happy and ready to take on anything so I returned to my room and logged on.

I tried to keep the sobbing to a minimum when I saw how much mail was left from last night as well as this morning’s offerings. It was difficult but I managed to choke most of them. I made a start. By 6.15 am  I’d got a fair way down the list but needed to break off to feed the fish and to see to my drugs. Though the kitchen was fairly light I still needed to turn the tank on and when I did so found Harold waiting for me. I wonder if they’ve decided to take it in turns. I chatted to him as I tipped his food in and suddenly both the Al’s arrived from opposite directions and took up positions like bodyguards, bodyguards who ate mind  you. Pepper and Bonzo weren’t far behind as neither was prepared to take a chance on missing a meal. With five faces down to the floor and tails in the air I left them to it. I had my sprays then took my Friday dtugs leaving the container empty, well, apart from those I’d forgotten to take again last night. I got my drug drawer from the lounge and started to refill the boxes for the next week. Once that was done the drawer went away and I was able to make a drink. I went back through.

Accidentally I refreshed the mail box and brought on a new pile of mail and the tears appropriate to them. Drying my eyes I forged ahead. At 9.00 am I checked with ebay and found my trader had come back with a response. He’s kindly offered to send a Hermes label and suggested the parcel is taken to a local drop off point. Once he receives confirmation, he’ll send out a new stick. It sounds good except I’ve no idea whether there is a Hermes drop off point locally and if so where it is. I’d also have problems carrying such a big parcel when I’m using my sticks. Therefore I’ve suggested I accept the partial refund and attempt the repairs myself. I  can use the refund to get another extra little gift for John. Again I’ll await a response. Actually, there are some Toby Jugs on ebay I’m looking at for today that would be ideal if they don’t go for too much. By 10.15 am I was up to date on the first email address though I’d been careful not to refresh again yet. I opened the second one. I was amazed to find when I got rid of duplicates I was left with three to do which were out of the way fairly quickly. I went through to the lounge for a break and within minutes was asleep. It only lasted until 11.25 am when I was awoken by a hammering on the door. My postie was delivering another parcel, I think he must have seen me asleep in my chair. There was no point in going back through  to the computer now as lunchtime was so close.

After a lunchtime session of Jessica Fletcher I realised I had to face the music and went back to rouse my computer from it’s rest. As soon as I opened I knew it had been revenged upon me. There was a message to say a very arbitrary sum had been refunded but in fairness I still had the stick to repair, but I’d forgotten about te Toby Jugs and missed them completely and they’d gone for virtually nothing. I did have another idea which when I checked was still viable so I bought that. Being anxious to see whether the stick would mend and not be too bed I went to find my superglue.  With a little effort it seems to have worked without showing too badly but I did have to unstick my thumb and a finger later. Back to work with my tips unglued but still solid I find it puts great pressure on the keys. Maybe I should do them all. I emailed my niece with some news then concentrated on work until 5.00 pm when I knocked off for tea. It might sound like a long tea but I’m a slow eater and stayed knocked off until 6.30 pm when a Big Bang Theory that just happened to be on was over. When I finally returned to work it didn’t take long to catch up. I refreshed the screens and was astounded to find I was able to keep pace, in fact I even took a few minutes to take my rubbish to the bins tonight instead of the morning in case I get a lie in.  Ha Ha.

I managed to keep fairly up to date during the evening and stopped to do the blog just after 10.30 pm. It’s now 11.40 pm and I’m knocking off till the morning. Hopefully I won’t be out as long tomorrow so the backlog may be manageable.

Here’s a real blast from the past from 1964 for all you oldies.

Saturday.

Whilst accepting that I was tired and turned my light out at 12.30 am  last night. I still feel it’s a little mean to have me up again at 2.13 am. Even worse, my stick is feeling very put out at the thought of no action ( I feel I should point out at this juncture, we are talking walking stick here. Anyone with alternate thoughts , go write your own book) not a burglar in sight.The damned thing starts twitching in my hand whenever I head in the direction of the lounge, and the loo is in that direction though my bladder wasn’t screaming this morning. I did pay a visit just to be on the safe side. I also took some delight in confusing the fish by turning on the kitchen light long enough to fill two small, empty Pepsi bottles from a big one. I think they were just beginning to stir when the light went out again.

I started on my mail and judging by the amount I’d guess you lot don’r get out much. Whatever happened to Friday night at the pictures, with a fish supper on the way home? It took until almost 5.15 am before I cleared the remainder of last night’s then I started straight in on today’s.  Of course some of you try to confuse me by living in outlandish places where it’s still Friday when I’m, on a Saturday so my mail say’s I’m still working on Friday’s stuff even though my ISP says it was received on a Saturday. New rules peeps, no writing after 6.00 pm from now on please. For Australians, please label all your work as the day before you actually post it if it’s done after midday then hopefully it looks like it’s getting to me on the day I actually think it is. All clear now? Good. At 6.30 am I broke off to go and feed the monsters and while I was there I included myself in that, only not fish food. Bonzo was all alone at the front of the tank but Pepper came over the moment the food flap was lifted. I shovelled food in then waited to see who’d appear next. It was Little Al. I saw Big Al move at the back of the tank and start to feed on bits that were drifting over on the current (no jokes about raisin my hopes of seeing him in a good mood please). All of a sudden Harold appeared but I was surprised as he came from above, from behind the water pump and not from his barrel as I expected.  I wonder if that’s why I’ve missed seeing him a few times recently.He’s getting as good at hiding as my budgie Josephus II (Joey)  used to and he was a bloody champion.

