Ding, Dong, Dell

23/07/2012

      You could say I’ve had my up’s and down’s recently. Possibly you could say Pride Goeth before a Fall, though I really wouldn’t recommend it since saying it could prove painful..

Faithful Old Ginger had stood on the gate to catch my attention, Gizmo lying at his feet until he did so. Since My ‘The Her’ was asking My ‘The Him’ why he couldn’t stop the caterwauling he finally did and I was able to hear Ginger. Why My ‘The Him’ tries singing I don’t know since everyone says the arrow of tunefulness missed it’s mark by a mile when aimed at him.I went out through the open clearway. The skywater had stopped and the light was just warming everything up. As I approached the gate Ginger jumped down on the other side next to Gizmo who now stirred himself and in an excited mew told me to hurry up and see what they’d found. Temporarily firgetting that I don’t hurry for anyone, I jumped up onto the gate and over to join my friends. “So what have you found”? I asked.
“A big hole” Gizmo replied. “A well” said Ginger, “and we’ve not seen this one before”.

I followed my friends through the village, letting them set a brisk pace so no-one else got there before us. Not that it really mattered to me if they did since wells aren’t something I especially claim an interest in. We reached the Church and all in turn jumped over the stile and headed for the path. Ginger and Gizmo walked on the grass beside the path on either side of me who sauntered gently along it. At least I did at first because you will remember the Church path is very steep and it had been collecting a lot of skywater . Though most of it had run away along the sides , some had remained in the soil. My feet were becoming quite muddy and I was starting to slip and slide.

Eventually we reached a point where the slip and slide couldn’t be stopped and my body picked up speed. “Hey, wait for us” called Ginger rushing along beside me.
“Sorry Ginger, I’m just so interested in seeing your well” I said rather than admit I had no choice since even putting my front paws down hadn’t slowed me. On I went gathering speed and leaving my companions behind until my forward motion was checked suddenly and my feet felt nothing. I was just congratulating myself when my motion took a different turn, downwards. Judging by the bricks I could see before me I guessed I had now found the well.

The journey downwards took a long time it seemed and when the landing finally came, fortunately for me in water, the light seemed a long way away. I heard Gizmo call “Are you alright Oscar?” to which I replied as nonchalantly as possible, having just lost at least one more of my nine lives “Yes, thanks Gizmo. Just wanted to see if there’s anything interesting down here. There isn’t so you can help me out as soon as you like.”
There was a lot of muttering from above until Ginger finally leaned over and said ” We have no way of helping Oscar. Gizmo will have to go and find a Longlegs to help.” I told him “Not one of my Longlegs please” but Gizmo had already gone.
Time passed with Ginger asking me what I could see down there until I finally convinced him that he had the light up there and down here it was still dark time. Soon enough I heard voices.
“Sorry Vicar” said one I recognised as My ‘The Him’ this damned cat seemed to be wanting me to follow so I did. I was just going to show Mellor’s where to plant my rhubarb too.”
“Interesting “said the Vicar, “I thought he’d be the one to know the right spot since I gather he did a lot of planting with Lady C.”
Hello, I thought, I’m down here waiting……….
The Vicar stuck his head over the edge of the well. “My word, there’s a cat stuck down the My Lord, and I think it’s yours.”
Joining the Vicar in blocking out what little light there was came My ‘The Him’ and stating the obvious said “Yes, that’s Oscar, in trouble again I see.”
The heads disappeared for a moment then I heard the Vicar call out to his verger “Hoskins, be a good chap and bring me a rope and a bucket.” then turning to My ‘The Him’ said “They only found this well yesterday, I think it dates from before the civil war and I wanted to see if there were any marking on the wall to date it. Maybe it could be brought back into service, even as a wishing well for the children.”
“Interesting Vicar ” said My ‘The Him’ “but I don’t think it’s that old since there were no buildings here then. I’d say Victorian.”
I let out a mew to remind then I was there and they shut up. Just at that moment Hoskins returned with the rope and bucket. In short order they had the bucket on it’s way down to me and I was able to stop pedalling water long enough to climb in. In less than a minute I was back on dry land and able to say thank you to my saviour. “Well done Gizmo” I said “I’m very grateful. I entwined myself round the ankles of the Vicar and of My ‘The Him’ as a small thank you for the part they’d played but My ‘The Him’ jumped back saying “Oh no Oscar. You’re not sending me down there.Back away.”
I did so reluctantly.

