Tag Archives: Post Office

Getting Plastered & American Mancunian, Australian?

Sunday 21st Feb.

The oddest thing. I read until about 1.00 am then settled to sleep but it was a while in coming because I couldn’t get comfortable. I heard Mike get up and come towards my room where he asked if  I’d heard an alarm go off. When I answered no he returned to his room muttering. Then he came back again, not thirty seconds had passed and asked if I was awake??? He thought maybe he hadn’t locked his son’s car because his own locks itself when he walks away from it.  He trotted off out in his dressing gown. True enough he hadn’t locked it but at least we found out it wasn’t his car alarm that had gone off.                                                                                                                                                          I fell asleep. Then I woke again to go to the loo about 2.15 am despite having been before I went to bed. I climbed back into bed and just dropped off again and didn’t wake up until 7.11 am. That’s a remarkable sleep and over 5 hours. It really has been a long time since I achieved that.

So, at 7.11 am I got up, went to the loo (again) and then carried on to the kitchen where I took my meds and made myself a coffee. Having logged in next I attacked the mail. 97 it read at that time. 99 it read half an hour later.Then slowly but surely the levels came down. I was determined to carry on working until Mike got up but I did go through to let Joey out at about 8.30 am. Just after 9.30 am I heard Mike wake up coughing, but I thought he settled down again so I carried on. At 10.00 am I heard Mike go to the loo so I went through to make him a coffee. In the lounge I saw he must already have been up because his cup wad there almost fully drunk. I waited.                            When he came back I asked why he hadn’t come through to say he was up  and he said he thought I was asleep because he couldn’t hear me tap-tapping. ( Put your hearing aids in Michael and then turn them on). He’d got up when the coughing had started and crept through in case I was asleep. No way would he catch me asleep at that time.    I stayed in the lounge with him until 11.00 am and then went to get dressed as he’s said yesterday that he wanted to go looking for a safe this morning. By the time I’d got dressed he’s changed his mind and wasn’t feeling well. I don’t know if it was because he’d had to make his own coffee or at the thought of spending money(not even his ).

Mike suggested as we weren’t going out that maybe I’d like to work for another hour and he could do the flowers. Half an hour later he’s in the bedroom bending my ear about politics and he hasn’t even  started the flowers. After a quarter hour he left me to carry on. At 12.30 pm when my hour was up  I went through to see to lunch and he was in the kitchen doing the flowers. The savage made me stand there holding a bin bag open so he could add his flower waste to it. Then left me to carry the full bag to the bin with not a thought for my back.Savage. I made lunch, a beef and black bean concoction he’s chosen yesterday and for me a boeuf bourgingnon and mash. We both quite enjoyed them.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Unfortunately I stayed in the lounge with him and after a while he looked sleepy. But, it was me who nodded off for an hour. Sometime during that hour he made his escape. I knew he was going back to Manchester to collect things from his dad’s flat before going back home to Rugby. I texted him there to say sorry I missed the big farewell scene. When I woke I came straight through to work. I stayed until 5.30 pm then went to get some tea so I could have my other diabetic meds. I found a film to watch until 7.00 pm.

I saw a film advertised for 9.00 pm with Simon Pegg which I thought I’d try so I devoted 7.00 – 9.00 pm to work so I could stay up. By 10.10 pm I’d given up as I’d not really been enjoying it. I know people swear, and I’m no prude but sometimes it’a overdone and I find it wearing. So, goodnight to Joey who’s been great today and I took my meds before coming through to work. As it happens for some reason the mail was mounting up again. Should still be n early night though about 11.30 ish.

Over the Garden Wall.

Over the Garden Wall.

The knitted baby. Outfit by her Auntie Lynne.

The knitted baby. Outfit by her Auntie Lynne.

Monday 22nd Feb.

When reading James Patterson, his chapters are so short you just fly through them. It’s so easy to get carried away and promise yourself ‘Just another two.’ I was in bed at 11.15 pm but read until 1.00 am because I couldn’t put the damned thing down. My right hand almost had to wrest it out of my left hand, put it down and turn the light out. I could not sleep on my back and had a bit of a time turning on to my side. Eventually I slept and as luck and maybe kindness would have it (thanks Somnos) I didn’t need a middle of the night loo trip. I woke and got up at 5.14 am. I made the morning pilgrimage and then came back to log on. 5.30 am came quickly so I nipped through to the kitchen to take my meds and make my one-a-day coffee. I was soon back in my seat attacking the mail.

There were about 20 pieces of mail left when I returned to my chair and by 6.10 am I as down to 11. Whenever I did one it seemed to be instantly replaced by a new one but instead of the new day’s mail coming in the usual rush, it took me up to 20 and then seemed to hover around that mark no matter how many I did. It always felt like less work. The highest it got was 31. At 7.45 am I put the washing machine on to complete while I worked.  I was finished and clear by 8.52 am and rapidly got dressed ready to go to the Post Office with a letter detailing my recent changes of income to the Housing Benefits Dept of the Council. I did that and then called at the sandwich shop for a sausage bap having decided that I wanted breakfast after all. I came home and took my pre-foodies then sorted Joey out with a new seed bell and had a shave. I ate the bap while working on mail that had come in while I was out, then took my post-foodies. It doesn’t matter now if I have my lunch a little late which is always likely anyway since Bev seems to be calling later this last few weeks.

After I was up to  date again I saw it was almost time for Homes Under the Hammer so I went through to join Joey. He became animated when the music came on and with me talking to him, but not for long. He soon adopted his crosspatch squawk that says he’s peeved at someone. I started falling asleep but he wasn’t having that and squawked louder still. There’s no ignoring him as he sounds like a torture victim from outside. I had to stand by the cage talking t him so he’s shut up. At 11.00 am I came back to the bedroom to work but I was trying to listen out for the drier finishing. I didn’t hear it so I went to check it at 11.30 am and folded all the bedding on to the airer. There was a programme on TV about people who put in false claims to insurance companies which was quite good. Surprising was the man who put some cars down as his on a multiple insurance for a garage business. He then created documents and sold policies to unsuspecting drivers for their cars who 18 months down the line tried to claim after accidents only to find they weren’t insured at all. It’s evil. I watched Bargain Hunt while waiting for Bev to come but no sign so at 1.00 pm when I went to work again I sent her a text to see if she was off. She texted back that she’d called on me about 10.30 am and used the bell. That was while I was watching HUtH so I was in. Perhaps I was in the kitchen and heard nothing because of the washing machine or maybe the bell didn’t work, though it did when I tested it later. At 1.45 pm I went for my lunch.

At 2.55 pm I finished my lunch. OK, I confess, I finished the kip after my lunch. Instead of returning to work I just watched Escape to The Country. When that was over at 3.45 pm I found more work than I’d expected in the mailbox. Since those fools in the BBC didn’t consult me first they’ve taken off my Road Trip so there was no need to return to  the TV until 6.00 pm when Missing-Without a Trace came on. I waited until the first adverts came on and made myself some tea. A packet of Cheddars, a chunk of Cadbury’s chocolate cake and just to show how health conscious I am, a rhubarb yoghurt. The second of my two shows has been removed by another channel, again without prior consultation with me, and replaced by something I don’t watch so I came back through here at 7.00 pm for a change. Poor Joey must think he’s in trouble. It gave me chance to finish the earlier work I hadn’t completed and also the new stuff you sadists had sent when my back was turned. I do need a life you know.                               I did find a couple of very interesting blogs. That of Opinionated Man  https://aopinionatedman.com/who had a fascinating childhood as an American child who didn’t like baseball! But whose wife is an accomplished artist with a very striking piece for sale. Also the wonderful Donna Parker http://yadadarcyyada.com/ who paid me the highest compliment possible in the comment section of her hilarious blog today. Donna and others are living proof that friendships as strong as those in everyday life are quite possible built on the net. I am possibly the luckiest man on the planet. Now if only I can find a blind lady with a dog that doesn’t bite, how nice that would be.

Early bed tonight and I hope the latest blustery rain had beaten itself out and we have a start like we had today. Sunny and bright but with a wonderful fresh nip in the air.

Monday Sunshine start.Fair of face and fffreezing.

Monday Sunshine start.Fair of face and fffreezing.

A born salesman or Knowing How to Regain First Place.

A born salesman or Knowing How to Regain First Place.

Tuesday 23rd Feb

I got my early night and was in bed for 11.15 pm . I read till 12.30 am and didn’t want to stop but I’m on my last few chapters with no books in reserve. Out went the lights and I settled down. I don’t think sleep was long in coming. This morning I woke at 3.47 am and though I knew I’d be getting up I didn’t want to move from the warmth and just lay there plucking up courage to move until 4.13 am. When I did move I donned my dressing gown and paid a visit to the loo. From there I went to the kitchen and had my foodie tabs so that I could eat breakfast, Shreddies today, and then I took my morning meds and made a coffee to take back to my desk.

I logged on and started work on the mail. Things were going pretty well but my attention must have wandered because without me noticing it had suddenly reached 6.20 am. With shock and horror I noticed the dozen or so I had left was now 84. I had to break away for a quick weep while I got dressed. As I came back the number was now 92. I did 2 and that left a balance of 92 ……again? By the time 7.20 am came and I had to get my coat on to head for the bus stop I was leaving just 80. It wasn’t light enough for Joey to be out yet but I did open his cage ready before I walked up the road.                                                                                                                                                                                             I got my favourite seat on the bus. Stuck my shopping bag of gifts between my legs, put my chin on the armhole of my crutches and nodded off. Not heavily enough that I could sleep through my stop but enough to discourage conversation. The journey wasn’t bad and we arrived on time. Since Yvonne wasn’t at the bus stop I started walking in the direction they’d appear from. When I saw them Yvonne spotted me and was telling Reuben Pops was coming. It was an age before he saw me but what a roar he let out. I hope she never takes the chains off…….. When we were closer he was able to run up and grab my legs. It was a rugby tackle I think. I got up off the floor to hug Yvonne and to look in the pram at Amelie as we decided where we were going.

