Drumming the Shin Retreat & Being given the bird, by the bird.

Sunday 12th July 2015

I had thought to bemoan my broken night until I realised it wasn’t as ungenerous as I thought. Bed was about 12.15 am which wasn’t bad, I read until 12.50 am and knew I needed to sleep. Out went the light and I went out like a light. When I woke my tooth was hurting and a quick glance at the clock told me it was just 1.27 am. I got up and applied some clove oil gel which really took my breath away, and what felt like most of the skin in my mouth too. No wonder they say you won’t notice the toothache after using it. I took a walk to the kitchen for two painkillers then sat in my chair in the lounge. The last time I looked at my watch it was 2.20 am.I slept. The next time I looked at my watch I was wide awake and it was 5.05 am. So all in all I did manage over 3 hours.Not to shabby after recent performances and there I was ready to face the day. I paid my usual visit and then carried on through to my room where I powered up my computer. The post in my main mailbox wasn’t too bad but would still take a couple of hours so I mad a start. Not a long one though as I skived off at 6.00 am to get my tablets and make a coffee. When I came back I was in quite a good frame of mind. The sun seemed to be breaking through and I saw Joey as I came through, head on one side watching me. I had a short one sided conversation with him.

I’d dealt with the first mailbox by 8.00 am and for a break had taken my empty mug back through to the kitchen. It had gone dull again and was raining. Nothing unexpected there then. Joey had gone back to sleep and I wished I had. Instead I started on the second batch of mail which again wasn’t bad and finished that at 9.20 am. I was thinking that with Mike having to go pick his Dad up today, maybe we should go out for breakfast instead of lunch, so at 9.30 am I took a coffee through and woke him. He’d been in bed since midnight and had slept early so I knew he should have had enough sleep. It was just the one call and he got up. Amazing. I gave him a few minutes to come round before I joined him.

It wasn’t long before he got his first phone call and it was to say the hospital may keep him another night so the social work team can visit him  and do an assessment. Good idea. He’d still go over and visit his Dad then come back to mine before going off again tomorrow to pick him up. That at least meant we could go out for lunch. We left home at 11.30 am to go and buy some slipper for his Dad before lunch which we did quite successfully. Mike was able to ask about a few disability aids too from the same shop. We went for lunch. As we were going to pick up a BFG from a supermarket Mike’s phone went again. This time it was a doctor to say he was releasing Dad this afternoon. I got Mike to say he’d be there by 5.00 pm which took some of the pressure off and allowed him to go to Dad’s place for clean clothes before going in for him. Now he’ll be able to go straight back to Rugby without having to come back here afterwards.

Mike dropped me at home and we loaded up the car with his luggage and he headed off to Manchester again. I had a brief conversation with Joey before coming through to try and clear the post. That was about 3.00 pm. It was 6.15 pm before I emerged again, there was just so much of it. I took a tablet then prepared myself a sandwich and a bowl of strawberries. I put the goggle box on and chilled. Every time Joey decided to sing for me I went over and sat by the cage talking to him. Tomorrow he’s going to find my hand in there a lot. I don’t think it will take him long to get used to it. As soon as he does, I can start leaving the cage door open for him to come out and hopefully he’ll choose to sit on my shoulder.

A very Joey like budgie.

While doing the mail later I was messaging with Yvonne about what to do this week on Ju’s birthday. She reminded me that during the last blog I’d mentioned her having an appointment with her baby team. Since it seems I’d forgotten to mention she’s pregnant  it seemed likely that the appointment might not make sense to most people. I’m sorry about that. For a while I was under a promise to say nothing and then when I could, I thought I had. So here is my official announcement. Yvonne is due to have a baby at Christmas, she says Reuben will be having a brother, I think it’s a sister and as I’m a Capricorn I think it should be my decision. They both say they’re going to leave it as a surprise this time.  Well, it’s 11.30 pm and I’m off to bed now and fingers crossed will have a good night. Mail up to date as at 10.30 pm

Monday.

Well I got my wish. Though I stopped reading at 1.00 am this morning and it did take a little time to get to sleep, I didn’t wake until 5.12 am. That’s good going. The Piddle Palace beckoned and then I logged into the computer and into my first mail address. I almost turned round and went back to hide under the covers when I saw the amount but conscience got the better of me. At 6.30 am I broke off and went to get my meds and a coffee. On my way back I stopped to chat to Joey. He’s obviously not a morning bird so I’m thinking of renaming him Mikey. No reason  of course, I just like the name. I talked to him but he didn’t move on his perch, even when I put my hand through one of the doors. If I’d gone closer he might have shifted his little butt. Maybe later.

Back on the computer I finished the mail including a refresh at 7.35 am and opened the next set. That took me until 8.45 am when I took a break and went to see if Joey was feeling any more chatty. Answer, NO. It is a dull day so perhaps he doesn’t think it’s daylight yet. I sat on the edge of the table and told him repeatedly what a good/clever boy he is. I thought flattery might get me somewhere. He didn’t even blink at me. The minute I sat in my own chair and started reading a magazine he started singing then a little bout of arguing until I thought it was a Josephine or Michelle. Luckily that didn’t go on too long so for now I’ve restored his masculinity. I cleaned the cage, the bird bath and the four water/food trays and gave him fresh including a couple of grapes to nibble on. I want to see how he does with those as so fat he seems to regard the apple with suspicion and hasn’t gone near the millet. His seed tray though he still seems to regard as a place to bed down or a toilet.

At 9.05 am I returned to the computer to check on a parcel and found it was to be delivered today. A few minutes later I took my cup to the kitchen and saw the postman coming. I opened the door to him and was given just rubbish but he did say he’s be back with a parcel in a few minutes. He was. The book part of Reuben’s birthday present has now arrived. Yvonne and I will look for the other part tomorrow when we meet. While I was back at the computer I had a message from her to say she’s been on to the DWP and left a message for the woman who ‘corrected’ my claim to find out why it’s gone into recovery mode. Someone on the phone assures us it’s been dealt with but I’ve still not had a letter from her to confirm her actions so you’ll excuse me my cynicism. Terrible customer service in play there. She’s supposed to ring back tomorrow when we’re together. I won’t be holding my breath. I did a little more work then the warden came at 11.30 am and stayed until 12.15 am. It was pleasant talking with her. After she’d gone I took a pre-foodie tablet and set a beef stew and dumplings going in the microwave. I watched the start of Bargain Hunt while the stew was cooking./ As it was in it’s rest for a minute phase I did two rounds of bread and butter to make sure I wasted no gravy. To prove I stayed awake, 5 of the sic item made a profit, and one of the two bonus items. Luckily the team that suffered Charles Hanson didn’t go with his bonus buy which made a resounding loss of £50.00. Charlie Ross’s on the other hand made a £20.00 profit and the team had gone with him.

After lunch I sat on the edge of the table again and chatted with Joey. It was a very one sided conversation. Just occasionally he cocked his head and looked interested but on the whole I think he found the whole thing boring. I went through to check the mail. There was enough to keep me going for a while but it’s just a swell I didn’t do too much bragging about staying awake as I woke up leaning over the keyboard like a demented typist. I had no idea how long I’d been out though I’ve deduced it must only have been moments since as yet no-one has complained at having been sent the script for War and Peace in gobbledegook. It was almost 4.00 pm and I felt tired so I went  and sat in my chair but with the TV off so as not to distract me and then I’d end up falling asleep in something I wanted to watch, and now Wimbledon is over my quizzes are back on. For all I was tired I didn’t drop off easily but eventually I did doze for a few minutes. Then Joey decided to serenade me and believe me that can be piercing. I had no choice but to tell him what a clever boy he was while hoping he didn’t notice the gritted teeth.

When I came round fully and talked to Joey he naturally lost interest so I put the TV on and was in time for my first quiz. I know I watched up to 7.00 pm and that I fully intended to watch something from 7.00 pm to 8.00 pm. Instead I woke up at 7.45 pm having missed most of it. I turned off in disgust and came through to work. The post was at mammoth proportions again so apart from a break at 9.30 pm to take my evening meds I was hard at it till gone 10. 30 pm. I prepared my jacket for tomorrow by making sure my diabetic meds were in the right jacket this time ( on Sunday I put them in the jacket pocket under the jacket I was going to wear). I started the blog at 10.45 pm knowing I’d be ready for the morning now.

Tuesday.

It was lucky I turned my light out to go to sleep at 12.45 am last night as this morning started again at 3.21 am.  Not entirely a bad thing as I had to leave the house at 7.30 am for my bus and needed to have had some breakfast before then and to be as up to date as possible with my mail. When I get home I have some washing to do and poor Joey will have been talking to himself for quite a while. Sad as it is, he needs to hear much more of my voice if he’s to talk and if he’s to get used to me. I worked on the mail until 5.00 am and then went to the kitchen to take my meds (including a pre-foodie) make myself some toast and eat it after using a cigarette to time myself. Then I made a coffee and took the two postfood tabs, and back to work again. I was clear at just gone 7.00 am and had time to mess about on ebay before going out.

At 7.30 am I walked up to the bus stop and only had to wait a couple of minutes before it appeared. I was the only one on apart from the driver until we got to Holywell. As usual I traveled with my eyes shut most of the time and the journey seemed to go quicker. As I got off at the stop in Chester I had a cigarette while waiting for Yvonne and Reuben to arrive. I managed t see them in the distance and hid behind a pillar making Reuben jump a bit as I appeared. We wasted a few minutes in the £ shop until our shop and cafe were open. As soon as the shop opened we were there with Roobs ready to push the button on the lift then gallop ahead of us to the cafe and claim our table which he sat at until we arrived. Yvonne made him some Weetabix and ordered our drinks plus a toastie for me and toast and jam for them. As soon as the toast appeared Roobs stopped eating Weetabix and demanded some. He was also drinking our drinks in turn as they were both cold. I had an iced lemonade and Yvonne an iced ( decaff) coffee.

After breakfast we had a look at the sale and I got another pair of skinny jeans in a different colour. A brown but I’m not sure what you’d call it. I also got a couple of tee-shirts before we went down on the lift with Reuben pushing the buttons and left the store. We walked towards the market as I was hoping to find a table and chairs for Reuben’s birthday. We did find one but it would have been awkward to get home so I left the money with Yvonne so she could get Ugo to pick it up after work. We went to have a look at the budgies and I picked up a few things for Joey including a swing. It was quite warm but also raining as we left there so we decided to head towards the precinct to have a look at the new shops and get me a drink. One of my favourite shops The Gift Company had a rocking horse outside and a rocking donkey. Yvonne loved the donkey and Roobs did too, so much that he didn’t want to get off. It was at a special price and after much arguing I got him that instead of the table and chairs for his birthday. Lucky for me it came flat packed ( except for the donkey) and was lighter than the table. Poor Yvonne got to carry that home. We ordered a drink but the queue was so bad that time ran away and it had to be taken out. The intention was for me to drink it on the bus. I managed to get it on there without spilling any. After I’d waved them off and the bus had left I had the drink but wasn’t able to finish it because of the ice in it. I propped it up in my bag and closed my eyes. I must have nodded off because I woke up and my shins were beating a tattoo on the base of the seat in front of me. Ouch, it bloody hurt.

At the other end I pulled the drink container out of the bag and found the lid had come off. Poor Joey’s gifts were a bit damp. I threw it all away in the bin , what a shame, the lemonade was lovely. I got home as quickly as possible as I’d not had time/forgotten to empty my bladder before I left. No way was I going to manage to get to Pauline’s again. Damn! When I mentioned this to Yvonne whilst letting her know I was back safely, she laughed and said she thought it would be a close call. Such sympathy. I didn’t feel hungry when I first got in and yet again I forgot about my washing. I tried to talk to Joey but he wasn’t having any so I started straight back to work. I managed to catch up at 4.05 pm and decided that was a good time to eat. Joey decided that was a good time to sing to me. I had my pre-foodie, rammed a cottage pie in the micro and sat on the corner of the table to talk to him. I chatted away and at the same time slid my hand under one of the doors and rested it on a food dish. He really wasn’t interested and moved as far away as possible without seeming a coward. I had to give up when the micro binged and sat with my lunch on a tray just throwing the odd, Joey, Joey, Joey, Best Boy in his direction. He didn’t once tell me how good I was.

Since my quiz was on at 5.00 pm I just stayed there after washing the pots. I had programmes all the way to to 8.00 pm though my eyes were drooping a bit towards the end. Joey appeared to have put himself to bed so I turned the power off the box and went through to work. Just as well I did as it was mounting up. Sitting in my chair I leaned down to scratch an itch on my leg and it stung, my nail came up with skin and blood. Damn, I thought I’d better change out of my Skinny jeans ( yes, 64 yrs old and skinny jeans, Yvonne says I look amazing and I haven’t paid her a penny). When I released my legs to the sunlight I saw bruising to both shins as a result of kicking the seat in front on the bus but also I’d scratched the skin off the lower shin on my bad leg. The skin must be very thin there. I went through to get a piece of plaster and some disinfectant- which I spilt over everything, including the plaster- but which did stick. I’d wear shinpads but I’d have to wear my slim jeans and not my skinny ones.!! If the bad leg swells up any further I won’t get it through the leghole of those jeans much longer. I put my minions lounge pants on and my Bazinga tee-shirt. Nice and cool while I worked. I took 5 minutes off at 9.30 pm to take my meds and then finally caught up at 10.20 pm. Straight onto the blog then to be followed by a early night. I think Yvonne, Ugo and Roobs are coming to take me to lunch tomorrow.

Wednesday.

I stopped reading early last night and turned the light out at 12.40 am. I felt really cheated when I woke at 2.03 am and couldn’t drop off again, even after a trip to the Piddle Palace. Since I’d been not long before sleep there was no urgency to the visit. I had no choice but to start work and hope it tired me out enough to need another sleep. Because it wasn’t that long since I’d been hitting the mail I wasn’t expecting too much at that time. I was to be disappointed but having said that. I was clear again by 4.15 am and chose to go sit in my chair in the lounge. I’d fully intended to nod off for a while but Joey was still on his overnight perch which was right next to his mirror and he was fascinating to watch. Moving around he’d knock the mirror and make it spin which obviously annoyed him. He’d have a quick conversation with his reflection then as the reflection didn’t answer he’d get cross and rap his rival over the head with his beak, or in other words clout the mirror. What a very ignorant mirror it must be, not answering when spoken to. Again because he moves around on the perch his posterior sometimes nudges the honey seed stick hanging from the roof. Because it swings back to catch him on the rump it also gets a telling off followed by a little nibble when he realises it’s food. The odd thing is he knows that’s food and eats it but if you stick s piece of apple through the bars he avoids it like the plague. The grapes I put in yesterday are still there though I know he’s visited them. He just hasn’t managed to break the skin and sample the contents yet.

At 5.15 am I gave up trying to sleep and went to the kitchen. I set the washer to quick wash and set it going. I had my meds and then some Ricicles for breakfast. I set the drier going, made myself a coffee and came back through to the bedroom to catch up on mail again. My dear friend Paula has blogged today about creating her new website but how she’s been conned by them for adverts on the social sites. All I could do was sympathise and say I find twitter to be the best way of carrying a message to the public rather than paid ads on Facebook etc.At 6.00 am I stopped work to start work. I filled my mop bucket with hot water and some Flash and did the kitchen floor and then the laminate floor in the lounge. It was about time as even I’m beginning to write my name in the dust and I can see the tracks of where all the spiders walk. It looks much better.  That done, I returned here to carry on with the mail. At 8.40 am I went and checked the washing machine and was in time to see it finish the drying cycle. I folded everything and put it on the airer. I wonder if I’d bought one before if I’d have saved a load of I***ing? Maybe I should rewash everything in the baskets. As soon as that was done I changed Joey’s seed and water then got the hoover out and did the hallway and the edge of the carpet around the coffee table in the lounge. I didn’t do the bedrooms today as I’m not expecting an inspection and I need to get out to Pauline’s for supplies.

It was 9.5 am when I got to Pauline’s but I was OK the Mother’s Mafia had gone.No pushchairs gathered around the entrance and non-school age kids running around with dripping noses which they wipe on the variety of dogs under the pretence of a hug. It’s easy to trip over any or all of the hazards and a trouser leg does just as well for the children. I got my bread, TV mag and cigarettes so I should be OK until Saturday shopping now. Back at home I put the stuff away then sat talking to Joey for a while, though I should say talking at Joey since he turned his back on me. How rude ! The moment I left to come through to the bedroom he started chirping. At 10.30 am I got a text from Yvonne to say they were on their way. It would have been Ju’s birthday today so we’ve decided to spend some of the day together and go for a meal. I kept working on the mail until the last minute or so before I expected them. I wasn’t too far off and when the car pulled up they got out and came to say hello to Joey. I’m not sure Reuben has seen one quite so close before. I think he was glad Joey was in a cage. We set off and called in at Abakhan on the way for a cuppa and a chance for Reuben to use the playground. It was quite pleasant this morning so it was OK. When we’d played/had a drink we went on our way to The Bells of St Mary’s. We had a nice carvery then Ugo and Yvonne had puddings with Reuben giving his father a lot of unwanted help to finish.

Ride my see saw.

Racing away on my horse.

After leaving the Bells Ugo drove into Holywell so I could visit the bank, he even came with me for protection. Then they dropped me off at home and left me to my mail. It was about 3.00 pm and Dil was due at 5.00 pm. I managed t get the levels down before he arrived but he was a bit early . I made him a cup of tea as usual and we settled to watch the quiz, me trying to read him the questions off the screen he says he can’t make out. At 6.00 pm the TV went off and the games table came out. Yahtzee ended up being 4-2 in my favour tonight , a nice change. The cheating must be working. I also managed a win at Trivial Pursuit but not by much and it was only because for once I was able to answer a sports question that I never usually get. Three games of cribbage  next and I won the first before things no longer went my way and Dil slaughtered me in the other two. He went home with his honour intact, Damn ! He left at 9.30 am and as usual I tidied up a bit and washed the pots before coming through to work. Only till 10.00 pm though when I remembered I hadn’t taken my meds. I did that and made myself a sandwich too. Then I had to plough in until I was clear at 10.40 pm and able to start the blog.

Thursday.

I turned my light off at 1.00 am as usual. I think sleep came fairly quickly. During the night I remember getting up once. I’m not sure if I piddled in the loo then went to visit Joey, or piddled on Joey then went to visit the loo. I just remember some squawks but that could be because I approached him in the dark an spoke to him. However, I came back to bed and stayed there until 5.09 am, a really good sleep. When I got up I made another journey to the loo then returned to power up the computer. I thought I’d wait until 6.00 am when it was very light before going through for my tablets. I made a start on my mail first. Things were a bit slow as my ISP said the mail boxes were being worked on until 7.00 am. Anyway, at 6.00 am I went through to the kitchen, passing through the lounge and Joey in his cage. He wasn’t sitting on his usual top perch, but on the main perch about half way down. Either I was in trouble or he was actually awake. I approached the cage gingerly, but all seemed fine except for the fact that he didn’t feel like talking to me again. Nothing new there then. I went to the kitchen and took my meds then made a coffee to take back to the bedroom. I spoke to Joey as I passed through again but still no response.

Back in my room I was horrified to see a Microsoft update had been started and my system was due to close in 3 minutes. I asked it to postpone the update for 4 hours and carried on. Withing a couple of minutes it closed down. So much for asking politely for a postponement. When the system rebooted I signed in again and hoped it would take me to where I was previously. No such luck, I had to sign in to my mail again. This time however it would only sign in to an older incarnation which did not display a way of deleting emails. I had to deal with them and leave them there to be canceled at the end. At 7.00 am I signed out and then back in again to the newer system. Yay, it was back to normal and I could delete everything I’d dealt with. By 7.20 am I was clear on the first mail box and able to open the second and start again. There were quite a few duplicates and so it didn’t take too long to clear that one also. By 7.55 am I was twiddling my thumbs. I went to get dressed. My leg is so bad this morning I’ve left my socks off and am wondering whether to stay in today rather than go to get my lottery tickets which I can do tomorrow. I stuck by that decision.  As usual I spent a bit of time by Joey’s cage talking to him and resting my hand just inside the cage door to see if I could encourage him to sit on it. The word ‘sit’ is almost the right word for what he did do on my hand. Maybe that’ll bring luck when I check the lottery this Friday night.

I checked the bank and found the DWP are still recovering the non-existent debt they said I owed. So much for it being sorted as one of their Supervisors promised. Speaking of whom, she left a message on the phone today to say she’d got my letter ( I wonder which one of the many) and she’ll try later to speak to me. Again that shows how much they listen when I make a point of saying I don’t use the phone and want them to speak to Yvonne. At the moment I feel justified in having lost my faith in them altogether. I watched Homes under the Hammer and saw just how small house prices are in some places. here and just what a profit can be made from bringing them up to scratch. Buying for the rental market seems to be the way to go for many buyers as it can bring in a good pension income later on. After that I started to think about lunch . my stomach thinks my throat has been cut since I didn’t bother with breakfast this morning. Ahhh, that’s better. I had Bargain Hunt on while I ate and settled down to watch the rest of it after I’d washed up. Ha, I must have seen about five minutes before the aliens came and took me away. That’s the only explanation I can come up with for this sudden loss of memory that lasted until 2.05 pm. Fancy them making me miss the end of my programme.