Later on, back at home safely I cringed when My ‘The Her’ saw me and started singing, “Ding, Dong, Dell, pussy’s in the well.”
I tried to tell ‘The Him’ that he was right as coming up in the bucket I’d seen scrawled on one brick in the well, Joe Bloggs woz ere 1839, but as usual he didn’t understand me.

I turn you into a frog
                                               Shazam, I turn you into a frog.
ooh get you Harry Potter
                                    Ooh, get you Harry Potter. Ribbit
Have a wonderful week everyone. Hugs all round…

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Oscar and the Flying Fish

16/07/2012

      First of all I want to get things clear. If I’m to tell you my story you have to promise not to repeat it. It’s not that I really did anything wrong, it just that there may be some misunderstandings and though the Longlegs are here to serve, I’m well aware they do provide some food. Not that I can’t get my own you understand, but perhaps not the same variety. Mouse gets a bit boring after a time and frogs taste awful.

So, I was around at early light time enjoying a snack after a hard dark time getting comfortable. My ‘The Him’ and My ‘The Her’ came through to where I was and told me to behave today ! I know, it was really cheeky but sometimes you have to let some things pass. They told me they were going out and would be back later. Since I let them come and go as they like ( not like some owners who follow their Longlegs everywhere), I raised an eyebrow in goodbye. Well, I was busy eating wasn’t I. After they left I finished eating and went to have a short nap. That’s always fun since I can pick and choose where I go. This time I settled on going to My ‘The Him’s’ sleeping place and napping on his nightskin. The smell is sometimes strangely comforting.Rousing myself from the nap later I found myself still alone. Being fearless I decided to make sure the property was safe by checking each room. Most of them seemed OK and with just two left to do I went into their sitting place. On the arm of her seat I spied a bag of the odd colourful things she likes to eat. They’re very small and round and very very light. I haven’t tried one but they did look interesting and I wanted to make sue no-one had touched them while she was out. There may be peace between those rodents and I for now, but I don’t trust them. Anyway, as I pulled at the top of the bag to open it the bag tore a bit and quite a few fell out. They were all over the floor. I picked one up with my teeth and they felt strange and tasted a little funny. I think she’ll be grateful I threw some way when she gets back.

The last room was the food/eating room. I glanced round but it looked like there was no food left open. I couldn’t smell anything anyway. They had probably put it in the white box that blows cold over food. Shame as I would have checked that there was nothing gone off for them. My glance round the room told me something wasn’t quite as usual but I couldn’t place it at first. I decided to look a second time more carefully and there it was. The box that has the fish in it was open at the top. Well part of it anyway. Whoever had given them their food ( fancy eating flake) had left it open. I thought that might prove dangerous so I decided there and then to close it. Up I jumped with the balletic poise with which I’m gifted. On to the side of the sink, across the place the water drains off their cups and a quick jump up onto the box. I know you can see through all sides of the box but it was strange to see them from up top. I decided to watch them for a minute and leave the top open. There we’re quite a few fish in there and they came in all shapes and colours. One in particular was quite big and a very bright colour was swimming very near the surface. You don’t get a clear idea of the fin from above so I just put my hand down to try and turn it over for a small time. I suppose I moved quite fast because I know the fish are fast. My paw missed but the water splashed and it was funny seeing the fish all dart away. As the big fish edged back towards me I repeated the move but this time my paw caught it. Instead of turning it over I must have jerked my arm back in shock and the fish came out at great speed, left my paw and flew across the room to land on the floor at the far side. It flopped for a small time then lay still.

