Tag Archives: Oscar

Oscar’s Joke.

6/18/2012

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    There was a robbery. My ‘The Her ‘ and ‘The Him’ were out doing whatever it is they do when they’re not here, which is far too often if you ask me. No matter how many patrols I mount ( or at least intend to mount) there is only ever one of me , and though it’s true I have the Postwoman on the run, it seems not all Longlegs have learned to be afraid of me. Of course it’s possible that’s because not all Longlegs live with me and not all Longlegs have Superiors to teach them the error of their ways.

I always thought my own Longlegs had been well taught though I confess that at times I scratch my head and wonder what my ‘The Him’ was doing during some of the lessons because he certainly wasn’t paying attention. For instance, the number of times I’ve tried to tell him about not leaving  some of the small clearways open in the dark time. We all know there have been times someone has crept in and eaten my food. It’s different if it’s in the village itself as Longlegs there value my acceptance of their kind invitations, especially at the Fursty Ferret where they have left a nice salmon before now. But surely no-one could possibly think my meals are an open invitation to help oneself to.

Anyway, there’s been a robbery. I hope no-one is suggesting I was asleep on the job here  but it had been a fraught couple of longtimes looking after those beastly rodents who had made quite a noise when they thought the house was empty. I may have inadvertently dozed for a few shorttimes but was rudely awoken by muffled voices and clanking sounds. I stood up to protest and seeing what I saw , thought discretion the better art of valour and realised I could probably see things better from behind the chair in the corner of the room. Lots of things were being put into sacks by two Longlegs and carried out to a large white chariot.  I watched for a while until they seemed happy with their haul and one said ” Roit, that’s it, let’s get outta here sharpish .” They left and the chariot drove off quickly.

My ‘The Her and The Him’ returned. He walked in first and stopped, he looked around and gasped, “Oh no” he said “burgled.” The Her walked in and getting her priorities right came to check on me. Seeing me there on her bed, on guard of course, she dashed off to check on the rodents.( As if someone would steal them when they could kidnap me for ransom.) Anyway, next thing they were on the phone thing and men in blue fur came. I could hear the questions.
“Was anything valuable taken?”
“Of course officer. Lots, but the most valuable was my clock.”
” Do you know anyone with a grudge against you Sir ?”
“No, I’m afraid not officer.”
“Well, write me out a complete list sir. Beggar off cat, you’re getting under my feet.”
“I’ll do that officer. Oscar, come here boy.”
I went and had my ears scratched. I was desperately trying to tell them something but couldn’t get them to understand. Scratching my ears seemed to be distracting me, but I knew I could solve this case for them since I know who did it.
One of them was called Sharpish as his friend had let slip when calling him. But the other one, the rogue, Oh I know who that was. It was Procrastination. Many’s the time I’ve heard  ‘The Him’ witter that procrastination is the thief of time and since the valuable clock was stolen it must be him. If only these Longlegs could think like a Superior there’s be much less crime.

amelie and spag
cat girl and boy
Now for something different.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKDYyFf1s0I
Have a wonderful new week filled with fun and hugs to keep you going until next weekend

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Oscar’s Lazy Day

11/06/2012

    The great hunter placed his body low to the ground. With the quiet instilled by years of training and centuries of animal instinct he pulled himself through the undergrowth barely displacing a blade of grass in his progress. Books should be written about this skill and future generations will seek to emulate the perfect machine. At last the progress came to an end and the prey was not just in sight but was in perfect ignorance of what was to happen. One perfect pounce and it would all be over.

