Tag Archives: NCIS

A Tablet too big to Swallow & Clock That

Sunday. Un-flipping-believable. After the excitement of last night and counting the generation down from me in my nephews house (Shudder) I woke up this morning at 3.51 am. By the time 6.00 am came round I was almost up to date with work and considered trying a kip in my chair for an hour. Ha Ha, the gods do like to extract the Michael don’t they. I accidentally refreshed the mail box and between 4.00 and 6.00 am there were a further 73 messages. Don’t you lot ever sleep?  I carried on until    7.00 am then feeling rather grumpy ( yes Grumpypants time again) I went to feed the fish. My attitude was that they’d better behave today if they wanted to be fed. They did, they were. I took my meds, decided against breakfast so just made a coffee to take back to my room with me. There’s not much chance Mike will want one yet.

At 8.00 am Mike’s alarm went off surprisingly. I don’t know whether he had visions of a car boot this morning but though the sun is out there’s a real nip in the air. I needn’t have worried, he turned the alarm straight off and turned over. I just carried on working. I was actually just coming to an end at 9.30 am when I heard him padding out of his room. I hope he remembered his slippers as he cut his nails in the lounge last night and maintains they’re tougher than mine. I made him a coffee and listened for the screams. He showed absolutely no interest in getting dressed or doing anything. I’d had a session of getting a song (or 2?) stuck in my head and couldn’t remember who it was by. I’d had no luck at finding it using the lyrics (I thought) I had and thought I’d try accessing his extensive musical brain catalogue ( Heaven knows there’s nothing else like sense that comes from up there so maybe the catalogue is true). Anyway. I told him thus…… It’s a pop record, in my head it sounds like it’s someone like Paul Young. all I seem able to remember is it roughly goes ‘Let my people go’, then there’s a chorus like ‘In the hands of the children’. I may have got two songs mixed up though. His brain was no help at all so he decided to repeat the lyric search I’d done and brought up lots of songs with ‘Let my people go’ in them. He played them all from Paul Robeson onwards asking “Is this the one?” to which I’d answer “Does that sound like a pop song?” Like a dog with a bone he wouldn’t let go. I went to my room and did a search of ‘In the hands of the Children” and came up with No Parlez by…Paul Young. It was the song but I’d certainly invented the Let my people go bit.

By now there’s no time to do anything so I asked if on the way to lunch we could call into somewhere just to price up their bookcases. “Sure” he said” all you have to do is tell if you want to do something.” “I’d rather ask, and I just did” I said. “Of course we can then”I got back. So at 11.30 am we finally got dressed and just before midday headed out. The cheapest bookcase there (though very nice) was £130. I’ll be going back to Argos I think. After there we headed straight off for lunch. Poor Angie looked a bit harassed and said there’d been a bit of a rush on. I don’t know if it’s something we said but things were quiet soon after we walked in. I placed the chocolates on the counter and she asked if we wanted the usual drinks.

Our regular seats were free so we were able to settle with the menu, though to be honest I would have preferred a meal. The drinks came and I took my pre-food tab and made ready to order. I’d asked Mike twice what he wanted but he seemed to be lost in space somewhere. I reminded him I’d had the tab and must eat within 15-20 mins so he snapped out of it and ordered. I was going to have some healthy bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches until Mike reminded me I’d probably have a sandwich at teatime so I had a big breakfast with an order of chips to share with Mike . It’s his fault. Tariq came over and had a few laughs with us then seeing the sunshine outside we went for a pre-lunch smoke. You really wouldn’t think the morning had been miserable with rain it was really hot in the sunshine. We came back in and ate. A lovely meal though for me it was very filling today. We joked around a bit more with Tariq and Shella then I got Angie to do the bill on the till while Tariq was otherwise occupied. I left plenty. Thinking that was that we started to leave and Angie came over to try and make me take the change despite my argument that I leave it as a tip. I’m having to run from her now too.

Mike ran me home, put is suitcase in the boot hugged me and left. I went straight on the computer. I was focusing when I jumped out of my skin as the door opened. It was him again. He’d only reached the end of the road before the urge for the loo hit him. He’s piggin’ lucky I didn’t hit him too. I worked till 5.00 pm and then went through for a break. I had some tea which I can’t describe to you or I’m likely to get arrested by the health police. Diabetic bah! I saw there was a film at 7.20 so came back to work until then. I sometimes don’t know why I bother.I think it was called Little Nick and ‘starred’ Adam Sandler. I didn’t last till 7.45 pm. I’m going to be polite and say Not my cup of tea rather than use some of the words I think it deserves and which might shock me if I use them. By 8.00 am I was back in here so tonight I’ve done the blog early and then I can do some mail but call it quits whenever I want to read.

Food gone, plate next!

Food gone, plate next!

See Mum, I've licked the pattern off it.

See Mum, I’ve licked the pattern off it.

 

Monday. Gordon Bennett, what’s happening?  It was 3.58 am when I looked at the clock this morning. I blinked and it was now 4.50 am. I was more tired than I had been the first time I looked. It’s obviously heavy work blinking. Yet I was in bed for 11.00  pm last night. I grant you I was reading but even so……  I made a strong start on my mail by deleting the first two in the queue when I saw they were addressed to ‘Dearest’ which is an indication that someone is out to con me.I wonder who told the conmen that it’s an appropriate form of address from one person to another and a male at that. Still, maybe that’s what bank managers in Burkino Fasso actually do to their customers. “I’m sorry Joshua Dearest but you can’t have a loan, how about entering a fraud with me. Oops no, you’re not in the UK are you. Bugger off.” I paused for a break at 6.15 am to fool the fish . When I turned the light on I had a shock, the fan tail was in the corner staring at me, and right next to him was his twin. It took me moments to realise I could see him from two different angles but I bet you he knew all along. Probably trying for twice the food.

I had my tablets etc and a slice of toast then decided to take my coffee through to work. OMG, a flippin’ great Septimus crossed my path. It was bigger than that one in the cave on Harry Potter. Bigger even than a tarantula. My hands already shake but have you ever tried jumping on a chair while carrying a coffee? It was like trying to contain a tidal wave within my mug. But, no need to polish the floors for another month, I didn’t spill anything even though the liquid would have kept the dust down. I looked around carefully to make sure the Septimus was not between me and the door and legged it. Well, that was the kick start my heart needed this morning. The problem now is can I get through to the kitchen or the lounge without being caught. Unless I actually see it outside and believe me it could open the front door without help, there’s not much chance of sleep tonight.

At 9.00 am I took my prescription request to the chemist. They often have new people and today there was a young Asian boy looking rather lost. I didn’t have the heart to ask for help though I am worried. There were only 4 items on my request and I’m sure there are usually much more. I’m sure I seemed to be OK for other stuff. Sometimes the prescription requests come back and show the date an item was last issued. That’s great as I can just reorder everything I had to order on the same date last time. The dates were missing this time. I do get confused with my drugs I’m afraid, I take so damned many. The sun was shining despite a poor forecast. Things change so quickly, a few days ago it predicted storms for Tuesday but now it says showers and some sunshine. I’m not going to see Yvonne and Reuben tomorrow so I shall be dry regardless unless it rains all the time Pauline’s is open as I need fresh baps.

I worked until lunch-time then sat watching my Antiques programme with a lunch of braised beef, new (Welsh) potatoes with carrots and peas, followed by a Rolo pudding. After I washed the pots I went back to work until 2.15 pm and thought I’d watch NCIS. I recall seeing little bits of it through frequently closing eyelids. It was a struggle in which I gave way far too easily. It was almost 3.20 pm before I woke. I decided to work on until I was up to date then see if there was anything I wanted on the box. I was up to fate at 6.45 pm. I had the last half of an old Big Bang Theory ( but luckily their best one) and then put on a Murder She Wrote for no other reason than the other choices were worse. At 8.00 pm I was actually glad to turn the box off and come through to battle on. I’ve been reading some amazing information about WWI and the forthcoming celebrations(?)  http://dearkitty1@wordpress.com  has done many posts on it and other subjects, she’s never been known to be boring. There was an excellent one on Nurse Edith Cavell for whom there is to be a £5 commemorative coin. Anyway, plenty to go at. I’ll finish here and go attack it afresh for one last burst.

Tuesday.Before you ask it was 3.47 am today. I got out of bed wide awake and laid into the messages but by 7.00 am I was flagging. How nice a kip would have been just at that moment, but certainly not while the fish wait to be fed. For all I know Septimus is theirs and I don’t want to wake up with him covering my nose and mouth as a warning. That was the spider decider so I went and fed the fish. It seemed pointless going in and not taking my meds which in turn seemed sill to take them and not take the food one so of course I had to have breakfast which led to two more tablets so I had my coffee and went back to my room. By  now of course I’m totally revived or maybe it’s more honest to say I’m totally spooked about Septimus in case he’s here still moving furniture around. There was no rush to get dressed this morning either since I’m not going to see Yvonne and Reuben. My get up and go has got up and gone.

At 9.00 am I dress and take a walk to Pauline’s for fresh bread and 100 other essentials. It doesn’t take too long and I’m back before the postman comes but heck, no parcel. Unless the van comes later I’ll have to be patient until tomorrow. Odd as it might seem I don’t treat myself very often so this tablet sees a big departure for me. I’m hoping it will stop me having to fret about mail when I’m out. Because this doesn’t have 3G Mike tells me it can’t be used as a phone, I can’t tell you how glad I am about that. The postman does bring me a questionnaire from the local Council though about upgrading their properties. Last year the tenants voted overwhelmingly to stay with the Council rather than a Housing Association. I think the Council were hoping to lose the properties because of the money some of them have to have spent on them and the costs of ongoing maintenance.