It was at this stage I knew I’d never be able to get it back up here to the box. Being a thinker I decided to leave it alone until My ‘The Her’ arrived back and she could do it for me. I decided to get back down from the box and head off to take a quick nap. Before I did so I remembered why I’d got up in the first place and shut the lid with my paw.
It was a short time later they returned and I heard as My ‘The Him’ entered that room,
“Julia, one of your fish has learned to fly. I’m afraid it’s dead. How strange, I’ve known fish jump out of an open tank before though never so far, but this is very strange since the tank is closed.”
“That is strange David” she replied. “you fed them this morning, it must have jumped out while you had the lid open.”
” That’s all I can think of too darling. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a new one to replace it.”
So a lesson has been learned today. If someone tells me to behave when I don’t need to be told, they end up getting paid back for it. And they’re so silly as to think there are flying fish like birds. Sometimes I despair of Longlegs.

baking day
all that fresh air
                                                      Too much fresh air.
Last Sunday I went for a meal with my family which included most of my cousins. The only times we are generally all in one place are weddings or funerals (and more the latter). We had such a good time  decided to try and do it at least twice a year.
The gangs all here
L to R. Moi, Linda, Brother Dil with Gary behind him, Debs and Peter. The gang’s (nearly) all here.
Have a Wonderful new week and I hope you get as many hugs returned as you give. Hugs to you all.

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Oscar and the Hangover

10/07/2012

    For once I have to admit what happened was my own fault. I’d been catnapping most of the bright time and only realised I hadn’t been out to take my exercise until the dark time had almost come. I roused myself, stretched and wandered through to see what I’d been given to eat. It was beef, and though I normally enjoy beef it just wasn’t what I wanted today. So I wandered in to say hello to my ‘The Him’ and My ‘The Her’ and perhaps show him a little of my displeasure that the meal I wanted wasn’t there. As it happened they were in the eating room and doing just that. It was chicken and I could smell the aroma as it tickled my nose.

My ‘The Her’ held a piece of chicken below the table for me to take. I did and it was delicious. She is very kind like that.My ‘The Him’ hadn’t noticed so I sat beside him looking up to see what he’d do. After telling me to stop staring which I ignored, he finally passed a small piece of chicken down. I forgave him for the beef and wishing them both well decided to go out for a stroll. My usual clearway was open and I hopped up to the sill and out into the garden.Everywhere seemed quiet and none of the usual gang seemed to be around. I decided to visit the village and see what was going on. I’d gone as far as the Fursty Ferret before I spotted signs of life. I knew there were Longlegs inside as I could hear them but had no way of getting in since the clearways were all closed. But, round near the back there was a hole in the ground. Close by stood a wagon with two great big horses to pull it. A Longlegs was taking large barrels from it and rolling them down a slope in the hole. It looked interesting. While he was looking away I decided to investigate. There were four barrels lying in a row at the bottom of the hole and I nearly lost my tail as another one came clattering down behind me. Then all of a sudden the hole was no more. It was closed.

As I moved to look around the room I was in I saw other barrels and crates of bottles stacked up. One of the barrels was dripping brown water and as I was a little thirsty I lapped at it. What a strange taste. Still, I lapped until my thirst was gone. I carried on looking around but all of a sudden my legs did not work properly. Knowing I’d been poisoned I made myself be sick then lay down to rest. I must have nodded off because I was suddenly awoken by the sound of a door squeaking. Feet appeared at the top of some steps I hadn’t noticed and started descending. At the bottom one stood in my sickness and slipped, “What the…..” I heard as a female Longlegs landed on her bottom beside me. I jumped up in case she landed on me and she screamed. Realising I was not a monster she said “Why you…….” which I didn’t stop to hear her finish. Up the steps I ran and through into a room full of the Longlegs I’d heard earlier. They all turned their heads in my direction. Not wishing to be rude I greeted them and as one stood up to leave and opened the clearway I bolted through the gap between his legs. I think I was lucky not to bounce off him as my legs were still not working perfectly.