Damn, it flew away. I was poised to get it, resting annoyingly as it was on top of a rose.
These butterflies are unpredictable.We had some warmth and light from the sky today and the Longlegs were out and about in the garden with smiles on their faces. My ‘The Her’ was wearing those funny short skins on her legs . She was going round pulling up weeds. Being an obliging sort of chap I tried to help but she didn’t seem to welcome that and was constantly screaming at me to stay away and leave her flowers alone.
My ‘The Him’ looked silly walking round with a large piece of white tissue up his nose to stop him going Atishoooooo, as he seems to whenever we have a day like this and he spends it in the garden. She always tells him to go inside but he says “No” he wants to help. He doesn’t actually do anything though except follow the heat round by turning his chair and drinks the cold tea the other Longlegs brings out.Days like this don’t seem to happen as often as they used to when I was a kitten. And the Longlegs seem to say the same though of course they are idle and live a lot longer than Superiors. That’s probably because they let us do all the work. I mean, I caught two butterflies already today and how many have they caught?  None!! I suppose I should say I caught one really as the other one more or less caught me by landing on my nose. But hey, it’s a nice day and who’s counting.
In a moment I shall have a spot of milk and then take a stroll to the village to see what the gang  are up to. Maybe we can tease a bull in a field or something. Perhaps I’ll just lie here for a minute and replay that last hunt in my head while I doze.

christening-13

One of my all time favourite records.Lead singer Levi Stubbs Jnr seems to mean every word

And now for the advert.

I wish you all a great new week with plenty of Love n’Hugs and much happiness.

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Compromises and Adjustments

5/6/2012

    No-one could accuse me of being obstinate or refusing to accept a truth. With that in mind I have been able to come to terms with the fact that the rodents are here to stay, and while they will not, indeed cannot replace me in my ‘The Her’s’ affections, they are to be a fixture and she obviously for some reason unfathomable to me, likes them.

While I accept the realities of this situation I’m not sure the rodents were able to so I felt it my duty to place the facts before them and reach a compromise suitable for both parties. I waited until after they’d had their breakfast from my ‘The Him’ and been out for a bit of exercise with my ‘The Her’. Only one thing might have marred the discussions and that’s when I approached the seating place and the large one called Penny looked down at me as I walked past. I couldn’t help but look back and go closer. Instead of backing away she put her nose to mine and sniffed. I brought my paw up and smacked her. My ‘The Her’ was most displeased but with me? and not with Penny. I didn’t understand this and was going to argue but being a most placid fellow I walked away.

Back in their cage and the Longlegs having left the room I sauntered slowly up to the cage. There were hisses of derision but I didn’t let it bother me as I settled two feet away.
“What do you want cat” ? said Amy, the biggest of them and their obvious leader.
” I’ve decided to let you stay” I replied, “But, there are some things we’d better get straight.”
” Oh yes, and what would those be Pussykins” chipped in the one they call Bernie.
Reminding myself I had a debt to pay sometime I looked at Amy and told her, ” Firstly, I don’t want to see you move if you’re outside the cage and I come into the room.
Secondly, there’s to be no more name calling if we both live in the same place and lastly I’ll make sure the Longlegs tolerate you if you remember my word is law here.”
“Well Mr. Cat” she replied, “I think we can probably manage to do without the name calling if it works both ways but I’m not sure we can adjust to not moving once we’re out of the cage since it’s what the humans expect of us. As far as your word being law, I’m afraid we can’t agree to that since you might just expect us to do things that will go against our nature. Tell you what. let’s agree to no more name calling and see how it goes. If you don’t annoy us I won’t ask Penny to tweak your tail, how’s that?”

As you can see I’m a very reasonable cat but even I couldn’t agree to that and lose face so I had to leave the room and here we are with a dilemma. How can I learn to live with these rodents if they won’t accept the most reasonable of terms?

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                                                            Waiting forever for ice-cream.
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                                                                   Let Them Eat Cake.
Something totally new….
Wishing you all a wonderful new week full of hugs.