I left them to it and went to place some bread in the toaster, take my pre-food tablet and have my sprays. I got some milk out to take the other tablets saving some of the milk for my coffee. Time for a cigarette so I sat in the lounge for a few minutes and drooled over a picture of Katharine Hepburn in  my TV mag. She was in a film this afternoon. Cigarette duly smoked I went into the kitchen again and buttered the now cold toast. I did enjoy it. I took the two after food tabs, made myself a coffee and returned to work.As it was now almost 7.30 am I got dressed first as I didn’t want to get carried away and be rushing at the last minute. When I finally did sit down again and bring my screen to life I was greeted with a worrying message.

Hi David Prosser,I have just had flashes about you.Follow this link and and pull 3 tarot cards. If what I have “seen” is confirmed, I can tell you that I have some startling revelations to make to you.Have no fear, I do it completely free and you will understand very quicklywhy here.

Your contact information are not been communicated to the announcers.Best Wishes Shopping is recorded at the Informatic and Freedom National Commission under the number of 1821998.To unsubscribe, click on this link If this message disturb you, declare it as undesirable

It’s so worrying I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to get a reputation as a flasher, I mean what would the neighbours think? Much as I hate to do so with anything that’s to do with shopping, I declared it undesirable. At least it’s not the usual fare from the usual fortune teller. I was delighted to hear she does it for free though since only ladies of ill repute charge don’t they. I stopped work at just gone 9.00 am as I had no idea what time Ugo would arrive. I put all the bins out for collection. My bags and my shopping list were ready, all I needed to do was slip my coat on. I saw the car arrive at 9.30 am and heard a little honk on the horn. I was out within a minute or so. Since I know he hates shopping I offered to stay local but he wouldn’t hear of it. Reuben was in the back in his seat watching a Thomas the Tank Engine DVD but I did get a big grin and he held my finger for an age when I put my arm  back between the seats to squeeze his knee. About 20 minutes later we drew up outside a big Morrison’s supermarket I haven’t been to in ages. I had my first crisis when there was no money in the cash machine. Fancy not saving me some. I grabbed a trolley and went back to the car where Ugo had just got Reuben out. He plonked him in the trolley and our expedition started.

My next crisis was to find that I no longer knew where anything was. All the shelves had changed due to a clothes section being added. It was like shopping by good luck alone as I couldn’t follow my list. Still I did manage to get everything I wanted, plus a big yellow truck for Reuben. Trouble was he didn’t seem to understand that I needed to pay for it so after Ugo gave it to him we had to ask for it back. The siren started. I think it was a major disaster as the siren kept going and going while we were in the queue. I made sure when it was my turn that the truck went through first so Ugo could return it. We went for a drink and in Ugo’s case an afternoon tea with giant scone and cream. He took the truck out of it’s box and handed it to Reuben who then played with the box for a few minutes leaving me with the truck at the till.  When w were sat at the table Reuben started playing with the truck on the floor. He was so engrossed I managed a bacon bap with no help. Once we’d finished, I went to buy my cigarettes and asked about some ultra slim ones- not More. They came up with some where I couldn’t believe they had 20 in the packet and they were only the ordinary length. They were £9.20, just 20p less than the super length More brand. Matt will have to go back to his normal style 10 a week I think. Sorry Matt. We went outside where I had a cigarette while Ugo loaded  Reuben and the shopping into the car then set off home. I asked if he’s stop off on the way at a cash machine since I’d had to use my card in the store. He agreed and we stopped at a cash machine in Flint which still had some in.

At home is was getting on for 12.30 pm and Ugo helped me unload, waited for me to supply the siren with some chocolate lollies then departed with a hug to collect Yvonne from work. I waved them off then started unpacking the bags and putting the food away. First job when that was done was to arrange Ju’s flowers in a vase. I think I made a reasonable job of it, be fair, Ju didn’t complain.

Once that was done I made myself some lunch, had the tablets and came back through to work. I was determined to take a break at 2.15 pm to watch the Katie Hepburn film so didn’t need any encouragement to work. Lucky for me that though there was a  lot of post in the 4 hours I was out, none of it was problematical. I actually zipped through a fair bit of it before it was time to go. I had to keep slapping myself around the face to make sure I stayed awake but the bruises are so worth it. It’s just as well Ju had a crush on Tom Selleck  and Sam Elliott so she was very forgiving when my tongue used to hang out if the fantastic Ms Hepburn came on screen. Anyone else and the tongue might have ended up a lot shorter. Once it was over I told myself that 40 winks wasn’t a good idea but promised myself I’d see what could be done later. I just didn’t say how much later to avoid disappointments.

Like a certain brand of batteries I just kept going and going.  The yawns were nearly wide enough to take the keyboard but I remembered I’d already eaten.  At 6.00 pm I stretched my legs by going to turn of the light in the tank and say goodnight to the fish. There were some chocolate jaffa cake rolls near the microwave so I ate two in case they melted. Microwave = heat, see how logical I can be even when I’m tired. Then it was back to work again. As usual I knocked off at 10.30 to see to the blog and  iot’s 11.40 pm now. I think I’ll have to just pop back and try to finish a few more before calling it a night. Which it is, a night I mean. So I couldn’t call it much else.

I wish you all a Great New Week full of joy and Hugs.

 

 

 

 

The Houdini Files & Tempted in Temptations.

Sunday 29th March 2015.

There were a few wake-ups last night but I wasn’t ready. Finally it was 5.08 when I got up so I’d had the benefit of four hours sleep.  I wonder if Somnos is on holiday again or i this really is a show of his generosity. After my trip to the loo I came back and prepared to work. In a later message this morning a friend mentioned Mailnos, god of emails and suggested I entreat him to lighten my load of conmail. I’ve been bragging recently that it’s slackened off somewhat and others must be getting it. Waiting for me this morning was a treat.