We settled on our usual shop first Primark, which meant we could go for a coffee and toast (insisted upon even though I’d had breakfast) and a sit down while Amelie was fed. I knew Yvonne needed some more bodysuits for Amelie. Once we’d had coffee and Amelie was getting her milk straight from the source, I told Yvonne I was going to have a wander down and see if they were doing any summer colours in the men’s jeans ( as if) which meant I could get the bodysuits, some shoes and a little dress for Amelie as well as a gilet, teeshirt and some jeans for Roobs. Fait accomplis means no arguments. Mind you, she did finish feeding baby and try to have a race to the till to stop me. Downstairs I was able to get a nightie and a top for her while her eyes were otherwise occupied. She was a very close second at the till though so I know the back is slowing me up.

Yvonne needed a visit to NEXT next (echo) at which point the pram in my hands exploded in a earful rebuke that a. I wasn’t feeding her and b. I wasn’t rocking the pram hard enough. We weren’t too far from a little Methodist church that has a playroom and a small cafe. Roobs would be fine playing with the toys there, Yvonne and I could have a drink and she could also feed Amelie again, after which I would get to hold her again. It all depended on me being able to get into church without being struck by lightning or scarred by holy water though at the price of water these days I reckon the one who bought it was more likely to be scarred. It was after the drinks that I saw I needed to depart so I said good bye and galloped off as best I could. They were about 10 seconds behind me at the bus stop, just as my bus arrived so I got another goodbye.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             By this point you’ll realise I’ve had two drinks and am about to spend an hour or so on the bus. For most of the journey it was a repeat of the inward one, eyes closed, gently nodding. quietly seething that someone else nicked my seat……. but somewhere it started to get a tad uncomfortable. When I got off the bus I blanched at the thought of how far it was to the house. I had to pass the shops and I had to ask myself if I was prepared to go home and come out again or would will power win out. Idiocy certainly did because I went into Pauline’s. She was in chat mode…aaarrrrggh….and I was so glad when another customer reached the counter. I got home as fast as I could. Transferring my shopping bag from right to left hand while in motion so my right hand was free to dip for the keys was an accident waiting to happen. I reached the front door. By now I was hopping up and down on alternate legs and my body was writhing but I managed to open the door. I didn’t have time to remove the crutches and the shopping bag was thrown anywhere as I darted for the loo. I was a fraction of a second away from not needing too dart there, but to dart for the mop and bucket instead. I wee’d for about an hour. Joey had heard me and was tweeting like billyo to remind me he was there. ‘Drained’ in more ways than one I went through to the lounge,collecting the abandoned shopping on the way. I talked to Joey for a minute and then apologised and said I’d be with him asap.                                                                                                                  I went to remove my crutches, my gloves, coat and shoes then checked the new level of post. 84 ,where I’d started the morning.

It was 1.05 pm so I just sat and worked. By 4.30 pm I was getting there and by 4.55 pm I’d only 20 left. I went through to the lounge and put the TV on to a programme I haven’t seen in a long time, Cold Case. While I was watching it I’d put a chips and curry sauce in the micro for tea and taken my tablets. I enjoyed it. I watched Missing, Without a Trace then Murder She Wrote before coming back through at 8.00pm. I’ve spent till 10.30 pm emptying my mail box and now started on the blog. Fingers crossed for 11.30 pm bed.

The Understanding

The Understanding

Contentment with a mouthful of bib.

Contentment with a mouthful of bib.

And this is for the Beautiful Donna, my friend.

Wednesday 24th Feb.

Bed at 11.40 pm after plastering my feet in gunk and applying a Chinese herbal plaster to my back….or rather to my pyjama trousers and my teeshirt . I finished my book and made a start on a new one and read until 12.30 am. Then it was lights out and settle down. I found it easier to sleep on my side because I kept sticking to the bottom sheet with the plaster which seems to have got as wrinkled as heck in the process of settling.  It seems to be one of the most awkward things in the word, trying to slap a large plaster on your own back straight. I’m sure there’s a knack but I don’t have it. I slept until 4.48 am with no interruptions which is around the four hour mark and not too bad.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I paid a visit a visit to the loo and then carried straight on to the kitchen where I had a toasted bap for breakfast. I found this morning how true it is tht men are not capable of performing two tasks at once. I put a tablet in my mouth and a sip of milk then started to shake two little sachets of my sugar substitute to get it to the bottom while I tore the top off. So intent was I in performing that simple task that I quite forgot to swallow the tablet and the damn thing dissolved in my mouth.                                           When I returned with my morning coffee I logged on to the computer and my gmails. It was not too bad and just took me nicely to 6.08 am allowing me a slight breather before the deluge.

After the new mail came the only break I got was at 8.30 am to let Joey out of his cage. I was kept hard at it otherwise until 10.10 am so I missed the start of Homes Under the Hammer. Joey didn’t seem to mind. What we did wonder though was where the heck the new cleaner is. I wondered the same thing at 11.00 am as I returned to my room. I sent a text to make sure I had the day right and she responded she was in a meeting but would be here. At 12.30[pm I was in a panic as I wanted to go to the chippy for some lunch but a new text arrived to say she’d be here at 1.00 pm. I went to get my lunch, came back and ate it. She arrived about 1.15 pm and went to work on the bathroom almost straight away. Down came the curtains which were give to me to put in the wash, which I did. She did a very thorough job in there and I’m afraid to go in now in case I  dirty it again. I’m not sure how long I can keep these legs crossed though. I wonder if Bert next door will let me use his. Joey was in his cage so I cleaned off the mirror above which sent him flying out of the cage and in circles above my head gasping for breath. The loon didn’t even have the sense to find a different perch. The minute I stopped cleaning, even though I was there next to the cage, he landed on the mirror near me. Panic for nothing.

Jade left at 3.00 pm and after I’d paid her I settled down with Joey. I watched A House in the Country where a mother and son viewed properties which were to include his wife and his mother in law. They had a budget of £1.2m and saw some fantastic places. At 3.45 pm though I went back to catch up on any outstanding mail before my brother arrived. At 4..30 pm I went to watch Flog It.

As I reached the lounge Dil arrived. I made him a cup of tea and we watched Flog It together then Pointless. As soon as that was over the grudge matches started. Out came the Yahtzee and of the first six games I deservedly won 4-2. In the second six games something went awry and Dil undeservedly won 5-1. It was a fix and I’m sure he used weighted dice on his turn. When we eventually finished that and I’d stopped communicating with him in sign language, using only one finger mainly, out came the Trivial Pursuits. I gained my first four slices of pie before he’d got his first but then things turned a bit and he pulled three back. I went to five, he went to four. I got my last piece and started heading for the middle. It was outrageous, I couldn’t land in the middle to save my life and Dil managed to get his last two pieces of pie. It was a desperate battle ensued then as we both struggled for the centre. We both made it and asked each other questions we didn’t think the other could answer. But with a bit of judicious reading upside down I was OK in the end. I WON!!!!! Unfortunately someone had taken so long playing that we didn’t have time for any cards and Dil had to return home where it was snowing and his wife phoned to let him know. Here it was just bucketing down with rain as usual. Dil left and I tidied up and washed the pots , took my meds and came through.

There was plenty of post to do But hey, I have the time don’t I. Who needs sleep anyway. I started the blog at 11.12 pm so I should be in bed around midnight.

Before climbing into bed I removed the plaster which had been on he prescribed 24 hours. It came complete with hairs and I bit my tongue rather than scream.

Confirmation of the haircut and shave,

Confirmation of the haircut and shave, Spring is due.

Family Group. Me and my Fan Club.

Family Group. Me and my Fan Club.

Thursday 25th Feb

I could only read until 12.35 am last night as the yawns were threatening to unhinge my jaw. I hadn’t got to bed until 12.08 am so it wasn’t much of a read, and it was mid chapter, but it promised to be a good sleep. I snuggled down and slept. It was 3.53 am when I woke and a couple of minutes was enough to convince me I wasn’t going to nod off again. I trotted off to the loo to widdle for Britain before carrying on to the kitchen to make breakfast and have my meds. As yesterday I had a toasted bap to use the last one in the packet and also to preserve the milk for when Mike arrives. I returned with a coffee to log onto the computer and attack my mail. I was about 3 in when the system shut down without warning compliments of Microsoft. There was  a little blue tinge to the air above my head as I logged on again.                                                                I worked and worked. At 7.30 am I must have glanced at the clock then whoomf I was gone and didn’t wake until 9.05 am. I was horrified, all that time wasted and a mail count now of 81. Joey wasn’t happy with me either as I ran to open his cage door. I didn’t know budgies could scowl. I came back and got dressed then went to Pauline’s for my lottery , some ciggies and a BFG that accidentally fell out of the freezer into my basket. I was charged for it at the till before I knew it was there. It would have been inconsiderate to ask Pauline to knock it off my bill so I just handed her the money. I was doing a good turn anyway since I am a founder member of SOG and I’m a proud Soggie. (Save our gateaux).

I returned to work, even giving up my HUtH . Until I was clear at 11.20 am. Time to see to Joey’s water and seed before starting to peel my sweet potatoes.                                 I made my usual Thursday lunch bangers and mash (sweet potato) with mixes veg and onion gravy, I used a whole onion for that. I’d finished making it in time to sit and enjoy Bargain Hunt though I got up and washed the pots before the auction. I didn’t even sleep through it. At 1.00 pm I returned to my room knowing some post would have accumulated since I’d left.It had. Doing it presented no problem though, I was in no rush. At 3.00 pm I went to watch Escape to the Country. The mystery House was an oast house conversion and it was beautiful.The couple searching for a house understandably fell in love with it . At the end of the programme it said they had put in an offer and had it accepted. 13 weeks after moving in there was a devastating fire. That leads me to presume they don’t live there now but the programme did say we’d be catching up with them in a couple of months. I hope to see that and hope neither was hurt. At 3.45 pm as I was just about to leave the room, Mike sent his usual ‘On my way bro’ text so I’ll expect him around 6.00 pm with luck. In the meantime I worked until 4.30 pm and then went to see Flog It.

