The Cough, The Gas Man Cometh and the Runaway Cigarette.

Sunday. I managed to get up at 6.00 am and start right in on the mail but there were just so many this morning. I listened out for rain in case we were car booting again but heard nothing so I thought I’d just keep going as much as I could in case. We all know what it’s like, some messages you have to answer, some you need to comment on and others you think why’d they bother to send them. There were lots to answer to start me off as there were many comments on last night’s blog. Some of them didn’t even swear at me. In truth everyone was showing their usual amazing patience but surprisingly no-one mentioned the children’s choir I found so amazing. Says a lot for my taste doesn’t it.

Damn, Mike’s alarm went off at 7.00 am so it means it was either another mistake on his part or he was intending to car boot. Discretion being the better part of valour I went through to the kitchen to see to the fish, drugs and my coffee and while there I prepared Mike’s mug and stuck the kettle on. If he got up I could pretend to be ready for him, if not the mug would be ready. Great, no movement so I returned to my room and started again. I’d done about two answers when I heard him move but just as far as the loo. Back to the kitchen I reboiled the kettle and made his drink. I put it on the side table next to his chair and prepared to go back to writing for a while. As I passed the bedroom door I noticed he’d gone back to bed. I was ready to stamp my foot in frustration when a little voice said “I’m awake but I’m cold”. I would have suggested he put a dressing gown on but brought his coffee through instead. Back to my room and I sat down to continue when there was a padding of footsies. ” I’m in the lounge you know” he called. Sigh, back up I took my drink with me and entered the lounge. Mr ‘Cold I am’ is sitting in his trollies ( underpants) and tee shirt in a room with the window open. I finished my drink and suggested he let me know what he wanted to do and when he was ready to do it. As for me I went to get washed and dressed and get as much mail done before the movement orders came.

About 8.00 am Mike came through to my room wearing a coat complaining at me keeping him waiting. I had a choice, carry on writing and bite my tongue in half, carry on writing and finish the missive I was on or wrap my hands round his throat and later plead insanity. In the end I just put my jacket on, slipped a carrier bag in my pocket, crutches on my arms and headed for the door. We decided to head for the Countess of Chester Hospital in Chester because their carboots are usually quite big. We did have to allow for the fact that it had rained a bit during the night and despite the forecast was spitting now. When we arrived it was quite a poor showing. Also, Mike started to feel unwell as he suffers quite a few problems with his stomach, quite often the rest of us suffer quite a few problems with his stomach too, but at least we were outdoors. Poor sould had to shuffle past the stall so fast he didn’t see much. I bought two candles and that was it. We packed up to find him a loo. Luckily I kknow a Frankie and Benny’s opens at 9.00 am for breakfast on a Sunday and it wasn’t too far away. We arrived there and he did a little dance to the loo and left me to order. I knew he’d want his normal Americano with cold milk on the side and I ordered a big breakfast for him. ‘Cos I’m so good I had my latte and a small bacon, egg and beans Oh, with toast for us both of course. After that we headed for home.

At 12.45 am I’d virtually caught up with mail and we were ready to go for lunch though we couldn’t manage a full Sunday roast dinner. That meant we could go to the Ivy and have a snack instead. The Gannet’s snack was a lamb hock with saute potatoes and mine was something else ‘ahem’. I remembered to take tablets which I’d forgotten at breakfast. Everyone came over to talk to us which was great and Tariq managed quite a conversation, mainly along the lines of “Why do my other customers all disappear when you two walk in?” We were actually there quite a long time and as we left Tariq came out with us and forcibly stuffed my money back in my pocket as today’s meal was a treat from him. What am I going to do when he has to close down bankrupt?

We had a ride into Prestatyn to buy a BFG for supper then took a back road hoping to come out near the Castle for sale. No joy. We did end up going to Jackson’s nursery for a drink to make up for missing one two weeks ago. Then as I couldn’t find any inspiration for this month’s birthday presents we went home. I was almost 3 hours back on the computer as Mike was looking at ebay on the laptop in the lounge. At 7.00 pm I forced myself to take a break and half the 16 portion BFG disappeared for tea, and I had a piece too. We watched Endevour together and for me it just keeps getting better and better. At 10.00 pm I helped Mike settle an ebay problem and then came back through where I still am. But now at 12.30 am I think it’s time to close. Hope you all enjoyed a great weekend and have a great new week to follow. Cwtch.