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Introducing Amy’s Family

31/05/2012

    Hello again every one. In case you’ve forgotten my name is Amy and I’m leader of the Rat Pack. After having been a little unhappy over the name the humans refer to groups of my kind, I’ve decided that Rat Pack sounds quite cool  and compared to some sounds quite reasonable. After all I wouldn’t want to be part of a ‘Murder of Crows'( and believe me that’s quite fair because their sound can be murder on the ears). A ‘Dissimulation of Birds’ doesn’t sound all there does it?  How about a ‘Chatter of Budgerigars’ that one’s true enough, a ‘Clowder of Cats’ that one means nothing unless Clowder means nasty, a ‘School of Dolphins’ makes them sound intelligent, a ‘Skulk of Foxes’ Hmmm, reasonable that one, a ‘Mischief of Mice’ and sometimes people refer to us that way as well. But in the end I think Rat Pack will suit me very well thank you.

Sometimes settling into a new home is difficult but there have been no major problems here after teaching the humans ( a Pack?) that my teeth are quite sharp if they try to handle me without permission and sometimes just when they stick their fingers through the bars. After all, if you stick fingers in to offer treats we have to bite, you mustn’t be surprised to be bitten if you stick them in treatless and expect us to notice.
Anyway, I want to introduce the family. Obviously there’s me and like most of my kind I’m very intelligent and very underestimated. But there are exceptions to every rule I suppose so here’s Penny. She’s my sister and I love her dearly but she’s not the brightest jewel in the box. Fortunately she’s playful and very affectionate so the humans don’t notice.

Next we have Bernadettte, or Bernie who is a lot younger than Penny and I but who is a quick learner and copies Penny’s every move. She makes me laugh when the humans get her out as she pees on them a lot and hasn’t quite learned to keep her soiling to one particular area yet. They have a lot of cleaning up to do once she’s been out to play. Finally we have Priya, the youngest and smallest of our pack. She’s most like our original ancestor Rattus Rattus except it looks like she wears white socks.She’s starting to get used to the humans but hasn’t properly learned about getting treats yet.

As I say the humans aren’t too bad here and they’re learning quite well. But for some strange reason they also have a cat. Hmm, just one of a Clowder but that’s enough. It’s taken a little longer to train him since all he seemed interested in was catching us before. Penny taught him a bit of a lesson by climbing up his back leg when he happened  to be on the seat when she and I had been got out to entertain the humans. He was so surprised he ran away. Though he’s ventured close a few times he keeps a wary eye out.
It was funny a few days ago when I managed to reach the floor and ran towards an open door. As I reached it he was on the other side. We both saw each other at the same time and were startled. I was surprised long enough to be caught and my escape foiled, he was just stunned into inaction though he claimed afterwards to have helped catch me and basked in the credit even though he’d done nothing. He’s a sly one and bears watching. Don’t get the wrong idea about the escape either. It’s not that I don’t like the humans or the house they’ve given us but I like the idea of the open spaces outside. So, you may just hear of more attempts. If I ever make it of course you won’t hear anything except from the cat who is the only other one who can use the computer which I’ve ‘borrowed’ while he’s asleep.

So there we are. You’ve met me and my family now. Oscar the cat claims to be a Superior but I think you can work out for yourselves whoever you are that he’s fooling himself and that we by dint of our brains ( well maybe not Penny) are the superiors round here. We just don’t need to brag about it. I hope you get to enjoy more of our activities and adventures when we venture forth from our house within a house. As for me, I’m delighted to meet you.
Amy

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Me fighting for food with Penny.

hammy

One of the Human pack ?

the-race-is-on

The Race is on !

Wishing you all a Great New Week filled with Hugs when needed.

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Nighttime Adventures.

29/05/2012

    The heat from above has been shining down for a few days. It’s actually made me quite sleepy. ( I refuse to say a little dozy since I know the Longlegs sense of sarcasm works well on remarks like this). It was my feeling a little sleepy that got me into a mess, well that and the terrible mistake My ‘The Him’ made for which judgement will be rendered.