I retreated to my bedroom to work and barricade myself in just in case the aliens tried again. I could even hear Joey singing but I was strong and stayed in front of the computer working until 4.00 pm. I had to cut and run then to try getting Joey to respond to me rather than talking to the hand while it was still light outside. I stayed sitting by the cage while I watched the first half of my quiz, My arm was starting to ache a bit then so I withdrew it and sat in my chair. The moment I moved Joey moved down to the spot he’d been studiously ignoring a few seconds before. At the end of the quiz I turned over for the next one and was gobsmacked to find it’s been replaced by golf now. I think I only had three night between tennis and this. I watched Wheeler Dealers instead until 7.00 pm then cam back through to the bedroom. The post is almost back to it’s previous levels. I know it’s my own fault but have no idea what to do about it. At just gone 8.00 pm I had a text from Mike to say he’s on his way so it will be anywhere around 11.00 pm when he arrives unless the traffic is bad. I’m only going to work until 10.00 pm tonight then do the blog so I’m free to make his drink when he gets here.

You didn’t want your pud did you daddy?

I caught a bug at nursery.

Friday.

Michael arrived at 10.30 pm last night  so I made him a drink and sat with him to talk about his week (and mine). He’d forgotten it was Ju’s birthday on Wednesday so was surprised I’d had a second outing with Yvonne. But, as a result of hearing about the table and chairs on Tuesday now knows what to get Reuben for his birthday.(Unless Reuben reads this of course). It was midnight before I got to bed and my usual 1.00 am before my reading stopped and the light went out. I knew sleep wasn’t going to be easy as I wasn’t breathing right in any position I tried, and the coughing was irritating, like something was there but wouldn’t come out, a gold watch perhaps as we used to say when I was a kid. ( Who am I kidding, we still say it- cough it up, it might be a gold watch?????). Anyway , lying on my side, trying hard not to use up the last of my spray as I won’t get more until Tuesday or Wednesday, I eventually dropped off. At 3.11 am I was up again and immediately the cough started. Damn, I got up.

I nipped to the the loo and then rather than come back and sign on, I ventured through to the lounge. Joey was on his top perch but it wasn’t bright enough yet for me to disturb him so I sat in my chair and closed my eyes. Wham, I was out like a light until 4.18 am. I felt much better. I wished Joey good morning and heard rather than saw him move on the perch but it still wasn’t light enough for him to venture forth. A quick stretching of the wings was all I got. Back to the bedroom and power up the computer. It was great as I signed into my first mail box, just one email from last night. While that might be a cause for celebration less so were the 57 emails from this morning which were eventually updated by another 29 then another 13 before 7.00 am when I stopped work to take my meds and make a coffee. I went back to work leaving my empty drugs tray till later. I was finished for a while by 8.20 am and as I intended getting Mike up at 8.30 am I went to put the kettle on.

I took a coffee through at 8.30 am and wondered why Mike wasn’t up already considering Joey’s been singing for the last ten minutes. In a slightly louder voice than usual I announced the coffee was there and that I’d put it on the bedside table nearest the door. I actually got a thank you. I went back to see if Joey could be persuaded my hand is approachable. That got me nowhere. After ten minutes I heard Mike’s alarm go off and he got up. Pretty good going really for him. As he brought his drink through I gave up my tries with Joey and sat down  for a few minutes. I said to Mike I hadn’t seen anyone going to school so far and wondered if my lot finished yesterday. It looked as though they had so I chose to go to Pauline’s for my lottery then. I wasn’t very long and came back to do my drug trays. Mike came to make himself another coffee and turned the spout away from me so I wasn’t scalded. I wonder if he’s quite well? I watched an episode of Frazier then turned over for Homes Under the Hammer which Mike said he’d seen so he went to get dressed. At 10.30 am he was ready to go see his Dad and left. It’s back to just me and Joey again and though I feel guilty about leaving him, I did come back through to catch up on work at 11.00 am. At 11.45 am I decided to sort out my lunch so took a pre-foodie tablet and waited a few minutes before putting a chips with curry sauce in the microwave.

I managed to finish lunch just in time for Bargain Hunt and even managed to stay awake for the auctions though it was hard today One team made a profit on all three items but turned down the experts bonus buy which made a £40 profit. Ouch. But they did win a Golden Gavel for their profits. At 1.00 am I knew I wanted to go to sleep but made myself come and catch up on both sets of mail before even considering it.That took until 3.10 pm and then I went through to try it. I put the TV on to aid me but the programme proved to interesting and sleep  didn’t come. I went back at 4.00 pm but there wasn’t much post so it took very little time  and I returned to the TV. I stayed there until just before 7.00 pm. As I went through to the bedroom I saw I’d missed a lot of calls from Yvonne and texted her. She called me with the news that the DWP had been in touch. It appears the overpayment they’re currently recovering does not date from this year and that the non-existent one has been written off. It appears they’re now recovering an overpayment from 2013. WHAT??? Get rid of one in 2015 and create one from 2013 and just start recovery now. 2013 was the year Ju died and my head was not where it belonged in those days. I shall have to write and ask for a letter of explanation which will no doubt take another freakin’ month to be actioned.

Once I’d spoken to Yvonne I went for my shower I’d had no word from Mike about when he was coming back. I was out in time for A Question of Sport and it had only been on for a minute when Mike walked in. For once he was going to have to wait for his coffee. Once it was over I made Mike’s drink and then we watched a programme on Anglo-Saxon treasures together. We both enjoy history and the Sutton Hoo treasure which was included were amazing,as were the Lindisfarne Gospels. After that I departed for the bedroom and left him with a comedy show he likes. By 10.10 pm I had cleared the mail and was able to start the blog. Yay, an early night.

On my Flying Saucer- going back to my galaxy.

Wrestling with Daddy but I still can’t get his wallet for Mummy.

Saturday.

Another long night, short sleep. My light went off just before  1.00 am, I know I was tired and the reading had relaxed me but I had major problems getting comfortable. I was tempted to head for my chair but thought I should try harder in bed. I fell asleep. Next thing I know it’s 3.23 am and I’m wide awake. I didn’t want to be but to be honest who cares what I want. Certainly not Somnos et al. By 5.00 am I’d done both sets of post and didn’t think  doing the rubbish at that time would be appreciated. At least the bags are ready to go. At 5.30 am I got dressed and went through to the kitchen to take my meds and have some cornflakes. Maybe it would be a good idea to deal with my shopping list while I was there? Nah, I decided to go unencumbered by ideas this week and just shop as the mood took me.. I took my coffee back to the bedroom to catch up on any new mail. I was delighted to  get a message from a special friend to say some medical test results had come back fine. As I know it’s been a worry since the tests were called for, I couldn’t be happier. One of my biggest regrets at a time like this is that my Hugs are all virtual. I’d love to be doing them in person. At 6.00 am I started taking the rubbish out. First the food waste, then the recycling bags. Finally I took the wheelie bin to the bottom of the path. All ready to go now.

At 6.30 am Mike’s alarm went off as I took his coffee in but that didn’t stop me speaking to him of course as I told him it was there. His eyes opened, his eyes closed. Ten minutes later I wasn’t quick enough, his alarm went off but he got up before I could speak so it was a 2A an IC day today. Very disappointing, he’s spoiling all my fun since I can’t insult him as much. For all his hanging around we got out at 7.20 am and wee’re at the Supermarket for 7.45 am. I hit the machines for cash while Mike got us a freebie trolley, We were confronted by a clothes sale again so I got Reuben a couple of tops. OK stop asking questions, yes,I got two tee-shirts for me as well. Without a list the food shopping seemed negligible and we motored round there. Through the tills in no tome flat and to the cafe where I had an iced mocha. Mike sat staring as I drank it and when asked why replied he was waiting for me to get brain freeze so he could laugh at my pain. Such charm, oh yes, he was in the wrong queue that day.

On the way to Flint we stopped at Pets At Home to pick up a couple of new perches for Joey. It’s a very big cage so some extra places to perch gives him more options to ignore me from. When we finished there we headed for Flint. We looked in a couple of shops before getting the chocolates out of the car to take into Temptations. No Ceri again this morning but Mike was delighted to see it was Sian. He can tease her just as easily. We enjoyed our coffee. After we left it was a quick trip to the frozen food store for lollies then home. That cruel person made me deal with the frozen food. We had a bit of a break after unpacking as Mike was feeling under the weather( I knew those voodoo dolls worked).At 1.00 pm we went off for lunch. Getting in the car we had no idea where we were going. Mike suggested Tariq’s but I hadn’t brought chocolates out for them so we carried on and went to he Cook House where I had Father’s Day. What a fantastic meal it was again. We were both stuffed. We still had a bit of parking time left so had a wander round all the charity shops in Prestatyn looking for one of those great buys that always turns out to be worth a fortune on The Antiques Roadshow. No such luck nut I did but a small wooden box to collect change in and a birthday book. Then before we could be pinched for parking too long we headed for home.

It was almost 4.00 pm before we got back so I had no choice but to attack my post. Mike could entertain Joey while I worked. Of course I couldn’t stay away all evening so I had to go back tot he lounge at 6.00 pm where we had cake for tea then watched some TV . I stayed until 9.40 pm and left Mike to finish a programme. I whittled some more emails down until I’d almost done at 10.30 pm. then started the blog.I may go back to the post later so there’s less waiting in the morning.

I wish you all a Wonderful New Week with Many Hugs.

 

 

The Houdini Files & Tempted in Temptations.

Sunday 29th March 2015.

There were a few wake-ups last night but I wasn’t ready. Finally it was 5.08 when I got up so I’d had the benefit of four hours sleep.  I wonder if Somnos is on holiday again or i this really is a show of his generosity. After my trip to the loo I came back and prepared to work. In a later message this morning a friend mentioned Mailnos, god of emails and suggested I entreat him to lighten my load of conmail. I’ve been bragging recently that it’s slackened off somewhat and others must be getting it. Waiting for me this morning was a treat.

From The Desk of the Information Officer,
Compensation Payment Department,
United Nations Headquarters.
New York, USA.

Dear Beneficiary,
                                     NOTICE OF YOUR PAYMENT

I write to notify you of the payment of your compensation fund to this office as 
one those that has been Scammed through African countries mainly from Nigeria. 
You only have to re-verify your data such as your full name, your address, your 
phone number and your occupation so it can be used to authenticate you as the 
legal owner of this fund. Immediately this is done successfully, you will be 
given every details of your compensation fund and the amount accrue to you.

However, you are to contact the Supervising Agent in charge of this payment; his 
name is Mr. Smith Brad. He has been given the full mandate to get your fund paid 
to you, so kindly send the required information through his email address at ( 
smith_brad2@aol.com ) for immediate processing of your compensation sum.

Your immediate response to this email will be fully appreciated.

Yours Faithfully,
For: UNITED NATIONS

Mrs. Joyce Savage

It's strange that I'm supposed to have reported this crime and yet they don't know my name. I gave it a great deal of attention on it's way to the bin. I worked through till 7.00 am before going through to see to the fish. As it was yesterday and the day before I received instant attention from four of the five and I'll leave you to guess which on couldn't be bothered making an appearance. After not having seen him at all yesterday it was more worrying today but two tings became plain. The little so and so is a magician. A very careful study of the tank provided no proof of either a corpse nor a live fish and yet when we did the tank I had all the hiding places turned towards me so I could see at a glance if they were occupied.. I'm thinking of changing his name from Harold Hoplo to Harry Houdini if he ever shows up again.

I left them eating and went to take my morning meds. It was a little like trying to swallow a mouthful of sawdust each time I thought about him. When I’d finished I made myself a coffee and just sat in the lounge to drink it. Eventually I decided to go back to work and took my mug through to the kitchen. Mr Houdini was out looking for breakfast. I hoped he really was magic because the others had done a pretty good clean up job. There was a fair bit of mail as is usual on a Sunday so I just took them in my stride, dealing with them slowly in their turn. The morning passed quite quickly until I realised it was time to think of lunch. I took my pre-foodie, turned the TV to an Al Pacino film I thought sounded interesting about the American War of independence and put my meal in the micro.There was a choice between braised beef or a new one Ham hock in parsley sauce with mash. It sounded OK. The first problem when I got it out of the packet was in much smaller writing it said cheesy mash (abomination). Oh well, no doubt the parsley sauce would mask it. I can’t remember struggling so much with a meal in a long time. Not pleasant eating at all though the veg an the parsley sauce were OK. I struggled and won.

When the film started there were some very good names there and quite a few British actors I knew. Before long I had to turn it off. If you’re going to have an Irish accent, why not have it delivered by an Irishman. There are plenty of great Irish actors around, Liam Neeson, Gabriele Byrne. The only acting I saw was from Lady Olivier or Dame Joan Plowright as she is in her own right. Uppercrust British, she can do the job blindfolded. The film was a torment. On top of that lunch it was nauseating. I came back to work. The afternoon was just a steady progression from one post to the next between the two addresses, nothing strenuous, nothing odd and nothing else remotely crooked. At 6.00 pm I broke off to have some tea and noticed a film at 9.00 pm that looked appealing. It’s rare for me to spend time with a full film, indeed it’s rare to be able to prise me away from the computer for that long but I’ve booked myself a seat mail permitting. So straight after tea back I came, and on I went.I knocked off again at 8.55 pm and took my seat in the auditorium ready for the curtains to open. I’m not going to show my age by mentioning an organ that came up from the depths and played us in.

The film was called Hansel and Gretel. OK, I wasn’t expecting a fairy story at this time of night but it sort of started off like that with the kids being abandoned in the forest. I’m no prude but I was jarred a bit at the ‘F’ word as it seemed inappropriate given the times and the costumes. Having said that, I wonder if this is the steampunk. I hear about after seeing the weaponry. There was no holding back on the violence or the gore though one scene brightened when a woman walked into a pool naked as a jay bird, naturally I didn’t look. Well. not after the first couple of times anyway. In the end maybe I should have shown a bit more patience as I turned off at 10.00 pm. It just didn’t grip me, hold my interest, make me smile or laugh.Frankly I was bored. It gave me chance to come and catch up further on my mail.

Tomorrow is an anniversary for me and I may need to take the day off. There’s no point really in my telling you this a week late but if anyone was affected and found me rude, perhaps you’ll understand now.

Monday.

In memory of my beautiful wife who left this life 2 years ago today I decided to take a day off. I did still want to leave you with some music though. So……..

Tuesday.

I got to bed by 11.15 pm last night.I’d done nothing but was exhausted anyway. So, I read until 12.10 am and at the end of a chapter turned the light out. I should really have been reading a ‘Hornblower’  book as the storm was raging and a gale was blowing outside. I’m not sure how long it took me to get to sleep but when I awoke ‘hours’ later it was 12.50 am. No way did I intend to get up but my bladder said I should so I nipped to the loo and back and tried again. Still nothing doing so I sat on the edge of the bed enjoying a cigarette and rubbing cream into my ankle to try and make it feel less like rhino skin. Once again I tried but still no joy.  Eventually at 2.00 am I put my dressing gown on and went to sit in my chair in the lounge. I didn’t turn the light on as there’s a street lamp not too far from the window that just allows enough diffused light in to make things out without seeing them clearly. Not enough to disturb me should I nod off. And in Ju’s company nod off I did. It must have been for about ten minutes until the click of the timer turned a lamp on to discourage burglars. I tried again and managed to fall asleep once more. At some point I woke up and went back to bed where I found myself when I awoke for the last time at 5.28 am. The rain was still coming down and the wind still howling.

There was a small temptation to stay where I was and enjoy another day of freedom but I persuaded myself not to be lazy and got up to turn the computer on. While it powered up I went to the tinkle factory. I won’t be winning awards anytime soon unless it’s for the person who takes the longest. By the time I got back they’d just announced Windows 23. I signed in and started on the mail. I was doing really well with it before I came across a friend’s latest post where it seems some parts of her beliefs were very relevant to my Buthidars site. I started pinching bits to share in a new post. There seemed to be plenty of things to comment on today as well. at 7.15 am knowing I was late I went through to the kitchen. The morning was so grim and dull I had to turn the main light on as well as the tank lights. At the first sign of movement Big Al was there casting dirty looks in my direction. I know he disapproved of my tardiness and I’m sure he may have been a Victorian schoolmaster in a previous life and still wishes he had a cane. Anyhoo, Pepper came up to join him in the queue for food and was gently barging him in what seemed like play. As I opened he feeding flap I saw Bonzo arrive, little Al heading my direction and Harold was speeding in from the other side. As he came, a complete stem of weed floated up from where he’d just been and joined 2 others at the top of the tank. At least I now know  who’s responsible for all the uprooting I’m seeing. I’m going to get a wet and cold arm replacing the plants for him to do it again. I fed them, listened to the faint cheers (sarcastic and derisory) and left to take my meds.

After the meds were taken I had a cigarette to time things and then had some breakfast. A little grapefruit and some cold toast slathered in butter. I washed the pots, made a coffee and took it back to my room. Something started buzzing in the back of my mind to do with grapefruit. I carried on working in the hopes it would come to me naturally. It did. Something to do with my drugs. I had to check and found two of my tabs have grapefruit as contra-indications, stay away from grapefruit as one put it. Just an Oops warning I think, I wasn’t about to explode and neither were my bowels which was something that worried me. I was safe. I had no need to go out today and indeed the new warden may call, so I was able to carry on working most of the morning. I knocked off at about 11.00 am and returned to my chair in the lounge. The gale outside was playing games with a wheelie bin so the constant banging of the lid on the base made sure I couldn’t sleep but at least I lay here relaxed until 11.45 am when I went through to see about lunch. pre-foodie tab, butter some bread, work hard at perforating the plastic lid then bung my masterpiece in the micro to cook. Cottage pie today. I ate my meal while watching Bargain Hunt today and then washed up for the second time today.

Back to work and a bit of catch up to be done since I’d been away two hours.  There’s nothing specific I think on TV today so I can stay where I am until this pressure sore bursts out. Sometime I’ll have to find a suitable song for tonight. Maybe I’ll have youtube on while I’m working soon and look or inspiration.  I was concentrating on a comment someone had made on my blog this afternoon when I could hear this faint sound in the background. Musical but in a bing-bong kind of way I looked up and saw a message on screen saying my Brother in Law (half of Mujo) was ringing me on Skype. Neither of us have been able to get the other for a long time but this morning I’d had an incoming call from someone I didn’t know and while I was in blocking it I’d done a search and found John was on 3 times. I got rid of the one I had and chose the last one. That seems to have done the trick. Yesterday I’d had a text letting me know they were both ill, and to hear him cough there was no doubting it. They hope to be well enough to be through on Thursday but if not then next week. Usually I’m invisible on Skype and John is the only person I’ve spoken to on it in years. Well, about 3 years anyway. I least I don’t stutter talking to him. We were chatting about antiques but I couldn’t say much as his birthday is approaching and he almost is one. Once the call was over I reinstated my cloak of invisibility and worked on until 5.15 pm when I went to have a look at Pointless and what should have been two episodes of Big Bang Theory but was only one and a bit Zzzzzzz. I came back through after the music at the end credits woke me up and started again. I have something finishing on bay at 11.36 pm so I thought I might as well be here till then and lessen the load for the morning. I won the ebay lot so time was getting on by the time I paid for it. Bed at midnight.

Wednesday.

Moan, moan, groan. What a night again. To bed at midnight. Light off at 12.45 am(ish) an up again at 1.50 am.A trip to the loo in case my bladder’s squawking woke me but no, it hadn’t. A cigarette to relax and back into bed. Sleep comes eventually but awake again at 3.20 am. I went to sit in my chair in the lounge to see if I’d be more comfortable and woke at 4.51 am. It was time to get up as there was no more sleep in me. I wandered back through to the  bedroom and fired up the computer.                          No big win on the Eurolottery despite convincing myself that it was my turn this week. I blame the small gods and their sense of direction for this since it was someone in the UK who won £53m  Good luck to them.

I turned to my emails. Not too many left from last night but they took a little time to deal with . I was on today’s messages a little after 6.00 am and working my way through them steadily. There were three people who liked my last blog who I don’t know so I had to check their blogs and posts out. I felt really sorry for one person who is a committed Christian and gay since his Church have tried to exclude him and his family, the ones you rely on for love and support have also excluded him. How he kept his faith I’ll never know. From my own point of view, Why he kept his faith I’ll never know since it seems that acceptance of his sexual orientation or preferences is much more likely to happen in the world of those who don’t believe in god but do believe in the tolerance of others. There was also an email from the amazing Chris, The Story Reading Ape with a series of Did You Know facts that was really entertaining. I have to say that some of my friends, colleagues, acquaintances and Who did you say? Are some of the most amazing, selfless people in the world. Chris, Sally,Olga,Kim, Jo,Ailsa, Colleen,Viv, Suzanne, Rosie and many others, spend so much time supporting authors in one way or another with interview, guest posts or just cover reveals as well as dealing with their own books , blogs and promotions. Thank you kind people on behalf of us all. If there’s anyone whose name I didn’t include, it isn’t because I don’t love you or haven’t noticed what you do, it’s just that I could fill a blog with thanks if I didn’t draw the line at some point.

