Things happen. They can’t always be helped and sometimes there’s no avoiding them.
I may have been having a time where my attention was not as it should be but personally I don’t think any of this was my fault.I shall start from the beginning.
I yawned and stretched as I started to come awake and my tummy began to tell me it was time to be fed. I did consider speaking to my ‘The Her’ since I was lying on her sleeping place close beside her head. But past experience tells me waking her would be difficult and certainly not as much fun as I could have. Accordingly I jumped down from my warm place and went to check my dishes. Yes, there was food in there but it had been placed there last light time and I’d slept since then. So, time for fresh then.
My ‘The Him’ was uttering little burbling noises as I went to him and I could see a little trail of drool from his mouth running down the side of his face as he lay on his back. It was quite sweet. Of course it couldn’t stay like that so with one of my more sensuous leaps I landed on his stomach. The burbling stopped and much of the breathing did too I think and a series of little whoops ensued as he tried to catch his breath, it was running too fast to be caught though. A little tear formed in his eye and it was quite interesting so I moved my head in for a closer look. It was pure accident that my paw happened to step on his nose at this point. With a loud gasp he drew air into his lungs and started to cough. It made standing on his stomach difficult so I showed my disapproval with a light swipe to his reddened nose. His eyes opened wide and now sure he was aware of me I smiled and said hello.
“Oscar” he croaked, “I’m sure you know exactly what you’re doing. What on Earth do you want at this time of the morning. It’s not five o’clock yet.”
It wasn’t worth answering him since I knew he’d work it out eventually and get up. He did, for some reason grumbling all the while. My food dish was washed, dried and refilled. I didn’t feel as hungry then as I heard a sound that was most annoying. The damn cock started to crow outside. I moved away from my food dish leaving it untouched and listening to my ‘The Him’ grumble about cats that get people up for no reason. I went and sat by the clearway patiently. As he started to go back towards his room he opened the clearway and let me out.
The cock was out of sight but not out of sound since I could still hear him bragging about whatever it was they brag about. Quietly and with guile I crept around the house until I could see him. Keeping low to the ground I crept towards him. I was almost there and ready to pounce when he saw me and with a flutter of his wings he ran. So did I. This was fun. The hedge came in sight and I was sure I had him then but with an almighty leap he was up and over. Just at that moment the big chariot that carries hay from the fields came round the corner and the cock landed straight on the back. The last I saw of him, he was sailing away in the distance to stunned to brag. It was a laughable sight.
Feeling cheered and now hungry again I decided to eat. There was a small clearway left open for me so up I jumped onto the sill. Unfortunately I must still have been thinking of the cock as I didn’t notice the vase placed in my path as I entered the house.Down it went with a huge crash and shattered into quite a few pieces. There was water everywhere and flowers strewn across the floor. I removed myself from the scene rapidly and went to my dish.
From where I was I could hear the commotion. Voices from both My ‘The Her’ and ‘The Him’.
“How on Earth did you manage to break such a valuable vase David?” she asked.
“It wasn’t me” he said,”I just came through when I heard it. It was probably that damned cat of yours coming in again.”
” Don’t try and blame Oscar” she said “I can’t see him, can you? Oh well, accidents will happen I suppose.”
I decided at this point it would be a good idea to lay low for a while and under my ‘The Him’s’ duvet seemed a good idea.
It was some time later that I came out after a good snooze. Everything had been cleared up and there were no raised voices.
I wandered through to the seating room just as the ringing started. My ‘The Her’ picked up the small box and put it to her ear. “Hello” she said, and I could hear a faint sound from inside the box in return. “Really !” I heard her say a few times before saying thank you and putting the box down.
“David we have to go out. That was Major Summersby at Langholme Farm in the next County to say he’s just found our cockerell strutting about his yard.”
“How the heck” he started to reply but looking at me “did it get there when I heard it here earlier this morning.”
