Tag Archives: Rosie

The Benin Barrister & Those Trousers Can Blind a Racehorse

Sunday. After such a late night I didn’t get up until 5.00 am  After turning on the computer and saw how many emails were there from yesterday as well as this morning, I regretted moving. Just as well the Eisteddfod is just once a year. There were hundreds and it took a long time to sort the wheat from the chaff. By the time I’d made any headway it was 8.00 am and I hadn’t fed the fish. My albino cory was not amused and started dashing round the tank as though being chased by the devil or a large shark maybe.

albino coryYou can almost see the look of disapproval yet he’s only about 2 inches long. Sometimes I get a very dismissive flick of the whiskers. He can be almost as stern as Michael who was a bit dischuffed when he found out whose face was on the cat last night. He issued a very stern warning.

Mike on the Throne

“Don’t do it again” he said. No way was I entering into a My swords bigger than your sword argument because I know how his mind works and anyway he’d probably threaten to produce references from all his paramours so I’d be reading for a week. I’ve known men brag about a different woman for every day of the week, but never before one who adds, 52 weeks of the year. Anyway, stop diverting me, let me get on with the tale. I left the fish feeding and took my meds as I made myself a coffee and prepared a mug for when Mike got up. He’d already warned me he’s have to leave early today as he’s going out for a meal with his Dad his two sisters and his brother in law. I went back to work.

At 9.00 am I heard Mike’s alarm go off so I went and made him a drink and took it through. As usual he’d ignored the alarm and turned over so I made sure he knew the coffee was there. I carried on working. Two more rings of the alarm brings us to 9.30 am and I heard movement. I was practically up to date so I went through to join him. He has the nerve to tell me he’s hardly slept even though he appeared to be well away wen I went to the loo at 1.00 am and again at 5.00 am when I got up. He asked what I wanted to do this morning and when I said I thought he’s have breakfast and leave he answered he was OK for a while yet. In the end we settled on a trip to Flint to check out the Argos sale and to pick up some more chocolates. That was about 10.45 am and we didn’t leave Flint until 11.45 am when we headed straight for The Ivy where we had something to eat and a coffee each. Things were looking a bit more hopeful for Tariq and his family with passports though it’s ridiculous that he has to travel to Peterborough to get the ones they’ve found and he’s going to threaten to stay in the office until they find the others. I have everything crossed I possibly can for them. Mike liked a picture and asked the price. “They’re nothing today” said Tariq. We knew getting a straight answer would be hard. “How about £5,  that’s about what it cost me to make. Which one do you want”  “I’m not telling you unless I get a sensible answer”said Mike. It went on a while until I said ” How about £10, I’ll get him to say which one he wants if you’ll accept £10.” Even though it was still not the true price he agreed and I handed over £10 and made him put it away before Mike told him. Then the picture Mike wanted was so much bigger and would have been much more than £10 Tariq would brook no arguments. At least when we left today I had no arguments about the price of the meal. The big crisis facing Mike and I is that next Saturday the place is closed as Angie is at a wedding.

Mike dropped me at home at 1.30 pm and shot straight off to Manchester leaving me to face the music of all the waiting mail again. Naturally there was a fair bit and it kept me occupied until almost 5.00 pm.I had a sandwich and then  forced myself to eat what was left of the BFG after Mike had been there last night while I was out as I didn’t want to to go off in the heat. The effort I have to go to sometimes. I watched a bit of a film but couldn’t get into it properly partly I think because I’m not much of an Adam Sandler fan.This was better than some I’d seen though. It wasn’t long before I came back to the bedroom and started on messages again along with blog comments and tweets galore. Some of the comments in answer to the great remarks I had on my post from last night. I wish you lot would stop being funny though, you put me to shame. Ah well. Time to finish the last messages of the day and head for my pit. I wish you all a great week.