At 7.00 am I went through to the kitchen and turned on the tank light. I saw Harold before he had chance to disappear so was happy about that. On April 1st you don’t want to be fooled again.I fed them some of their older treats this morning but Big Al turned his back and went off to a corner. Pepper had a good chomp before he went too. Little Al and his midget pal Bonzo carried on grazing. Those two also seem to react a bit to my voice, coming closer when I speak but maybe I speak about the wrong things as they soon beggar off again. I took a pre -foodie tab and put some bread in the toaster which I could allow to go cold. Then I took my sprays and the rest of the morning meds before smoking a ‘Timer’ ( a cigarette is about the right length of time to wait between pre-foodie tab and actually eating, not that I need an excuse to smoke). Slathering butter on my toast and eating it was wonderful. I like my slightly salted butter too which gives it all more flavour.                                                                                                 The wind/gale seems to have dropped this morning and it looks dry outside so I dressed just before 9.00 am and took a birthday card to be posted before calling in at Pauline’s for my TV magazine and some fresh bread plus a birthday card for one coming up this month. Back at home I unpacked then started back on the mail. It kept me going through the morning until 11.30 am when I broke off ready to get lunch.

I ate while watching Murder She Wrote. Screaming “Look out behind you” with a mouthful of corned beef hash is not a great idea. Anyway she never listens. I really wanted to nod off afterwards but didn’t as I needed to be as clear as possible before games night. I came back to my room and caught up with my main address ( without refreshing) then signed into my gmail address to find 163. Ouch. I was answering some mail from a friend who gave me a probably well deserved telling off after a remark about the play being improved if I walked off the stage. I did say it was just my opinion but she sent a virtual Australian clout in my direction. I’m chastened. It stung.I read a post that took me in about fox cubs being trained as guide dogs and fell for it hook line and sinker. I only hoped as it was after noon, the ‘Fool’ bit wouldn’t count though I did feel a right prat. I’d have felt the left one too if it had been there. Thanks Sally, I owe you !!!! I just took it easy all afternoon until 5.00 pm when I knocked off to answer the door to the chemist’s delivery man. His timing was perfect as I’d just noticed one of my sprays in the red zone. I really felt sorry for him too as he’d been caught in yet another very heavy shower. As he left there was a text from Lee to say he couldn’t make it tonight which was a real shame. I’d just sat down in the lounge after answering and I saw Dil and Matt coming along the path. It was just 5.10 pm , they’re getting earlier every week trying to catch me kipping so they can complain I’m not in the kitchen doing their drinks. They were actually able to see the quiz they like all the way through.

At 6.00 pm as the TV went off  Dil unfolded the games table and I brought over some games. We ended up playing Yahtzee first. I think least said, soonest mended as far as that goes. I was humiliated enough then without repeating it now. Then we had two games of Balderdash. My skills were to the fore in the first game and I romped home. In the second game I started well and had a decent lead so I was lulled into a false sense of security. All of a sudden Dil was past me and home. He couldn’t get one wrong. I think even Matt ended up ahead of me. Finally we had time for a game of Crazy 8’s, I don’t know why I bothered. They were on form and had me for a 14 card pick-up twice. In the last hand alone I was caught with 140 points which took me way over. It’ll b days before I can hold my head up and that’s when I’ve forgotten I lost and start thinking I had a good night. After they left at 9.30pm in the pouring rain, and I locked the front door, I tidied up and washed the pots then took my meds before coming through. It was almost 10.00 pm and you’d all been far too busy. I’m sure you increase pace when you know I’m out of the way. Anyway there’s a lot so I’ve started the blog at 10.30 pm and it’s almost 11.30 pm now so I can probably manage another half hour with the mail.

     Classic Motown from 1971.

Thursday.

Things went to pot last night but I’m sort of glad. I did my usual of recent times and worked till just midnight to allow myself time for a read. Lights off at 1.00 pm or Matron comes round and tells me off ( I wish). Sleep didn’t come easy because my damned ankle was itching like mad so I had to get up and apply some cream. Eventually it cooled enough for me to nod off but I woke again just after 2.00 am then again at almost 3.30 am. I almost gave up but being perverse I decided to try in the front room. For a change I thought I’d try the chair I normally sit in to play cards which is Mike’s chair when he’s here.( No Mike. I’m not paying rent since when you’re here I don’t touch it). This clever move on my part ( pre-planned of course) must have bamboozled the small gods- especially Porcinus bless him, it doesn’t take much- since I woke up in place at 7.34 am. That’s almost like a normal night’s sleep for most people. I can’t remember such a late start. Unfortunately Big Al can and he was most definitely dischuffed with me this morning. The evil eye was in play and followed me round the room even when I didn’t move. I was so nervous I just dropped half a tub of food in and ran. Then I came back to take the lid off in case he cursed me. Once I’d counted my fingers I wished them all good morning and left to take my meds.

After the meds I made a coffee to take back with me and sat making a start on last night’s emails of which there were still a few. When I next looked at the clock it was 9.25 am and since I had no idea what time MuJo were arriving I stopped work to get washed and dressed. I even slapped a bit of water on my bonce to see if I could get rid of bedhead where one side lies down and the other sticks up. Once done I returned to work and started on today’s mail. I was able to work until 10.45 am when MuJo arrived. I sorted drinks and we sat and chatted a while, well Mu and I chatted while John coughed. Nope, no gold watches. For once the day was pretty much decided. They wanted the chippy in town and a couple of shops John likes. I also reminded him it was Market Day and he could have batteries put in the two watches he’s had in the car since before Christmas. When we arrived in town that was the first thing we did followed by lunch where I found I’d come out without any tabs. Never mind, I said I’d have some at tea time about 6.00 pm. After lunch we visited John’s shops without buying anything this visit then we had a ride to Flint. Muriel wanted Aldi so I used the opportunity to get some flowers for Ju and some chocolates for Temptations. Mu got what she needed and the next stop was Temptations which was good since I think I swallowed the contents of the budgie’s cage and I don’t even have a budgie. Mu and John both wanted a cold drink from the cool shelves and what a nice surprise when I got there than to find Ceri on her knees. ( Behave now!) I gave in to the temptation to give her a sws (kiss) on her forehead and help her up.

Wiping the drool from my chin and remembering I’m nearly twice her age I went to order my coffee and hand over the chocolates. I think coffee was an error considering I was thirsty but in the next shop I was able to get a small bottle of Pepsi Max to keep in my pocket. MuJo were searching for something special in material to run down behind and above he four poster. Unsuccessful we did one more shop together to try but without any luck. John went to sit on the car while Mu and I looked in one more place where I thought I’d found the ideal thing but Mu’s eyes just told me I have no taste. We drove back to my place and arrived there just after 4.30 pm. John needed a drink and Mu went out for lottery tickets. It was just before 5.00 pm when I waved them off. As I got in the house I was opening my mail page as I was trying to get my shoes off with the other hand. Six and a quarter hours without a computer, OMG How much mail can com through in that time? Aaaarrrggghhhh, I just found out. I need two computers so I can answer double the mails in the same time. They won’t make sense but really, this is me so who’ll notice? They will think I’m asleep again. I could only work until 6.15 pm before going to take a pre- foodie and get something to eat. Pork pie, bread and butter and a slice of strawberry and rhubarb tart that must have jumped into my basket at Aldi. Unfortunately the Big Bang Theory was on while I ate and it would have been rude not to stay to the end so I didn’t resume work until 7.00 pm. Then I remembered it’s Thursday and the new episode is on at 8.30 pm followed by a new episode of a police comedy I like. I just had to…….

At half past eight I slunk guiltily out of my room and went to the lounge, sank into my chair and turned TV back on. Both episodes were fantastic and I was glad I hadn’t missed them. At half past nine I slunk even more guiltily back into my room an tried to resume work a though I’d never been away. My computer wasn’t having any of that and automatically refreshed with a snigger. By the time I came round again…….                                                                                                                                                                                           ! “Come on, you can do this” I tried telling myself, and I tried, but between distractions like thinking spiders were crawling up my leg and countless typos I was just getting further behind. At 10.30 pm I excused myself and started on this blog as any excess mail could wait until tomorrow morning but I need to try and get out tomorrow for a while and then Saturday is like today-BAD. So it’s 11.25 pm now and maybe I’d better try for a little bit longer.                                                                                                                               Tonight a real blast from the past, hope you know it.

or

Friday.

I only survived until 12.15 am before I had to go to bed. Naturally I had to read for a while to refocus the grasshoprer brain but I shut the book and turned the light off at 1.00 am. The brain started up straight away, and no matter how much I thought about something the brain insisted on returning to it. Even now I’m not sure if my subconscious was giving me the chance to correct an error or whether I was just stuck on repeat like the old record players used to do. I remember driving my parents crazy by lifting the arm so ‘I got you babe’ by Sonny and Cher would repeat. At some stage I dropped of only to wake up or be woken up at 2.10 am. After a cigarette I was able to relax back into sleep again until 2.52 am. I refused to give in and achieved sleep again without having to first get out of bed. When I next woke at 3.47 am I knew it was time to get up. I couldn’t really object as I’d been given a treat yesterday morning. The small gods must get their way sometimes. Well most all the time actually.

I paid a visit to the country of the Loo Bloo Waterfall then came back and signed on. I was rather horrified when I saw how many emails I’d left from yesterday. Still, I had no choice but to start working to clear them though there was a temptation to ring in sick. I worked until I’d finished yesterday’s which was almost 6.15 am then decided it was a natural break to go feed the fish. I put the kitchen light on and then the tank light. Only Little Al was there ready for breakfast.I was a little earlier than usual. But something was wrong with the tank and I couldn’t figure out what. I combined trying to find the others with trying to see what was jarring me. I was halfway along the tank when my heart sunk, an angel fish dead behind the bubble wall, no it looked like 2. Just a bloody minute, I don’t have any angel fish I don’t like the nasty little beggars. I worked it out at last. The Loki half of MuJo had been at the tank while I was out of the room yesterday. He’d added to the tank three plastic fish from his old bubble tube. He must have delighted in the fact I hadn’t seen them yesterday.

 

Once I’d recovered, I left Big Al, Little Al and Pepper enjoying breakfast and went to take my meds. I thought I’d have breakfast this morning so once I’d taken a pre-foodie  I put two slices of bread in the toaster and took my other tabs. Then being Friday and the day I need to do my meds for the week again so I went through to the lounge for my meds drawer. Once done I took the now cold toast from the toaster , cut it and buttered it. As I stood eating, the machine was making me a latte. Once I’d finished I took my post-foodie tablets and made my way my room.  A few days ago I’d had a google+ message that someone had followed me. Let’s call her Marie (cos’ that’s her name). As I always do I went through to see if it was a fellow author, though obviously I’m slightly more flexible than only to join up with you reprobates. There was nothing to indicate what she did or any posts but there was a picture of a woman in be with an oxygen mask on. My immediate thought was that she may be lonely (and desperate) if she was long term ill so I followed her back. Today there was a message from google + that she had started a conversation with me, would I like to see. ( Obviously) so I took a look. What appeared was one of those rambling letters from a woman in Africa (where else) whose husband had died 2 years ago in a helicopter crash in France ( link supplied). Never had children, she’s dying from cancer, £6m+ in a bank which I can have 40% of if I make sure the other 60% is used for charitable purposes as they want. I wold normally laugh this off as I tell you what an obvious con it is but this time I thought how nasty these people are, using the picture of an obviously ill woman, and giving a link to an obvious tragedy which then impinges on someone’s grief. These individuals are not funny at all to do this.

I carried on working all morning with just a break to get washed and dressed and pay a visit to Pauline’s to renew my lottery tickets. I wasn’t out for long and was soon back behind my desk working. Towards the end of the session before I broke off for lunch I received another email, this time one of my old favourites. Notice the similarity in helicopter crashes?

Dear Sir/ Madam

My name is Mr. Phalli Sang Sotoku a Business Manager with Mega International commercial bank here in Asia. As the accounts officer to late Mr. Lam Kok who died in a helicopter crash in France while inspecting one of the new acquisition.

You can follow the link to know more about our deceased customer: www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-25476662

In accordance with the es-cheat laws as a kingdom nation, the Board of Directors of the bank met forth night ago and resolved to turn the estate of the deceased over to Government pause having waited for too long without the deceased relatives/next of kin surfacing property and if this is done, invariably, the funds will end up to become Government property.

I have the opportunity of making you the beneficiary to the deposited funds with our bank, i have all the details and required information to make you the beneficiary to the funds, get back to me with your intent consideration to handle this project on my behalf

Looking forward to hear from you. You can also feel free to reach me on my private mail box[PhallaSS@outlook.com].

Yours Sincerely

Mr. Phalli Sang Sotoku

I’m hoping that no-one sees either of today’s cons and thinks there’s anything in it for them. I made myself a shepherd’s pie for lunch, had a piece of suicidal strawberry and rhubarb tart and made my way back to work. I was running approximately 4 hours behind all the time and couldn’t seem to catch up. Oh how I cursed you all so if you wake up with furry feet tomorrow you know whose fault it is and maybe you won’t spend tomorrow writing while I’m out, thus saving me a headache when I get back Despite the backlog I had to stop at 5.00 pm for a break or I may just have nodded off. The TV schedule has changed a lot for the holiday weekend so I found a quiz to watch while I sat with another piece of my pie. Once I’d washed up I didn’t fancy much of what was on and didn’t want to start a film so I watched a couple of Big Bang Theory repeats so I returned to work smiling.

It took a while before I thought I was gaining on the backlog but bit by bit I clawed my way up the ladder. When I got there I knew it would be “Look at me Ma, I’m on top of the World Ma.” At least until some sneaky beggar writes another post. Bu at least I was feeling  a little more confident about tomorrow now, and with luck I won’t be out too long. As they can’t take me next week maybe I should buy extra tomorrow so I don’t have to leave the house except to get milk and bread at Pauline’s. I want to be one of those hermits where they drop food off outside my cave though I would pay for it. But, if I wasn’t going out, I couldn’t get cash so everything would have to be paid by cheque. Oh well, I could always claim I’d been asked for an autograph. By 11.00 pm I was up to date woo hoo, and rather than tempt myself later I closed the email down to concentrate on this. It’s now 12.02 pm and I’m off to bed.

Most countries will have had a version of this song but I’m going for the home version rather than the International one. I hope you enjoy it.

Saturday.

Well , I was in bed ‘toot sweet’ last night whn I closed the computer and ready for a couple of chapters of my book. I think once I finish this I may re-read all my early Pratchett’s again. My light went off just before 1.00 am and since I’d paid a visit before climbing into bed there should be no excuse to wake for that. Despite that I still woke at 1.40 pm and struggled to get off again. When I woke the next time I felt I’d had a good sleep and was ready to start work so I was more than a little surprised to find it was 2.22 am. Oh well, I thought, there’s plenty of time to go back to bed if I get tired and virtually all I have to do is fall off my chair. Had any of you been listening closely though I may have been heard muttering about the legitimacy of a certain 3 brothers. If one of the small gods decides to furnish me with copies of birth certificates next visit I could have some apologising to do. I’ve said it before that getting up this early can be a pain but can also be a great help on a Saturday in making sure I’m more or less up to date before going out. Today I logged in and found an early start maybe wasn’t too bad, not that I’ll ever repeat that to Somnos of course.

It took me until 6.00 am to clear up till 4.30 am’s post and then I could see a few deletions were coming my way so I took it as a natural break. I’m not sure why I chose to go at that moment as I wasn’t due to be screaming down Mike’s  ear that his coffee was ready. Since he’s still in Canada I’d need lungs like Dolly Parton’s. As I turned the tank light on in he kitchen Little Al was circling in place below the hatch like he’d not been fed this week. Fortunately my memory is better than his. I was in the process of sprinkling some food in when Bonzo and Pepper swam in. Almost a minute later Big Al appeared, taking his time and looking quite cross at me as though I ”d disturbed his sleep. Considering it’ s the same place Pepper came from I’m wondering what I had disturbed. Since they’re both Corys it wouldn’t surprise me but my friend Andrea (sigh) wondered what the combination might be as in Ligers/Tigons so my choices are either Pepals or Alpeps. No sign of Harold but he’s probably having a lie-in again. Leaving the fish I went to take my tabs. This week they changed the size of one from miniscule to horse tablet size so I’ve no idea whether it can go down with the bulk as usual or whether it’s another I need to take solo. As it happened it went down in bulk still so I have only two solo’s to take. I did that then made a coffee to bring back. I left kt on the desk while I concentrated on getting dressed.

When I was ready, I had my coffee, checked my ebay and then sis a little more work. At about 8.00 am I had a text from Yvonne to say they hoped to be leaving in about 15 minutes to pick me up but to remember traffic problems with road repairs. At 8.15 am another text to say ‘Left on time, Yay.” Knowing I had until about 9.00 pm I got the rubbish ready to put out and did so. Now I was free to work again. I was really doing quite well but time was getting on, a third text to tell me they were at the top of the hill came as a surprise. I left everything and got my coat on with bags at the ready. A few minutes later at 8.55 am they arrived. I was outside waiting. Firstly I had to listen to Reuben say ham and cheese….about 200 times before he said Hi Pops. Yvonne and Ugo ignored me as usual. They took me to Asda to do the bulk of my shopping. For the second week running I forgot my disabled parking card but Ugo managed to park quite close by so not too bad. I got my cash from the machine wile Yvonne grabbed a trolley and we went in. Ugo was going to follow behind us with Reuben. Potatoes first today and then because I bought flowers with MuJo on Thursday I didn’t need more today. It was straight on with the shopping. We were sharing the trolley again so I was trying to keep my stuff together out of their way. Every once in a while she would put something in her half and I’d decide I’d treat them to it and sneak it over. My daughter is a very argumentative person I find. We heard the sound of a siren, Oops, No. That was Reuben not wanting to let go of a toy.Yvonne decided he should have it for Easter instead of yet more chocolate and he was quiet again.That may need to be nipped in the bud though before he becomes a master manipulator. I don’t want the competition.

We finally finished going round and went for a coffee in MaDonald’s where Ugo demolished a couple of burgers and fries and even Reuben had a bit.When we’d done there they took me to Lidl to see if there was a special still available which was on just Yesterday and today. I was lucky , there were some left. Yvonne did  her main shop there and I managed to get them a few more treats.  I was thinking of putting them kin her trolley when we reached the till for a joke but I know she’d never let me pay for them so I didn’t. The moaning wasn’t any less but at least it was fait accompli. All done they ran me home and I made sure she had a tassimo cleaning tablet and their Easter eggs before they left. She left me loads of sweets for Easter from them all. Once they’d gone I started unpacking. The air was blue. My fridge is so small as to be fairly useless and I was using a show horn to lever things in. Finally it was done. Now it was lunch time and I had to see that through before anything else. It was nearly 2.00 pm before I was finally able to come through to work. By which time I was almost too scared to bother. With very good reason too. But, I girded my lions ( I used brasso and their manes came up a lovely colour) and put my grind to the nose stone and soon enough I could see results. One thing I noticed early on. While you lot were staying in and writing instead of enjoying the sunshine, all the women who propose to me have gone on holiday. Either that or it’s time for a bath. That in itself presents a problem as I only have a shower here though I could have a strip wash in the sink if Mike hadn’t told me I’d fall out. He said I should never have taken up tap dancing. Boom Boom.

Time just passed in a flash so I got dressed again and at 6.00 pm went through to turn the tank light off and to have some tea. I confess I couldn’t be bothered making anything so I had two doughnuts , it tasted like diabetic jam so I didn’t feel too bad.I watched TV for half n hour but had to stop because my eyes were getting ready to close. I don’t mind them doing that but I’d rather it was after I catch up. By 8.15 pm I had caught up and was so relieved. I could keep pace with things as they came in now, and then a little later could concentrate on the blog so it was ready for midnight. And that’s what I did.And now I’m off to bed. I have a treat for you all on Tuesday.

By special request of Suzanne Joshi another Cole Porter song but this time by a much more recognisable name.

The Easter Bunny?

Music Maestro

 

Big Al F-f-forgets Himself & Stamped On.

Sunday 23rd of November.