So, the heat made me sleepy and I curled up inside a flower bed to relax. Before My ‘The Him’ went to his sleeping place he closed and locked the clearway. He had not noticed me ( or so he said), had not called me ( as he thought I was in) and didn’t bother to check. You can understand my decision to play Solomon here can’t you.
It started to get darker and cooler causing me to think I should go back inside and settle down on My ‘The Hers’ sleeping place and spend the dark time guarding her as I usually did. But on rousing myself and moving over to the clearway I found it closed. I called out but to no avail. I walked round the building to see if a small clearway was open but I found none. There was light from My ‘The Hers’ room but it seems she could not hear me sing either. I’m reluctant to try at His clearway since he throws things at the slightest sound. You really wouldn’t believe he doesn’t recognise my voice after all these years.The woods lie very close to home and some very inviting rustling sounds stirred memories of my great hunting days when I was wont to leave my Longlegs superb gifts every day. Surely I had lost none of my skills and I needed to occupy my time before returning home to find the clearway open again.

I stepped into the woods and the dark became more absolute as the night light could not break through the branches of the trees. There was a sound to my left and in one lithe move I turned and pounced. Ugh, it was one of those long things with hundreds of legs where not one of them tastes like chicken. I let it go and moved further into the trees. Another noise, another pounce and under my paw was a mouse. I was tempted to eat some and take the rest back to the Longlegs until I remembered they seem to like live things like that to play with and might not appreciate such a gift. I let it go also and moved further into the trees. Then there was a rustle and as I pounced I was met with a fox pouncing in my direction and how he smelled ( yes I know, with his nose)phew ! It was a shock to both of us but foxes don’t tend to hang around us Superiors for long so he turned tail and walked away. I suspect I should have been insulted that he didn’t run but perhaps he perceived I was not looking for a fight.

I was turning round to retrace my steps out of the woods since the time was passing and I’d proved I can still hunt when there was a loud scream and a whooshing sound. My automatic response was to duck ( not fear you understand, just the opportunity to assess the situation) which I did and as I did I felt something touch my back. A  screech of disappointment followed and as I looked up I saw a pair of claws rising above me attached to a great bird who’d been hunting me as I hunted. My departure from the woods speeded up at that point and the morning light was just coming through as I reached safety, erm I mean reached home. I strolled across the lawns towards the clearway and saw My ‘The Him’ just open it. I  picked up speed and made it before it was closed again.
“Why Oscar. where have you been? Don’t tell me you’ve been out all night” said My ‘The Him’ never the brightest bulb in the box.
“You must be hungry old boy. Let’s get something for you.” But he’s not too bad though sometimes. Maybe I’ll forgive him this time.
I ate and went through to where My ‘The Her’ was sleeping. I jumped up and curled up beside her tummy and fell asleep.

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shroom-girl
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Hoping you all have a great new week full of hugs to remind you how special you are. Thanks for your company.
David

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A Black Day for Oscar.

14/5/2012

    The Longlegs had gone out and the smell was tormenting me. A lovely rich heady smell that tickles the nostrils and makes you want to eat it and here I was stuck inside with no clearways open and unable to get at it. I know I’ve smelt it before but I can’t remember where. I suppose I shall have to be patient.

That’s long enough. My patience has worn thin. I went to look through one of the clearways to see if I could see where the smell was coming from but I got a little tangled in the clearway covering. Trying to wrest myself from the grip of the covering I perhaps pulled a little hard because they came down with a snap and covered me even more. As they fell, unfortunately they brought down one of those tall things my ‘The Her’ puts her flowers in. I hope they’re good with puzzles.At last a key in the lock. I shot across the room and reached the clearway just as it opened. I shot out. “Oscar” they shouted in unison and my ‘The Him’ tried to grab me as I went past. Last I saw of him he was on my level struggling to get up. I admit I shouldn’t have sniggered as I looked at him because before I knew it my feet were feeling warm and the smell was very close indeed. I finally looked down. My feet were black.