After Flog It was part way over I turned to Cold Case and then Without a Trace. Mike arrived a few minutes into Cold Case and I had to explain it. In Without a Trace I had to point out Anthony la Plagia out to him a we’d had a conversation a few weeks ago about Frasier. In Frasier the character Daphne Moon was preparing to get married and her loutish brother from Manchester comes to stay, played by Anthony la Plagia. I’d said the accent was atrocious and instead of an American, surely they must be able to find a Mancunian actor over there. Mike looked him up and it seems he’s not an American either but an Australian.                                                                                                         While Mike watched Manchester United win on his ipad I watched MASH until it was time for Death in Paradise. I’m so envious of the actors who get to stroll around in the sunshine and the beauty of wherever it’s filmed  that I’m half tempted to go and bump them off and just let the director know I’m available for a small fee.

At 10.00 pm I came through to deal with the post and the blog. I was doing OK until Mike came through to ask how my hands are shaking at the moment. He wants me to trim his beard. I’ll do it gladly, but not until I’ve been to the chemist tomorrow to stock up on a styptic pencil and a lot of plasters (band aids). I was finished with the mail at 11.04 pm and ready to start the blog straight away. Midnight is my target.

Just in case you forget

Just in case you forget

King of the Castle

King of the Castle

Friday 26th Feb.

12.02 am to bed, 12.47 lights out, and because I was tired, 12.48 sleep. I was up at 4.03 am again and went straight to my mail box. I kept going until 5.10 am then nipped to the loo and then to the kitchen to take my meds and start the Friday routine. That meant refilling my meds tray for the next week so I got my medicine drawer from the lounge and started the process, filling the drawer from my latest batch of drugs as needed. Then I suddenly decided to have breakfast and thought while I waited for the pre-food tabs to do their job, I’d spend the 15-20 mins rehanging my bathroom curtains I’d washed on Wednesday. That was knocked on the head when I realised I’d need the ladders and I didn’t want to get those out and risk disturbing Mike (by screaming as I fell off). That job could wait. So, I had a cigarette for timing and then ate a bowl of cornflakes (but not the bowl as well). Coming back with my coffee I found it was 6.01 am and I just had the chance to finish the last of last night’s mail before the new batch arrived.

There was a lot of mail this morning but at some point after 8.30 am I packed in halfway through one and lay on the bed before I fell out of my chair. Tiredness just hit me like a sledgehammer. I slept till 9.15 am then got up and finished the message I was working on. I only managed to do one more before at 9.35 am Mike got up. A big surprise. I went and made his coffee. As he sat down with it, I went and got the ladders out and set them up in the bathroom. I’d just started to put the first curtain back up when Mike appeared needing the bathroom and I had to depart. Getting down the ladders in one piece was a miracle. I went to talk to Joey for a few minutes. When I heard the bathroom door open I went back just as Mike was climbing the ladders to finish the curtain I’d started. He asked me to pass the second one which I did and up that went too. I thanked him and put the ladders back……. I wish I’d let him get off first, they were really heavy. We went to watch HUtH before he finally went to get dressed to go out and he suggested I get dressed too. Good idea really as the postman came minutes later, and me opening the door in my dressing gown might have been a shock. After all, not many dressing gowns have a door do they.

I returned to work and Mike left to travel to Manchester. I was determined to make up for the skiving this morning and worked until 12.10 pm before going through to get lunch and watch Bargain Hunt. I’d made a good hole in the numbers by then. When I went back at 1.00 pm the numbers had gone up a bit but were still manageable. I was done by 2.30 pm. I did Joey’s seed and water so he thought all his birthday’s had come at once, Who’s a cheeky boy then. I caught the latter half of a programme called Moving On which was excellent and then sat through Escape to The Country.                                                                                                                                                                                                 Knowing I wanted to be back in there for 4.30 pm and Flog It I spent up until that time catching up on mail, doing some Facebook messages (I don’t go to Facebook unless forced) and leaving feedback on ebay.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Part way through Flog It I received a text to let me know Mike was on his way. I was surprised as he’s not usually this early. At 5.00 pm I watched Cold Case then just as it finished and Without a Trace came on Mike arrived do I made him a coffee and he told me about his day. We were expecting a Road Trip at 7.00 pm but it had been replaced with the biography of an amazing man who Mike tells me died last week. A man who was in Berlin at the 1936 Olympics and saw Jesse Owens, who flew with the second highest air -ace from the Luftwaffe WW1 and then returned home to fight in the Navy as a pilot for WW2. He landed planes on aircraft carriers. After the war he was the first person to land a jet on a ship. We watched Mastermind still a bit open mouthed.

At 8.30 am I went for my shower. After it was over Mike kindly applied a new plaster to my back without attaching it to a single item of clothing. He made me promise it would hurt to take off and he wants to be within earshot when it does. I don’t see why, the hairs have already gone.                                                                                                                   The film Philomena came on at 9.00 pm and I watched with him until 9.45 pm then made him a drink before disappearing to my room. Lots of mail again and very strangely more new followers. They seem to be getting younger and I don’t understand the appeal. It was almost 11.00 pm before I finished though and had to go straight to the blog. I’m setting a midnight limit as it’s shopping day tomorrow.

Down by the River Dee

Down by the River Dee

Welcome, do sit down.

Welcome, do sit down.

Saturday 227th Feb.

Midnight bed, well a couple of minutes later maybe after getting the gunk on my legs. I slid between the sheets, I read until 1.05 to finish a chapter. It took ages to settle again, perhaps because I kept sliding down the bed. memo to self, use less gunk on legs. 2.24 am I awoke but after a trip to the loo I knew I wasn’t staying up. I couldn’t get to sleep though so moved my ‘booty’ to my chair in the lounge. I soon managed to nod off there. It was  4.29 am when I woke there knowing my night was over. Not a problem though as I could probably clear the outstanding mail before the new batch (no, not the Gremlins). I did manage to clear it, but what a close call it was.

Mike’s first alarm went off at 6.15 am. Knowing they could fly to the moon and open an Edam Cheese Mine before he’ll move I strolled to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Let’s skip to the chase eh, it was 6.50 am before he got his a*** into gear and brought his rapidly cooling coffee to the lounge so he could promptly fall asleep hunched over in his chair. I turned the searchlight on to hit him full in the face and reminded him not to forget his coffee as I took the food waste out of the kitchen to the bin. When I returned things had changed. He was asleep hunched over in his chair but now he was holding his mug in both hands. I daren’t speak for fear of startling him and of course it would be my fault there was a broken mug and a brown puddle on the floor to go with the spilled coffee. I tried to lift the mug from his hands first and his eyes flew open straight away. He lifted the mug to his mouth saying “I haven’t finished it yet.”                                                                                                                                                                                                I took the rubbish out next and when I got back he was having a huge coughing fit ( drink it Michael, you can’t breathe it). He went off to get dressed.

We left the house at 7.30 am today and it was almost 7.50 am when we reached the Supermarket. Mike got the trolley, I got the cash. Time for a change of role I’m thinking. We started with flowers for Ju and chose what I think looked a nice bunch. Then it was the normal clockwise tour picking items I needed as we went. I won’t bore you (this time) with what I bought but we were soon at the checkout where I’m afraid he was disappointed again at how little I had spent. Then coffee time. While Mike ordered,I got my cigarettes. When we’d done, Mike picked up something from the ciggie counter while I had a look at the photography section to see if there were any nice frames on a special. They are good to have in for gifts or if I need them on the wall of shame.                                                                                                                                                                   After packing the car we called in at Pets at Home where I got Joey some seed but Mike didn’t get what he wanted. I suggested the internet. Then it was on to Flint and a coffee at Temptations, he had his usual. We found out a member of staff is single and he registered an interest with the others to put in a good word for him.I didn’t know it wasn’t just sailors could have a girl in every port, or in his case a port in every girl to ease the mood. We avoided being thrown out.

From there we looked at a few shops while a decision was made about where we’d eat today. As we left Flint it seemed the car had it’s own ideas and pointed in the direction of Prestatyn. But, when we got there, Mike didn’t park in the usual place but did the guided tour version until he found a pay and display car park we’d already passed once. We visited a little cafe we’d been to a few weeks ago. Both of us ended up with braised steak, I had chips and peas with mine, he had boiled pots and peas with his. It was very nice and it meant I’m in with a good chance of a Sunday roast dinner tomorrow now. We had a very quick look round one shop after leaving the cafe then headed for home. We struggled in with the bags at the other end and I almost tripped over a copy of The Watchtower on the mat. Religion had been out to get me for years. I didn’t venture further into the house until Mike was in and I could close the door. He went through to the kitchen , passing through the lounge first. I winced as the expected happened. Squawks and screeches galore, Joey really let rip at him. I came in a little more slowly, dumped the bags in the kitchen and came back talking in my most soothing voice about how he was my best boy Joey, Joey, Joey. He wasn’t hoodwinked for a minute and upped the tirade a notch or three. I backed gently away and started unpacking shopping and putting it away. I had the upper hand. Mike moved the car as the bin men were coming. I put the last of the shopping away and as Mike returned I said I was going to start work and not to forget to look at ebay for his fish food. That left him with Joey and me in complete peace. He does not like being left on his own for long which is strange as he never comes to either of us.

I worked from 2.00 pm to 6.00 pm without a break and just left a few undone. When I went through, Mike had found what he wanted, managed a kip though he wouldn’t admit it and then sat playing computer games. We turned TV on and found an easy programme to watch which also gave me chance to make some tea. Then we watched the last episode of Beowulf that Mike had missed. Then, a huge mistake, I turned onto Inspector Alleyn which was from the ark and badly overacted. I went to sleep in desperation. Unfortunately it was still on when I woke half an hour later. At 9.00 pm Mike wanted to watch an episode of something called The 100 so I was given the chance to leave and come back to work. By 10.40 pm I was up to date finally and able to look at the blog.