I just jumped up beside My ‘The Her’ and lay my head on my paws to allow her to scratch my neck and said nothing. After all, it wasn’t my fault the chariot had come when it did any more than it was my fault someone put that vase in my path.
Bear on a Bridge
Is He Cold Like Me Mummy?
I wish you all a fantastic new week of promotions, pay rises and luck in love. I’m probably the luckiest person I know in that department having found someone able to love me. I just hope she’s waiting for me now and that I go to the same place, not somewhere warmer. Massive Hugs to you all.
Maria Callas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLcbfF9ypmM
So, the heat made me sleepy and I curled up inside a flower bed to relax. Before My ‘The Him’ went to his sleeping place he closed and locked the clearway. He had not noticed me ( or so he said), had not called me ( as he thought I was in) and didn’t bother to check. You can understand my decision to play Solomon here can’t you.
It started to get darker and cooler causing me to think I should go back inside and settle down on My ‘The Hers’ sleeping place and spend the dark time guarding her as I usually did. But on rousing myself and moving over to the clearway I found it closed. I called out but to no avail. I walked round the building to see if a small clearway was open but I found none. There was light from My ‘The Hers’ room but it seems she could not hear me sing either. I’m reluctant to try at His clearway since he throws things at the slightest sound. You really wouldn’t believe he doesn’t recognise my voice after all these years.The woods lie very close to home and some very inviting rustling sounds stirred memories of my great hunting days when I was wont to leave my Longlegs superb gifts every day. Surely I had lost none of my skills and I needed to occupy my time before returning home to find the clearway open again.
I stepped into the woods and the dark became more absolute as the night light could not break through the branches of the trees. There was a sound to my left and in one lithe move I turned and pounced. Ugh, it was one of those long things with hundreds of legs where not one of them tastes like chicken. I let it go and moved further into the trees. Another noise, another pounce and under my paw was a mouse. I was tempted to eat some and take the rest back to the Longlegs until I remembered they seem to like live things like that to play with and might not appreciate such a gift. I let it go also and moved further into the trees. Then there was a rustle and as I pounced I was met with a fox pouncing in my direction and how he smelled ( yes I know, with his nose)phew ! It was a shock to both of us but foxes don’t tend to hang around us Superiors for long so he turned tail and walked away. I suspect I should have been insulted that he didn’t run but perhaps he perceived I was not looking for a fight.
I was turning round to retrace my steps out of the woods since the time was passing and I’d proved I can still hunt when there was a loud scream and a whooshing sound. My automatic response was to duck ( not fear you understand, just the opportunity to assess the situation) which I did and as I did I felt something touch my back. A screech of disappointment followed and as I looked up I saw a pair of claws rising above me attached to a great bird who’d been hunting me as I hunted. My departure from the woods speeded up at that point and the morning light was just coming through as I reached safety, erm I mean reached home. I strolled across the lawns towards the clearway and saw My ‘The Him’ just open it. I picked up speed and made it before it was closed again.
“Why Oscar. where have you been? Don’t tell me you’ve been out all night” said My ‘The Him’ never the brightest bulb in the box.
“You must be hungry old boy. Let’s get something for you.” But he’s not too bad though sometimes. Maybe I’ll forgive him this time.
I ate and went through to where My ‘The Her’ was sleeping. I jumped up and curled up beside her tummy and fell asleep.
Hoping you all have a great new week full of hugs to remind you how special you are. Thanks for your company.
There is also the problem at the moment of having fallen backwards off the seat when one of the rodents surprised me and tried to run between my legs. When I enter that room now there is an outbreak of laughter from the four who seem to think I might have run away rather than just fallen a great distance.
So, today here I am outside the clearway lying in the warm light from above and enjoying the odd snooze. I mean, we all have skills and this is one of my better ones.
I woke up long enough to greet the Longlegs who brings things to put through the door that makes My ‘The Him’ ( yes, I know I’m far too forgiving but one has to treat ones pets well) shout loudly at My ”The Her’ ” What on earth have you bought this time. Timeshares on the Moon”? The Postie as they call her seemed to recoil on spotting me. I know our previous encounter was unfortunate but be fair it was hardly my fault was it. I was being summarily ejected at the time and gripping her leg was an automatic reaction. She’d have been fine if her leg furs had been longer.