The smell was coming from the surface of the road which had been freshly covered in black stuff. I turned and pulled my feet from the road one by one moving back towards the grass of the garden. The heat was leaving my feet but now my pads felt quite hard. They were covered from pads to ankle in black smelly stuff that had been spread across the road. As I got to the grass I lay down and tried to remove the layer of black that had attached itself to me. I went home through the still open clearway and as I hit the wooden floor my pads were tapping as though I wore the Longlegs shoes. It was undignified to have people hear me coming. I went to my ‘The Her and expressed my dismay that she would not try to  keep me in, and dismay that she did not make more of an effort to keep me in.She as usual feigned indifference to my words as though I do not make myself understood. I’m sure I do.

So, I finish the day sitting by my ‘The Her’ as she gently tries to soap the black stuff they call tar from my pads with soapy water. This could be a very long job.its-love-2

go-for-your-gun-1
                                                              Go for your gun pardner.
honest-its-a-motor-car-usually
                                                      Honest, it’s a motor car usually.
                                         A magic week to you all with Hugs Galore x

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Oscar gets a kitten?

7/5/2012

    I’ve seen it but I don’t believe it. It’s uncanny just how silly my Longlegs can be the minute I let them out of my sight.

    It was three lights ago when I saw them heading out of the clearway to their chariot. My ‘The Her’ even shouted goodbye but I was too busy yawning and stretching to respond properly, I did however send a thought in their direction that I required some nice fresh chicken. Sometimes they’re quite clever and catch the thought, other times they’re just so obtuse it a crime.

I occupied my time properly while they were out with sleeping, stretching and sleeping some more. After all, you must be very careful not to overdo things there days. I was lying on my ‘The Hers’ sleeping place basking in the warm light that comes through the clearway as I didn’t want to go through to where she has those rats of hers. They can be very rude sometimes. Anyway, I have no idea what she sees in them at all and should really be reprimanding her for not being available whenever I want her. Even my ‘The Him’ seems to have more time than she does. There will have to be a reckoning soon.

Some time passed and the light had moved a bit. I roused myself as there was a need for food. Roast rat on a stick appealed but there was no chance of that. Just then the clearway opened. In came my ‘The Him’ carrying what looked like a kitten box followed by my ‘The Her’ saying “Hello my baby, see what Mummy has got, Such a surprise.”
“It is a kitten ” I thought, ” but she’d better be referring to some nice tender chicken or else”………. She wasn’t.                                                                                                                         Bags of shopping were strewn everywhere in their food room but nothing came out for me. Instead they gathered round the cages in the room of seats and started making the strangest cooing noises. My ‘The Him’ ran out and came back with a new cage like that of a Chinese bird, sat down, opened the cage door and proceeded to place some pieces of paper and food inside. My ‘The Her’ opened the kitten box. I was about to tell her no kitten was going in a cage in my home when out of the box she drew ‘Another Rat’. Not just any ordinary rat either, it was obviously a kitten and quite small but it’s ears, Ohh it’s ears, they were big. I’m talking BIG here. They were like conch shells sticking out. Already I’m alternating between boredom and anger. After all, what need have we of another rat? What need have we of ANY rats I ask.

They spent more time putting the creature now called Bernadette in the cage and trying to stroke it before standing the cage on top of the big cage with the Cruella sisters in. I’m half past bored now so I wandered off to the food room. I could smell no chicken for which there will be payment but I did manage to find a rather nice parcel of ham which tided me over till tea time. I even felt so much better when I heard the squeal later ” Julia, that cat, YOUR cat has had my lunch”. Soooo satisfying.

Anyway, I’ve decided not to let them out of my sight for a while. Three rats in the house is three rats too many albeit one is too young to  be rude yet. I’m waiting till they realise that it’s chicken or nothing next time. And in the meantime I’m going to occupy the knee of one or other of them and get all the attention I can.

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Oscar’s New World Order

6/5/2012

    It was CATastrophic. There I had been, contented after my sachet of prime beef and ready for sleep. Within minutes I was in a world I couldn’t recognise, couldn’t understand and didn’t like.