A message from Yvonne says she had to shop for a birthday gift without me and she didn’t enjoy it. Honest, I don’t pay her to say these things but I agree, mooching round the shops is better in company. At 12.00 pm I break off for lunch and have some micro chips with some chicken breast and coleslaw. I was able to have one of my nice fresh baps with it and make a great chip butty. Once the antiques programme was done at 1.0 pm I decided to come back to work until 2.15 pm the watch NCIS. I celebrated the decision with a Bourneville Ice Cream lolly. Mmmm, dark chocolate. A choc ice on a stick. I only just made NCIS but saw the title and slept through the rest. It was bound to be a repeat. So it was nearly 3.30 pm before I surfaced again. This time it didn’t take long to catch up so I guess half of you were also having siesta. By 5.00 pm I was able to go and see a new quiz on TV but I was also keeping an eye open for Ugo and Reuben as they’re coming for tea from the Chippie, and NO, I’m not indulging. It was about half an hour later they arrived and I could see through the window ( I must stop cleaning them) that Reuben was fast asleep against his dad’s chest and Ugo was pushing his trolley along. I went to open the door and help. As soon as I spoke to Ugo Reuben stirred, opened his eyes and grinned at me……….in the kind of Oh Goody, a new victim kind of grin. I helped them inside and Reuben was quite happy in my arms as we toured the mirror wall and the wall of photographs. Then like Kali, she of the many arms, he had my glasses. I had to be so fast to rescue them.

Ugo said the chippie was closed so they must be on their hols to China again.He said he could have a (mumble) Wok  later if I could tide him over.

Newsflash: I hope you didn’t hear the scream. I’m typing carefully as my hands are shaking. Septimus just walked in here!!!! Don’t ever try jumping onto a revolving chair. I managed to drop the lid of a spray can on him and slip a business card underneath. He’s now safely outside in the wild, able to terrorise cats, dogs and anyone who walks past.

Returning Reuben to his father I made him a small meal and a cup of coffee. As he was feeding Reuben at the same time I went and scanned some photographs Ugo had brought with him. I managed to sneak a ciggie in too. Then as I finished I took them a block of chocolate to share.Reuben is so close to walking now that sometimes when he lets go of your hands he doesn’t realise he has no support. It’s time either to ban him or move everything out of his reach. Ugo is at the point of fixing gates at home and putting soft corners on things. When they left sometime before 7.00 pm and I’d waved them off ( meaning made sure they’d gone) I at and watched an ancient Murder She Wrote before coming in to work. And there’s plenty of it so please excuse me while I get back to the mail.

Wednesday. I woke at 1.26 am . I was so thrilled that when I got back from the loo I had a little party. Nothing too much, just a drink of pop and a ciggie but at my age that’s enough excitement. I did go back to bed and try again and the next think I knew it was 6.05 am. Whit woo, a lie in! I celebrated further with another visit to the loo and strolled back to turn the computer on.It really didn’t take long to realise what a mistake the stroll was since the mailbox was straining at the seams. “So what” I asked myself being a free agent with nothing on …I’ll rephrase that to no  activities planned in deference to the readers who still follow knock-knock jokes and think tit and bum are hilarious. Oh yes, that’s me isn’t it. I only managed half a dozen messages before it was feeding time at the zoo, or aquarium to be more precise. I wasn’t late so they were obviously not unhappy with me today.

After I’d taken my meds I brought a coffee back to the bedroom and really ploughed into the mail. I was concentrating so hard I nearly shot out of the chair when the postie knocked on the door.It was bound to be something good with him knocking. It’s not ESP that tells me who’s there it’s the orange of the top he wears that gives it away. Two packages, the new tablet and the memory card I’d ordered for it. I stripped the wrapping in no time flat, undid the box and got the tablet out.I went to put it on charge as suggested but it was almost there anyway. In went the memory card and I turned it on. My only complaint despite it being a cheap model was the instruction booklet which was far too small and very thin. Once on I decided to download my pho.tolab app since I find it hard to work it on the phone. Problem was I had to get on the internet first. Therein lay a problem because it was asking for passwords and I had no idea what it wanted. Working very slowly I understood it wanted my internet password from the ISP. It was a long time before realisation hit. Then it wanted my google password so I had to search for that. Eventually I got there and downloaded that app and one more. I was happy now.

Back to work and no more skiving. I worked until lunchtime then had a break. Only coming back through at 2.00 pm. By 3.30 pm I was up to date for now and went to tidy the lounge before my Wednesday visitors. Back here at 4.30 pm and again I shot out of the chair when someone knocked on the door and then came in. It was Lee, nice and early. I went through to join him and get him a drink. Then, before anyone else came, he showed me how to work the camera and where to find the picture. Then on the desktop he showed me how to circumvent this problem wordpress has created with youtube downloads. I’ll be trying it in a minute. Dil and Matt arrived at almost 6.00 pm so we set up for playing as I made them drinks. We reverted to the original scrabble game first and it must be the longest game I’ve ever played as there was so much chatter and laughter.The laughter came to a sudden halt when I threw a tantrum over losing. It was Matt’s game. In fairness I should point out he was also doing the scoring for me since everyone thinks my shaking hands are hilarious. On to nomination next and poor Lee had to leave when we’d barely started as he’d promised his wife to be out just a couple of hours. A bit of jiggery-pokery and confusion about deals left me the winner there by a HUGELY convincing margin. I’m not bragging though in case winning has a detrimental effect on my health. My friend Laurie points out I had angina last week when winning and they may be connected but I’m more likely to believe that my brother will kneecap me. I made another drink while we set up for crazy 8’s. Dil started well, I was succeeding towards the middle but at the end Matt won. Yes, it was the scorer again.

Dil and Matt left just gone 9.30 pm so it was a quick tidy up. A wash of the pots ( just the dirty ones, not all of them), my evening meds then back to my room to hope I’ll see my bed before midnight. I think I’m just going to make it.

Thursday. A slightly more normal 4.23 am today. I know from the past with Julia that I often stop breathing while asleep and can suddenly wake up with a big gasp. I do remember doing so and it came as no surprise today when a friend suggested sleep apnoea might be one of the causes for my waking so early. Maybe I’m just afraid to go back to sleep? Ach, living alone isn’t easy sometimes. On the one hand there’s no-one to drag me off the computer and tell me I’ve been there too long. On the other, eating alone, especially my own cooking is no fun.

I started on the emails which were plentiful, all the while glancing over at the tablet thinking how nice it would be to get a play with some photographs since that was one reason for buying it. I made a bold decision, I have two email addresses, maybe I could open the second one on the tablet and answer them from there. I determined to do so as it would make answering them on the go easier. As soon as I reached a point of being up to date with the first batch, which turned out to be 6.15 am, I went to see to the fish (early) and fooled them, took my meds, had the usual toast and made a medium roast coffee to take through and made a start. It didn’t take long to open my google mail account and start answering the mail there. Some was a duplicate of what goes into mu normal mail so I was able to delete that and by 8.00 am I felt I deserved a little treat. I know I could attach my tablet to the computer and download some pictures but instead I copied what I wanted and emailed them to myself. Working on the bigger screen was fantastic, so much easier than the phone. Here’s what I started with.

My Sister,done for my Nieces.

My Sister,done for my Nieces.

 

My Nieces.

My Nieces.

It was great fun but I now had a backlog in my normal email box. There will be more playtime I’m sure as soon as the boss (conscience) isn’t watching. I was doing pretty well by 9.30 am and got myself dressed and trotted (HA) off to Pauline’s for ciggies, fresh baps and my lottery tickets. Somehow a renegade box of Maltesers jumped into my hand too, I thought I’d better buy them. At home again I made a concerted effort to finish the mail in both boxes and allowed myself one last play.

Mike reflected in the eye of his pet Dragon.

Mike reflected in the eye of his pet Dragon.

I forced myself to stop and went to get fresh bedding out for his arrival tomorrow. I’ll change both beds first thing in the morning I think. Lunchtime was fast approaching so I did a couple of things in the lounge  then made myself pizza and chips (micro) with a fresh bap. Tomorrow I’ll make myself behave and have some new potatoes instead or maybe a cold meat salad ( I just threw that in to appease a friend who hates my eating habits).My Bargain Hunt was on so I sat and enjoyed that while I ate. After I’d done the washing up I came back to my chair to finish the programme and just slept the meal off instead.

After waking I had a lot of catching up to do again which was fine since I felt I”d already cheated on the day. I just took my own sweet time and worked until I was done. Since it was almost 5.00 pm I called a halt and went to watch a new quiz called 21 Questions I’m trying to get the hang of since I see the same faces popping up daily. It looks like they might be on a week at a time to give them all opportunity to reach the jackpot point. I find it quite unfair as they work their way to that point amassing money as they go but are asked a question at the end to see if they can have half that amount or answer more questions to be able to win the whole amount?? It seems a lot of extra work to win a modest £2500 or so that you think they’ve already won. After that it was another repeat of a recently shown  Law and Order so I turned over to another quiz against a team of TV quiz winners like Mastermind and Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The challengers didn’t win. I started an interesting programme about women running trains during WWI but didn’t see the end through closed eyelids. I came to (guiltily) at just after 7.30 pm and came straight back through to catch up onn mail and leave you with today’s post. I hope your day has been as pleasant as mine.