Piggy Back riding

Piggy Back riding

Nursery 3

 

 

 

 

 

with Uncle Mike

with Uncle Mike

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Monday. It was a 3.05 morning and I’m convinced I should still be in bed and the first sign of nodding, that’s where I’m going. Did I nod? No way. I still hadn’t finished the mail at 7.00 am when I went through to the fish. I think they must all have had an argument as they were in three of the four corners of the tank, with one stuck to the filter in the fourth corner. The smallest one, the fan tailed guppy was swimming quite happily up top waiting for the food trapdoor to open. He was claiming First Dibs. I saw to my drugs and had a piece of toast before taking my coffee back through to the bedroom. The post seems to be never ending today, I wonder if I dare thin out the number of blogs I follow in order to have a life. I’d just about finished at 8.50 am which gave me chance to wash and dress in order to go to the post office. I wanted to post a large, nay Ginormous letter to a friend. I was holding it between my fingers which were wrapped around the handle of my crutch and yet it was almost dragging on the ground. I just hope she’s got a big letterbox.

Back home I put some washing on and then came back to the mail. There was one from delivery firm Hermes who annoy the heck out of me. You have a tracking number and get through to their system which follows the time they received it, when they logged it etc, etc and then you come to one that says Out for Delivery. To me, the customer, that means Great, a courier has it on his van and will deliver today. Accordingly I’ve been in all day. What it actually means is that it’s out for delivery to a courier and even though he may have received it, he hasn’t logged it with himself yet. So tomorrow when I’ve arranged to be out it will probably come. Then because you’re not in you stand the chance of them taking it back again. They need to make their site much clearer and also include telephone numbers . This is the slide I ordered last week for Reuben. I’ll have to leave a note on the door asking them to leave it with a neighbour. I carried on answering mail until I heard the washing machine stop then went and set the drier. I told it a lie and said it was a load of shirts when actually there was a towel in there too. I wonder if it can tell?

At lunchtime I had a cottage pie and an episode of my Antiques programme.  At 1.00 pm I thought forty winks were in order so settled down. RATS, the front door. Someone wanting to check a master key on my door in case of emergencies. I tried again and the blasted window cleaner arrived. OK, so no afternoon nap is on the cards today. I might as well work. There are some truly amazing bloggers out there who write purely to inspire and lift others. It’s truly nice to know there are such selfless people around. There are some very informative bloggers who ensure we miss nothing from the world around us be it from a conflict somewhere or a new species of bird found . I’m mostly grateful for the time and effort they expend on the rest of us. There is kindness in the World, and maybe like my friend Rosie’s good example of a good deed a day it will inspire me to be a nicer person.

At 4.30 I packed up intending to have a break so I could have a piece of lemon meringue pie and to watch a couple of quizzes on TV. The first was easy, the second I managed to miss by getting caught up in something else. Then, I managed to nod off and missed the first half of Law and Order. Fortunately it was a repeat anyway as was the next programme, a Murder She Wrote so I turned off and came back through. When I check the mail I see a message purporting to be from a barrister addressed to me by name via Facebook. I don’t usually open mail I don’t recognise but where it’s using my name I thought I better had- wondering who I’d pissed off enough to threaten to sue me this week.

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Even the crooks in Benin have got it in for me now. I remember getting a message from Facebook recently to say from now on messages sent to us there would not be stored but would be sent to our email addresses. That’s clever really since the email address this came to isn’t the one I registered with on Facebook. So, in an effort to miss any more of these things I’m going incognito, I hope I can rely on you not to tell.

india

 

Now I must go back to my emails to clear as many as possible before going out tomorrow. Night all, I hope my secret is safe in your hands.

In honour of my beloved Ju whose birthday it is tomorrow.

Tuesday. 3.25 am today. Plenty of work to do before going out. The only interruption was at 6.00 am when I did the fish early in case I was attacked and had to hide the wounds. Maybe they weren’t ready for me or perhaps just in a generous mood as I got away scot free. After taking my morning fix I got washed and dressed before taking my coffee through and carrying on with the post. By carrying on I don’t mean a full blown affair, more a dalliance in the stock room. I wasn’t taking it too seriously this morning. Eventually time came to leave the house. I’d donned my leather jacket as it had been raining and the forecast said cloudy and rain today.In fact I feel as though I was wearing a sauna suit it’s been so hot.