From The Desk of the Information Officer,
Compensation Payment Department,
United Nations Headquarters.
New York, USA.

Dear Beneficiary,
                                     NOTICE OF YOUR PAYMENT

I write to notify you of the payment of your compensation fund to this office as 
one those that has been Scammed through African countries mainly from Nigeria. 
You only have to re-verify your data such as your full name, your address, your 
phone number and your occupation so it can be used to authenticate you as the 
legal owner of this fund. Immediately this is done successfully, you will be 
given every details of your compensation fund and the amount accrue to you.

However, you are to contact the Supervising Agent in charge of this payment; his 
name is Mr. Smith Brad. He has been given the full mandate to get your fund paid 
to you, so kindly send the required information through his email address at ( 
smith_brad2@aol.com ) for immediate processing of your compensation sum.

Your immediate response to this email will be fully appreciated.

Yours Faithfully,
For: UNITED NATIONS

Mrs. Joyce Savage

It's strange that I'm supposed to have reported this crime and yet they don't know my name. I gave it a great deal of attention on it's way to the bin. I worked through till 7.00 am before going through to see to the fish. As it was yesterday and the day before I received instant attention from four of the five and I'll leave you to guess which on couldn't be bothered making an appearance. After not having seen him at all yesterday it was more worrying today but two tings became plain. The little so and so is a magician. A very careful study of the tank provided no proof of either a corpse nor a live fish and yet when we did the tank I had all the hiding places turned towards me so I could see at a glance if they were occupied.. I'm thinking of changing his name from Harold Hoplo to Harry Houdini if he ever shows up again.

I left them eating and went to take my morning meds. It was a little like trying to swallow a mouthful of sawdust each time I thought about him. When I’d finished I made myself a coffee and just sat in the lounge to drink it. Eventually I decided to go back to work and took my mug through to the kitchen. Mr Houdini was out looking for breakfast. I hoped he really was magic because the others had done a pretty good clean up job. There was a fair bit of mail as is usual on a Sunday so I just took them in my stride, dealing with them slowly in their turn. The morning passed quite quickly until I realised it was time to think of lunch. I took my pre-foodie, turned the TV to an Al Pacino film I thought sounded interesting about the American War of independence and put my meal in the micro.There was a choice between braised beef or a new one Ham hock in parsley sauce with mash. It sounded OK. The first problem when I got it out of the packet was in much smaller writing it said cheesy mash (abomination). Oh well, no doubt the parsley sauce would mask it. I can’t remember struggling so much with a meal in a long time. Not pleasant eating at all though the veg an the parsley sauce were OK. I struggled and won.

When the film started there were some very good names there and quite a few British actors I knew. Before long I had to turn it off. If you’re going to have an Irish accent, why not have it delivered by an Irishman. There are plenty of great Irish actors around, Liam Neeson, Gabriele Byrne. The only acting I saw was from Lady Olivier or Dame Joan Plowright as she is in her own right. Uppercrust British, she can do the job blindfolded. The film was a torment. On top of that lunch it was nauseating. I came back to work. The afternoon was just a steady progression from one post to the next between the two addresses, nothing strenuous, nothing odd and nothing else remotely crooked. At 6.00 pm I broke off to have some tea and noticed a film at 9.00 pm that looked appealing. It’s rare for me to spend time with a full film, indeed it’s rare to be able to prise me away from the computer for that long but I’ve booked myself a seat mail permitting. So straight after tea back I came, and on I went.I knocked off again at 8.55 pm and took my seat in the auditorium ready for the curtains to open. I’m not going to show my age by mentioning an organ that came up from the depths and played us in.

The film was called Hansel and Gretel. OK, I wasn’t expecting a fairy story at this time of night but it sort of started off like that with the kids being abandoned in the forest. I’m no prude but I was jarred a bit at the ‘F’ word as it seemed inappropriate given the times and the costumes. Having said that, I wonder if this is the steampunk. I hear about after seeing the weaponry. There was no holding back on the violence or the gore though one scene brightened when a woman walked into a pool naked as a jay bird, naturally I didn’t look. Well. not after the first couple of times anyway. In the end maybe I should have shown a bit more patience as I turned off at 10.00 pm. It just didn’t grip me, hold my interest, make me smile or laugh.Frankly I was bored. It gave me chance to come and catch up further on my mail.

Tomorrow is an anniversary for me and I may need to take the day off. There’s no point really in my telling you this a week late but if anyone was affected and found me rude, perhaps you’ll understand now.

Monday.

In memory of my beautiful wife who left this life 2 years ago today I decided to take a day off. I did still want to leave you with some music though. So……..

Tuesday.

I got to bed by 11.15 pm last night.I’d done nothing but was exhausted anyway. So, I read until 12.10 am and at the end of a chapter turned the light out. I should really have been reading a ‘Hornblower’  book as the storm was raging and a gale was blowing outside. I’m not sure how long it took me to get to sleep but when I awoke ‘hours’ later it was 12.50 am. No way did I intend to get up but my bladder said I should so I nipped to the loo and back and tried again. Still nothing doing so I sat on the edge of the bed enjoying a cigarette and rubbing cream into my ankle to try and make it feel less like rhino skin. Once again I tried but still no joy.  Eventually at 2.00 am I put my dressing gown on and went to sit in my chair in the lounge. I didn’t turn the light on as there’s a street lamp not too far from the window that just allows enough diffused light in to make things out without seeing them clearly. Not enough to disturb me should I nod off. And in Ju’s company nod off I did. It must have been for about ten minutes until the click of the timer turned a lamp on to discourage burglars. I tried again and managed to fall asleep once more. At some point I woke up and went back to bed where I found myself when I awoke for the last time at 5.28 am. The rain was still coming down and the wind still howling.