Friday. Jumpin’ Jehosaphat  it was 6.17 am today. I know I was reading late last night but this is like twice my normal sleep time. I though I’d gone into hibernation but believe me there were no nuts in bed. Mike’s been telling me to grow a pair for years. I had a short bast at the post before going through to the fish. I didn’t have time to notice if they were sulking or happy today as it was time to do my drugs and I was anxious to see whether I’d cocked things up. Things seemed to be OK so I’m guessing I didn’t. I have to hope there’s enough for another week of the ones I didn’t do this week.  Having wasted so much time I decided not to bother with toast and went straight for the next stage, taking a coffee back to my room. 

Surprisingly the mail wasn’t as heavy as I feared but it turned out to be stuff that required attention and couldn’t be deleted straight away. I didn’t mind as many of them were from friends whose blogs I follow.By 9.30 am I was almost on a par so was able to go and make Mike’s bed and but a load of washing on then come back and make mine so I had a second load for tomorrow after I’ve changed tonight. I’m afraid that despite countless lessons my bedmaking skills must still be comic. I drifted through most of the morning playing catch up and reminiscing about the days I was nimble enough just to play catch.

Lunchtime came and I opened the packet of bacon I’ found in the freezer. It promised 6 rashers which in all honesty there were, no argument about that. However they’d been sliced with a razor blade and I think looking at a match would crisp them up. I put some new potatoes on, set the bacon under the grill and opened a tiny tin of beans. It was delicious. I washed the pots and settled down to siesta. I did have the antiques programme on in case I stayed awake. Ha ha what a comedian. I was away in zero seconds flat. The soft hum of Z’s drifting through the room for a couple of hours. Catching up on emails took a bit longer after that. I broke off at 5.00 pm for a sandwich  and stayed to watch the quiz that confused me yesterday. I’m still confused…You win an amount in a quiz. Why would you then answer questions to allow you to leave with half your winnings? More questions to leave with what you should already have won and more questions to try for double the amount but one wrong question means you get nowt! I then watched another quiz just for the heck of it before going back to the mail for a half hour. Up to date once again I decided to go for a shower. I just checked my phone first and found a message from Mike saying he”d be here within the hour. I’d just typed a message back when he walked through the door. Perfect timing. I put the kettle on for him then he washed my hair before I had a shower. I went through to join him while he told me about his week.

At 9.00 pm I left him to watch a comedy while I came back top assault the mail and the blog. It’s hard going sometimes but the new blog is picking up a bit. I hope anyone interested in writing a piece reflecting their opinions on world peace, bullying or taking care of the planet feels free to do so unless that point of view is pro-war or offensive towards others. Hugs.

Saturday. 4.24 am saw me heading for the loo wide awake. It really was just as well since my hands were shaking quite badly this morning.When I started the mail I had to keep going back on my responses as it looked like my keyboard was stuttering. It was Ggggggggood Mmmornnning, oh heck it’s lunchtime now! There was no point in going back to bed as I wanted to be as clear as possible before we went out. I managed Round 1 by 6.30 am and went through to the kitchen. Yes the light went on early on the fish tank, but I was kneeling on the floor and reached up for the switch as I wasn’t going to feed them today. I backed away carefully before standing up so I didn’t have to face them. First job after that was to clear the bins as it was a main collection day. Recycling, tins, plastic bottles, paper/card, glass and food are collected every week but the household rubbish is collected fortnightly.  I dealt with all the little bins into the big one and then got everything out being very careful not to make a noise- like it would have made the slightest difference. Once I came back in and washed my hands I was able to take my meds including a food one. I decided on a piece of toast for speed as I had no idea what time we’d eat.I had a cigarette to eat up some of the time I needed before eating and put the toast on as I made my coffee. 

I decided against jam today but slathered the toast in butter till my moustache gleamed. I took the two after meal torpedoes and carried my coffee very carefully back to the bedroom. to listen for Mike’s alarm.I’d flicked the kettle before I left the kitchen ( It’s seeing a lawyer and suing me for physical abuse). I’d just parked my bum when the alarm went off. He wasted no time stopping it. I made his coffee and took it through rallying my cheeriest “Coffees up bro.” That went down like a lead balloon eliciting little more than a grunted “Bggr off.” Not totally unexpected I went back to work and waited for the second ring. It wasn’t forthcoming so at 7.20 am I went through again to point out the coffee was getting cold. The response was better with lots of sitting up and lying down and a “righto” somewhere in there. I left and returned to work again. At 7.40 am I made a decision to try one last time and if it didn’t work I’d just leave him. He obviously needed the sleep. This time I just called from the door, “Too late, the drink’s cold bro.” He sat up, swivelled somehow and swung his legs out of bed. All the time chunnering “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t know it was so late, oh dear, sorry, what is it?” I only had two mesaages left to do so I finished those and went through to the lounge where he was sitting, cold coffee in hand lighting a cigarette.

We got out of the house by a miraculous 8.05 am and reached the shops in virtual silence. I did keep checking to make sure he hadn’t nodded off again. The expedition itself didn’t take too long as I’ve decided food must be fattening and I’m giving it up. We had time for a coffee before we left for the next step. I needed a couple of things from Flint and so did Mike so we parked up and for the sake of the loo went for a drink at Temptations first. I ordered and passed over the chocs to Trudy while Mike paid his visit. From there we went to pick up the things we needed. That’s two shops and we hadn’t reached the second one before Mike was off again. I took my time so we could go in together when he got back. When we’d got what we wanted we headed for the freezer shop for ice lollies etc. Mike helped me by picking a few items he fancied to then told me I was the one putting the stuff in the freezer at home. Heartless beggar.We got home, unpacked and put away- yes, I did get freezer duty. Then I went back to work on my mail while Mike fiddled with my phone for me and watched a little TV. Time was getting on when I was down to my last few emails so I checked to see whether Mike was ready for lunch. We left. We were almost there when I checked my phone and found a message from Tariq to sat he’d finished Mike’s coffin…..ie, a coffin shaped set of shelves for Mike to display his collection of Dragons on. It was almost the first thing we saw in a side room when we got there. Wonderful job. Mike is thrilled, except for the fact they’re too big for the car built up as they are and will have to be undone.

Lunch was fantastic as always. We didn’t have much chance for chat as the place was pretty heaving. Yay but we did arrange for the shelves to be taken down for transport purposes. If it comes to that we could go early and do that in the morning. We came home by a pretty route and stopped of at Jackson’s Nurseries to look at their gift section. Mike’s daughter has admired his clock at home and if she’s to have it he needs to replace it. He’s specific in that it must be a large one and this is the best place I can think of. We had a good look upstairs and nothing at all so headed downstairs ( a slope actually) and I just said, “Hey bro, clock that” as I pointed at a huge one, big enough that he’s need a reinforced wall, and to be sitting a hundred yards back to read it. £135.00, forget that then. We actually saw some great ones but he felt the cheapest at £50.00 was too much for a battery operated clock. He may be right. We had a drink and came home.

I worked for a long time and went through for a break at 6.00 pm but Mike was lying on his bed. He did join me though. I stayed until 9.00 pm then had to excuse myself for work and I’ve been here ever since. Still some mail to go so I’ll wish you all a Happy week to come and send you Hugs.

Tea Party

Tea Party

Reub 1

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The Benin Barrister & Those Trousers Can Blind a Racehorse

Sunday. After such a late night I didn’t get up until 5.00 am  After turning on the computer and saw how many emails were there from yesterday as well as this morning, I regretted moving. Just as well the Eisteddfod is just once a year. There were hundreds and it took a long time to sort the wheat from the chaff. By the time I’d made any headway it was 8.00 am and I hadn’t fed the fish. My albino cory was not amused and started dashing round the tank as though being chased by the devil or a large shark maybe.

albino coryYou can almost see the look of disapproval yet he’s only about 2 inches long. Sometimes I get a very dismissive flick of the whiskers. He can be almost as stern as Michael who was a bit dischuffed when he found out whose face was on the cat last night. He issued a very stern warning.

Mike on the Throne

“Don’t do it again” he said. No way was I entering into a My swords bigger than your sword argument because I know how his mind works and anyway he’d probably threaten to produce references from all his paramours so I’d be reading for a week. I’ve known men brag about a different woman for every day of the week, but never before one who adds, 52 weeks of the year. Anyway, stop diverting me, let me get on with the tale. I left the fish feeding and took my meds as I made myself a coffee and prepared a mug for when Mike got up. He’d already warned me he’s have to leave early today as he’s going out for a meal with his Dad his two sisters and his brother in law. I went back to work.