A relatively late night followed by a relatively late morning leaves me quite tired today. I’m ready to fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I’m wishing I lived at a milliners in the middle of an earthquake. It was all of 4.40 am this morning when I got up. I could hear the rain outside and feel the general chill, you just knew it was Winter with it’s hand on the helm now. Slippers and dressing gown on, I leaned down to turn the computer on before heading to recreate scenes from Niagara Falls.                      All was ready for me when I got back so it was just a case of signing in when I sat at the desk. Surprisingly there weren’t too many messages waiting this morning so  I was able to take my time and savour them.  Before 7.00 am I’d caught up, refreshed and caught up again. I was feeling quite pleased with myself as I headed to the kitchen to see to the fish.

I switched the tank light on and prepared to feed them. All of them were in sight. Two of the plecs were lying quite still atop a Greek amphora which lay on it’s side the contents dispersed centuries ago. The third plec, the smallest of them was taking his life in his fins by climbing all over Big Al who didn’t move a muscle. Sharkey was making a nuisance of himself by harassing Little Al while Morecambe and Wise hovered near the feeding flap of the lid. Some flake went in and the two fighters chased it round pecking at small bits of it. The pellets were like hail on top of Big Al.but still he didn’t move though it did move the plec off his back. My responsibility was over and I didn’t want to see Big Al teach anyone a lesson, even if that lesson is that really he’s a pussycat. I turned away and took my meds.

My coffee came with me back to work.The pace of work coming in was slightly worse than my ability to deal with it (except by bunging it all in the bin) but it wasn’t so bad at that point that it was running away with me. Of course there were further delays when I had to be treated by a cardiac unit when Mike got up at 9.10 am without using his alarm. I knew it was him though when a gravelly voice uttered the word “Coffee” in such a plaintive way. How could I refuse? I made myself one too and joined him in  the lounge. Lisa, his daughter, my niece was due between 10.00 am and 11.00 am so I was trying hard to encourage him to get dressed. He is not a vision to be faced in a morning as I’m sure any of his ladies will attest to. It was towards the latter end of that time she arrived but luckily he’d clothed himself by then. I haven’t seen Lisa for a while and was surprised at the degree of pregnancy, her stomach almost matched her father’s ( OK, OK and mine). It hits home that she’s less than two weeks to go before the baby is due. I hope they’re not going for a curry today.

Once Lisa had had a cup of tea they left to go and collect Mike’s Dad and head over to wherever they were eating. I didn’t regret turning the invitation down as I’ve been exposed to the heat of all those candles on Mike’s birthday cakes before. I’m not keen on crowded events as you know and with Mike’s candles there, well….        As soon as they left me I flew back to the computer. It had been having fun while I was away and both mailboxes were choc a block I had to start weeding out the garbage to know where I stood. By noon one box was empty and I had 35 in the main one. It was time for lunch. I took my pre-food tablet lit  cigarette and settled until it was time to put the microwave on. I had food by 12.15 pm. As beef dinners go it wasn’t yesterday but it was passable. Rhubarb tart and custard to follow. I intended to do without my usual sleep so came though and managed one or two messages before I nodded off over the keyboard. I don’t appear to have carried on writing.

I was back by 2.00 pm though not fully compost mental so I promised myself a break as soon as I caught up. Somehow I managed that by 4.30 pm and left the room fully intending to nod off in my chair. I turned on the TV and got wrapped up in the film Bagger Vance. About 5.30 pm it finished and I came back in here to see what I’d missed. Far too much, but I had times as Mike and Lisa didn’t arrive back until about 7.15 pm. We sat and chatted for a while before Lisa picked up her own car and left to see her mother. Mike let me come back to work until 9.00 pm when there was a film on I said I’d watch with him. Damn ! Me and my mouth. I still had over 50 messages to go when he called me. The film was Green Hornet and I might have enjoyed it had it not been for the actor playing Green Hornet himself. I know it was billed as a comedy but he didn’t make me laugh. It was more cringe. Anyway, I was glad when 11.20 pm came and I could escape. I decided to do the blog now and leave the accumulate mail for tomorrow. When Mike leaves I’ll be able to scream in secrecy.

 

 

Reuben’s One Lump or Two injury from walking into a gate.

Monday.

I was treated today to a lie in of epic standards. 5.51 am I rose at and didn’t I feel cocky, though maybe I should rephrase that. With a quick visit to the loo out of the way I was seated at the computer for 6.00 am. That was when I realised there was a heavy price to pay for the extra time in slumber. Ouch. Still. I knew I’d all day to catch up.  My first stint took me to 7.00 am when I headed for the kitchen. Halfway there Mike’s alarm went off. I’d no idea whether it was by accident or design and he hadn’t mentioned having to be in Manchester before the 11.00 am he’s mentioned to me previously. Just in case, I put the kettle on then went straight to deal with the fish. I’m wondering if the tails of Morecambe and Wise are hypnotising Big Al or like a human watching a fish tank, just leaving him very relaxed. He seems very chilled at the moment and hasn’t glared at me for a couple of days now. Sharkey was chasing the smaller plecs and Little Al for getting to near whatever treasure he’s protecting. There’s no point in him going for Big Al or the big plec as he just comes to a dead stop against them and neither flinch. I put food in the tank and went about my business.

The meds were taken care of. The kettle had boiled and any repeat of the alarm quickly been dealt with so I just made my own coffee and went back to work. It was a case of drip, drip, drip like water on a stone, wearing away at the bulk. Luckily I seemed to be more than keeping pace with more incoming mail. I’m touching wood while I mention this but I don’t seem to have any mail from demented naked ladies, no proposals of marriage, no offers to read my future and best of all, no offers of a fortune from Africa. When I reached 8.00 am I was feeling quite hopeful. I reboiled the kettle and made Mike a drink which I took through. I told him in a very loud voice “Coffee up” and when I though I had his attention reminded him that Pauline was due in for 8.30 am and I needed him at least partly clothed above the pyjama trousers. I had no idea whether I got through to him or not but with a departing “Don’t forget the coffee” I left. Fair play by 8.25 am he was out of the bedroom, mainly clothed and had brought his coffee in to here to sit on the bed while I tried to work.

8.30 am  came and went as did 9.00 am.No sign of Pauline. I asked Mike to check the phone which he did but reminded me that I hadn’t left the house yesterday or this morning. There was definitely nothing from Saturday either. I’m left to assume she’s not coming again.  Mike made moves to start his journey at 9.45 am and I left the house at the same time he did to take my prescription request in. It didn’t take very long but while out I accidentally fell into the sandwich shop and found a bacon bap in my hand. Oops. When I got home I took a pre-food tablet and enjoyed myself. Late morning I had a text from Lis to see if I was free. I said of course I was and she came down about 11.00 am as she’d been in town anyway. It’s always a delight to see her and we had a great natter.I passed her a book I’d had waiting for her on recording family history and she seemed pleased. At the end of the week she’s going to see Charley so I asked her to carry my love.She left about midday and I was sorry to see her go but loved the hugs and kiss I got as compensation.  At 12.15 pm I  decided to take my normal break though I didn’t need lunch of course. By normal I do mean I fell asleep in the chair again before the end of the programme and didn’t wake until 1.30 pm. It was back to work then and the price I paid was I couldn’t catch up until almost 4.30 pm. At 4.45 pm I went through and took my next pre-food tablet then sat down with some chip baps and the most minute piece of BFG left by Mike ever. With the use of a good magnifying glass I managed to find it. I stayed until 6.30 pm after Eggheads.

Work has been steady since I came back through. Nothing too tedious but nothing allowing long breaks either. I’m fairly sure I could get an early night ready for my outing tomorrow but I’m not sure I want too much of a build up to add to that which I’ll miss in the morning. I may just pop back there now to see if I can clear a little more.

I’m not doin’ tricks till you feed me.

Wanna Play?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday.

I’m  wondering if Somnos lost me in a bet to one of the older more sadistic gods or whether his more ‘Impish’ side is showing today. It must have been approaching 1.00 pm by the time I’d finished faffing last night and had the shortest of reads but there we were at 3.11 am and wide awake again. There appeared to be no point in complaining since either the older god had turned his hearing aids off or Somnos had skipped merrily off to his next little venture. Even the bloody sandman hadn’t had time to get round and I was sincerely hoping he didn’t since the eyes were now wide open. There was a good side to all this of course and that was I’d be able to leave the house with very little post undone with any luck. I turned the computer on as I passed on my way to the loo.

When I came back I tried to log in to the bank but even that wouldn’t oblige today and suggested I try later. OK, I signed into my main email account. Hm. only 57, should be able to knock that out of play quite easily. I made a start. No obvious bad ones to get rid of immediately but there were some advertising Black Friday specials that I wasn’t able to stop myself looking at. At that point I’m typing with my fingers crossed that I don’t find one of the Christmas presents I just bought at half price. That would spoil my day completely. I finished the mail in that box and opened the secondary account . There were less in there and by 5.30 am juggling them, I was clear in both. There was no point in seeing to the fish at that time so I decided top get washed and dressed ( based on the predicted weather for today) and have a sit in the lounge. I’d no sooner sat down that that sneaky beggar zonked me again. It was 6.45 am when I next opened my eyes. The sandman had been so maybe he’s brought the unions in against Somnos.

Since I had to have my meds before going out I went through and fed the fish, ignored their antics ( I’m sure Big Al called me a rude name as I turned away) took my meds and made a drink. As usual the drink came with me back to the desk and as I drank it I was able to catch up again. I was very impressed. Whoever the goddess of emails is I owed her one for that. There was just time to take my cup through to soak, get my coat on and get my bag ready to take. I stepped outside the front door and I suppose you could call it fresh. Fresh from the Arctic I think. My fingers stuck to the key as I tried to turn it in the lock but I managed to get away with a few ouches.  I went out through the tunnel to the main road and crossed over. I’d not taken above a dozen steps when the Saint driving the bus pulled up beside me to save me a walk. And it is a walk to the bus stop believe me. I was really grateful. The bus was freezing having just come out of the depot and when we drew up at the stop for someone else to get on, an iceberg must have drawn up close by as it got colder the moment the door was opened. We were three quarters of the way to Chester when we stopped shivering and the heat from the engine penetrated the cold. I chipped the icicles off my nose and prepared to get off.

Yvonne and Reuben arrived a minute or so after me and we took a walk round a nearby shop while we waited for the shop with out cafe to open. When we went back the cafe wasn’t open yet so we had a look round the clothes. Half an hour later the cafe still wasn’t open so we set off elsewhere and ended up in BHS (British Home Stores) where I had a bacon toastie ( under protest) while Yvonne had some breakfast and fed Reuben. Unfortunately as I passed my bag to Yvonne for the gifts that were inside it ( a new dress for her and some mini cereals for Reuben ) he saw some chocolate I’d bought earlier and the recognition was instant. Though breakfast was almost eaten from that point on he wanted no more and pointed at the chocolate. Then the siren started and much as it pains us to give in, we did. All went quiet, such bliss. We packed up and headed off towards some other shops to pass some time until we were due to meet Lisa and her Mum at 11.00 am. At a quarter past we got a message to say they couldn’t make it. In one way I was relieved as I didn’t fancy her having the baby in the middle of Chester in the freezing cold. I’d have been tempted to nip into the vacant place to keep warm.

We headed off towards the market where I’d seen the new shops last time I was here. One of them still wasn’t open despite having looked ready last time and having the windows cleaned. The other shop was massive. Time had passed so quickly it was 12.45 pm before I knew it and had to say goodbye and go for my bus. I waved them off and went outside. The market is close to the bus station and I had time to go to the loo first and then have a ciggie as I walked to my stop. The bus came and was quite crowded so I didn’t get my usual seat. I managed to miss much of the journey by nodding off leaning on my sticks. It must have been a source of amusement to some every time I jerked awake as my grip on them loosened.  I was home and in the house by 2.00 pm . At that point I found a message on the phone from Pauline to say she isn’t well and can she come tomorrow to clean? I guess she’s forgotten I can’t use the phone to answer her and Yvonne is now on her way to work. I’ll have to see if she turns up.

The mail was horrendous when I got back which I’d more or less expected. I decided to work until 5.00 pm then make myself some tea and watch a little TV. I came back through at 6.30 pm and apart from one loo break, one tablet break and the time it took to get changed I’ve been here ever since. It was 11.08 pm when I was finished with mail and I shall have one last check in a few minutes. Tomorrow I shall be in all day but have my games night so I want to make the day as easy as possible.

Late breaking News. They still love me! I had my new fraud email  but I honestly think they’ve forgotten who I am.

Dear Allah Elected One.
I would appreciate your immediate response to this mail because of my condition. My name is Mrs. Maimunna Mohamed from Tunisia I married to one Mr. Mohamed Diallo here in Burkina Faso unfortunately he died after a brief illness that lasted for only five days, I am now looking too weak and fragile to do things myself because I was diagnosed for Breast cancer about 3years ago, I and my late husband were married for eleven good years without a child as death departed us in 2009, After going through some files of my late husband I discovered a Deposit Certificate of $8.2million Eight Million Two hundred Thousand dollars in his account. 

You know how the rest of it goes…….

A study in grumps.

 

                                                                                                                  Back in action.

 

Wednesday.

Pity ( or maybe conscience if gods can have such ) was showered on me this morning and I was allowed to sleep until 4.29 am. Considering it was 1.00 am bed and taking into account yesterday’s mood, I was grateful for the treat. There was more mail than I’d have liked with some twenty of them falling in from before midnight Tuesday. My first job was to check the Euro lottery. There’s still hope for me as it was another rollover to Friday’s draw but my chances remain pretty slim if they keep ignoring every single number I play. If I have 6 they draw 5 and 7, If I have 16 they draw 15. The odds are that sometime I have to choose something that’s there. Like most people I can spread the happiness around if I win but also like most people my first job would be to find a house large enough to accommodate all my online friends…not all at once though.

I’d caught up by 7.00 am and went through to feed the fish feeling very self-satisfied. Morecambe and Wise came straight to the top as the feeding flap was opened. It didn’t take long to start on the flakes as I put them in. I also dropped in some pellets of algae for the catfish which most of the others are varieties of. Sharkey pounced on one immediately as did one of the smaller plecs. Little Al came to investigate but got too close to Sharkey and was chased off. He needs to be a bit bigger before he can shrug it off. Big Al however came past the food to the glass. Thinking there was friendly intent there I placed my finger on the glass.  It was more like fiendly intent for as I lowered my face to talk to him he turned round and swam off. Not in a normal fashion though, it seemed to be like a moped or something similar as the journey seemed to be like someone unable to hold their cheeks tight enough when they walk and there are a series of little put-put sounds. A case of air assisted passage. Yes, I think Big Al farted in my face.

Shocked and amused I had my meds then took my coffee back to work. A fair bit had accumulated in the short time I was out of the room so there was some catching up to do. I emailed Yvonne and asked her to phone Pauline to see whether she’s OK and intending to come back. She’ll be here next Monday. Working my way through the mail I found one further fraud today. One suggested a diplomat has a box full of cash waiting to be delivered to me one I provide him with my full name and my address. The diplomat is not supposed to know the contents of the box, just to deliver it. I think it’s possible that this one is a scam to steal identity since they wouldn’t need bank details if they’re giving cash. But, my psychic is back too, suggesting I need to know what’s coming up in the next 15 days again. She’s very persistent for someone who wasn’t going to bother me again. If it’s really that interesting why not just send a letter saying THIS is going to happen in the next 15 days so I could check it out on a daily basis. Is is just me being logical here or what?

The postman came and delivered the parcel that wasn’t due until January and which I was only notified of on Monday. I now have a duplicate gift but it will probably prove useful. He also delivered one third of a gram of gold which had been taken from a Scottish river. Before I start a new goldrush I should point out you’d have to be there a very long time to pick up anything worthwhile. This is a very small speck but fun to have. Towards lunchtime I managed to catch up with both lots of mail and went through to the lounge and started writing some more Christmas Cards. The ones for abroad need to go next week. Heavens, it’s December in a few days. When I’d had enough of that ( it’s hard to force my hands to be still ) I made lunch and settled on pea & ham soup with bread and butter. I enjoyed that while I watched Bargain Hunt with Ju’s old hairdressing cape around me to catch any spills. The problem with a moustache is that it retains and then dribbles. Once that was over I washed the pots and went back to work. Yes, no sleep, I bet you’re shocked but read on. I was doing OK with the mail I thought until I woke up and an hour had passed and there were about 7 or 8 ‘post to Twitter’s’ on my screen. I must have still been sort of reading the mail and wanting to tweet it. My fingers were crossed I hadn’t answered it. Luckily for me I hadn’t deleted anything and was able to read it again and comment where needed. The thing is, I did want to tweet all those I started.

At 4.30 pm I stopped work.There weren’t many left at that point but I needed to have something to eat in order to take the second lot of diabetic pills. I had a bag of Quavers and three slices of malt bread with butter. That was fine and allowed me plenty of time to wash up. There were no messages from Lee so I assumed he was coming tonight. I hoped so as there’s a little glitch I need him to look at. Poor soul is going to think it’s the only reason I’m happy to see him even though it isn’t. I put the usual quiz on and awaited the arrivals. Dil and Matt arrived about 5.30 pm and we watched the quiz together after I’d seen to drinks for them. As soon as it was over we set up the table and got started with the Yahtzee. Damn I’m having no luck with that. Matt 3, Dil 2, me just 1 game. While we were playing my phone sounded and there was a text from Lee saying he couldn’t make it. Such a shame . We started on Nomination and things just went from bad to worse. I started with the fist two or three hands looking promising and my score was steady but thereafter I couldn’t have won a hand if there was only me playing. I lost and lost badly. There were tears and tantrums before bedtime. Dil was the winner.

With enough time left to play another game we dealt for Crazy 8’s. This one didn’t start well for me having been caught twice for large pick-up’s one of 13 and one of 15 cards. I was going to get another pack of tissues when things changed. Play went my way and I started to get enough pick-up cards in my hand to force the others to suffer. I went on to win hands down putting poor Matt over the 301 score though I still maintain it was his father who made him pick up a lot and not me. I wouldn’t do a thing like that. They left just after 9.30 pm and I had a quick tidy up, though I need to put the throw in the wash as there are ink marks on it, washed the mugs and went through. There were only 78 posts but they took a long time so I broke off at 50 to see to the blog and am going back to them now. It’s already gone midnight so I hope the god are feeling kind tonight.

R.I.P Jimmy Ruffin,

Thursday.

The gods let me go to bed about 12.30 am so I took a little time for a chapter before sleep. It was 4.21 am when the cat landed on my stomach and I sat up in shock, wide awake. Hang on though, I don’t have a cat. He died 2 years ago now, even before Ju, and there’s no chance Mike would be up at that time even if he was here. There was also nothing on the bed Which included the ceiling as I did look up. If this is my new imaginary alarm clock I’m not very keen on it. If this is the gods having a joke, I’m not very keen on them.

Perhaps it was as well I woke as I needed a widdle ( I so love the variety of words for this one simple action) so I switched the computer on as I passed. When I eventually got back I signed in and went straight to mail. There was no problem with the mail itself but it was slow going as I wasn’t concentrating well. I worked up to 7.00 am then went through to the kitchen. Big Al must have been in a bad mood as all the others were keeping well out of his way. He was in the amphora that’s usually Sharkey’s domain and everyone was giving it a wide berth. Luckily the opening faced away from me so I thought I was safe in just putting food in and leaving. The problem is where the amphora is placed is very close to where the pellets drop. Ah well, you only live once (I think). I dropped the flake first for Morecambe and Wise then dropped the pellets of algae for the rest. Sharkey rushed to greet the shower straight past Big Al’s nose. Al turned to follow him and saw me. Or maybe he just heard my indrawn breath and cry of “No Sharkey, No”,  I let the food flap go and the resulting bang woke the plecs up to see what their great food god in the sky was doing( or something like that). It didn’t please Big Al too much either. He moved further round and Little Al came into view as though Big Al had him tucked under a fin. As I moved backwards Big Al advanced until I was with my back against the counter and he had his nose pressed against the glass looking daggers. “Good morning Big Al” I said, “your breakfast is there.” Then I forced myself to turn away from his hypnotic gaze.

I had my meds and made the usual coffee and departed for my room. I really didn’t feel like going out as I have a cold but at 9.00 am I forced myself so I could get some bread and milk from Pauline. Mike may come today and I want to be ready. I also needed my lottery tickets doing ready for my big win tomorrow night. Back at home the postman brought only rubbish for me so that went straight to recycling. By 11.00 am I was up to date and went to the lounge to do some more Christmas cards. I think I’m past the half way mark now but I may need a mortgage ( that’ll please the landlord) to post abroad. Then I did a quick pizza and chips for lunch and watched my antiques show. Going back to work wasn’t hard as I wanted to be free for Mike when he came but by 4.00 pm I was up to date again. back to the TV for a while. I got a text from Mike to say he was on the way so I expect him about 6.30 pm.  From 5.00 pm to 6.00 pm I worked on the mail to make sure there was nothing pressing when he came. I went to turn the light off on the tank, prepare Mike’s mug and boil the kettle.