We met in the Costa where I already had an iced coffee in front of me because I wanted the points on my card as Tuesday is double points day at the moment. Yvonne had told me that Reuben was full of cold but said the fresh air might help or I’d have put them off. As today is Ju’s birthday I suspect we each wanted to stop the other brooding. I’d taken some Tanzanite earrings of Ju’s and a Wedgewood pendant of my mother’s for Yvonne so she put the earrings in straight away to be close to her mum. We had our drinks while Reuben slept in his pushchair. He’d had no sleep the night before she told me. When we left we took a trip along what are called ‘The Rows’ which are shops on balconies above the main shops of the main street.There are a number of jewellers and they’re very exclusive which translates as expensive.  There are also some unusual shops here. Then we went for another drink as Reuben awoke. I was able to have him on my lay while Yvonne got the drinks. He was very sneezy and obviously still tired but tried hard to be smiley for me.

We had a teddy bear made as we left the precinct and then we walked up the main street to Argos to see if some toys I wanted for Reuben were in. They were. By this time I was in need of a wee and we thought it best to get some lunch before carrying on the expedition. Marks and Spencer’s was our choice. Wow, they don’t even do beans with the baked potatoes and still charge a fortune for them but the loos were nice. Such a relief. There were still two or three shops to visit afterwards and I was successful at getting a couple of shirts and a waistcoat for Ugo in one. Unfortunately I lost he smugness game today when Yvonne bought me a waistcoat too. Poor old Reuben’s patience was starting to disappear like a rabbit down a hole and he was beginning to do ear piercing ( well ear-drum at least) exercises with his vocal chords. We thought it best to take him home.Yvonne insisted I went with them and we could resume our Tuesday teatime chip meal after Ugo had run us to my house. I agreed before she started ear piercing on me. Ugo left work but thanks to a mix up in marital communications headed for my house without us. He had to turn round to collect us. We got home. Ugo went to the chippy, I went to my neighbour’s to collect Reuben’s slide which had come and Yvonne was left minding the baby. We had tea, Reuben decorated my floor with most of his and after a tidy up they left.

I came through to see to my messages before they’d even shut the car doors. I confess to being in a panic, but in all fairness I was right, 203 times right. It’s taken all night to reach somewhere near caught up before getting to the blog so tonight no entertainment, no pictures.,just a hope your day has been good.

Wednesday. A dark and early start saw me getting on top of the emails this morning. When I broke off at 7.00 am I was almost there. After throwing a leg of lamb into the fish tank from a distance I took my morning meds and  had a piece of toast before taking my coffee through. When I got back some kind of world disaster must have happened because there were almost 100 more messages than when I left 20 minutes earlier. I wonder whether America knows it’s supposed to be in bed. I started again where I’d been at 3.30 am.

By 9.30 am I was back at the almost finished stage. The postman had been and still without my last missing package  from China. I’m begining to wonder if this is another one held by our Customs Service to screw extra money out of me. It’s funny though, that usually happens once a year to me but it’s never actually been on one from China so far. Once a year one from China usually doesn’t reach me and it’s always the one with multiple purchases for some reason. If it hasn’t arrived by Friday I have to open a case with ebay and get in touch with the seller. They’re usually excellent at refunding  but the annoying thing is I don’t want a refund, I want the goods. To do that I have to start with long delays again and hoping it gets to me. If I do that I risk going beyond the time where ebay will refund for non-delivery. I may have to accept a refund and then either order from them again or choose another supplier of similar items. Since I didn’t have to wait for the postman I decided to go out to Pauline’s for fresh bread and my TV mag.She was quite busy so I joined the queue and listened as she spoke to all her customers as friends. It’s nice.