At 9.00 am I heard Mike’s alarm go off so I went and made him a drink and took it through. As usual he’d ignored the alarm and turned over so I made sure he knew the coffee was there. I carried on working. Two more rings of the alarm brings us to 9.30 am and I heard movement. I was practically up to date so I went through to join him. He has the nerve to tell me he’s hardly slept even though he appeared to be well away wen I went to the loo at 1.00 am and again at 5.00 am when I got up. He asked what I wanted to do this morning and when I said I thought he’s have breakfast and leave he answered he was OK for a while yet. In the end we settled on a trip to Flint to check out the Argos sale and to pick up some more chocolates. That was about 10.45 am and we didn’t leave Flint until 11.45 am when we headed straight for The Ivy where we had something to eat and a coffee each. Things were looking a bit more hopeful for Tariq and his family with passports though it’s ridiculous that he has to travel to Peterborough to get the ones they’ve found and he’s going to threaten to stay in the office until they find the others. I have everything crossed I possibly can for them. Mike liked a picture and asked the price. “They’re nothing today” said Tariq. We knew getting a straight answer would be hard. “How about £5,  that’s about what it cost me to make. Which one do you want”  “I’m not telling you unless I get a sensible answer”said Mike. It went on a while until I said ” How about £10, I’ll get him to say which one he wants if you’ll accept £10.” Even though it was still not the true price he agreed and I handed over £10 and made him put it away before Mike told him. Then the picture Mike wanted was so much bigger and would have been much more than £10 Tariq would brook no arguments. At least when we left today I had no arguments about the price of the meal. The big crisis facing Mike and I is that next Saturday the place is closed as Angie is at a wedding.

Mike dropped me at home at 1.30 pm and shot straight off to Manchester leaving me to face the music of all the waiting mail again. Naturally there was a fair bit and it kept me occupied until almost 5.00 pm.I had a sandwich and then  forced myself to eat what was left of the BFG after Mike had been there last night while I was out as I didn’t want to to go off in the heat. The effort I have to go to sometimes. I watched a bit of a film but couldn’t get into it properly partly I think because I’m not much of an Adam Sandler fan.This was better than some I’d seen though. It wasn’t long before I came back to the bedroom and started on messages again along with blog comments and tweets galore. Some of the comments in answer to the great remarks I had on my post from last night. I wish you lot would stop being funny though, you put me to shame. Ah well. Time to finish the last messages of the day and head for my pit. I wish you all a great week.

Piggy Back riding

Piggy Back riding

Nursery 3

 

 

 

 

 

with Uncle Mike

with Uncle Mike

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Monday. It was a 3.05 morning and I’m convinced I should still be in bed and the first sign of nodding, that’s where I’m going. Did I nod? No way. I still hadn’t finished the mail at 7.00 am when I went through to the fish. I think they must all have had an argument as they were in three of the four corners of the tank, with one stuck to the filter in the fourth corner. The smallest one, the fan tailed guppy was swimming quite happily up top waiting for the food trapdoor to open. He was claiming First Dibs. I saw to my drugs and had a piece of toast before taking my coffee back through to the bedroom. The post seems to be never ending today, I wonder if I dare thin out the number of blogs I follow in order to have a life. I’d just about finished at 8.50 am which gave me chance to wash and dress in order to go to the post office. I wanted to post a large, nay Ginormous letter to a friend. I was holding it between my fingers which were wrapped around the handle of my crutch and yet it was almost dragging on the ground. I just hope she’s got a big letterbox.

Back home I put some washing on and then came back to the mail. There was one from delivery firm Hermes who annoy the heck out of me. You have a tracking number and get through to their system which follows the time they received it, when they logged it etc, etc and then you come to one that says Out for Delivery. To me, the customer, that means Great, a courier has it on his van and will deliver today. Accordingly I’ve been in all day. What it actually means is that it’s out for delivery to a courier and even though he may have received it, he hasn’t logged it with himself yet. So tomorrow when I’ve arranged to be out it will probably come. Then because you’re not in you stand the chance of them taking it back again. They need to make their site much clearer and also include telephone numbers . This is the slide I ordered last week for Reuben. I’ll have to leave a note on the door asking them to leave it with a neighbour. I carried on answering mail until I heard the washing machine stop then went and set the drier. I told it a lie and said it was a load of shirts when actually there was a towel in there too. I wonder if it can tell?

At lunchtime I had a cottage pie and an episode of my Antiques programme.  At 1.00 pm I thought forty winks were in order so settled down. RATS, the front door. Someone wanting to check a master key on my door in case of emergencies. I tried again and the blasted window cleaner arrived. OK, so no afternoon nap is on the cards today. I might as well work. There are some truly amazing bloggers out there who write purely to inspire and lift others. It’s truly nice to know there are such selfless people around. There are some very informative bloggers who ensure we miss nothing from the world around us be it from a conflict somewhere or a new species of bird found . I’m mostly grateful for the time and effort they expend on the rest of us. There is kindness in the World, and maybe like my friend Rosie’s good example of a good deed a day it will inspire me to be a nicer person.

At 4.30 I packed up intending to have a break so I could have a piece of lemon meringue pie and to watch a couple of quizzes on TV. The first was easy, the second I managed to miss by getting caught up in something else. Then, I managed to nod off and missed the first half of Law and Order. Fortunately it was a repeat anyway as was the next programme, a Murder She Wrote so I turned off and came back through. When I check the mail I see a message purporting to be from a barrister addressed to me by name via Facebook. I don’t usually open mail I don’t recognise but where it’s using my name I thought I better had- wondering who I’d pissed off enough to threaten to sue me this week.

Displaying BUSINESS PROPOSITION.png

Even the crooks in Benin have got it in for me now. I remember getting a message from Facebook recently to say from now on messages sent to us there would not be stored but would be sent to our email addresses. That’s clever really since the email address this came to isn’t the one I registered with on Facebook. So, in an effort to miss any more of these things I’m going incognito, I hope I can rely on you not to tell.

india

 

Now I must go back to my emails to clear as many as possible before going out tomorrow. Night all, I hope my secret is safe in your hands.

In honour of my beloved Ju whose birthday it is tomorrow.

Tuesday. 3.25 am today. Plenty of work to do before going out. The only interruption was at 6.00 am when I did the fish early in case I was attacked and had to hide the wounds. Maybe they weren’t ready for me or perhaps just in a generous mood as I got away scot free. After taking my morning fix I got washed and dressed before taking my coffee through and carrying on with the post. By carrying on I don’t mean a full blown affair, more a dalliance in the stock room. I wasn’t taking it too seriously this morning. Eventually time came to leave the house. I’d donned my leather jacket as it had been raining and the forecast said cloudy and rain today.In fact I feel as though I was wearing a sauna suit it’s been so hot.

We met in the Costa where I already had an iced coffee in front of me because I wanted the points on my card as Tuesday is double points day at the moment. Yvonne had told me that Reuben was full of cold but said the fresh air might help or I’d have put them off. As today is Ju’s birthday I suspect we each wanted to stop the other brooding. I’d taken some Tanzanite earrings of Ju’s and a Wedgewood pendant of my mother’s for Yvonne so she put the earrings in straight away to be close to her mum. We had our drinks while Reuben slept in his pushchair. He’d had no sleep the night before she told me. When we left we took a trip along what are called ‘The Rows’ which are shops on balconies above the main shops of the main street.There are a number of jewellers and they’re very exclusive which translates as expensive.  There are also some unusual shops here. Then we went for another drink as Reuben awoke. I was able to have him on my lay while Yvonne got the drinks. He was very sneezy and obviously still tired but tried hard to be smiley for me.

We had a teddy bear made as we left the precinct and then we walked up the main street to Argos to see if some toys I wanted for Reuben were in. They were. By this time I was in need of a wee and we thought it best to get some lunch before carrying on the expedition. Marks and Spencer’s was our choice. Wow, they don’t even do beans with the baked potatoes and still charge a fortune for them but the loos were nice. Such a relief. There were still two or three shops to visit afterwards and I was successful at getting a couple of shirts and a waistcoat for Ugo in one. Unfortunately I lost he smugness game today when Yvonne bought me a waistcoat too. Poor old Reuben’s patience was starting to disappear like a rabbit down a hole and he was beginning to do ear piercing ( well ear-drum at least) exercises with his vocal chords. We thought it best to take him home.Yvonne insisted I went with them and we could resume our Tuesday teatime chip meal after Ugo had run us to my house. I agreed before she started ear piercing on me. Ugo left work but thanks to a mix up in marital communications headed for my house without us. He had to turn round to collect us. We got home. Ugo went to the chippy, I went to my neighbour’s to collect Reuben’s slide which had come and Yvonne was left minding the baby. We had tea, Reuben decorated my floor with most of his and after a tidy up they left.

I came through to see to my messages before they’d even shut the car doors. I confess to being in a panic, but in all fairness I was right, 203 times right. It’s taken all night to reach somewhere near caught up before getting to the blog so tonight no entertainment, no pictures.,just a hope your day has been good.

Wednesday. A dark and early start saw me getting on top of the emails this morning. When I broke off at 7.00 am I was almost there. After throwing a leg of lamb into the fish tank from a distance I took my morning meds and  had a piece of toast before taking my coffee through. When I got back some kind of world disaster must have happened because there were almost 100 more messages than when I left 20 minutes earlier. I wonder whether America knows it’s supposed to be in bed. I started again where I’d been at 3.30 am.