6.30 came and with it came a text about the state of the traffic, his bladder and the need for a cigarette. He said he wouldn’t be long but it was about 7.15 pm before he appeared. I settled him with a drink and we exchanged war stories. It seems his new arrangement is to go to his fathers on a Friday from now on and spend longer with him. That’s good and it means on Sunday he’s not under time constraints to get to his Dad’s after lunch before heading home. He can go straight home now. It also means he can buy fish and take them home if he wants to. We watched an unusual programme about two men scouring the US for old junk to sell on. Checking old buildings, farms and barns for anything of value. Then it was time for an hour of Big Bang Theory with a new episode. Pure magic. By far the best comedy on TV and so well acted. At 9.00 pm it was time to come through to work again. Caramba, I have a real problem. Messages about Adobe needing to be updated and Java also, neither of which might be genuine and both of which are bringing adverts galore with them. I can’t access my emails without adverts coming up instead even though I’ve been and taken off an ad programme that had downloaded to my system somehow today. I can’t access the Adobe.com without this bloody thing flashing up on screen about updates and it won’t let me update from the actual .com file. I’m very frustrated. I’ve decided to do the blog a little early and see if I can access the mail on the laptop instead. I hope you’re wishing me luck. I had to run a scan which took until 12.50 am to finish but I wasn’t going to work on the mail tonight. The laptop was next to useless. It’s so old now it just can’t cope and keeps hanging before I can sign into the mail. I just have to hope the scan worked after it remove an adware piece of malware it found.

Friday.

Such joy, a 4.20 am start today after a 1.00 am finish but at least I wasn’t assaulted awake this time. The people who’ve read Oscar’s book Memoirs of a Superior no doubt think I was joking but that cat really was my alarm clock. He couldn’t be set to anything except Oscar time which meant when he was bored or hungry or just vindictive but landing on my stomach was a favourite way of ensuring I woke all at once with no pause to come round gradually. THAT’S IT…..the reason for my early mornings is FEAR and a long memory, after all we had him 18 years.

After a trip to the loo I came back to start work. All the problem of yesterday came back as soon as I turned on the computer. That’s despite the hours I hung around running scans. In the end I just did a system restore this morning and things seemed to be OK.  My post has taken a lot longer to appear but I have eventually been able to see it and deal with it. Anyway, it was almost 5.00 am before I got to start today. I could only work until 7.0 am because it’s Friday which of course is drugs day and I wanted it out of the way before Mike gets up and I know he’s ha ha set his alarm ha ha for 8.00 am. First things first, I fed the fish under the guiding eye  of Big Al but once I closed the lid he just swam lazily away to tell his congregation breakfast was up. I took my meds then brought the drugs drawer through to start doing the refills. I have to be ready to get new boxes from the drugs delivered this week to add to the drawer to take out again to put into the daily boxes. It can be a long drawn out job. I finished and made a coffee just as Mike’s alarm went off. He was getting up early to take me to the jewelers in Holywell but for reasons I can’t mention I’d decided I didn’t need to go today. I decided not to make hid drink but just to leave him after he turned the alarm off. I could wake him at 9.00 am instead. My coffee and I took a walk back to my bedroom.

I fully intended to put in an hour’s hard work before disturbing Mike but I’d just sat down when I heard the patter of his tiny feet going through to the lounge. I went back to the kitchen and made him a drink. He’d started playing a game on his phone and since he seemed happy I went back to work. Eventually he came through and mentioned our trip to town starting at 9.00 am. I explained my change of heart saying I didn’t need to go today but that he could get an early start to his Dad’s.  He was still here playing the same game at 10.10 am. The postman came and delivered a treat for me that I’d bought but all day I’ve been feeling guilty about it and think I’ll pass it on to someone else.  Eventually he left and I went back to work. Unbelievably I was finished by 11.30 am. I got changed into jeans though left the dressing gown on. Oops, the door went and it was one of the wardens come for a Friday chat. How I wished I’d got fully dressed. She chatted for a while and then said her goodbyes. I had my lunch and watched my Bargain Hunt.

At 1.00 pm I went back to work and by 2.30 pm was again up to date. I finished getting dressed and went out to the Post Office with my cards for foreign climes and also picked up 20 second class stamps for my home cards as there’s plenty of time for them. I had to offer to hire myself out as a ‘giggle Oh’ in order to pay for them. It was coppers short of £25.00. I’m sure it would be cheaper to hand deliver myself to Australia and the U.S. Back at home I started bringing myself back up to date when I must have nodded off for a moment or three. It was 4.05 pm and I had to go like the clappers if I wanted to finish by 4.30 pm. Wishful thinking, but I was out for the start of a quiz at 5.00 pm. Mike texted to say he was on his way back at that time so I expected him to be here for Eggheads at 6.00 pm. He wasn’t. Maybe the airport had him circling because the runways were busy. At 6.30 pm when I usually go for a shower I had another text saying he was getting himself something from the chippie, would I like something? My willpower was bad ( as was my memory as I’d had chips at lunchtime) so I asked for just chips. I thought he was round the corner at our chippie and would be minutes. No, he arrived at 7.05 pm because he’d been at the shop in Holywell and parking was awful since it was the turning on of the Christmas lights. Damn, I’d missed Santa and his reindeer. So, I had my chips, washed my plate and decided to go for my shower. Mike finished up and came through to wash my hair for me, I showered and went through to watch Mastermind. I know I saw the end of that which would have been 8.30 pm but that was it until almost 9.00 pm. There was a programme on about tiger cubs in the house which I had about 15 minutes of and then I decided to come and do battle with the post. 122 messages. It’s a late one again despite tomorrow being shopping day. By 11.30 pm I’d given up in disgust as messages wouldn’t load quickly and wouldn’t cancel at all. I’ve done about 3 in an hour. Time to turn off now and have a short read.

Saturday.

I finally figured it out. Somnos is holding one of those competitions like ‘How many peas in the jar’ or ‘Guess the baby’s name’ up there only he’s taking bets on the nearest guess to the time I’ll get up between 3.00 am and 5.00 am. I’m pretty sure he’s cheating though and picking a time between those guessed. It was 4.21 am again this morning. I was a bit tired and niggly because of the computer problems last night, yesterday daytime and the day before. I pai a visit to the loo and then with fingers crossed sat at the computer. I’m here to tell you now that it’s just possible crossed fingers don’t work. Today at least I could work on emails but they took an epoch to load and whenever I deleted one I’d get a message to say a problem had occurred. I therefore spend from 4.30 am to 6.30 am working on just yesterday’s mail. Needless to say I won’t be needing the services of a barber in future because I pulled the hair out by the roots. Despite the frustration I felt and the stress of being behind I still stopped at 6.30 am to get dressed and then go through to see to the fish. I refused to meet any google eyes today as I knew they had a nice surprise compliments of their Uncle Mike a little later and I didn’t want it dragging out of me. I took my meds. put the kettle on for Mike an made myself a coffee in the machine.

I didn’t hear Mike’s alarm go off so I assume it happened while the kettle was boiling and deafening me. I placed his drink on the bedside table and woke him to let him know it was there. Time then to start getting the bin bags together to go out. After I’d emptied my bedroom bin and taken it through to the kitchen to add to the bigger waste bag I took that and the food waste out. When I came back in  Mike hadn’t moved so I called out not to let his coffee go cold. Surprisingly there was an answer and it wasn’t something ending in …off!  He asked if his alarm had gone off. I said I hadn’t heard it but that I assumed so. Before he could come back with a rejoinder to cut me down I just told him the time.”Oh” he said and he moved. By the time I’d taken out the recycling bags he was in the lounge. Guess what, he was gaming again. He even does it with the TV on now, I’m hooking him up to Gamers Anonymous soon. Ten minutes after we should have left he wasn’t even dressed but once I swore to remove his supply of sweets he shifted.

When we reached ASDA I was expecting scenes of carnage rather than the orderly little queue I found there for Black Saturday. They hadn’t even given out all the discount vouchers before they closed the door as no-one was waiting. Meanwhile back at the main door we were going in to be met by trolleys coming out filled with 32″ and 50″ TV’s as well as kiddies toys. After we’d bought Ju’s flowers we strolled in the direction of the discounted stuff and there was a lot left. Obviously good behaviour were the watchwords of the day. I was very restrained much to Mike’s surprise. We did the shopping in quite good time and went for a coffee. From there tit was time to head for Flint. I needed a couple more shops including the pet shop to pick up something to tie in with Uncle Mike’s gift. That done we went for a coffee with Ceri, Kyle and the other Temptations gang. Mike likes his banter. When Ceri mentioned the heat from her drink had made the crumpet in her mouth swell he called out “I bet that’s not the first time you’ve said that” to which she agreed while choking with laughter.

By the time we got home it was 12.45 pm so we decided to dump the shopping until later and head straight off to dinner. It took us a while to travel to The Ivy but we were both pleased we did. Tariq is opening up another room for the various gifts sold there and the rooms were connected by an open fireplace . Very clean lines with an electric fire between them. It was making good progress. We had hugs from Tariq and kisses from Angie. Nods and a greeting from Rob because we haven’t trained him in Hugs yet. Angie made our drinks while we perused the menu. Mike had a beef Masala and I had a breakfast without the horrible potato thingy and no toast but with the addition of some chips so it was now a brunch.

Leaving there left no time to go on elsewhere as the panic had built up nicely now. When we got home I was going to attack the work straight away but Mike needed a hand at the tank first. He’d brought a new exterior pump and some tubing, I had bought  Y junction and he set up a much bigger curtain of air across the interior back wall of the tank. Maybe I should get some coloured lights next? After that I set to. Things had changed from this morning. The cancelled messages stayed dead and the speed of loading was great. One thing I noticed though was that my link to Google translate had disappeared. Strange. I worked from 3.30 pm to 6.00 pm and managed to catch to to 3.30 pm when I started. I had to take a break so joined Mike until 8.30 pm when he moaned at being left alone, but not too much. At 8.30 pm I came back and things were still OK so I had the chance to catch up until it was time to start the blog. Fingers crossed all is now OK.

Have a Great New Week everyone. Hugs to all.

Forgotten Fishes and A Scrabble Win

Sunday. It was almost 6.00 am before I got up this morning. No conscience though as it was 2.oo am before I got to bed. Mike will say he was up till that time too but he was snoring away when I went to the loo at about 1.00 am and turned his TV off just as Lena Lovich came on. Just as well or she might have woken him up again. In that short space of time I’d got over 120 pieces of mail so my heart did sink a bit but on the other hand what chances of Mike getting up early and wanting my company anyway, so I ploughed on. At 8.00 am I got up to take my tabs, do the fish etc or so I thought. I know I definitely came back to the bedroom with a coffee. I was through them by 9.25 am and as there was no sound I refreshed the screen. Another 28, Hmmm. no problem. Ten minutes later Grumpy got up, leaving the other 6 dwarves behind. I nipped through and put the kettle on to make a coffee. Leaving everything in his cup I headed back to my room shouting through the bathroom door to let him know he just needed to add the water.

I returned to the mail and there were just 12 outstanding. One quite a long letter from a friend whom I enjoy writing to and one, the exciting one, to tell me the book had been put on Lulu. I was really excited and had been waiting to hear this since last night. It might be the reason for a slight distraction, what some may call a lousy excuse, I offered to Mike as he came through to ask why the fish were beating on the glass of their tank in the dark. How the hell I’d forgotten about then I don’t know. Anyway, he said he’d see to it for me and I said I’d be in soon. I couldn’t wait to get onto Lulu and complete the book. Sending it to Global advertising, ordering my proof copy and setting the price,which was quite a job in itself. It’s all done.

This book is dedicated to my grandson Reuben D.C. Eboh who will be a reader I hope.

I owe Huge Thanks to the following friends for helping me reach this stage.
Ilil Arbel without whose technical wizardry I’d be lost.
Sherie Sprague for editing out all my errors and making my English look better.
http://roughseasinthemed.wordpress.com for helping with the title, though I got the final tweak.
Huge Hugs to you all and to those
who encouraged me to do this!

As I went through to the lounge about 11.00 am still in my dressing gown ( Shock, Horror) Mike was watching the bobsleighs in the Winter Olympics. I was in time to see the UK set a fantastic time and get to third place in the medals, and also in time to see Latvia and Russia do even better and push the UK to 5th. I was proud of them anyway. Mike then cheered on the Canadians at Ice Hockey unto about 12.15 when it was time to get dressed. We went out just before 1.00 and because it was local went to the Royal Oak for Sunday dinner. Uncomfortably crowded for me but a tasty meal. We went back home and almost as though we hadn’t gone out Mike was able to catch the rest of the Hockey with Canada winning 3 to Nil over Sweden. A shame as Sweden deserved to score too. It was a good game if you like violent mayhem.               Mike was not going to his Dad’s today so he was able to stay longer. We watched a file together ‘The Boy’ and then nodded off during other programmes until about 6.00 pm when we had a light tea,  one bulb each. At 7.30 he left for home and I flew to the bedroom to do what my hands had itched to do for hours, get back to my mail. Amazingly just 84 so I’ve had an easy time so far.

Monday. An early start this morning and the news that the book is on Lulu. I had to go in and set the price, choose the Global distribution package and order my proof copy. In a way it’s quite exciting as I’ve ventured far outside my comfort zone with this, I’ve also made the classic mistake of listening to friends and family about how good it is rather than some unconnected beta reader. That’s because of course it was only intended for my grandson originally. Now of course, since being persuaded to open it for general sale I can donate the royalties to the Pancreatic Cancer Fund for Ju’s memory. I was still hopping about when 8.00 am came and I had to feed the fish and follow my normal routine. The snail colony in the tank is almost blocking the light now, I think it’s wet arm time this weekend.

I did a couple of tweets during the morning and there seemed to be a lot of blog posts to comment on so that I was at the computer most of the morning on and off. I put a load of washing in as there was no-one here to tell me about separating the colours. At lunchtime I emptied the machine after having the drier on for 3 hours, flapped them to remove as many creases as possible and folded them into the linen basket. Now I have to train my eyes to avert themselves if they stray in that direction again. For lunch I had beef casserole with mashed potatoes and peas and then granted myself a couple of hours break which was spent nodding off in my chair. Late afternoon and I returned to battle bringing myself up to date and responding to wonderful comments on my post.

After tea I settled to watch some Big Bang Theory and an episode of CSI NY before coming through about 8.00 pm to carry on with mail and the nights blog post. Plenty to keep me going till late but I still managed a read.

Tuesday. Up at 6.00 am and in no rush this morning as Chester is visiting me this afternoon so I can take my time. In amongst all the mail there’s this little gem. I accept that English is not everyone’s first language but I’d expect someone in such an important business to have a smattering of education. Since those fools at the lottery missed my numbers again at the weekend I decided to pass the opportunity on to those of you who are investors. Go on, you know you want to.

Dear
with all du respect i’m mr Ibrahim i lead a group of suppliers
in gold dust and bars from west africa.
we are looking for  partners or buyers in europe , asia ,
america for the quantity of gold of 22 carat and 95% of purity origin
from guinea conakry we currently have.
we are abble to bring the said gold anywhere the buyer want us too
after discussing about the proccess and sign sale and purchase agreement.
waitting for your urgent reply to send you some certificat of the gold we
have now.
i’m presently  with that said gold at morocco in transit .
Thank you
best regar

I’m not quite sure what a best regar is but if any of you have one, keep it to yourselves please. A couple more tweets this morning and lots of comments to make on other people’s blogs. There’s a lot going on out there. At some stage I knew I’ d have to get dressed, the picture of the writer cigarette in hand, still in dressing gown and open bottle of ———– ( insert your own poison) to hand died out in the thirties, or at least in my thirties. We’re all bright as a button, laptop toting semi-professionals on the run these days. So, I got dressed before lunchtime and then made myself lunch just to prove it.

Afterwards I’d returned to the mail when I received a text from my wonderful friend Lis just checking if I was still alive and checking if I was at home or in Chester. When I said “At home” she told me she was on her way. She arrived about half an hour later and settled with a coffee and chocolate biscuit ( see, I do share) as we chatted about everything happening since we last saw each other. When it came time for her to go it was just time for Yvonne and Reuben to arrive. She was able to spend enough time to coo over Reuben as I picked him out of his pram and was rewarded with a big smile.

Reuben in my armchair

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yvonne was thrilled with the cow rocker I bought at the weekend and Reuben seemed to approve too. He also seemed to enjoy me pretending to drop him and there were whoops of laughter in the lounge as we played. At about 6.00 pm Ugo arrived with ta which for him was his only meal today but not for Yvonne and myself who still managed to pack away some chips. I had two buttered baps and Yvonne showed restraint with one. Reuben showed even mor restraint by helping Yvonne eat hers. I had a rhubarb crumble and custard afterwards though I haven’t the foggiest idea where I put it. Ugo (oink oink) had 2 chocolate puddings with custard.!!!!! OK, they were very small but that doesn’t sound half as good. At 7.00 pm it was time for them to go and I carried Reuben out to the car. You could hear my joints scream. He’s really heavy. The rocking cow is for one year olds but he’s tall enough to more than reach the floor on it. After waving them off I spent an hour catching up again and then treated myself to a film. A lighthearted comedy with poor old Heath Ledger kept me smiling until 10.00 pm when it was time to turn off and concentrate on leaving myself a clean slate. Mujo tomorrow and card night too.

Wednesday. T’was a funny old start to the day as I felt full of beans ( which I’m not for a change) despite it being only 3.10 am. I’m not even sure it was worth going to bed earlier on. Anyway, I started on my mail, an opened can of Pepsi beside me ( just in case any Pepsi exec is reading this, I prefer Pepsi Max). By 6.15 am I’d started to flag and the yawns were getting bigger and bigger so that I was actually in danger of swallowing myself. I lay down on the bed and zonked until 7.50.am. One minute there, the next minute gone. The rest did me a power of good and my eyes were almost fully open when I bopped one of the plecs on the head with a food tablet. I’ve never seen it move so fast, mind you they’re so good at camouflage I’ve never seen it move period.

Tabs done and  coffee in hand I returned to the bedroom and worked till 9.00 am then decided I’d better get dressed in case my visitors came early. They did, but not until 10.30 am by which time I’d almost got up to date. There was a knock, the door opened and I heard a call of “It’s only us”. I made drinks or rather I poured drinks as Muriel likes her J2O and John wanted a cold drink so I did him a lime and lemonade. One day I must remember to put water in the ice trays and stick them in the freezer. We had a bit of a natter before Mu announced she’d like to go to Jackson’s Nursery after lunch. Fine by me, but then followed a discussion about where lunch should be. I’m afraid I ruled out his chippie because I’d had chips last night. He ruled out my choices as not liking them and we settled on The Bells ( of St.Mary) which is a carvery. I have no complaints about the meal except it was too big but that didn’t stop me eating it since I was the one who piled stuff on but I did end up feeling bloated. One good thing, and Mike would be proud of me, I remembered my tablets and took them in the right order. It was also handy as I’d downloaded a £3 voucher for The Bells yesterday.

Lunch over we set off for Jackson’s and found it very changed inside, that is except for the prices which only bankers can afford. We couldn’t even get a cuppa because it’s half term and the cafe was full. After a good look round at some of the fantastic stuff they have we left to head for home. On the way we had to detour which brought us close to The Dragon’s Rest where we decided to have a drink. I had a chocolate milkshake which was glorious.

We reached home and found we were all three tired. John went to sleep, Is struggled and Muriel tried to occupy herself. At 3.30 pm she announced they needed to leave and woke John. They set off, and avoiding falling asleep I came back to the computer. I finished at about 5.05 pm so scuttled through to see the last ten minutes of my antiques show. From then on I kept a weather eye on the window. A text from Lee said he couldn’t make it today. A shame, but at 5.50 pm I saw Dil and Matt approach so I went to make drinks. Dil has his tea and Matt has pot luck of the coffees. Play started and I actually won a game of scrabble, then Dil won a game and also won nomination whist which Matt says he always does. The usual insults flew across the newly covered card table, if Dil gets any more sarcastic I’m passing him a tissue to stop it dripping from his chin. Then we decide ( sorry, Dil decided. It’s not my fault Matt) to teach Matt how to play Cribbage. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to teach anyone how to play crib but you can see their eyes glaze over or start to look fearful when you start, Fifteen Two, Fifteen Four, two goes six and six is a dozen. Or playing the hands, Eight, fifteen for two, twenty one ( Crib made easy), Twenty eight ( three to the gate) Twenty Nine ( Two to the line) Thirty one for two. By this time Matt was grabbing his coat and heading for the door screaming something about speaking English. Dil almost tripped over his box of sarcasm tissues trying to bring him back. Yes, I lost that game too.

Wednesdays are always a fantastic evening for me. I get the feeling of closeness within the family though I wish it was closer still since there are some people I see far too little of. Matt is a bright young man whose company I enjoy but I’m sure for him the Wednesday trip might be more a duty than a pleasure. We never get the chance of a real conversation like  remember having with Karen at his age. Mind you, what would he have to say to a boring old fart anyway.