The new jumper

The new jumper

First library card

First library card

 

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Sunday

Sunday 22nd March 2015

it was another late night being a Saturday and it was a 1.00 am turn off the light but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t long in sleeping which in this house, for me anyway, is not the same as sleeping long. Having said that, I must be back in as the Golden Boy of the small gods promotion society as I was left until 4.39 am this morning. Three and a half hours continuous unbroken sleep. I dread to think what the cost will be. The gods are in the habit of selling you a favour and allowing you to have it, before you were even aware you wanted it. It does kind of put things in their favour when it comes time to collect. I got up, paid my visit to the loo, padding along the passageway to avoid waking Mike. Coming back I powered up the computer and signed in. First job, check the lottery and thunderball. Second job, dry my eyes. Then on with the post, and what a lot there was. I worked till 7.00 am without seeming to see the numbers go down at all.

Big Al came to greet me this morning and unless I’m mistaken it was in a friendly way rather than the usual “Where’s my food fool”? attitude. I’m so pleased to see him and the rest of the Famous Five that I shower them with some of the top food and put an algae tablet in. Whistling a little of The Gang’s All Here, I turn and take my meds then make a coffee to take back with me. All of a sudden I start making good progress. At 9.30 am I’m within 3 or 4 of being up to date when I hear a sound.I had to stop and listen as I’ve heard a similar sound before but it’s so very rare. Mike appears at my door Gasp! Cheeky burger was creeping to see if I was awake. I apologised for not moving when I first heard him but I was really trying to finish. He told me to carry on so I did and a few minutes later joined him in the kitchen where he still hadn’t made himself a drink. I put the kettle on. He was engrossed in something in the fish tank from hell. Some part of a plant had come loose and he’d found another corpse, I just glanced at where he pointed and asked whether something else was a rock. It wasn’t. He dipped the net and brought out two corpses. Unrecognisable for the beautiful fish they once were. I was in the meantime counting wildly trying to come up with my five survivors and hoping these two were he last. The Famous Five were all accounted for.

Because of problems with the car Mike hadn’t been able to do a run to his Dad’s on Friday.I knew he wanted t go this afternoon so when he asked what our plans were for this morning I suggested we went to the Bells but for breakfast instead of lunch. We’ve always said we’ll try it. We didn’t rush too much and got there about 11.00 am. The sign says it’s an eat all you want breakfast and I’m astounded when I see that nothing is restricted. You can help yourself to bacon ( fools), sausages, eggs, fried bread, hash browns, plum tomatoes and beans, even chips, and then you can have as much toast as you want. It was £3.99 and I think between the two of us we must have bankrupted them. I was waiting for them to pay us to leave.When we left there about 12.30 pm we headed towards home but had a little detour to the gift shop at Abakhan. I thought we were going to have a drink there but Mike said “Let’s have one at home” which was two minutes away. I stepped out into the beautiful sunshine and felt ill, no it wasn’t my breakfast coming back to haunt me, I had to slow up a minute until Mike turned round and came back asking what was wrong. “Nothing, just fancied a cigarette” I said. He put on that very whiney voice and repeated it with such sarcasm.He put a hand in my coat pocket and passed me my spray as the pain really hit. There was a bench close by. And all the time this mocking voice is bouncing round my ears “What’s wrong? Nothing. Liar, I can always tell, it’s your chest again”  I offer “If you know so bloody much why’re you asking?” We have a cigarette and then go to the car.

At home, I sit in the chair and the need to sleep hits. Mike has a coffee and when I come round he’s ready to go. I won’t see him for a month now so no more bullying or nagging for a while. Scratch that, I meant from him, I’m not for one minute suggesting Yvonne won’t. I walk slowly out to the car with him to collect my blue badge ( disabled parking scheme) and wave him off. Back inside again I have no choice but to start on the emails. Whoa, far too many.I had nearly 4 hours of that because at 6.55 pm I intend to take a break and watch Lara Croft. I’m afraid if I work straight through I’ll have another angina attack .I stayed awake and even enjoyed the film but at 9.00 pm I came through to face the music.92 more emails in three hours. I worked until 11.00 pm then started this blog and I’ll decide afterwards if I carry on or go to bed.

Someone pinched my pedals

Someone pinched my pedals

This is more my mode of transport Mum.

This is more my mode of transport Mum.

Monday.

I don’t know whether to scream “Disaster” or offer thanks. I’d turned my light off at 1.00 am and was fairly quickly off to sleep I think. When I woke again I felt refreshed and swung my legs out of bed. I’d seen the glow of the clock but paid no attention, now I did.  It was 2.20 am. I paid a visit to the loo which only served to wake me more and came back to power up and log on. I knew if I did become tired again I could go back to bed for a while as 80 minutes sleep is pushing it even for me. But when I logged in and saw how much work was left from my backlog of yesterday with more having come in during the morning I thought maybe as I was going out again today, it would be good to get rid of the backlog completely. So that’s what I did. I was finished not long after 6.00 am and up to date, giving me the chance to put on a guest blog by my old friend Sarah Mallery which wasn’t due until tomorrow. I hoped she’d be pleased when she saw it up. At 7.00 am I went through to the kitchen and turned the tank light on. I was chuffed to see the Famous Five come and greet me. Yes OK, I know it could be construed that they were waiting for the food they knew was coming, but I’m sticking with my own line of thought here.

I left my friends ( yes, I have got some) chomping on their little food granules and turned to take my meds. There are some quite big snails on the glass of the tank. I know it means good water. I haven’t seen my assassin snails in an age so I’d better get some more of those. Tablets done I made a coffee and wandered back to the bedroom. Not too much come through while I was out of the room so easily dealt with. I opened the second email address and sorted that one too. It reminded me that I’d ordered some Tudor roses for MuJo to stick on the four poster and I hoped they’d maybe turn up today. I know they were posted on Friday but probably second class. The slow pace of the morning so far was nice. I was able to take my time getting dressed which meant I could colour co-ordinate though even now I can hear my Julia’s voice saying ” Not orange and blue together darling, you look like a bruised tangerine,” OK maybe that’s not quite what she’d say but you get the gist. She was a very gentle person who enjoyed ribbing me but who never tried to hurt, at least never after the great ‘No yellow shirts with your complexion even if they are your favourites’ debacle.

The postman came early and I was pleased to see the Tudor roses delivered. Less pleased to see them described as Yorkshire Roses merely because they were uncoloured, I almost got a red pen out. I guess the War of the Roses isn’t over yet. It’s strange to think that we carry on this joke between Lancashire and Yorkshire because of cricket these days. I actually like Yorkshire very much though I still maintain these are Tudor roses. Anyway they arrived. I ordered 4 for Mujo and a further 4 for me though I haven’t the foggiest idea why now. I couldn’t do my washing this morning as I’ve no idea what time they’ll turn up and what time they’ll want to go out.                                          As it happened they arrived at 10.20 am at which point I was still up to date with my mail. I saw to the drinks and then passed John the packets with the Tudor roses and the gargoyles. He was over the moon with them and knew just where on the bedposts they were going. We chatted for a while and batted about different places we might like to go but it was the chippie that won out. We went and had a pleasant meal there, followed by a ride over to Flint and to Aldi so Muriel could do some shopping. That suited me down to the ground as I wasn’t too happy with Julia’s flowers and needed some more. I got three more bunches including some daffodils. Hopefully as they open the vase will look stunning and full of colour for her.

From Aldi Muriel drove to Asda and then on to Temptations where we had a nice drink and I got to hold Ceri’s hand for a minute.( Sorry Mike, you should have been here).Coming out of there we had a look round a few shops ans MuJo were able to find another pair of curtains they needed. A successful day. We drove back to my place where I sorted John with a drink while Muriel went to Pauline’s for their lottery tickets. At about 4.15 pm they left to go home and after giving them a wave I came in to start work, or such was the intent. I certainly did some work but I have no idea how much before I was suddenly no longer here. That may have been at about 5.00 pm and the next thing I knew I was waking up in my office chair, in front of my monitor at 7.10 pm. A real break only I couldn’t get myself together enough to work out what I’d been doing or what I was supposed to do next. It took a few minutes. A real day off. I carried on as best I could from that point until it became time to stop and do the blog. And here we are again.

A toll? I'm not paying a toll.

A toll? I’m not paying a toll.

Is choo Lookin' at me?

Is choo Lookin’ at me?

Tuesday.

At last I’m back in favour. Should anyone ask I’ve been plugging Somnos daily and twice on Sundays. I turned my light off at 1.00 am and didn’t wake until 4.49 am which was wunnerful. Early enough to work before I go out but late enough for me to feel I’ve had a good sleep. Talking of work, there wasn’t as much as I feared from last night  and not too much early morning stuff to scare me, and believe me, I scare easy. Naturally my day couldn’t start without the waterfall effect and today I was able to make as much noise as I wanted with Mike not being here. That’s always assuming he’d hear me anyway. When I came back through I powered up and signed in. With a smile on my face I started.

The smile wavered a bit when I came to an email about a firm wanting to place a large order for my product and the money was on hand to pay for it. I had to sit and puzzle out what my product might be. I can only think it’s words so I sent them a link to an online dictionary. Not that I needed their money anyway since an attractive ( I’m guessing) young Nigerian lady has offered me 40% of her late father’s fortune (worth squillions) if I can only help her get it from under the nose on her Aunt who wants to force her to marry and give up her rights. However if I (Prince Charming and NO arguments) can arrange with the holding bank to transfer it…..well who knows. Wedding bells maybe as she knows my character is good (fool). After that, everything else seemed flat even with the jokes sent to entertain me. Still, I persevered until 6.00 am when I decided the fish were deserving of my company. Big Al and Pepper cam up to be fed when I turned the tank light on. The little bronze cory wasn’t too far behind. Little Al was poking about at the back and didn’t seem interested at first and the hoplo I couldn’t see. Not as worrying as it would have been a few days ago. Fair play, he did stop playing silly beggars before I left and he came looking for grub.