There was a small temptation to stay where I was and enjoy another day of freedom but I persuaded myself not to be lazy and got up to turn the computer on. While it powered up I went to the tinkle factory. I won’t be winning awards anytime soon unless it’s for the person who takes the longest. By the time I got back they’d just announced Windows 23. I signed in and started on the mail. I was doing really well with it before I came across a friend’s latest post where it seems some parts of her beliefs were very relevant to my Buthidars site. I started pinching bits to share in a new post. There seemed to be plenty of things to comment on today as well. at 7.15 am knowing I was late I went through to the kitchen. The morning was so grim and dull I had to turn the main light on as well as the tank lights. At the first sign of movement Big Al was there casting dirty looks in my direction. I know he disapproved of my tardiness and I’m sure he may have been a Victorian schoolmaster in a previous life and still wishes he had a cane. Anyhoo, Pepper came up to join him in the queue for food and was gently barging him in what seemed like play. As I opened he feeding flap I saw Bonzo arrive, little Al heading my direction and Harold was speeding in from the other side. As he came, a complete stem of weed floated up from where he’d just been and joined 2 others at the top of the tank. At least I now know  who’s responsible for all the uprooting I’m seeing. I’m going to get a wet and cold arm replacing the plants for him to do it again. I fed them, listened to the faint cheers (sarcastic and derisory) and left to take my meds.

After the meds were taken I had a cigarette to time things and then had some breakfast. A little grapefruit and some cold toast slathered in butter. I washed the pots, made a coffee and took it back to my room. Something started buzzing in the back of my mind to do with grapefruit. I carried on working in the hopes it would come to me naturally. It did. Something to do with my drugs. I had to check and found two of my tabs have grapefruit as contra-indications, stay away from grapefruit as one put it. Just an Oops warning I think, I wasn’t about to explode and neither were my bowels which was something that worried me. I was safe. I had no need to go out today and indeed the new warden may call, so I was able to carry on working most of the morning. I knocked off at about 11.00 am and returned to my chair in the lounge. The gale outside was playing games with a wheelie bin so the constant banging of the lid on the base made sure I couldn’t sleep but at least I lay here relaxed until 11.45 am when I went through to see about lunch. pre-foodie tab, butter some bread, work hard at perforating the plastic lid then bung my masterpiece in the micro to cook. Cottage pie today. I ate my meal while watching Bargain Hunt today and then washed up for the second time today.

Back to work and a bit of catch up to be done since I’d been away two hours.  There’s nothing specific I think on TV today so I can stay where I am until this pressure sore bursts out. Sometime I’ll have to find a suitable song for tonight. Maybe I’ll have youtube on while I’m working soon and look or inspiration.  I was concentrating on a comment someone had made on my blog this afternoon when I could hear this faint sound in the background. Musical but in a bing-bong kind of way I looked up and saw a message on screen saying my Brother in Law (half of Mujo) was ringing me on Skype. Neither of us have been able to get the other for a long time but this morning I’d had an incoming call from someone I didn’t know and while I was in blocking it I’d done a search and found John was on 3 times. I got rid of the one I had and chose the last one. That seems to have done the trick. Yesterday I’d had a text letting me know they were both ill, and to hear him cough there was no doubting it. They hope to be well enough to be through on Thursday but if not then next week. Usually I’m invisible on Skype and John is the only person I’ve spoken to on it in years. Well, about 3 years anyway. I least I don’t stutter talking to him. We were chatting about antiques but I couldn’t say much as his birthday is approaching and he almost is one. Once the call was over I reinstated my cloak of invisibility and worked on until 5.15 pm when I went to have a look at Pointless and what should have been two episodes of Big Bang Theory but was only one and a bit Zzzzzzz. I came back through after the music at the end credits woke me up and started again. I have something finishing on bay at 11.36 pm so I thought I might as well be here till then and lessen the load for the morning. I won the ebay lot so time was getting on by the time I paid for it. Bed at midnight.

Wednesday.

Moan, moan, groan. What a night again. To bed at midnight. Light off at 12.45 am(ish) an up again at 1.50 am.A trip to the loo in case my bladder’s squawking woke me but no, it hadn’t. A cigarette to relax and back into bed. Sleep comes eventually but awake again at 3.20 am. I went to sit in my chair in the lounge to see if I’d be more comfortable and woke at 4.51 am. It was time to get up as there was no more sleep in me. I wandered back through to the  bedroom and fired up the computer.                          No big win on the Eurolottery despite convincing myself that it was my turn this week. I blame the small gods and their sense of direction for this since it was someone in the UK who won £53m  Good luck to them.

I turned to my emails. Not too many left from last night but they took a little time to deal with . I was on today’s messages a little after 6.00 am and working my way through them steadily. There were three people who liked my last blog who I don’t know so I had to check their blogs and posts out. I felt really sorry for one person who is a committed Christian and gay since his Church have tried to exclude him and his family, the ones you rely on for love and support have also excluded him. How he kept his faith I’ll never know. From my own point of view, Why he kept his faith I’ll never know since it seems that acceptance of his sexual orientation or preferences is much more likely to happen in the world of those who don’t believe in god but do believe in the tolerance of others. There was also an email from the amazing Chris, The Story Reading Ape with a series of Did You Know facts that was really entertaining. I have to say that some of my friends, colleagues, acquaintances and Who did you say? Are some of the most amazing, selfless people in the world. Chris, Sally,Olga,Kim, Jo,Ailsa, Colleen,Viv, Suzanne, Rosie and many others, spend so much time supporting authors in one way or another with interview, guest posts or just cover reveals as well as dealing with their own books , blogs and promotions. Thank you kind people on behalf of us all. If there’s anyone whose name I didn’t include, it isn’t because I don’t love you or haven’t noticed what you do, it’s just that I could fill a blog with thanks if I didn’t draw the line at some point.