Today is the day I’ve decided to add music to this weeks blog and again I’m dedicating it to my friends. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Olga at   olganm.wordpress.com   http://youtu.be/HiB7Be0wNsg   Barcelona by Freddie Mercury and Montserrsat Caballe in honour of her beautiful home.

And one for Reuben. Brian and Michael had a big hit with their record about L.S.Lowry but the ‘B’ side was my  favorite  http://youtu.be/sg9Rra9mdTg . I hope he’ll remember the Nanna he never got to meet.

One for all my friends  http://youtu.be/Bx9qUR9P2ZQ  A Good Heart by Feargal Sharkey. I’ve found so many good hearts through the blog. Than you all.

Marylin Warner       warnerwriting.wordpress.com    http://youtu.be/uGDA0Hecw1k    who reminds us to tell our family the important things while we can. Mike and the Mechanics with The Living Years.

Thursday. I had a struggle this morning. I did get up but it was a fight as I saw no reason to get up. I attacked the mail but saw no urgency in it. I was lethargic. Not so lethargic that I forgot the fish of course, I don’t want to face THAT look again. I also managed to see to my meds for the week. Mr.Predictable, that’s me. At about half nine I got washed and dressed before heading out to buy some cigs, bread and the all important Lottery tickets. The fresh air made all the difference. I came back feeling much more alive and decided to try and download Adobe Air to my computer to open a programme I’d been sent called Booksoftware and it’s for designing covers. Up to now I’ve had no joy with Adobe Air and it took three or four goes before I got it this morning. Then I tried to open the Booksoftware file and  it’s that has caused my final defeat. Nothing I can do makes it open, I’ve even tried deleting it and downloading again. Aaaarghhh, frustration.

There was a knock at the door and it was a delivery man from Lulu with the proof copies of Reuben’s book. It’s thin but looks very good. I’m really pleased with the end result. I let Yvonne know straight away and she’s making sure I remember to write in it for Reuben. I tried to break it to her gently that he can’t read yet. I must find the funds to order some more. I had an email from Ugo with some points on our ongoing theological discussions. We’re both a little inflexible in our viewpoint but he’s such a star it easy not to offend and even have a laugh sometimes. I liked the way he called his faith a big hope as that’s what I consider my faith to be too though more grounded in people. What I like is that he listens politely and doesn’t preach or try to punish me with threats of hell but does what I expect everyone to do, accept that we can still live together with different viewpoints.

I dodged lunch in favour of ham baps and allowed myself some dark chocolate fingers afterwards. Most of the afternoon I was dozing for which I paid a price when I came back through here at 8.00 pm and found my message box jammed to overflowing again. I’ve been at it for two and a half hours so far, taken  a break for the blog an must now return. It’s just as well Mike’s not here or he’d make me refresh. There’s been no change in sales of the new book but i’ d like to thank the UK buyer and the U.S. buyer very much. Pancreatic Cancer Research will be grateful. Night all.

Friday. 7.30 am today before I opened my eyes. I couldn’t believe the clock and thought for a minute I hadn’t notice it stopped last night. I nipped out to turn the fish light on and then went for a wee. Getting back to the bedroom it was a bit nippy so I put my dressing gown on and kickstarted the computer. Naturally the rules say if I’m late the postbox has to be full. At 98 it wasn’t joking.  I worked to 8.30 am and went for tabs and my coffee then ploughed in again until 10.00 am when I nipped out for some milk. Even with a refresh I was up to date buy 11.15 am but definitely in need of a break. There’s a channel that shows old films so I sat watching Moonraker with George Baker and wishing myself a Cavalier. Those Roundheads had no sense of fun.

I had a small break for lunch which was pizza and micro chips so not too unhealthy and as the pizza had pineapple I had at least one of my 5 a day. Once the film was over I came back to keep the messages down and returned to watch another. As that ended it was back to work long enough to empty the box before going to watch the final day of my antiques programme. I had a text from Mike to say he was on his way from Manchester and he’d be there by 6.00pm. He was, with moments to spare so I made his coffee while he settled to watch a quiz. We chatted so I knew how his week had been and he’s told me that next Wednesday he’s to go for a heart monitor test. A bit worrying. I made him some tea and had a small sandwich followed by a healthy yoghurt. At 7.00 pm I disappeared for a shower then came back to the lounge to keep Mike company.

After a couple of quite interesting things on the box we watched Jonathan Creek which was to my mind poor by comparison to the old series. Then tit was time for Mike to go out for ciggies. He came back in complaining of the cold. I said at least it wasn’t snowing and cheekily brushing his hand through my thatch he said “Unless he did that” meaning dandruff. Cheeky sod. The boy is so sharp he’ll cut himself one day. There was a bit more banter before I was able to throw him out and concentrate on mail again. Just 68 this time and I’d polished those off by 11.00 pm. Then I made another attempt to change the background on my Twitter to include the new book. Twenty minutes later and I was no nearer. I can change it to a normal theme but I can’t get it to accept a picture of my books like I had before. I’ve no idea what i’m doing wrong. Anyway I’ve broken off to write this and keep you up to date with my ineptitude. One more try then I’m off. See you tomorrow.

Saturday. I didn’t start answering mail this morning until almost 6.30 am. I was up at 3.00 am for a nip to the loo and a ciggie but wasn’t in the least interested in staying up and managed to get back to sleep fairly easily.The next think I know is it’s past 6.00am, that’s three days recently with around 5 hours of sleep.I don’t understand it but I’m not complaining. When I did finally rouse myself I ploughed into it fully expecting Mike to be up at 7.00 am raring to go, sorry, it’s a bit early in the day for a joke like that. If he got up at that time he’d waste half an hour trying to bring me round. As it happens his alarm didn’t go off when expected but I took a coffee through at 7.00 anyway after following the usual routine in the kitchen. I managed to get through some more mail before his alarm finally went off about quarter past when I nipped to the bathroom before he needed it. As I got dressed afterwards I actually hear him rouse himself and attack the now iced coffee.

I did finish the first batch on my computer before going out and we actually made the shops for 8.15 am, Yes, on the same day !! I wouldn’t say Mike’s fond of his bed but he does have a mattress stapled to his back. I keep asking what he’s got stapled to his front that causes the shirt buttons to strain but he says he’s no idea what I’m talking about. cough cough. Shopping didn’t take long today as he refused to let me near the sweet counter or the biscuit aisle. For ‘my own good’ of course. It’s a hard life. Later we shot off to Flint for a couple of items where I managed to smuggle some Wagonwheels ( chocolate mallow biscuits) into the basket. We went for a coffee where one of us had two roundss of toast and I promise I have no crumbs on me except those spluttered when I muttered “piggy” under my breath. We went home then and after a couple of hundred yards he even let me get into the car instead of running alongside screaming that my jacket was caught in the door. Bless those Nuns who started waving to him and pointing.

We had time to unpack and I checked my mail. Three letters and all trying to sell me insurance. Mike suggests maybe they know something I don’t. I’d just caught up with my mail again when our friend arrived to take us to lunch to say thanks for help with his moving. Mike and I decided to suggest somewhere which would cost very little and still have a good meal so I ended up in The Bells again. This time my beef was on, and it was gorgeous with onion gravy. We chatted a while then decided to go out for a cigarette. My face lit up when I saw a familiar face emerge. Cheryl from Kassidy’s was there and neither Mike nor I have seen her in ages. There were huge hugs and she sat down beside me. I was asking about her health as she had a bad chest last time I saw her, I also asked if she was still working. Her face crumpled and she told me she was out for a treat with her daughter and granddaughter because she’s been quite ill. She has cancer and needs chemotherapy to reduce a large mass before they can do a mastectomy. Mike and I are devastated for her and the family. She’s a wonderful  person and one of the few I’m comfortable talking to. Plus she was really nice with Ju when she and I used to eat in Kassidy’s. Life is very cruel and quite unfair. Mike teased Cheryl as he always has and brought a smile to her face, but you could see how closely he felt the memories of his own close dealings with cancer through his beautiful daughter in law Kirsty as well as my Julia.

When Cheryl and her family had left we sat and chatted with Brian a little longer and then went our separate ways which was easy as we’d come in separate cars. The Ivy was on our way home and Mike agreed it would be nice to go for a coffee and to say hello. Tariq was there and came to shake hands, his wife Shella was there with her parents and also her very pretty daughter. Helen and Angie were both on too. Tariq grabbed the Ferrero Rocher before the girls got a look in but they both came over to say hello and thanks anyway. Helen had time for a laugh as always, she’s a delight. It may be Cheryl’s news had hit a little hard and I wasn’t talking much ( so what’s new there before Mike says anything) but Tariq squatted down beside our seats for a real chat and paid us the great compliment of calling us friends despite the short time we’ve known him. He also took us to see the progress he’s made on the photographic studio and where the cake business will be based. Mike says I’m banned. Shella and her daughter left, Helen left too but not without coming over to hug us. Tariq had to leave to cook since Helen had gone, with so many cats and other pets she probably needs an early finish to have them all fed before midnight.

Mike and I got our coats on to leave and Tariq came out, He lied said there was no change in the till and he couldn’t manage the £20 note I offered payment with. I had nothing smaller but if he thinks I’ll forget………. He also came from behind the counter to hug us both which brought a lump to my already lumpy throat. The journey continued and as we were getting towards home Mike reminded me of the antique shop we’d tried to visit that was closed recently and drew in beside it. We’d just gone inside and there was another familiar face not seen for an age. That of Si(mon) owner and chef at Kassidy’s and also Cheryl’s boss. As it’s been a while since we were there I obviously asked what news there is and all I was told was that he’d closed early as there was no-one in town. I was really surprised he didn’t mention Cheryl as I know him to be a caring man. We didn’t but anything so headed home.

There’s a gannet in my home. I don’t want to name names but lat me say he’s not called David. The gannet ate chocolates just before  tea. Had tea,plus malt loaf and egg custards. Then there was more chocolate. It wasn’t long before David heard the pitiful words “Ooer, I shouldn’t have had that last chocolate ( or six). Unfortunately David has run out of sympathy today and sniggered.  Love and Hugs to you all and wished for a great week. Share a hug with someone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Youngest swinger in town.

Crawl attempt

 

Crawl attempt 2

 

At the Park

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Risking one eye and a Turn of the Cards.

Sunday. It was a late night last night so I felt great to stay asleep till 6.22 this morning. We’re setting records here folks. Talking of records I opened my mail today to find three offers from ladies who think their pictures will convince me there’s a life I’m missing out on. I decided to risk an eye. What I got was an eyeful. I’m guessing I was being shown part of her anatomy but all I could think of was, I don’t want to meet the horse that wears a horse collar like that. Another email swiftly sent to spam which was fairly appropriate for the amount of meat I’d just seen. I’m still shaking and believe me without spell check I’d be in trouble now.                                                                                         I had to be careful how much food I put in for the fish my hands were so bad and I wouldn’t have needed my new toy to do a milkshake. I sat in the lounge with two coffees and tried to get my eyes to refocus. Shock isn’t good at my age. Honestly ladies you’d have to be desperate to chase me in the first place but if you’re that hard up for clothes I’ll send a donation. I heard Mike moving just after 10.00 so I made him a coffee. I hadn’t realised all he was doing was turning over so my call of “Coffee’s up” right down his earhole may not have been welcome. Luckily he rose a few moments later. After coffee and two cigarettes and a visit to the loo it was possible to speak to him and I asked if he’d help me with Ju’s old printer. First thing we noticed when we brought it through is that it’s wi-fi and a much better model than mine. Three years it’s been lying in a corner and the bloody thing printed first time without having the ink changed though I can see the black is due soon. That took us up to lunch time. Mike packed his cade and we got ready to go. He put his case on the doorstep and locked up. I remembered I had something for a neighbour so he nipped back inside for me. He locked up and headed for the car while I knocked at the neighbours house and then followed him. We went back to The Blossoms this week as the owner and family are well and cooking again. We had a fabulous roast lamb dinner unusual only in that we were offered pickled red cabbage with it that we both jumped at. It was a lovely meal.I must have confused poor Kev the barman by having a coffee instead of my usual lemon and lime drink. Mike drove me home, dropped me off and I waved him goodbye as he set off for his dad’s. I just got to my front door and there was his suitcase still on the step. I quickly texted him and back he came though he rushed past me and sprinted for the loo. He hadn’t got my message. Amazing.                                                                                                                                                                       Once he’d departed and I’d locked the door to stop him getting back in I divided my time equally between messages, TV and nodding off until the final episode ( I think) of the Sherlock Holmes series came on. I’m enjoying them but they can be quite bizarre in parts. I now have  less than two minutes o get to bed while it’s still Sunday.

Monday. It was eerily quiet when I woke this morning, almost like being in the eye of the storm. I realised I couldn’t hear rain for the first time in I don’t know when. I smiled to myself and the quiet was broken as I stubbed my toe. I had successfully avoided the bags of Christmas gifts around the perimeter of my room but walked blindly into the corner of the stick stand in the hallway. Who was it made me buy the darned thing anyway. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, I hopped to the bathroom and turned the light on expecting to have to be rushed to hospital with a broken toe………not a mark, except for an eency weency chip in the edge of a toenail. Is that all I have to show for this pitiless pain?  Hmph, no point in hopping now either, anyway it’s hard to take a pee and keep it in place when you’re hopping. I finished up and returned to the bedroom to turn the computer on. Sure enough my distraught friend in Burkina Faso  who’s husband died still has her 6 million plus and since she’s not expected to live for long wants me to accept 40% to spread the rest round the churches she favours. Trouble is I’m so oversubscribed to my honesty mission and have so many millions due that I’m not sure I can handle 40% of this wee drop in the ocean. I’m afraid she should have become ill much earlier if she specifically wanted my help. There must be a poor person out there who needs the work. Actually from what I’ve been hearing about the TV show Benefits Street perhaps there isn’t anyone who wants a job and wouldn’t take this money in case it stopped their benefits. I’m never sure who has these bright ideas that reality shows are a good thing. They rarely show the nice side of people. A group of deadbeats and scroungers are hardly likely to be taken to the nation’s heart except for the few who think this way of life enviable and those featured in the show of course. I may be taken as a prude here but I don’t have the patience to watch a show where people don’t have the imagination to use the rich language we own instead of a plethora of swear words and curses in every sentence.                                                                                                                                               After dealing with the rest of the early messages I made myself a cuppa, took my tabs and fed the fish. I took the drink back to the bedroom and after getting dressed enjoyed it while going through Ancestry.co.uk  I’m not strictly doing people in a direct line at the moment as I hit a dead end. But, some of the families of people who have intermarried with mine are throwing up some interesting facts. There are more from Yorkshire than I thought and a few from Gloucester, it’s quite interesting trying to find out why they moved and eventually married someone from my family. Was it the industrial revolution throwing them off the land? I have two annoying blocks,  family member born about 1774(?) in Ireland and his wife born about 1794(?) on Gibralter. they married in 1819 in Scotland by which time he’d been disabled out of the army after being wounded a couple of times in 1812-1815 in Spain. Neither Gib or Ireland have all their records available online. Back to messages trying to sort out with Yvonne an appointment to have my bloods done again, I swear I’m the sole support of the B neg vampires in the area. Turns out next Monday morning is the first one. I also tried to get her to make a decision about what w’re doing tomorrow. Her allergy must still be in place because she won’t make a decision. I’ve decided on a sort of part-way compromise so I’m near enough the shops for my strawberries, bananas and fresh bread. I’ve decided to eat healthy meals between my chocolate breaks for a while. At lunchtime I made two ham salad rolls and followed up with four jaffa cakes. For tea it was two small slices of malt bread, a piece of Christmas cake   ( finished now) and a yoghurt. A little later I may have had 4 dark chocolate fingers. A little later still there may have appeared in my hand in a wonderous fashion 4 liquorice allsorts. I hate the little men they put in the box and this time there has not been a single piece of ordinary liquorice at all. I watched a little TV including an old Poirot before coming through to find my message box full. Now it’s time for a bit more Pratchett.

Tuesday. Early morning. Post dealt with. Argument as to who goes where with Yvonne and she won’t make a decision so coat on and off to meet her. She and Reuben were there before me, not that Reuben has much choice since she always pushes him around. We had a look round the children’s clothing sale and were surprised at how little there was. Reuben was a little restless so we went for a coffee, or rather I did as Yvonne didn’t want a drink. The lady who served me kindly brought it to the table for me and I was able to hold Reuben for a while, he was full of smiles. After my drink we went downstairs to do somee food shopping, starting with strawberries and bananas ready for Diet Day 1 tomorrow. A milkshake for breakfast I think, followed by ham salad baps for lunch ( with maybe just 4 dark choc fingers for pudding) If I feel peckish at teatime I can either have another milkshake or maybe a yoghurt. I also bought some ice cube trays as this machine is supposed to make short work of them so perhaps I can indulge in a slush-puppie at some stage if I get the sauce.                                                                                                                                                                                          We wandered slowly round some other shops then as lunchtime approached for Reuben took another coffee break. Yvonne changed him afterwards ( got a lousy swap) and off we went again.  Eventually my stomach started growling and since we were quite close to a cafe ( what a coincidence) I was able to get something to eat. Yvonne had something that resembled a toastie but I think may have been a panini while I had a jacket potato with beans, it was very filling. One more shop, the last and I’d about had enough so Yvonne walked me to the bus stop though I wanted her to catch her own bus and she wanted me to go home with them  saying Ugo would be disappointed not to see me. I know I’ll be seeing them this weekend but to be honest I’m not in birthday mood at the moment. Plus I want to go somewhere on Sunday and they want me to go somewhere else. Yvonne’s insistence on it is worrying.                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I got home safely and spent most of the evening in here with messages since the one foray into the lounge for TV resulted in me sleeping most of the way through a French film. Shame, it seemed to be quite funny on the occasions I was able to feel my eyelids apart. Time now to relax I think and perhaps have a few pages of my book before sleep.

Wednesday. I was having one of those real ‘I can’t be bothered mornings’. I’d got up early and done the messages. I’d taken my meds and made a coffee, done a bit more on the computer and finally got dressed. A short walk to the corner shop for some fresh baps, cigarettes and my TV magazine saw me knackered when I got back. Putting the bread away I found I’d forgotten the fish this morning and had to grovel an apology as I turned their light on and fed them. It was Time! I unpacked the box and set my new toy up. I put in loads of strawberries, a little strawberry milkshake liquid and a bit of milk.  About twenty seconds of ‘whooshing’ and it looked like I had a milk shake in one of my new beakers. I drank it as I answered the next batch of emails and also bid on something on Ebay. I had intended to do a couple more poems but there just didn’t seem to be time. The post van brought a parcel which turned out to be the new TVbox so that I can catch up on programmes I missed. I didn’t open it as there are some wires still to come and anyway, Mike is the one to put this together for me without putting wires in the wrong holes like I do. I finished the milk shake but it was very thick so I need to add more milk next time, maybe some crushed ice too, it was definitely very fruity though.                                                                                                    Lunch time arrived and I made two ham salad baps with plenty of onion. I was too full after one and a half to finish. I stayed in my armchair afterwards and nodded off for a half hour or so. Most of the afternoon was taken up with a bit of polishing and hoovering but in truth it was half-hearted. For tea I managed a bag of crisps and a banana. Then just before 6.00 pm  Dilwyn and Matt arrived. I made drinks then set up the table and got the Scrabble out.Two games with a few attempts to create words the world isn’t ready for yet. I managed to win both but the margin was small on the first and devastating for them on the second. Getting a seven letter word out and gaining the 50 point bonus was a great help. Next came cards and as promised I set up to teach Matt how to play Nomination Whist. He picked it up very quickly, unfortunately for me he picked it up too quickly and though Dil was the winner, Matt pushed me to third place. The language was atrocious and theirs wasn’t too good either. Still a bit of time left we launched into a game of Crazy 8’s or as I’ve mentioned before AKA Friendly Enemies. For a while I thought I was paranoid about them teaming up on me till I realised it wasn’t paranoia but fact. I still managed to thrash them. I reminded them afterwords that sticks and stones may break my bones but…I didn’t get any further before I was attacked with sticks. They left just after 9.30 and headed home for poor Dil to get his tea. I confess to being really grateful he comes here after a days work to give me some company and Matt joins him. I tidied up, turned off the lights and came through to finish the days messages. 98 waiting but I did win the Ebay item. I just have to get the seller to add postage now as it’s too far away for collection. Time for some sleep now.

Thursday. It was another early rise day which surprised me as I’d read quite late last night. I’m always reluctant to put a Pratchett book down and he always makes it hard by not having chapter breaks in his books. The mail was dealt with quite quickly as it’s getting very easy to recognise the wild women, psychics and crooked bank managers and just delete them these days. Easier still are the number of banks I don’t have accounts with telling me there are problems. It’s funny, but I showed Mike one of these last week and that the logo at the bottom took you to the site of the real bank. He was surprised at how sophisticated these con-men are. If they don’t carry your name and account number, DUMP THEM.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I did have one fun message I’d like to share a part of which you might enjoy while I just go and get dressed……………………………………………………………………………………..