Anyway, I spent a lot of time dozing in the warmth till Ginger came round a suggested a walk through the village. This can often be a rewarding adventure given that some Longlegs leave their clearways open which must be an invitation mustn’t it? And not being rude, it would be a shame not to take advantage of their generosity. After all, some of them don’t have Superiors of their own to spoil. A nice roast chicken was our reward for a visit today which we ate in the shelter of the woods. Purely to shelter from the sun you understand. After which I decided to return home while Ginger decided to carry on exploring by which I expect he meant find some milk that hadn’t been taken in yet.
I had just reached home and started to lay down when I heard a scream.” Look out David, she’s making a break for the door.” I was startled by the noise and jumped in the air, just at the moment when the rodent called Penny appeared in the open clearway.
As I was already in ‘alert’ mode I couldn’t jump any higher but surprisingly the rodent did. Seeing me and watching me jump she turned tail and retreated back into the house where she was scooped up by My ‘The Her’ and placed back into her cage.
“Oh Oscar, you brave cat, what a good boy you are. David, put Oscar some chicken out.”
said My ‘The Her’ and despite not wanting more chicken some was placed out for me. My ‘The Her’ patted the seat beside her as an invitation to jump up, something that’s been sadly lacking recently. But as I’ve pointed out I’m a forgiving owner so up I jumped to enjoy a period of stroking and praises about my bravery in saving the day. So I’m a hero again which is as it should be and all of a sudden there’s no sniggering from the rodents who know I faced one of their own down and won.
That’s long enough. My patience has worn thin. I went to look through one of the clearways to see if I could see where the smell was coming from but I got a little tangled in the clearway covering. Trying to wrest myself from the grip of the covering I perhaps pulled a little hard because they came down with a snap and covered me even more. As they fell, unfortunately they brought down one of those tall things my ‘The Her’ puts her flowers in. I hope they’re good with puzzles.At last a key in the lock. I shot across the room and reached the clearway just as it opened. I shot out. “Oscar” they shouted in unison and my ‘The Him’ tried to grab me as I went past. Last I saw of him he was on my level struggling to get up. I admit I shouldn’t have sniggered as I looked at him because before I knew it my feet were feeling warm and the smell was very close indeed. I finally looked down. My feet were black.
The smell was coming from the surface of the road which had been freshly covered in black stuff. I turned and pulled my feet from the road one by one moving back towards the grass of the garden. The heat was leaving my feet but now my pads felt quite hard. They were covered from pads to ankle in black smelly stuff that had been spread across the road. As I got to the grass I lay down and tried to remove the layer of black that had attached itself to me. I went home through the still open clearway and as I hit the wooden floor my pads were tapping as though I wore the Longlegs shoes. It was undignified to have people hear me coming. I went to my ‘The Her and expressed my dismay that she would not try to keep me in, and dismay that she did not make more of an effort to keep me in.She as usual feigned indifference to my words as though I do not make myself understood. I’m sure I do.
So, I finish the day sitting by my ‘The Her’ as she gently tries to soap the black stuff they call tar from my pads with soapy water. This could be a very long job.
Go for your gun pardner.
Honest, it’s a motor car usually.
A magic week to you all with Hugs Galore x
It was three lights ago when I saw them heading out of the clearway to their chariot. My ‘The Her’ even shouted goodbye but I was too busy yawning and stretching to respond properly, I did however send a thought in their direction that I required some nice fresh chicken. Sometimes they’re quite clever and catch the thought, other times they’re just so obtuse it a crime.
I occupied my time properly while they were out with sleeping, stretching and sleeping some more. After all, you must be very careful not to overdo things there days. I was lying on my ‘The Hers’ sleeping place basking in the warm light that comes through the clearway as I didn’t want to go through to where she has those rats of hers. They can be very rude sometimes. Anyway, I have no idea what she sees in them at all and should really be reprimanding her for not being available whenever I want her. Even my ‘The Him’ seems to have more time than she does. There will have to be a reckoning soon.