At 7.00 am I went through to the kitchen and turned on the tank light. I saw Harold before he had chance to disappear so was happy about that. On April 1st you don’t want to be fooled again.I fed them some of their older treats this morning but Big Al turned his back and went off to a corner. Pepper had a good chomp before he went too. Little Al and his midget pal Bonzo carried on grazing. Those two also seem to react a bit to my voice, coming closer when I speak but maybe I speak about the wrong things as they soon beggar off again. I took a pre -foodie tab and put some bread in the toaster which I could allow to go cold. Then I took my sprays and the rest of the morning meds before smoking a ‘Timer’ ( a cigarette is about the right length of time to wait between pre-foodie tab and actually eating, not that I need an excuse to smoke). Slathering butter on my toast and eating it was wonderful. I like my slightly salted butter too which gives it all more flavour.                                                                                                 The wind/gale seems to have dropped this morning and it looks dry outside so I dressed just before 9.00 am and took a birthday card to be posted before calling in at Pauline’s for my TV magazine and some fresh bread plus a birthday card for one coming up this month. Back at home I unpacked then started back on the mail. It kept me going through the morning until 11.30 am when I broke off ready to get lunch.

I ate while watching Murder She Wrote. Screaming “Look out behind you” with a mouthful of corned beef hash is not a great idea. Anyway she never listens. I really wanted to nod off afterwards but didn’t as I needed to be as clear as possible before games night. I came back to my room and caught up with my main address ( without refreshing) then signed into my gmail address to find 163. Ouch. I was answering some mail from a friend who gave me a probably well deserved telling off after a remark about the play being improved if I walked off the stage. I did say it was just my opinion but she sent a virtual Australian clout in my direction. I’m chastened. It stung.I read a post that took me in about fox cubs being trained as guide dogs and fell for it hook line and sinker. I only hoped as it was after noon, the ‘Fool’ bit wouldn’t count though I did feel a right prat. I’d have felt the left one too if it had been there. Thanks Sally, I owe you !!!! I just took it easy all afternoon until 5.00 pm when I knocked off to answer the door to the chemist’s delivery man. His timing was perfect as I’d just noticed one of my sprays in the red zone. I really felt sorry for him too as he’d been caught in yet another very heavy shower. As he left there was a text from Lee to say he couldn’t make it tonight which was a real shame. I’d just sat down in the lounge after answering and I saw Dil and Matt coming along the path. It was just 5.10 pm , they’re getting earlier every week trying to catch me kipping so they can complain I’m not in the kitchen doing their drinks. They were actually able to see the quiz they like all the way through.

At 6.00 pm as the TV went off  Dil unfolded the games table and I brought over some games. We ended up playing Yahtzee first. I think least said, soonest mended as far as that goes. I was humiliated enough then without repeating it now. Then we had two games of Balderdash. My skills were to the fore in the first game and I romped home. In the second game I started well and had a decent lead so I was lulled into a false sense of security. All of a sudden Dil was past me and home. He couldn’t get one wrong. I think even Matt ended up ahead of me. Finally we had time for a game of Crazy 8’s, I don’t know why I bothered. They were on form and had me for a 14 card pick-up twice. In the last hand alone I was caught with 140 points which took me way over. It’ll b days before I can hold my head up and that’s when I’ve forgotten I lost and start thinking I had a good night. After they left at 9.30pm in the pouring rain, and I locked the front door, I tidied up and washed the pots then took my meds before coming through. It was almost 10.00 pm and you’d all been far too busy. I’m sure you increase pace when you know I’m out of the way. Anyway there’s a lot so I’ve started the blog at 10.30 pm and it’s almost 11.30 pm now so I can probably manage another half hour with the mail.

     Classic Motown from 1971.

Thursday.

Things went to pot last night but I’m sort of glad. I did my usual of recent times and worked till just midnight to allow myself time for a read. Lights off at 1.00 pm or Matron comes round and tells me off ( I wish). Sleep didn’t come easy because my damned ankle was itching like mad so I had to get up and apply some cream. Eventually it cooled enough for me to nod off but I woke again just after 2.00 am then again at almost 3.30 am. I almost gave up but being perverse I decided to try in the front room. For a change I thought I’d try the chair I normally sit in to play cards which is Mike’s chair when he’s here.( No Mike. I’m not paying rent since when you’re here I don’t touch it). This clever move on my part ( pre-planned of course) must have bamboozled the small gods- especially Porcinus bless him, it doesn’t take much- since I woke up in place at 7.34 am. That’s almost like a normal night’s sleep for most people. I can’t remember such a late start. Unfortunately Big Al can and he was most definitely dischuffed with me this morning. The evil eye was in play and followed me round the room even when I didn’t move. I was so nervous I just dropped half a tub of food in and ran. Then I came back to take the lid off in case he cursed me. Once I’d counted my fingers I wished them all good morning and left to take my meds.