Time to get your socks off!

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I’m back, and before you ask it seems Greek and Celtic are mine. About 9.00 am I dashed to the shops for my lottery- no luck again last night- the Weekly newspaper and some milk. I’d not been long back when MuJo arrived. It was announced they’d come to take me for a birthday dinner and to shop for a gift/gifts. No wasn’t an acceptable answer so after drinks and a long chat about how much we’d enjoyed Christmas and loved the gifts we’d exchanged we set off for lunch. I loaded myself up with sweets for lunch at Kassidy’s and apres lunch at Temptations. So the new diet is going really well. MuJo had roast chicken dinners while I had bacon, egg, beans and chips. Don’t worry, I’ll smack the back of my own hand. Ouch!                                                                                                                                                                                                                       After lunch I suggested a quick trip to Lidl where I found they still had some coin cases which are really inexpensive and got MuJo to buy it for me. I thought we’d both be happy now. We headed for Flint next but instead of going for coffee straight away John suggested we tour the shops first. Until we hit the first one and he followed me round asking if I’d seen anything I liked, I didn’t realise we were still birthday shopping. I had to keep telling them I was really happy with the gift already bought. Half a dozen shops later and we went for coffee and a sit down. The girls were grateful for their sweets. After coffee there was one last shop to go into where I bought myself…..please don’t tell Mike, a new shirt…AND  a pair of trousers. I mean the sale prices were ridiculous. Muriel bought me a fleece in a similar colour so I hoped that was it. In the car on the way home, John asked me what I really want for my birthday, with emphasis on want not need. I kept trying to explain I’m more than happy with my gifts but I’m told it’s not optional. I’ll receive a surprise one when I see them next. They left to go see John’s mum who is becoming more bed bound by the day. There had been a package delivered while I was out which turned out to be the wires/plugs for the new catch-up TV box. I turned on the Antiques Road Trip and opened a tiny tin of peaches and sat and enjoyed myself.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Back to work after that as there were 104 messages in my in-box again. It took me till almost 7.000 pm to deal with those after which I went through to the lounge to tidy up a bit and waste some tome before 8.00 and my Big Bang Theory. Two episodes, the last of Season 6 which I’ve seen and the first of season 7 which was hilarious. It was all messages up till bedtime then and at 11.30 of to bed with the book. I’m getting close to the end now.

Friday. I heard the lark coughing this morning when I got up. It was just turning over in it’s nest for another hour or so. I’m not sure Mrs. Lark was too thrilled as she was already on the edge. I worked on emails till 7.00 and hen decided on an early coffee today while I finished off. At 9.00 I went out for a packet of cigs and was amazed to find that somehow a KitKat must have fallen into my hand in the shop. It’s lucky that I found she’d charged me for it anyway. Not wishing to see any waste I reluctantly ate it. Mmmm chocolate.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Most of the morning was spent on the computer. Two more poems for Reuben’s book and mail kept up to date. About 11.00 my phone buzzed and I was expecting a message ‘On way’ but it was my friend Lis checking to see if I’d be in this afternoon. She wanted to bring my birthday prezzie. It was quite handy for me as I had some gifts waiting for her too from my little forays into the sales. She said she’d be here around 2.00 pm. At 12.00 I got a message to say Mike was on his way. I didn’t reproach him for his late start as I wanted to save the sarcasm for when I could see his face. I expected him around the 2.00 mark as well. I had my lunch which was two ham baps with tomato and coleslaw. I behaved afterwards mainly because my biscuits had run out. At the appointed hour Lis arrived and I had her coffee pouring as I answered the door. The hug and kiss were delightful.  We put my gifts to one side until tomorrow ( I can be trusted not to prod and poke) and I handed Lis her bag. First she found the teaspoon with half the bowl cu away so she can have half a spoon of sugar at home. Then came the wine holder which was a metal Father Christmas (who looked like me) and who’s head served to sit on the top and neck of the bottle. Lastly came the bottle, well no use giving half a gift is there. I owe Lis so much more than this for her support during Ju’s illness and last days. I’m going to miss Julia this weekend. Actually I’m not too well and wonder if cancelling might not be a good idea. Lis left about 3.15 and amazingly Mike still hadn’t arrive to schmooze her. He came about 3.30 and I’d just boiled the kettle. The reason for his lateness….he put his stomach first and stopped on the way to eat. Some priorities eh? He let me do a little work while he drank his coffee and filled my ears with his doings over this week.                            At 7.00 he offered to trim my hair and beard and accidentally let slip that Yvonne has asked him to since I hadn’t been happy at how I looked in some photographs on my last birthday. After that he helped me shave and washed my hair for me. By the time I got out of the shower I was cruppered and short of breath. Quite a few pains today whinge whinge moan. We chatted and watched TV until 10.00pm when I came through to 102 messages that have taken till now to clear. In two minutes time it will be my birthday. Far too old for a woman which is just as well as I’ve forgotten what to do with them. One minute to go so I’ll say goodnight and try to finish my book.

Saturday. The Official Birthday. It’s very important that any of you suffering from heart conditions, distended hemerrhoids or shock related alopecia take a seat before reading this.

1) I got up at 6.28 am today!!!!!!

2) When I went through to make a coffee ( without looking at emails) I found a card waiting, it was soft and nicely worded without an insult in sight even though knowing it was from Mike I turned it upside down, shook it and heated it with the steam from the kettle.

3) When his alarm went off at 7.00 I took a coffee through and asked him who he was and what he’d done with my bro. He did grunt a bit but was actually up at 7.05 without me resorting to violence.

I dealt with the bins and assorted recycling bags, opened some cards and gifts, drank my coffee, washed and dressed then worked on messages until a voice asked if I was ready to go out. It had only just gone 7.30 and despite my reluctance to leave 64 messages not dealt with I threw my coat on and we left. We drew up to the Supermarket at 8.00 and the place didn’t collapse. I managed to clear the food shopping quite quickly but a fair bit of time was spent looking for a picture frame for some artwork and a couple of other items. No joy so we had a coffee and left. We went to a retail park called The Greyhound and chased through a few shops till loo break called then we resumed the search. Still no joy. As time was getting on I suggested lunch and we found ourselves in Frankie & Benny’s. The prices were steep paying nearly £25 for two breakfasts and two drinks, but the service is always good there. On leaving I asked if we could nip into the pet shop where I wanted to look at the baby rats. They’re so pretty, Mike looked at the fish instead suggesting rats were only good in a sandwich. The box of dog food I threw missed and we were evicted. There was one shop left on the return journey to the car and I nipped in on the off chance. Not only did I get a picture frame but Mike found a box that may be suitable for something I want.          Before we could go home we had to pay a visit to Temptations so off we went to Flint. I got some chocolates from the car boot and followed Mike inside. As I reached the end of the shop where the cafe is I heard “Hello beautifuls” from Ceri before the staff started singing Happy Birthday. You could have warmed your hands on my cheeks and my face was warm too…… We ordered and the coffee came but no money was accepted, the speed of putting that cash back in my wallet would have delighted a racing driver, it was so fast Queen Victoria hadn’t had time to blink in the light. Mike and I sat at our table and he bantered with Ceri as she worked. Once the queue had gone she disappeared to the front of the shop and Helen came to give me a hug and kiss.Moments later Ceri reappeared with a card, a helium balloon which was attached to one of my crutches and a beautiful pen nicely wrapped. It was from all the staff there. They’re a wonderful bunch and there’s no doubt why the place is so popular. Leaving was fun as the balloon was bobbing about my head to the amusement of the other patrons. I’m surprised I didn’t need an entertainment licence. Behind me all the way to the car was this vague suspicion of a snigger. The snigger drove me home. One of the neighbours came out to bring a parcel the post van had left and commented on me having a birthday  she didn’t know about. No chance of hiding it today. Mike and I put the shopping away and I left him fitting the new TV box while I came through. It took a couple of hours to get rid of the 64 messages left this morning. Time for a break so I made tea and we tested the ‘catch up’ capabilities of the new box by watching an episode of The Tomorrow People we’d missed. It worked fine. Just a bit of a film later and the lure of the computer took over and I had to leave. I had countless Facebook messages and 142 emails. The screams echoed off the walls. So far it’s been three and a half hours  and I’m close to quitting only we’re well into Sunday now and maybe if I sleep late enough I won’t have to go out.  For the first time I am not looking forward to meeting up for lunch with the family as I don’t know what to expect. When I have no control it worries me. Don’t get me wrong, I love them all but I don’t like surprises much  and there’s been such insistence I go to this place  it makes me wonder why.  Wonder if I can do it by phone call?

Anyway, I wish you all a happy week. Be safe. Hugs x…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Happy Man

 

Snug Man.

Pink Whales and Nightingales

Sunday. My night was very short but the darkness certainly wasn’t. When I first grudgingly got up it was pitch black but once I remembered to turn the computer screen on things improved no end. I sorted the mail and answered the comments on the blog before heading off at 8.am for my coffee. As I came back through I decided to get dressed in case Mike got up soon. I know he’d actually turned the TV off early last night and I could see him seemingly fast asleep when I nipped to the loo before midnight. It seemed a good idea to perhaps ‘tweak’ a few of Yvonne’s poems and print them out to see how they looked so I made a start but was ready to see to Mike’s coffee when he wrote. The trouble I had….last week I’d replaced an ink and something had gone CLUNK I couldn’t see what it was but the printer still worked though with a terrible background noise. Today I had to change another ink after the first printing. It took ages to get the new ink in, and then even longer to shut the lid. As I printed the second poem off something seemed not right at all, there were two pink whales instead of bluey-black and on the third I had a pink dragon though I could get away with that as it was female. By number four I’d lost the last three hairs on my head and had a pink black widow spider. I didn’t print more, just designed and saved them. Next week I’ll have to test Ju’s old printer which hasn’t been touched in a couple of years. Throughout all this Mike hadn’t moved a muscle except the one that he uses to snore which was in overdrive. At 10.10 am I took a coffee through and got a grunt. I became engrossed in some more mail and at 10.50  still just am, he finally appeared looking like death’s ugly brother. It took some doing to motivate him to be ready to go out at mid-day.                                                                                                                     We decided to head back to the cafe from last week, The Ivy Emporium because the reception had been so nice. Things hadn’t changed. The owner is an exceptionally nice man and I can say the same about his wife, (not that she’s a nice man you fool, just that she’s nice), I managed to have a good natter about Titterton’s pork pies and about Heaton Chapel where we’d both lived. Also today there was a waitress and didn’t Mike’s eyes light up when he saw her. What did mine do you ask, never you mind. When I went to pay at the end of the meal she complimented me on my beard, Mike corrected her and said it was a food retainer. Things went from bad to worse at that point with the jokes ( mainly at my expense of course) and we left there laughing. As she’s a budding writer I left my email address in case she needs any help.               Mike dropped me off at home as usual and left to visit his father and this week his sister who’s birthday it was yesterday. We joke about how much older than me she is. You would only find the rest of my day boring, I know I did. Mail and TV in the main and all I remember is a Sherlock Holmes. Now time for a bit of book.

Monday. It didn’t take me long to realise I was still tired this morning. Once the mail was up to date at 7.am I saw to fish and tabs and sat with a coffee in the lounge but keeping the light off. No sooner had I finished the drink than the soft sawing sound of my Zzz’s were drifting though the room. I was away. It was light when I woke at 8.30 so I made another coffee, a bit stronger this time and went back to the computer. Once up to date again I got dressed though I’d no intention of going out today. The wind and rain were awful. I played yo-yo all morning between my chair and nodding off, and my computer to keep abreast of the mail. I had one late morning that told me we used to communicate but she’d had to change her profile, if I would like I could see the latest ‘dirty’ pictures of  her on the new profile. Why she thought I’d be interested in looking at pictures of an unwashed woman I don’t know.                                                                                                                                                                                                            For lunch I had a shepherd’s pie, I hope he never finds out who pinched it. Almost immediately afterwards I was asleep again. That didn’t last too long as the cigarette I was smoking burned my finger and dropped to the floor. Even so, I bet it was just ten minutes before I was away again. I didn’t see a complete TV program all day. At a few minutes to 8.0pm I came through to catch up on mail and hopefully grab an early night. No matter the sleep I had today I’m still yawning. Unfortunately there’s been a lot of mail and most of it very interesting so I’m just past 11.0 pm now. I’m determined to have a short read then try for sleep. I need better weather tomorrow in order to meet Yvonne.

Tuesday. After getting up early and seeing off the mail which included two notices about unexpected use on the Barclaycard  I don’t have, I got dressed and sat nervously deciding about going to see Yvonne and Reuben. Do I go now and force myself out the door or sit and think about it a bit longer.  It’s not raining so I decide to strike while the iron’s hot, or more accurately before I turn chicken, cluck, cluck. Texted her to say meet me at ten or would you prefer I came straight to the house. She answered ten was fine and told me where the new Costa Coffee House is. Within ten minutes I cursed my memory when I found the kids were back at school and the bus stop was jammed with them. Before I was able to turn round and go back their bus arrived and I was surrounded by about six million excited, chattering pushing and shoving monsters little darlings. My own bus drew up and I all but collapsed on the step but I saw the driver lower it for me to make it easier. I swiped my card and occupied the disabled seat ( seat for the disabled, there’s nothing wrong with the seat itself). I got out my MP3 player to avoid conversation and relaxed with my eyes shut. I got through two songs and the battery ran out so I covered where the red light would be and sat swaying like Stevie Wonder so no-one would know. A very tense hour and a quarter later we arrived and no-one had tried to speak to me. With my sense of rhythm they perhaps thought I was having a fit so stayed well clear. The young lady on the seat behind me did help me get my haversack back on though.                                                                                                                                                                                                     We went to the Costa and I gave Yvonne the new outfit I’d bought for Reuben and the flower stickers I’d bought to go on the hallway wall ( only if she wanted). Lastly I brought out some of the poems I’ve been doing for Reuben’s book after deciding some of the ones I did for Yvonne may not be suitable. I was OK she loved them. She started a diet today to get rid of the residual baby fat so there were no cakes with coffee today. We enjoyed a wander and a further drink before lunchtime though this time she had water with slices of lemon. I gave Reuben some of his milk. As we walked on afterwards to get some bread to take home we picked up a few bits here and there. After getting the bread and emptying the baby food section and fruit section we stopped for lunch……well I stopped for lunch. Yvonne asked for a pot of tea for me and a bacon roll( a good swap some my say) but was told I could have a cup or a mug and there was no bacon left. I settled for a mug and had a pastie. A few minutes before we got up to leave the waitress brought sausage and bacon sandwiches to the table next to us.Guess where I won’t be going again. One more shop on the way home and I found a great pair of shoes in the sale for Ugo. It’s a shame I see so little of him.                                                                                                                                                                             I watched the monster while Yvonne made me a cuppa at home. We’d been 6 hours shopping, she’s a terrible girl leading me astray like this. Ugo arrived home about 5.30 and by 6.00 was ready to run me home stopping on the way for chips which just he and I enjoyed much to Reuben’s dismay.I was able to give them some gifts I’d picked up on Saturday but couldn’t carry this morning. The usual moans ensued…………yada, yada, yada.                                                                                                                               After they left it was straight to the computer to find 149 messages waiting. A big ouch. It was getting on for midnight before I was able to stop.

Wednesday. A terrible night last night, I couldn’t get to sleep as I was constantly getting cramp in my feet and had to keep walking around. I felt like Marley’s ghost. It must have been at least two before I was able to try again and succeed. So I lay my head down and at a quarter to five my bladder decided it was time for another walk. That woke me up. So I had 39 messages brought over from last night, I’m so glad I didn’t refresh then plus 78 of this mornings. I’d almost finished when I left to do my morning ritual at 8.00am. I followed up by getting ready to go out to the chemist and to pick up some fresh baps from Pauline’s. The bread I’d got yesterday was awful. While out I decided not to cook a meal but to get a ham salad bap for lunch and a pastie or sausage roll for my tea. That actually worked out well for me today and I think I might add the ingredients to my shopping list and do that as much as possible next week. The salad will be good for me and OMG I feel faint, what’s wrong with my brain? I’ve actually spent most of the day on the computer apart from lunchtime after which I managed an hours sleep but as usual at 5.00 I came through for The Mentalist. I’d seen it before so turned over for the Great Antiques Road Trip. I couldn’t help laughing at the experts who bought goods to take to auction which they promptly made a loss on, all except the last item, a picture frame the expert had paid £100 for. It looked like it may go for £50 when there was a sudden surge in bidding and it went for £300. He ended the day with a profit. Another antique program Flog It followed that and I watched as I ate my pastie and some pineapple pieces. It was just after that Dil and Matt appeared like two drowned rats. The weather has been awful all afternoon again. I’m glad they live atop a hill too. We had two games of Scrabble as usual but I could only cheat my way to a win in one. Then it was time to bring out the Newmarket Board we’d recently made,  raid Reuben’s copper jar and teach Matt how to play. I swear he must have been a professional gambler in a previous life. It took a while before I started showing a profit. Next week I’m hoping for Nomination Whist but Matt wants to teach me poker. After they left about 9.30 and yes it was still raining I came back to see to messages. Barclay’s are obviously worried about the activity on my Barclaycard but I’m not worried as I haven’t opened an account since this morning. However, I am frankly getting worried about two other things. 1) One woman is getting very blatant in wanting to know if I want some ‘FUN’ with her but she didn’t leave an address, and 2) Some poor soul in Africa has lost her husband and is now dying herself. before she goes she wishes to entrust to me the £2,000,000 her husband left as she knows I’ll be sure to pass it on to deserving churches for her. I’m worried the amounts are getting so much smaller these days, is it really going to be worth my while, and why should she think I would pass it on to churches when I’m the most irreverent person you can imagine. Right, two mins to midnight, I’m going to have a quick read.

Driver 69

If the cap fits…….

Thursday. Though I did rise early I felt I wasn’t quite ready today so about 6.30 when the mail was done I leaned over slightly and was back on the bed. Next thing I knew it was 7.40 and the fish were sending mental messages not to forget them. To save myself being confronted by a very large unhappy fish one day I didn’t. I’m kind to spiders too just in case I ever meet the eight foot queen who knows how her subjects have fared. In this life it doesn’t pay to take chances. Good advice for my Aussie friends there. After ensuring my good karma for the rest of the day I took my meds, arranged the meds for the rest of the week and then made myself a Columbian Coffee I haven’t yet tired of my toy and the varieties I can buy though many of the tastes are indistinguishable to me unless it’s a crema and I can look forward to a silly moustache. I don’t know why as I already own one of those. That meant I didn’t get back to my mail until about 8.30 by which time some poor postman with too many in his sack had dumped another 87 in my box and I’m sure they weren’t all mine. Regardless of that I worked my way through them even dumping the ones with titles like ‘Hey baby, we could have a real good time’ as Balderdash just isn’t as much fun with 2 players. It was gone ten o’clock when I checked the lottery and had my hopes dashed, there are two rich people with £54,000,000 each in France and Spain now. I wonder if they can read begging letters in English? I decided I’d better get ready to go out and buy the Eurolottery ticket for Friday despite the prize being just a measly £12,000,000. I suppose it would do if I’m careful.  I bought three scratchcard as well and won £2 so I’m not sure if that’s a sign my lucky streak is starting or a sign I’ll end up bankrupt.                                                                                                                                      At home again I did a couple more poems with appropriate clip-art for Reuben but I can’t print them out until I get off my backside and check out this other printer. That’s a good job for the weekend if Mike comes. For lunch I had two baps with corned beef, tomato and coleslaw the effect of which I suppose was a little spoiled when I had a Kitkat for pudding. I turned TV on but couldn’t concentrate so I decided to examine my eyelids from the inside for a while. An hour later I slunk ashamed back to the computer for the next round of punishment. By 4.30 I was starting to nod over the keyboard so left the last couple and retired to the lounge. I was in time to see my antique experts repeat last night’s errors of judgement and make stupendous losses again. The evening flowed past in a jumble as I missed about twenty minutes of Law and Order Zzzzing then turned to Murder She Wrote which was plain boring. At 8.00 I gave up and came back through, changing into my dressing gown and have sat here since then with messages and post comments. Time for one more poem then a bit of Sir Terry Pratchett before trying to sleep.