I went home. That was enough exercise for me today. I slept and woke up to find my head hurt but my legs were working fine again. From now on I decided, I’ll only drink water that is clear.

clothes 4
clothes 5
                              Have a Great New Week everyone. Hugs to you all.

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Honest Oscar. Would you buy a used chariot……?

2/7/2012 

I’m not quite sure what Ginger means when he says of me “Would you buy a used chariot from this cat”. Everyone knows I’m the very definition of probity. I confess there are times it pays to bend the hard angles of truth a little or exaggerate slightly but that’s about it. I do after all have a reputation to uphold. To prove it I’m going to share a little secret but if it should get back to Ginger or one of the others I’ll know where it came from. I’ve been a bit down in the dumps . Only three of the rodents came out to be fed yesterday morning. My ‘The Him’ does it religiously every morning AFTER he’s fed me of course. He issues them cornflakes and then toast. It’s actually quite funny to see them trying to pinch the cornflakes off each other or drag his fingers into the cage as their next course. I noticed just three of them on the cornflakes and thought it odd but expected number four out when the toast arrived as they love the butter.It just didn’t seem right that he’s cut four pieces of crust and yet only three of them were there to eat.

What’s most odd about this situation is that the missing one is Penny, the one who causes me most trouble. I even went to the trouble of trying to wake My ‘The Her’ though if an oaf like HIM can’t do it how could I? Anyway, eventually he got her up and she came through. Always following their food My’The Her’ has them out to play two at a time which is usually the time for me to show discretion and retire to doze or perhaps eat. Penny is always first out and out longest. It wasn’t looking good. But, she put her hand in the cage and picked up Penny’s house and brought it out then went back for Amy who is their chief negotiator of the current truce. Penny came out of her house when Amy was placed on the long seat they run about on. She was definitely sluggish and seemed to be coughing as though she wanted to be sick. ( Rats can’t be sick. Just thought I’d impart a little knowledge). That lasted a few minutes until finally she jumped up and ran up the back of the seat and buried herself in the throw that’s kept there. Since she didn’t seem to want to move she was put back in her house and the house placed back in the cage.

I was out all day with the gang. We were in the woods since it was water from the sky time again. This is the time the Longlegs laughingly call Summer so perhaps the water was expected as it’s done little else for ages. When I came back home to eat, the rodents were back in their cage ( where they belong to my mind) so I thought no more of Penny until dark time. That’s the time they rouse a little again and sometimes come out to play again. There was no Penny coming out and I remembered she seemed ill. Again My ‘The Her’ put her hand in and brought Penny out. She just lay there being stroked and things just don’t seem right. She had to go back in early and everyone seemed subdued taking the whole sparkle out of the day.

Today it’s too early for their breakfast and playtime so I’m worried about what will happen when the cornflakes arrive. Two days without trading insults is just too much.

So now you know a secret and that I’ve shared a truth. But, don’t misunderstand me, if you tell anyone I’ll say you’re lying and my record of probity will stand me in good stead. After all, you’ve never heard me tell fibs on my blog yet……….Have you ?

the mahouts

 The Mahouts

why you watch me eat

                                                     Why you watch me eat?

Wishing you all a wonderful week full of hugs. Don’t worry about Penny.

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Anniversary apologies.

Where I thought it was 5.37 am this morning, I got up to find I should wear my glasses to bed. It was 1.37 am and I probably hadn’t been asleep above 90 minutes.  I started work and came across an early message from my daughter that today is the day. All week I’ve been dreading the arrival of Friday and suddenly Friday turns into Thursday.

It’s four years to the day since my beloved wife, and Yvonne’s beloved mother died. Though barely a day passes where I don’t think of her this time is always particularly intense for us both. I will probably take a break today from answering all your messages and please don’t bother writing a comment on this as I doubt I shall get to it. I just wanted to apologise to everyone for what might see like my ignorance today. I very much hope that Somnos will drop by and allow me to sleep the day away.