After the meds I made a coffee to take back with me and sat making a start on last night’s emails of which there were still a few. When I next looked at the clock it was 9.25 am and since I had no idea what time MuJo were arriving I stopped work to get washed and dressed. I even slapped a bit of water on my bonce to see if I could get rid of bedhead where one side lies down and the other sticks up. Once done I returned to work and started on today’s mail. I was able to work until 10.45 am when MuJo arrived. I sorted drinks and we sat and chatted a while, well Mu and I chatted while John coughed. Nope, no gold watches. For once the day was pretty much decided. They wanted the chippy in town and a couple of shops John likes. I also reminded him it was Market Day and he could have batteries put in the two watches he’s had in the car since before Christmas. When we arrived in town that was the first thing we did followed by lunch where I found I’d come out without any tabs. Never mind, I said I’d have some at tea time about 6.00 pm. After lunch we visited John’s shops without buying anything this visit then we had a ride to Flint. Muriel wanted Aldi so I used the opportunity to get some flowers for Ju and some chocolates for Temptations. Mu got what she needed and the next stop was Temptations which was good since I think I swallowed the contents of the budgie’s cage and I don’t even have a budgie. Mu and John both wanted a cold drink from the cool shelves and what a nice surprise when I got there than to find Ceri on her knees. ( Behave now!) I gave in to the temptation to give her a sws (kiss) on her forehead and help her up.

Wiping the drool from my chin and remembering I’m nearly twice her age I went to order my coffee and hand over the chocolates. I think coffee was an error considering I was thirsty but in the next shop I was able to get a small bottle of Pepsi Max to keep in my pocket. MuJo were searching for something special in material to run down behind and above he four poster. Unsuccessful we did one more shop together to try but without any luck. John went to sit on the car while Mu and I looked in one more place where I thought I’d found the ideal thing but Mu’s eyes just told me I have no taste. We drove back to my place and arrived there just after 4.30 pm. John needed a drink and Mu went out for lottery tickets. It was just before 5.00 pm when I waved them off. As I got in the house I was opening my mail page as I was trying to get my shoes off with the other hand. Six and a quarter hours without a computer, OMG How much mail can com through in that time? Aaaarrrggghhhh, I just found out. I need two computers so I can answer double the mails in the same time. They won’t make sense but really, this is me so who’ll notice? They will think I’m asleep again. I could only work until 6.15 pm before going to take a pre- foodie and get something to eat. Pork pie, bread and butter and a slice of strawberry and rhubarb tart that must have jumped into my basket at Aldi. Unfortunately the Big Bang Theory was on while I ate and it would have been rude not to stay to the end so I didn’t resume work until 7.00 pm. Then I remembered it’s Thursday and the new episode is on at 8.30 pm followed by a new episode of a police comedy I like. I just had to…….

At half past eight I slunk guiltily out of my room and went to the lounge, sank into my chair and turned TV back on. Both episodes were fantastic and I was glad I hadn’t missed them. At half past nine I slunk even more guiltily back into my room an tried to resume work a though I’d never been away. My computer wasn’t having any of that and automatically refreshed with a snigger. By the time I came round again…….                                                                                                                                                                                           ! “Come on, you can do this” I tried telling myself, and I tried, but between distractions like thinking spiders were crawling up my leg and countless typos I was just getting further behind. At 10.30 pm I excused myself and started on this blog as any excess mail could wait until tomorrow morning but I need to try and get out tomorrow for a while and then Saturday is like today-BAD. So it’s 11.25 pm now and maybe I’d better try for a little bit longer.                                                                                                                               Tonight a real blast from the past, hope you know it.

or

Friday.

I only survived until 12.15 am before I had to go to bed. Naturally I had to read for a while to refocus the grasshoprer brain but I shut the book and turned the light off at 1.00 am. The brain started up straight away, and no matter how much I thought about something the brain insisted on returning to it. Even now I’m not sure if my subconscious was giving me the chance to correct an error or whether I was just stuck on repeat like the old record players used to do. I remember driving my parents crazy by lifting the arm so ‘I got you babe’ by Sonny and Cher would repeat. At some stage I dropped of only to wake up or be woken up at 2.10 am. After a cigarette I was able to relax back into sleep again until 2.52 am. I refused to give in and achieved sleep again without having to first get out of bed. When I next woke at 3.47 am I knew it was time to get up. I couldn’t really object as I’d been given a treat yesterday morning. The small gods must get their way sometimes. Well most all the time actually.

I paid a visit to the country of the Loo Bloo Waterfall then came back and signed on. I was rather horrified when I saw how many emails I’d left from yesterday. Still, I had no choice but to start working to clear them though there was a temptation to ring in sick. I worked until I’d finished yesterday’s which was almost 6.15 am then decided it was a natural break to go feed the fish. I put the kitchen light on and then the tank light. Only Little Al was there ready for breakfast.I was a little earlier than usual. But something was wrong with the tank and I couldn’t figure out what. I combined trying to find the others with trying to see what was jarring me. I was halfway along the tank when my heart sunk, an angel fish dead behind the bubble wall, no it looked like 2. Just a bloody minute, I don’t have any angel fish I don’t like the nasty little beggars. I worked it out at last. The Loki half of MuJo had been at the tank while I was out of the room yesterday. He’d added to the tank three plastic fish from his old bubble tube. He must have delighted in the fact I hadn’t seen them yesterday.