Friday. I woke this morning with the distinct impression I’d heard nightingales. The main arguments against this are a) I have no idea how a nightingale sounds  and b) It was a bit off it’s Berkeley Square patch up here. There is no shelter from the flood, no wellingtons small enough for their feet and I doubt you’d get a sou’wester that size either. So why a nightingale you ask, and the only answer I can think of is these poxy dreams are trying to tell me something. I’d take a pad and pen to bed to record the dreams if it wasn’t likely that the writing time would probably coincide with the time I’m supposed to be asleep.                                                                                                                        Once I’d done battle with my messages first thing I followed my usual routine then came back to writing some more of the kids poetry- acceptable versions- I’m doing for Reuben. I have so many questions about publishing a small book of poetry with illustrations in the form of clipart like is the cost of producing books with pictures very expensive for readers to buy? Is it better to do a paperback, a hardback or even a board book? I’m hopeful an old friend of mine will be able to answer my questions from her vast store of knowledge.I’m even a bit confused about the best size since I’ve been doing the work as A4 so far. I wonder if something like this may be more acceptable to a traditional publisher or whether I should just continue with the pattern of self-publishing I’ve done with my other books. Maybe I should just concentrate on one copy for Reuben alone. Anyway, I think I managed 3 more before returning to the messages and catching up. I went to get two pints of milk in case Mike decides to come and ended up buying two bottles of wine. I don’t even drink???  Naturally I clanged all the way home and drew a few looks and knowing nods from the locals. Lunchtime came and I had a small braised steak and mash and settled down with the TV for an hour. I went straight to sleep, did not pass go and did not collect £200. I was woken by a sound from my phone ad saw my eyes had been closed for about twenty minutes. A message from Mike ‘On my Way’. I shot off back to my room again as there’s no way I can deal with messages once he arrives and I don’t want tons for tonight. At 2.05 he arrived, his afterburner was still hot as the three hour journey had taken 2 hours 10 minutes. A clear road was the only explanation my raised eyebrow got. My brother Dil had bought me some top quality ground coffee for Christmas so I took it through to the kitchen, demanded Mike got on his knees to me and make him search the cupboard for my cafetiere. It’s a very small size and has a knitted cardigan just like me. I made him a coffee and parted with a biscotti then went to sit in the lounge with him. I’m pretty sure he finished his coffee before he fell asleep (How rude) which was just before I did likewise. The trick is to wake first and then when he apologises for being so rude you can claim the moral high ground without being caught. A little later I did roast beef, boiled new potatoes in a herb butter and garden peas for tea which we shared though I could only have a small portion having eaten a meal already, then I had a great big barm cake to mop up the gravy. We watched our usual quizzes before I went for a shower and left Mike putting extra holes in my new belt ( bought Tuesday) even though he kept insisting the belt didn’t need more holes but an extension. He’ll pay for that. I stayed up chattng and watching Body of Proof until 10.00 when I had to excuse myself. 101 messages awaited me which I’ve managed to finish. No reading tonight I think, it’s almost time to get up again.

Saturday. I’m pretty sure I managed a full ten minutes sleep before it was time to haul my weary ass out of bed. (I did warn him he was taking up too much room.) I nipped to the loo and could hear Mike driving the sheep home with a vengeance. Still, I’ve no time to do anything about that now, my audience awaits. It was actually a nice manageable amount this morning and I was finished, washed and dressed before 7.00am. I was enjoying a drink when Mike’s alarm went off  It went on a bit longer than usual before I heard it crash to the floor but I was pretty sure he was awake so I made his coffee and took it through. Wrong, he was back to sleep. “Coffee’s up” I told him and left, knowing that his alarm is on a ten minute repeater.At quarter past there was no repeat alarm and no sound of movement so I headed back to his doorway and called in “Don’t let your coffee get cold Bro.” All I got in return was “Leave me alone, alone, alone” like some demented echo but I knew he’d heard me. I saw to the bins and braved the pouring rain to put the recycling sacks out too. At 7.30 I had one last go, “Coffee’s cold now Mike” and then moved away fast before some language tainted me delicate ears. Within minuted though He did join me. I did a last check of my mail and found one from Apple to say someone had just downloaded a game on my account in Taiwan did I need to change my password. I tried but at first it refused to accept my D.O.B so I had to say I’d forgotten my sign in so they’d send an email I could link to. Apple are a pain, they must have been breached because I don’t use the account online. I’m forever getting messages to say I need to change my password which I do but never through the link in the message.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We did the shopping but after a late start had to play catch up. We managed pretty well and were able to have a drink in Flint complete with sexual banter as usual.  While shopping I’d bought a lot of salad stuff with the intention of having salad baps for my lunches next week. I realise Australia is in shock at the news but wait for this, I also bought myself a Breville Blend Active. I thought it might be nice to make myself some fruit smoothies or milkshakes. Can anyone tell me if chocolate is a fruit or a vegetable please?

Thank you to my fellow blogger from whom I pinched this idea.

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After we unpacked the shopping at home we went for lunch so we could deliver some gifts to friends at Kassidy’s. It was nice to see Chris and be able to say we were sorry about her Dad’s passing. From lunch we wen’t to Colwyn Bay to see our friend who it seems is unwell again and has had a few falls. We had a nice couple of hours with him and went to visit my niece Karen to see her latest decor idea using things from the film The Wizard of Oz. It’s looking very impressive. Leaving her to get ready for work we came home . I plowed into my mail while Mike rang my phone company to see if he could get me a better deal and their TV package.I ended up a couple of pounds better off a month and got the extra. We had tea, watched an odd programme on sounds followed by a remake of The Tomorrow People which I remember from years ago. Mike had to go out to meet an old flame  and I’ve come back through to spend my Saturday night in my usual fashion (You slavedrivers). Before I go, I’d like to leave you with a rare photograph of Nikita Kruschev.

That Kruschev look.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One further thing….. The beautiful Virginia Llorca of Fine Whine  http://www.dittymac.blogspot.co.uk/ sent me a picture today which she maintains is me ! I’ll leave it to your good selves to be the judge of her outrageous libel. As If I couldn’t find a rhyme !

Rhyme and Reason?

In my post on April  11th I mentioned how difficult I’ve been finding it to locate certain things.  I was starting to wonder if Ju was sending me a message. For instance, when we cleared the garage , Yvonne, Ugo and I created piles for me, the Hospice Charity shops and for Muriel/John ( hereinafter called MuJo). When MuJo came I took them round to the garage, we’d found literally boxes of Ju’s horse figurines and I wanted her to have her choice. I’d put some watercolour paintings to one side for John as I know he likes them, but could they be found? Not a cat in hell’s chance. Either they’d evaporated or some wild rats have discerning taste in nest decor.

Whenever Christmas rolled around Ju would clear the decks to make way for the decorations. My collections on display would disappear and I’d be told they’d be back when the decorations were packed away. That never seemed to happen just as last years tree never seemed to re-appear. The loft ( please God I don’t have to clear that out ) must be full of Christmas trees and collections of old inkwells etc. But, the thing that had most puzzled me was Julia’s laptop bag. It and it’s contents had faded into thin air. I’d torn clumps of hair from my rapidly receding widow’s peak trying to find them. I tried to follow Ju’s logic as to where it would be since it wasn’t actually with the laptop which naturally enough was tucked down beside the settee. OK, I had to admit defeat as women’s logic was always beyond me.  But in wanting to give things to the family to remember Ju I have a niece who crafts and that bag contained lots of crafting DVD’s.

On Thursday when Yvonne was with me I’d gone to the pantry and a flash of yellow had caught my eye. I visit the pantry multiple times daily for the accoutrements to cooking or to deposit rubbish in the bin and before Thursday- Nada, but there it was, the flash of yellow. Reaching through the accumulated brushes, ancient hoovers, pan stands and a lightbulb collection that would do a lighthouse justice, I grasped the object in question and out came the upside down laptop bag complete with the DVD’s I wanted. Checking through there was no sign of the also missing tablet bought some months ago. Back to the pantry I went and soon had it in hand. I’m not sure if it still works, or how it works and will have to rely on my nephew’s expertise. He’ll tell me if it’s a toy I need or whether someone else can use it better. The DVD’s will now be able to go to a good home too. But PLEASE someone, explain to me the logic behind having a laptop bag, upside down in a pantry of all places and why it chose to reveal itself at that moment. At some stage I may have to explain to someone why I didn’t decide to look in there purposely as they wearily tap their feet and say, “Huh, s’obvious innit?”.

That Was the Week that Was

Normally I’d post on a Wednesday to let you know how the horse riding has gone, and how the smile goes from horse to Ju to me. This week hasn’t been like that.

On Tuesday night Ju started to feel some breakthrough pain. She’d taken her normal tablets  and then her emergency ones without getting any ease. By 11.00pm she was really hurting. There was no choice but to call the out of hours service and get the Marie Curie Nurses. Because of the stupidity of our system they had quite a distance to cover from another Shire and arrived at 12.15am. By 12.20 am she’d had an injection of morphine and I hoped she’d sleep. The nurses left about 1.00am and as Ju seemed to be resting I went to bed. By 2.00 am she was in obvious distress again and was now being sick as well,  so it was back on to the service. Ju hates being sick and is quite prepared to stop fighting when that happens. The first team were out on another job so they’d send our local team out. Local? So why send those from far away first time round? We had a phone call back saying they’d leave as soon as the’d spoken to a doctor about the dosage Ju was allowed. I was able to tell them the dosage and frequency so they set off.

By 2.30 am the second dose of morphine had been administered but we were worried about the sickness. The Marie Curie Nurses said they asked the doctor about that too and he was coming. He arrived and gave her an injection of something to get rid of the nausea. He was obviously a little annoyed he couldn’t get round the bed easily because of Ju’s crafting stuff and suggested I might like to clear it. I bit my tongue and said I’d see when someone could do it. I didn’t think gone 3.00 am was a good time to start and he did’t need access there and then.I was probably a little tired. Anyhoo, by 4.00am they’d all gone so I made myself a coffee and sat watching Ju for a while while she slept.

I decided to get my head down about 5.00 am. I managed to fall asleep until 7.50 am when it was time to get up and see to the girls. I gave them a chocolate drop each and then feeling very guilty walked round apologising that ‘Mummy’ wouldn’t be getting them out to play today. I’m sure there were some glares thrown at me so I passed them all a Shreddie with a little milk on. Time to turn the fish on, I’ll rephrase that in case you think I’m wearing my fishnet stockings, time to turn the lights on the fish tank. Then it’s my meds and a coffee. I took a cup of tea through to Ju and she was awake but sore and tired. Time to phone and cancel riding for today. She’s been invited on one on Sunday again so I reckon it’s too early to cancel that. Wednesday her normal meds seemed to hold her but she stayed in bed for the day holding court with one visitor after another and gossiping with Yvonne who’d come to look after her precious Mum.

Thursday. Ju seemed to have no overnight problems and we both got some rest. I took her tea through and suggested she might like to get up for a while so I could change her bedding. She sat in the lounge talking to the girls but didn’t take them out again. I was in and out answering emails or nipping to the shops for a paper and some lunch. It was late morning I saw her pick up the phone and she rand the doctors to ask for a visit. I was puzzled as she hadn’t complained, but she said the pain was back. He came but persuaded her to stick to the tablets for the day and if things hadn’t improved by 5.00pm to phone him again. That was kind, and she didn’t need to. She struggled a bit overnight but no nurses were called out.

Friday. For some reason I was up answering emails at 4.30 am today. I didn’t go through to the lounge until 8.00pm and was shocked to see at least 4 inches of snow on the ground. Where the heck did tht come from? A rhetorical question honestly. And it was still snowing. I gave the girls a chocolate drop or maybe gave one girl 4 chocolate drops since I couldn’t actually look them in the eye so guilty did I feel. Ju and I normally shop early on a Friday so they don’t get their playtime but they’ve missed so much this week. I took a cuppa through and Ju wasn’t looking well. I had my meds, got a coffee and cancelled the Sunday ride. Her MacMillan Nurse arrived and gave her a morphine injection with an anti nausea one. Fair play she did balance it out, one in each arm. Then she left for a while. I went to the shops for my Euro Lottery ticket which is going to make me filthy rich tonight- no, dammit, I can afford soap. There was no way I could do my shopping with the snow and with Ju ill. The paper says 36 hours of this weather with maybe 12″ of snow. Oh Joy !

Ju had some toast for lunch and another cup of tea, that’s all I could get her to try. Then the district nurses arrived. There are always two so I’m sure one comes to hold the handbags. In all honesty they’re great. They brought a driver to attach to Ju so she gets a continuous feed of morphine to kill the pain. Most of the afternoon it seems to have been working but I know when they come to change it tomorrow Ju or I will have to tell them the pain had broken through by this evening. So, currently I haven’t been shopping so haven’t been able to get to the bank. Even If I had cash there’s nothing to buy round here for dinner. We’ll be sharing the rat’s food for the weekend unless a friend can take me shopping tomorrow or I can find a taxi willing to take me to a cash machine first. Of course once I tell them I’ve won 80m on the lottery they’ll be keen to help won’t they? I’m hoping against hope that Ju will at least be able to get out of bed tomorrow even if she can’t go out.( and do my shopping for me). Maybe she can allow the girls half an hour out of their cage. But most of all I want her free of this pain and fighting again beside me.I HATE this Cancer.

Quietness.

I’ve found myself being rather quiet recently. Conversation isn’t coming easily as I don’t much feel like being flippant. But in life, things have a way of catching you out don’t they? After the shock of last week I’d placed an advert on a degu site asking for a home for the three degu girls. I realised that it would be impossible for Julia to cope when I brought her home. As I’m quite allergic to them ( and the rats) there’s not much I could do either when it came to cleaning. But lets face it, I’m a man and never realise when things need cleaning anyway. I’d also added to the advert that I had the rats too and if anyone was interested………. All I’d specified was that I wanted someone fairly local so that we could keep an eye if needed and they didn’t have far to travel.

Unexpectedly I got an immediate answer and had messaged the young man who replied. Julia had been home a few hours when I mentioned the degus would have to go, I was pleased when she agreed (reluctantly) which was just as well because he arrived. Within half an hour the degus had gone and  I was sure it was to a good home. While he was here he saw the girls and said ” About your mention of the rats in the advert. I’d like them too.” I saw Ju’s face change and begin to crumple. As I went through to my room to get something she followed and tearfully asked that the girls not go just yet. What could I do? But, as luck would have it, he’d come in a car and the girl’s cage is quite a good size and would not slide into the car upright. I couldn’t let him take the cage on it’s back as the girls would be standing on wire rather than their solid base. After explaining that Ju was reluctant to say goodbye to them just yet I pointed out that they’d be safe and still here for him later. He left with that promise.

Since then, Ju has risen every morning without fuss to play with them before they go to bed. As she’s usually the one to open the cage while I make her a cuppa, the routine goes like this.

Priya will run straight for Ju’s dressing gown sleeve.

Bernie will go straight for the opening at the neck and wander down to her waist. Sometimes Ju sits down on the settee then until they emerge again. Then it’s up to the cage.

Penny will climb out onto the top of the cage and then onto Ju’s shoulder while Amy will tuck herself into one of the tubes they sleep in and wait to be lifted out. I will deliver Ju’s cuppa and then go back to take my meds. That done I have to pour myself a bowl of cereal because of the diabetes ( at least that’s the excuse) and go sit on the settee. Bernie will have been sitting on the arm in anticipation of my arrival. I have to give them each a shreddie on my spoon and they run off to hide and eat them. I daren’t take a mouthful yet as it’s not long before they return. Bernie first for her second one which suffices followed by Amy, Priya and Penny in quick succession and only after they’ve taken their third one can I carry on.

Ju uses this interval to take her tablets and a drop of her tea. My part in the performance is usually over in five minutes and it’s play time for a while with them raiding pockets for tissues to play tug of war with or running in and out of dressing gowns. There’s a blanket over the back of the settee and they love crawling under it. Eventually I’m off duty and Ju takes over again as the drinks lady.

Here’s Priya with a cup of tea.

For the not too squeamish, here’s Penny getting her breakfast the cheeky way.

Me fighting for food with Penny.

  There are some very distinctive styles of drinking. Penny will always cup the liquid in her hand and bring it to her mouth like a gentile lady. Bernie’s quite happy just to stick her nose straight in. Priya on the other hand tries both as if she’s unsure what she should do. Amy is always on guard so she’ll pass it from hand to mouth too. Then usually she’s straight up on her back legs to check for danger in the air. maybe she expects the Red Baron to appear.

Half an hour is about as much as Ju can take of playtime now but I’m so pleased she still shows the same interest. The biggest surprise for me is her determination to maintain the riding. So, on Wednesday afternoon we’re off to see if she can actually cope. We can only attend the RDA stables as they’ve got a mechanical hoist to get riders to horse level. Great news on the charity front though as our friends at a local cafe have a giant teddy bear they’re going to raffle off for Pennant Park Wishes and we’ve just heard that planning permission has been granted and building is about to start. All those that have donated to the Riding for the Disabled Charity at Pennant Park have my     undying thanks. I’ll let you all know how Wednesday goes.

Interlude

It’s been a funny old day. First thing this morning a friend took me shopping and it went well. I got what I wanted, she spoke to the staff for me and I paid. We came home and she left after which I expected a very relaxing day. If I ever find out who jinxed me heaven help them.

A knock at the door this afternoon. Normally I’d be on the computer and able to hide away and ignore the sound. Today I was just passing the door which has a half glazed panel. I had to open the door to a 6’4″ skinny giant. Thankfully I didn’t have to speak as he introduced himself as the council electrician come to repair a pull light and an electrical socket. He was a nice man and after being pointed towards the bathroom went to get his tools and proceeded to fix a new string to the light. I spoke long enough to enquire if he needed a ladder only for him to laugh and just reach up. It was only moments before the job was done. On to the next job.

Passing through he saw the cages and asked how many rats I have. “Four” I answered “and three degus”. “Three what?” he asked but was such a helpful man I didn’t have to speak as he answered his own question “Oh, these delightful little chaps” he said. Please bear that in mind.

The second job was a socket in the kitchen. The story starts about two months ago when Ju asked me if our fridge had a light. I told her of course it did and she said in that case the fridge is defrosting. Such sarcasm and it beat me saying that we were due anyway. So, I checked out the plug and put in a new fuse and tried again. No joy.

With food defrosting and panic setting in I decided the fridge must be defunct. Off we went and spent a pleasant £83 on a new one. We get it home and know it has to stand in place for five hours so I manhandle the old one outside and Ju rings for it to be collected as rubbish. My old friend complete with midge fragnets looks quite forlorn outside the front door.

Five hours later Ju plugs in the new fridge and asks me if there’s meant to be a light. Aargh. I try it in a different socket and lo’ it comes on. Getting an extension cable I push the fridge into it’s new home. Now I have two working fridges one which is due to be scrapped and it’s cost me a fortune to find out I have a faulty socket. So, the nice man comes to mend it. ” You do know about the defrost switch we put in for fridges don’t you?” he asked. I shook my head dimly. Moving aside some trays he points to what I always thought was an immersion heater switch. He presses it and the socket becomes operational again. Just putting a tray back must have knocked it off. All the time he was here I heard about his two dogs, 5 cats, wife, children and their appetites which he’d swap for a cage of rats. I thanked him with some sweets for his children.

That’s it. I’m officially out to the world now while I finish my mail. That done I return to the kitchen and realise the fish tank is dark because I forgot to turn it on this morning,. A rush of apologies there and a little food and I’m forgiven.Going back through I realise I need to give the girls clean water and some food. Bernie and Priya are first for a treat but Amy and Peny aren’t far behind. With Amy I have to be quick as she snatches and doesn’t mind a bit of finger. Odd, as when she’s out she’s nervy but a perfect lady. There, everything OK in their world. Degu’s next.                                                           All three Saffy, Poppy and the one I can never remember, came flying towards the door as I brought food. They’re gregarious animals, very bright and like humans but very quick. I opened the door and inserted my hand to drop the food. As I did Saffy squeezed past and made a break for it. I dropped the food and shut the door again sharpish to keep the others in.

I sat down with a ball and a peanut and called Saffy. She’s so scared of me she strolled over and sat on my knee. Like a flash she had the peanut from my hands before I could drop it in the ball and make her go after it. I got some yoghurt drops and popped them inside the open ball while she watched me. Then, as calmly as you like she climbed down the side of the settee and disappeared into the kitchen. I spent almost an hour polishing the kitchen floor with my trouser knees but although she was happy to come to me when I called her name she was not going in the ball. Eventually I gave up and went back through to sit on the settee with another peanut in hand. I called her and like an angel she answered me. In the ball went the peanut and in the ball went Saffy. I picked the ball up and carried it to the cage. Dalmation ! I couldn’t open the door one handed. She thought I had it open and jumped ready to be a good girl and go in. Instead she hit the closed door and hopped it again.

I had to loosen the door enough to be able to open it one handed but not enough for her daughters to escape. Fifteen minutes later Saffy followed a yoghurt drop into the ball and I was able to get the cage open and her in. As I did, the one I can’t remember jumped straight into the ball expecting to be allowed to go for a roll round. I’m sure she was disappointed when she was manhandled straight back into the cage. I’d had enough degu chasing for one day and I’d missed my Big Bang Theory. So much for a peaceful day.