Monday. I was up at 4.50 this morning and working on the mail. Cough, cough, wheeze, wheeze it was really annoying. By 6.30 I was shattered and lay down for a minute that became an hour. When I woke the second time it was 7.30 and I could hear Mike in the kitchen. Amazing, I didn’t think he knew where it was. ( By the time he reads this he’ll be in Canada and I’ll be safe from retribution). As I went through to say good morning I realised I hadn’t even heard his alarm go off which is unusual. I did my usual routine and took my coffee through to sit with him- I was sitting, not the coffee. He was already fairly well prepared to journey off to his Dad’s to meet with a social worker then travel home to his son’s to pick up his grandchildren from school. He only has a couple of days as he flies out on Wednesday for his month in Canada. Maybe I should be suspicious because I have another friend who flies out exactly a week later for 3 weeks. I know he likes her. Hopefully his sister will keep him in check. I must admit it was quite sad to wave him off this morning and know I’ll be missing out on laughs for a while but at least I know he’ll have a great time.

After I’d bolted the door so he couldn’t get back in I lay down for a while. The chest is a problem I have to live with but it does get wearing after a while. It wasn’t long before I got up again as I remembered the gas man cometh today between 10 – 2 o0 pm. I’m afraid I couldn’t be bothered getting dressed so I cleared as much as possible out of his way then plonked myself back in front of the computer. There was a knock at the door at 10.20 am and it was him. I sort of pointed him in the right direction- the loo- then towards the meter. He agreed it wasn’t an easy place for me-or anyone but said rather than raise the meter as I’d hoped, what he suggested was smart meters which actually send readings in every half hour so they never need to read the meter again. If that was what he suggested who was I to argue so he phoned the instructions in from his van and then came back to say I should get a phone call in a few weeks. I pointed out it should be on file that I don’t do phones so he said they’d write.I won’t take long and will probably be him as he’s local. He left and I was so pleased I’d just about coped that I emailed Yvonne straight away to tell her. It was a case of “Well done Daddy, but what about the handle for turning the gas off if you ever need to? That’s partly the reason for doing this.” I felt quite deflated as I hadn’t given that a thought. I’ll just have to wait until he comes back again and hope it’s a Tuesday when Yvonne is here.

The next thing was to check my gas balance on line. After the most recent fiasco’s it had gone from £200 in arrears to £300 in credit. Today’s reading left it just £97 in credit which was a blow. Have I used £200 of gas in the last 2-3 weeks and damn, I won’t be able to get a rebate now. I’m in credit of over £200 on the electric but they won’t rebate that without a new reading so If my chest is OK later this week I’ll go outside and get a new reading from that meter. I went back to work until lunchtime when I had a pie. The rest of them will have to be put in the bin now. I should have frozen some last Friday. There will be tears. After lunch I turned TV on but only saw a few minutes before I felt myself drop a cigarette and start to nod off. The cigarette had gone inside my pocket so I was dancing on the spot tying to gt it out. I did fall asleep afterwards. Later I went back to work till almost 6.00 pm then had tea and some more TV. I caught a Harrison Ford film I’d not seen before, Clear and Present Danger. When I say caught it, I mean in between noddy periods. I can’t believe how tired I am today. Back to work at 10.00 pm and I’m now up to date and have beaten the witching hour deadline. I’m off to bed. Night all !