Back home I was rattling through the rest of the mail when one for a sale at my Saturday Supermarket came up. Naturally since Mike and I have been keeping an eye on the sale in store when we go I found many items had sold out or weren’t available in my size ( obviously the most popular one) but I was lucky to find some jeans I know I like, some slippers I need since one toe is currently peeping through the top of my current pair and a dress shirt complete with bowtie which was reduced to £4. I expected to pay a lot for next day delivery but was amazed to find it was also just £4 even for the 6 items I ordered. Great value.

I knocked off at 11.00 am and went through to the lounge. I needed to think about what I wanted for lunch and I was tired. I nodded off for about half an hour. Before hand I’d decided on bangers with sweet potato mash but now I couldn’t be bothered and settled on a corned beef hash. Small and quick. It was OK and all I needed to wash was my fork. After lunch I was back and forth to the computer to try and keep the mail down as I’d miss 3 hours+ this evening but I couldn’t resist another siesta when the sun was really getting warm through the window. That must have lasted an hour or so from about 3.30 pm. It gave me such a conscience that I darted back  through and found loads waiting. I was concentrating so hard that when the door opened I thought Dil and Matt had arrived early. It was in fact 5.50pm. Work stops, play starts.

Once drinks were dealt with Dil got the Yahtzee out to play. We had 3 games. Matt won the first as he got a Yahtzee where both Dil and I crossed it out. I was the lowest in that game losing badly. The next game was mine as despite Matt getting another Yahtzee, I got TWO, and won easily. In the third game there was no quarter given and Matt won again after getting two Yahtzees. We reverted to cards next and went back to Nomination Whist which after having been on the ‘catch up’ most of the game I romped ahead when needed and won. Finally the crib boards came out and the Goddess of luck was smiling on me as she gave me both games as quite easy wins. It was time for Dil and Matt to go. Dil muttering under his breath about seeing me next week ( and it would be his turn to completely thrash us then).  I had a quick tidy up, washed the pots and went back to do battle with my email adversaries. It took me till gone midnight to do the blog and to clear the mail to within about a dozen which would have to wait till morning as some required longer answers. I’m knackered now and need a little read before sleep.

Thursday. 3.50 today so a slight improvement though having a late night last night didn’t help. Maybe I shouldn’t have celebrated my wind with extra mouthwashes. Having seen my inbox I’m glad of an early start at it since everyone whose side of the world is now heading for darkness has written to me while I slept. And anyway, the message I had from Asda said my delivery could be any time from 7 am. I doubt I’ll hold my breath though. At 6.30 am I sneaked into the kitchen and turned the light on inn the fish tank. I was hoping that half an hour early might catch them off guard. It didn’t, and one beady red eye was watching my every move. Because of that I moved very quickly. I took a pre-food tablet, had my sprays, swallowed the umpteen other tablets, had a cigarette to time things and then made myself a piece of toast. I was perhaps a little generous with the butter as the first time I tried to take a sip of my coffee, my moustache just slid across the front of the mug. I either had to wash off the excess or save it for sustenance later. I settled on a wash so I could drink my coffee.

I went back to the computer and was working steadily on emptying the mail box as the rest of the world tried to fill it again. At about 8.30 am I decided to get dressed thinking the time of delivery must be getting close now and I didn’t want to open the door in my dressing gown, not that I really have a door in my dressing gown of course. I worked on and on and on until finally at 11.00 am I could work no more. I went through to the lounge to evaluate the patterns on the inside of my eyelids for a short time. It was actually no more than about 15 mins before the phone rang.I decided to peel some sweet potatoes instead, ever the man of adventure me. A bit later I put my sausages under the grill and set my potatoes to boil. Soon enough I had the delights of bangers , sweet potato mash with peas and carrots before me. It was a feast. I washed the pots and settled down in my chair again when I heard a van arrive. Nope, it was the laundry service  visiting Joe with all his freshly pressed shirts. One of these days I’m going to empty my laundry basket, and I’ll give it to them to deal with. About ten minutes later the van from Yodel arrived and I knew it was for me. I signed for the parcel and tore at the wrapping as I got it to the lounge. First job, throw old slippers away and don new moccasin ones. I know the jeans are good because I’m wearing a pair and the jeans for Mike look OK too. The dress shirts are great, all I need now is an occasion. My new lounge pants are covered in Mr Men so I won’t be letting anyone see me in those unless it’s Reuben.