I left the fish and turned to taking my drugs and sprays before making myself a coffee. After putting the drink on my desk I concentrated on getting ready to go out so I’d have no last minute rushes though the words rush and David aren’t a natural marriage like Mike and sleep are.Once I’d pondered what to wear and actually got dressed I returned to work and made short shrift of what was outstanding. By 7.20 am my mail boxes were clear. I even managed a cheeky look at ebay before having to go out at 7.30 am. I reached the bus stop well ahead of the bus so had to walk the whole distance for a change. I did manage to get my breath back before the bus arrived and as I was the only passenger settled in my favourite seat. After a few minutes we set off and when we stopped in town I closed my eyes so I didn’t encourage chatter from anyone getting on. It was a pretty good journey and we arrived in Chester at 8.40 am. It was pretty cold and damp. I saw Yvonne waving to me in the distance and walked towards her, hiding behind a pillar as she got close. Reuben hadn’t spotted me so when I jumped out and said “Boo”he was giggling like mad. Our cafe wouldn’t open for 15 minutes so we walked round a shop that was open and picked up a couple of books for Reuben. Then it was time for coffee, and in my case a sausage and red onion toastie that Yvonne decided I wanted. It was very nice. After that we went and found some outfits for Reuben, sunglasses for Ugo and Yvonne and left.

We wandered round a few more shops during the course of the morning.I’d told Yvonne I needed to leave early today so I didn’t get into the same backlog situation I encountered over the weekend and yesterday. Anything more than a couple of hours out of the house is horrific. Eventually time to go was upon us. They walked me to my bus stop and waited with me until it arrived. I wasn’t first in the queue and my seat wasn’t available but I found a double nearby. As the bus left I waved to Reuben who was looking in the wrong direction smiling at a stranger. The journey was tolerable though I had to keep my eyes closed when someone sat beside me. Back at home I emailed Yvonne to thank her for the morning an passed her the details of some appointments I needed, hopefully two close together on the same day. She emailed me back with the dates and times and she’s actually managed to get what I want. There were 192 messages with more coming all the time so I made a start. By 3.00 pm the computer fan was whining so I took a break and had lunch while watching an episode of Escape to the Country. After lunch I washed up and returned to work again. If only the hourly rate was better I could be quite content.

By 5.00 pm I was feeling decidedly sleepy so went to sit in the lounge with the TV on. It worked like a charm, I fell asleep until 6.10 pm. I turned the tank light off, wished the fish goodnight and came back to work. No breaks since then. Each time I think I’m making great progress somebody writes to me. Still, I stopped at 10.30 pm to do the blog and I’m unsure if I’ll go back to it as I’m at home tomorrow daytime and may catch up then. Of course it’s games night at the other end but I’ll save the moaning about that till it happens.

The Winnah!!

The Winnah!!

The lap of honour.

The lap of honour.

Wednesday.

Well, I had an early night last night. In bed for 11.30 pm with a quick “Damn the rest of the mail until the morning.” I read until 12.30 am then turned my light off and settled down. I think Porcinus must have come to make sure I went to sleep because of the pervading smell of damp pig and I seemed to be counting pigs leaping a small gate as I drifted off. I woke at 3.24 am and felt ready to go into battle again. Not until I’d been to the loo of course. I turned my light on so I had no stubbed toes and I didn’t knock anything off/over on my travels. When I got back to my room I powered up the desk top and signed in. By 6.00 am I’d dealt with all last night’s late post including two very strange messages. One which stated VIRUS DETECTED AND ERASED which when opened had a weird message about how business was at this end and how they looked forward to doing business. The second had a subject of ‘ See what Morrison’s ( a Supermarket chain) have for you, which when opened was blank. I was expected to open an attachment which I refused to do since the sender was a private address. Maybe they thought people would be too tired at night to question their veracity and would open them regardless though it’s more likely to be that it’s a reasonable time of day wherever the senders are from.

Before starting the today’s batch it was time to turn on the tank light in the kitchen and check the Famous Five haven’t become the Fractious Four. I was OK since all of them were obviously at table waiting for their first-and only course. Whatever they were dreaming of they got just multicoloured granules.Though since it’s supposed to be composed of everything they need, it may be exactly what they dreamt of. Of course I got a dirty look from Big Al who obviously didn’t approve of the service in this particular restaurant. I have the feeling that his brush with death is now forgotten and the new mellow Big Al has been replaced by his original irascible self. I may be wrong and my fingers are crossed that I am since I thought the two of us were getting on so well. I turned away to take my meds, made a cup of coffee and returned to start on Wednesday’s mail. That took me till 7.45 am ( without refreshing) when I returned to the kitchen to put the washing machine on.

small gods clock

I came back to get dressed ready to make a trip to Pauline’s about 9.30 am for some bread. I made a start on today’s mail until just before 9.30 am then put my shoes on, grabbed my bag and my sticks and took a slow walk. I got my TV mag., my fresh bread, a small micro meal and some cigarettes being very disappointed when my brand wasn’t in and when the ten packet I buy for Matt was only a small size. I came home, unpacked the shopping, set the washing machine to dry the clothes and then came back to work. By some miracle I was up to date by 11.00 am and decided I had time for a nap before lunch. I managed about half an hour or so then decided to prepare my lunch which today was a lamb hock with some colcannon potatoes. I was half watching a programme about fake goods that come into the country and the vast amount the crooks earn from it. I’ve obviously been in the wrong job. Bargain Hunt came on while I was eating so I stayed till the end. After I’d washed the pots I fully intended to go straight back to work but I found myself mysteriously gravitating towards my chair for the other half hour of my power nap. My calculations were a little off as I had three quarters of an hour instead.

I was on my way back to work when my phone went and it was my pal Lis texting to see  if she could call in. Since it’s always a pleasure to entertain a pretty lady I jumped at the chance though it didn’t give me very long on the computer before she arrived. I made her a coffee, passed along her invitation to Reuben’s dedication and we chatted about her daughter-my friend Charlie’s- attempt to buy a house down in South Wales. Things seem to be going well. Lis has a lovely family and sees her grandchildren most days so there are always tales top swap. When she left to go and collect the eldest from school I came back to work. I had until 5.00 pm to try and make an impression on the mail and it was tough going but I didn’t leave too many. I had a yoghurt for my tea and then prepared the mugs which was just as well as at 5.20 pm I saw Dil and Matt walk past the window. I started making drinks. Lee was a no show tonight. After the usual quiz show Dil got the games table out and we started playing Yahtzee. It wasn’t Matt’s night as Dil won 3 of the 6 and I won the others. No clear winner there then. Not that I do usually stand a chance at that so tonight was an improvement. Instead of going onto cards next Matt suggested Balderdash. I was grateful Dil brought the original game to the table. I had a great start but a lousy finish as Matt romped home past me. In the second game I also had a great start but went downhill when Dil pipped me at the post. How on earth did my little brother and my nephew become such accomplished liars, and better at it than me?We still had a little time left so the cards came out for chase the lady. In the first hand Matt had the Queen of Spades in his hand and dumped it on me. I had it in my hand every deal after that but only managed to abandon it once. Three hands in and Dil hadn’t got a point against him. I felt obliged to remark on it and he suggested I was doing so to forge an alliance against him. So paranoid. Still, they do say just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean it isn’t true. We managed to catch him for a few points but we got the worst of it and Dil won. So for me a disastrous night. My heart is still breaking, or it would be if I had one.

They left about 9.30 pm as usual and I tidied up and washed the pots before coming through. A lot of post to catch up on again. This could be a late night. It’s now almost 11.30 pm so we’ll see how it goes from here.

I’m in a mellow mood again tonight.

Thursday.

It was a late one last night thanks to the backlog but I did clear much of it before admitting defeat. It just meant that having a read took me a bit beyond my usual 1.00 am mark. It was OK though as Somnos took pity on me, not too much in case I got used to it, but he did leave me here until 4.01 am this morning. At that time I felt a kick on my bladder like that from a sheep or goat perhaps which said “You need to go NOW.” It was fooling me though since the expected waterfall was a trickle. I came back quite disappointed and powered up the computer. When 6.45 am arrived I’d finished the last of the evenings mail and had already started today’s making quite a dent in it. It seemed a good time to go feed the Famous Five. Big and Little Al, Pepper and Bonzo the bronze cory came to eat straight away, very excited at the prospect of food. I couldn’t see Harold the Hoplo anywhere though and I was trying to rack my brain as to whether I’d seen him yesterday. I had to come through to check the blog to find out. Thinking he’d just not rolled out of bed yet I decided to take my meds.

As soon as the tablets were taken I went to make a coffee but the damn machine decided it needed cleaning the moment I’d broken open the pod. According to the book it takes about 20 mins to do the cycle. Let me say here and now that it can’t tell the time. I was still there 35 mins later waiting for the end. I put the kettle on and made myself n instant coffee. In the meantime, I kept going to the tank to check on Harold. Carefully scanning the tank my heart sank. I could see another body wedged behind the bubble curtain. I got the net out and used it to push he airtube until the body was free to float up. Naturally it was in a bad way and very nibbled so I’d no idea what it was but it could only be Harold surely. I was beginning to think my friend Laurie was right about there being a serial killer in the tank. I didn’t want to wait for ‘last man standing’ to see who it was. Anyhoo, I managed to catch the remains in my net and a couple of the ‘attack of the killer snails’ too, that’s only with reference to their size. I confess I was really sad as I deposited the remains in a plastic bag which I then put in the bin. I turned round and said good morning to Harold who’d just come out to eat. Wha????? Realisation kicked in that the remains must be from one of the recent deaths that hadn’t been seen before now. I was and am so grateful.

By now the coffee machine had finished it’s cycle so I flushed it out four times as they suggest, took the cleaning disc out and refilled the tank. I may have another coffee later and use up the pod I pierced. Greatly relieved I took what was left of my coffee and headed for my room. I stopped on the way for the magic waterfall. The mail had grown a bit while I’d been out of the room because you people are just addicted to writing aren’t you. Anything just to get the written word down in front of you so I can hear all about your new books. There should be an AAA for you all to attend, Addicted Authors Anonymous. I restarted work and carried on until 9.30 am when I went to the Post Office to send off a card and to Pauline’s for my proper ciggies, the lottery and a special birthday card for next week. On my return I started work again. I must have been daydreaming too as I caught myself wondering about Mike. I’d forgotten to ask him what time he’s flying today so he could have been on his way at that point. Poor Canada won’t know what’s hit it. I wonder if his long suffering sister and his brother in law have any problems getting him up when he’s on holiday. Mention of a casino might get him moving though. By 10.30 am I was tired. I was up to date but even so I knew a trip to the lounge to spread some Z’s about was a mistake. I slept till about 11.30 am then decided to prepare my lunch after waiting 15 minutes for the foodie-tablet to work. I was sitting down t eat just after Judge Judy finished her last case and was ready for Jessica Fletcher to solve a murder case from her sick bed. That kept me going until 1.00 pm. I washed the pots and went through.