By 9.30 am I was back at the almost finished stage. The postman had been and still without my last missing package  from China. I’m begining to wonder if this is another one held by our Customs Service to screw extra money out of me. It’s funny though, that usually happens once a year to me but it’s never actually been on one from China so far. Once a year one from China usually doesn’t reach me and it’s always the one with multiple purchases for some reason. If it hasn’t arrived by Friday I have to open a case with ebay and get in touch with the seller. They’re usually excellent at refunding  but the annoying thing is I don’t want a refund, I want the goods. To do that I have to start with long delays again and hoping it gets to me. If I do that I risk going beyond the time where ebay will refund for non-delivery. I may have to accept a refund and then either order from them again or choose another supplier of similar items. Since I didn’t have to wait for the postman I decided to go out to Pauline’s for fresh bread and my TV mag.She was quite busy so I joined the queue and listened as she spoke to all her customers as friends. It’s nice.

Back home I was rattling through the rest of the mail when one for a sale at my Saturday Supermarket came up. Naturally since Mike and I have been keeping an eye on the sale in store when we go I found many items had sold out or weren’t available in my size ( obviously the most popular one) but I was lucky to find some jeans I know I like, some slippers I need since one toe is currently peeping through the top of my current pair and a dress shirt complete with bowtie which was reduced to £4. I expected to pay a lot for next day delivery but was amazed to find it was also just £4 even for the 6 items I ordered. Great value.

I knocked off at 11.00 am and went through to the lounge. I needed to think about what I wanted for lunch and I was tired. I nodded off for about half an hour. Before hand I’d decided on bangers with sweet potato mash but now I couldn’t be bothered and settled on a corned beef hash. Small and quick. It was OK and all I needed to wash was my fork. After lunch I was back and forth to the computer to try and keep the mail down as I’d miss 3 hours+ this evening but I couldn’t resist another siesta when the sun was really getting warm through the window. That must have lasted an hour or so from about 3.30 pm. It gave me such a conscience that I darted back  through and found loads waiting. I was concentrating so hard that when the door opened I thought Dil and Matt had arrived early. It was in fact 5.50pm. Work stops, play starts.

Once drinks were dealt with Dil got the Yahtzee out to play. We had 3 games. Matt won the first as he got a Yahtzee where both Dil and I crossed it out. I was the lowest in that game losing badly. The next game was mine as despite Matt getting another Yahtzee, I got TWO, and won easily. In the third game there was no quarter given and Matt won again after getting two Yahtzees. We reverted to cards next and went back to Nomination Whist which after having been on the ‘catch up’ most of the game I romped ahead when needed and won. Finally the crib boards came out and the Goddess of luck was smiling on me as she gave me both games as quite easy wins. It was time for Dil and Matt to go. Dil muttering under his breath about seeing me next week ( and it would be his turn to completely thrash us then).  I had a quick tidy up, washed the pots and went back to do battle with my email adversaries. It took me till gone midnight to do the blog and to clear the mail to within about a dozen which would have to wait till morning as some required longer answers. I’m knackered now and need a little read before sleep.

Thursday. 3.50 today so a slight improvement though having a late night last night didn’t help. Maybe I shouldn’t have celebrated my wind with extra mouthwashes. Having seen my inbox I’m glad of an early start at it since everyone whose side of the world is now heading for darkness has written to me while I slept. And anyway, the message I had from Asda said my delivery could be any time from 7 am. I doubt I’ll hold my breath though. At 6.30 am I sneaked into the kitchen and turned the light on inn the fish tank. I was hoping that half an hour early might catch them off guard. It didn’t, and one beady red eye was watching my every move. Because of that I moved very quickly. I took a pre-food tablet, had my sprays, swallowed the umpteen other tablets, had a cigarette to time things and then made myself a piece of toast. I was perhaps a little generous with the butter as the first time I tried to take a sip of my coffee, my moustache just slid across the front of the mug. I either had to wash off the excess or save it for sustenance later. I settled on a wash so I could drink my coffee.

I went back to the computer and was working steadily on emptying the mail box as the rest of the world tried to fill it again. At about 8.30 am I decided to get dressed thinking the time of delivery must be getting close now and I didn’t want to open the door in my dressing gown, not that I really have a door in my dressing gown of course. I worked on and on and on until finally at 11.00 am I could work no more. I went through to the lounge to evaluate the patterns on the inside of my eyelids for a short time. It was actually no more than about 15 mins before the phone rang.I decided to peel some sweet potatoes instead, ever the man of adventure me. A bit later I put my sausages under the grill and set my potatoes to boil. Soon enough I had the delights of bangers , sweet potato mash with peas and carrots before me. It was a feast. I washed the pots and settled down in my chair again when I heard a van arrive. Nope, it was the laundry service  visiting Joe with all his freshly pressed shirts. One of these days I’m going to empty my laundry basket, and I’ll give it to them to deal with. About ten minutes later the van from Yodel arrived and I knew it was for me. I signed for the parcel and tore at the wrapping as I got it to the lounge. First job, throw old slippers away and don new moccasin ones. I know the jeans are good because I’m wearing a pair and the jeans for Mike look OK too. The dress shirts are great, all I need now is an occasion. My new lounge pants are covered in Mr Men so I won’t be letting anyone see me in those unless it’s Reuben.

I worked most of the afternoon so there could be a TV break this evening. It was 5.45 pm when I knocked off. I managed to see my Law and Order and then turned over to see Jessica Fletcher solve another crime before the police did. I saw the first 5 minutes or so and then totally  zonked until the last 5 mins. I suppose I caught the important bits. So, at 8.00 pm it was back through here again and it’s now 10.47 pm and I still haven’t emptied the mail box. Time for one last marathon effort.

 

Contemplation

Contemplation

park2 use

 

Friday. Blah , Blah, Blah early morning. By 7.00 am I was almost abreast of the mail and went to see to the fish. Not a single one in sight.They must be OK as there are no bodies floating but they’re playing mind games with me now, they’re making me panic. I took my tabs and then started to refill the empty container. Thanks to those piscatorial pests I was putting night time ones in daytime slot and verce visa. A ten minute job took a long time…long enough for the 15-20 mins in which I was to eat had passed by. I quickly put some toast on to boil. I opened my mouth as wide as possible and ate as quickly as I could ( according to Mike I’d have got the lot in at once if I’d tried). I made my coffee and took the two after meal tablets . OK, I was up to date. With a last glance at the tank I picked up my coffee and returned to the computer.

Amongst the new set of messages was one from another firm telling me their sale starts tomorrow but as a valued customer I can buy today AND get an extra 10% off at the end. Since I mentioned on Tuesday that my sneaky daughter had bought me a waistcoat, she now informs me she bought the matching jacket. She’s going head to head in the smugness stakes now. But, I decided I’d better get a pair of trousers to wear with the new ensemble so I ordered a pair of brown trousers with a shine like a mirror. If I ever go to a racecourse I’ll blind the horses. ( just the ones I haven’t backed though). I also ordered a new pair of braces since I need something to fight gravity now my waistline has gone. There were a couple of other items in the sale so I went to the checkout and entered my code and paid. Dalmations, the discount hasn’t taken!!!!!!!!!  I’ve emailed them to see what went wrong.

A little later I dressed and went to Pauline’s to renew my lottery tickets. I picked up fresh baps and some milk while I was there just in case Mike is coming. I haven’t heard so far. At lunchtime I really couldn’t be bothered with a large meal so I made beans on toast which I haven’t had for ages. Time to hunker down for a nap now or at least as soon as the antiques programme is finished. It finished at 1.00 pm and I’d just stretched my legs out when my phone beeped. Naturally I’d left it in the bedroom. With an exasperated gasp I went to get it. There was the message I’d hoped for “On way”. I went and snored quite happily for an hour.

The mail had built up again in my absence but with Mike due about 4.00 pm I didn’t mind too much. I actually got up to date at 3.50 pm and was able to put the kettle on ready for the arrival which almost exactly on time. The ‘boy’ racer said the traffic had been bad. I settled him down with a drink and we both talked about how our week had been. We watched some quizzes calling out the answers to the screen to see who was fastest. His favourite quiz was missing though due to golf so I left him with Law and Order while I came to try and keep up to date again before my shower. Mike washed my hair in the adverts and I had a shower before changing into the new Mr Men lounge pants and a tee-shirt. NCIS was next on his menu and when a second episode came on I went to make him a meal of a lamb shank and some sweet potato mash, he said that was adequate veg. At 9.00 pm I came through for the night to keep the mail as up to date as possible and to get the blog on. I think it’s back to it again now because it’s an early start for shopping tomorrow. Can you hear the sarcastic laughter?

Saturday. I didn’t move my lazy ass today until 5.45 am. ( I bet you didn’t know I had a donkey did you?) I had only an hour answering the millions of comments from last night’s blog as well as other emails before it was time to feed the fish and prepare to make Mike his coffee. One fish allowed itself to be seen this morning but I swear he was just keeping cavey for the rest. By 7.00am I’d had my tablets and made a cup of coffee for myself. The lketttle was boiling awaiting the sound of the alarm from Mike’s room. By five past I’d heard nothing so I made the drink and took it through. My cheerful greeting was only tolerated without a well aimed show for two reasons. 1. It was his coffee I was holding. and 2 He just grunted but didn’t wake up. I took my coffee through and continued to tap away at the keyboard.

At about 7.20 I heard the sound of the loo being flushed and my intuition being what it is along with my deductive powers, I decided it was much more likely to be Mike than the fish. He was up and I hadn’t heard the alarm go off at all. I closed the screen down and went through to join him in the lounge. I was only able to join him bodily as his senses had yet again deserted him as he slept on the edge of the chair gradually leaning further forward until soon gravity would do it’s job and leave him splattered on my floor. I wouldn’t mind but he’d be a beggar to hoover. A quick (loud) cough and he woke up.We were out of the house with seconds to spare before 8.00 am.