Some time passed and the light had moved a bit. I roused myself as there was a need for food. Roast rat on a stick appealed but there was no chance of that. Just then the clearway opened. In came my ‘The Him’ carrying what looked like a kitten box followed by my ‘The Her’ saying “Hello my baby, see what Mummy has got, Such a surprise.”
“It is a kitten ” I thought, ” but she’d better be referring to some nice tender chicken or else”………. She wasn’t. Bags of shopping were strewn everywhere in their food room but nothing came out for me. Instead they gathered round the cages in the room of seats and started making the strangest cooing noises. My ‘The Him’ ran out and came back with a new cage like that of a Chinese bird, sat down, opened the cage door and proceeded to place some pieces of paper and food inside. My ‘The Her’ opened the kitten box. I was about to tell her no kitten was going in a cage in my home when out of the box she drew ‘Another Rat’. Not just any ordinary rat either, it was obviously a kitten and quite small but it’s ears, Ohh it’s ears, they were big. I’m talking BIG here. They were like conch shells sticking out. Already I’m alternating between boredom and anger. After all, what need have we of another rat? What need have we of ANY rats I ask.
They spent more time putting the creature now called Bernadette in the cage and trying to stroke it before standing the cage on top of the big cage with the Cruella sisters in. I’m half past bored now so I wandered off to the food room. I could smell no chicken for which there will be payment but I did manage to find a rather nice parcel of ham which tided me over till tea time. I even felt so much better when I heard the squeal later ” Julia, that cat, YOUR cat has had my lunch”. Soooo satisfying.
Anyway, I’ve decided not to let them out of my sight for a while. Three rats in the house is three rats too many albeit one is too young to be rude yet. I’m waiting till they realise that it’s chicken or nothing next time. And in the meantime I’m going to occupy the knee of one or other of them and get all the attention I can.
I had walked to the village to check on my interests and seen small groups of the local cats and kittens along my way. In the centre by the Fursty Ferret sat Ginger or rather stood like a Longlegs reading from a paper tacked to the wall. “What are we to do Oscar?” he said “we can no longer be friends.”
“What rubbish is this Ginger” I asked, ” how can we not be friends after having been so for such a time?”
“Ti’s no longer to be allowed since this new Cat Council has come into being.”
“Cat Council? What are you blathering about Ginger.”
“Read it” he said.
By Order of the Cat Council.
Let it be known in the world of Moggies that the Council has in it’s wisdom decreed changes that are to be implemented immediately.
No more will there be mixing of breed.
From now on Pure White Persians are the true breed and are selected for rule. Only they shall sit on the Council.
Ginger and marmalade cats are to be the troops under the direction of the Council and who are to enforce the rules.
Black cats are the workers and are to perform all the duties decided for them by the Council and told to them by the troops.
Manx Cats are to be pitied and laughed at.
No groups are to socialise with each other since obviously only Pure White Persians are worth socialising with. We, the Council will decide whether anyone from one group can rise in the ranks to another- simply they can’t.
All worship shall be decided by The Council. We shall decide on a deity suitable for each rank. That deity shall be governed by the rules of the Council.
If any kitten should be found playing in a way thought not suitable or playing with a kitten from another group, that kitten can be beaten by the Deity’s Pastor of the flock. Especially if they are found to be playing with others of the same sex.
Any older kittens found to be with others of the same sex will be ostracised from all groups and deemed to be unclean.
” But this is patently ridiculous Ginger” I told him.” We’re far too civilised to live this way. Just ignore it, obviously a big joke.”
“But……” he said, and at that moment I woke up. I laughed to myself. How silly, I thought. After all, no-one could live like that could they?
It’s for you.
Not a good idea to say “Where’s your nose Amelie?” Excavation due.