It was at this point it occurred to me that I’d been missing for two and a half hours. I found out how bad a mistake when I booted up again. Still, I didn’t need to move again until about 5.00 pm. I only just made it. The afternoon held many entertainments for me on peoples blogs and there were quite a few new books to tweet too. But at 5.00 pm I made myself some tea and then entertained myself some more with a couple of quiz shows. I didn’t want to be away from the computer screen for too long this time as I had plans to depart again at 8.00 pm. Firstly it’s the reburial of King Richard 111 or Richard of York or Richard Crookback. He who was found buried underneath a car park in 2014 having fallen in battle in 1509 against Henry Tudor. Shakespeare vilified Richard and ensured the stories of him having murdered his two nephews in the Tower of London. However, tests on the bones have shown that Richard was not in fact a hunchback and it seems some papers have been uncovered which show he was well liked in Yorkshire and perhaps not the monster he was portrayed. Of course Shakespeare writing in the Tudor years could hardly picture Richard a Saint.                           Then it’s a new episode of the Big Bang Theory (YAY), followed by an episode of another U.S. comedy I enjoy. I’d be due to return here smiling after that lot.                            I only saw the first half of the programme on the reburial which was a shame but it was quite touching bringing  together descendants of the Yorkist line to share the ceremony. I’m sure the monks who took him and buried him did what they could but now he’s within the confines of a Cathedral in a tomb where he can be recognised as a Monarch of England.

The Big Bang Theory just gets better and better. The writers are hot, hot, hot and the stars of the show are unbeatable. The funny thing is (for those of you who don’t know) is that Sheldon’s girlfriend Amy who plays a scientist in the show is a real life scientist and probably has no problems at all with some of the scientific terms Sheldon and Leonard’s actors have had to learn sometimes. The new show I’m sort of hooked on is called something like Precinct 99 and is a very funny show, again carried so well by some of the actors. To my mind far better comedies than some I see come out of the States and much better than most things we produce these days. At 9.30 pm I took my evening meds and came back through. A fair bit more mail to wade through but I don’t think it’s all bad. I broke off at 10.30 pm to do this and it’s mow 11.40 pm so I think I’ll go straight to bed.

Friday.

Woo Hoo. Somnos must have appreciated my efforts this week. I got to bed early last night by refusing to go back and answer more mail after doing the blog. I was in bed by 11.45 pm and my light was off at 12.30 am. I didn’t get up this morning until 5.01 am, a whole hour more than yesterday plus at least half an hour at the beginning. That’s over 4 hours and my best for a while. I thought the only drawback would be the amount of mail carried over undone from last night and the delayed start this morning. But no, there were no more brought forward than usual and even the morning post to that point didn’t look heavy. I only worked until 6.05 am before going to the kitchen and turning the tank light on.Today the Fantastic Four came up to eat without the fifth member but after yesterday I wasn’t falling for it.If he preferred to eat alone so be it. I dropped a few granules in for them all. The rules say no more than they can eat in a couple of minutes. It’s like watching hoovers at work as this lot get to grips with it. They were so intent upon eating that Big Al even forgot to snarl at me.

I left them to concentrate on taking my meds, which I did leaving the container empty. ( We won’t go into the tablets in Tuesday night’s box OK- I binned them). Once I’d done I went to get my meds drawer and did a complete refill of the container for another week. That doesn’t include he foodie tabs which are taken twice a day with meals so not a set time like the others.Those I keep to one side in the hope I remember to take some out if I’m eating somewhere. Of course that won’t be happening for three weeks now while Mike is in Canada. When I’d finished it was approaching 7.30 am so I made my coffee. I had another glance in the tank and saw Harold looking for his breakfast so I dropped a few more granules in and hope he finds them. As in life, some fish seem a little thicker than others. I took my coffee back to my room an started work again. I got dressed at some break in the work but had no intention of going out this morning. My warden came to visit on her last day and we sat down for a chat. I have felt fairly relaxed with her. She was telling me it’s her grandson’s 4th birthday today and lst week they had a little party at a petting zoo. I remember when I went to a petting zoo and the women slapped my face.(I didn’t honestly). After she’d gone I went back and did another half hour of work until midday and then went to the kitchen to do lunch. Steak in ale gravy with mashed potatoes today.

After Murder She Wrote I returned to work but by 2.05 pm was up to date again and retired to my chair in the lounge to have a power nap. Unfortunately I was caught up in Judge Rinder, the UK equivalent of Judge Judy and sleep stayed away. Yet again I had to return to work at 3.00 pm. There was a sound at the door and I saw a post van departing so I checked the outside cupboards. Nothing. I found two pieces of junk mail in the letter box though and yet the postman had come this morning. I can’ believe they sent a van out especially to deliver two pieces of unwanted junk. Yet again I managed to get up to date and this time I was yawning so returned to the lounge at 4.15 pm. Big Mistake. There was an antique programme on TV followed by a quiz I enjoy. I couldn’t quite drop off. A few minor flutters of the eyelids like butterflies in a breeze but the beggers wouldn’t stay shut. Giving up my other quiz at 6.00 pm I came back through to my room. I DON’T UNDERSTAND, Have you all taken a writing sabbatical? Where are the sacks full of mail I usually get. Is nobody writing to me anymore or has wordpress devised some devilish scheme to drop it all on me at once? Whatever it is, understand this. Me scared, me no like. It only took me till 6.50 pm and I was up to date again. I decided to desert you all and go back to the TV till about 9.00 pm. I laughed ha ha in the face of danger. Here’s hoping I shan’t be laughing on the other side of my face later. I actually ended up watching one of those feel good factor comedy films that I didn’t expect to enjoy- but did..

I took my meds and retired to my room. I didn’t feel up to having a shower so went straight back to work. I was gobsmacked.Normally two hours away from the screen has me in panic mode at a minimum of 30 messages an hour. Two hours tonight and not even 30 waiting. I read a terrible report about the British economy. Not a great surprise as I’ve said for years we’re bankrupt monetarily as well as morally. It seems there will be a new raft of stealth taxes and not so stealthy ones all hitting Middle England. It wouldn’t do to inconvenience millionaires or big tax dodging corporations. I understood a few years ago that if one major coffee house had paid taxes in the UK on money earned here, there would have been more than the amount the Government are trying to screw out of the disabled benefits programme now. There was also a nice request to connect on LinkedIn as well as some cheery posts from my friends. By 10.20 pm I found myself in the enviable position of being up to date again. After doing a quick, slow waltz round the room I decided to start the blog. I could just feel an early night coming on. 11.15 pm with luck. I need all my strength for tomorrow  since I learned the elemental known as Yvonne has taken the day off to take me shopping…despite protestations.  Early in the week she said Ugo and Reuben would take me but I knew I could get out of that. Now I’ve no chance. I have to hope she’ll accept I only want to go local as I don’t need much and speed is good.She can do her own shopping at the supermarket she likes on the way home. Maybe poor Ugo will be able to sit in the coffee shop while she does. At least the Force will be with him and not me. I love my daughter more than my life but like all women she scares me half to death, especially when she can see my shopping list. Chocolate, chocolate, beans, chocolate.

Saturday.

I didn’t quite manage my 11.15 pm as hoped but I was there by 11.30 pm which was something to cheer about. My light was out by 12.30 am after a read. There were a couple of false starts during the night notably at 1.25 am ( No Way) and at 3.05 am but I still felt there was more to come and managed to stay until 4.38 am finally. I was really pleased. I got up, made Niagara fall ( in a drought) and them came back to power up and sign in. Yesterday’s surprise is there today when I noted how few ( 18) messages had come from yesterday and again surprisingly only 42 emails from today. Having said that, I hadn’t yet refreshed from 4.42 am when I signed in.But at least by 7.00 am I was clear and able to go see to the fish. Big Al and Pepper had a race to see who could reach the front first this morning when I turned the light s on. They swam in place with their tales going like the clappers trying to stay positioned underneath the trapdoor while the current tried to push them away. I talked to them as I started to pour some food into my hand but Big Al’s look said “Just get on with it. Less chat , more action.” As I started to put the food in Little Al came over with Bonzo not far behind. Yet again Harold was conspicuous by his absence but after the last few days I’ve decided not to worry when I can’t see him. Chances are he’s still in bed and if not, there isn’t much I can do about it.

I left them to their feasting and went to take my meds.As I picked up the first spray I heard my phone beep in the lounge. It really annoys me. It was on charge all Thursday night and I didn’t use it yesterday and yet it still runs out of charge. Now I don’t know if it will be sufficiently charged when I go out.. Back to the meds, I finished and made myself a coffee using the remains of the milk in  my mug as usual. I took the food waste bag out to it’s little bin and placed both bins at the end of my pathway. I brought the other recycling bags out but had to tuck them at the side of the house because there’s a vicious wind out this morning. Before starting back to work I washed and dressed in case I lose track of time. They’re supposed to be here about 9.30 am but I know of old Ugo works on African time on his days off. As long as he’s up and at football by the afternoon he’s fine. Actually not quite true as he looks after Reuben while Yvonne works so he has to be up, but he generally doesn’t have to move much. Anyway, I started back to work.

