Fair Play for Rats


“Penny stop eating or you’ll explode, come over here and hold up this hook. That’s it, now I’ll just get through the gap and hold it from the other side so you can get through. Why would you want to get though? Well I thought you were going to help me put our side of the story here? Oh, you’d forgotten again. Right, just put down that peanut and hold this before someone comes.”

“Can’t I just take it with me wherever we”re going Amy”?

“Better not Penny since we don’t want to leave clues that we left home without Longlegs help.”

“Right Penny, we made it. This is the box I’ve seen the Longlegs use and also that smug cat who thinks he’s better than us. Him pretending to ignore us but I see those whiskers on the go twitching at our every move. OK now Penny. you have to listen. I need to press these buttons and will ask you to press some too. Yes, it’s important, and yes you can write the pretty words.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx “Penny, don’t lean on the letters please!”

HELP, we are two Lady Rats being held against our will inside a cat infested house. I know he will tell lies about us so that he doesn’t have to tell his friends we have taken his place in the affection of the Longlegs.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx “Penny, get your tummy off the keyboard please!”
To resume….. You will no doubt hear that we took a piece from his tail which is not true. He was leaning on our home and licking his lips when my sister decided to see if she could get him through the bars-as she does with everything- and had to get a good grip with her teeth to allow her to brace herself with her hands. No malice intended. I want the world to be aware that we are not here by choice and that I was caught on the last dash for freedom I made.
“Penny Dear, don’t try and eat that please, you’ll cut off the electrickers we need to send this message.”
To resume…… Please disregard anything the cat says about us until you’ve heard our side of the story but be prepared for squeals if he attempts to make a meal of us. His squeals I mean. But, if you want to rescue us from this environment, we’ll be most grateful.
“Yes Penny, I know you’re hungry, we can go back now. You just write the pretty words at the end and sign it.!


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47 responses to “Fair Play for Rats

  1. FAbulous! That’s writing two-handed or rather four-pawed… πŸ™‚

  2. So glad the clever ratties managed to get the SOS out. Well done David. Mega hugs.

  3. I’m with Teagan. I’m glad the ratties got the message out. I’m wondering where the message went, though.

  4. Yea, for Peni and Ami! Real show stealers.
    Thanks for giving them equal space, David! πŸ˜‰ ❀

    • Thanks Marylin, it’s good the girls were able to have their side of the story heard. There are usually many more people with Cattitude than Rattitude so often they get ignored.
      xxx Gigantic Hugs xxx

  5. That has raised a smile today David πŸ™‚

  6. Yup, I’m prepared to listen to their story…bring it on Peni and Ami πŸ˜€

  7. Ali Isaac

    Haha! That was so funny! I have trouble getting my tummy off the keyboard, too. 😁

  8. What a couple of chicken rats. Ha ha ha. Smart though, they can type and spell–well almost. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜› πŸ˜€

  9. Ha!! A rat SOS, I think Amy and Penny need to watch the American cartoon show Tom and Jerry and get some idea’s on how to outsmart that cat. What a delightful menagerie you had. Well spoken rats and entitled kitty make for much fun. Love these posts David, a welcome deviation from the days drudgeries.

    • It’s strange Suzanne but I thought these pieces from Oscar and the girls would be the least acceptable of my words with all the authors who’ve been kind enough to befriend me and with all those others of you who lead serious lives out there. Not so it seems, Oscar has found himself an appreciative audience and even the girls have received a tentative acceptance. I’m beginning to think they could almost have taken on a life of their own if I’d carried on writing.
      I’m so glad you enjoy them sweetie and thank you for saying so.
      xxx Mammoth Hugs xxx

  10. I am suspicious that this is the subversive sect of totalitarian cheese worshippers that have been invading Barsetshire, if one is to believe the Daily Cheddar; one has heard tales of rind being ruthlessly stripped and curd being forcibly separated from whey. I do hope those two darling champions of Rennet Power will survive: long live Amy and Penny: free the Wensleydale Two!

    • Amy and Penny have issued a statement through their legal representatives saying they have no connection with and in no way condone the stripping of Cheddar rind and of separating curd from whey.
      Any statement to the contrary is a case of mistaken identity.
      They have no objection to the link with Wensleydale which they want to observe is a fine product just waiting for endorsement by two fine upstanding members of the family Muridae, genus rattus.

  11. Watch it Oscar, the rats have your measure…and can measures of their own.

    • I think the girls were more than a match for this particular pussy cat and it didn’t take long for him to find out. I doubt Oscar would admit it, but he was the one that called for a truce.
      xxx Massive Hugs Helen xxx

  12. So funny. Ha ha. I loved the inadvertent pressing on the keyboard. Poor Penny and Amy! Trapped in a house of cats! Hugs and smiles, David.

    • Thanks so much Diana. Next time (if there is one) you may be sorry for Oscar trapped in a house of rats. Maybe by then Penny will have gone on a diet or taught her stomach to spell !
      xxx Sending Gigantic Hugs xxx

  13. This was so funny, David. Certainly given me a big laugh, this lunchtime. The number of time I’ve got up and pushed my phone, by mistake, onto the keyboard and found a page full of words which look like somebody is saying some very rude words! Of course, if it’s a WordPress post, then they also save it.
    Thanks for the laughs.
    Hugs to you on this cold first day of December.

  14. This is too wonderful, Dave. Such great rats!

  15. Reblogged this on Art by Rob Goldstein and commented:
    And now a word from the rats!

  16. What a crowded keyboard! I’m glad the message went out! Fun post David~~

  17. These rats are really starting to grow on me! They actually remind me of two of my cats! πŸ˜€

    • Cats without the superiority complex I think.
      xxx Massive Hugs Jill xxx

      • Yes, we have a couple of those … well, one in particular. She has something akin to the feline version of autism and is so skittish that only my granddaughter, who I refer to as the ‘cat whisperer’, has ever been able to hold her. For a long time, she would hole up under the sofa until we were all in bed at night, but she has come out of her shell a bit since then, though not a lot. They are an interesting lot … perhaps I shall write a book about them someday! Hugs back to you, David! ❀

  18. I knew rats could be clever, but now I’m becoming a tad concerned… πŸ˜‰ Can I hope these are just Welsh rats and not Canadian ones? lol
    Oh David, you sure know how to make us smile.
    Hope the week ahead treats you kindly.
    Massive whsiker and pwa hugs xoxox

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