The main shopping didn’t take too long but the delays I caused looking at children’s clothes did I’m afraid. My trolley was starting to look like Reuben’s lucky day. And of course I was expecting a delivery of clothes I’d bough for him online, today. We had a coffee after shopping while we decided the next move. I’d mentioned to Mike last night that I wouldn’t mind going to a certain shop with a sale that started today. He agreed and so we headed off there. Yet again Reuben was at the forefront of my mind and struck lucky. Mike also found a suit in a wonderful colour. I’m sure he’d have had a second one in another colour had the jacket been the right size. This wasn’t the branch of the shop I’d originally thought of and there was nowhere to eat close by so Mike suggested we visit the second branch where there are plenty of eateries. I had no problem agreeing since the word SALE is like a magnet to my poor addled brain.

We hit the other branch and came up with yet more things for Reuben though poor Mike was disappointed with his suit here as they had none of them. I did buy him a pair of shoes as compensation though were really nice.I got some braces and a couple of belts. We headed off for lunch and celebrated with a pudding today. The weather outside was awful with rain bouncing down ( or up) so we stayed in the cafe till it eased. Mike was proud that he got me out without me spending anything. We did however go to another shop before heading home and I was allowed to spend there in case my pockets healed up.

At home there was no sign of my recycling bags after the bin men had been. For all I knew they could have refused to bring them back in the lousy weather. We put the shopping away and I checked the door to see if there was a not from the delivery men to say they’d been. I was a little dejected to find nothing. Mike felt unwell and went to bed so I started to catch up with today’s 200+messages. It was about an hour in when I saw a message from one firm saying the goods were being delivered today. Checking the trace I found the package had been signed for. Yay, they’re next door with Bert. The weather was clearing nicely and the ground looked almost dry.I went out and actually met Bert who’d just seen his son off in the car. He told me where my recycling bags were and that he had two parcels for me. You’d have thought it was my birthday. Everything was fantastic and I think the trousers I’d ordered will go nicely colour-wise with the waistcoat and jacket from my bolshie daughter.

At 5.45 pm I’d all but  caught up and decided to have a break for a while. I turned to the TV for Who Do You Think You Are which takes celebrities on a journey into the history if their family. It can be quite fascinating. Mike came through so when it ended I turned over for the Grand Prix qualifiers and the news. Then we watched Lewis . We had sandwiches and a small cake in the intervals.  At 9.00 pm I deserted Mike and came through for the next battle in the message war. I think it’s going to be a long night.

park2 use

 

park3

 

David found a surgeon who could turn him into a hamster. Now he could store his chocolate properly.

David found a surgeon who could turn him into a hamster. Now he could store his chocolate properly.

Have a Nice Week all. Hugs.

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Book of Northern Humour & The Big Bong Theory.

Sunday. I woke first at 4.30 am but decided I deserve longer. I had a quick wee, refilled with some Pepsi, sat on the side of my bed to smoke a cigarette then gave sleep another shot. If it didn’t work, I was prepared to reload and try again. It did work and I managed to remain there till 5.35 am. It being Sunday when I usually have plenty of time I didn’t rush my mail, rather taking longer to enjoy some of the comments from last night’s blog.  At 7.00 am I went to the kitchen, fed the fish, took tabs, had breakfast made myself a coffee and almost died of shock when Mike’s alarm went off. The rhythm in my chest restarted when there was no movement and the clock went quiet. Oddly it didn’t even join the other 6 in the bin that have been thrown against a wall. I took my coffee through to the bedroom and sat down. That was the moment Mr Awkward decided to make his move . I had to dart back to the kitchen to put the kettle on. I took the drink to the lounge where I found him sitting in his chair folded in half and snoring again. “Don’t forget your coffee” I warned him as though I hadn’t just that moment put it there. It doesn’t hurt to keep him on his toes.

As I went back towards my coffee I knew there’d be no way I could do many more messages so decided to get dressed. Having ascertained Mike was up in case we were going to a car boot and seeing the sun was shining I decided to dress for comfort and in a short sleeved shirt. Not that the sun ever sees my arms as I like the pockets a jacket affords. I swear if I ever holiday in Barbados I’m getting a man-bag. Now now you lot, keep those thoughts to yourselves please I have enough problems with Mike telling me he already has a man-bag nudge nudge wink wink.

I’d just finished the last of my drink when Mike’s voice came telling me to put my jacket on. I hadn’t heard a thing but he’d actually got dressed too. We were out of the house five minutes earlier than yesterday. When he opened his mouth to ask which car boot I told him to decide and he drove to Chester. We could see from the traffic it was quite big today. Mike parked up and we started walking round. Down one side of a row and back up the other side of the same row. We were on the scout for books for me mainly but also a Welsh Dragon broach he still wants for a friend. On the first side we managed to pick up 3 books and an unexpected timer for a game of Trivial Pursuit. We were on our way up the other side when Mike suddenly asked me to take the bags as he needed the portaloo and he dashed off. As I took my time and eventually reached the top of the row I stood waiting for him. It was odd, people seemed to be coming and going from one of the little cabins but not from the other. Then I heard the door and expected Mike to appear but unless he’d grown 6 inches and taken to wearing dresses it wasn’t him. I was puzzled. Two loos and he’s in neither, and he hasn’t passed me on the row. The only thing I could think was that he’d started on the next aisle thinking I was ahead of him. I gathered the bags and started down the next row.

I was about half way when Mike appeared and he told me he’d found a nice cafe in the hospital grounds and used the loo there. I’ve been going to that car boot for years and never knew of a cafe before.We were on the return journey up the row when the first of my chest problems happened. The pain was not pleasant and of course I wasn’t carrying a nitro spray. I was so glad of the crutches to lean on. Eventually I was able to move again if only to get away from Mike’s nagging. I was determined to carry on. I did so and a while later I had a repeat attack. Mike was carrying all the bags at this point so we finished the last row and went to the cafe to give me chance to recover. I had a tea and Mike his usual coffee. He also had a breakfast and forced me into a bacon sandwich to keep him company. Fried food must be helping a lot. After the food we finished the drinks in the sunshine on little tables in the garden. It was lovely. Yes, I even removed my jacket.

On the way home afterwards we made  a short stop in Flint to visit Home Bargains. Mr Sarcastic said he was worried about me as I hadn’t shopped there yesterday. I made sure I got something- a pad of shopping lists ! We decided to have a coffee at Temptations so I bought chocolates for the girls. Today it was Trudy and Sian on duty as Ceri is away for the weekend. Later at home we unpacked and Mike immediately started reading a book on Northern humour ( like that’s going to help him). I rested a few minutes then answered some mail. At about 1.00 pm it was time to eat. Decision time, where? It was back to The Ivy in the end. It was nice to see everyone though Tariq was making something for his daughter so we didn’t see a lot of him today. But what we did see was nice. After the meal Mike dropped me off at home and left on the next stage of his journey. I’m afraid I got straight on with the mail till I finished about 5.30 pm. I went through to the lounge and just as I got the BFG out that I would have to eat to save wastage my bloody chest went again and it was a baddie. No problem, spray handy. The thing is the headache after using the spray means you can do nothing till it’s gone ( I know, any excuse). So I rested some more and eventually got to eat the BFG so the story has a happy ending.

Monday. 6.30 this morning on my second attempt to get out of bed. It didn’t give me long before it was time to head kitchenwards. Duty and custom done I took my coffee through to start answering mail ( I was going to answer it, not the coffee). An early treat was a blog post from the delectable ACFlory ( whom I adore) saying she’s had her first con-man letter. She reproduced it for us to peruse so for anyone who missed it here is a warning……Don’t believe the FBI wants to give you money.                   The proof of the pudding as they say…….   http://acflory.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/omg-i-finally-received-an-fbi-scam-d/  .                                           There was also a post from ThePinkAgendist who was the first across my bows this morning with news of the abdication of King Juan Carlos of Spain in favour of Prince Felipe. As an ardent Royalist I’m happy the Monarchy in Spain is to continue and hope Felipe can restore the popularity of the Monarchy there after Juan Carlos has done so much to dent it recently.

About 9.30 an I took a short stroll while the rain had ceased. I needed cigarettes from Pauline’s and also picked up a Twix while I was there. I couldn’t stop myself chomping it when I got back and I was delighted to find inside the wrapper a coupon to get one free. Unfortunately I was so full I couldn’t dash back and get one. There was quite a bit of mail this morning so I wasn’t really able to get away from the computer for long I thought. ………until I woke up leaning over the keyboard, fingers still twitching. I’d been out about half an hour I think. I went through and had the other half hour in a chair. It was getting on for lunchtime so I came back and caught up again before heading for the microwave. I had some Jersey Royal potatoes, a small piece of brisket and some garden peas. I enjoyed eating it in front of the TV while an early afternoon Antiques show was on. Once that was over I washed the pots and headed back to see how the post was doing. I spent an hour catching up then decided I deserved an ice lolly which I had while watching NCIS. It’s just as well it didn’t take long to eat as I dropped off almost straight away and could have frozen my assets. I slpt for almost two and a half hours so NCIS was history by then and the next programme was well on it’s way. I saw the news which confirmed Pinkagendist’s story but also showed the King . I didn’t realise how old he’s begun to look nor how bad his health is, walking using two sticks as he was.