I’ve eaten breakfast because of the need to take tablets, not because of taking any pleasure from the food itself. Remarkably, despite the hand shaking, I spilled nothing. Perhaps it’s a good sign for the day.

Julia (2)

Ju on her 50th 2006

                    RIP Julia taken 30.03.2013

See you all tomorrow. Hugs

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Penny’s day of Reason

26/6/2012   I had a dream. I dwelt in a land of peace. It went like this…………..

    The humans ( whom that daft cat calls Longlegs) went out quite early this morning.  It’s possible they had something on their minds since it seems they forgot to feed Oscar before they left. We could hear him bemoaning the fact for a long time. It doesn’t matter quite as much for us since the houses we have inside the cage are edible and we can go longer without liquid refreshment than a camel. Two minor points here I should mention, don’t expect your rats to exist on anything but edible houses any more than you’d like to exist on a diet of nothing but potatoes, and, don’t think because we can do without liquids that you shouldn’t offer us a cup of tea when you have one. I enjoy one anyway.

Oscar’s moaning was getting beyond a joke so when he wandered close enough I called him.
“What d’you want Rat” ?  he asked.
“Now now pussycat” I replied, ” just wanted to know if you need help.”
“I’m hungry” he said, “what can you do about that”?
“Well, remind you that the housekeeper Grizelda will be here in an hour” I said.
“But I’m hungry now Amy and I can’t open the packets myself” he whinged.
“I think we can help then” I told him, “but you’ll need to open the cage door since the catch is on the outside.”
“I can do that” he responded “but can I trust you, and what would you want in return”?
“You can if you behave, and how about peace between us.” was my answer.

Oscar undid the catch on the door at the bottom end of the cage. Since it was a simple hook it didn’t tax his brain too much. The door being open it was but a short jump to the floor. I told Priya and Bernie to stay and guard the cage and took Penny with me. This concordat may have been reached with Oscar but I wasn’t sure he could overcome his base instincts and Penny was my watchdog. As Penny hit the floor Oscar reached out a paw and clamped it on her back. “And you Rat had better behave or there’ll be trouble.
I was ready to pounce and tell Oscar this wasn’t a good idea when Oscar removed his paw and started walking away. “Follow me rats” he said.

I heard Penny mutter something about payment and the Pied Paper but didn’t quite catch it. We followed the cat. It was a short distance to the room where his dishes were.
Once there Oscar pointed out a box full of foil sachets. “I need one of those” he told us
“and I prefer the ones that are the colour of apples.”
I jumped up onto the small table where the box was and checked inside. Oscar wasn’t much help since there was a red beef one and a green rabbit one inside. With a 50% chance of being right I pulled out a beef one. “Is this it” I asked.
“Yes, that’s it, like an apple as I told you.” he said.
I dropped the sachet to the floor in front of Penny and asked her to open it which she did with ease using her teeth to cut away the top. I picked it up and held it over Oscar’s dish where it slid out easily. He moved towards the dish without a word and started eating. Penny moved forward and nipped Oscar’s tail.

Oscar leapt a foot in the air and almost choked on his food. “Why?” he spluttered.
I looked at Penny for an explanation, “Yes why?” I asked,” I thought this was a day of reason.”
“It is ” said Penny, ” and the reasons were he put his paw on me and he didn’t say thank you for opening the food.”
As we walked back to the cage leaving a bemused cat behind us, I decided maybe I should re-evaluate my opinion of Penny.
We shall have to see if the agreement between Oscar and I stands.

roobs varsity
                                                                           The Varsity Boy
Ami smiling
                                                                    The Smiling Sister
This one is for my friend Judith Baxter  https://growingyoungereachday.wordpress.com/2017/03/25/grief-the-black-dog/
Bonus. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pvf_OBuJVE

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Oscar and The Day of Accidents

 

25/06/2012

    Things happen. They can’t always be helped and sometimes there’s no avoiding them.
I may have been having a time where my attention was not as it should be but personally I don’t think any of this was my fault.I shall start from the beginning.
I yawned and stretched as I started to come awake and my tummy began to tell me it was time to be fed. I did consider speaking to my ‘The Her’ since I was lying on her sleeping place close beside her head. But past experience tells me waking her would be difficult and certainly not as much fun as I could have. Accordingly I jumped down from my warm place and went to check my dishes. Yes, there was food in there but it had been placed there last light time and I’d slept since then. So, time for fresh then.