 

Once I’d recovered, I left Big Al, Little Al and Pepper enjoying breakfast and went to take my meds. I thought I’d have breakfast this morning so once I’d taken a pre-foodie  I put two slices of bread in the toaster and took my other tabs. Then being Friday and the day I need to do my meds for the week again so I went through to the lounge for my meds drawer. Once done I took the now cold toast from the toaster , cut it and buttered it. As I stood eating, the machine was making me a latte. Once I’d finished I took my post-foodie tablets and made my way my room.  A few days ago I’d had a google+ message that someone had followed me. Let’s call her Marie (cos’ that’s her name). As I always do I went through to see if it was a fellow author, though obviously I’m slightly more flexible than only to join up with you reprobates. There was nothing to indicate what she did or any posts but there was a picture of a woman in be with an oxygen mask on. My immediate thought was that she may be lonely (and desperate) if she was long term ill so I followed her back. Today there was a message from google + that she had started a conversation with me, would I like to see. ( Obviously) so I took a look. What appeared was one of those rambling letters from a woman in Africa (where else) whose husband had died 2 years ago in a helicopter crash in France ( link supplied). Never had children, she’s dying from cancer, £6m+ in a bank which I can have 40% of if I make sure the other 60% is used for charitable purposes as they want. I wold normally laugh this off as I tell you what an obvious con it is but this time I thought how nasty these people are, using the picture of an obviously ill woman, and giving a link to an obvious tragedy which then impinges on someone’s grief. These individuals are not funny at all to do this.

I carried on working all morning with just a break to get washed and dressed and pay a visit to Pauline’s to renew my lottery tickets. I wasn’t out for long and was soon back behind my desk working. Towards the end of the session before I broke off for lunch I received another email, this time one of my old favourites. Notice the similarity in helicopter crashes?

Dear Sir/ Madam

My name is Mr. Phalli Sang Sotoku a Business Manager with Mega International commercial bank here in Asia. As the accounts officer to late Mr. Lam Kok who died in a helicopter crash in France while inspecting one of the new acquisition.

You can follow the link to know more about our deceased customer: www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-25476662

In accordance with the es-cheat laws as a kingdom nation, the Board of Directors of the bank met forth night ago and resolved to turn the estate of the deceased over to Government pause having waited for too long without the deceased relatives/next of kin surfacing property and if this is done, invariably, the funds will end up to become Government property.

I have the opportunity of making you the beneficiary to the deposited funds with our bank, i have all the details and required information to make you the beneficiary to the funds, get back to me with your intent consideration to handle this project on my behalf

Looking forward to hear from you. You can also feel free to reach me on my private mail box[PhallaSS@outlook.com].

Yours Sincerely

Mr. Phalli Sang Sotoku

I’m hoping that no-one sees either of today’s cons and thinks there’s anything in it for them. I made myself a shepherd’s pie for lunch, had a piece of suicidal strawberry and rhubarb tart and made my way back to work. I was running approximately 4 hours behind all the time and couldn’t seem to catch up. Oh how I cursed you all so if you wake up with furry feet tomorrow you know whose fault it is and maybe you won’t spend tomorrow writing while I’m out, thus saving me a headache when I get back Despite the backlog I had to stop at 5.00 pm for a break or I may just have nodded off. The TV schedule has changed a lot for the holiday weekend so I found a quiz to watch while I sat with another piece of my pie. Once I’d washed up I didn’t fancy much of what was on and didn’t want to start a film so I watched a couple of Big Bang Theory repeats so I returned to work smiling.

It took a while before I thought I was gaining on the backlog but bit by bit I clawed my way up the ladder. When I got there I knew it would be “Look at me Ma, I’m on top of the World Ma.” At least until some sneaky beggar writes another post. Bu at least I was feeling  a little more confident about tomorrow now, and with luck I won’t be out too long. As they can’t take me next week maybe I should buy extra tomorrow so I don’t have to leave the house except to get milk and bread at Pauline’s. I want to be one of those hermits where they drop food off outside my cave though I would pay for it. But, if I wasn’t going out, I couldn’t get cash so everything would have to be paid by cheque. Oh well, I could always claim I’d been asked for an autograph. By 11.00 pm I was up to date woo hoo, and rather than tempt myself later I closed the email down to concentrate on this. It’s now 12.02 pm and I’m off to bed.

Most countries will have had a version of this song but I’m going for the home version rather than the International one. I hope you enjoy it.

Saturday.

Well , I was in bed ‘toot sweet’ last night whn I closed the computer and ready for a couple of chapters of my book. I think once I finish this I may re-read all my early Pratchett’s again. My light went off just before 1.00 am and since I’d paid a visit before climbing into bed there should be no excuse to wake for that. Despite that I still woke at 1.40 pm and struggled to get off again. When I woke the next time I felt I’d had a good sleep and was ready to start work so I was more than a little surprised to find it was 2.22 am. Oh well, I thought, there’s plenty of time to go back to bed if I get tired and virtually all I have to do is fall off my chair. Had any of you been listening closely though I may have been heard muttering about the legitimacy of a certain 3 brothers. If one of the small gods decides to furnish me with copies of birth certificates next visit I could have some apologising to do. I’ve said it before that getting up this early can be a pain but can also be a great help on a Saturday in making sure I’m more or less up to date before going out. Today I logged in and found an early start maybe wasn’t too bad, not that I’ll ever repeat that to Somnos of course.

It took me until 6.00 am to clear up till 4.30 am’s post and then I could see a few deletions were coming my way so I took it as a natural break. I’m not sure why I chose to go at that moment as I wasn’t due to be screaming down Mike’s  ear that his coffee was ready. Since he’s still in Canada I’d need lungs like Dolly Parton’s. As I turned the tank light on in he kitchen Little Al was circling in place below the hatch like he’d not been fed this week. Fortunately my memory is better than his. I was in the process of sprinkling some food in when Bonzo and Pepper swam in. Almost a minute later Big Al appeared, taking his time and looking quite cross at me as though I ”d disturbed his sleep. Considering it’ s the same place Pepper came from I’m wondering what I had disturbed. Since they’re both Corys it wouldn’t surprise me but my friend Andrea (sigh) wondered what the combination might be as in Ligers/Tigons so my choices are either Pepals or Alpeps. No sign of Harold but he’s probably having a lie-in again. Leaving the fish I went to take my tabs. This week they changed the size of one from miniscule to horse tablet size so I’ve no idea whether it can go down with the bulk as usual or whether it’s another I need to take solo. As it happened it went down in bulk still so I have only two solo’s to take. I did that then made a coffee to bring back. I left kt on the desk while I concentrated on getting dressed.