I watched my Antiques Road Trip and managed to get every price wrong but at least I got my choice as winner of this section of the journey which was in Scotland. When the quiz came on I ran through to keep up as much as possible with the post then ran back as soon as Law & Order came on. I even managed to stay awake to watch it. Then for some reason I turned over to what looked like an early episode of Murder She Wrote. They were talking about 32 mb and 64 mb computers which kind of gave the age away. Once over it was time to come through and attack the mail and perhaps get an early night. With luck and if I feel better I’m going to spend time with Yvonne and Reuben tomorrow. It should at least make the post a little less boring for you.

Tuesday. On parade at 4.35 am this morning though I didn’t have my hands on my socks as the Corporal used to bellow down the room. I turned the computer on as I passed by making my way towards the loo. Given the hour I thought the post quite manageable today and a quick glance through didn’t detect any messages from dusky maidens, bent bank managers or very wealthy fortune tellers. Much of it was notification of blog posts and tweets that I was able to read and then tweet about or re-tweet.  I worked until 6.00 am and left the last few messages until after breakfast. Naturally the fish got fed first then I had my meds, placed a bap in the toaster and made a coffee. Once breakfast was done I trooped back to the bedroom with my drink, got dressed and finished of the last few messages and refreshed. Ouch, that was a mistake but still, I have time…..

I finished the last message at 7.15 am and decided I was too much the coward to refresh the post again. I went to pack a few things in a bag for Reuben, paddling pool, bop bag, for Ugo, beer and beer and for Yvonne a candle and a kit to paint a glass photo frame. I made sure my backpack was closed properly. I left the house just about half past and was at the bust stop at the same time as the bus. The driver greeted me with ” Not got anything to break this time?” and I shook my head and smiled. I nodded off quite a lot on the journey but probably for not more than 10 seconds at a time as we hit every pothole going and stopped at every stop. When we arrived in Chester I stood as the bus pulled into the bes station. I always let others get off while I get my crutches on and today my backpack. Before I could move further the driver pulled off again. I thought he was just moving further down the row but no, the beggar pulled into the road. I moved up towards the door and pointedly pressed the bell. He knows where I get off. ” Where d’you want to get off?” he asked. Forcing myself to respond I told him “The first available stop” as I knew he couldn’t let me out on the road.  ” I’m going into town but will be back here later” he told me. Knowing that could take a long time I repeated “The first available stop, I’m meeting my daughter.” It probably only took just over 5 minutes to get to where the first stop was but it was a lot further away from the cafe than the bus station is. Once he dropped me my little legs had to pump. I reached the cafe and sat down trying to get my breath and probably looking like death warmed up, my bags weren’t light. It was an uh oh moment as Yvonne wasn’t there. I checked my phone and sure enough there was a message. “Dadddeeee wherefore art thou?” or words to that effect. A sort conversation later showed she was at the bus station and I was at the cafe instead of the reverse. I went and ordered drinks and Reuben’s toast while she hurried on down.

When Yvonne arrived, she let me sit down and took over at the counter for me. I got Reuben out of his pushchair and stood him on my knees. I’m sure he recognises me as he tries to run away screaming. Actually he was full of smiles so there! We put on the ‘I want to be a Knight when I grow up’ apron and gave him some toast. He sat on the seat next to me quite happily as Yvonne ate hers. When it came time to go we nearly had to ask for a hoover but I surreptitiously swept the crumbs off the seat to the floor. “You can come back again since you tidy up” said the waitress who’d obviously caught my efforts. I hid my face so she couldn’t ban me. We walked up town where Yvonne bought me a picture frame ready for fathers day( and she reckons I’m not helpful eh). We did some general shopping and I was able to stock up on balls for Reuben’s Birthday Ball Pit and a few other things. This meant a typical row at the counter about who pays.Children are so difficult these days, I tried to force her but no, she reckoned I should  pay as I bought it. Actually we got a few good things for Reuben in there and she was adamant I shouldn’t pay. I’m lucky enough to have size on my side. We went to a large clothes shop who’s name I can never remember but unusually I didn’t buy anything. I wish I could say the same about someone else who was determined to put the family in penury in order to buy father’s day gifts, not all for me I hasten to add.

I was feeling quite weary when we came out of that shop and we decided to go for lunch . In the end all I could face was a coffee. Oddly enough the cafe was opposite where the bus had dropped me off this morning. I told Yvonne I needed to go home and rest even though she said Ugo would run me home at 4.00 pm which was only 3 hours away and I could rest at their house until then. I had to turn er down and she waited at the bus stop with me for the 30 seconds until the bus arrived. I stepped on the bus and turned to wave at them both and Reuben burst into tears. Even the bus driver was heard to say Awww. When I was home Yvonne texted me to say he always cries when I go. At home there was a small parcel which proved to be the case I ordered for my phone….only it doesn’t fit. I’ve no idea whether the fault is mine because I listened to Mike say the Wildfire and the Wildfire S are the same size or whether the trader made an error Anyway I’m disappointed and had to send it back, the postage cost me more than the bloody case did. After I’d sent it back I kind of flaked out for a while.My feet were grateful. OMG, I’ve become a part timer with no staying power. My daughter is now better at shopping than me!!

When I revived a bit I had a ham sandwich for lunch and looked at my emails. Aaargh 132. But the worst news is that I’ve been notified that Asufat and her daughters have been picked up again and taken to the airport for deportation tonight. No-one will say what flight they’re on or with what airline. Frankly I’m disgusted, I think the border agency have been most underhand about this. The only hope left since the judicial review isn’t ready is Nick Clegg the Deputy PM. Though I wouldn’ t trust the man personally ( and neither do most of the country judging by the election results last week) he has spoken out against female genital mutilation and some of us have tweeted an appeal for his intervention. Maybe he can redeem himself in my eyes.

Well, a little bit of TV this evening but it’s time for concentration on clearing the mail and getting the blog done before midnight turns me into a pumpkin.( Yes Mike, I know the shape is already there).

All grow'd up.

All grow’d up.

 

Then it was gone, 'Just like that'!

Then it was gone, ‘Just like that’!

Wednesday. Now don’t all cheer at once but this will be a short piece. It’s late and I’m cream crackered. I was up at 4.35 am and hard at work by 4.45 am. At 6.15 am I decided to lie down for a minute that lasted until 7.55 am. We have long minutes in Wales. After that everything seemed to be done in a rush. Even the fish got a one word conversation ” Eat !” This was also one of those days when I had an extra post when I read the story of a wee girl with cancer who needs treatment in Germany as the options here have run out. I don’t exactly understand that since surely we share knowledge in the EU? But it’s a story I needed to share.

About midday I had a visit from my friend Lis whose going on holiday Sunday and wanted to see me before she left. She tells me the weather forecast in Cos isn’t mush better than we usually get here so I don’t envy her too much. The subject of Rob came up who’d died just a couple of weeks ago. His funeral was on Monday and it was apparently a sad and very moving occasion. Charlie ( Lis’s daughter) was there when a poem Rob had written for his wife was read out. Very touching.

When Lis left about 1.15 pm I made lunch , ate it, washed the pots and had half an hour in the chair with a chorus of Zzzzzzz’s after which I went back to work. Things were really going well and I’d even managed to fins what I think is a good present for my friend in America. But, with just 16 messages left to do the front door opened. It was 4.40 pm. I looked out of my room and there were Dil and Matt. ” Twenty to five, what’s this have you gone part time?” Dil responded with ” No, it’s twenty to six as usual, your watch must be wrong.” There was a moment of panic until I realised I was looking at the clock too and that said the same as my watch. He keeps a very straight face when he’s lying to me which is probably why he does so well at Balderdash. I left the messages and went to make drinks. Dil’d walking much better so the treatment for the gout must be working.

I’d had a message to say Lee couldn’t make it tonight so we got straight into battle. Matt was battling with a box of biscuits anyway. We had two games of scrabble which I won convincingly but mainly because poor Dil ended up with 7 vowels twice. Then it was a game of Trivial Pursuit which Dil said would leave us time for some cards. We started at 6.30 pm and finished just before 9.00 pm and BTW I won that too though we all had full discs. We had time for a swift game of Crazy 8’s where I was hammered. My final score something ridiculous like 249 and Dil’s 27 with Matt somewhere in between. They left at 9.30 pm as usual so I tidied up, washed the pots and came through to deal with the 16 messages….and the other 82 I’d accumulated. So as I say, it’s late now so this has been short.

Thursday. Another 4.35 am day though I had been up an hour earlier to go to the loo. I swear my bladder shrinks at night. I worked till 6.30 am, got a smirk from the fish as I fed them early and then went to sit down promptly falling asleep till 7.15 am. Back to the kitchen for my meds so I don’t kill anyone today and had some toast for breakfast. After that I took my coffee through and finished my messages before getting ready and going to Pauline’s to get my lottery tickets. Though it isn’t very far, it dos take me a while to walk there and back so once indoors I refreshed my emails . I realised I’d forgotten to buy my baps but didn’t feel like the walk again so I used the emails as an excuse. I was working through them when a knock came at the front door. It was my nephew David and I’d forgotten he was coming. He brought some first day covers and some coins for me to look at and advise him of values. I couldn’t help with the first day covers as I know nothing about them but was able to help a bit with the coins. I got my laminating machine out and let him seal some of the covers for protection.They’ll display better on his stall that way too.