My ‘The Him’ was uttering little burbling noises as I went to him and I could see a little trail of drool from his mouth running down the side of his face as he lay on his back. It was quite sweet. Of course it couldn’t stay like that so with one of my more sensuous leaps I landed on his stomach. The burbling stopped and much of the breathing did too I think and a series of little whoops ensued as he tried to catch his breath, it was running too fast to be caught though. A little tear formed in his eye and it was quite interesting so I moved my head in for a closer look. It was pure accident that my paw happened to step on his nose at this point. With a loud gasp he drew air into his lungs and started to cough. It made standing on his stomach difficult so I showed my disapproval with a light swipe to his reddened nose. His eyes opened wide and now sure he was aware of me I smiled and said hello.

“Oscar” he croaked, “I’m sure you know exactly what you’re doing. What on Earth do you want at this time of the morning. It’s not five o’clock yet.”
It wasn’t worth answering him since I knew he’d work it out eventually and get up. He did, for some reason grumbling all the while. My food dish was washed, dried and refilled. I didn’t feel as hungry then as I heard a sound that was most annoying. The damn cock started to crow outside. I moved away from my food dish leaving it untouched and listening to my ‘The Him’ grumble about cats that get people up for no reason. I went and sat by the clearway patiently. As he started to go back towards his room he opened the clearway and let me out.

The cock was out of sight but not out of sound since I could still hear him bragging about whatever it was they brag about. Quietly and with guile I crept around the house until I could see him. Keeping low to the ground I crept towards him. I was almost there and ready to pounce when he saw me and with a flutter of his wings he ran. So did I. This was fun. The hedge came in sight and I was sure I had him then but with an almighty leap he was up and over. Just at that moment the big chariot that carries hay from the fields came round the corner and the cock landed straight on the back. The last I saw of him, he was sailing away in the distance to stunned to brag. It was a laughable sight.
Feeling cheered and now hungry again I decided to eat. There was a small clearway left open for me so up I jumped onto the sill. Unfortunately I must still have been thinking of the cock as I didn’t notice the vase placed in my path as I entered the house.Down it went with a huge crash and shattered into quite a few pieces. There was water everywhere and flowers strewn across the floor. I removed myself from the scene rapidly and went to my dish.

From where I was I could hear the commotion. Voices from both My ‘The Her’ and  ‘The Him’.
“How on Earth did you manage to break such a valuable vase David?” she asked.
“It wasn’t me” he said,”I just came through when I heard it. It was probably that damned cat of yours coming in again.”
” Don’t try and blame Oscar” she said “I can’t see him, can you? Oh well, accidents will happen I suppose.”
I decided at this point it would be a good idea to lay low for a while and under my ‘The Him’s’ duvet seemed a good idea.
It was some time later that I came out after a good snooze. Everything had been cleared up and there were no raised voices.
I wandered through to the seating room just as the ringing started. My ‘The Her’ picked up the small box and put it to her ear. “Hello” she said, and I could hear a faint sound from inside the box in return. “Really !” I heard her say a few times before saying thank you and putting the box down.
“David we have to go out. That was Major Summersby at Langholme Farm in the next County to say he’s just found our cockerell strutting about his yard.”
“How the heck” he started to reply but looking at me “did it get there when I heard it here earlier this morning.”
I just jumped up beside My ‘The Her’ and lay my head on my paws to allow her to scratch my neck and said nothing. After all, it wasn’t my fault the chariot had come when it did any more than it was my fault someone put that vase in my path.

roobs bridge
                                                                     Bear on a Bridge
Amelie ducks
                                                   Is He Cold Like Me Mummy?
                               https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdkolzXMcvY
I wish you all a fantastic new week of promotions, pay rises and luck in love. I’m probably the luckiest person I know in that department having found someone able to love me. I just hope she’s waiting for me now and that I go to the same place, not somewhere warmer. Massive Hugs to you all.
Maria Callas   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLcbfF9ypmM

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Oscar’s Joke.