It was about 8.00 am as I was sitting here minding my own beeswax that I heard a clunking sound followed by a slithering sound. It was a fair bet that no giant pythons had escaped so I went to the front window to have a look. Disaster ! My large bin had been toppled on it’s side as had the food bin. Not a major problem as the contents were in bags but the slithering was my waste paper bag which was happily spinning around in the wind depositing it’s contents everywhere. Naturally sod’s law says this week there are many small pieces of paper ( answers from Balderdash) all over the place. I started collecting them again. It didn’t take long before I was out of puff and feeling the strain from kneeling/bending. Then good old Bert from next door came out and started helping. We picked up plastic bottles too that had escaped from their bag. Between the two of us we soon had everything back in place. I had to move the bins back down the path hopefully away from the worst of the wind and I had to stand the dustbin on top of the recycling bags. Bert has apparently left his closer to is house than usual too. The big question is will thy be collected with not being in  their usual place? Will the collection team realise why the bags are not actually out if the wind has dropped by then? At which point they could turn all ‘Jobsworth’ on us. “Oh no, it’s more than my jobs worth to come down your path to collect rubbish.” Maybe I’d be back before that happened but at that point I got a message from Yvonne to say I was not shopping locally, I was going to the big supermarket with them. This could be a battle of wills worth seeing.

They arrived at 9.40 am, just as I’d normally have finished shopping and as I approached the car I could hear the throaty croak of Pops, Pops as Reuben saw me. Poor soul thought he was getting out to be with me but instead I got in the car. “Right , where are we going?” was Ugo’s question. “Asda” said Yvonne brooking no refusals. We set off and soon arrived there, the car park was very busy but Yvonne knew enough to say “We’ll be OK.” I headed for the cash machine while Reuben followed on riding his bug bike ( or Bugger as he calls it) and with his Ma and Pa. Yvonne got a big trolley we could share. I was dubious but went along with it. On the way to the flowers we passed a stand with items reduced in the latest dale and looked at a new ironing board Yvonne needs. It was good but not quite big enough. She turned it down on the grounds they wouldn’t get it in the car anyway. I chose some flowers and Yvonne got two bunches of daffs for herself, or for Monday, I’m not sure. Monday is the two year anniversary of Ju leaving us. We had a wander with Reuben hot on my heels, literally. He was trying to make me dance by running at my toes. I hat to threaten him with my fist while telling him to get off my toes which had him in fits of laughter and trying again. Suddenly I cam across another ironing board. A Minky and very wide just as she wanted and reduced by half. Room in the car or not she decided we couldn’t afford not to. I gave her some money to pass o Ugo to buy it now and try and get it in the car before we had to go. He was away a long time. As he came back I was half expecting to hear I’d be walking. It was close. Yvonne and I wold both have to sit in the back while the ironing board occupied the place of honour next to the driver.

We carried on shopping. I was piling my stuff in the front of the basket and Yvonne the back. Only problem was the back part is very small so there was a lot of overspill. Eventually we’d done and headed for the tills. Then the goods had to be placed on the conveyor Yvonne’s first and mine second. I gave Ugo some bags and proceeded to set my bags out along the bottom of the trolley ready to put goods in. Ugo packed his stuff and paid and I waited my turn. As soon as the youngster on the till started sending stuff through Ugo decided to help me pack and pulled my bags out of the trolley.I find it easy to fill 3 bags and spread the weight than to fill one bag at a time so I had to get them back again. I really appreciated his help as he put things in the bags in the trolley for me. We didn’t have time to go to Flint for a coffee as Ugo was due at football this afternoon. We had a drink in MacDonalds where Mike and I usually go instead. Once done we headed for the car. Ugo insisted on packing the boot while Yvonne and I squeezed ourselves into the back seat one either side of Reuben. My accompaniment all the way home was a DVD of Thomas the Tank Engine. Until now I never knew Thomas was naughty. When we got back Yvonne helped me take the bags in so she could finally see the gift Tariq had given me on my birthday, the picture of Roobs and me. They had to go. I looked at my watch and it was 1.00 pm. I’m no idea it had got so late.

Once I’d unpacked and put the shopping away I took my pre-food ( I wrote pre-foot there but honestly it wasn’t while I still had hooves) tablet and buttered some bread. Corned beef hash was speaking to me. I think it was something along the lines of “Eat me or I’m out of date and food for worms.” But I can’t be sure. Finally I was able to come back to work and my worst fears were confirmed. Everyone was working weekends and more specifically, while I was out of the house. I’m very fortunate that now I was back things seem to have eased off. I was also lucky that I didn’t have any fakers, conmen or nut-jobs to delay me. The worst part was developing a rhythm and then realising I was starting to nod off.  The bathroom and a good splash of water in the face beckoned. By the time 5.30 arrived I felt OK about breaking off for a while. I went through to the lounge thinking I’d have a little tea soon and found next to my chair , the two post food tabs I should have taken at lunchtime. I put them on the arm of the chair so I wouldn’t miss them a second time. I’m (almost) ashamed to admit I settled for two doughnuts for my tea as I watched a celebrity edition of Pointless. At least I watched until an attack of the noddies took over and I didn’t wake until 7.20 pm. I came back to my room. It seemed a good time to try and have a shower before working so I prepared all my clothes and putting my dressing gown on took the clothes to the washer ready for Monday, put some clean lounge pants ( the ones with the Red Dragon of Wales) on a hook in the bathroom and turned the shower on to reach the correct temperature.  I put the emergency alarm round my neck then pulled it off again and put it on the windowsill in case it blew the system.  Then I had my shower. To an outsider looking in it would have seemed strange to see a body with it’s bum uppermost as I had to fold in order to wash my hair. That out of the way I was upright again for the rest of the ritual cleansing . Getting out of the shower I had to assume the position again to dry my hair so I might have looked very short under that towel. I came up puffing like old bellows and dried the rest of me. That takes a while given my girth. Too bad Mike hasn’t been around today with remarks about booking coach trips to go round me. I’ve missed going for my meal at the Ivy too.

Once dry I re-started work and by 10.00 pm was really doing quite well. Keeping pace as I was I broke off at 10.45 pm to see to the blog. I could take my time I hoped. So I did. My friend Suzanne Joshi  https://patriciaruthsusan.wordpress.com/ made a request for tonight. That I choose my favourite Welsh song to put on for you all.

    This is my National Anthem and still raises hairs on my neck.

I wish you all a week full of wonder and Hugs.

David 28.03 2015

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Weird spam or Still a Babe Magnet

Sunday. It’s 5 am and I know I slept but it can’t have been for long as I read until 1 am before I turned the light out. I’m not sure if Michael talking in his sleep disturbed me but he has a tendency to ask questions and yet he always denies it. One day I’m going to tape him as proof but as the tape machine is in his bedroom and I’m too lazy to go get it, I just stay where I am and answer him as best I can. I’m actually feeling quite chipper since turning the computer on as there have been quite a few responses to last night’s blog and some of them are even sensible-Well Done you lot. But the real reason for my chipperness are three totally unrelated emails which prove I’m still a hot property. I’ve still got that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’, I’m on fire man!  I mean, just look at the quality of this sample and this is just one of them lusting after me. Huh, I’ve still got it haven’t I? The thing is, I hope it’s not catching whatever it is because I have the idea if I really get down and dirty and respond, I’ll probably find it’s really a 25 st lorry driver with nothing better to do.I think maybe I’ll just forward it on to Michael.                                                                                                                                                                                                               You see, I spotted you online and could not help texting you. I’d like to get closer to you.Have a look at my profile with new crazy vids and let me know how you find me!Drop me a line http://mqatklg.cupidonlinespot.in/?eotfttl                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Speaking of whom, it was 9.45 before he showed any signs of life. Or to rephrase that, he was halfway down the first coffee at 10 am before he started to look human.As usual he denies talking in his sleep and tells me my snoring kept him awake. As if ! He asks what I’d like to do this morning as if there’s much morning left ! I’m a bit off colour and tell him I don’t mind and no decision is made as we go to our respective rooms to get dressed. In the end we drive out to one of those places full of discount shops selling last year’s stock at twice the price you’d pay for anything you wanted this year.It’s been a long time since either of us has been there and boy has it changed. It’s so big now, and building still going on, to have it’s own roads leading off to towns now. There’s a huge Christmas tree that people can go inside to have photographs taken and there are lots of little Christmas shops setup around the edges of the car parks. Being the big spender I am I purchase a book for £1.99 before we go to lunch. Half an hour is spent deciding where until we settle on a Harry Ramsden’s, probably the biggest name in Fish and Chips in the UK. Just about passable today so I think the Christmas crowds are getting to them. After eating we head back to the car and head home where Michael pops his bags in the car and heads off to his father’s and I find myself nodding off over the computer. I spend the rest of the afternoon on emails then go through to watch an episode of Morse followed by one of Lewis. Hard to believe I’m still such a Babe Magnet eh ?

Monday. Apart from the obvious joys of reading my mail ( no naughty ones today), and reading the blogs of my friends ( yes, I mean you) today has been pretty boring. I made one ten minute foray into the cold and damp to get some bread and that’s it. I’ve been able to watch the TV programmes I enjoy and since there’s no-one here to stop me I had a chip buttie at lunchtime, oh what a renegade eh? Bed at 11.30 pm where I managed to finish the Conn Iggulden book my Sister in Law loaned me. I’m lucky that she has a taste for historical novels and a good selection to hand. Light off about 1. am

