Tag Archives: Superior

Strange Start to the Day.

3/4/2012

Something strange is going on. I can’t quite put my paw on it but my whiskers are bristling and that’s a sure sign. Of course it could also mean that a great wet is coming from the sky as well, but I don’t think it’s that.

We all know I creep into this room once my ‘The Him’ has left so I can leave a note for all my fans out there who understand how to treat Superiors and like to know what I’m doing.

Let me start by saying I got up this morning and all seemed fine, well as fine as it can be with two interlopers in the house. I refuse to call them guests since I certainly didn’t invite them. There really are times when the Longlegs shouldn’t be allowed out on their own. Still, I’m sure I got my message across to them the other day and they won’t tangle with me in a hurry. Anyway, I was up. I didn’t feel like walking in the direction of the lounge just then so I thought I’d pay a little visit to my ‘The Him’. I was shocked to find he was already up too and working on the writing box that I ‘borrow’ to speak to you all. As I got closer I could hear him huffing and puffing as his fingers tapped harder and harder. P L E A S E S T O P S E N D I N G M E H O R O S C O P E S he stamped out saying it out loud as he wrote. I have no idea what they are but anything starting with horror can’t be good. He saw me and leaned down “Hello Oscar old boy” he said, “do you want your breakfast?” And without being asked too.

He carried my dishes through the lounge to the food room, passing by the cage with the rats as I followed him. He put the thing on that makes water hot and then instead of scratching my ears while we waited he took some crunchy things from a packet and went to feed the rats FIRST!! BEFORE ME!!!!!!! His paw was at a funny angle passing things through the bars and before I could warn him that he’d get pulled into the cage, one of them took the titbit from his pinched fingers as the other one got a grip on another finger with her teeth. I expected a squeal, either from him at the pain or her as he squashed her for her cheek, but no, he laughed and said “Patience Penny, yours is here” and gave her a treat. He’s obviously gone mad or they’ve hipnippertised him.

He did my dishes and gave me breakfast. Then I saw him put some bread on to brown for himself and make himself a drink. He carried my dishes through and I left him to his meal while I had mine. As I came back there he was feeding them the crusty bits. I left in disgust and went to see my ‘The Her’.

I had just settled down when my ‘The Him’ came through with a drink and a plate of browned bread. “Thank you Dear ” she told him, “but please take it through to the lounge and I’ll join you there so I can feed the girls the crusts.” He swivelled round and headed back saying “Righto my Dear”. The world has gone rat mad. Do they not know these are rodents in the house of a Superior? It’s unheard of, or at least it should be.

After a little nap I went through to ‘borrow’ the writing box to tell you all of the indignities I’m suffering and there on the place where I tap I found hair. Rat hair, where I work. Please don’t tell me they’ve escaped. But I looked carefully about and couldn’t see them. I made my way to the lounge and there they were still caged up. I was just breathing a sigh of relief when they noticed me. One of them smirked while the other one just put her head down and crunched into a peanut shell. It was very unnerving.

I’ve come straight back through to tell you all about it as I don’t understand how these hairs got from that room to this and up onto the table where this box sits. If anyone has an answer please let me know, and if anyone would like two rats just let me know.

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Tale of a Tail.

28./3/2012 2

I really don’t understand. I have given the rats Penny and Amy ( stupid names in my opinion. They should be called Ratty and Another Ratty ) space to settle in. I have treated them with disdain when I’ve walked by the cage and no-one could suspect I may eventually have other plans for them. Mmmm, dinner.

Anyway, I confess that curiosity got the better of me. This morning I went to the cage
(Hmph, they even warrant their own luxury quarters. This has to be brought to an end). , lifted my self on my rear legs and put my paws on the edge of the table. One of them, Amy I think by her darker colouring, came forward and was almost nose to nose with me at the cage. Her nose was twitching to get the smell of my superiority no doubt, when I felt a tug at my tail. I know I have a habit of waving it about when something catches my interest. But my interest is not supposed to catch my tail. I looked down and there was Penny trying to pull my tail in through the bars, probably intending to pull the rest of me through with it. As a Superior (THE Superior actually) I did not scream when I felt the grip she had on me with those ratty teeth. But, there was no way I could allow this state of affairs to continue. Not in my own house.