I worked most of the afternoon so there could be a TV break this evening. It was 5.45 pm when I knocked off. I managed to see my Law and Order and then turned over to see Jessica Fletcher solve another crime before the police did. I saw the first 5 minutes or so and then totally  zonked until the last 5 mins. I suppose I caught the important bits. So, at 8.00 pm it was back through here again and it’s now 10.47 pm and I still haven’t emptied the mail box. Time for one last marathon effort.

 

Contemplation

Contemplation

park2 use

 

Friday. Blah , Blah, Blah early morning. By 7.00 am I was almost abreast of the mail and went to see to the fish. Not a single one in sight.They must be OK as there are no bodies floating but they’re playing mind games with me now, they’re making me panic. I took my tabs and then started to refill the empty container. Thanks to those piscatorial pests I was putting night time ones in daytime slot and verce visa. A ten minute job took a long time…long enough for the 15-20 mins in which I was to eat had passed by. I quickly put some toast on to boil. I opened my mouth as wide as possible and ate as quickly as I could ( according to Mike I’d have got the lot in at once if I’d tried). I made my coffee and took the two after meal tablets . OK, I was up to date. With a last glance at the tank I picked up my coffee and returned to the computer.

Amongst the new set of messages was one from another firm telling me their sale starts tomorrow but as a valued customer I can buy today AND get an extra 10% off at the end. Since I mentioned on Tuesday that my sneaky daughter had bought me a waistcoat, she now informs me she bought the matching jacket. She’s going head to head in the smugness stakes now. But, I decided I’d better get a pair of trousers to wear with the new ensemble so I ordered a pair of brown trousers with a shine like a mirror. If I ever go to a racecourse I’ll blind the horses. ( just the ones I haven’t backed though). I also ordered a new pair of braces since I need something to fight gravity now my waistline has gone. There were a couple of other items in the sale so I went to the checkout and entered my code and paid. Dalmations, the discount hasn’t taken!!!!!!!!!  I’ve emailed them to see what went wrong.

A little later I dressed and went to Pauline’s to renew my lottery tickets. I picked up fresh baps and some milk while I was there just in case Mike is coming. I haven’t heard so far. At lunchtime I really couldn’t be bothered with a large meal so I made beans on toast which I haven’t had for ages. Time to hunker down for a nap now or at least as soon as the antiques programme is finished. It finished at 1.00 pm and I’d just stretched my legs out when my phone beeped. Naturally I’d left it in the bedroom. With an exasperated gasp I went to get it. There was the message I’d hoped for “On way”. I went and snored quite happily for an hour.

The mail had built up again in my absence but with Mike due about 4.00 pm I didn’t mind too much. I actually got up to date at 3.50 pm and was able to put the kettle on ready for the arrival which almost exactly on time. The ‘boy’ racer said the traffic had been bad. I settled him down with a drink and we both talked about how our week had been. We watched some quizzes calling out the answers to the screen to see who was fastest. His favourite quiz was missing though due to golf so I left him with Law and Order while I came to try and keep up to date again before my shower. Mike washed my hair in the adverts and I had a shower before changing into the new Mr Men lounge pants and a tee-shirt. NCIS was next on his menu and when a second episode came on I went to make him a meal of a lamb shank and some sweet potato mash, he said that was adequate veg. At 9.00 pm I came through for the night to keep the mail as up to date as possible and to get the blog on. I think it’s back to it again now because it’s an early start for shopping tomorrow. Can you hear the sarcastic laughter?