Tuesday. Awake at 4.15 am but with just one thought in my head. No way Jose, I’m not ready. I went straight back to sleep until 7.30 am. I bypassed the computer and went straight into the kitchen to see to the fish. The snails are coming back again and I may have to buy an assassin snail. I love the idea of a kind of ninja snail on my payroll going round and taking out all those snails that have offended me. Had my meds, made a coffee and took it back to the bedroom. While I waited for the computer I took an antibiotic but judging by my breathing between the kitchen and here, they haven’t kicked in still. A few years ago it took 4 different lots and I still ended up in hospital so I can do without that happening again. Can you imagine the blog….Lay in bed all day, they took bloods, gave me oxygen and wouldn’t let me smoke.                   The mail was fairly heavy but that was OK as I wasn’t going anywhere. I have the chest and Yvonne has a cold, better the twain not meet. I worked all morning and was disappointed when the real postman didn’t pay a visit. I dearly want to see the book I ordered for Reuben about toys becoming real through being loved. I broke off at lunchtime for a small pizza and then fell asleep in the chair afterwards. A message from Yvonne woke me to say they were still coming for Tuesday night tea and she’s feeling much better. At that point I didn’t know Ugo had  taken the day off to be with Reuben while Yvonne slept it off during the morning. 

I worked some more once awake so as not to fall too far behind today. By 4.30 I’d had enough and went back through to the lounge. I was on the point of nodding off yet again when I caught a glimpse out of the window of someone moving across my field of view. They’d arrived early. I got to hold Reuben straight away and he was full of smiles for me. It was probably because he was planning his next moves that I wasn’t aware of. It didn’t take long to find out when he suddenly burst into life in my arms and grabbed the beard to hang on. My eyes leaked.Then he spotted the chain about my neck an he spent ages trying to get at it and remove it forcefully. He tried getting my glasses, chewing my finger off to get at my ring but all the time he was fixated on the chain. Ugo went out to collect tea from the hippy and when he returned I was exhausted and happy to hand Reuben over to his mum. I buttered and cut up some bread for her to give him. I enjoyed my sausage and chips and Ugo enjoyed his kebab after which I gave him the last of the BFG and knowing Reuben stood no chance of getting any, I brought him a chocolate biscuit to nibble on.                                                         All too soon it was 7.00 pm and they had to leave. Since I hadn’t been dressed all day I had to wave them off at the door. Reuben wondered why Pops wasn’t carrying him to the car but I’d have had no wind at all if I had done.

I did a little more work and watched TV from 8-9.00 pm. Work till 10.00 pm then a new episode the the Mentalist. Very good, but I’m not sure how I like the changes since they no longer have Red John to chase. Then back here to finish post and do the blog. I’ve timed it well enough to be able to read a little. I need to rest as I have to get dressed and visit the corner shop in the morning.  Sleep Well.

Wednesday. 4.15 am today and not a struggle. I nipped, nay skipped to the loo and then came back to see the damage. I was pretty amazed that there were 23 emails just from last night despite the time I’d finished and a further 61 between midnight and 4.15 am. Do none of you sleep?  I know here’s a time difference in some places but it should only be silver surfers like me on the computer between midnight and midday. Anyhoo I got stuck in. Two of the con artists from Nigeria were back on with their millions. Maybe they don’t know about my vow of poverty. ( I vow I’m sick of being poor). By 7.30 am I was pretty clear but decided not to refresh until I’d seen to the fish. I took my antibiotic and went to the kitchen.

When I refreshed there were quite a few posts from ‘Kitty’ who invariably has something interesting to say or to show. There have been some wonderful wildlife video’s to see but also some very disturbing posts about things happening in various parts of the world.  http://dearkitty1.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/hummingbirds-flowers-and-iguana-in-costa-rica/  When it comes to things like one of our leading political parties having Neo Nazis as members and holocaust deniers then I’m very disturbed. When I see posts about a leading U.S. Bank suggesting Europe needs a dictatorial government to deny benefits to it’s peoples I’m even more disturbed especially when France already has a far right leader who is imposing austerity measures. I sat back and asked myself  why a bank should suggest imposing austerity measures when it can’t know what they mean. I doubt very much if any bank is intending to lead by example. It is worrying though that after all the conspiracy theories we read about banks wanting to take over an run the world, why they should want right wing governments in place to do so. Then a chap I admire greatly, the famous Pinkagendist had a post where the wife of a Minister, identity disguised, is blogging about gay people coming back to church to repent as though being gay is a sin, and being anti gay marriage , promoting opposition to same. What happened to live and let live, to tolerance, to the path in life suggested by Jesus who these Christians are supposed to follow? There will be questions and answers from both sides of the argument to come on Pinkagendists blog as each states their point of view.   http://pinkagendist.wordpress.com/   At this point I’m introducing a song for you all.