6/18/2012

Picture

    There was a robbery. My ‘The Her ‘ and ‘The Him’ were out doing whatever it is they do when they’re not here, which is far too often if you ask me. No matter how many patrols I mount ( or at least intend to mount) there is only ever one of me , and though it’s true I have the Postwoman on the run, it seems not all Longlegs have learned to be afraid of me. Of course it’s possible that’s because not all Longlegs live with me and not all Longlegs have Superiors to teach them the error of their ways.

I always thought my own Longlegs had been well taught though I confess that at times I scratch my head and wonder what my ‘The Him’ was doing during some of the lessons because he certainly wasn’t paying attention. For instance, the number of times I’ve tried to tell him about not leaving  some of the small clearways open in the dark time. We all know there have been times someone has crept in and eaten my food. It’s different if it’s in the village itself as Longlegs there value my acceptance of their kind invitations, especially at the Fursty Ferret where they have left a nice salmon before now. But surely no-one could possibly think my meals are an open invitation to help oneself to.

Anyway, there’s been a robbery. I hope no-one is suggesting I was asleep on the job here  but it had been a fraught couple of longtimes looking after those beastly rodents who had made quite a noise when they thought the house was empty. I may have inadvertently dozed for a few shorttimes but was rudely awoken by muffled voices and clanking sounds. I stood up to protest and seeing what I saw , thought discretion the better art of valour and realised I could probably see things better from behind the chair in the corner of the room. Lots of things were being put into sacks by two Longlegs and carried out to a large white chariot.  I watched for a while until they seemed happy with their haul and one said ” Roit, that’s it, let’s get outta here sharpish .” They left and the chariot drove off quickly.

My ‘The Her and The Him’ returned. He walked in first and stopped, he looked around and gasped, “Oh no” he said “burgled.” The Her walked in and getting her priorities right came to check on me. Seeing me there on her bed, on guard of course, she dashed off to check on the rodents.( As if someone would steal them when they could kidnap me for ransom.) Anyway, next thing they were on the phone thing and men in blue fur came. I could hear the questions.
“Was anything valuable taken?”
“Of course officer. Lots, but the most valuable was my clock.”
” Do you know anyone with a grudge against you Sir ?”
“No, I’m afraid not officer.”
“Well, write me out a complete list sir. Beggar off cat, you’re getting under my feet.”
“I’ll do that officer. Oscar, come here boy.”
I went and had my ears scratched. I was desperately trying to tell them something but couldn’t get them to understand. Scratching my ears seemed to be distracting me, but I knew I could solve this case for them since I know who did it.
One of them was called Sharpish as his friend had let slip when calling him. But the other one, the rogue, Oh I know who that was. It was Procrastination. Many’s the time I’ve heard  ‘The Him’ witter that procrastination is the thief of time and since the valuable clock was stolen it must be him. If only these Longlegs could think like a Superior there’s be much less crime.

amelie and spag
cat girl and boy
Now for something different.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKDYyFf1s0I
Have a wonderful new week filled with fun and hugs to keep you going until next weekend

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Oscar’s Lazy Day

11/06/2012

    The great hunter placed his body low to the ground. With the quiet instilled by years of training and centuries of animal instinct he pulled himself through the undergrowth barely displacing a blade of grass in his progress. Books should be written about this skill and future generations will seek to emulate the perfect machine. At last the progress came to an end and the prey was not just in sight but was in perfect ignorance of what was to happen. One perfect pounce and it would all be over.