I had walked to the village to check on my interests and seen small groups of the local cats and kittens along my way. In the centre by the Fursty Ferret sat Ginger or rather stood like  a Longlegs reading from a paper tacked to the wall. “What are we to do Oscar?” he said “we can no longer be friends.”
“What rubbish is this Ginger” I asked, ” how can we not be friends after having been so for such  a time?”
“Ti’s no longer to be allowed since this new Cat Council has come into being.”
“Cat Council? What are you blathering about Ginger.”
“Read it” he said.

                                                  By Order of the Cat Council.
Let it be known in the world of Moggies that the Council has in it’s wisdom decreed changes that are to be implemented immediately.
No more will there be mixing of breed. 
From now on Pure White Persians are the true breed and are selected for rule. Only they shall sit on the Council.
Ginger and marmalade cats are to be the troops under the direction of the Council and who are to enforce the rules.
Black cats are the workers and are to perform all the duties decided for them by the Council and told to them by the troops.
Manx Cats are to be pitied and laughed at.

No groups are to socialise with each other since obviously only Pure White Persians are worth socialising with. We, the Council will decide whether anyone from one group can rise in  the ranks to another- simply they can’t.
All worship shall be decided by The Council. We shall decide on a deity suitable for each rank. That deity shall be governed by the rules of the Council.
If any kitten should be found playing in a way thought not suitable or playing with a kitten from another group,  that kitten can be beaten by the Deity’s Pastor of the flock. Especially if they are found to be playing with others of the same sex.
Any older kittens found to be with others of the same sex will be ostracised from all groups and deemed to be unclean.

Signed
Supreme Mog

” But this is patently ridiculous Ginger” I told him.” We’re far too civilised to live this way. Just ignore it, obviously a big joke.”
“But……” he said, and at that moment I woke up. I laughed to myself. How silly, I thought. After all, no-one could live like that could they?

new-trainers
                                                             It’s for you.
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                 Not a good idea to say “Where’s your nose Amelie?” Excavation due.

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Oscar Gets Needled.

16/04/2012

What a day I’ve had. You wouldn’t believe the trouble I’ve been to today to bring the house to order.
Let’s start with this morning. In all innocence I went to my ‘The Him’ and suggested he wake up. OK, I admit it wasn’t easy to rouse him and I had to resort to nibbling his nose a bit but it’s not really my fault. In all fairness he was making such a racket it was no wonder he couldn’t hear me. So, I stopped the noise so he could understand what I was telling him and he had the nerve to object. I jumped off his sleeping place pretty rapidly as I don’t think the hand coming towards me was going to stroke me as I deserve. He turned his light on and seemed to glare at me. I walked away with my head held high as he followed me muttering all the time as he does sometimes. Anyway, after I had established that I has woken him for an emergency- my dish was empty- he filled it and returned to his sleeping place. I ignored the food for now since I wasn’t hungry ( but you can’t be too careful) and followed him back, settling on his stomach and doing a few turns just to get comfy. I’d just about reached that comfy stage when he sat up again moaning about his bladder or something and left, inconsiderate eh. Since there was now a nice warm spot I didn’t follow him but settled down.

No doubt there was no intent to distress me, but it wasn’t working. There I was woken from my sleep by my ‘The Him’ and he was picking me up and stroking my head. Now I became suspicious at this point as he wasn’t chunnering, mumbling or threatening me. It became obvious there was something wrong when my ‘The Her’ came in with a bag in her hands and he tried to put me in it. Naturally I tried to resist and in the process must have ‘accidentally’ caught my ‘The Him’s’ arm. There he was, screaming again about Bar Codes or something while forcing me down until my ‘The Her’ managed to shut the zip over me. It was very undignified but I suppose that’s what non-Superiors are like. I was quiet for a minute but unhappy so I started letting them know it. My ‘The Her’ was shushing me while he was carrying the bag outside to their chariot.