I got dressed at about 9.00  am and took a slow walk to Pauline’s. OK, I know I’m stupid but I needed cigarettes. I have cut down while my chest has been bad and tried to use one of the fake fags in between but I still enjoy the real thing. I worked most of the morning and finally cleared the box at just gone 11.30 am.My postman came and delivered a parcel for Mike. He looked at he name and said “That’s not you is it?” I had to explain I was taking parcels while Mike is away. He’d warned me one was coming and I knew what it is but when I picked this box up it’s as light as a feather. I wonder if the man who sent it forgot to put anything in?  Time to see what was on TV. Hellfire, just what I need this week, a choker. How do I eat lunch with a lump in my throat? As it happens I did manage but I didn’t really enjoy it so that should count for something. As usual I nipped in and out during the afternoon to try and keep current . For no reason other than it was one of Ju’s favorite records before she died and we played it at the funeral I’m posting a second song for you.

I’d just finished my last update at 5.30 when I was surprised by the arrival  of Lee James. I thought he was in Japan. Turns out he goes on Friday. Blow me, not five minutes later his wife Jen appears from work and is joining us foe games night for a change. I’m so pleased. It was almost 6.00 pm before Dil and Matt arrived so by the time I’d sorted drinks we had a slightly later start.One of the nice things about having Jen with us was that I could suggest not playing scrabble. After last weeks horror losses I didn’t want to chance it. So, I got away with suggesting Balderdash first. Ha, they agreed and somehow I extracted my revenge with a whitewash. I suggested a second game and maybe LJ saw the glint in my eyes as he suggested changing to Absolute Balderdash. That lad has a cruel streak. But, being the (grit my teeth) good loser that I am I ak-wee-essed. What happened? Well, it was an even bigger whitewash, I romped to victory miles ahead of my nearest rival. WOO HOO !! L.J.and Jen chose that point to leave. I’m sure I hear muttering about the biggest bloody liar in the world but maybe my hearing is a bit off. I made another drink for Dil and Matt and grudgingly brought the biscuits out, I only left two in the packet just in case, but being noble I didn’t eat one. Matt drew up the score sheet for Nomination whist and Dil dealt the cards. The first couple of hands were a bit iffy but I did get into my stride. Bingo, I won that too. A clean sweep. We packed up and they left without hitting me once, mainly because I was barricaded in the kitchen, lethal that Matt can be. After they’d gone I did the pots, tidied up and came through to finish the mail and do the blog. It’s now almost 12.30 am and I’m listening to the end of a record I’ve not heard before by someone I’ve not heard of before. My last job of the night is to share it with you. If like me you’ll love someone for a thousand years, you’ll enjoy it too.

Thursday. Back to early starts again. It was just 4.35 am when the bladder alarm  struck and had me scuttling along to the loo for a stop start session that was worse than the works bus route in  morning. By the time I got back to the bedroom I was wide awake and so were all the birds who’d gone to sleep on the guttering outside the bathroom window. It’s not really my fault, when you pee standing up and in the dark you have to pee in the middle so you know you’re hitting water. Ignoring the birdie complaints, I wrote myself a note that if I go out later I must wear a rain mac, and then turned the computer on. One of the first items I found really delighted me, I’m due a £385.65 tax rebate…. or as the idiot who tried to take me in described it.. Tax Refound Notofication!  It would be nice if the crooks at least learned to spell the words they’re using to convince others. I also had quite a few messages about instant insurance quotations in seconds which I thought I’d take a look at. I dutifully filled in the online form with the info required like Age-Ancient, Smoker, Yes Please, Sex, more than Yes Please…..you get the picture. I get all the way to the bottom of the form and it says now provide your telephone number so one of our annoying sales reps  highly trained consultants who will scour the universe for the best quote, can speak to you. So, I put in a fake number and I hope they spent ages trying to get through.