Tuesday. Light on again about 4.10 am Not that I was happy about it but I was wide awake again. Still, it gave me chance to get up to date with my mail before going out and tweeting an interview I did yesterday. This wasn’t an interview that made me happy as most do since for the first time ever I was interviewing the character from a book and to put it mildly he’s a nasty piece of work. Also, not being a character of mine where I know enough to select questions, this time I had nothing to go on and I didn’t fancy getting on his wrong side. Judging by the lack of comments I think a few of you must have felt the same way.                                                                                                      At 7.50 am I was washed, dressed and had partaken of my first coffee. I nipped for a final wee before going to the bus stop. As I depressed the plunger on the soap dispenser ( all the mod cons here you know) the bloody soap shot out at the speed of light in a straight line and landed on the crotch area of my trousers. I couldn’t walk round with a green blob so it was time to strip off and find another pair to wear. It’s been years since I moved so fast. Probably the last time I ran out of cigarettes and texted Ju to bring me a new packet on her way home from riding. I saw her coming and was at the front door before she was. Anyway, new trousers on I had to dash as the bus was due at ten past the hour. Ploughing my way through the horde of waiting schoolchildren I made it. I had to sit at the back today, leaning slightly forward because of the backpack I was wearing I donned the headphones to my MP3 player and prepared to try and ignore the world. My nutter magnet must have been on and lo and behold on the seat opposite me appeared a young man who sat cross-legged and tried to engage me in conversation. I plead ignorance as I pretended to close my eyes and sway with the music like a demented cobra. It didn’t work as proved by the tap on my knee. I tried to look surprised and removed the headphones only for him to tell me I had egg on my chin. I started to rub until the light bulb finally clicked and I realised two things. 1. I haven’t eaten an egg, and 2 It’s a euphemism for My flies are undone. Not wishing to be seen to be fiddling with that area of my anatomy with someone facing me, I thanked him and proceeded to pull my coat a little lower until there was no audience. I suppose I was safe really in the knowledge that dead birds don’t fall out of the nest but why take chances. Three or four stops later I was able to adjust myself before upsetting the good women of Chester and finding myself in the stocks.                                                                                                                                                                                Yvonne and I had a great day shopping with Reuben. Not that you could see him of course since he was hidden by parcels most of the time. There were many compliments throughout the day about the pram but I wonder if people just thought it was a de-luxe shopping trolley. When we stopped for lunch or coffee and uncovered him, Reuben’s fan club gathered round as usual. We went back to Yvonne’s where Ugo would pick me up after work to run me home. It was quite dark but I still had to make a dash for the car as I’m sure they’ve never repealed the law against Welshmen being in Chester after nightfall. At home I worked from 7.00 pm until 8.55 pm on mail (122) from during the day before watching the exciting new episode ( No 5) of The Mentalist, and then back to it. For some reason Google isn’t opening all my WordPress mail again. Bed around midnight. Judging by my waistline, I just missed the full transformation to pumpkin.

Wednesday. The Emails this morning were in the main predictable. Two different psychics know my future yet it doesn’t appear to be the same one. One of them could help me with the winning lottery numbers which begs the question why doesn’t she use them so she can stop asking people like me for money we haven’t got? I keep offering to pay after the win has been confirmed, or at least send a postcard from some Island paradise. A message that did catch my eye though was from a friend asking whether I’d received a letter from Google about being book partners. Short answer No, and I don’t know what it’s about. Now many of you may be au fait with this but for those that aren’t, you can add your books to a Google database and they will advertise them free of charge Worldwide with links to your site if the books can be bought there. I thought this sounded interesting and went to place my first book on there with it’s picture of the cover. From that point on I began to feel like a five year old just starting school. I’m not thick ( shut up you at the back) but I just could not get my head round things like sharing sections of the book and getting other books on. It just defeated me completely. If you want the dictionary definition of technophobe- it’s ME !                                                                                                                                                                          Just gone 9.00am I went to the Post Office to send my abroad Christmas cards. It might seem early but I son’t trust the Postal Service very much. Anyway, it was meant to be a quick trip in case I was due any mail but once there I found myself the only person in the queue. The Postmistress who is also a local Councillor ( and a good one) has just got back from holiday and naturally I asked how it had gone. She had a fantastic time but told me how desperately poor Cuba and it’s people are. I also got to see pictures of the cars there which are amazing 1950’s models cherished, cleaned and repaired within an inch of their life. I know it wouldn’t do the manufacturers much good but I couldn’t help but think how nice it would be if we held onto and looked after our things as well as they do.                                                                                                                Dilwyn and Matthew came for games night (snigger). We had two games of Scrabble and I won both this week. Then Dil and I taught Matthew how to play a card game we’ve played since Adam was a lad. Most people will know it but perhaps not under the name we use which is Crazy 8’S or Friendly Enemies. Yes, I won that one too so my humiliation of two weeks ago is hereby forgotten ( or else). Maybe next week we’ll teach him Chase The Lady or Deadly Enemies which many of you will know as Hearts on the computer. If so, the insults will fly thick and fast.

Thursday. Post done and a trip to the paper shop for my lottery ticket ( I’m assured it’s the winning one but please carry on buying them to increase my prize. I’ll buy teas all round). At just after ten Mujo arrived and I saw to drinks as we chatted about our week since I last saw them. I learned I have a niece who’s a stalker and follows them round shops tapping them on the shoulder. She tells them she knows just how to make me behave at Christmas. I know too, she just has to tell me and I’m scared enough to do it. Just like Yvonne she has me running scared even though I love them both expensively  dearly. At 11.45 we head out as I have a retinopathy appointment at 12.05. I told them to drop me off and go for lunch but they wouldn’t hear of it. Forty minutes later I’ll bet they regretted that though John did tell me he’d eaten a pasty so he could take his pre- lunch tablets. We went to the Chippie ( my third chip meal of the week so far) where he still ate a full lunch and half Muriel’s chips. Somehow when he gets his Christmas present I have doubts about it fitting now.                                                                                                                                                                                                             After lunch we decided to go to Abakhan, a fabric mill with craft areas which opened a new cafe and gift shop today. They’ d received a 20% off voucher for anything they bought today. When we got there, everything was 20% off anyway. The new gift shop had been opened in the same building as the cafe. The goods were really nice but I was disappointed that it was same stock- different place and the prices were still very high. We bought nothing which for me must be a first. The cafe building is very nice and has some nice seating areas. I have no idea what the food is like but it would be fair to say I hope it better than it was in the old building. MuJo had cold drinks but being thirsty I asked for tea. There were some very tiny pots which Mu said must be small water jugs, but no they were teapots to fill thimbles. We had to look for teabags and then get hot water from a machine. To be absolutely fair, it was the nicest cuppa I’ve had in ages and to top it off a member of staff brought round mince pies to apologise for anyone having had to wait in the queue. Lovely gesture. After tea we had a quick look in the fabric section and the craft section I spent so many hours in with Ju. We headed home where I entered a competition for John on the computer before they went to visit his mother. I’d left myself little notes everywhere today so I remembered to watch my new episode of The Big Bang Theory before coming through to catch up on the last of my messages. Now it’s time for bed and another taste of Pratchett with Snuff. I’m enjoying the re-reads.

Friday. I awoke this morning to lost of post about Black Friday. Far from the disaster it sounds there were actually plenty of interesting and tempting deals. Of course you all know me so you can be sure my wallet didn’t get opened, my card did not get posted anywhere and I sat here perfectly calm, without twitching once, safe in the knowledge I don’t like shopping- as if !! I took a walk to the Post Office to buy my Christmas stamps, yes, I know I should have done it yesterday but I forgot, it’s an age thing. For lunch I had a cottage pie and I’m not sure the cottage had been demolished properly in parts, there’s every chance I was chewing on the chimney at one point I’m really going to have to learn the difference between minutes and seconds on the microwave.                                                                                                                                                          A few more messages dealt with in the afternoon, the women have stopped being coy now and are threatening to visit, I’m having maps mimeographed as soon as possible. I settled in front of the TV for a snooze when Mike and Rose arrived. No chance now, the peace is broken and Mike’s no better. I asked him id he’d driven legally and he replied that any answer might incriminate him .We watched an episode of The Mentalist and relaxed. Teatime came and Rose decided on some rice pudding while Mike and I, diet conscious as ever settle on bacon rolls. Mike washed my hair and I had a shower and changed into my dressing gown. The evening passed in gentle insults until it was suddenly 11.00pm and time for my last assault on any messages. I wished them both good night and came through.                                                                                       I’d not been here but a few minutes when I realised something wasn’t right. I didn’t feel at all well. Mike popped in and suggested I felt cold when I actually felt hot, no, change that to cold. He went back to his TV. Within moments the race was on and I just made it to the loo in time for a technicolour yawn , and, more, and more, and yet more. I was not on top form kneeling down and waiting for the floor to steady. Mike came in behind me and soothed my fevered brow, by which I mean he ran a flannel under the cold tap and slapped it dripping on my neck. Moments later the miracle cure I was back on my feet. Granted it was because I was trying to clout him with the back brush but at least it was from the right angle now. I did feel better and ‘My elder’ packed me off to bed while he cleaned up behind me. Ah, I’m sure few are the people who would do that for me. Thanks Brother of another Mother. Throughout my ordeal Rose had slept oblivious to the battlefield horrors around her.

Saturday. I was up at 5.00am ready to do battle with the remnants of last night’s mail and anything from early this morning. There was apparently no rush as Mike decided to totally ignore his 7.00 am alarm. I would have offered some assistance had Rose not been sleeping peacefully next to him. I didn’t want her to get wet too. By 7.30 they’d both risen and while they had their drinks I put the bins out. By 8.15 Mike and I were on our way. I’d heard one Supermarket was doing selection boxes at BOGTF ( Buy One Get Two Free) and as I needed selection boxes for Christmas, that’s where we headed. I paid for two and left with six which was a great bargain.We finished the Supermarket and I decided against breakfast so we headed for home to collect Rose. Mike wondered if there was anywhere we hadn’t been for a while and I suggested a little place in Cheshire. I know it’s over the border but thought I’d take a chance, maybe the reward posters had gone now. As it happened he’d never heard of it before and Rose hasn’t visited this part of the country previously anyway. It’s really not very far and we were there in less than an hour. The place is called Blakemere for anyone interested ( near Northwich). I don’t suggest my American friends should visit as you’d never make it in a day. It’s like a wonderful little village just where you wouldn’t expect it. Antique shops, various craft shops, a specialist ice cream shop, sweet shop, gift shop, wedding products, housewares and a Falconry Centre too. We had a whale of a time going round the wonderful shops as well as having lunch in one cafe and afternoon tea in another. We came away quite weary and it was getting quite dark. They made me leave even though I hadn’t seem Santa.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  At home there were exactly 100 messages to deal with which I managed in record time. My neighbour brought a parcel he’d taken in for me which are some great slippers I was expecting. We had a light tea and settled to watch Foyle’s War for 2 hours before it was time to come through and start the blog. It’s now five to midnight and I’m ready to call it a day. I can’t as it’s a night really ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..antiques21

SNOOZE-YOU-LOSE

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I wish you all a happy end to Movember and a brilliant start to December. Hugs all round.xxxxxx

canal 3 smileMonkey 5 happy

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