When I was ready, I had my coffee, checked my ebay and then sis a little more work. At about 8.00 am I had a text from Yvonne to say they hoped to be leaving in about 15 minutes to pick me up but to remember traffic problems with road repairs. At 8.15 am another text to say ‘Left on time, Yay.” Knowing I had until about 9.00 pm I got the rubbish ready to put out and did so. Now I was free to work again. I was really doing quite well but time was getting on, a third text to tell me they were at the top of the hill came as a surprise. I left everything and got my coat on with bags at the ready. A few minutes later at 8.55 am they arrived. I was outside waiting. Firstly I had to listen to Reuben say ham and cheese….about 200 times before he said Hi Pops. Yvonne and Ugo ignored me as usual. They took me to Asda to do the bulk of my shopping. For the second week running I forgot my disabled parking card but Ugo managed to park quite close by so not too bad. I got my cash from the machine wile Yvonne grabbed a trolley and we went in. Ugo was going to follow behind us with Reuben. Potatoes first today and then because I bought flowers with MuJo on Thursday I didn’t need more today. It was straight on with the shopping. We were sharing the trolley again so I was trying to keep my stuff together out of their way. Every once in a while she would put something in her half and I’d decide I’d treat them to it and sneak it over. My daughter is a very argumentative person I find. We heard the sound of a siren, Oops, No. That was Reuben not wanting to let go of a toy.Yvonne decided he should have it for Easter instead of yet more chocolate and he was quiet again.That may need to be nipped in the bud though before he becomes a master manipulator. I don’t want the competition.

We finally finished going round and went for a coffee in MaDonald’s where Ugo demolished a couple of burgers and fries and even Reuben had a bit.When we’d done there they took me to Lidl to see if there was a special still available which was on just Yesterday and today. I was lucky , there were some left. Yvonne did  her main shop there and I managed to get them a few more treats.  I was thinking of putting them kin her trolley when we reached the till for a joke but I know she’d never let me pay for them so I didn’t. The moaning wasn’t any less but at least it was fait accompli. All done they ran me home and I made sure she had a tassimo cleaning tablet and their Easter eggs before they left. She left me loads of sweets for Easter from them all. Once they’d gone I started unpacking. The air was blue. My fridge is so small as to be fairly useless and I was using a show horn to lever things in. Finally it was done. Now it was lunch time and I had to see that through before anything else. It was nearly 2.00 pm before I was finally able to come through to work. By which time I was almost too scared to bother. With very good reason too. But, I girded my lions ( I used brasso and their manes came up a lovely colour) and put my grind to the nose stone and soon enough I could see results. One thing I noticed early on. While you lot were staying in and writing instead of enjoying the sunshine, all the women who propose to me have gone on holiday. Either that or it’s time for a bath. That in itself presents a problem as I only have a shower here though I could have a strip wash in the sink if Mike hadn’t told me I’d fall out. He said I should never have taken up tap dancing. Boom Boom.

Time just passed in a flash so I got dressed again and at 6.00 pm went through to turn the tank light off and to have some tea. I confess I couldn’t be bothered making anything so I had two doughnuts , it tasted like diabetic jam so I didn’t feel too bad.I watched TV for half n hour but had to stop because my eyes were getting ready to close. I don’t mind them doing that but I’d rather it was after I catch up. By 8.15 pm I had caught up and was so relieved. I could keep pace with things as they came in now, and then a little later could concentrate on the blog so it was ready for midnight. And that’s what I did.And now I’m off to bed. I have a treat for you all on Tuesday.

By special request of Suzanne Joshi another Cole Porter song but this time by a much more recognisable name.

The Easter Bunny?

Music Maestro

 

Rogues Gallery

My very good friend ( and brilliant author by the way) A.C.Flory mentioned in a comment on my last blog that she’d like a reminder of who’s who in the fishy world now they all have names. I’m sure some of you may remember the originals but here’s a run down of the Famous Five, survivors of their very own Armageddon.

Bronze Cory ‘Bonzo’

Don’t worry that he looks a little startled, he’s camera shy Unhappy that he was caught scouring for food. Bonzo a bronze corydorus (cory)

‘Pepper’ a member of the Pepper Catfish family companion of Big Al

Pepper is a very even tempered fish and quite fond of his/her grub. Also a cory.

‘Big Al’ in the process of a ‘Dirty look’ Little Al is smaller and paler

Hard to tell but Big Al is the same size as Pepper about 2″ long. Little Al is just over 1″ so far. Big Al is a little more orange than in the picture but it’s about right for Little Al’s colour. Albino corys.

‘Harold’ the Hoplosternum ( Hoplo)

Considering the number of times recently Harold has tried to give me a heart attack by completely disappearing when I’m searching the tank for him and then re-appearing as though nothing is amiss, should probably be renamed Harry Houdini of the fish world.

All of the above are a species of catfish and you’ll notice from their quaint little moustaches that they’re all from the cory family. Very hardy little beggars to have survived the Great Plague (Thankfully). I hope you enjoyed re-acquainting yourselves with them.

Hugs