I heard a little tapping sound and when I looked up I saw it was 8.10 am. I dashed ( stop laughing at the back) to the kitchen where one of the bull nose plecs was using a snail to tap a morse code message on the glass of the tank. It was only ten minutes for heavens sake. Yes, I know it was lunchtime yesterday but my brain is porous these days. Things slip out. I smiled and fed them. They turned their backs n me and swam away. I took my sprays and went to get my pharmacy from the lounge.Man, that drawer is heavy. Maybe it’s all the medicinal Mars Bars I hide from Mike- for his own good of course. I took my morning tabs and then refilled the container with a full week’s supply. I replaced the drawer and then made myself a coffee to take back to the bedroom. Before starting work again I got dressed as judging by my lottery results I need tickets for Friday and the weekend. Maybe I’ll have to double the bribe to £2 ? I worked on clearing the first batch of post until almost 9.30 am then took a four legged stroll to Pauline’s where I also bought some baps. The sun was really shining so I must have looked odd in my rain mac but you just don’t understand how vindictive a tired bird can be. I could return looking like I have white spot. I managed the journey unscathed however so I’m just hoping the sunshine put everyone if a good mood.

I refreshed my page and though there were only 41 I knew they’d take a while. I put my head down and forged ahead and cleared one because at that moment the postman came and delivered another watch I’d been waiting for and my book The Velveteen Rabbit, more accurately it’s Reuben’s book but I get first read. I’ve been hearing about it for a while as a modern classic and it certainly seems to be full of promise. I put it away ready to give it to him on Sunday. I wonder how long it will take to be devoured as he now has 3 teeth. I continued with my mail. It strikes me that though I’m often inundated with mail, I get to read some fantastic blogs of people I follow, some of whom have become tremendous friends over the time I’ve been blogging. I’m so grateful that some are dedicated to the most worthy projects possible, or some that just fill you full of hope. Others just manage to bring a constant smile to my face. At 11.30 am I knocked off to go and make lunch which as usual I sat with in front of the TV or is that sat in front of the TV with? I stayed there until 2.00 pm before starting the usual afternoon dodging back and forth. I wasn’t too bothered about anything early evening but I wanted to be free for 8.00 pm. I was free, and my Big Bang Theory lived up to it’s usual humorous promise. There were two other comedies with new episodes following that which I thought I’d try. How I met your Mother which I can take or leave and the new ( to me) Brooklyn Nine Nine which has a lot of mileage in it. It made me laugh out loud and not much does that. It’s usually quiet appreciation. Anyhoo, after that I came back through and brought the post up to date before coming to bore you to tears. To make up for it I have another blast from the past for you.

Friday. 6.15 today and I’m happy with that though it was 1.00 pm before I turned the light off last night. I had to check under the bed for the bogey man first. I’d been hoping for a boogie man but I’m told no-one does boogie now. While ploughing through my mail I was reading a post that shocked me. It said that in 1978 a record was banned in North America because they didn’t like the idea of 4 men in dresses. I had to sit and think for a while about who’d be threatened by that, it was done in such a humorous way. I don’t know whether the ban extended to the record as well as the video or whether the record company actually made an alternate video for the American market. Anyway, you all know what this is leading up to so without further ado I give you……………. QUEEN. 

The morning was as usual, the fish getting fed on time and me getting my coffee. I nipped to Pauline’s for some cash and bought some ciggies. Since the Government increased the tax on cigarettes yet again I now have to ask for 95 instead of 100 with my brand trying to keep the prices down. The Government complain that smokers use the health service with self inflicted illnesses. I accept that, but everyone else who complains should remember their treatment is subsidised by smokers through the taxes we pay. As I got back from the shop (sans Kitkat today) another parcel arrived for Mike but at least it wasn’t my postman today wondering if I use an alias. This parcel is of the right weight for what I was expecting so I’ll assume he ordered something very light earlier in the week….and it suddenly dawns on me that he’s ordered a homburg. Wednesday’s parcel is explained.