Saturday. I didn’t move my lazy ass today until 5.45 am. ( I bet you didn’t know I had a donkey did you?) I had only an hour answering the millions of comments from last night’s blog as well as other emails before it was time to feed the fish and prepare to make Mike his coffee. One fish allowed itself to be seen this morning but I swear he was just keeping cavey for the rest. By 7.00am I’d had my tablets and made a cup of coffee for myself. The lketttle was boiling awaiting the sound of the alarm from Mike’s room. By five past I’d heard nothing so I made the drink and took it through. My cheerful greeting was only tolerated without a well aimed show for two reasons. 1. It was his coffee I was holding. and 2 He just grunted but didn’t wake up. I took my coffee through and continued to tap away at the keyboard.

At about 7.20 I heard the sound of the loo being flushed and my intuition being what it is along with my deductive powers, I decided it was much more likely to be Mike than the fish. He was up and I hadn’t heard the alarm go off at all. I closed the screen down and went through to join him in the lounge. I was only able to join him bodily as his senses had yet again deserted him as he slept on the edge of the chair gradually leaning further forward until soon gravity would do it’s job and leave him splattered on my floor. I wouldn’t mind but he’d be a beggar to hoover. A quick (loud) cough and he woke up.We were out of the house with seconds to spare before 8.00 am.

The main shopping didn’t take too long but the delays I caused looking at children’s clothes did I’m afraid. My trolley was starting to look like Reuben’s lucky day. And of course I was expecting a delivery of clothes I’d bough for him online, today. We had a coffee after shopping while we decided the next move. I’d mentioned to Mike last night that I wouldn’t mind going to a certain shop with a sale that started today. He agreed and so we headed off there. Yet again Reuben was at the forefront of my mind and struck lucky. Mike also found a suit in a wonderful colour. I’m sure he’d have had a second one in another colour had the jacket been the right size. This wasn’t the branch of the shop I’d originally thought of and there was nowhere to eat close by so Mike suggested we visit the second branch where there are plenty of eateries. I had no problem agreeing since the word SALE is like a magnet to my poor addled brain.

We hit the other branch and came up with yet more things for Reuben though poor Mike was disappointed with his suit here as they had none of them. I did buy him a pair of shoes as compensation though were really nice.I got some braces and a couple of belts. We headed off for lunch and celebrated with a pudding today. The weather outside was awful with rain bouncing down ( or up) so we stayed in the cafe till it eased. Mike was proud that he got me out without me spending anything. We did however go to another shop before heading home and I was allowed to spend there in case my pockets healed up.

At home there was no sign of my recycling bags after the bin men had been. For all I knew they could have refused to bring them back in the lousy weather. We put the shopping away and I checked the door to see if there was a not from the delivery men to say they’d been. I was a little dejected to find nothing. Mike felt unwell and went to bed so I started to catch up with today’s 200+messages. It was about an hour in when I saw a message from one firm saying the goods were being delivered today. Checking the trace I found the package had been signed for. Yay, they’re next door with Bert. The weather was clearing nicely and the ground looked almost dry.I went out and actually met Bert who’d just seen his son off in the car. He told me where my recycling bags were and that he had two parcels for me. You’d have thought it was my birthday. Everything was fantastic and I think the trousers I’d ordered will go nicely colour-wise with the waistcoat and jacket from my bolshie daughter.

At 5.45 pm I’d all but  caught up and decided to have a break for a while. I turned to the TV for Who Do You Think You Are which takes celebrities on a journey into the history if their family. It can be quite fascinating. Mike came through so when it ended I turned over for the Grand Prix qualifiers and the news. Then we watched Lewis . We had sandwiches and a small cake in the intervals.  At 9.00 pm I deserted Mike and came through for the next battle in the message war. I think it’s going to be a long night.

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David found a surgeon who could turn him into a hamster. Now he could store his chocolate properly.

David found a surgeon who could turn him into a hamster. Now he could store his chocolate properly.

Have a Nice Week all. Hugs.

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