When I can I like to donate things for his stall as he raises money for the hospice Julia was in. This week I was able to find some badges and other things from various orders. While looking I found a very chunky silver ring I bought some years ago emblazoned with the Prince of Wales feathers and his motto Ich Dien. It was a very large size. I gave it to David after we found it fitted him. I also found a doll for his daughter, my great niece which came from Japan and is in a beautiful costume with an obi. David hates to accept gifts and went out to his car. Despite my objections he gave me two boxes of metal badges depicting the Royal coats of arms of the English Monarchy, 30 beautifully enameled pieces in all I think. I know there are more to the sets so I’ll have to look out for them. David left about lunchtime to go and help someone decorate so I flew in here to bring the mail up to date. Then it was a late lunch of Irish Stew ( Oh why did I forget my baps?) a little TV then more work.

The afternoon flew by and wouldn’t you know it I didn’t have a cage handy so it was teatime before I knew it. I didn’t bother eating with lunch being so late but I did get to sit and watch my Antiques Road Show. It’s very tight tonight so I must be sure I don’t miss the culmination tomorrow. I also watched Law and Order, stayed awake through Murder She Writted and then saw a new episode of the Big Bang Theory. Poor Sheldon couldn’t decide which new games machine to buy and Raj got to date two women. There’s genuine comic relief in that show. After that it’s back here to work . Lift that barge, tote that bale and crack the whip.

Mischief Planning.

Mischief Planning.

They're not Cadbury's fingers but I'll eat them.

They’re not Cadbury’s fingers but I’ll eat them.

Friday. 3.54 am today and the scriptwriter of that particular comedy has some explaining to do. It’s getting so I’ll be rising before I’ve even gone to bed soon. Anyway, it did give me chance of an early start on the mail.  Among the batch this morning were two messages to say my account wirh Barclays has been suspended, one to say my account with Santander has been suspended and two purporting to be from paypal saying they haven’t been able to make payments to paypal on my behalf and I need to verify my bank details. I was so happy to see I haven’t managed to offend all the con artists out there yet. I swear though. the pages are more professional looking and the spelling has improved no end. Can I just make it clear to all you donkeys, it wouldn’t be worth your while attacking my bank accounts. Save yourselves the effort involved and just leave me alone.

At 7.00 am I went through to feed the fish and have some breakfast. Unfortunately I’d taken my before food tab when I realised I needed to fill up the drug case with another week’s supply. I had to move a lot smarter than usual to get it done and get my main tabs etc within the prescribed time limit, 15-20 minutes after I’ve taken the tab. I got washed and dressed before making my coffee today which I took through. There were only 6 more messages dammit so I was done pretty quickly. I’d run out of excuses why I couldn’t do some I***ing. I got the board out and started. A pair of pyjama trousers for Mike, 8 shirts and a pair of jeans for me. I’d had enough. There was a twinge of sciatica there. I left the instrument of torture out to cool but put the board away. The damn thing never seems to want to go back where it came from. Anyhoo it was time to sit down for a while. I put the clothes away ignoring the still overflowing basket and took to my chair. It wasn’t long before Old Ma Nature was tugging at my eyelids and I was well away.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I came awake with a start when a loud Boooong sound echoed through the house. I had time to wake up and think about it while my heart stopped racing and decided it was the I***ing board fallen over. I went through to the kitchen cursing under my breath. The board was still in place. I checked the cupboard and there were no signs of anything else that could have mad the sound. I visited each room in turn looking for something that had fallen but I came up with zilch. My latest theory is that some aliens have got it in for me because I won’t go and be harvested. It’s either that or I’m going mad and I’m sure none of you would believe that for a moment.

It was 11.00 am and I hadn’t heard from Mike so thought maybe he’s not coming this week. I checked my phone and the email in case he’s been in touch and brought myself up to date at the same time. I was just going to put the phone on charge when it tinkled ( NO, not like that). It was the usual message.”On way”, as it was 11.45 am I allowed 3 hours to make sure I was free when he came. I had a quick lunch while watching an antiques show and then went back to my home office ( sounds much better than ‘The Pit’ doesn’t it). At 2.30 pm I filled the kettle and set it to boil and readied Mike’s mug. It was 3.30 pm before he arrived because the traffic was bad he told me and because he’d stopped to eat on the way. Right, he won’t be wanting his main meal now then. We sat and chatted until about 5 pm and he decided some sandwiches later would be nice. I went out to the shop for bread and some meat and picked up some small cakes for him too. When I got back we watched a couple of quizzes, being very hit and miss with our answers tonight then decided to have a shower. Mike saw to my hair first so I didn’t have to raise my arms above my head. After the shower I made the sandwiches and we enjoyed them watching NCIS.  After that I excused myself for a while to come and attack some of my mail so I could be free for the new series of Law and Order. It’s such a different programme without the sardonic policeman Lennie, played by Jerry Orbach. So far I’ve only ever seen the episodes with him. I was shocked to see this series has Linus Roache starring as a deputy D.A. the son of our very own Bill Roache of Coronation Street.

TV over for the night ( my night anyway) I wished Mike goodnight and came through to work. It’s a late one but worth it.

Saturday. It was 5.10 am when I woke this morning. I was sitting in my chair  in the lounge. I’d woken at 2.04, found myself unable to go back to sleep where I was, had a cigarette, tried again and as the old saying goes, If at first you don’t succeed, beggar off and try elsewhere. I had a touch of sciatica and the cushion on my chair was heaven. So, 5.10 am and it’s getting light. I went to the kitchen and tormented the fish by pretending to feed then and then remembering it’s Saturday- diet day( fish only). To add insult to injury I had my breakfast, took all my meds then carried my coffee back to the bedroom home office. There was plenty of mail to keep me going, my friends in the Americas and the Antipodes having been busy overnight. Any number of great blog posts to comment on. When 7.00 am rolled round I was so smug with my progress I was almost whistling. Mike’s alarm went off. Obviously no need to worry or rush, I heard the thud as it hit the wall so I went and put the kettle on.

When the kettle boiled I made coffee and took it through. Knowing it would worry him and annoy him in equal measures I was cheerful. ” Coffee’s up Bro” quoth I. I left the room and came back to finish what I was doing and heard Mike pad pad along to the lounge. I finished the last message and pressed send. Then I sauntered into the lounge myself and said ” Good morning. Looks a bit grim out.” “Then put it away before someone sees it” he spat back casting a blacker cloud with his frown than the sky outside held. Minutes later, following a grim silence I heard “I’s awake now”. All I could say was “Oh dear!” We didn’t leave the house until 8.00 am at which times the heavens were opening. Just a little different from the forecast Mike mentioned last night of a great weekend. And even though the heavens had opened both out phones showed the forecast now as overcast. We had to give up plans of a visit to Llandudno and instead shop locally. Surprise Surprise we found ourselves in Asda. I was surprised to find a rack of really nice trousers ( men’s) for £2 the reason for which soon became apparent. They were either 32 waist-short leg, or 34 waist regular leg. I’d need two pairs to go round me. I did manage to find something for Reuben but at twice the price.

The main shop didn’ t take long but when we’d finished I was as usual parched. We got a drink in the MacDonald’s  cafe Mike having his usual and me having the stupidity to go for a mocha frappe. Have you ever got brain freeze and tried to keep your face as normal as possible so someone else doesn’t know. It’s damned near impossible so it wasn’t long before he was in stitches. “You never learn” he told me with obvious relish. We decided to stop in Flint on the way back to look for another bop bag for Reuben. The shop where I   bought the last one had run out and another place I expected to be lucky, I wasn’t. We picked up some chocolates and went to annoy Ceri in Temptations. Business was brisk but there was no way she and Mike weren’t going to trade insults. Ceri is one of those people who makes you smile just by seeing her. I left Mike there and went next door to look for the bop bag and I found some. I did get one but Mike reckons the face on it is likely to give Reuben nightmares.

We took the shopping home, unpacked it and put it away.I had a session back on the mail again, opened a parcel from the real postman which was the case for the phone and then looked at a catalogue until Mike was ready for lunch. We decided on- guess where- and I took a picture frame with me that Tariq is going to fit glass in…on the understanding he lets me pay him. We were halfway there when Mike asked if I’d remembered sweets. I hadn’t so I had to grovel an apology when we went in. This was another busy place. Tariq was helping cook as well as serving as Shella isn’t well. That’s a shame and we sent out best to her. Mike managed to chat Angie up as usual and was throwing double entendres out like there was no tomorrow. It was a really nice break. We took to the hills after lunch coming home the roundabout way to avoid Coast Road traffic. I had the pleasure of another couple of hours in here while Mike watched the Grand Prix jockeying for positions on the grid. I managed a couple of hours TV with him which included the last ever episode of the Tomorrow People. I swear they’re here today after having seen some of the current magicians on TV like Troy. Amazing.

So, Mike has the football now and I have chance to clear the decks before tomorrow. I hope you’ve had a nice week and wish you a Great one to come.

I'll see if I can get it all in Mummy

I’ll see if I can get it all in Mummy

Can you see my teef everyone?

Can you see my teef everyone?

Dribbly Tiger.

Dribbly Tiger.

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