I had a pizza at lunchtime and followed it up with an afternoon kip.That lasted for a good hour before I returned to answering messages. I bobbed in and out to keep things as up to date as possible so I could have an evening break. I managed from 6.00 pm to 8.30 pm and only came back in here after Mastermind. Surprisingly I was able to answer at least a couple of everybody’s specialist subjects and some of the general knowledge. Back here it’s been a time of commenting on quite a few blogs and doing a number of tweets. People are brilliant at returning the favour. I left it until late to start the blog and I want to be in bed before midnight. As Mike always says, If I’m not in bed by midnight, I should go home. I hope all my friends in the Antipodes have had a great start to their weekends and I hope all my friends from elsewhere in the world get a great start when it arrives for them.  Hugs !

Saturday. There I was this morning at 5.40 am with plenty of time to work and not an alarm clock anywhere to disturb me. By 7.00 am I was feeling tense listening for the sound. I even got up and went through o the kitchen and put the kettle on- I don’t use the kettle for my drink. This fish must have been over the moon as I fed them and I don’t do that on a Saturday. Oh heck, things have gone to pot and he’s not even here. I took my tabs, made my drink and went back to my bedroom blowing a quick raspberry in the direction of Mike’s room as I passed it. For a Saturday morning there wasn’t too much post but I still worked steadily till 8.30 am. Still not quite getting my head round not going shopping and not trading insults with my bro I went to take a shower. See, he’s even skived off washing my hair and I had to revert to  bending in the middle and doing it with my arms now below my head. That only resulted in me having to sit down in a hurry as I overbalanced. Take my word for this, sitting on a shampoo bottle is not comfortable and doesn’t result in your nether regions getting covered in foam.  It does however result in some high pitched noises you hope the neighbours don”t want to investigate.

I got dressed. You must have heard the saying ‘All dressed up and nowhere to go’ I felt a fool so I changed into jeans for comfort. I brought my post up to date and decided to go out to Pauline’s. Instead I diverted to the One-Stop over the road and got some cash. Their machine was working for once. I chose there because they are affiliated with a bigger supermarket and often carry specials. I needed Easter eggs for my nieces for tomorrow and wanted to see their choice. They did me proud and while there I decided to get them for Yvonne, Ugo and Reuben. Then it was back over the road to Pauline’s where I tried to hide the contents of my bag so she wouldn’t know I’d shopped elsewhere. The choice of eggs there is awful. I bought my cigarettes for the weekend, one other item and left. Before going home I nipped to the ‘Savoy’ which is a little sandwih shop that also do some meals. I bought a nice ham salad sandwich ( heavy on the onions) for my lunch and a sausage roll for my tea.  Back at home I refreshed my screen and found a few messages had come while I was out. I also checked ebay and found I’d forgotten to bid on some books I wanted and the pesky auction had finished. Typically it was a low price too. I was up to date with mail again by 11.00 am and took a break. I stepped out to see if the bin men had been and met my postman arriving with a free pen I won. The bin men had been except the food bin man had collected everybody else’s but mine. I’ll be looking at a plague of flies outside the front door next week.Heaven knows what the inside of the bin will look like when I come to put the next bag in.

I sat with a book listening to a bit of music until lunchtime. Then it was time to enjoy my sandwich with a portion of BFG I’d got from Pauline’s. Well, I couldn’t go to my Ivy Emporium or Kassidy’s and I missed my morning coffee at Temptations, I deserved a treat. The only trouble is I’m missing my friends at the Ivy and am talking to the walls and this is only week 1. I had a nap in the afternoon as soon as I chose a film to watch. There was no snoring in the chair beside me and I know I was bored. Roll on tomorrow when the girls come. I nipped back and forth to keep an eye on the mail but it’s been quite manageable this week.  Mind you, I’ve had more opportunity to get at it. By 9.45 I knew I wasn’t taking anything on TV in so decided to call it a night. I’ve had chance to get up to date before coming to the blog to regale you with today’s non-happenings.  I hope Mike’s having a great time in Canada but I’ll be glad when the month is up.

The last song for this week is by one of my favourite artistes of all time. Mr James Taylor. I want to dedicate it to all my friends out there because it’s called Shower the People you Love with Love. Enjoy…….

Well padded camouflage.

Peace at last

I’m almost on my way.

My white afro.