Gritting my teeth together I told Amy than if Penny didn’t desist I would make a meal of her. I didn’t think she understood but after a moments pause ( nearly said paws then)
I heard her say to Penny, ” Stop sister. no point in making an enemy of this cat and I doubt he’s edible anyway”.
THIS CAT !!!! Who does she think she’s talking about.
But Penny looked up at her sister and released the tail reluctantly. “But I liked playing with it” she said.
“I shall overlook this incident” I told them both, “but you’d better be prepared for war if you ever do that again”.
Swinging my tail round, I licked it clean at the point where the teeth had been without showing that more than just my pride was a little hurt. I mustered all my dignity and turning round, walked away.

My first job after I’ve checked my food dishes is to see whether any of the gang know of a good recipe for Rats. Not that I shall mention why. I would never live it down. They already wonder why there are two rats in the house as If I’m not the Superior who makes these decisions. I had to lie and say I wanted the Longlegs to have company while I was away. But now I think my Longlegs deserve a short sharp lesson for putting me in this position. I think some claws extended massage is due tonight in the pretense of settling down on their knees..

Oscar making sure I know my chair is actually his.

Oscar making sure I know my chair is actually his.

Bernie's playtime in and out of sleeves. Coming for a kiss.

Bernie’s playtime in and out of sleeves. Coming for a kiss.

 

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Oscar’s Take On Language

10/17/2011

I’m still lying here resting my poor sore paw and that takes some saying I promise. I know some of you will say “Huh, he’s just lazy as the paw should be healing now”. But, although the paw is healing a bit, I’m feeling the arthritis beginning to bite now and its getting harder to move. Still, it gives me time to gather my thoughts and share them with you all.

This light had me thinking about language. I’m a well educated Superior and have come into contact with many Longlegs. Over time there seem to have been Longlegs visiting from all parts of this globe. I have heard the mangled English of America, the gutteral German, the temptation of Italian and the relaxed tones of Spanish. I’ve heard the Urgency of French, the leadership of Portuguese, the sing-song of Chinese and the melody of Welsh. I’ve heard those and more but it always surprises me that no Longlegs ever talks the Miaow language of Superiors. Nor have they one language understood the World over the way Miaow is. I can meet and greet a Superior from any part of the World because he speaks the same language as me. This is of course just further proof of why we are Superiors. They have to learn new languages all the time to communicate.

All this of course made me wonder about education and whether that’s what sets us apart from the Longlegs. Just listen to this…..they send their kittens away to be educated ! Yes it’s true, they go out in the light time and come home before the dark time and they go and learn things in large groups. I’ve heard of some things they learn like counting, that’s good but you only need count things like the claws on your paws really. They learn reading, which for them is good because they send things to each other in writing. They learn about other Countries, which is good if you live there but why bother if you only live here? They learn things which are useful like the females learn to cook my chicken and the males to build houses for me to live in, but that’s only because we Superiors have decreed it thus for our own needs, after all the Longlegs have the opposing thumb we don’t have. Yes, I’m sure that’s just something else we Superiors decreed.

What the Longlegs don’t have is the instinct we are born with. What they don’t have is a Superior’s education given by a parent of how to stalk and catch food, of how to organise Longlegs to do things for us. And this is given at home with no need to send us away during the light time. Our lives are far less complicated.

One thing we should envy the Longlegs though is life. We have nine lifetimes to learn things and start very early whereas the Longlegs live many more lifetimes. They start learning late but keep learning all the time so they may actually serve more than one Superior during that time. It would be nice if we had more than our nine lives so we could keep training the Longlegs under our care though I’m not sure I’d want to live the hundreds of years they do, after all I’ve seen what happens to their fur when they get old, it disappears and they have try and comb what’s left to cover the patches. I certainly wouldn’t want that as my fur is luxurious. Everyone should be as jealous of my fur as they are of my wit and charm, my education and training skills. Talking of which, it’s time I put my language skills to good use and suggested to my ‘The Him’ that he fills my dish with chicken.

oscar-book-cover

Link      goo.gl/IRMm2f

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