It was a short journey and the smell of our destination quietened me. I knew where I was and I didn’t like it one bit. Someone called my name and I was carried through to a white room and the bag was placed down. Suddenly the zip opened and a large paw came in and grabbed me by my neck. I didn’t wriggle or fight as this one in white is very strong. Moments later a sharp jab in my rear followed by a quick rub and I was thrust in the bag again. Another short journey and we were home. He placed my bag on the seating place and called to my ‘The Her’, “All done for another year Dear, shots are up to date. Would you like to come and let him out because I’m not putting my arms anywhere near the little wretch.” My ‘The Her’ opened the zip and lifted me out into a hug. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself- with good reason- and enjoyed it.
“There, there ” she said “all over now Oscar. David you’re such a wimp, he’s as good as gold aren’t you boy?”

I limped off to have a little food from my dish and then came back to the seating place for a catnap. I was just settling down to rest when Rat 1 spoke up, ” Hey cat, I hear you’ve been out today , well I can see the bags under your eyes or rather the bag that was around them but don’t get needled with me.” I could hear her laughing as I tried to sleep. Just as I thought the day couldn’t get any worse I heard my ‘The Her’ talking to the box in her hand. “Yes, you can collect him on Thursday evening and we’ll be back on Sunday night. We’re going away for a few days.” I knew that meant I was going away too but not with them. Another little holiday for me at the Superior’s Hotel where I never get enough to eat, don’t get the strokes I deserve and don’t get to share a comfy sleeping place with my Longlegs.
Like I said, I’ve had quite a day.

new-christmas

Santa was able to wish Reuben and Amelie a Merry Christmas when they paid him a visit, complete with parents, this weekend.

Whatever your personal beliefs, I  wish you joy of the season and happiness if you’re off for the holidays.

For the  New Year many people will make wishes. My own personal wish is for more peace in the world. More love, more respect, more tolerance and less killing.

To anything that can advance my cause I wish more strength and Hugs without end.

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn  Newydd Dda.

peace-on-earth

image compliments of 123greetings.com

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Fair Play for Rats

30/3/2012

“Penny stop eating or you’ll explode, come over here and hold up this hook. That’s it, now I’ll just get through the gap and hold it from the other side so you can get through. Why would you want to get though? Well I thought you were going to help me put our side of the story here? Oh, you’d forgotten again. Right, just put down that peanut and hold this before someone comes.”

“Can’t I just take it with me wherever we”re going Amy”?

“Better not Penny since we don’t want to leave clues that we left home without Longlegs help.”

“Right Penny, we made it. This is the box I’ve seen the Longlegs use and also that smug cat who thinks he’s better than us. Him pretending to ignore us but I see those whiskers on the go twitching at our every move. OK now Penny. you have to listen. I need to press these buttons and will ask you to press some too. Yes, it’s important, and yes you can write the pretty words.”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx “Penny, don’t lean on the letters please!”

HELP, we are two Lady Rats being held against our will inside a cat infested house. I know he will tell lies about us so that he doesn’t have to tell his friends we have taken his place in the affection of the Longlegs.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx “Penny, get your tummy off the keyboard please!”
To resume….. You will no doubt hear that we took a piece from his tail which is not true. He was leaning on our home and licking his lips when my sister decided to see if she could get him through the bars-as she does with everything- and had to get a good grip with her teeth to allow her to brace herself with her hands. No malice intended. I want the world to be aware that we are not here by choice and that I was caught on the last dash for freedom I made.
“Penny Dear, don’t try and eat that please, you’ll cut off the electrickers we need to send this message.”
To resume…… Please disregard anything the cat says about us until you’ve heard our side of the story but be prepared for squeals if he attempts to make a meal of us. His squeals I mean. But, if you want to rescue us from this environment, we’ll be most grateful.
“Yes Penny, I know you’re hungry, we can go back now. You just write the pretty words at the end and sign it.!
HALP US PLAESE
LOVE FORM
PENI NAD AMI.

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