Damn, it flew away. I was poised to get it, resting annoyingly as it was on top of a rose.
These butterflies are unpredictable.We had some warmth and light from the sky today and the Longlegs were out and about in the garden with smiles on their faces. My ‘The Her’ was wearing those funny short skins on her legs . She was going round pulling up weeds. Being an obliging sort of chap I tried to help but she didn’t seem to welcome that and was constantly screaming at me to stay away and leave her flowers alone.
My ‘The Him’ looked silly walking round with a large piece of white tissue up his nose to stop him going Atishoooooo, as he seems to whenever we have a day like this and he spends it in the garden. She always tells him to go inside but he says “No” he wants to help. He doesn’t actually do anything though except follow the heat round by turning his chair and drinks the cold tea the other Longlegs brings out.Days like this don’t seem to happen as often as they used to when I was a kitten. And the Longlegs seem to say the same though of course they are idle and live a lot longer than Superiors. That’s probably because they let us do all the work. I mean, I caught two butterflies already today and how many have they caught?  None!! I suppose I should say I caught one really as the other one more or less caught me by landing on my nose. But hey, it’s a nice day and who’s counting.
In a moment I shall have a spot of milk and then take a stroll to the village to see what the gang  are up to. Maybe we can tease a bull in a field or something. Perhaps I’ll just lie here for a minute and replay that last hunt in my head while I doze.

christening-13

One of my all time favourite records.Lead singer Levi Stubbs Jnr seems to mean every word

And now for the advert.

I wish you all a great new week with plenty of Love n’Hugs and much happiness.

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Compromises and Adjustments

5/6/2012

    No-one could accuse me of being obstinate or refusing to accept a truth. With that in mind I have been able to come to terms with the fact that the rodents are here to stay, and while they will not, indeed cannot replace me in my ‘The Her’s’ affections, they are to be a fixture and she obviously for some reason unfathomable to me, likes them.

While I accept the realities of this situation I’m not sure the rodents were able to so I felt it my duty to place the facts before them and reach a compromise suitable for both parties. I waited until after they’d had their breakfast from my ‘The Him’ and been out for a bit of exercise with my ‘The Her’. Only one thing might have marred the discussions and that’s when I approached the seating place and the large one called Penny looked down at me as I walked past. I couldn’t help but look back and go closer. Instead of backing away she put her nose to mine and sniffed. I brought my paw up and smacked her. My ‘The Her’ was most displeased but with me? and not with Penny. I didn’t understand this and was going to argue but being a most placid fellow I walked away.

Back in their cage and the Longlegs having left the room I sauntered slowly up to the cage. There were hisses of derision but I didn’t let it bother me as I settled two feet away.
“What do you want cat” ? said Amy, the biggest of them and their obvious leader.
” I’ve decided to let you stay” I replied, “But, there are some things we’d better get straight.”
” Oh yes, and what would those be Pussykins” chipped in the one they call Bernie.
Reminding myself I had a debt to pay sometime I looked at Amy and told her, ” Firstly, I don’t want to see you move if you’re outside the cage and I come into the room.
Secondly, there’s to be no more name calling if we both live in the same place and lastly I’ll make sure the Longlegs tolerate you if you remember my word is law here.”
“Well Mr. Cat” she replied, “I think we can probably manage to do without the name calling if it works both ways but I’m not sure we can adjust to not moving once we’re out of the cage since it’s what the humans expect of us. As far as your word being law, I’m afraid we can’t agree to that since you might just expect us to do things that will go against our nature. Tell you what. let’s agree to no more name calling and see how it goes. If you don’t annoy us I won’t ask Penny to tweak your tail, how’s that?”

As you can see I’m a very reasonable cat but even I couldn’t agree to that and lose face so I had to leave the room and here we are with a dilemma. How can I learn to live with these rodents if they won’t accept the most reasonable of terms?

ice-cream-wait
                                                            Waiting forever for ice-cream.
id-rather-eat-cake
                                                                   Let Them Eat Cake.
Something totally new….
Wishing you all a wonderful new week full of hugs.

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